Skip to main content

tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  October 23, 2020 11:34pm-12:36am PDT

11:34 pm
way of gusty winds. but by sunday morning we'll start to see the wind build here off to the north. you can see the red color those are those 30 to 40 mile per hour gusts sunday morning. then into sunday night that's where we could get into trouble with 50 mile per hour gusts over the north bay, east bay and santa cruz mountain peaks. we'll keep with that wind monday morning, and eventually by monday night and tuesday we'll start to see that wind diminish. i've got more updates at, garvin. and we've got extra staffing this weekend into early next week as well to get this all covered for everyone. >> this is so important. this is something we're going to have to stay on top of. for ow viewers is a great place to follow jeff on twitter. have a good night. ♪
11:35 pm
♪ [ cheers and applause >> steve: from rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show" starring jimmy fallon tonight, join jimmy and his guests - chelsea handler, senator bernie sanders musical guest the war on drugs and featuring the legendary roots crew and now, here's your host, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: that's your fault, yeah oh my goodness oh, hey. thank you very much, everyone. thank you. on a friday! that's some friday love right there. thank you. welcome to "the tonight show," everybody. let's get to the news and jokes. well, guys, everyone is still talking about last night's presidential debate. but based on the early ratings,
11:36 pm
it had about 7 million fewer viewers than the first one it's not that 7 million people chose not to watch, it's that after the first debate they left the country [ laughter ] but based on some snap polls, trump won the debate by 98% to 2% that's according to the fair polling site " [ laughter ] but this is interesting, the trump campaign announced that yesterday was their biggest online fundraising day ever, pulling in $26 million wow, he really has the bird killing wind at his back [ light laughter ] yep, trump raised $26 million. today, he was like, "spend a a million on tv ads, put the rest in my chinese bank account. did you see this two of trump's guests last night were kid rock and golfer john daly. take a look at this. [ laughter ] they look great. i think they bought those clothes at qanon members only. [ laughter ] yep, trump wanted kid rock's support, mostly because he
11:37 pm
thinks kid rock is dwayne johnson's son [ laughter ] i shouldn't make fun of them in 2024, that's going to be the republican ticket. [ laughter ] meanwhile, after the debate, donald trump jr., went on fox news and he was really pumped about his dad's performance. i mean, really pumped. watch this >> the media runs right away it's russian disinformation. there's literally zero evidence that it's russian disinformation the director of national intelligence said -- and by the way, more importantly, the fbi said it, and i don't say that because i think the fbi has more credibility, i say that because it's pretty clear that the fbi has done whatever they possibly could to hurt donald trump so if they're even coming out and saying this, meaning the upper levels of the fbi. the door kickers love us, not so much the bureaucrats at the top. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay was he double parked or something? [ laughter ]
11:38 pm
looks like someone has been dipping into daddy's nuclear powered steroids he sounds like a kindergartener who can't wait to tell you about his day. and then -- and then -- and then we finger painted, and then we ate lunch, and then we played outside, and then we -- and then we stuck up for russia, and then - i didn't know if i was watching "hannity" or an episode of "narcos. [ laughter ] in six months, don jr. is going to be auctioning off unclaimed storage units. [ laughter ] that was a good -- he sounds like the guy who reads the side effects on the end of a zoloft commercial [ indiscernible sounded like every conversation that's ever happened at a rave [ laughter ] well, with less than two weeks until the election, the president is campaigning as much as he can take a look. >> president trump, he is about to begin a whirlwind weekend of campaigning. he'll be heading down south for campaign events in the villages, then a rally tonight in the panhandle and pensacola
11:39 pm
he'll be staying overnight in florida, getting a chance to early vote tomorrow. he'll be holding rallies this weekend in places like north carolina, ohio, and wisconsin. and then sunday, another rally in new hampshire >> jimmy: he's starting to turn into that band where you're just like, weren't they just here the rallies aren't really changing trump's approval rating however, the coronavirus numbers are through the roof trump hasn't worked this hard since he had to be quiet for two minutes at the debate last night. [ light laughter ] this is pretty crazy a security researcher claims that he was able to get into trump's twitter account by guessing his password. check out what it was. >> a dutch security researcher was able to access president trump's twitter account last week by guessing his password maga 2020. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: if you're worried about the nuclear codes, don't be that password is maga 2020 with two exclamation points [ light laughter ] well, another big story is early voting
11:40 pm
millions of americans are doing it today one of them was mike pence here he is casting his ballot in indiana the pence's were excited they haven't done a joint thumbs up since their honeymoon. [ laughter ] "what do you think?" "all right." some news from overseas. >> questlove: okay nevermind. >> jimmy: some news from overseas, north korea has ordered a lockdown over concerns that yellow dust from china could spread the coronavirus. kim jong-un made the announcement, along with his infectious disease expert, dr. kim jong-fauci [ laughter ] if the lockdown wasn't bad enough, kim jong-un is now forcing everyone to do a zoom happy hour if you think quarantine in america is bad, over in north korea, the only thing they have on netflix is "emily in pyongyang."
11:41 pm
>> questlove: nice one >> jimmy: you can give me a thing. >> questlove: i got it >> jimmy: yeah, yeah it's just a mental -- it's a a silent - >> questlove: i got it >> jimmy: it's alright [ rimshot no, no that's right that's hackie. i know you don't want to do that. >> questlove: i take it back >> jimmy: oh, he took it back. >> yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: he actually reversed himself. he reversed himself. that was awesome hey, did you see last night the new york giants were playing some team. >> questlove: who? >> jimmy: it doesn't matter, right? the philadelphia eagles. >> questlove: yeah >> jimmy: and the giants quarterback daniel jones tried running for an 88-yard touchdown. let's see how that went. >> from the 12 jones keeps. gets a block takes off, and he is gone!
11:42 pm
trying to stay upright, and he trips! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that felt like re-watching the last season of "game of thrones." like, yes, yes, y'all! well, the holidays are coming up, and southwest airlines just made a big announcement about their flights. take a look. >> southwest airlines is dropping a pandemic policy that provided more social distancing on flights it will no longer keep middle seats empty, starting december 1st southwest says air filtering and masks have created healthy environments aboard planes >> jimmy: come on. it's southwest the whole plane is a middle seat [ laughter ] you actually don't have to worry, because even the coronavirus doesn't want anything to do with the middle seat on southwest. the middle seat on southwest i would rather be on lockdown in north korea pretty sure the only in-flight entertainment they have on southwest is "emily in pyongyang. [ scattered applause ]
11:43 pm
and finally, guinness is about to unveil its newest product let's see what it is >> guinness launching its first-ever non-alcoholic beer. it's called guinness zero. it took the company four years to re-create the same taste as it's original stout without the alcohol. >> jimmy: if you order that in ireland, you're marched through town while everyone throws rotten vegetables at you shame, shame guinness without booze here's how irish people are reacting >> come on >> jimmy: there you go we have a great show give it up for the roots, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: we have a great show for you tonight. i want to show you this right here this is my new book. this is "5 more sleeps 'til christmas.
11:44 pm
can you see it [ cheers and applause it comes out on tuesday. it's not even out yet. so i don't even know why i'm really talking about it. you know why i'm talking about it, though >> tariq: do we get a copy >> jimmy: just preorder it no, not everyone in the audience gets copies no there's not that many people here it's not out yet, so i can't even give it away. but this is -- what's happening is shipocolypse. >> tariq: yeah, with shipping. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly right. yeah, the shipocolypse and everyone is -- >> tariq: i thought you said something else >> jimmy: but you guessed shipping >> tariq: no no yeah i figured it out hey, when it comes out, is it going to be like a real book with gloss and all [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: real books don't have gloss. >> tariq: i mean, high quality >> jimmy: i mean, it's going to be like your album covers. [ laughter ] >> tariq: what's an album cover. [ laughter ]
11:45 pm
>> jimmy: oh, really, you're so young you don't know what that is any way, it's available for preorder now it comes out on tuesday. i'm very proud of it "5 more sleeps 'til christmas. it's about two kids excited for christmas. and i'm excited about it i'm excited about it [ cheers and applause i got three more sleeps until i can talk about five more sleeps we have a great show for you tonight. you can see her new stand-up special "chelsea handler: evolution" on "hbo max." chelsea handler is here tonight. [ cheers and applause plus, here to talk about the election, senator bernie sanders is on the show. [ applause ] and their new album, "live drugs," comes out november 20th. we have music from the war on drugs. [ cheers and applause guys, it is the end of the week and, that's usually when i catch up with some personal stuff. you know, i check my inbox or return some emails, and, of course, send out "thank you notes. well, i was running a bit behind, so i thought if you guys wouldn't mind, i would like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. james, can i get some thank you note writing music, please ♪
11:46 pm
you moved a little bit a little bit of movement there ♪ thank you, candy corn, for looking like a 5-year-old's finger painting of donald trump [ light laughter ] m♪ thank you, apple picking, for giving couples who are tired of getting into fights at ikea an outdoor alternative. [ light laughter ] i'm going to put them in the envelope later >> tariq: i mean, wow, you really are phoning it in today, huh? there's no gloss >> jimmy: no, it's not -- no, there is never going to be gloss. >> tariq: okay so how come you're not putting them in the envelope now because of shipocolypse? >> jimmy: no i'm not doing it, because i figured, well, it just takes a a little extra beat of time. i'll lick the envelopes on the next two
11:47 pm
>> tariq: dude, after like 17 years of, like, you know, thank you notes where you put it in the envelope now we can't even look forward to that on a friday. great. >> jimmy: tariq, not everything can be as glossy as your shoes [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause >> questlove: i saw you searching and searching and searching. [ laughter ] you got me you got me okay ♪ >> jimmy: alright, come on, james. ♪ thank you, dunkin's new spicy ghost pepper donuts for explaining their new slogan, american gets runs on dunkin [ laughter ] that's for you
11:48 pm
♪ thank you, pumpkin carving, for teaching kids that halloween isn't just about taking candy from strangers it's also about playing with knives [ light laughter ] ♪ thank you, leaves turning red, or as trees put it, "omg, this is so embarrassing." america gets runs. ♪ thank you, removing the a.c. window unit at the end of summer, for being the only chore that leads to a possible manslaughter charge if i do it wrong. [ laughter ] pack everything up, we're moving
11:49 pm
♪ thank you, hot stone massages, for the calming sensation of being branded. [ applause ] there you have it. those are my "thank you notes," everybody. we have a great show come on back more "tonight show." m♪ i can't believe it. what? that our new house is haunted by casper the friendly ghost? hey jill! hey kurt! movies? i'll get snacks! no, i can't believe how easy it was to save hundreds of dollars on our car insurance with geico. i got snacks! ohhh, i got popcorn, i got caramel corn, i got kettle corn. am i chewing too loud? believe it! geico could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.
11:50 pm
introducing walmart+. a new membership with mobile scan and go. just scan, pay and be on your way. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i like big jeans. itty-bitty jeans. ♪ ♪ feelin' trendy y'all, with the straight jeans ♪ showin' off those curves, 'cause you the queen ♪ ♪ everyone go slay in your old navy jeans ♪ welcome to denim america. with fits for the whole fam. only at old navy and
11:51 pm
everyone said i was crazy. when i started this commute, so fifteen years ago, i got my first subaru and i did it anyway. my outback always got me there. so when it was time, of course i got a new one. because my kids still need me. and i need them. (avo male) welcome to the 2020 subaru outback. the most reliable outback ever. go where love takes you. (avo female) get 0% apr financing for 63 months on select new 2020 models. now through november 2nd.
11:52 pm
11:53 pm
♪ >> jimmy: my first guest is one of my favorites. she's a five-time number one "new york times" best selling author, and a very, very talented comedienne. her new standup special "chelsea handler, evolution" is streaming now on hbomax. here is the always entertaining chelsea handler! hi, chelsea. welcome back to the show you look great, bud. thanks so much for coming on the show, and actually i want to thank you for coming on the show back when we first started doing the show from home, from the -- where we started the quarantine, early in the quarantine >> yeah, you weren't in a good way when the quarantine started. i remember
11:54 pm
you were like -- i was like, "he better get back to work soon." you were like, "how long am i going to have to stay home?" i mean, seriously. i remember getting off of our zoom and i was like, "he's not going to like this he's not liking quarantine at all. >> jimmy: that was challenging, man. but i did -- now i look back and i go, "oh, yeah, i think it was fun, the home shows. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but i don't remember them really. it just like -- just happened so fast. it was just me -- it was nancy and i. there was no one -- did i say me and nancy just me and nancy. >> it's just nancy and me is really what you should be saying i mean, i hate to constantly go over grammar with you. it's exhausting. >> jimmy: we just started the interview. that's one >> i know. >> jimmy: i get three strikes. >> in this interview, you get three strikes. in our history - >> jimmy: in our history, oh, forget it. i'm already -- oh, please. are you kidding me i'm awful. i'm bad with that. i've got to figure that out. next time i talk to you, you can test me on grammar and see if i'm getting better. >> all right, that sounds like a fair shake thank you. >> jimmy: that sounds like a a really exciting part of the
11:55 pm
interview. >> yeah, it sounds like an episode people are going to be dying to see >> jimmy: "oh did see it chelsea grammar episode? >> chelsea -- chelsea grammar. i can team up with kelsey grammer and we can both double team you on your grammar. >> jimmy: do you have your halloween costume yet? if not, you could be chelsea grammar. >> that's it >> jimmy: i'm just saying. are you a halloween person i feel like you were and now you're not >> it's weird that you would think that, but i'm not into dressing up. i feel like it's degrading you know what i mean >> jimmy: yeah >> i'm not into costumes you're a good sport, and i don't have a good sport attitude i'm kind of like a scrooge when it comes to people telling me what to do on a certain day of the year i take offense to that [ laughter ] it's like christmas, "no, don't tell me when i'm supposed to give my friends and family gifts and celebrate something i don't each believe in. >> jimmy: i agree with you "mother, don't tell me what you want for christmas that's the whole idea -- no, i'm giving a gift.
11:56 pm
i'm just giving and either you take it and 'go wow, okay.'" >> yeah. >> jimmy: you get what you get >> this christmas is going to be different because like -- you know, like you, i spent a lot of time with my family but i spent a lot of time, they descended upon my house when quarantine started my sister, simone, who i used to like a lot more, and her three children they lived with me for two months and that was, you know, wonderful to see my house being used in that way but it was a lot of time with children that i chose not to have on my own, you know so it felt like, wait a second, i made the right decisions in my life, yet i'm being punished and then over the summer, we went on for like a two-week family vacation with my entire family >> jimmy: aww. >> and with all my nieces and nephews. so for christmas, they're like, "what's the plan for christmas? and we usually go for canada i'm like, "we can't get into canada this year, because we're pariahs. we can't go skiing." i said, "so i guess everyone is on their own this year for covid. you know, we already had the
11:57 pm
vacation at martha's vineyard. and my brother actually had the audacity to say to me, "what about you coming east and we all go skiing in vermont?" i go, "i don't think you're getting the message. i'm not celebrating christmas with you guys, okay? i want to be alone." >> jimmy: no you're like, "i don't go to you, we go to a place. but i'm not gonna go -- what are we -- i think you're going to go. >> i'm not going to vermont. i'm not. >> jimmy: turns out i don't know you at all. >> no, you don't it doesn't seem like the more we talk the less it seems like you know [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i've read the books, i've seen the specials, i watch the show i've watched -- i've seen everything, the whole -- the evolution. i'm not segueing yet, but the evolution of your career i've been there. we're getting close. >> you have. >> jimmy: i have the long setup. so i say evolution, then eventually we'll get to the setup. but not yet. >> okay, should i just wait here should i just wait here? >> jimmy: yes. you should just wait there i was thinking is my grammar correct on that? you're very open about how therapy has helped you become a more patient person in some ways
11:58 pm
is that something that you have to work on all the time and still do >> well, yes i mean, for sure if i could have learned how to get a handle on my patience, anyone can and you know, you think you're doing well, like i -- you know, i'm making a lot of improvements, i'm less reactive but when i came home the last trip, i had been gone two months i went and shot my special, i went on my family vacation, then i rented a house in maine for a couple of weeks. and i came home and my assistant had had all the decks painted black, dark, dark black. paint on my wood, my epay wood, and my house and this is -- and i think, you know, like "oh, i'm reasonable i'm a rational person. i walked outside, saw my -- and my decks, and my house, and compass, everything. and i went off i was like, "how could you think that i would think that this would look good black paint! >> jimmy: yeah >> i go, "it's too hot to even walk on. the dogs are going to scald
11:59 pm
their little baby paws." and then -- i couldn't believe it i go, "how could you think i would like paint?" >> jimmy: yes. >> "how could you paint wood and how could paint it this color? >> jimmy: "am i a person that looks like they like painted wood don't you know me? >> yeah, and i looked -- and i'm like - as soon as it's out and i'm screaming and saying these words and being such a small person and i'm worried about my stupid decks when we're in the middle of a pandemic, i was like "shut up, shut up, shut up, you're being a bitch shut up, shut up stop talking stop talking." and i'm like, "you think you're all, you know, fixed or better and then you have a slip-up like that," and that was embarrassing i had to apologize to my assistant 'cause i had an outburst like i hadn't had in years. so it's a work in progress >> jimmy: yeah, i have to call your therapist, 'cause i have the same problem did you -- let's get into something less stressful did you watch the debate last night? [ light laughter ] >> you know what i took myself out to dinner instead of watching the debate, because i heard that idiot talk for four years and i don't need to hear him say another word i mean, seriously.
12:00 am
my blood pressure, you could already tell when i get aggravated it's not good for anybody. >> jimmy: no >> so i can't watch him talk no thanks. >> jimmy: i think -- go. >> and you know, you heard about my ex-boyfriend, right 50 cent and his support of donald trump how he tweeted about it. >> jimmy: yeah, what's going on i saw your tweets and i go, "wait, what's happening? 'cause you said he was your favorite ex-boyfriend. and then he -- what does he do he's supporting trump? >> he says he doesn't want to pay 62% of taxes, which by the way, isn't a plan of joe biden's. that's a lie so he doesn't want to pay 62% of taxes because he doesn't want to go from being 50 cent to 20 cent and i -- and i had to remind him that he was a black person so he can't vote for donald trump and that he shouldn't be influencing an entire swath of people who may listen to him because he's worried about his own personal pocketbook so i haven't heard back from him yet, but i am willing to, you know, seal the deal in more ways than one if he changes his mind and publicly denounces donald trump
12:01 am
i might be willing to go for another spin, if you know what i'm talking about. >> jimmy: chelsea, i want to talk about your new standup special, which is -- i have so many questions about it and how you pulled it off. and do you mind sticking around for two more minutes >> i would love to >> jimmy: more with chelsea handler when we come back stick around, everybody. ♪ ♪ my finger is on the button ♪ ♪ my finger is on the button ♪ push the button ♪ ♪ the time has come to ♪ ♪ galvanize ♪
12:02 am
no uh uh, no way come on, no no n-n-n-no-no only discover has no annual fee on any card. leggo! a big mac! no pickles please. there you go. medium fries. con ketchup. and an oreo mcflurry. of course! ooof the j balvin meal. get it on the mcdonald's app and the mcflurry is on me. i'm lovin it! get it on the mcdonald's app and the mcflurry is on me. i think you mean the new alexa. it's a buick. it's an alexa. check it out. alexa, turn on the outdoor lights. ok. that's cool, but i'm pretty sure it's a buick. clearly an alexa. alexa, get directions to the 8-18 grill. getting directions.
12:03 am
it's a buick. the first-ever encore gx, available with alexa built-in. nice buick. it's an alexa. now get nearly 3,300 purchase cash on the 2020 encore gx. ask: alexa, tell me about buick suv's who know an open mind is the only kind. who don't need to travel to find something new. who know where to escape, even just for a moment. who don't need a fortune to find a gem. and who know when you spend less, you can discover even more. and never, ever stop discovering. spend less, discover more. at t.j. maxx, marshalls, and homegoods. to defeat your opponent, ♪ you must become your opponent. ♪ what's your wild rabbit? ♪
12:04 am
♪ ♪ smooth driving pays off with allstate, the safer you drive the more you save you never been in better hands allstate click or call for a quote today uber and lyft are like every big guy i've ever brought down. prop 22 doesn't "help" their drivers-- it denies them benefits. 22 doesn't help women. it actually weakens sexual harassment laws, which are meant to protect them. uber and lyft aren't even required to investigate sexual harassment claims. i agree with the la times: no on 22. uber and lyft want all the power. so, show them the real power is you. vote no on prop 22.
12:05 am
♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. i'm talking with chelsea handler. chelsea, congrats on the new standup special "evolution." standup, i mean -- by the way, it's your first standup in six years. i can't believe that why has it been six years? >> well, because i didn't have really anything to say you know, i kind of needed a
12:06 am
a time-out from everything you know what it's like to be on a show every single day so i kind of just burned out in a big way. but when i did my book tour last year and i was doing the tour being interviewed by people, like, about what was in the book and as i was telling these stories, i'm like, "oh, i'm warming up my set in an interview style so that i can get some legs underneath it before i get up and try standup again because i hadn't done it so long. i didn't even know if anyone would want me to do it or want to see anything i was doing. you know, or if i could sell tickets in the same way because i wasn't on a tv show all the time so it was a real humbling, like, foray out there. you know, like putting myself out there in that way was good for me because i needed to kind of get a little humbled. you know what i mean i wanted to really give something during this time you know, i wanted to put something out there that was going to bring some relief and some joy and some humanity to this dark time that we're all living in. >> jimmy: we need it right now we need it it's so funny, the special, but
12:07 am
also, it's -- raw and kind of emotional. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you do talk about your older brother, who died when you were nine and the impact it had on you and the family you went there >> yeah. i mean, it always was a thing for me you know, i remember watching "steel magnolias," you know that scene where julia roberts' character dies and sally field is hysterically crying, and she's just, like, "i just want to hit somebody, i just want to hit somebody." and then, olivia dukakis is like "here, hit weeza," and throws her in her face, right. [ laughter ] so you have that pivot from that hysterical, like hysterically crying to this hysterical laughter and joy. and i thought, "oh, when i saw "hannah gatsby: special" a few years ago and she was able to do that, i thought "oh, you can do that in this medium." you can be original and make it -- i mean, you know, you can marry those moments. you can still have hysterical
12:08 am
jokes for 45 minutes and get serious for five minutes like, there's no reason that that form is, you know, it's not so rigid and defined as it used to be so it was challenging and it was just -- it feels so good that i was able to accomplish something during covid >> jimmy: because i've never seen you do anything like that usually, it's all jokes the whole thing. which i love but this was a good little thing and everyone is like -- and after reading your last book, learning more about you and your family, it's a person up there but you did it perfectly you wrote the line perfectly and you did it in new jersey >> thank you i did it in new jersey i thought it was a nice homecoming i wanted to like have a night out in my hometown where people could come, you have to quarantine to even be in my audience so these people, some of them hadn't been out for covid the whole time and then, bringing them into this beautiful outdoor train station, i call it liberty station. and my view was of the manhattan skyline.
12:09 am
so it just felt great to like bring that kind of relief. and it just reminded me of, like, "oh, yeah, you know, we've got to, like -- people are depending on us to bring joy and laughter to this time. and you know, you know it as well as i know it that it's a responsibility that we should take a lot of pride in, you know, in honoring and bring it, like bring it. bring the comedy, bring the laughter, bring me something >> jimmy: we don't have an option right now we have to do it you have to show up, yeah. it's awesome that you did this i love it, and i love -- don't forget where you came from i love that. it's so cool i want to show a clip. here's chelsea handler in her standup special "evolution" on hbo max. take a look at this. >> i'm like, i spend tons of times in hotels and i get home at like 1:00, 2:00 in the morning. i want my snack and i call down and i order what i want from room service and that's too slow. at 1:30 in the morning, there should be like a double speed, you know, where people are quicker and more alert or just quicker. then they want to repeat the order back to me it's like, "please, whatever you think you heard, just bring
12:10 am
double." [ laughter ] and don't say chicken fingers out loud again i'm 45 years old i don't want to have this conversation >> jimmy: chelsea handler, everybody. "chelsea handler: evolution" is streaming now on hbo max we'll be right back with senator bernie sanders stick around, everybody. ♪ first up is this exquisite bowl of french onion dip. i'm going to start the bidding at $5. thank you, sir. looking for $6. $6 over there! do i hear 7? $7 in the front! $7 going once. going twice. sold to the onion lover in the front row! next up is lot number 17, a spinach and artichoke dip, beautifully set in a hollowed-out loaf of sourdough bread. don't get mad get e*trade and get more than just trading investing. banking. guidance.
12:11 am
not much, how about you? are you answering my text in person? i am, yeah. lol come on in. this is tech that helps you be there. the nissan altima now offering the most tech-advanced engine in its class this halloween will be just like last. we'll buy tons of reese's cups for the youngins... (laughing) then eat them all ourselves. reese's. ♪dy-na-na-na, na-na, na-na, eh♪ ♪dy-na-na-na, na-na, na-na, eh♪ ♪dy-na-na-na, na-na, na-na, eh♪ ♪light it up, dynamite ♪shining through the city with a little funk and soul♪ ♪so i'ma light it up like dynamite♪ ♪'cause, ah-ah,♪
12:12 am
♪shining through the city with a little funk and soul♪ ♪i'ma light it up like dynamite, whoa♪ another bundle in the books. got to hand it to you, jamie. your knowledge of victorian architecture really paid off this time. nah, just got lucky. so did the thompsons. that faulty wiring could've cost them a lot more than the mudroom. thankfully they bundled their motorcycle with their home and auto. they're protected 24/7. mm. what do you say? one more game of backgammon? [ chuckles ] not on your life. [ laughs ] ♪ when the lights go down [ laughs ] gold by andwe believe... in coffee that opens more eyes to black business.
12:13 am
♪ sing it, yeah, yeah make believe made for everyone. ♪ yeah, yeah a wave of confidence... a lighter load on the planet... flavors that set a new course and a hundred shades of beautiful. we believe in good we can all afford. ♪ good to me and the veterans that never quit on their team. when being a fan gets tough, and stretching your budget gets even tougher... ...our agents put in the time and legwork for you, saving on auto insurance is easy. because saving a little extra goes a long way.
12:14 am
usaa. what you're made of, we're made for. in california, we're the only state where wealthy trust fund heirs get their own tax loophole. these tax cheats avoid millions in taxes on vacation homes and coastal mansions depriving our schools. prop 19 closes this unfair loophole that's been exploited by an elite few and helps our schools, firefighters, and seniors. vote 'yes' on prop 19. tell them [record scratch] the party's over.
12:15 am
♪ >> jimmy: my next guest is a a senator from the great state of vermont i'm pleased to welcome him back to the show. here is senator bernie sanders hey, senator sanders you look great really good to see you again thank you so much for being here >> thanks for having me, jimmy >> jimmy: there's a lot to talk about. first, i would love to get your thoughts on last night's debate
12:16 am
>> well, what i think is that it was certainly not as crazy a debate as the first debate >> jimmy: yeah >> but i continue to be astounded by the degree to which donald trump lies. just lies and lies and lies. not only his lies, his down playing of this terrible pandemic from day one is just astounding to me and i hope the american people understand that because of his irresponsibility, because of his rejection of science, his attacks on dr. fauci that tens of thousands of people have died unnecessarily >> jimmy: one of the things i admired about you is that you endorsed vice president biden, although you don't agree with him on every issue i just think that sends -- what message are you sending there? >> well, the message is that - let me be very frank, and not everybody will agree with me, but i think that donald trump is the most dangerous president in the modern history of this
12:17 am
country, and it's not just because he lies all the time it's not just because he doesn't believe in science it's not just because he's a a racist or a sexist or a homophobe or a xenophobe, it is because he is quite intentionally trying to undermine american democracy trying to suppress the vote. we are a democratic society. people have fought and died to defend our democracy, and we cannot re-elect the president who does not believe in the rule of law, our constitution, or in fact, our democracy. i have known joe for many, many years. he is a very decent guy. as you have indicated, he and i have differences of opinions on a number of issues but i can vouch for his decency and his belief in the rule of law and democracy. >> jimmy: when was the first time -- do you remember meeting joe biden, the vice president? >> i do. he was a senator and i was a a senator. he was around for a very long
12:18 am
time i was new. and the thing i think that people will learn about joe biden, he is a very, very down-to-earth guy. my wife remembers the first time that she met him, and she never talked to him at all he sat down and he chatted with her about ireland, their families both come from ireland. >> jimmy: yeah >> very human guy. a very empathetic guy. >> jimmy: although the election is november 3rd, and it's been said we won't know the results until days later when do you think we'll know the results? >> jimmy, you raise an important point, and i hope the american people understand it, because this is something i worry about. my view is every vote must be counted. for reasons which i don't have the time to get into tonight, you're going to have a a situation, i suspect, in states like pennsylvania, michigan, wisconsin, other states, where they are going to be receiving huge amounts of mail-in ballots.
12:19 am
and unlike states like florida or vermont, they're not able, for bad reasons, to begin processing those ballots until, i don't know, election day or maybe when the polls close that means you're going to have states dealing with perhaps millions of mail-in ballots. here is my worry what polls show, and what studies have shown is that for whatever reason, democrats are more likely to use mail-in ballots. republicans are more likely to walk into polling booths on election day it is likely that the first votes that will be counted will be those people who came in on election day, which will be republican and here is the fear, and i hope everybody hears this. it could well be, i don't know what is going to happen, nobody does but it could well be at 10:00 on election night, trump is winning in michigan, he's winning in pennsylvania, he's winning in wisconsin, and he gets on the television and he says thank you, americans, for re-electing me
12:20 am
it's all over. have a good day. but then the next day and the day following, all of those mail-in ballots start getting counted and it turns out that biden has won those states at which point trump says, "see, i told whole thing was fraudulent i told you those mail-in ballots were crooked and i've got -- we're not going to leave office. so that is a worry that i and a lot of people have so the results, you know, we don't know what's happened maybe the results will be known on election night. but people should be aware of that possibility >> jimmy: i know that you have been working with people running in texas why is texas important i feel like a lot of people are highlighting texas
12:21 am
>> i think that texas may be -- in many ways, texas is the future of progressive politics in america historically, because there has been a lot of voter suppression. texas is one of the states where their republican state government has, for a long time, tried to make it as difficult as possible for people to vote but you have folks over there, beto o'rourke and others are doing a great job registering people, getting people to vote the bottom line is that if texas becomes a blue state and a progressive state, as i think it can, it has a lot of young people it has a lot of latinos, a lot of african-americans it can become a progressive state. and if that happens, and if those 38 electoral votes go democratic, then we have changed the face of american politics >> jimmy: wow. i think that would be -- that would be -- i mean, are people predicting that? or this is just your people?
12:22 am
>> there's no question the trend is with us what we don't know is how it plays out this election. and to those people out there who say, "oh, texas is a a conservative state." trust me, it is not. you have some great, great progressive candidates who are running for office who stand a a great chance to win, and the future is with progressive politics in texas. >> jimmy: it will be interesting to watch what happens in texas bernie sanders, thank you so much for coming back to my show and give my best to the grandkids. i know we always talk about them every time you're on. you always smile every time i bring them up. but i appreciate you coming back on the show it means a lot to me, so thank you. senator bernie sanders, everyone we'll be right back with a a performance from the war on drugs. stick around ♪ itchy? squirmy? scratchy?
12:23 am
family not getting clean? get new charmin ultra strong. go get 'em. it just cleans better. with a diamond weave texture, your family can use less while still getting clean. goodbye itchy squirm! hello clean bottom! we all go. why not enjoy the go with charmin. with kohl's lowest prices of the season prices so low - no coupons needed! get shark vacuums - $149.99 plush throws are $9.99... and take 30% off games and toys! plus, get kohl's cash. plus, free store pickup. it's the lowest prices of the season! at kohl's. ythey customize yours lcar insurance. so you only pay for what you need. wow. that will save me lots of money. this game's boring. only pay for what you need. liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. i'm a peer educator,... a fitness buff,... and a champion for my own health.
12:24 am
i talked with my doctor... and switched to... fewer medicines with... dovato. prescription dovato is for some adults who are starting hiv-1 treatment or replacing their current hiv-1 regimen. with...just 2 medicines... in 1 pill, dovato is as effective as a 3-drug regimen to help you reach and stay undetectable. research shows people who take hiv treatment as prescribed... and get to and stay undetectable... can no longer transmit hiv through sex. don't take dovato if you're allergic to any of its ingredients... or if you take dofetilide. hepatitis b can become harder to treat while taking dovato. do not stop dovato without talking to your doctor,... as your hepatitis b may worsen or become life-threatening. serious or life-threatening side effects can occur, including allergic reactions,... lactic acid build up, and liver problems. if you have a rash and other symptoms of an allergic reaction,... stop taking dovato and get medical help right away. tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis b or c,... or if you are, may be, or plan to be pregnant. your doctor may prescribe a different medicine...
12:25 am
than dovato if you plan to be pregnant or if pregnancy is confirmed during the first trimester. dovato may harm your unborn baby. use effective birth control while taking dovato. most common side effects are headache, nausea, diarrhea, trouble sleeping,... tiredness, and anxiety. so much goes into who i am. hiv medicine is one part of it. ask your doctor about dovato-i did. no uh uh, no way come on, no no n-n-n-no-no only discover has no annual fee on any card. ♪ ♪ my finger is on the button ♪ push the button ♪ ♪ the time has come to ♪ ♪ galvanize ♪
12:26 am
introducing walmart+. with free unlimited delivery on groceries and all the things you love. ♪
12:27 am
in business you have to be athen do it all over again..
12:28 am
comcast business gives you fast, reliable internet on the nation's largest gig-speed network. and now for a limited time, you can also get fast shipping- with amazon business prime essentials. so no matter what comes next, you'll always be ready to bounce forward. get started with powerful internet and voice for $64.90 a month, and ask how you can get one free year of amazon busines prime essentials on us. call or go online today. comcast business. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: performing their new unreleased song "ocean of darkness," here is the war on drugs. [ cheers and applause ♪
12:29 am
♪ i found a way back in for just you and m got caught in a crosswin unfortunately ♪ ♪ i feel like an orphan please comfort m i was born in rolling wave ♪ ♪ the sea never end i was tired of waiting pulling the rope feeling misunderstood ♪ ♪ and now flowing away into these oceans of darkness come pulling me back for good ♪ ♪ oooh yeah ♪
12:30 am
♪ now you're just a poor boy your blood rushe through me ♪ ♪ alone in this great divid to love and understandin once i was eight years old i'd stare at the ceiling ♪ ♪ get lost in a memor remember the feeling i was tired of waiting in the old road♪ ♪ feeling misunderstood and now floating away into these oceans of darkness come pulling me back ♪ ♪ for goo oooh yeah ♪
12:31 am
♪ ♪ i got caught in thi great big wave my blood rushe through you ♪ ♪ some moments ar real moonlight before they destroyed yo i'm just a poor old boy ♪ ♪ drowning away got caught i the crossfir unfortunately ♪ ♪ i was tired of waitin in the old roa feeling misunderstoo
12:32 am
and now fading away ♪ ♪ into these oceans of darkness come pulling me back for goo yeah ♪ ♪ i'm tired of waitin my love overflowin they took you for all they could ♪ ♪ and now i'm fading away into these oceans of darkness coming pulling me back ♪ ♪ for goo oooh ♪ ♪ ♪ wooo ♪ ♪ wooo ♪ ♪ wooo ♪
12:33 am
[ cheers and applause >> jimmy: thank you to the war on drugs stick around for more "tonight show," everybody [ cheers and applause ♪
12:34 am
12:35 am
12:36 am
♪ >> jimmy: thank you all for watching stay safe out there. wash your hands. don't touch your face. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers. goodnight everybod


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on