tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC July 25, 2015 12:37am-1:39am PDT
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight michael douglas, comedian jim gaffigan, music from nate ruess, featuring the 8g band. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, here he is, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight?
[ cheers and applause ] that is good to hear. that is good to hear. everybody, very exciting. 2016, we are going to have a presidential election. and it seems like every day new people are announcing that they want that job. [ light laughter ] that says a lot about this country, so many people want that job. wisconsin governor scott walker this morning officially announced his 2016 presidential campaign. 2016 of course refers to the number of white guys now running for president. [ laughter ] finally up to 2,016. [ applause ] very exciting. very exciting news. after 17 hours of negotiations, european leaders agreed early this morning to a tentative deal to resolve the debt crisis in greece. 17 hours, or as greeks call that, a work week. [ laughter and applause ] "stavros! stavros, you're 37! why are you still working? retire, stavros!"
poland international -- very exciting news -- portland international airport is now allowing passengers who are flying to destinations within the state of oregon to carry marijuana on their plane. you're flying within oregon, you can carry marijuana on the plane. you know who is really happy about that? cinnabon. [ laughter ] you laugh now. if you can get in on the ground floor of the cinnabon at portland international airport. donald trump's miss usa pageant was last night. the title went to the contestant who was the meanest to miss mexico. [ audience oohs ] [ laughter ] because you see, he recently -- he -- he recently has been saying things. [ laughter ] one of the contestants during last night's miss usa pageant said she wished oprah winfrey was eligible to replace
alexander hamilton on the $10 bill. to which oprah responded, "they make ten dollar bills?" [ laughter ] "for why? what do you use that for?" if you saw this, the singer, arianna grande -- did you guys see this? singer ariana grande got in trouble recently after video surfaced of her licking donuts in a store. imagine that. a donut getting licked by a munchkin. [ laughter ] want to make sure you're all imagining that. an oklahoma woman was arrested last week after pulling a knife on a group of teens in a taco bell. she pulled a knife on a group of teens in a taco bell. it is the first time anyone has ever used silverware at a taco bell. [ laughter ]
it's a historic moment. [ applause ] this is exciting. israel has launched a new farsi language twitter account to try and reach out to iranian citizens. because nothing appeals to iranians like an e-mail that says "israel is now following you." [ laughter ] because you see -- amazing but true story. a pennsylvania man was arrested on friday after he allegedly flew across the country to have sex with a horse. [ audience ohs ] said the man, "it was a misunderstanding. i said i wanted to get off in philly." [ audience ohs ] very interesting. my head writer alex baze and i were going back and forth on whether to tell that joke. [ laughter ] me saying, "oh, yeah." [ laughter ]
and him saying, "no." [ laughter ] i said, "trust me, this is gonna --" [ laughter ] "gonna be a real homerun ball for us." [ laughter ] see, 'cause "filly" means lady horse. [ laughter ] it's also short for philadelphia. and man oh man when, that audience puts it together. [ laughter ] standing o. and you have proved me wrong. [ laughter and applause ] hey, look, the important thing is, whether you like the joke or not, people are out there trying to have sex with horses. that's the good news. [ laughter ] and finally, the popularity of the "50 shades of grey" book series has been credited for the rise in young women watching pornography. and pornography has been credited for the rise in young men. ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ]
♪ ♪ >> seth: how we doing, 8g band? so lovely to see you guys. welcome back. we are so happy to be back. we have just come off a two week vacation. a two week break here at the show. a hiatus if you will. it is so lovely to be back. we also all had a wonderful time. i, myself, i went to italy with my wife. and we had a wonderful trip. we went to the dolomites, which is a mountain range in northern italy. we wore back packs, we went for a week long hike in italy. it was really wonderful. it is so peaceful, there are very few people around. and you see people on the trail, and 90% of them i would say are italians. and when they pass you, they all say "bongiorno!" or "ciao!" and i couldn't figure out what to say back. because when i said "bongiorno" or "ciao," i would feel like a phony who was pretending to be something he wasn't. and i felt when i said "hello," you could tell they would respond with, "oh, great,
americans." [ laughter ] and not that we were behaving in a bad way, i just felt that they saw us as a harbinger of terrible things to come. [ laughter ] so then i came up with the perfect thing to say. i decided every time we passed somebody i would say "hello" as though english was my second language. [ laughter ] so we passed people, and i go "hello!" [ laughter ] and it was great. because if they were italian, they would think i was an italian person who thought they were american, and they were like, "hey, what the hell?" [ laughter ] oh! i am so jealous of people that can speak and understand italian. it's like music. and it is so great, because usually when you're on vacation, when you overhear people that speak the language you know, you can tell how irritating they are. but with italy, everything sounds like music. you pass people like -- [ imtating italian language ] "bongiorno. bellisima. bella." you're just like, "everything is great."
whereas every time, the few times you pass americans, it seems like americans on vacation are always looking for a member of their family, just this beautiful vista, and someone's like, "david!" [ laughter ] "where's david?" with that said, we were pretty far north. so we were near austria. so there were like 90% italian, and 10% germans. and i will say, you have -- as far as beautiful languages, you have italy way up here, and then you have english, and then there's german. [ laughter ] somebody's like, "klaus!" [ laughter ] [ imitating german language ] i'm really ashamed. we were -- we had wonderful italian meals every night. and i did -- one night, the waitress asked how they were, and i did -- i did this, and as i did, i was like, "oh, what am i doing?" i went -- [ laughter ] i've never done that before in my life. my wife looked at me like, "what are you doing?"
i'm like, "i don't know, i just got nervous. i got nervous. the food was so good that this made sense to me." [ laughter ] "do you like the bread?" but she shamed me. she shamed me. the other thing, if you stay -- we stayed in these -- the only way to describe them is they're called rifugis. they're like mountain huts. and sometimes my wife and i would have a room to ourselves, but other times it would be a room with four bunk beds and you'd have to sleep with strangers, which is super weird, not great. but one day we were out, finished our meal, our dinner, because you eat at the huts, and we were outside. and there was this solitary guy, sort of a younger guy, sitting alone, reading a book. and he looked lonely. he just looked like a lonely person. and my wife and i waited, and finally i said, "hey, how are you? are you enjoying the hike?" and he started talking to us, and he was israeli, and he was really excited because he didn't speak german or italian. he's like, "i haven't talked to anybody for five days.
it's so nice to have a conversation again, this is wonderful. thank you for saying hello." really lovely guy. and then it turned out he was in our bunk room. and that night he was the only person in our bunk room with us. and he left before we woke up to go on his hike. next morning we woke up, he left a note on the bed stand next to our bunk, and it said something along the lines of, "when a stranger says hello, it teaches you to smile again. [ audience aws ] thank you, whatever his name, whatever it was." [ light laughter ] it was written in a way -- the handwriting was such that i got the sense that had we not said hello, he would have murdered us in our sleep. [ laughter ] so happy we said hello. or he would have murdered one of us, and then cut the throat, and then put the note -- [ audience ohs ] here. and then the one that hadn't been murdered -- hopefully me -- [ laughter ] it doesn't matter, but i guess
all things being equal, neither, but then anyway i would wake up hypothetically, let's say, and again it doesn't matter which one. but i'd wake up and go, "oh, no! i wish it was me!" [ laughter ] and then i take the note out, it would say, "you should have said hello." but it was wonderful, and i will say, my wife is a wonderful travel companion. and after telling that story, i'm just glad she doesn't watch the show. we have a wonderful, wonderful show for you tonight. we came back with a winner. from the new film "ant-man," he is a legend. michael douglas is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] how about that! how about that for a night to be here. also, he is one of the greatest working comedians today. he is on a new show on tvland, fittingly titled "the jim gaffigan show." jim gaffigan is here. [ cheers and applause ] and we have music from the wonderful musician nate ruess
tonight. [ cheers and applause ] nate ruess is gonna be here. it's gonna be great. like i mentioned to everybody, we have been on vacation for the past few weeks. one of the down sides -- one of the few down sides to taking a break is you miss -- when you do that, you miss a lot of great news stories. but don't worry. we at "late night" have found a way to recap everything that happened in the two weeks we were off the show. so please join us as we "we didn't start the fire" the last two weeks of news. 8g band, take it away. ♪ ♪ supreme court obamacare macy's fire crazy hair ♪ ♪ "wall street journal" hacked prison break got 'em back ♪ ♪ obama sings amazing grace subway has a new disgrace ♪ ♪ "minions" got a lot of dough dead heads got their final show ♪ ♪ we were on vacation there were jokes we liked 'em but we couldn't write 'em ♪ ♪ we were on vacation there was newsy
but we couldn't usey ♪ ♪ cosby and his quaaludes marriages for gay dudes ♪ ♪ chris christie what's his name they're both running now ♪ ♪ harper lee and comic-con grande got her flip out on ♪ ♪ iran deal's a no go belgians in the congo ♪ ♪ we were on vacation there were jokes we liked 'em but we couldn't write 'em ♪ ♪ we were on vacation we were lazy but the news was crazy ♪ ♪ politics rebel flag this thing is such a drag took it down back up again took it down for good ♪ ♪ greece defaulted on its debt california still not wet ♪ ♪ soccer's best is u.s.a. what else do i have to say ♪ ♪ we were on vacation there were jokes we liked 'em but we couldn't write 'em ♪ ♪ we were on vacation stuff was happenin' while we were nappin' ♪ >> seth: we'll be right back with more "late night." stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
♪ stella artois host beautifully (♪ "more smiles" by the jump ups ♪) "i want more yes, more please, i want more fun, more style, i want more love, more smiles, i want more." j-e-l-l-o ♪ digiorno? or delivery? taste for yourself why the shortest distance between you and a delicious, fresh-baked pizza, is your oven. thankfully, it's not delivery. it's digiorno. thankfully, it's not delivery. with revolutionary hanex-temp technologyocks are designed to respond to your body temperature to help keep you cool. let's put it to the test. hey dad! emily? ready? wait! no! wait! slow down a little! oow! watch out for the speed bumps! it speeds evaporation to help keep you cool and dry. hanes x-temp technology for men and women.
because when you're cool, you're comfortable. so good. bring us your aching and sleep deprived. bring us those who want to feel well rested. aleve pm. the only one to combine a sleep aid... plus the 12 hour pain relieving strength of aleve. be a morning person again, with aleve pm. everyone's raving! age defy from clairol the secret? superior gray coverage that leaves hair looking 10 years younger age defy from clairol only pull 'n' peel let's you pull it, peel it, play it. fun never tasted so good with chewy, fruity pull 'n' peel candy from twizzlers. ♪ to steady betty. to steady betty. fire it up! ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our first guest is a two time academy award winner who has starred in classic films like "wall street," "fatal attraction" and "basic instinct." his next movie "ant-man" opens in theaters and imax 3-d this friday. let's take a look. >> in the right hand, the relationship between man and the suit is symbiotic. the suit has power. the man harnesses that power. you need to be skillful, agile, and above all, you need to be fast. you should be able to shrink and grow on a dime. your size always suits your needs. now dive through the key-hole, scott. you charge big, you dive small, then you emerge big. ♪ >> ow! ah! ow! [ laughter ] >> seth: please welcome michael douglas! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
awesome. >> thank you. thank you very much. >> seth: what an honor to have you here. >> my pleasure. so, where you been the last couple weeks? >> seth: i've been in italy. [ laughter ] so, this is the first time you've done a super hero film. >> yeah. first time i've done any kind of green screen special effects kind of movie, yeah. >> seth: and is this true? it's the first movie your kids have been excited that you're in? [ laughter ] >> that's true, too. mind you, my kids are 14 and 12, so there's a large part of my resume that they have not seen. >> seth: right. [ laughter ] >> so for a long time, you know, catherine, their mom was the actress and i made pancakes. >> seth: got it. so this is a big deal now. >> this was a tremendous deal. my son turned into like a 14-year-old agent, you know he's looking he says, "dad, dad, you don't understand. this is big in your career. this is big. [ laughter ]
this is a whole new audience for you. my friends they may even want to go see one of your movies." [ laughter ] >> seth: now i, i remember seeing, when i was younger, "romancing the stone," which is a great movie for kids that age. >> thank you. yes. [ cheers and applause ] yes, they've seen "romancing the stone." they've seen a couple of movies. but, when i was telling the story about the fact that you haven't really seen a lot of my movies, yeah, i've seen some of your movies. oh, really? what have you seen? i've seen "fatal attraction." i've seen "basic instinct." >> seth: oh no. >> i said, "what?" [ laughter ] i said, "what do you mean you saw 'basic instinct?'" >> seth: well, i guess a 14-year-old can get their hands on "basic instinct" in this day and age. >> in a manner of speaking. >> seth: yeah, exactly. right? so what did they think? did they have anything to say to you about that? >> we didn't know. because he realized once it slips out, somewhere, somehow, you know pay per view, whatever you can get. you've seen it, he back tracks very quickly. >> seth: got it. >> you know, he said, "well maybe i didn't. i'm not sure." [ laughter ] oh, yeah.
so you remember sharon stone? no, i don't. >> seth: i stopped before she showed up. i just watched your scenes, dad. >> right, exactly. >> seth: you, so you've been acting for 45 years. this is your first super hero movie. was it a thrilling to do this kind of special effects movie? >> it's so cool. it is. well, you know, i was always some good friends of mine, danny devito, jack nicholson, the penguin, the joker. in truth, no one ever asked me to do one. [ light laughter so i listened to them a little jealously and all of that, and to be part of the marvel family which is pretty amazing, they're really incredible. but how often do you get the chance to talk to an ant on your shoulder? >> seth: yeah. >> you know, i mean, and they had like four units shooting. we would had -- be the first unit with the actors, like us. the second unit was the stunt guys. the third unit was the green screen, special effects, and between shots i would walk around to the different units. and the fourth unit was the
macro ant point of view, which was just incredible. you see the movie, just phenomenal. and they're very smart, these marvel guys, you can only get so big and so strong and so steroid up before you got to get small. >> seth: uh huh. >> you got to get small. >> seth: and it's a very, i heard you say though you're a little jealous of paul rudd. is that because you didn't have as much action? >> well partially. sure. [ laughter ] but i mean i say humorously, because i adore him but paul was involved with co-writing of the script. and as we went to a couple auditions, i found myself getting more and more plot dialogue, more and more explaining things than everything else, and i go on learning these lines for, you know, five minute speeches, and paul would end the scene with a little deda bop. and get a huge laugh. [ light laughter ] i'm working my ass off, he comes in here for the killer, you know? >> seth: right, just things you do at the end. >> yeah, zings me right in at the end.
it's not fair. >> seth: when you do a film like this, you have to again, a marvel film, you're doing so much press. so many junkets. travel the world, and i imagine one of the big things with a movie like this is secrecy. you probably can't give too much away. is it pressure to travel and talk about the film before it comes out? >> it's pressure in terms of just exhaustion and jet lag. we had our first screening premier in los angeles. i was in europe. i came to los angeles to do that for five days. and then from there had to go back to london just before now, another junket. the days of jet lag. we finally had the premier in london, and we were leaving the next day to come back here to new york. i was trying -- wasn't asleep, i was trying to get to sleep. i took a couple of pills to get some sleep. and i couldn't, and i woke up i took one more. to make a -- [ laughter ] make a long story short, we're on the plane and i don't remember packing.
[ laughter ] i don't remember -- i turned to catherine, i said, "honey, this morning you got up, you looked cross-eyed, you looked completely cross-eyed at me and you started to give, to try to say the secret to the movie. all the sudden you started screaming 'spoiler alert, spoiler alert!'" [ laughter ] spoiler alert. i lost my wallet, my passport. she said, "the only funny thing that happened that morning." what is spoiler alert? i realized the whole junket time, this is i've learned this now, spoiler alert, so you don't give away the secret. >> seth: yeah, and now another place hard not to give away a secret, you went last year to comic-con for the first time. >> seth, i want to talk you about that. >> seth: okay good, cause, i was at the comic-con this weekend. >> i'm sure you are. you didn't talk about that in your -- >> seth: no, i had to talk about italy. >> let me ask you, did you wear a rain coat when you went there? >> seth: no, i dress like a
normal person. why do you say rain coat? >> i don't know seth. >> seth: was that your quest away at comic-con? >> well, i was -- >> seth: remember, this is your bait. >> i know it is. i'll be careful on that. i know, i just anticipated like 14, 15-year-old kids, you know. and i realize of course that you were probably the youngest guy there. >> seth: yeah, there are -- [ laughter ] >> they're middle aged and my age even and all those costumes. i wasn't a comic guy. i was lone ranger, hop along cassidy. flash laro. >> seth: okay. >> you know, cisco kid. >> seth: you need to go to cowboy con. that's where, you'll fit right in. [ laughter ] >> right. >> seth: i will say, you walk around the floor of the convention, and there are a lot of older gentlemen dressed like batman. and you think if this was really batman, i'd think gotham would be in serious trouble. [ laughter ] i'm thinking it would not be a good time. >> yeah, but it is a phenomenon.
i can't believe it. i did my homework for "ant-man," which i didn't realize that my character hank pym was o of the people who created the avengers. >> seth: yeah. >> and so, when i got the script, they sent me like two years of ant-man comics, so i get a little bit of a back story. i was really impressed how much character are actually in these things. >> seth: marvel's done a great job with that over the years. with the panels, you need to do that research. 'cause when they do the q and a, people don't say did you fun during the movie, they immediately start going encyclopedic with the questions. >> i keep the little cheat sheet on my hand. >> seth: one of the other great effects in this film, there are all these great effects, but there's a flashback, and instead of you, they do cg --is it cgi to make you look 30 years younger? >> cgi. they make you 30 years younger. there's a scene, i got ready for it, this kind of tech guy comes up, starts to putting pen points all over my face. i said, "what are doing?" [ laughter ] >> seth: nobody warned you what this guy was gonna do?
>> what is this? he goes, "you'll see." and then makes you 30 years younger. i do the scene, and then they go in, and they make you -- i'm going, "this is fantastic. 'romancing the stone,' here we go!" >> seth: redo them all. >> going right back, like we're going back to do them all over again. by then they have a holograph of myself. i've kept all my old costumes, my wardrobes. >> seth: perfect. >> so why not. go for it. >> seth: well, thank you so much. i can't wait to see the film. thank you so much for being here. it was really an honor. [ cheers and applause ] >> definitely a pleasure. thank you. >> seth: michael douglas, everybody. "ant-man" opens in theaters and imax this friday. we'll be right back with more "late night!" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you're getting 3 here. alright?
here goes. yep. [ crunching ] oh! cheddar, sour cream & onion, and salt & vinegar. wow! wow! how did you do that?! i can see through the blindfold. ♪ [ male announcer ] pringles! ♪ when broker chris hill stays at laquinta and fires up free wi-fi, with a network that's now up to 5 times faster than before you know what he can do? let's see if he's ready. he can swim with the sharks! book your next stay at lq.com! watch as these magnificent creatures take flight, soaring away from home towards the promise of a better existence. but these birds are suffering. because this better place turned out to have an unreliable cell phone network,
and the videos on their little bird phones kept buffering. birds hate that. so they came back home. because they get $300 from switching back to verizon, and so can you! verizon. come home to a better network. hey nithanks. today. juicy fruit? sure i'll try a piec.... juicy fruit. so sweet you can't help but chew. matt's gotten used to the funk yup, he's gone noseblind. he thinks it smells fine, but his wife smells this... luckily for all your hard-to-wash fabrics there's febreze fabric refresher febreze doesn't just mask, it eliminates odors you've gone noseblind to break out the febreze, and breathe happy
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. our next guest, best selling author, emmy and grammy nominated comedian, you can watch his new show, "the jim gaffigan show" on tv land starting wednesday night. let's take a look. >> the pope that has potential. any word from maria? >> nope. >> i guess we'll just go home. >> is there any place else that dave might go this time of night? the cellar? >> grif dogs? >> does he go there? >> no, i just want a hot dog. there is one place he's mentioned it a couple of times. ♪ now this is a strip club. >> oh i am so glad you're not the kind of guy that goes into places like this. >> jim. ♪ >> seth: please welcome jim gaffigan!
♪ [ cheers and applause ] welcome. >> thank you. >> seth: so happy you're here. >> it's exciting to be here. >> seth: i'm so happy about the show. >> it is really exciting. i mean i was in makeup for like eight hours. [ laughter ] this is a fact, too. i'm not even -- >> seth: you look great. when i saw you before makeup. >> i look pretty different. >> seth: yeah. you have this gaffigan image now that you have to -- >> it makes me the every man. right? this makes me appealing. >> seth: yeah. >> you know, i don't want people to look at me and go, "oh, he's hot." they're going to look at me and say that anyway. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> but it's just -- i'm just free and easy. i'm not wearing a bra either. [ laughter ] you know why? cause i don't want to be censored. >> seth: yeah. >> i am just me. free and easy. >> seth: you are you. you really are you. because this new show is based
on your actual life, about you and your wife living in a new york apartment with your five kids. >> five kids. >> seth: this based on your real life. >> it's based on my life as being a comedian with five kids and i used to be a woman. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i don't think the episode i saw, i don't think that part was a part of it. >> that's like in the prequel. >> seth: oh, so you find out more about it. >> you're gonna find out about that later on. >> seth: you draw from your own experiences, one of the episodes is told from the -- one of your kids goes to a very progressive school. >> my wife and i, jeannie, who is brilliant, attractive, thin, i look like i have two wives and ate one of them. [ laughter ] we wrote all of the episodes. and one of the episodes was inspired by, you know, when we visited this pre-k, there was art on the wall. it was -- it appeared it was like a figure of a body. there was like a streamer coming out around the crotch area. and i remember thinking is that -- they were like, "yes, that's a penis."
[ light laughter ] i was like, "why?" because all of the kids. then you realize all of the artwork they were having the kids create art of their naked selves. >> seth: wow. >> and we sent our kids there. >> seth: wow! [ laughter ] >> but it is a kind of crunchy, kind of let's not get caught up in that kind of thing. it is play based, a play based school which i'm pretty sure it's just like, the kids just play. [ light laughter ] >> seth: right. >> and they charge money. [ light laughter ] >> seth: and they graduate. you have to go to graduation. >> well there's graduation. i have five kids, now there's a graduation every year, you graduate from kindergarten, which kind of like i think sets a false expectation. like everything is a little, "hey, i went to the grocery store, don't i get a prize?" [ light laughter ] the weird thing is they graduate, then they sit around
the house doing nothing, you know. they look at you like they just returned from fighting isis, you know. [ laughter ] they're like, "what are you going to do?" you're like, "you did nothing. you went to kindergarten." [ light laughter ] >> seth: you are one of the greatest working comics in the world today. you are the best food comic of all time. you like food, you've made that very clear in your act. you have a scene where you eat a fudgesicle. obviously you're shooting for tv, you had to eat the fudgsickle a bunch. was that heaven or did that then turn you against the fudgesicle? >> it definitely -- i do my own food stunts. [ laughter ] in the show. i mean, these people with spit buckets? what's that about? >> seth: exactly. not what the character would do. so, yeah. we wrote for my character, which
is a glutton, but i've got a problem, you know? so i was eating fudgesicles, and at kasden's deli i was eating pastrami, and it eventually my stomach is just like, you know you got to stop. [ light laughter ] there's just moments your body is telling you, "all right, this isn't cute anymore. [ light laughter ] you should get some guidance." [ light laughter ] >> seth: you having kids, has that changed you at all? >> not at all. no. [ light laughter ] i mean, it does, you know, it effected how i eat. so, for instance i started to -- if i'm eating something i enjoy, i will lie to my children and say that it is spicy. [ laughter ] ice cream is spicy, you don't want any. [ light laughter ] or that's one tactic. another tactic, if i'm preparing something, i'll prepare two of them so one is for me, one is for the beggars, which is what i call my kids. [ light laughter ]
so i'll have a sandwich, and then i'll walk out with a sandwich, and they're be like, "oh, can i have some?" and i'm like, "alright, you take this one, then i'll take the other sandwich. and i'll eat it in the bathroom." [ laughter ] >> seth: you're a very smart man. >> 'cause i'm a man. >> seth: you're a very smart man. >> smart man. >> seth: you, famously, you have a famous bit, the hot pockets bit. i think, for a lot of people, the gateway to all of your other material. but because of this, people are constantly on twitter, they're constantly talking about hot pockets. >> it's, you know -- look. i love social media, and i love the feedback, but there's at least three of seven comments on my twitter feed is always hot pockets. [ light laughter ] so, i could do a photo of my four-year-old, they would like, "did you feed him a hot pocket?" [ laughter ] or you know, it'll be like, here's a picture of us opening presents. "did you get any hot pockets for christmas?" [ light laughter ] it's just always hot pockets, all the time. and some of it, it is ironic
'cause nobody else thinks that someone else is gonna do the hot pocket thing. they're like, "hey, hot pocket!" i'm going to the airport after this. people will yell "hot pockets" at me, i don't even know how to respond. >> seth: you mentioned subway in the act. now that there's subway news, people want to talk to you about that. >> there's something weird about talking about food that people will associate, they'll associate some insight with it. when this jared thing, talk about a funny topic, when this jared thing happened, they were publicly jim gaffigan was right. i'm like, "i didn't talk about that at all! [ laughter ] i just talked about the tuna salad being watery." [ light laughter ] "jim gaffigan nailed jared five years ago." i'm like no, not at all. said their bread was disgusting. it's very strange. but i'll take credit. [ laughter ] >> seth: you saw it. you saw it.
thank you for being here. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: jim gaffigan everyone! "the jim gaffigan show" airs wednesday nights on tv land. we'll be right back with more "late night!" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's a golden opportunity to discover the leading-edge connectivity of the lexus es. ♪ with available technology to help you find just what you're looking for. ♪ come in to the lexus golden opportunity sales event, where you'll find some of the best offers of the year on our most luxurious models. for a limited time. this is the pursuit of perfection. america, it's a fact. new york loves snapple and we want the rest of america to love it too. simple ingredients: real sugar, real tea. millions of new yorkers can't be wrong - we'll just leave it at that. all-natural snapple half 'n half. made from the best stuff on earth..
start the interview with a firm handshake. ay,no! don't do that! try head & shoulders instant relief. it cools on contact, and also keeps you 100% flake free. try head & shoulders instant relief. for cooling relief in a snap. ♪ you and me, we could be bare footin' ♪ ♪ we'll certainly get around, ohh ♪ ♪ you and me, we could be bare footin' ♪ ♪ our feet can touch the ground ♪ conceal cracks and splinters with the ultimate do-over for wood and concrete. ♪ hey hey hey hey don't replace, resurface. behr premium deckover. exclusively at the home depot.
is thno, it's, uh, breyers gelato indulgences. you really wouldn't like it. it's got caramel and crunchy stuff. i like caramel and crunchy stuff. breyers gelato indulgences... it's way beyond ice cream. we help you make all kinds of connections. connections you almost miss. and ones you never thought you'd make. we help connect where you are. to places you never thought you'd go. this, is why we travel. and why we continue to create new technology to connect you to the people and places that matter.
we have a really exciting week of shows lined up for you. we have a lot of great guests. on tuesday's show, we will be happy to have -- ♪ >> are you seth meyers, host of "late night with seth meyers on nbc?" >> seth: i am, who are you? >> i am a t-800 terminator. a cybernetic organism with living tissue over a hyper alloy endo-skeleton. i have been programmed by the human resistance, and sent back in time to warn you. >> seth: oh my god. what is it? >> the warning is do not see "terminator: genesis." [ laughter ] it is a bad movie. [ laughter ] >> seth: going to say, what? >> it totally sucks. [ laughter ] it is freaking bad. i'm a terminator. and even i didn't like it. [ light laughter ] the only terminator movies you
need to see are terminator 1 and 2, they are perfect blend of action and sci-fi. [ laughter ] >> seth: sounds right. so, let me get this straight. you were sent back three times from post apocalyptic waste land, this is the only thing you want to warn me about? >> there's no greater threat to humanity than this movie, seth. [ light laughter ] >> seth: what's so bad about it? >> it failed on multiple levels. first, it is like so confusing. [ light laughter ] every other scene is just exposition. it is important in screen writing to show and not tell. >> seth: what do you know about screen writing? >> the fundamentals and basics of screen writing and story telling were programmed into my software by skynet. >> seth: ok, well i find it hard to believe the movie was that bad. >> seth, sarah connor literally called arnold schwarzenegger's terminator character poppa as an over the top wink to the audience that he has gotten old. >> seth: oh yeah, well that doesn't sound great. but come on, this is a summer movie, they're supposed to be fun.
>> seth, this movie has a 27% rating on rottentomatoes.com. to put that in perspective, "san andreas," also a summer movie, has 50% rating. and that movie was total dog [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, hold on. hold on. i thought the rock was pretty good in it. >> yeah, the rock is totally awesome, always. he's super charming on screen. hey, are you caught up on hbo's "ballers?" [ light laughter ] >> seth: no, i'm not. i'm not caught up on hbo's "ballers." >> well, stay up and binge watch it, maybe with your wife, alexis. >> seth: okay. >> anyway, thank god i made it back in time to warn the world about "terminator: genesis" before it opens in theaters everywhere. >> seth: oh, no. oh, no. i don't know how to tell you this, but the movie has been out for two weeks. >> what? no! [ light laughter ] oh man! i'm the worst terminator. i suck, i suck, i suck! john connor is totally going to fire me for my job as being a terminator!
>> seth: give it up for the terrible terminator, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'll be back with more "late night!" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ if you can't stand the heat, get off the test track. get the mercedes-benz you've been burning for at the summer event, going on now at your authorized mercedes-benz dealer. hurry, before this opportunity cools off. share your summer moments in your mercedes-benz with us. everyone's raving! age defy from clairol the secret? superior gray coverage that leaves hair looking 10 years younger
age defy from clairol ...83% try to eat healthy. yet up to...90% fall short in getting key nutrients from... ...food alone. let's do more... add one a day women's gummies. complete with key nutrients we may need... ...plus it supports bone health with calcium and vitamin d. one a day vitacraves gummies. ♪ you got a masterpiece...yeah ♪ we start with fresh milk from us dairy farms so you can make something amazing kraft natural cheese ♪ a good host, is a good host ♪ no matter where he's hosting. ♪ stella artois
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: the lead singer of the band fun, my next guest is a two time grammy award winner, who just released his debut solo album to "critical acclaim." performing "ah-ha" for the first time on television please welcome nate ruess! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ah ha ha ah ah ah ha ha ah ah ah ha left you falling ♪ ♪ on the floor headed for the door ♪ ♪ went straight to philadelphia oh no what have i begun called my mother ♪ ♪ said i love her had another and another one questions questions suddenly suggestions ♪ ♪ where was anyone at the start of this thing hold the cold up over your shoulder ♪ ♪ all i needs a place to grieve oh it's for the best you didn't listen ♪ ♪ it's for the best we get our distance
oh oh woah oh it's for the best ♪ ♪ you didn't listen it's for the best we get our distance oh lord i feel alive ♪ ♪ i've gone and saved my soul if all that you read is everything you believe ♪ ♪ then let go then let go then let go now i'm over my head ♪ ♪ acting like i never started over again i am the city i'm from always wanting more than ♪ ♪ just a word on my arm oh i know i can't believe that i'd let it get to me ♪ ♪ good to know i won't become everything i'm afraid of oh it's for the ♪ ♪ best you didn't listen it's for the best we get our distance oh oh woah oh ♪
♪ it's for the best you didn't listen it's for the best we get our distance ♪ ♪ oh lord i feel alive i've gone and saved my soul if all that you read ♪ ♪ is everything you believe then let go then let go then let go ♪ ♪ mama don't cry i was once your little baby boy so full of ♪ ♪ love and light by the time i turned 25 i was lost ♪ ♪ among the pavement lower than the basement mom i think they're trying to keep the grand ♪ ♪ romantic in me now that we got bottom lines but mom i think ♪
♪ i'm ready to free this grand romantic in me ah ah ha ha la di da la di da la di da ♪ ♪ ah ha ha ah ah ah ha ha ah ah ah ha ha ah ah ah ha ha ah ah ♪ ♪ oh lord i feel alive i've gone and saved my soul if all that you read ♪ ♪ is everything you believe then let go then let go then let go ♪ ♪ oh lord i feel alive it's hard to read my soul
carson daly. welcome to the skylark. it is our home for tonight's edition of "last call." let's get right into it. coming up tonight, jamie lee is the subject of our comedy spotlit. and above and beyond debuts from the forum. but first, in 2004 morgan spurlock burst into the public consciousness with his award winning film "supersize me." and since then, he has been a fixture on tv and film and continues that trend with the new season of "inside man" on cnn. and for more, let's take a look now at the "last call" spotlight. ♪ >> i got to spend a day with, you know, some amazing guys from the new york city sanitation department. there was one bag i remember that we picked up and it smelled like somebody had just like puked and [ bleep ] in it for like a week. and that's all it was. imagine every diaper that you could find in your neighborhood and you put it in a bag and then you like put that in like the sun or an oven and then you put it outside. and then you throw it in the back of the truck and in the back of the truck there's this water. they say, just make sure you get out of the way because you don't want that truck juice that's in the bottom to kind of get you in the face