the stolen items later found around the neighborhood are safely returned. bad kitty bandit. if it's stealing mice from your house, that would be a good kitty bandit. >> how about a wakeup forecast tomorrow. >> you can see for tomorrow morning, temperatures in the 50s. fog near sf, and in the 80s by the afternoon. thanks for joining us. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- kevin james. michael b. jordan. musical guest, bon iver.

and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 533! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hey, everybody, welcome! thank you very, very much. thank you. thank you very much. welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show", everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much for being here. we got a fun one tonight. here's what people are talking

about. donald trump taped an appearance on "dr. oz" today to discuss his health and his diet, and reportedly told dr. oz that he likes fast food, because, quote, "at least you know what they're putting in it." [ light laughter ] then workers at taco bell and arby's said, "you keep telling yourself that." [ laughter and applause ] i appreciate that. "it tastes like a taco." and get this -- a person who was in the audience for donald trump's taping of "dr. oz" reportedly said they learned nothing from the episode other than "trump's healthy, i guess." [ light laughter ] which makes sense, 'cause that's actually what trump's doctor wrote, "trump's healthy, i guess." [ laughter and applause ] i thought this was very interesting, here. i saw that donald trump's childhood home in queens is going up for auction next month. yeah. apparently the house has five bedrooms, or as trump calls it, "20 walls." [ laughter and applause ]

i actually found the listing for trump's old house in today's paper. check this out. trump's old home features a a working fireplace -- aka "tax return incinerator." [ laughter ] as well as ample pantry space to store baskets of deplorables. [ applause ] next, the roof is supposedly original, even though everyone is pretty much positive it's fake. [ applause ] plus, it has plenty of hard wood, i guarantee you, there's no problem there. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, backyard wall paid for by neighbor. [ laughter and applause ] that's interesting. we didn't even have to pay for that. >> steve: the wall's already paid for. >> jimmy: fantastic. here's an update on the hackers who broke into the dnc computer network this summer. they just released the cell phone number of hillary clinton's running mate, tim kaine.

it was the first time a public figure had their phone number released and absolutely nothing happened. [ laughter ] no one cared. no one called it. i heard about the upcoming movie about president obama's college years, reportedly shows a young obama shirtless, smoking cigarettes and smoking weed. or as the president calls him, 2017 obama. [ laughter and applause ] "i'll see you there." that's the future. i've seen the future and it will be." here's a little celebrity news, here. fans of the rapper nelly have started streaming his songs over and over to help him raise money, because apparently he owes the irs over $2 million in unpaid taxes. $2 million. or as nelly would say -- ♪ uh-ooooohh [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: we had to pay for that. we had to pay for that. so i think we got him a a little -- a little money right there.

[ light laughter ] check this out. nasa just revealed that this past august was the hottest in earth's history. or as nelly might say -- ♪ it's getting hot in here so hot so take off all your clothes ♪ [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's it. a little -- a little strapped. >> steve: let it be. >> jimmy: we love nelly. guys, get this, wal-mart is working on a self-driving shopping cart that would return itself to the store after you're done using it. [ light laughter ] that's cool. though the minute that wal-mart shopping cart becomes self-aware, it's gonna drive itself to target and never look back. [ laughter and applause ] you realize -- be careful what you wish for. >> steve: i'm leaving. >> jimmy: and finally, some business news. it was just announced that the ceo of weight watchers is stepping down from the company at the end of the month. or as nelly might say --

♪ i think my butt's getting big ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots right there! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! hot crowd tonight. hot show tonight. it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead, you guys. tomorrow night, this is big. republican presidential nominee donald trump will be here on the show. >> steve: whoa! [ applause ] >> jimmy: it'll be interesting. then on friday, the one, the only miley cyrus will be joining us. >> steve: hey! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're gonna talk to her. we're gonna have some fun. then miley's going to perform for us, a new song. this is pretty cool what she's doing. [ light laughter ] i don't want to spoil it. >> steve: don't spoil it. >> jimmy: but it's something different. miley always does that. >> steve: she's just fun. >> jimmy: is she playing with you guys? >> questlove: yeah. >> jimmy: so, the roots and miley cyrus. it's gonna be -- you don't want to miss it, it's

really cool. but first, we have a fun show tonight. we love this guy, he's so hilarious. from the new television show, "kevin can wait", kevin james is here, everybody! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a great, funny dude. love him. we're gonna catch up with kevin, then he and i are going head-to-head in a game of "slapjack." >> steve: ooh. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: plus, he's a terrific actor, and he's part of the new nba2k 17, michael b. jordan is on the show tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's in the game. it's pretty cool. he's in the game, that's awesome. and also -- oh, i'm so excited for this! i've been looking forward to this. performing their new song, "8", for the first time on tv tonight, we have great music from bon iver, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] this is the record. "8." when you see the set up and what he's doing, it's something like i've never seen. did you see it in rehearsal?

>> questlove: i didn't want to watch it. i wanted to see it -- >> jimmy: you're gonna freak -- you are gonna to freak out. i mean, this is gonna be all over pitchfork tomorrow. [ light laughter ] it's one of those things where you're like -- this guy's always doing something different. it's like three, almost, d.j. set-ups -- what? >> questlove: don't tell anybody. don't ruin it. >> jimmy: no, i can tell, it's happening tonight. you could do -- but he's got like, maybe, a a bunch of singers behind him. and using the vocals from -- it's just, the guy's a genius. bon iver is on the show tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you want to hear a a little bit of the song? >> steve: just a tiny -- bust off a tiny piece. >> jimmy: here it is -- ♪ it's gettin' hot in here so take off all your clothes ♪ ♪ i am getting so hot i wanna take my clothes off ♪ >> jimmy: that's it. >> steve: whoa, nelly. >> jimmy: bon iver, that's it. "8." [ cheers and applause ] "8" is the song. "8" is the song. guys, we're in week two of the nfl season, and the big "sunday

night football" matchup is between the green bay packers -- [ cheers ] and the minnesota vikings. [ cheers ] right here on nbc. now, as you know at the end of every season, they give out awards like most valuable player. but they also give out awards during the season, sort of like the ones in the high school yearbooks. like, most likely to succeed, class clown, stuff like that. so with that in mind, it's time for "the tonight show" superlatives. here we go. ♪ tonight show superlatives ♪ >> jimmy: our first player is jake ryan. he's a linebacker for the green bay packers. he was voted most likely to be matt damon if he ate three other matt damons. [ laughter and applause ] interesting. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: good for him. >> steve: three times a damon. >> jimmy: next we have audie cole from the vikings. he was voted most likely to be a snapchat face-swap of you and your girlfriend. [ laughter and applause ]

>> steve: these are current awards. >> jimmy: next up from the vikings is shamar stephen. he was voted most likely to cry after losing a balloon. [ laughter and applause ] next up for the packers is kyle murphy. [ light laughter ] he was voted most likely to have just found out that you can't eat the plastic on kraft singles. [ laughter and applause ] next from the vikings is quarterback shaun hill. he was voted most likely to rub his butt on the rug like a dog. [ laughter ] i don't know what that means. >> steve: i didn't know they gave out that award. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. next, from the packers, is t.j. lang. he was voted most likely to be the love child of conan o'brien and andy richter. [ laughter and applause ] interesting. >> steve: that's a delight. >> jimmy: next up from the

minnesota vikings is punter jeff locke. he was voted most likely to have to warn his team again about his intense peanut allergy. [ laughter and applause ] "guys, i'm serious." >> steve: "who's got the epi-pen?" >> jimmy: "they can't be anywhere near the locker room." [ laughter ] >> steve: "those epi-pens are expensive!" [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: next from the packers is jhurell pressley. he was voted most likely to laugh, then say, "wait, what?" after you pretend to remove your thumb. [ laughter and applause ] you got it? >> steve: that's not it. yeah! >> jimmy: there you go. ♪ [ applause ] next we have trevor davis from the packers. he was voted most likely to be anywhere between 6'1" and 6'4." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: depending on the weather. [ laughter ]

you want some help? >> jimmy: next up -- what's up? next up is kicker mason crosby. he was voted most likely to look in the mirror and say, "yes, my hugh laurie transformation pills are working!" [ laughter and applause ] and finally, from the packers is running back eddie lacy. he was voted most likely to buy all as his glasses at a store called whoopi crafters. [ laughter and applause ] there you go. those are your nfl superlatives. we'll be right back with kevin james, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

i am sebastian artois. brewmaster. risktaker. i sold everything i had to own a brewery. you might have heard its name... stella artois be legacy you're not taking these. hey, hey, hey! you're not taking those. woah, woah! you're not taking that. come with me. you're not taking that. you're not taking that. you're not taking that. mom, i'm taking the subaru. don't be late. even when we're not there to keep them safe, our subaru outback will be. (vo) love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru.

what's yours?illion ways to top your kids' rice krispies. ♪a dash of fruit in their favorite color.♪ ♪a bunch of pineapple 'cause hey it's summer!♪ ♪bananas and berries 'cause the letter b rocks.♪ ♪a little bit of yogurt? ♪sure! why not? the fun never stops! how many ways can you snap, crackle, pop? that lets you write con the screenen if you try to write, on a plain old mac the difference can be seen (it doesn't work) get the surface pro (the keyboard detaches from the screen) get the surface pro (i like the blue!)

♪ ♪ ♪ all the care your family needs. all connected for you.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a a very funny human being. a very talented actor and performer. he stars in a brand-new television comedy series called "kevin can wait" which premieres monday, september 19th, at 8:30 pm on cbs. please welcome kevin james, ladies and gentlemen! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: they love you! one of a kind. who doesn't love kevin james. come on. >> that's entirely too much right there. >> jimmy: welcome back. welcome back to the show. how are you, how is the family? are you guys breaking bottles over each other's heads? >> no, we're having the kids, everybody we're having a great time. we're back in long island. >> jimmy: you're back in long island? i love what you're doing. you're filming the show in long island. >> on long island and we're going through all the old stomping grounds. because i lived here, i grew up here. i took all the kids to a place called adventure land, which is -- [ applause ] yeah, yeah, you know it. oh, it's awesome. it's this it's this little family-owned amusement park.

and i don't know about you, but when i was young, i wanted to go on all the roller coasters. you know, the faster the better, twirls, whips, drops, everything i wanted it. something happened when i got older that i was -- [ laughter ] yeah, i don't know what it is, man. but i was i knew i can't handle this stuff. i'm walking through the park and immediately taking rides off the menu. that's going to hurt my shoulder. can't do that. that's a back breaker. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the back breaker. >> but i'm trying to find a a ride. nothing with a harness. i don't want anything in vanilla county. [ laughter ] i don't want that happening down there, it's too tight. >> jimmy: the technology, yeah. >> but i got to go on the ride with my kids. so all the rollercoasters are off the table, i didn't want to do that. so i'm looking, and i find this one, the pirate ship. there's a pirate ship there. if you know, it's a swing. who doesn't love a swing, by the way, right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> so and yeah, i scouted it. it's two minutes long. it goes back. it doesn't go up over the top or get stuck or anything. so i said, "let's do this." it starts one way, and right here, when it got right there i knew i had made a massive miscalculation.

[ laughter ] like really bad. you know? >> jimmy: i know exactly what you're talking about. >> do you know what i'm talking about? >> jimmy: i know that feeling. >> you know like you get the water in the mouth, which is basically vomits way of ringing the door bell. just letting you know -- [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: ding dong, something coming up. we're here! >> we're in the neighborhood. we're going to be swinging by at some point. [ laughter ] then i'm like, i can't throw up in front of my kids. i'm going to look like a -- what kind of a father am i. i can't do this. so i -- i don't want to ruin the experience. it swings two more times. then i don't give a crap about my kids. i mean i don't care about anybody now, i'm such in a a panic. i'm sweating. i don't want to look at -- i can't look at my hands because i'm locked on to the bar so tight. i want to check my watch to see how much time -- literally only eight seconds in. [ laughter ] i know this is going to go on. the only people i care about right now in the whole world is me and the little kid who can stop this whole thing with the red button down there. but he's not looking at me. >> jimmy: no. >> he's on the phone or

something, some corny dating site or something. i don't know what he was doing. i didn't throw up, though. but i handled it and got off. it was a scary, scary experience. it was horrible. >> jimmy: yeah exactly -- but this is your neighborhood -- are your friends still out there? >> i've got all my friends out there, which is great. it's been great. they're all retired cops, a lot of my buddies. which is exactly what the show is about. it's nice, because they keep me grounded. they always, you know keep me humble. i don't know about you, i don't know if you had some friends back home from high school, just a little -- i don't know, they're just a little off about you and what you've done. they're a little jaded. have you had people come up to you like that and -- >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> hey, how you doing? so you're doing another show? like a passive aggressive way of saying, "you're doing another show? i didn't love the first one." and then they don't -- >> jimmy: only they could say that to you. >> exactly! they're like, "try and we'll see what happens." >> jimmy: i don't know you that well. i haven't seen you since high school. >> and they're like, "man, 'zookeeper' sucked." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: good running into

you, buddy. >> well, i guess it wasn't for everybody. "no, it wasn't for anybody." [ laughter ] they'll tell you, they don't care. >> jimmy: i, of course enjoy everything you do. you come on and i tell you -- but i do mean it. you know what i realized, you actually are great at falls, your physical comedy. that's why we did that slow-motion bar fight i loved. but every movie i see you the sandler movie where you jump in the pool. your falling is fantastic. you should teach a course on falling. you're very good at falling. >> no, no. >> jimmy: yeah, you're good at falling. yeah, they agree. [ applause ] >> i don't know i don't know if that's a compliment. it feels goofy. >> jimmy: no you're the best. you're a comedian. it's the best. you should have fell tonight. that would have been -- >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, you never know. >> do you do you want me to fall? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, on a dare? >> no i mean -- what am i, chevy chase all of a sudden? [ laughter ] i can come out and do it if you want. >> jimmy: reenter? >> i can do a reenter. but it's like -- yeah, let's do

a reenter. i'll just do a reenter, all right? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'll give you an intro. >> what do you want me to fall on? >> jimmy: you can fall on that thing, or -- >> all right. all right. i'll try. i'll do my best. i don't know. >> jimmy: do you want me to leave something out you can fall over? >> what? >> jimmy: do you want me to leave something out so you can fall over it? >> no, no, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i might hurt you again. >> i don't want to get hurt. >> jimmy: here we go, i'm just going to introduce you. i'm going to say your name. okay, here we go. i'll say from the new show "kevin can wait," kevin james. [ laughter ] from the new show, "kevin can wait," please welcome kevin james! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ laughter ] >> hey! hey! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tht's how you do it! that's how you do it. that's how you do it right there. >> you've got to get that fixed. [ laughter ] you've got to get that fixed. >> jimmy: that was unbelievable.

that was unbelievably awesome. >> the big man went down. >> jimmy: you are the greatest. who else can do that. that is unbelievable. thank you. [ laughter ] that was fantastic. i just love it. >> thank you. thank you, guys. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "kevin can wait." i've seen promos all over the city about your show. >> yeah. >> jimmy: they're on top of cabs, there are billboards everywhere. people are very excited about this show. and i was watching, i thought this was funny, i want to show you, i was watching "meet the press" over the weekend and they had kristen welker who is a correspondent for nbc news, and she was talking about hillary, the update on her health or something like that. and just watch in the background and see if you can see somebody photo-bombing. this is real news footage. >> we don't know where she's headed. >> jimmy: look at this. hey, guys! hey, guys! [ laughter and applause ]

hey guys, how's it going. and the camera guy tries to move, the cab keeps moving forward a little bit. [ laughter ] and then you go, yeah, perfect shot right there. photo bombing, the whole time. and then -- cbs mondays. commercial. mondays. mondays! later, dude! i'm out. >> by the way, that's the only way i'm getting on "meet the press." [ laughter ] it's just not going to happen. >> jimmy: what is "kevin can wait" about? what is the plot? >> i play a retired police officer after 20 years. my buddies are just retired guys, in their mid-40s and stuff, and they're done and they have to start up with their family again. they have this retirement dream. these guys all going to the academy at the same time. they retired at the same time. they just think retirement is going to be a lot of day drinking and met games and just having fun. and the family is there, life gets in the way. so it's a -- it's a fun show. it really is. >> jimmy: kevin actually has to wait for retirement. >> yeah, kevin does have to wait. >> jimmy: i want to show a

a clip. here's kevin james in "kevin can wait." take a look at this. >> let's test this baby out. we've got to start small, try some pretzels, okay? >> i was worried when you retired, we would be bored. >> give me a scenario where i might spill it. >> okay, you're on a fishing boat having a snack. >> i like that. look at that. oh, look at that. >> but the water's choppy. >> is it choppy? >> it's choppier than that. yeah! [ laughter ] oh! >> is it? >> and then a huge wave smacks into you -- >> oh! nothing! [ laughter ] >> all right. now, you give me a scenario. >> now, you are a prostitute. [ laughter ] you -- i'm sorry, i don't even know where that came from. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: kevin james, we love you! "kevin can wait" begins monday, september 19th at 8:30pm on cbs. kevin and i are going to play slap jack when we come back. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

[sobbing in background] i need a better yoga class. [sobbing]: oh gail, i miss you so much. well... i'm not super into yoga, but yeah, we know just the place. [sobbing]: just weep it out. no matter what you need or when you need it, check yelp first. initiating retrieval sequence. activating thrusters. target acquired.

dang it! ah! come on! astronauts can vote from space. take a break from the election with red or blue tea. make time for snapple. there's hey dude.left, you should masterpass that, now. i masterpassed it. she sounds cranky. she wants her fruit chews. masterpassed. oh jane, you're getting a ticket. nope, it's been masterpassed. what's with this one? i've taken care of the check, it's all masterpassed. masterpassed it. i masterpassed it.

that was fast. because i masterpass. poor mouth breather. allergies? stuffy nose? can't sleep? take that. a breathe right nasal strip instantly opens your nose up to 38% more than allergy medicine alone. shut your mouth and say goodnight, mouthbreathers. breathe right.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. i'm back with kevin james! his new show "kevin can wait" premieres this monday at 8:30pm on cbs. kevin and i are about to play a a game called slap jack. now it works the sam as blackjack. at the end of each round the winner gets to slap the loser across the face with a giant prosthetic hand. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] this looks like my hand after i've eaten a soft pretzel, by the way. i blow right up. >> jimmy: you blow up? the first one to win three rounds is the winner. we take turns dealing. no splits. if it's a tie the dealer loses. kevin, as our guest, you're going to deal first. >> i deal first. >> jimmy: two cards each. loser gets slapped. >> okay. so i'm dealing to you first? >> jimmy: yepp. one up to me. >> here we go. okay. ready? >> jimmy: yep. >> okay. ooh, that's a bad card. >> jimmy: that is not well.

>> is it down to me? >> jimmy: yeah. down to you. >> okay, good. now >> jimmy: up to me. >> up to you again. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you're looking at 12. >> jimmy: yeah, not good. >> ok this is up right here. ooh, that's not looking much better. >> jimmy: okay, 16. hit me. no don't hit me. hit me with a card. >> ready? >> jimmy: yeah. >> what is that? that's 17. >> jimmy: not too shabby. ♪ i learned a tune at 17 ♪ [ laughter ] i'm staying. >> this is a 5 right here. nice little nickel. ready, ready? bang! oh, it eight. which would be probably just one and up. one more than i have to beat you right? here we go. this is it. >> jimmy: controversy. >> no! >> jimmy: is it a >> no! oh, wait. okay. 13. 15. >> jimmy: 13. >> i got 15 so i can i can hit again, though, am i right? blackjack. >> jimmy: yeah. 15. >> here you go. >> jimmy: give me a face. give me a face card.

>> here we go, baby. oh! what is that? >> jimmy: what does that mean? what is that? it's a tie! >> no, i can hit! can i hit? >> jimmy: no, you can't hit. you lose. >> dealer loses? >> jimmy: yes. >> oh! [ slap sound ] [ laughter and applause ] >> what was that? >> jimmy: i said that earlier. >> but i wasn't even ready! i wasn't even ready. >> jimmy: you can't hit back. >> i was going for it. i'm going for a rule. you crushed me. >> jimmy: i didn't know what was happening. here you go. ready buddy? thanks so much for coming on the show, by the way. [ laughter ] >> is that hand do you have a a ring on that hand? [ laughter ] oh! >> jimmy: i don't like that at all. >> oh. >> jimmy: i don't like that. and then down. this could be blackjack. >> it's not. that's a soft 4? i hate math in blackjack. i don't like the pressure. i don't like the pressure. that's a hard 4 there. that's trouble right there.

i've got a lot of options. >> jimmy: i'm hitting against the 4 with the soft. >> jimmy: you're hitting against the 4. >> yes. >> jimmy: here you go. good luck. >> what is that now? five? [ laughter ] is that five? >> jimmy: four plus one is five, yeah it is. >> very weird. i don't know. hit again. is that 15? i'm going to hit again. >> jimmy: you're going to hit again. here we go. >> alright, now it's definitely a 15. that's trouble. i'm going to take it, because he's got a 4. you're in trouble, baby. [ applause ] no! okay. >> jimmy: that's a 5. >> or a 15. >> jimmy: we could never go gambling. >> no never. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we don't belong there. >> our math skills. >> you have a 15. that's a push and that means you lose. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: i wash checking that. the rules say. doing a rules check! >> you iced me before! >> jimmy: yeah, i know but you're my guest so i thought >> but you iced me. i was asking a question. >> jimmy: i said i got 14. >> i cut you before, i'll do it again. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: look at that. i hurt my neck. permanent neck damage. >> all right, what happens now? me? >> jimmy: yeah. >> alright. >> jimmy: this is what you've done. >> alright. alright so this is up? >> jimmy: yep. ooh, that's looking good. >> alright, this is down. [ laughter ] this is two up? >> yeah, up. oh, that's not good. oh! 19. oh! >> jimmy: if you ever went gambling you'd just be two guys going, oh! >> oh! >> jimmy: oh! >> oh! and not positive on what we had. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here you go, buddy. >> alright. oh, that's bad.

>> jimmy: kevin, thank you so much for coming on the show. it doesn't hurt though, right? >> no. >> jimmy: good to see you, buddy. [ slap sound ] [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: our thanks to kevin james, "kevin can wait" premiers monday at 8:30 p.m. on cbs. michael b. jordan joins us after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ha-ha-ha! um-hmmm! hey! nikki! what are you doing here? you tell me, stephen. what? i'm snapping. you've been streaming my videos all morning. now you're with this thing? no! it's not you! it's verizon! they limit my data. i had to choose.

come on, girl. let's get us a man with unlimited data. why pay verizon more for data limits? introducing t-mobile one. one price. unlimited data for everyone. the bud light party is for everyone. men bar crowd:yeah! women bar crowd: woo! people of all genders! we don't care we'll sell you beer. we'll sell you a beer any day of the week. steel mill workers: yeah! ♪

one smart choice leads to the next. ♪ the new 2017 ford fusion is here. it's the beauty of a well-made choice. ♪ alright, how's this for a tv show. sous chef. lawyer by day, prep-cook by night. also, his name is sous. no. sloppy joseph. a middle-aged man who's trying to get his life together, but he can't - he's to sloppy. huhhh - no! here you go. i got this. i get cash back so it's like everything's on sale. with the blue cash everyday card from american express you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. everything's on sale! a home shopping show takes place on a sailboat. that's the one! banana boat dessert on me. look at you being all lactose tolerant. it's more than cash back. it's backed by the service and security of american express.

our machine will eat is convher buddy antonio.hing so when it's time for his much needed bath... ...antonio hides from me. but, when i do find antonio, i wash him with tide and downy. we only trust tide to get rid of the week-old stains and downy to protect him from damage. tide and downy. great on their own, even better together.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a very, very talented actor. you know him from movies like "fruitvale station" and "creed." he's now a part of the new nba 2k17, which will be available everywhere, september 20th. everyone, please welcome michael b. jordan!

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> that is the warmest welcome in his building. >> jimmy: that's got to feel good. >> it does. it's awesome. >> jimmy: that's got to feel good. welcome. welcome back to the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i haven't been able to say congratulations. 'cause you came on for "creed" before the movie came out. >> that's right. >> jimmy: man, oh man, you hit it out of the park. >> thank you i appreciate it man. thank you. i appreciate it. >> jimmy: great job. >> thank you guys over there. >> jimmy: oh, the roots. they love you. >> the roots, yeah, man. >> jimmy: but now you said, i heard that you're getting -- you're going to get bigger now. 'cause you were jack in "creed." but you're getting you're working out again? >> i'm getting back into, you know, fighting shape. "creed" was -- i wanted to look like a boxer. i didn't want to look intimidating or too intimidating, rather. i wanted to be true to what the character was, but this time around for "black panther" i'm

bulking up. i'm a villain, so i wanted to be pretty [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: when i bulk up, it's usually i just bulk up -- >> you go for the keg. quantity not quality right? >> jimmy: you were telling me you have to eat a lot? you're just eating. >> i'm eating two and a half every two and a half hours, six times a day, tons of carbs. six times a day. i'm not even hungry half the time. i'm just like shoving food in my mouth. >> jimmy: i've never heard that. >> well i'm bulking up now so i can kind of strip down and shred when we get closer to shoot date, so it's a process. >> jimmy: we've got you a coke right here. >> oh man. where's my trainer at? my trainer is here, too. >> jimmy: and a cheesesteak. >> oh, man. >> jimmy: it's amazing. >> is this from philly? >> jimmy: no this is a new york food place called ando. but it's new york's version -- i know "creed" was philly. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're going to freak out. just try this. you're going to go nuts. just go. yeah. >> mm-mmm. oh, man. >> jimmy: i told you right. >> it's the grilled onions. it's the grilled onions. >> jimmy: that's what it is.

it's the grilled onions. >> oh my god. thank you. >> jimmy: when you come back i'm going to be fatter, and you're going to be -- [ laughter ] that's a bad idea. >> we should do this more often. i like this. >> jimmy: how great is life? you are in a video game right now. >> i mean, it's a dream come true, honestly. >> jimmy: it really is, right? how fun is it? >> i used to play that game a a lot growing up. >> jimmy: me too. >> so to be able to be a part of it, it's incredible. >> jimmy: yeah, me, too. i'm much older than you are, but you're in career mode. you go to my career mode. it's basically you, have you seen what you look like in the game yet? >> i have. they've got me spot-on. it's crazy. >> jimmy: look at this. >> and i'm a knicks fan so that's like >> jimmy: isn't that crazy? [ cheers and applause ] that's the game. that is not you, that's the game. >> they got me spot-on. i've seen them mess up a lot of people. like their hair and their eyes might be a little close together. >> jimmy: they're never perfectly done, yeah, exactly. >> they got me spot-on. >> jimmy: this is funny. but did you have to wear the motion capture suit and the little balls everywhere? >> i had the onesie. >> jimmy: yeah. >> little onesie with the helmet cam and stuff like that.

>> jimmy: really? >> yeah, the camera's like, looking at you like right in your face to kind of read all of your facial expressions. >> jimmy: so you really went for it? >> full. i went all the way in. >> jimmy: when you do this, do you have any signature moves? do you have any what do they have you do? >> well, i mean, one of the things i could add to the game is, i brought my signature handshake from my friends growing up in jersey. something i could kind of add personally to the game. >> jimmy: what is your signature hand -- i never had one. >> i mean, i can show you right now. i mean, this is a lot of pressure right now. a lot of people are watching. you can't mess this up. >> jimmy: no, no. >> you know, it's the thing with the handshakes. >> jimmy: yeah, i know. >> okay. >> jimmy: so i'll walk in just like i'm seeing you on the street. >> all right. cool. [ laughter ] [ whistles ] oh, man. >> jimmy: nice to see you. yeah. >> snap snap. orange juice. lemon juice. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. i'm going to call you later. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> it's good seeing you. >> jimmy: thank you. check me out. orange juice. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. hey, what was that? >> orange juice. 'cause you're like squeezing you're squeezing the juice out. it's like fresh squeezed. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah. >> it's not concentrated.

>> jimmy: okay good. okay, yeah. it's freshly squeezed. >> all organic. >> jimmy: did you ever 'cause growing up with the name michael jordan -- >> yeah, you know. >> jimmy: did you [ light laughter ] a career in the nba must have been thought about, maybe? >> you know, maybe once or twice. [ laughter ] once or twice, and then -- >> jimmy: well, your dad was named michael jordan as well. >> my dad's name is michael jordan. so i'm not a junior, because our middle names are different, but i was his first son and i was going to get his name no matter what. it just so happened that there was another michael jordan out there that was running rampant in the league and became the greatest basketball player to ever live. so -- small shadow. just a small shadow. >> jimmy: but look how it worked out. you're knocking them dead in these movies. i mean, in "creed" you were fantastic. and now you're in -- you're playing in the nba, basically. >> i was never going to make it to the league. but i proved them wrong. >> jimmy: michael jordan is back. >> that's what i'm talking about. >> jimmy: michael b. jordan. nba 2k17 is available

everywhere september 20th. bon iver performs after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey listen, when you tell our friends about your job, maybe let's play up the digital part. but it's a manufacturing job. yeah, well ge is doing a lot of cool things digitally to help machines communicate, might want to at least mention that. i'm building world-changing machines. with my two hands. does that threaten you? no! don't be silly. i'm just, uh, going to go to chop some wood. with that? yeah we don't have an ax. or a fireplace. good to be prepared. could you cut the bread? first you start with this. these guys. a place like shhh! no. found it! and definitely lipton ice tea. lots of it. a lipton meal is what you bring to it. and the refreshing taste of lipton iced tea.

was mr. bonejanglesny expecting the perfect toy at an amazing price? of course not. he's a dog. but that's the beauty of a store full of surprises. you never know what you're gonna find, but you know you're gonna love it. and i'm michael howard. we left on our honeymoon in january 2012. it actually evolved into a business. from our blog to video editing... our technology has to hang tough with us. when you're going to a place without electricity, you need a long battery life. the touch, combined with the screen resolution... a mac doesn't have that. we wanted to help more people get out there and see the world. once you take that leap, that's where the magic happens.

♪ ♪ take on any road with intuitive all-wheel drive. the nissan rogue, murano and pathfinder. now get 0% apr for 72 months, plus $500 bonus cash.

what's yours?illion ways to top your kids' rice krispies. ♪a dash of fruit in their favorite color.♪ ♪a bunch of pineapple 'cause hey it's summer!♪ ♪bananas and berries 'cause the letter b rocks.♪ ♪a little bit of yogurt? ♪sure! why not? the fun never stops! how many ways can you snap, crackle, pop? brewmaster. risktaker.. i sold everything i had to own a brewery. you might have heard its name... stella artois be legacy i absolutely love my new but the rent is outrageous. good thing geico offers affordable renters insurance. with great coverage it protects my personal belongings should they get damaged, stolen or destroyed. [doorbell] uh, excuse me. delivery. hey. lo mein, szechwan chicken, chopsticks, soy sauce and you got some fortune cookies. have a good one. ah, these small new york apartments... protect your belongings. let geico help you

with renters insurance.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this guy is always doing something amazing. we just love this guy. with this whole record, i don't know how you can describe it with the different symbols and everything on it. but you're about to see what he does. they are a critically acclaimed band,who's highly anticipated new album, "22, a million," is out september 30th. performing "8," please welcome bon iver! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

♪ philosophise your figure what i have in heaven you called i came ♪ ♪ stand tall through it all fallen fixture just the same thing ♪ ♪ ♪ say nothing of my fable no

what on earth is left to come ♪ ♪ who's agonized and not through it all i'm underneath your tongue ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm standing in your street now no and i carry his guitar ♪ ♪ i can't recall it lightly at all but i know i'm going in ♪ ♪ ♪ too much for me to pick

up, no no no not sure what forgiveness is ♪ ♪ we gather at the squall of it all i can leave behind a hover ♪ ♪ i will run all the way round it have to crawl still can't stop it ♪ ♪ along the fires one more time just pass me by imma make it half the night all night wishes ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ to walk aside your favor i'm an astuary king i'll keep in a cave your comfort and all ♪ ♪ unburdened and becoming ♪ i will run have to crawl along the fire ♪ ♪ along the fire

carry up love along ♪ ♪ now mona haven't i locked up my failures ♪ ♪ wouldn't i be last to see deny with love my labor was it all i could find ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: i don't know how you do it. i've got a thousand questions. i don't know how you do it. bon iver! "22 million" is available for preorder now. we'll be right back, everybody! bon iver! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

to prove how authentic my new brewhouse bacon burger is i'm going undercover, at an actual brewhouse.

it's awesome. amazing! what if i told you, you are eating a jack's brewhouse bacon burger from jack in the box. not this one. absolutely lying. and what if i told you... that i'm jack. whaaaat?!! no way! no! didn't see that coming, did you? porter ale cheese sauce, grilled onions, and bacon on a artisan potato bun. jack's new brewhouse bacon burger, new from jack in the box. hey, where did jack go? he was just here.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: bon iver once again! [ cheers and applause ] my thanks to kevin james, michael b. jordan, bon iver, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there. stay tuned for "late night with seth myers." thank you so much for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, joseph gordon-levitt, comedian lewis black. music from calum scott. featuring the 8g band with matt garstka. >> ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is late night. how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers ] >> seth: good. that's wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. donald trump will appear on "dr. oz" tomorrow, while his traditional doctor will appear on "law and order svu." [ laughter ]