[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- chris pratt. star of "2 broke girls" actress and author beth behrs. founder and ceo of vice media, shane smith. featuring the 8g band with josh dion. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody! i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how we all doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. that's great to hear, in that case, let's get to the news. president trump will return to new york city tomorrow for the first time since taking office. said melania, "oh, that's so crazy, i'm flying to d.c. tomorrow." [ laughter ]

"oh, you should have told me. ships in the night." [ light laughter ] fbi director james comey testified before congress today, and said that it makes him "mildly nauseous" to think that his actions might have affected the election. of course, that might just be from all that time he spent looking at anthony weiner's laptop. [ laughter ] president trump said yesterday that fbi director james comey is the best thing that ever happened to hillary clinton. that's ridiculous. everybody knows the best thing that ever happened to hillary clinton is balloons. [ laughter and applause ] according -- according to a new politico poll, 48% of voters approve of the job president trump is doing. of course, a lot of them think that job is plus sized golf shirt model. [ laughter ]

american airlines recently announced that they plan on cutting leg room in economy class, while united airlines announced they'll be cutting legs. [ laughter and applause ] "we are coming down with the beverage cart!" [ laughter ] "get your legs out of the aisle!" vice president mike pence will host a cinco de mayo celebration tomorrow, where guests can play festive games like "pin the crime on the immigrant." [ audience oohs ] [ light laughter ] yeah, how do you think they feel? [ laughter ] that's right, mike pence will host a cinco de mayo celebration. he's even bringing along the white house piñata. [ laughter and applause ] thank you. our good friend spicey. according to a new report, apple

will not release a new iphone this year, but unfortunately they're also not going to release the children who build them. [ audience oohs ] [ light laughter ] i don't know how i thought it was gonna go. [ laughter ] scientists have published a video of the first recorded evidence of wild cuddle fish fighting each other over a mate. catch it all this season on "real housewives of atlantis." [ laughter and applause ] and finally, according to a new report baby boomers drink more alcohol than any other age-group. they drink to drown out the sound of the millennials living in their basement. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. from "guardians of the galaxy vol. 2" chris pratt is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ]

also, she's the star of "2 broke girls" and her new health and wellness book "the total me-tox" is out now, beth behrs is back, with us. [ cheers and applause ] i'm very excited about this, we have the founder and ceo of vice media and host of the emmy winning news magazine series "vice" on hbo, shane smith is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] before we get to all of that, we didn't have enough time to cover all of the recent news, so here with a recap is one of our writers amber ruffin in a segment we call "amber says what." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> horray! hey, seth. a lot has been going on. okay first of all, the new faceapp had everybody like "what?" so, i used it and made myself an old lady and i was like "what!" [ laughter ] then i made myself a boy and i was like, "what are you doing later?" [ light laughter ]

then everyone was like, "trump has the lowest approval ratings of any president at 100 days." i was like, "what?" then serena williams won the australian open pregnant. and everyone was like, "what?" [ light laughter ] but i was like, "what?" [ light laughter ] she could have beat that woman during labor. [ laughter ] then beyonce won a peabody award for "lemonade" and i was like, "what?" but then my friend said, "no, adele actually won it." and i was like "what?" then she was like, "just kidding." and i was like "what in the hell, amanda?" [ laughter ] "don't do that to me. i am still very upset about the grammys." then a bunch of people -- a bunch of women came forward accusing bill o'reilly of sexual harassment, and i was like -- then, a bunch more came forward, and i was like -- [ light laughter ] then bill o'reilly got fired and

i was like "what, what?" the women got a total of $13 million. [ cheers and applause ] "what, what?" then bill o'reilly got $25 million and i was like, "what, what?" [ light laughter ] oh, i almost forgot. i put seth's face in the faceapp and i was like, "what?" this has been "amber says what." [ laughter and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: thank you, amber, for showing us all what a beautiful woman i would make. [ light laughter ] moving on, fbi director james comey re-emerged today to publicly defend his decision making in the run up to the 2016 election. meanwhile, republicans in congress move closer to passing their disastrous health care bill. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: while, republicans were scrambling behind the scenes today to get their health care bill through the house, comey was testifying in the senate defending his decision to announce 11 days before the

election that the fbi was reopening the investigation into hillary clinton's emails. first, he took us through the discovery of those emails, mentioning a name you might be familiar with. >> october 27th, the investigative team that had finished the investigation in july, focused on secretary clinton's emails asked to meet with me. and they laid out for me what they could see from the metadata on this fella, anthony weiner's laptop. >> seth: "this fella, anthony weiner?" [ light laughter ] you know who he is. also, that sounds like the beginning of a vaudeville routine. "you see, there was this fella, anthony weiner. and he liked to take pictures of his ding dong." [ laughter ] now comey violated a long standing policy by interfering in the election, and today he tried to defend that decision. although, i'm not sure his explanation was all that convincing. >> i faced a choice. and i've lived my entire career by the tradition that if you can possibly avoid it, you avoid any action in the run up to an election that might have an impact. whether it's a dog catcher election or president of the united states. but i sat there that morning and i could not see a door labeled

"no action here." i could see two doors, and they were both actions. one was labeled "speak" and the other was labeled "conceal." >> seth: and donald trump said "don't open conceal. that's where i keep my tax returns." [ laughter ] "and where i try to keep eric, but he keeps getting out." [ laughter and applause ] now, as we all know by now, comey chose "speak" over "conceal," and today, he argued that anyone who disagreed with that -- with that decision, should put themselves in his shoes, and think about what they would have done in that moment 11 days before the election. >> everybody who disagrees with me has to come back to october 28th with me. >> seth: wait -- you know how to get back to october 28th? [ laughter ] well then, fire up the delorean bro, because i need to buy someone a ticket to wisconsin and michigan. [ laughter and applause ] so that -- that was what was going on in the senate. meanwhile, over in the house, republicans were frantically

racing to cobble together the votes, for their latest attempt to repeal and replace obamacare. and apparently, trump was getting involved in the effort as well. >> right now it's down to the wire on capitol hill. where republicans are scrambling to get votes for their revamped health care plan. >> this morning, they're considering making additional changes to the bill, hoping to win over enough holdouts to finally, push this over the finish line. >> president trump said of health care quote, "that he is doing the best i can." >> seth: at least trump is finally saying something i actually believe. i do believe that this is the best he can do. [ light laughter ] seems like part of what's motivating trump to push for this health care bill again, is his frustration with the fact that so far he hasn't been able to get any of his major legislative priorities through a congress controlled by his own party. at a white house photo op with members of the air force academy football team tuesday, trump went off on a rant about obamacare, and suggested he missed the days when he didn't have to deal with the realities of governing. >> there is no long term bailout for the insurance companies that

the democrats desperately wanted to subsidize, donors, the badly failing obamacare. do you know what a donor is, fellows? [ light laughter ] you'll learn when you get a little older. you'll learn about donors. >> seth: hey man, they know what donors are. [ light laughter ] they're air force cadets, not space cadets. [ laughter and applause ] in fact -- trump -- trump seems to be discovering every day that the deals he promised to make as a candidate aren't quite as easy as he thought they'd be. and it isn't just trump who's been flailing. paul ryan and the republican congress have had seven years to come up with a plan to replace obamacare, and they had nothing. the whole thing is like the suitcase of a kid who says he's running away from home. it looks like he has a plan, but if you open that suitcase up, all you're going to find is some loose legos and a sleeve of ritz crackers. [ laughter ] so now, in a scramble to come up with something, anything, that will pass, trump and the gop

have actually made the bill even worse to appeal to hard-line conservatives. this new bill would allow states to waive out of obamacare's ban on pre-existing conditions. in a recent study found that premiums would rise for people with asthma by $4,000, diabetes by more than $5,000, and pregnancy by $17,000. so basically, in order to afford having a baby, that baby would have to immediately get a job. [ laughter ] and i don't have to tell you this, babies have no skill sets. [ light laughter ] the only job my 1-year-old would be qualified for is guy who drops bananas on the floor. [ light laughter ] now, trump has claimed, falsely, that the bill guarantees coverage for pre-existing conditions, which it does not. and yet, he also said that he doesn't want the federal government dealing with health care at all and wants to leave it to the states instead. >> we ultimately want to get it back down to the -- >> is it a guarantee? >> look -- >> 'cause -- >> if you hurt your knee, honestly, i'd rather have the federal government focused on north korea, focused on other things than your knee. okay?

or than your back, as important as your back is. >> seth: why does he think the federal government was focused on people's backs? [ light laughter ] is it because he saw joe biden giving out all those shoulder rubs? [ laughter ] now if this health care bill seems like a mess to you, you're not alone. which may be why the trump white house is trying to assure voters they have everything under control. in fact, yesterday, trump budget director mick mulvaney, took questions about the budget deal republicans and democrats hammered out. and when asked what the message of the budget deal was, mulvaney said this -- >> i think the message that we're sending, is that we are competent. we know what we're doing. and the country is safe in our hands. >> seth: it's not reassuring when the government has to tell you, "we know what we're doing." [ light laughter ] that's like a doctor telling his patient, "relax. i went to medical school." [ laughter ] "now nurse, hand me the sharp knifey thingy." [ light laughter ] now one thing this budget did accomplish, thankfully, was extending a health care program for coal miners. mulvaney championed that as a victory for trump, but also admitted that they had used the program as leverage, to get

something in return. >> miners health, one of my favorites -- the democrats walked out of the room and said they protected the miners' health, okay? so did the president. the president is asking me, since the day i got here, for a way to fix the miner's health -- health issue -- problems -- that they have in appalachia. and we were simply waiting for the opportunity to give it, as part of a bipartisan discussion, so that we could get something in return. >> seth: so he just admitted they used the health of america's coal miners as a bargaining chip. mulvaney sounds like a bond villain who explains his plan while bond escapes. [ light laughter ] "you see, the coal miners were merely a pawn, mr. bond. and now it is time for you to -- where did he go?" [ light laughter ] "oh, no!" now if that all sounds bad to you, i have a feeling the white house agreed, because mulvaney's appearance, white house press secretary sean spicer, was supposed to take questions, but instead he just walked out leaving the press corps to shout his name.

>> will you guys just email where that wall is from exactly, so we can identify location? appreciate it. thank you so much. [ talking over each other ] >> sean? hey, sean! sean! sean! >> come on, sean! >> no! >> sean. >> seth: come on, sean! [ laughter ] sean, come on! don't take the basketball home, sean! sean spicer must hear that sound in his nightmares. >> hey, sean! no, sean! >> sean! >> sean! come on, sean! >> seth: "remember 5.1 million people at the inauguration!" [ light laughter ] so if you're a trump supporter, how do you make sense of these constant contradictions on things like health care policy? well, let former republican congressman and trump supporting radio host joe walsh explain his technique. >> as a trump supporter, i do my best not to pay attention to what he says. >> seth: there you go. [ laughter and applause ] there you go. he just -- he just doesn't

listen to what the president says. trump supporters are basically in an open marriage with him. he does his thing. i do my thing. we don't talk about it. and once a month we get together for a rally and it works. [ light laughter ] but as muddled as the gop message is on health care, i do think there is actually one theme that is starting to come through clearly. you see, part of the problem for republicans is that they're trying to hide a core truth about their bill, as well as a core truth about republican ideology, which is that they simply don't think it's government's job to ensure that people get affordable health care. normally, they don't admit that openly, but on monday alabama congressman mo brooks, a hard-line conservative, admitted in a moment of honesty, that he has no problem with people with pre-existing conditions paying more for their health insurance. >> my understanding is that it will allow insurance companies to require people who have higher health care costs to contribute more to the insurance pool that helps offset all these costs, thereby reducing the cost to those people who lead good lives, they're healthy, you

know, they've done the things to keep their bodies healthy. and right now, those are the people who have done things the right way that are seeing their costs skyrocketing. >> seth: people who lead good lives? so what does that mean? people who are sick lead bad lives? if that were really how it worked, donald trump would have died three years before he was born. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] so that's -- that's why the gop health care message is so muddled. in reality, they just don't believe the government should make sure people get health care. but they can't come out and admit that, because it's not a very popular opinion. so they lie, which raises the question, how can trump supporters believe him? >> i do my best not to pay attention to what he says. [ light laughter ] >> seth: good idea. this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night" everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ the average family's hectic home:

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you know our first guest tonight from his work on the nbc hit "parks & recreation" and the films "jurassic world" and "guardians of the galaxy." he returns as peter quill, aka star lord, in the highly-anticipated "guardians of the galaxy vol. 2," which is in theaters and imax 3d friday. let's take a look. >> sorry if it seemed like i was flirting with the high priestess. i wasn't. >> i don't care if you were. >> well, i feel like you do

care. that's why i'm apologizing. so sorry! >> gamora is not the one for you, quill. there are two types of beings in the universe. those who dance, and those who do not. >> mm-hmm. mm-hmm. >> i first met my beloved at a war rally. >> oh, god. >> everyone in the village flailed about dancing except one woman. my hovat. i knew immediately she was the one for me. the most melodic song in the world could be playing. she wouldn't even tap her foot. [ light laughter ] wouldn't move a muscle. one might assume she was dead. [ laughter ] >> does sound pretty hot. >> seth: please welcome back to the show our friend chris pratt, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

>> seth: nobody -- that fast. >> yeah. [ cheers ] i'm sorry, guys. we'll do it again next time. >> seth: welcome back, buddy. >> thank you, thank you. >> seth: congrats. i'm so excited for another chapter in this film. >> yeah. >> seth: and really exciting -- kurt russell plays your dad. >> kurt russell plays my dad! >> seth: i mean, that's the best. >> it is the best. >> seth: you got to play catch with him in the film. >> yeah! >> seth: you played -- it was not -- it's like an energy ball, it's not -- >> right, it's not -- it's not a baseball, which would be fitting because he played professional baseball. >> seth: he did. he was like a minor league baseball player. >> he's the -- he's -- yeah. he's the ultimate man's man. i asked him to be my real dad, and, uh -- [ laughter ] it's pretty cool. >> seth: how'd it go? did he answer? did he give you an answer? >> he got -- it was a little weird. little weird. [ light laughter ] waiting to hear back. not super hopeful. >> seth: gotcha. now, what were you playing with in this -- did you actually ever -- because i would be intimidated to throw a baseball to somebody who actually is good at it. >> yeah, right. well, we were using this prop

that was about the size of a softball. and we essentially played catch -- >> seth: gotcha. >> -- all day long. >> seth: and how was your throwing game? is it okay? >> you know, it's not as good as his, but it was -- but, uh, i held -- i did okay. >> seth: okay, that's good. >> i did all right, i feel like. yeah, it was -- i played a little bit of baseball growing up. i was certainly no, you know, major league baseball player, minor league baseball player. i played in the minor leagues in little league. >> seth: okay, there you go. [ laughter ] >> but yeah. i don't know if that counts. >> seth: that's when it's l-i-l, apostrophe. that's the minor leagues. >> yeah, yeah. lil' league. [ light laughter ] >> seth: so, and you did some not just throwing, you did some other stunts in the film, right? >> yeah! oh, yeah. it's a really stunt-heavy movie. through the course of the whole film, everyone -- i mean, we were suspended from wires, we did a whole, a whole bunch of stunts. and -- >> seth: all go good? >> not necessarily. [ laughter ] yeah, no. [ laughter ] i -- i got my bell rung pretty good one time. >> seth: all right. >> got essentially knocked out. >> seth: to the point that you would not do your own stunts again, or -- >> oh, no. no, no, no. >> seth: you just keep at it?

>> i'll keep at it. you know, actually, to be honest with you, i am getting to that point now in my -- my wife is actually credit for this, where it's like, you gotta -- you gotta stop doing that. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> because stunt people are way better than me at it. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> i can't -- i'm getting bumps and bruises and they're lasting much longer. like, you know, maybe for the rest of my life. those kinds of things. [ laughter ] and i gotta be careful of these things. >> seth: also, i didn't even think of that. the stunt guys must not be psyched when you show up and want to do their job for the day. >> no, i don't think so. i think that, you know, i -- you always want to let them do a version of it, 'cause it's my understanding they get, like, bumps for doing stunts. so if you go in there and try to do it yourself, you're kind of taking away their job. and usually when you do it, it's for your own ego, and they let you do that. and then the stunt person comes in and does it and that's what they're gonna use in the movie. >> seth: right, yeah. [ laughter ] >> so it's just another way for us actors to feed our ego. [ laughter ] >> seth: there you go. >> because there aren't enough. >> seth: not only kurt russell, stallone. sylvester stallone is in the film. >> stallone! tango and cash. >> seth: tango and cash. >> in the same movie! >> seth: that -- i mean, that's

just -- for people our age -- >> if that's not enough reason to make you go to this movie -- >> seth: yeah. >> then you are not my friend. >> seth: there you go. [ laughter ] >> that is -- that was my childhood growing up. and coincidentally, you know, the childhood of peter quill. it's really -- his whole ideology is based on these pop icons from that '80s era, and sly stallone and kurt russell? i mean, those guys had such, such an influence on my childhood. >> seth: yeah. they -- for me, they just -- every time i think of those two guys, especially tango and cash, i just think of a blockbuster video. and just like that -- >> yeah. >> seth: everything they did was a trip to the video store and being so excited to have it and be able to go home and watch it. >> oh, completely. yeah. stallone? i mean, stallone. from, you know, tango and cash and "lock up" and movies like that. >> seth: yeah. >> and you know, of course "rocky," but "rambo." that was, for me, "rambo"? >> seth: "rambo" is the big film? >> "rambo" was my -- yeah. that was -- that made me who i am today i think. >> seth: really? >> yes! [ laughter ] >> seth: how did -- [ cheers and applause ] >> dude. any "rambo" fans out there? [ cheers and applause ] oh.

so good! i had a survival knife. >> seth: really? >> yeah. >> seth: that's interesting you said that, because when you said you were into "rambo," the kids i knew who were into "rambo" were the kind of guys who would also have a knife. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, we did. it was like, the survival knife. and you unscrew the top -- compass. >> seth: oh, that's right. >> to get you -- so you can navigate your way to safety. >> seth: uh-huh. [ light laughter ] >> and waterproof matches. little fish hook and some line. just in case you were stuck out in the woods for a long time. you're gonna catch diner. >> seth: oh, wow. >> yeah. a sewing kit, should you fall off a cliff and cut your arm the way he did in "first blood." you're gonna sew that back together. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and that won't get infected. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> sitting next to the fish hook and your rusty knife. [ laughter ] super cool. >> seth: yeah, the original draft of "rambo" was all about the infection he got. >> yeah, yeah. he died. >> seth: he died right away. >> yeah, it didn't test well. >> seth: no, it didn't. nobody liked it. >> yeah. >> seth: i want to talk -- you know, obviously you're in this situation where you meet people that you looked up to. you were a huge tim mcgraw fan. >> yeah. >> seth: fantastic country singer, country songwriter. >> yeah. >> seth: one of the nicest

people i've ever crossed paths with. and you got a chance to meet him. >> yeah, i did. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] there's a tim mcgraw fan. yeah. tim mcgraw, tim and faith, they're awesome. yeah, i'm a big country music fan and a huge fan of tim mcgraw. i did meet him -- i have his cologne. >> seth: okay, see, i didn't even know he had a cologne. >> yeah. southern blend, it's really good if you get a chance. get some. it's nice. ana loves it. she always knows if i put a little southern blend on, she's gonna have to endure some lovemaking later. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. >> and we went to the oscars. and -- and it was such an amazing night. star-studded night, and there's tim mcgraw. and i'm just star-struck, you know? there's tim and faith, and i keep glancing at them. and we stayed through the whole show, and at the end, everyone's filing out and, similar to you guys here tonight, at the oscars, there's audience members, and then there are people who were invited in to present or because they're getting awards, or they're nominated for an award. so maybe 95% of the people are fans. they're just people excited to be there. now that's -- you know, i'm

looking at tim mcgraw, and as we're filing out, we're getting closer and closer. i'm like, "this is my chance to talk to tim mcgraw." [ laughter ] and he catches me staring at him a few times, and i say -- he had performed a song that night. i said, "hey, tim. that's a great song tonight." he's like, "thank you." and he kind of, like, "i'm going to avoid you. you might be a weirdo." [ laughter ] and i said, "and just a huge fan. huge fan of both you guys." "thank you, thank you." i said, "i'm wearing your cologne." [ laughter and applause ] and uh -- i'm not sure if he was just like, being polite. but he was like, "aw, thank you." [ laughter ] and then there was that moment, i was like, "oh no! 'i'm wearing your cologne'? oh, no!" really gut-wrenching embarrassing. so -- >> seth: i want to finish up by talking about your rock star son jack. >> yeah. >> seth: and this is a photo of jack. this -- you guys went to tokyo? >> yes, we went to tokyo.

look at him, he's so brave. [ audience aws ] that's a real live snake. >> seth: where did he come across a snake in tokyo? >> they have the most amazing cafes in tokyo. they have reptile cafes, owl cafes, kitty cat cafes, bunny cafes. you go and eat food at the café, and you pet animals the whole time. >> seth: wow. >> because apparently you can't sue if you get salmonella. [ laughter ] i don't know. but yeah, he went and he was holding this snake in one hand and just eating a sandwich in the other hand. >> seth: wow. and did he have any hesitation or was he fully brave the whole time? >> so brave. the whole time. and he told me, he said, "dad, i can't believe i got to hold a poisonous snake." i was like, "you thought that was poisonous?" [ laughter ] he was so brave about it. it's amazing. you thought there was a chance it was poisonous? [ laughter ] awesome, kid. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. i need to warn him, because there are rattlesnakes in southern california. >> seth: yeah. >> like, you just can't pick up a snake when you grab a sandwhich. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> beware. >> seth: now i feel like he's like, "that's the only way i can eat. sorry, dad. you shouldn't have taken me there. [ laughter ] i have to have a snake when i have my sandwich."

congrats on everything. >> thanks, seth. >> seth: always good to see you, chris. >> always good. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: chris pratt, everybody. "guardians of the galaxy vol. 2" is in theaters and imax 3d everywhere friday. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ischemic strokes

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. please give it up for the 8g band, right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also with us tonight and all week, he is the highly regarded drummer from the brooklyn based band, paris monster, whose latest single "ain't no moving me" can be found on itunes, and bandcamp.com, josh dion, everybody. thank you so much. >> thank you. >> seth: our next guest is a very funny and talented actress you know from the hit show, "two broke girls." her health and wellness book, the total me-tox, is available in stores now. please welcome back to the show, beth behrs, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hello there! i'm so happy to be back with you.

>> seth: it's so nice to have you. last time you were just an actress and now you're an author. >> oh my gosh, just hearing you say that that makes me have a panic attack. >> seth: do you feel like an author now that you finished a book? >> no, i still feel like a actress-comedian. [ light laughter ] but i did love writing the book. i mean i wanted it to be funny and approachable. and i mean, i was, you know, a nanny sharing a one bedroom when i got too broke and "two broke girls" too broke, that's the slang. >> seth: is that -- i guess we find out what you guys call it behind the scenes. >> yes, and you know, i was eating like a 10-year-old boy, two sugar donuts a day, funnel cakes for lunch. like no joke, anything across service doritos. whatever i could get my hands on. and i got, no joke, like a "game of thrones" greyscale rash all over my body. it was very attractive in that waitress uniform. >> seth: you just got like a rash from eating bad? >> well, it was from deep-rooted stress. my whole world changed. i went from, you know, nanny to then full time, as you know when you get a big tv job, your whole stress level changes. >> seth: it's so funny, i will say, i hope the parents that you were a nanny of aren't watching

and saying, "why was it so low stress to take care of my kids?" >> i never thought of that, but i love you guys. >> seth: it was like, i was just taking care of the well-being of children, but now it was a t.v. show. >> they were actually awesome. and one of the girls just went to prom, and i like cried seeing her instagram, 'cause like i knew them when they were kids. anyways. i, yeah, and so my doctor basically said like you have to stop eating two sugar donuts a day and you need to exercise. and then i learned transcendental meditation and i sort of changed my life slowly. and i'm still a work in progress. and so this is sort of my journey. >> seth: and this is sort of healthy eating, and healthy lifestyle, but not very serious. >> healthy but also -- right. it's like still like, you know, i didn't know where kale was in the grocery store until i was 25. i didn't try it until 27. >> seth: where did you think it was? [ laughter ] because i didn't eat a lot of kale, but i think i knew where to find it. [ laughter ] >> if i tried, i thought about it. but i also like thought serrano peppers were shishito peppers and ate like seven of them one night, thinking, "oh i just got another hot one." and then my lovely fiancé was

like those were serrano peppers. >> seth: oh wow. >> so there's lots more stories like that. i'm not martha yet. i'm trying to be. >> seth: one of the things you mentioned, you in college, this is fantastic, you spent a ton of time with joan rivers. >> i did. >> seth: who strikes me as a person that would be excellent to spend a lot of time with. >> she, first of all, i miss her so much. i mean, i love her. >> seth: yeah. >> they hired me. i worked at the geffen playhouse, which is the theater, a great theater in los angeles all throughout college. and they hired me. she liked to run her lines. she was like such a hard worker. she like to run lines every single day before the show. and so i would go over to her house and she would have like no makeup on and she'd be like a grandma and be like what do you want for breakfast? and then she would make me eggs. and she was so sweet. like she would, you know, have -- if someone was giving her a pedicure manicure, she would say bring another one to do beth too. and go pick out some jewelry. i mean she literally was the kindest person ever, and this was before i was on "two broke girls." so she also had like lots of funny advice that i have not taken yet.

>> seth: what is a good piece of joan rivers advice? >> she told me, the main thing that i actually think about doing all the time but i haven't done yet is she told me to trip on the red carpet full on in front of -- [ laughter ] >> seth: uh-huh. >> -- in front of anyone that is more famous than me which is mostly everybody. [ light laughter ] and i -- i thought to myself this is like she said that's how you get in the media the next day. your picture is everywhere. you tripped in front of beyonce. >> seth: oh, my goodness. >> you're the girl who tripped in front of beyonce. do you think jennifer lawrence talked to joan rivers? [ laughter ] >> oh, my god. and she's jennifer lawrence. i could have been in "the hunger games." >> seth: that's who was running lines before you got that job. [ light laughter ] >> she was so not -- she was the kindest person. >> seth: yeah, it's one of those real delights where you see somebody who's, you know, very -- >> the persona, yeah. >> seth: -- on stange and then they're just so loving and kind. >> the best. >> seth: that is really cool you got to spend time with her. the last time you were here you were doing a show in new york. >> i was.

and you said that you loved the subway and i said that means you don't live here. >> exactly. [ light laughter ] >> seth: now you're back. >> i am. >> seth: how have you -- are you still having a love affair with our subway system? >> i do not like the subway. recently, this new york trip i was on the subway, and it was just me and another lovely man. he looked lovely. and i don't know how we were in the train alone, the car alone. but we were. and i don't know if he just decided i looked like a nice person and wouldn't say anything because i didn't, but he covered one side of his nostril and he released the other side on the subway. i had a sweater on. i literally, i wanted a surgical mask. i like went home and showered and didn't go to dinner. didn't go to my dinner plans. like i, yeah. as a hypochondriac, i don't like the subway. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> and as a human cause like -- >> seth: you must have been so excited last time, to be in love with it as a hypocondriac. >> i just -- it didn't bother me because i was like. ♪ new york subway

and like, i'm doing theater, my dream. and now i'm like, "ahh subway!" >> seth: and the amount of new york dreams that have been shot down by snot rockets. [ laughter ] i cannot tell you. >> snot rocket? i was like, "how do i delicately say what he did?" expended his -- and you're like, "snot rocket." >> seth: yeah, no, please. it's 12:30 at night, nobody cares. >> nobody cares, yeah. hey, thank you so much for being here. congrats on the book. >> thank you. thanks so much. >> seth: good to see you again. >> you too. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: beth behrs, everybody. "the total me-tox" is available in stores now. we'll be back with shane smith. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ you never know what'll inspire you. ♪ the rhythm of the waves. the language, the laughter. or the noise in the night. ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our next guest is the founder and ceo of vice media. he hosts the emmy winning news magazine series, "vice", which airs friday nights on hbo. please welcome to the show shane smith, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: i'm very happy to you have here, shane. >> i'm very happy to be here. >> seth: you live one of the more exciting globe trotting lives of anyone i know. you recently posted this photo of you falconing. >> yes. >> seth: where are you falconing here? >> in the desert. >> seth: in the desert in? >> abudabi. >> seth: in abudabi. so how -- there we go, some abudabi in the house. where, how does a -- what sort of happens to lead you into the middle of the desert to falconing? >> well we're launching vice in the middle east.

and somebody came to a party and our launch party and said would you like to go falconing? >> seth: your life rules. [ laughter ] so i said sure. and so i went out -- and we went out to the desert. and it was actually the royal family's falconing area. >> seth: uh-huh, sure. >> and so they give you a falcon. and you know, it goes off and it catches things and comes back. >> seth: does it bring you the thing it catches? >> yeah. they're trained. they're like dogs. they, you know, they train them. it's true. [ light laughter ] the one guy, the one falcon that i fell in love with, sat next, like in the car like a dog. [ laughter ] and so there's just this falcon. and they literally can just -- they go and they open up the thing and they go -- and it shoots out the top of the car. and then it flies off and it gets the bird or rabbit or whatever and then it comes back and comes back. >> seth: that's fantastic. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: do you think you're gonna get in to it full time? >> yeah, i want one. >> seth: yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] what was your falcon's name? did it have a name? >> they had long names, but the're in arabic so i'm not

gonna try. >> seth: right. there you go. you just call them like jack. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. cutie pie or --. >> seth: cutie pie, that's a good one. >> lovie lovie. >> seth: right. you know that lovie lovie is a really mean name for whatever bird it's killing and bringing back something for you. >> yeah. >> seth: oh no, here comes lovie lovey. [ light laughter ] you've been to north korea twice, correct? >> yeah. >> seth: you've recorded from inside north korea? >> yeah. >> seth: what is it like to be there? >> are you familiar with acid? >> seth: well, yeah, a little. [ light laughter ] >> it's like being on acid. it's a combination of going back in time to sort of stalinist russia or maoist china. sort of cult of personality, you know, utopian society and just bull goose lunacy. like just sheer craziness. >> seth: and how do -- i mean are you sort of -- how low a profile do you have to keep when you're there? >> the first time i was there -- we were shooting on cyber shots like on a point and shoot little cameras.

and because we weren't allowed to shoot, so we were like, i'm just going to take a picture. and when we left, they open the camera and said why do you have a 5 gig card instead of a 38 meg card which is the standard issue. and we're like, "oh, god, we're caught." but before we left, we had met these generals in the only hotel which actually had a casino and we got drunk on blueberry wine and they said -- and they said, you can come back. and because they invited us back, we got to shoot the arirang games, which are the 150,000 people in the largest stadium in the world. and they're like, i don't know if anyone's seen it, but it's like human pixels. you know they have -- and they do the whole history of korea. >> seth: oh right. so they're holding up signs, yeah. >> so there is 150,000 people doing it. and there's just you. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] just pouring down blueberry wine and watching the show. and you were instrumental in bringing dennis rodman to north korea. >> yes, so they have the hall of

treasures, which is underneath a mountain. and they have all the treasures that were given to kim il-sung over his lifetime. so they have a train like 20 stories down in the mountain that stalin gave him. and a car that mao gave him and stuff. and prominently placed is a basketball signed by michael jordan. and basketball is the biggest sport in north korea. you wouldn't have thought that but it is. and they love the bulls. [ light laughter ] so we -- because of the magic basketball. in the hall of treasures. and so, we -- so i was like okay. we'll just call the bulls and we'll go over. >> seth: yeah. >> and so surprisingly enough, michael jordan and scottie pippen didn't want to go. [ laughter ] >> seth: they didn't want to go to north korea, yeah. you said are you familiar with acid and they hung up. [ laughter ] >> yeah, and so -- but dennis rodman said sure. >> seth: he strikes me as the bull that would say yes. [ light laughter ] >> he's up for anything. >> seth: yeah, sure. >> and so he said yes and we got

the harlem globetrotters. and they went over and they played a game. and kim jong-un showed up and then we stayed and shot a documentary for the next week. and then we actually shot a documentary showing a side of north korea that nobody sees. and we were actually just there. we were just there on -- two weeks ago when they were sort of announcing the new rockets. >> seth: wow. so you now have enough of a relationship that you can get over there and -- >> yeah. >> seth: you bring dennis rodman to a party and all of a sudden, the door is open. [ light laughter >> you're in. >> seth: so i want to ask you about this, 'cause you have a couple shows. you have a weekly vice show and you have a daily vice show. >> yeah. >> seth: and i feel like there's this idea about millennial audiences that they like things in very small pieces and they have a very short attention span. but you have found with your program that is very popular with that demographic that that's not the case. they actually do have the time if you're telling a story that's interesting enough. >> yeah, we actually started "vice news" on youtube. and they told us, look, young people don't care about news.

they especially don't care about international news. it has to be short and it has to be snackable. and so we said great. and so we made long documentaries about north korea and sort of west africa and we had the highest engagement time on all of youtube. so people were watching it for like, you know, 24 minutes at a time. and generally, they were doing 2 minutes. so then when we ported it over to hbo, everyone said, "look, young people don't care about news and they especially don't care about international news, and they -- really, you know, has to be short for them." so we do long form documentary and it's doing great. >> seth: yeah, and not just here, is it 80 countries now? is that where you're setting up? >> "vice" is now in 80 countries. >> seth: that's amazing. >> yeah, that's too many. >> seth: yeah, well there's more to go. >> you get to go falconing, you get to lots of funs stuff. >> seth: yeah you get to falconing. again, like i said, your life is a lot cooler than mine. i've never been in a party where north korean generals have said, "you want blueberry wine?", and the next thing i know i'm in a stadium. [ light laughter ] so yeah, i'm pretty jealous. but thank you for making time for us. i appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] shane smith, everybody.

"vice" airs friday nights on hbo. we'll be right back. ♪ the new galaxy s8 has the world's first infinity screen, which makes your world infinitely bigger. a camera fast enough to catch this, and intelligent enough to understand what it sees. it connects you to home, and takes you anywhere you can imagine, which makes it infinitely amazing. ♪

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>> for more "late night" go to latenightseth.com. follow us on instagram and twitter @latenightseth. and be sure to check us out on youtube and facebook. head over to itunes to subscribe to the "late night with seth meyers" podcast. you'll get a closer look and more downloaded right to your phone everyday. ♪

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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to chris pratt, beth behrs, shane smith everybody. josh dion, and of course, the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: what's happening, folks? my name's carson daly. this fine program here is "last call." you've tuned in. thank you very much. the rundown for tonight is "superstore" star, lauren ash,