i've watched bill ny the science guy today. we can determine a lot about us and where we came from because of what we're seeing on pluto. >> smooth surfaces on pluto saying those surfaces could have happened in the last 00 doctohu million years. >> right now, the picture you're seeing outside, unforcue gnatly, a lot of fog and mist. take a pick of your temperatures, 60s and 70s. >> you love pluto's forecast. >> mile nous 280 something degrees. yes. a little chillily. >> thanks for joining us tonight. have a great day tomorrow. >> bye, folks. ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- amy schumer,

ian mckellen, musical guest, alan jackson, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 291! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about, thank you very much! [ cheers and applause ] welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. welcome to "the tonight show," everybody. you're here. you made it. this is it. you're at "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here.

it's going to be a great night. we'll have fun. here's what everybody is talking about, here. some bad news for donald trump. i read that the controversial remarks he's made since he began his presidential campaign have cost his brand as much as $80 million. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers ] you can tell things are rough for trump. today he had to wipe his mouth with a napkin instead of a 20. [ laughter ] and he was like -- [ trump impression ] "this is humiliating." [ laughter ] that's right, trump's controversial statements have cost his brand as much as $80 million. so in other words, donald trump has gone from this -- >> i'm really rich. >> jimmy: to this. >> we need money. we're dying. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: we're dying! we are dying! [ applause ] the other big political news this week is that wisconsin governor scott walker became the 15th republican to announce his candidacy for president. of course, like all candidates he spends a lot of time talking about the budget and immigration. but there's something else that

he always seems to talk about. >> i went to kohl's department stores near our house and i bought something at the price it was marked at. so now i know over the years if i'm going to buy a shirt it's $29.99 i go to the rack that says, "now $19.99." i remember to get the flyer out that we got mailed to our house where if you get 15%, 20%, or if you're really lucky 30% off. tonette usually is with me. and she'll reach into her purse and pull out her kohl's cash. and next thing you know, they're paying me to buy the shirt! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he must be fun to sit next to on a long flight. $19.99, this rack says $29. pull out my kohl's bucks. [ laughter ] maybe he can go to kohl's, buy some new material. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey-oh.

of course, yesterday president obama made a statement on his historic iran nuclear deal. joe biden joined him but didn't say anything throughout the speech. which is good for joe. yeah. [ laughter ] and when the statement was over, if you listen closely, it sounded like biden had a lot on his mind. take a look. watch this. >> today's announcement marks one more chapter in the pursuit of a safer and more helpful, more hopeful world. thank you. god bless you. and god bless the united states of america. [ whispering ] >> good job. >> thank you. >> i didn't make a weird face during your speech. >> way to go. >> now can i go see "minions?" >> we'll see what michelle says. >> thanks, dad. >> wait, what? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what? [ applause ] >> steve: dad? >> jimmy: let him go see "minions." i read that shepherd ferry, the street artist responsible for president obama's "hope" poster, the very famous poster, is now facing vandalism charges

in detroit. it's pretty serious. detroit officials say the artist's spray paint caused over $9,000 worth of improvements. [ laughter ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: this is interesting here. i read that with more and more states legalizing marijuana companies are lining up to create the first marijuana breathalyzer. [ laughter ] officials say the toughest part is getting stoners to stop trying to inhale off the breathalyzer. [ laughter ] where's the carb on this thing, bro? [ laughter ] no, you exhale. [ laughter ] that's right, companies are racing to create the first breathalyzer to help authorities know if somebody is under the influence of pot. but we really don't need a a breathalyzer -- ♪ -- 'cause we can already tell. you're high. [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah. you, sitting at home next to your parents.

you're not fooling anybody. we know you're super high. [ laughter ] >> questlove: do you have allergies, dude? your eyes are red so either it's allergies or you're really high. [ laughter ] >> roots: everyone knows you're high. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: now, if anyone in your home just freaked out seeing that, they might be using marijuana. ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: zing. and finally kim kardashian went on shaquille o'neal's podcast this week and said she would not name her son a direction because, quote, north is the best. interesting. i actually didn't realize that shaq had a podcast. [ laughter ]

i'm kinda curious to listen to that conversation between shaq and kim. could we hear a clip of this? >> this is shaq podcast. it's the shaq-cast. welcome back, i'm shaq. i'm here with kim kardashian. 'sup kim? >> hi. [ laughter ] >> first question. you gonna have another kid. you gonna name your kid another direction? >> no! >> why not? >> because why add another direction? north is the best. >> no it's not. what about south? >> no! i like north better. >> what about east? >> no! >> how 'bout west? >> i don't want to name my kid west west. >> what about south west like the airplanes? >> no! >> how about south east? >> no! >> north east? >> no! >> how about east? >> you already said east. >> what about east? >> no! >> then how 'bout east? >> no! [ laughter ] >> you should name your kid east. >> no! >> what about something like east? >> jimmy: all right. i think nothing's happened. [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show, everybody. give it up for the roots, right there! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: we had a great week so far, there's more ahead. tomorrow night the hilarious bill hader will be here from "trainwreck." >> steve: yeah. come on. [ cheers and applause ] billy. >> jimmy: then on friday, we have ryan seacrest, trevor noah and tig notaro! that's a big show. [ cheers and applause ] and of course, thank you notes. don't want to miss that on friday. but first we have a fantastic show tonight. she's so funny. she's so talented. we love her. i loved, loved, loved this movie, "trainwreck." fantastic. our pal amy schumer in the house. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on! come on! >> jimmy: ooh la la. like two covers. [ cheers ] there's eight covers on this cover. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: the whole magazine is covers. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah, the whole magazine. it's 400 covers. >> steve: cover bands, cover

magazine. >> jimmy: cover magazine, yeah. [ laughter ] later in the show amy and i are going to have an emotional interview. >> steve: ooh. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: plus he's such a a great actor, one of my favorites. this new film "mr. holmes" is about sherlock holmes. it's beautifully shot. sir ian mckellen is stopping by. >> steve: come on. [ cheers and applause ] one of the greatest actors of all time. >> jimmy: my man. and we have great music. i was so happy when this got booked a couple of months ago. i'm like, "oh, yes, please." alan jackson is here, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] "angels and alcohol." oh, i love some alan jackson. guys, i think i'm a pretty easy going guy. >> steve: mm-hmm. >> jimmy: but there's one thing that really gets my goat. >> steve: what's that? >> jimmy: bad music. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: no one should listen to bad tunes. so as a service to you guys i'm about to play some real songs by real bands that i think you should avoid, in a segment called my do not play list. here we go. ♪ do not play do not play do not play these songs these songs ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: before we start, i

want you all to know that every artist and song we're about to play for you is 100% real. okay? these are actual bands and actual songs you can download them on itunes or amazon. or see if your local music store has them, they are real. but just don't listen to them. [ laughter ] let's see what's on my do not play list. maybe, you might even like them. i don't know. this first song is a single from a disco band from the '70s called veronica unlimited. >> steve: ooh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and the song is called, "what a lousy party." [ laughter ] look at the photo. it looks like they're at some sort of adult prom or something. i don't know. let's take a listen to "what a a lousy party." ♪ ♪ what a lousy party ooh what a lousy party ♪ >> jimmy: all right. stop right there. they're singing about how bad the party is. [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: it's like a mixed message. >> steve: like abba -- >> jimmy: it's a good group, but you're having fun. but it's like, "no, this is not fun." >> steve: no, a lousy party.

it's not a good party. >> jimmy: lousy, yeah. what a lousy party. >> steve: what a great party -- no. >> jimmy: no, it's not. [ laughter ] oh, this next one is by a a singer called bangs. there's bangs. [ laughter ] that's bangs right there. >> steve: is he wearing a sweat band? >> jimmy: he doesn't even have any bangs, no. [ laughter ] headband on, you can't even see his bangs. maybe if you get the double album you get to see the bangs. >> steve: yeah, you get to see the bangs. >> jimmy: let's listen to the song. it's called, "take u to da movies." ♪ >> yeah, your boy bangs. and this track dedicated to all the ladies out there who like to go to the movies. [ laughter ] especially you, girl. ♪ let me take you to da movies shawty ♪ ♪ i'm sure later on you will be my baby let's get down and ♪ >> jimmy: stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. [ laughter and applause ] terrible. he's not joking. it's a real dude. it's a real person. >> that's you. that's you. >> jimmy: it's not me making this up. it's a man named bangs. seriously, these are all real songs. he's being very descriptive.

♪ then we'll get into my car then we'll go get some popcorn ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ do you want some red vines i need change for the $20 ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ then we look for a seat these seats are all taken the one's in the front are too close ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this next album is from early '90s rapper called jazzie redd. there he is. let's take a listen to his song. it's called "i am a dope fiend." ♪ this is the story about a friend real close to me ♪ ♪ through high school junior high and elementary ♪ ♪ we stuck together like siamese twins i loved him he was my best friend ♪ ♪ but anyway he left for summer and then he came back ♪ ♪ but something was different he was hooked on crack ♪ >> jimmy: all right, stop. [ laughter and applause ] that took a weird turn. >> steve: that's a real fast turn. [ laughter ] i guest that's what happens. >> jimmy: that's his best

friend. >> steve: yeah, his best -- like siamese twins. >> jimmy: he's like siamese twins. >> steve: yeah, and he goes through, junior high, and -- >> jimmy: elementary. he went away for the summer, came back. he's hooked on crack. >> steve: hooked on crack. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's just keep going, here. ♪ and when i asked he thought i was joking he laughed and said he wasn't smoking ♪ ♪ so one day he came over and fell asleep i kind of stood over him real quietly ♪ >> jimmy: wait -- [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: he came home -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> steve: and he's standing over his buddy. >> jimmy: my buddy i've been friends for a long time. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: he comes over to my house. >> steve: what did he do when he comes over? >> jimmy: took a nap. >> steve: right. and then the other guy -- [ laughter ] he comes up, stands over him quietly. what kind of crack is he addicted to is what i want to know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. >> steve: oh, crack the drug, okay. >> jimmy: standing over him. >> steve: standing over him quietly. >> steve: comes over, falls asleep and then he stands -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's just keep going. ♪ i couldn't believe it happened to thee until i heard him saying this

in his dreams ♪ ♪ i am a dope fiend [ laughter ] ♪ and i need drugs [ laughter ] ♪ i just bought 'em from chico yo man who's that the neighborhood thug ♪ >> jimmy: stop right there, stop. [ laughter and applause ] he's interviewing him in his sleep. >> steve: in his dreams, not in his sleep, in his dream. so -- >> jimmy: but his buddy is going, "who's chico?" and he's like, "oh, he's the neighborhood thug." [ laughter ] >> steve: but he heard him saying this in his dream. not in his sleep. >> jimmy: i don't know. i might like this song, it has a good message. >> steve: yeah, it has a good message, don't do crack. >> jimmy: if you have a friend with a drug problem, just wait until they fall asleep and then confront them. [ laughter ] all right we're down to our last one here. this is by my man dominic. >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: the album is "ready for dominic." [ laughter ] looks like he's waiting for a a friend to come out of a a 7-eleven with some snacks or something. [ laughter ] let's listen to "favor boy george." ♪ ♪ yo oh oh boy

boy boy boy ♪ ♪ boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy come for me now ♪ ♪ lord [ scat singing ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: actually, that was pretty good. i don't mind that. can i get a little beat? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ pass the dutchy from the left hand side pass the dutchy from the left hand side ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: that's all we have for "do not play." if you have an album or song you think we should use on our next "do not play list,' we want to see it. send a suggestion to our blog, at donotplay@tonightshow.com. we'll be right back with amy schumer! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a a very funny and talented, talented woman who wrote and stars in the new movie "trainwreck," which is in theaters this friday. here is her on the cover of "glamour," all right. i showed you those three covers. but then, we have exclusive. this is her in -- this is "gq," ready? i mean, come on. [ laughter and applause ] come on. that's the best. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome amy schumer! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: amy schumer! >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hey. little ole me? >> what, this old thing?

thank you! and thank you guys, for playing my favorite song. >> jimmy: yeah. >> hi, quest. >> questlove: hi, amy. >> we have history. >> i can't. your hand is so gross. like, it's so gross to look at! >> jimmy: you're not supposed to look at it. don't look at it, though. >> you hurt your hand in the shape of the shocker. like, i think that's really -- that's inappropriate. coincidence? [ laughter ] don't cover it. it's fine. it's fine. >> jimmy: it's not fine. i'm not -- >> it's just so gross! >> jimmy: all right, well then, well, stop making me -- >> all right, sorry. sorry. >> jimmy: amy, since you've been on our show, and i just -- you're just skyrocketing. you are, like, the hottest, biggest thing. >> because of you. >> jimmy: it has nothing to do with me at all, but all you. gosh, you've just been hitting home runs. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you seem like you're handling this pretty well. how are you handling the success? are you freaking out at all? are you going crazy? are you -- are you different in any way?

>> i would say i'm handling it like a complete champion. [ laughter ] am i different? i've gotten better looking. [ laughter ] my personality has improved. no. yeah, i'm just all these fancy things. this is my first time going to any awards and famous people want to talk to me. like, i -- well, they don't but now, like, i'm allowed to talk to them. you know, like -- >> jimmy: that's a better way to put it. >> that's the truth. like, i was at the "time" most influential people of the year. the "time 100." and so, there are all these people, like, ebola fighters. like, people who are making a a real difference. but i wanted to talk to bradley cooper. [ laughter ] like, he's made a difference for me, so -- [ laughter ] i'm like, "oh, my god, you save lives? cool. bradley!" and like, whenever i see -- i've seen him at a couple of things. i always harass him. i'm just like, "bradley!" like, to make my sister laugh, i shout his name. and so, i went over to him and then i just was like, "hey, sorry i'm always shouting your name and i talked about you on 'letterman.'" and i try to get out of there, because i feel very uncomfortable talking to

somebody that handsome. like, i'm fine right now, but like -- [ laughter and applause ] ♪ stop. jimmy, no! no! you know i'm -- that is just -- i can't. i can't. if you had lost a finger, it would be such a cool story. but this is not even cool. so anyway, i'm talking to bradley, and he's like -- he's, like, really charismatic. and he, like, stares in your eyes and asks you questions, which, like, no man does, you know? that's the trick, you guys. just, like, half pay attention to what we say and -- >> jimmy: that's all you need. >> that's it. >> jimmy: that's it. >> like, "tell me about your sister." and i'm like, so i left the interaction and i was kind of like, "am i dating bradley cooper?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow! that's amazing! >> i was like, "amy cooper?" i started singing that song -- you remember? ♪ cooper you know what i'm talking about?

>> jimmy: no. >> no? not enough? okay, so -- the band is like, "tell your jokes, clown." so i go home, and i, like, change my status update on facebook, like, "in a a relationship." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, of course. >> because it's, like, a new day. and then, i -- then the next time i had to do, like, a sad gig at an indian reservation casino. you know, when do stand up there? it was somewhere like reno. you know, it was, like, dark. so i go, and i'm watching the correspondence dinner. it was the next night. he was there with the girl he's actually dating, who is arena shaikh. do you know who that is? >> jimmy: yeah. >> here's me in my, like, kind of, like, sad nurse outfit and arena is -- it looks like a panther and, like, a leopard mated and just made, like, the most bangable human you could possibly -- she's like from russia, like, a a little bit -- and she's there, like she talks like --

sounds like she's just, like, having an orgasm when she -- [ laughter ] and i'm like -- i'm like, "but what about me, bradley? [ laughter ] what about me?" >> jimmy: all right, so -- >> it's sad. >> jimmy: no, it's not sad. it's good for both of you. you're a very person, and you should be around to going to these events. >> yeah. >> jimmy: let bradley do his own thing. you don't need that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: is there other celebrities that come up to you that surprise you, like, "oh, i didn't know they are into me"? >> yes. i was at the "glamour" women of the year awards. and katie couric comes up. yeah, i love her. she is like, "i just love you. i love humor." [ laughter ] when, like, anyone -- would you ever be like, "humor?" [ laughter ] so, i'm like, okay. >> jimmy: i don't think i would probably say that. >> yeah, no. >> jimmy: i love humor. >> so she's like -- i'd be like, "i want good humor, like, about the ice cream, but that's about it." katie is like, "i'm going to

sit next to you at dinner." so, at dinner, it was a good table. it was colbert, stephen colbert. then katie, me, and then, mindy kaling. >> jimmy: fantastic. >> it was a fantastic table. ooh! ooh! >> jimmy: we want to be at that table. >> everybody did. i wanted to be there. and i was there, and so -- mindy and i were engaged, like, we never talked about it, but, what i'm now thinking of is a a bread-off. like, we were just kind of seeing, like, who would eat more bread. you know, it was like -- like, we were just side eyeing each other and like, "i'm comfortable in my skin." [ laughter ] i don't care about hollywood, right? so we were, like -- and i won. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: congratulations. >> i won. so anyway, katie is like, "oh, my god, my husband's here. like, he wasn't invited. this is so embarrassing." they're newly married i guess. she's like, "should i go talk to him?" and i'm like, "i don't know, katie couric. like, that's your husband. i guess." and i look and she left her phone. she left her phone open to texts from him. so, i know, so --

don't worry. i didn't do anything, except i picked it up and i just, without thinking texted him, "i want to have anal tonight." and i sent it. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy, come back! jimmy, come back! i know! i like, i didn't even think. i just pick up the phone, and it happened so fast. i showed mindy and i go, "look what happened." she's like, "what do you mean what happened? you did that. [ laughter ] you did that." and i show colbert and he is on the floor laughing. [ laughter ] like on the floor. then katie comes back like 90 seconds later and her and her husband were like, "so we're leaving." like, i don't know why he wants to leave. [ laughter and applause ] she loves humor! she loves humor. >> jimmy: she loves humor. she loves humor. that's a good joke. pal, i've got to say the movie "trainwreck," i loved it from

top to bottom. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you're fantastic. congratulations on writing it, not only starring in it and being amazing in it but also writing it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: writing this thing is amazing. >> jimmy: uh, congratulations. and i'm telling you, the end, the last scene -- i'm telling you. you're just fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i just think you're so awesome. >> thank you. >> jimmy: congratulations on all this. >> thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: i want to show a a clip. here is amy schumer. you're talking to -- brie larson's your sister? so you're talking to your sister in the scene. i think so. is this the baby shower? >> yes. the baby shower. >> jimmy: okay, very good. this is amy schumer in "trainwreck." let's take a look. >> just breathe. it's fine. >> i want some kids. >> amy. >> like, right now. >> people talk about that. >> not really. >> it's fine. >> i don't know anyone that talks about that. >> he's great. it's normal. i think aaron's great. i really like him. >> can you tell the members of heaven's gate in there to relax? >> no, he's too nice. >> he's not too nice. >> yes, he is. he's too nice for me. you know it. >> no. he's the perfect amount of nice

that you deserve. >> yeah, but you know what? there's deal breakers across the board with him. like, the sex is good. it's, like, really good. it's great, but it's not the best i've ever had, you know? >> you're right. you don't want best sex that you've ever had guy. >> no. >> you want to stay with the best you've ever had guy. >> no, you don't. that's a creepy guy. you don't want to be with that guy. best sex you've ever had guy is in >> yeah. but i've been thinking about maybe reaching out to him. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: "trainwreck"! you are a trainwreck. more with amy schumer when we come back, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're here with the wonderful, the beautiful amy schumer. oh, my gosh. amy. [ cheers and applause ] you're not just a comedienne, but you're also an actress. >> yes. >> jimmy: now, that means that you're in touch with many emotions. many emotions. would you say that that is true? >> yes, i would, jimmy. i would say that's true. >> jimmy: well, let's see how emotional we can get. it's time for "emotional interview."

♪ emotional interview ♪ >> jimmy: now, here's how it works. we're going to have a normal conversation with each other, except, every so often we're gonna hear this ding sound. [ dings ] and when we hear that, we'll be given an emotion or situation that we have to act out as we keep talking. sound good? >> okay, yeah. i think i understand. >> jimmy: here we go. what was it like having your first starring role in a movie? >> you wouldn't really understand, but just like having everyone on set respect -- [ laughter ] how can i explain this in a a way -- [ laughter ] -- that you'll get it. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. because i saw the movie, and it was almost like, i saw your thing. and it was, like, a trufault type -- oh, you probably don't know who that is. i'm thinking of a director you might know. somebody from pixar or something. i don't know. [ laughter ] anyway, it must have been fun for you. but you're very a very pretty

girl. >> oh, my god, are you like -- are you saying that because you feel, like, "oh, like, like she's out there." >> jimmy: i was saying, when you go to the movies -- when you go to the movies, is there a jukebox in the movie? >> jimmy, like of course there's a jukebox. it's a movie! it's, like, a movie! >> jimmy: i just said that. i'm the one who said the jukebox is in the movie. >> i said it, then you said it. [ imitates vomiting ] oh, my god. let me hold your hair back. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> thank you. >> jimmy: ooh, a great movie. >> i love this. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> it's like, it's a desk, and you're behind it. >> jimmy: i saw your movie, and i was like, "oh, my god. this is a "trainwreck." >> yeah. >> jimmy: it really is. [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. i'd like it a lot. >> did you like the movie,

like -- >> jimmy: yeah, i did. >> i'd love to be in another movie. but i'm just so scared. okay, so like honestly, i'm not someone who's afraid to fly. because, first of all, like, i trust the pirates, like -- they have to have so many hours of pirating before they even get in the plane. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and i like when the pirates like stand in the back and they like meet you before they fly you. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> you know? >> jimmy: the pirate? is that right? >> yeah. i have such a pirate fantasy. like, okay. >> jimmy: like johnny depp? >> they invite you up. no. like leonardo dicaprio in "the aviator." like, what are you talking about? when you go to the pirates' cockpit.

>> jimmy: i didn't see "the aviator." >> when you go -- [ dinging ] >> jimmy: yeah, okay. you go to the cockpit. oh, i remember one time i flew this plane, and swear this is a a real story. next to me, there's no one in the chair and i could have swear i saw a ghost the whole time. right next to me and i was like -- [ dinging ] oh, my gosh! i can't believe there's a a ghost! here! >> wait, are you being for real right now? >> jimmy: yeah! i couldn't believe it. i go, "oh, my god! that's a ghost right there!" it's my first time seeing a a ghost! >> wait, your tie. i like -- i love it. like, were you wearing that the whole time? >> jimmy: i don't even know! amy schumer is here, you guys! that's an emotional interview. "trainwreck" is in theaters this friday. go see "trainwreck." we'll be right back with ian mckellen, everybody. amy schumer. ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an amazing actor. oh, i love him so much. his new movie "mr. holmes" opens in theaters on friday. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome sir ian mckellen! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the kiss of good luck. the good luck smooch. >> yes, that's right. >> jimmy: the good luck kiss. >> do you remember? >> jimmy: i do -- how could i ever forget? >> i know. you know me, i've always remembered. >> jimmy: you were my first. absolutely. >> but not, however, your last. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you actually sent out a tweet. i was going to show you this picture when we first started "the tonight show." you sent me the nicest tweet.

it said, "dearest jimmy, remember me, another big kiss, and luck from ian mckellen. you kissing me on "weekend update." [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: i think you were playing -- you were playing maggie smith or something? >> maggie smith. but don't tell her, because if she ever found out --. >> jimmy: no, she'd be very mad. absolutely yeah, no. thank you for coming on our show. this is our show, thank you for finally coming on. >> i know. it's wonderful, isn't it? >> jimmy: i'm so happy to have you on. you're the best! [ cheers and applause ] >> i've been watching this show ever since i first came to america in 1967. it's always been my favorite thing, must be in to watch "the tonight show." and one day, i got to be on it with johnny carson. >> jimmy: you got to meet him? >> in 1986. george carlin was the first guest. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i was the last guest. and then, there was another guest in between called flat nose. wonderful act. and i was front of house watching because i intrigued how the whole show was put together. and flat nose came on and did his act, and johnny was so taken with it that he got the

act to be repeated two or three or four times. and in the end i was bumped, i wasn't allowed to be on the show at all. [ audience aws ] so it's -- i know. so it's very nice to come back and do the show with you. >> jimmy: you were never on the show? >> no. and -- do you know who flat nose was? i think your team know who he was. >> jimmy: we actually got a a clip of him. this is the episode of "the tonight show with johnny carson" that you were supposed to be on. >> the real show, yeah. >> jimmy: let's see "flat nose." this is johnny carson on "the tonight show" and ian mckellen. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i should mention that ian mckellen said he'll come back with us on december 10th, because we ran a little long tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you were bumped by a a guy climbing up a tree. yeah, that's a talent there. >> i'm very glad to tell you that flat nose is long since retired. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, we gotta bring out -- he has a son,

little flat nose, ladies and gentlemen. ♪ >> there's on to me. let's talk about your film "mr. holmes." >> oh, please, yes. wonderful. >> jimmy: first of all, i love "sherlock holmes", and so anything "sherlock holmes," i love to watch. but this is a different take on "sherlock holmes." >> yeah. do you know there have been over a hundred actors have played "sherlock holmes" in various versions on stage, on tv, on film. but this one is unlike any other, because he's 93 years old, he's retired, and he's looking back at the past and trying to remember the last case that he didn't really solve. it sent him into retirement. he's been living with his bees down by the sea, and hasn't done a job for 30 years. but now, in this movie, he gets to solve the problem, and the problem is actually his own heart. and it's revealed that sherlock isn't just all brain. he's got a heart like all of us. so, it's a sweet story with a a happy ending. >> jimmy: it's beautiful -- and, gosh, it is beautifully shot. i was telling you backstage, bill condon is the director? >> that's right, the director, yes. >> jimmy: who do uh -- what did

he do? >> "dream girls." >> jimmy: and "gods and monsters." >> "gods and monsters" with me. >> jimmy: he's doing the new "beauty and the beast." >> "beauty and the beast," which i'm in. >> jimmy: oh, you're in that as well? >> yes, i play a clock. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: doing business. absolutely. >> tick tock. "lord of the rings." "lord of the rings." >> jimmy: thank you. i didn't want to make the reference, but i'm glad you did. thank you, yeah. but i've got to say, he shot this thing so fantastic. and it's just beautiful. oh my -- where did you film this? >> well, it was down on the south coast of england. and it was in a beautiful house, which you can hire. you can go -- bed and breakfast. it's the family home of the penn family, who -- william penn of pennsylvania. so, it should be on every american's route. >> jimmy: it is beautiful. when you see this film, you're just gonna fall in love with. there's like a train going through at the beginning with a a puff of smoke coming out. it looks so like a storybook. you're like, "i wanna move there, oh my gosh." but it's a fantastic film. you guys are gonna wanna check this out, here's a clip. here's ian mckellen in "mr. holmes."

please take a look at this. >> what possible motive could that german woman have had to kill anne? that night, i searched for something to jog my memory of the actual case. and there it was. a picture. you know, a few years ago, i could have told you everything about the woman in that photograph. certainly, i'd recall what had became of her, whether she was victim or culprit. but that night -- i'm confusing my brain, damnit. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you've become a a different human being. it's amazing. you are amazing, as always. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: come back on the show whenever, whenever, whenever you want. i love you. sir ian mckellen, right there. "mr. holmes" opens in theaters on friday. alan jackson performs for us next. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: our musical guest tonight is a grammy award winning country superstar who has sold over 60 million albums during his career. [ cheers and applause ] we are honored to have him here.

he's here to perform the title track off his new album "angels and alcohol." please welcome alan jackson! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thank you, jimmy. ♪ ♪ ♪ you can't mix angels and alcohol ♪ ♪ i don't think god meant for them to get along ♪ ♪ when it takes control you can't love no one at all ♪ ♪ you can't mix angels and alcohol you can't blend whiskey

with a good woman's love ♪ ♪ they don't go together and love's already hard enough ♪ ♪ you think you can handle how it feels or what it does ♪ ♪ you can't blend whiskey with a good woman's love ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ you can't chase lonely with a bottle of wine ♪ ♪ it might ease the heartache for one short piece of time ♪

♪ in the end you have to face what's hiding in your mind ♪ ♪ you can't chase lonely with a bottle of wine ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ you can't mix angels and alcohol an angel once loved me and i traded it all ♪

♪ i let the bottle drive my life into a wall you can't mix angels and alcohol ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you can't do it. you can't mix them, man. alan jackson right there! "angels and alcohol" is out july 17th. we'll be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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second his room is ready, ya know what he becomes? great proposal! let's talk more over golf. great. how about over tennis? even better. a game changer! the ready for you alert, only at lq.com. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to amy schumer, ian mckellen, alan jackson, once again, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] "angels and alcohol." and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. they're here every night. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you so much for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, paul rudd, from "hudson valley ballers," writers paula pell, and james anderson, music from anderson east, featuring the 8g band. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, here he is, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night."