tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC May 30, 2014 11:34pm-12:37am PDT
made powder blue suits hot again. the hit got up to 2 billion views. justin bieber's baby has one billion views and that's popular. the korean pop video was uploaded on july of 2012. it's been on the hot 100 list and inspires thousands as well as millions of dollars in advertising deals. jeff ranieri. >> i was going to say i'm the only person that doesn't know how to do that. i saw you. >> i try. my parents and friends know how to do it, down, perfection at weddings, like mom, wow, you go. >> hanging out in the broadcast booth. >> have a nice weekend. >> i got to practice. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- kevin bacon, animal expert jeff musial,
musical guest ty dolla $ign, and featuring the legendary roots crew. and now, here's your host jimmy fallon! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, that's what i'm talking about. oh my goodness. welcome to "the tonight show everybody." that was a nice warm welcome. thank you very, very much. hot crowd. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: hot. >> jimmy: hot crowd. a fun show planned for you tonight. let's talk what everyone is talking about, march madness.
[ cheers and applause ] big upsets. big upsets. duke -- duke lost. just yell out colleges. just make up words. [ light laughter ] yell out fake words. doesn't even matter, yeah. cornelius! number 12 seed harvard beat number 5 seed cincinnati. [ cheers and applause ] big upset. harvard students has haven't been this excited since the last time they told someone they go to harvard. [ laughter ] "what, i told you four times already? well i go to harvard." [ laughter ] that's right, number 12 seed harvard beat number 5 seed cincinnati. fans were like, "wow, do you know the chances of something like that happening?" then all the harvard players said, "actually i do, one out of five. i go to harvard. did i mention i go to harvard?" [ laughter ] the harvard guys had a good game plan. when they committed a foul, they're dad called the ref and got them out of it. [ laughter ] i paid for those seats. harvard fans were really pumped up at the game especially when they saw the sweater vest cannon.
[ laughter ] honey look at my new sweater vest? [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: argyle. >> jimmy: and did you see last week the basketball coach at the university of delaware mistakenly ignored a phone call from joe biden wishing him good luck because he didn't recognize biden's number. [ laughter ] and then obama was like, "well there goes my excuse." [ laughter ] different thing. the other big story here, after this conflict in ukraine, the u.s. imposed sanctions on russia this week, and yesterday russia imposed penalties on the u.s. they've been going back and forth all week. and the media seems to have settled on one particular phrase to describe what's going on. see if you can tell what it is. >> it is tit for tat between the united states and russia. >> this becomes a tit for tat. >> tit for tat. >> it is tit for tat. >> tit for tat. >> tit for tat. >> tit for tat. >> economics --
>> long distance -- >> massive tit -- >> this feels like a -- tit -- >> tit, tit, tit, tit, tat, tat, tat. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and i have just been fined a billion dollars by the fcc. [ light laughter ] i just found out, yeah. let's see what else is happening in washington. during a speech on women's economic issues yesterday, president obama said that our country's policies would be different if men were having babies. and biden said, "how would that work? would the baby come from the butt?" [ laughter ] "no. stop talking." "belly button?" "biden stop." embarrassing. it's been a tough week for the president. get this, "fortune" magazine -- you know that magazine right? they just released a list of this worlds 50 greatest leaders which includes angelina jolie, derek jeter, and bono, but not president obama. [ laughter ]
and if you ask me, it almost seems like they were intentionally trying to upset president obama. take a look at some of the other people on this list. michelle obama, malia obama, sasha obama, bo obama, justin bieber. charlie sheen, rob ford, screech, dustin diamond, and finally rob ford again. [ laughter ] he was on there twice. two times. [ cheers and applause ] hey, i saw a trailer for the 3-d full length "peanuts" movie was released this week. it's going to be the first 3d cartoon that parents will have to drag their kids to see. it is about a depressed boy and a dog that doesn't talk. come on. let's go. it's fun. [ laughter ] >> steve: the dog doesn't talk? >> jimmy: no, the dog doesn't talk and the boy is bald. let's go, it's really fun. [ laughter ] there is a lot of jazz. there's jazz music.
come on, let's go watch. exactly, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] let's go see it can't wait! 3d oh my god! >> jimmy: get this, i just read about a couple in mexico that is getting married to each other every single day this year. [ light laughter ] i guess the water isn't the only thing in mexico that makes you throw up. [ laughter ] who cares. get a job. get a hobby. volunteer. do something good for the world. we love each other so much we're getting married every day. who cares. do something with yourself. i don't know why i'm so mad at these people. >> steve: you're mad at these people. [ laughter ] furious. >> jimmy: this is dumb. do something else. i don't -- hey guys, did you see there is a group of high school kids in
california that are suing google. they say that they violate privacy laws by monitoring their g-mail accounts. google has offered the kids a a pretty good settlement. not showing their parents their browser history. [ laughter ] what the heck is -- what is porn dot bomb, what is that? [ laughter ] this is interesting. nasa just revealed that the planet mercury is a lot smaller than originally thought. then they turned the telescope back around and say, "oh, sorry, no it's our bad. [ laughter ] still big. sorry, my bad." "gary, get out of the observatory." i thought this was very surprising. there is a new study out that says an ingredient in tequila can help protect against diabetes. [ cheers and applause ] finally a shot people with diabetes can enjoy. [ light laughter ] i love it. listen to this. attorney generals from 24 states are calling on wal-mart to stop selling tobacco products. wal-mart protested they said, "look without cigarettes how would we pay our greeters?"
[ laughter ] "welcome to wal-mart, my name is barbara. [ laughter ] how we doing? it's a beautiful day." [ cheers and applause ] actually eat cigarettes. "ethel, come over here and help me out." "what's the problem?" "hi guys!" "hi terrence." [ laughter ] finally this week, someone managed to steel $400,000 worth of wine from a warehouse in the napa valley. police are still looking for evidence while kathie lee and hoda are looking for an alibi. we have a great show. give it up for the roots right there! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
that is my pal. ann wilson from the legendary heart. oh, we love you! >> thank you. >> jimmy: i love you! >> thank you. >> jimmy: heart will be on tour throughout the spring and summer. here's their new cd and dvd, fanatic live, from ceaser's colesium. thank you so much for being here, you're the best. [ cheers and applause ] what a treat. >> this is a treat for me to be with these guys. >> jimmy: come every day. just hang out with us. we love you some much. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. perfect, deal. uh, guys, before we get started with the show, we're going to do this fun thing on the show next week. but we need your help. all you need to do is take a a short video of your kid making their best funny face. here is an example of what we're looking for. >> hi, i'm silvia and this is my funny face. [ laughter ]
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so just take a video like that, upload it to youtube with the title tonight show funny face off. or go to tonightshow.com/funnyfaceoff to download our new tonight show app. it actually works this time. our app works. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah i'm very excited about it. our late night app did not work, this one works. i'm very excited about this. but anyways you can download our app you can submit your video from there and you might see your kids funny face on the show. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: rob ford. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: little robbie ford. >> jimmy: we have a great show tonight. this guy is the coolest human being on the planet. he brought his a-game tonight. he's got a hit show "the following." everyone loves this show. kevin bacon is here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] he is the coolest. mr. cool. it's also the 30th anniversary of "footloose." [ cheers and applause ]
i don't want to talk about it. i don't want to talk about it. >> steve: why not talk about it? >> jimmy: it's just that there is no dancing allowed on "the tonight show." >> steve: are you serious? there's a rule? >> jimmy: yeah -- it's in the rule -- but i don't want to get into it. it's not a big deal. let's just forget i even brought it up. >> steve: forget you mention it. >> jimmy: also, i guess we're doing this. making his first appearance at 11:30, our animal guy jeff musial is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: you love him. >> jimmy: no, i don't love him. i don't like him, we don't get along. [ light laughter ] i don't know why we invited him back to our show? he is the worst. >> steve: he's -- no, come on. >> jimmy: he is the worst person i have ever met in my life. [ laughter ] >> steve: are you serious? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. i really hate him. he brings on these animals and he scares me and he doesn't even know anything about the animals. [ light laughter ] i don't know what he's doing is legal.
jeff musial is here with his animals. [ cheers and applause ] i love him, i love him. and we got great music from ty dolla sign. [ cheers and applause ] today is friday, and that's usually when i catch up with personal stuff. i check my inbox and return some emails and of course i send out thank you notes. i was running a bit behind -- [ cheers and applause ] so i thought if you guys wouldn't mind i would just like to write all my weekly thank you notes right now. is that cool with you guys? [ cheers and applause ] jamal, can i get some of the thank you note writing music please? ♪ [ light laughter ] or james, i guess james can do it. james i guess you can do it i guess. [ light laughter ] [ audience awws ] ah, please. who cares they're getting married everyday. oh shut up. [ laughter ] get a job. >> steve: we're gonna get married everyday. >> jimmy: give me a break. >> steve: we got divorced
today. >> jimmy: how's everything at walmart? [ laughter ] >> steve: it's all good. >> jimmy: it's really good. garden hoses are on sale right now. [ light laughter ] ♪ thank you, new smart tags for food containers that change color when food has gone bad. which explains that new slogan, arby's, taste the rainbow. [ laughter ] that's not fair. what did they ever do to you? they did nothing. what's the big problem? [ light laughter ] >> steve: taste the rainbow. >> jimmy: why say it so creepy like that? >> steve: what's that? >> jimmy: it just sounds creepy. >> steve: taste the rainbow. >> jimmy: stop saying that. ♪ thank you, spring, for being nature's version of puberty. ♪ [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, friends who send e-mail updates about the marathon their running for
charity. for basically saying, here's an e-mail to make you feel like a a lazy and terrible person. good luck. [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, brunch, for being alcoholism with a a side of toast. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yeah, come on. >> jimmy: they make the best bloody marys here. >> steve: it's my third bloody mary. >> jimmy: this is my fifth bloody mary -- >> steve: we're done with break. >> jimmy: it's our cigarette break. i got to eat four palmals. [ laughter ] do they still make palmals? >> steve: yeah, they still make palmals. >> jimmy: they do? >> steve: oh hell yeah. >> jimmy: my grandma -- smokes palmals. >> steve:did she smoke straights or filtered? >> jimmy: no straights man. yeah, it's crazy time. [ laughter ] why are you playing music? [ laughter ] >> steve: is this a jazz club? >> jimmy: the peanuts soundtrack, yeah. [ laughter ]
♪ >> jimmy: thank you, tooth fairy, for being an adorable mythical creature that pays for children's bones. [ laughter ] creepy, creepy. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, cardboard coffee holder, for being a tube top for my latte. [ laughter ] tube top. >> steve: tube top, come on. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, pears, for being apples with a little junk in the trunk. [ laughter ] >> steve: nice pear. >> jimmy: yeah, i get that. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, zebras, for being the perfect referee for a game of horse. [ laughter ] there you guys go. those are my thank you notes. we'll be back with more of "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ >> jimmy: our first guest tonight has a lot going on. he stars in the hit tv show "the following." gosh, i love that show. and this year marks the 30th anniversary of one of his most beloved films, "footloose." [ cheers and applause ] which reminds me, i should quickly mention that dancing has been outlawed here at "the tonight show." [ boos ] guys, it says so right here and -- dancing's outlawed. it's official, i mean, it's a a bummer, but rules are rules. [ boos ] oh, shut up! [ laughter ] we have to follow the rules, you guys. [ boos ] no dancing! anyways, please welcome kevin bacon, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dancing is illegal?
starts with nothing you got ♪ ♪ nothing to lose never never never never never hide your heart never ever ever ♪ ♪ if you don't give your heart wings you never never never never never never never fly ♪ [ cheers and applause ] i thought this was a party. >> jimmy: let's dance! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ now i got to cut loose
foot loose kick off my sunday shoes please, louise ♪ ♪ pull me off of my knees jack, get mack come on before we crack lose your blues ♪ ♪ everybody cut footloose ♪ ♪ everybody cut foot loose everybody cut, everybody cut everybody cut everybody cut ♪ ♪ everybody cut foot loose ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i hereby proclaim that dancing is now legal here at "the tonight show," thanks to kevin bacon. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. i'm here with kevin bacon, right there. oh, my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] you are the coolest. you are the man. thank you for doing that. that is the best entrance in the history of our show. >> i had so much of fun. >> jimmy: that was the way to do it. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. it was -- it was a blast. >> jimmy: you were here -- you were here all day shooting this, huh? you came in at 10:00 in the morning. >> yeah, we came in early. >> jimmy: thank you for doing that. >> that was great. no, i loved it. >> jimmy: no one does that, so
thank you. that really means a lot to me. and you had, uh -- that wasn't you doing the flipping and the -- >> no, uh -- >> jimmy: that was a stunt double. >> no, it was a -- it was a a double. in fact, he's here. andres is here. he looks -- >> jimmy: he looks nothi like you. [ cheers and applause ] >> very much like me. excellent. >> jimmy: it's almost like your twin brother. >> yeah. very much like the movie. >> jimmy: it's almost like a a twin brother, yeah. >> he looks nothing like me at all. [ laughter ] yeah. um -- andres, you were doing flipping and everything. are you a gymnast? >> yes. >> jimmy: you are? >> yes. >> jimmy: wow. what do you do as a gymnist? do you compete? >> is he a gymnast? no, he's a waiter, obviously. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i'm wondering. maybe he's a trainer, i don't know what he does. >> he's amazing. >> jimmy: are you competing? >> uh -- yeah, i'm getting ready for another competition in the pan- american games in canada. >> jimmy: there you go, man. well, good. go for it. [ cheers and applause ] we're rooting for you. did you have stunt doubles like andres on "footloose"? >> yeah, we had, like, tons. i mean, there were guys doing all kinds of stuff. you know, the stunts and uh -- dancing and the gymnastics, and you know, i started to get a a real inferiority complex. you know, when you see a guy --
you see 18 guys in acid wash jeans and white t-shirts with their hair like that, standing around going, "let's see what he's got to do." i'm like, "well, you know, you try to cry on cue!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, tell them how to act. teach them how to act. exactly. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: but i mean, did you -- when you read the script for "footloose," you were like, "yeah, i can do a dancing movie"? >> well, yeah. i mean, look. i grew up in philly, so dancing was very much -- [ cheers and applause ] i mean, here's the thing. really, what to me, dancing was all about trying to grind with felicia. we had to grind. and you could not grind if you sat on the bench. so, at the dances when you're in junior high, you know, and she's like eight feet taller than you -- which is perfect because you're head's in exactly the right place. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i got you. i see where you're going. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and you got harold melvin and the blue notes, and it's like -- ♪ if you don't know me by now you will never, never, never know me ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and you got, you know, the science teacher's running over and ripping her off. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and you're like, "put the three dog night back on!" >> jimmy: with a ruler. "you have to be this far apart." >> yeah. that's what it was all about
for me. i loved to dance before i, you know, got the movie. so it was -- but i was not a a trained dancer. >> jimmy: you weren't. and then, you just got the role when you auditoned. did you, like -- i mean, all of those moves. i mean, it's crazy. >> well. >> jimmy: that is you doing it. >> well, not all of them. but i mean -- you know, look. i was, um -- [ laughter ] i did my best, you know? i did my best. >> jimmy: it's the greatest, and everyone loves it. i mean, it's 30 years later. [ cheers and applause ] >> it's a long time. >> jimmy: now, you were 24 when you did that? >> i was 24 when i did it, and i was supposed to be playing a a 17- year-old. so, i figured that i needed to do a little research and see if i was going to be able to pull -- this is way before "21 jump street," i might add. but i checked myself. i had the movie company check me into a local high school as an exchange student. >> jimmy: no! >> yeah, no, nobody knew about but the principal of the school. and it was a really amazing experience because, you know, coming from philly, i was like, i'll just stroll into this school, and i don't care. i was terrified to be there.
i mean, it's like big, you know, corn fed farm boys kind of giving me crap in the bathroom just like in the movie. >> jimmy: yeah, and you would just dance your way out of the fight? >> i did. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the way to do it. >> that's exactly right. >> jimmy: show them what's up, man. >> yeah. that's exactly right. >> jimmy: you're a dancer, not a fighter. >> but it was a scary day. >> jimmy: and also your look is pretty rad in the movie, your hair -- >> well, everything that i did hair-wise at that time was all based on sting. >> jimmy: sting? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's who you wanted to be. look at this. >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: i get it now. [ laughter ] i mean, that's exactly -- you exactly took hair. >> i was a very big fan of the police, and i actually ad-libbed something in the movie where i referenced the police. >> jimmy: did you really? >> and when i was putting the look together. you know, i said, well, this is what i want to look like. >> jimmy: that's so rad. i had my hair spiked out when i auditioned for "saturday night live" because of a hairstyle from kate beckinsale. [ laughter ]
i saw hers. she had spiky hair and it looked really cool. i was like, "that's going to be my hairdo." >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. i want to thank kate beckinsale for that. i think i might even have a a photo. here's me and kate beckinsale. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> that's awesome. >> jimmy: i was a baby. yeah, that was back in the day. >> oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: i know it's ridiculous. i got to say congrats on "the following." gosh. >> thank you. >> jimmy: everyone loves this thing. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love it. james purefoy is great. >> yeah, he's awesome. >> jimmy: scary, scary stuff. he was on our show and he brought one of those look-a-like masks. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. the joe carroll mask. >> jimmy: it's frightening. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: but what a great -- writers. you have great writers on the show. >> we do. it's a lot of fun. and we've been here in new york shooting all winter. it has been a cold winter to be here shooting outside, as you can imagine. >> jimmy: yeah, we've had the longest winter, and it's still not over. >> yeah, still not over. and our crew is heroic. you know, i mean, i have people that bring me coats and warm beverages and heated cod pieces and stuff. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: i'm wearing one right now! yeah, yeah. that's the only way to do it. >> i don't even know what that is. >> jimmy: yeah, a heated cod >> but still, the only problem is that my character's not a so, my head gets really cold. and sometimes, the only thing that can be a problem is your face will actually freeze, making it hard to say dialogue. so i'll be like -- [ mumbling intentionally ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they're like, "kevin, stop with the botox." yeah. >> yeah. it's great. exactly. >> jimmy: it's like, i kind of -- [ mumbling intentionally ] do you have subtitles on the show? >> it's bad. they have to bring -- >> jimmy: what do you do though? >> they can just bring a hair dryer and just blow dry my face. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> sure. >> jimmy: no, they don't. >> you've never had your face blow dried? [ laughter ] come on. >> jimmy: once in college. >> you haven't lived. >> jimmy: i don't want to talk about it. i don't want to talk about it. i also want to mention, the bacon brothers. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you and your brother -- gosh, you're always performing -- you're doing a gig tomorrow in d.c. >> yeah, stand for the troops. yeah. >> jimmy: stand for the troops at george washington university. how great is that that you're doing that? it's awesome. [ cheers and applause ] >> it's going to be fun.
>> jimmy: you've got to come back and play when you come on our show. >> love to. we would love to. thank you. >> jimmy: we love this guy. kevin bacon. "the following" airs mondays at 9:00 on fox. [ cheers and applause ] animal expert jeff musial joins us next. come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ when was the last time your wireless company made you feel like this? or this? the new cricket wireless believes you should be doing... a lot more of this. so we don't have any of those silly annual contracts. but we do have a whole lot of coverage. all for just $35 dollars a month; after a $5 credit for using auto pay. so everyone can feel like this! the new cricket wireless. something to smile about. ♪ [ female announcer ] is your morning trying to tell you something? maybe we should have gotten him one? [ female announcer ] sweet, creamy iced coffee from mcdonald's.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness! ann wilson. oh, my goodness. the best. just amazing. just amazing. oh, my gosh. welcome back to our show, everybody. this next guy -- he's back. and that's all i'm going to say. [ laughter ] he put this on instagram. look at this. a camel -- there's a camel in his van. [ laughter ] i mean, this dude's just nuts. we love him so much. welcome back to our show with a a variety of animals, large and small, here's our animal expert. here's jeff musial, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> so cool.
>> jimmy: jeff, welcome to "the tonight show," buddy. >> thanks you. congratulations, man. roots, my boys. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they're not -- they're not your boys. >> the saga continues. get on the desk. get on the desk. get on the desk. lay down. get up. get on the desk, please. get up. lay down. hurry. >> jimmy: what are you doing? >> just lay on the desk. hurry up. lay on the desk. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you -- what are you talking about? >> time's going. no, the other way. the other way. belly up. yep. like you're in a coffin. yep, good. [ laughter ] no. good. so cool. because sloths do everything upside down, but the babies do everything right side up, okay? [ audience aws ] so, you have to keep -- there you go! and then you feed them, and i'll see if she'll eat. oh, there you go. look at it. she'll eat. and jimmy will eat -- >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy. >> jimmy: what's wrong with you? you're freaking the sloths out. >> no, they have living organisms that live all over them, and the living organisms will live on their skin. they also have one of the most vicious bites with bacteria on their teeth. >> jimmy: what is going on? get this thing off of me right now. [ laughter ]
>> this is cool. hang on. we're going to do a selfie. look here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, god. i hate my life. i hate my life. [ cheers and applause ] >> so cool. that's awesome. >> jimmy: that's unbelievable. >> yeah. don't move though. >> jimmy: okay. can you get this off of me? >> okay, sure. his name's sid. they're from south america. it's a two-toed sloth. he's 7 months old. look at him. he's riding. he's like -- ♪ oh it's surfboard surfboard ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what is that? that's not a song. >> oh, it is. >> jimmy: all right. >> this is the cutest thing in the entire world known to man. >> jimmy: it really is cute. >> look at that. >> jimmy: look at that sloth. >> just chewing away. >> jimmy: a 7-month-old sloth? >> unbelievable. named sid. two-toed sloth, and uh -- you can feel him. [ light laughter ] you can feel how he wants you to scratch under his armpit. yep. [ laughter ] just because you're big time, you can still scratch under the armpits, right? there we go. >> jimmy: aww, i love him. can we have this as a pet? >> if you want to, yeah, i'll give him to you. i'll donate him to you. yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, it's so cute. my god. he's loving it. yes, he does! >> okay. enough, enough, enough. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, sorry. >> i come here to scare you,
not for you to like, make out with things. okay? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i didn't make out with a sloth. >> now, this is so cool. and i love your new set by the way. >> jimmy: stop yelling! stop yelling. >> sorry. i love your new set. >> jimmy: thank you. >> and it's like perfect for this guy. this guy came from a place called unique creatures, and his name's varo. look at this thing! [ audience ohs ] look! it's like godzilla. woo! [ cheers and applause ] woo! >> jimmy: what is wrong with you? >> look at this. >> jimmy: no, no, no, no, no, no. >> look at it. look at its tongue! >> jimmy: no! >> look at it. just look. >> jimmy: stop it! >> just look at it. it's scary! >> jimmy: what's wrong with you? >> sorry. i'm sorry. he's got a big tongue. he's got long claws. >> jimmy: what is this thing? >> get the chicken. get the chicken. this is cool. grab the -- here. feed him. hold this in front of him. >> jimmy: i'm freaking out. >> these're buffalo wings from buffalo. feed him. [ cheers and applause ] feed him. >> jimmy: with my finger? >> i wouldn't touch raw chicken. that's nasty. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're the one that -- you're making me do this. >> you haven't learned anything? hold it in front. watch this. he'll like -- watch this.
look at this. he loves buffalo wings. >> jimmy: yeah, loo at it. >> extra raw. look at this. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: dang, that's scary. >> look at that. so cool, right? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, frightening. scary. >> awesome. they're a part of the komodo dragon famil you can feel their back. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> it's super beady, super -- [ laughter ] well. >> jimmy: don't freak him out. >> look at that! he just swallows it whole. they have more bacteria in their mouth than any other animal, and they also - - [ laughter ] scientists now -- no, like, feel him. feel his back here. >> jimmy: no, i don't want to feel his back bacteria. >> they have -- scientists say that these guys have slight -- [ audience gasps ] i'm christening "the tonight show." >> jimmy: oh, my god. get it. >> and you can follow me on jeff animal guy on twitter. jeff animal guy. >> jimmy: what are you talking about? >> if you want to follow jeff animal guy. you'll see the selfie. >> jimmy: just do this. >> on twitter. >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> oh, i'll get rid of him. all right, you want to see this? this is going to be great. this is -- sorry. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> now for this other animal -- >> jimmy: yeah. what is it? what is this? a bear -- wait. what are you -- what are you talking about? did you -- >> you need this.
>> jimmy: you brought a giant bear? >> bear repellent. >> jimmy: for a bear on "the tonight show"? >> because someone might die. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: why are you excited about this? >> go out with a bang, man. that's your thing. [ cheers and applause ] go ahead. feel him. hold him. hold him on the -- up, up, up. under his arms. [ audience oohs ] up, up, hold him up under his arms. up. good. >> jimmy: stop yawning. >> now. [ audience aws ] how cute is that thing? look at him. >> jimmy: hi, buddy. >> well, support his legs. you have a baby. come on, man. support his legs. >> jimmy: you just told me to hold under his armpits. >> hang on. i'm going to get his bottle going. [ laughter ] >> oh. sorry. [ applause ] it was loose -- oh, sorry. sorry. >> jimmy: don't touch my face. >> it was loose! i didn't expect it to go -- just hold the bear. damn it. >> jimmy: i can't see. i can't see it. do you want me to -- what am i doing? i can't see! >> i don't know what to do. just -- >> jimmy: you sprayed milk in my eye. >> i didn't -- [ laughter ] hang on. >> jimmy: just stop touching me, please. >> hang on. >> jimmy: that's -- thank you very -- what is that? [ laughter ] >> i don't know. a monkey. >> jimmy: no! [ laughter ] >> there you go. there you go. take it. oh, there's some spilled -- i know.
jimmy's a bad daddy. he doesn't know how to hold you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you talking about? you're teaching him how to do all this stuff. how old is this little guy? >> freakin' thing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: jeff, what are you doing? how old is this guy? >> it's jammed up! >> jimmy: i don't care. >> he is 9 weeks old. he's a little black bear. and his mommy ran out of milk, so we have to give him the milk. what? >> jimmy: oh, my god. he is unbelievably cute. >> big claws. super cute. >> jimmy: wow. i love this guy. >> it's not drinking. >> jimmy: it's all right. >> there you go. there you go. >> jimmy: yeah, you're a good dad. >> you got it. >> jimmy: yeah. thank you. >> thank you. [ laughter ] now. >> jimmy: let's get this poor guy out of here. what happens with like -- where's his mommy? where's mama? >> mom's at home, but she ran out of milk. so, you have to be imprinted on by humans, and then you have to take over and you have to feed them the milk. [ audience aws ] she's looking for milk. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm not going to milk the bear. >> i just -- >> jimmy: get this out of here. >> i call it like i see it. >> jimmy: i'm not going to milk the bear. i'm not going to breastfeed a a cub. [ laughter ] all right, thank you very much for doing this, jeff. jeff, one more animal?
what do we have? this is ridiculous. >> this is it. >> jimmy: that's the guy right there. >> they cut me early. >> jimmy: i want to thank you for coming on the show. and honestly, for all of the years you came on "late night" and all that stuff. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it was nice knowing you, and good luck with -- [ laughter ] in whatever you end up doing in the future. >> was it the milk? >> jimmy: it was definitely the milk. that's what did it. jeff musial, right there, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we love you, buddy. ty dolla sign performs after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (vo) average. it's out there, convincing you that one donut hole couldn't possibly lead to another. (vo) average sets the treadmill on mosey.... or stroll... or loiter. (vo) average...has memory issues... (man) i forgot to work out. i forgot to work out. (vo) ... and memory issues. (man) my workout. (vo) but average is average. you can beat it. and it starts at gnc.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] welcome back, everybody. the good news is that jeff is still here. [ laughter and applause ] and -- >> jeff: i'm hanging out all night. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what do you mean? what's your twitter handle again so everyone can follow you? i don't know, why would they follow you? >> jeff: because it's the best thing ever? >> jimmy: what do you tweet about? selfies of you with sloths. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: selfies with sloths that way you can't talk now? >> no, it's the water. i don't know, that's not water. i don't know what it is, but jeffanimalguy. >> jimmy: what? >> jeff: jeff animal guy. >> jimmy: that's your twitter handle. >> jeff: yes. >> jimmy: great, so everyone can follow or unfollow. [ laughter ] come back next week, you guys. we have arnold schwarzenegger, jude law, bill cosby, russell crowe, joan rivers, january jones, all going to be here. and we'll have music from -- [ applause ] i know, that's amazing, right?
>> jeff: so good. >> jimmy: that's all in one week. >> jeff: so good. >> jimmy: and we have music have vampire weekend, shakira, and the national. shakira, her hips do not lie. [ cheers and applause ] >> jeff: they don't. >> jimmy: they don't lie. >> jeff: she is beautiful. >> jimmy: she's gorgeous -- yeah. >> jeff: you should book me on a show with her. >> jimmy: no, you're not booked on that show. sorry. our next guest is a a multi-talented singer, song writer, and producer. he is making his network t.v. debut with us tonight to perform his hit single, "paranoid" from the "beach house ep." please welcome ty dolla sign. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hey it's dolla sign >> hey tonight show. mustard of the beat, ho i see two of my chicks in the club ♪ ♪ and i know they know about each other i think these chicks tryna set me up ♪ ♪ maybe i'm just paranoid uh i got a bad light skin from the valley
she be in the club ♪ ♪ with no panties lil' mama she used to be my favorite but now we don't ♪ ♪ speak the same language i love my chick i could bang it my dark skin chick know how to take it ♪ ♪ i got a brother same damn red bottles and bought 'em both the same damn fragrance ♪ ♪ both of my chicks drive range rovers real spit though real spit ♪ ♪ none of my chicks can stay over both of my chicks look good good ♪ ♪ your chick look like a booger wolf i see two of my chicks in the club ♪ ♪ and i know they know about each other i think these chicks these tryna set me up ♪ ♪ maybe i'm just paranoid what we tell them ty it goes one two three -- go! ♪ ♪ yea i'm paranoid i'm trippin
i've been smoking i've been sippin ♪ ♪ i been messin' around with two women but i never made them girls my -- ♪ ♪ uh i got a bad light skin from cali she be in the club without baddies ♪ ♪ lil' mama used to be my main chick but now we don't speak the same language ♪ ♪ i love my i could bang it but my dark skin chick know how to take it she wear the ♪ ♪ red bottoms all night never heard of dolla sign bet you will now what we tell them? ♪ ♪ both of my chicks drive range rovers none of my chicks eat leftover ♪ ♪ both of my chicks look good good your chick looks like a booger wolf ♪ ♪ i see two of my in chicks the club and i know they ♪ ♪ know about each other i think these chicks tryna set me up
maybe i'm just paranoid ♪ ♪ one more time say go one two three -- go yeah i'm paranoid ♪ ♪ i'm tripping i've been smoking i've been sipping i've been messing ♪ ♪ around with two women but i never make them girls my missus i'm paranoid i'm tripping ♪ ♪ i've been smoking i've been sipping i've been messing around with two women ♪ ♪ but i never make them girls my missus i see two of my in chicks the club ♪ ♪ and i know they know about each other i think these chicks tryna set me up ♪ ♪ maybe i'm just paranoid ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! that was great. thanks, buddy. ty dolla sign.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to kevin bacon. jeff musial, and ty dolla sign. [ cheers and applause ] ann wilson, right there, oh man. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots everybody. of course we love the roots. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you so much for watching. have a great weekend, hope to see you next week! bye, bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪