tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC December 24, 2020 12:36am-1:36am PST
>> announcer: tonight, on "late night with seth meyers." kaley cuoco. author cazzie davis. an all new "closer look. featuring the 8g band with valerie franco and now, setmeyers >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers and this is "late night. how is everybody doing tonight that is great to hear. let's get to the news. president trump tweeted last night, "i won the election." buddy, you're still talking about that that was four years ago. also, we had another election,
and i have terrible news after president trump tweeted last night, "i won the election," twitter put a warning on the tweet that said, quote, "official sources called this election differently." wow. very passive-aggressive, twitter. next, it's just gonna be, "aw, bless his heart. there are 65 days until inauguration day that's right 65 days until one lucky agent wins the secret service lottery. in a new interview, former president barack obama said it's time for president trump to concede the election oh, good he'll listen to you. and if that doesn't work, we'll send in rosie o'donnell and jonathan van ness. president trump had lunch today with vice president mike pence trump had the pancakes, while pence had a strange feeling that none of this was worth it. "are we going to stay in touch, sir? "who the [ bleep ] are you?" [ light laughter ] white house coronavirus task force member dr. scott atlas called on people in michigan to, quote, "rise up" against new
coronavirus restrictions is he an actual doctor or is this like in comic books where "doctor" just means he's evil you know, because no one would be afraid of a guy who called himself mr. octopus. "and is there a mrs. octopus?" [ light laughter ] vice president mike pence and second lady karen pence attended the space-x rocket launch yesterday in florida it's the only thing he's ever watched that had an "x" in it. sony's playstation 5 game console was released last week, and almost immediately sold out in the u.s. and japan. also selling out in the u.s. and japan, me. the national weather service last night issued a rare tornado warning for manhattan and the bronx. though, in the case of the bronx, the warning was for the tornado. "i wouldn't hang around there too long." bays, stop writing jokes that would be better for "desus & mero." i know you want to wor -- i want to work there, too your passive aggression is not
appreciated. and finally, a man in florida last week was charged with disorderly conduct, after throwing a tantrum in the checkers drive-thru because his sandwich didn't have lettuce when the officers showed up, they told him to romaine calm. this brings us to a segment called "one of my writers explains a joke. ♪ >> seth: hey, everyone, this is matt goldich >> hi. hi >> seth: hi, buddy >> good to see you >> seth: so, i'm going to -- i'm just going to read this for you one more time. a man in florida last week was charged with disorderly conduct after throwing a tantrum in the checkers drive-thru because his sandwich didn't have lettuce when the officers showed up, they told him to romaine calm. so you want to talk us through your thought process here? >> yeah, i would love to, seth but i actually don't want to do it for my romaine joke, which i think we all would agree is solid. i want to do it for the other joke that i wrote. >> seth: oh, please don't, matt. >> no, i want to, because i think people will agree that you were wrong not to do it. >> seth: well, i think people will agree that i was right not to do it >> seth, we could go back and
forth all day. the only solution is to let me tell the joke. >> seth: all right go ahead, matt >> today was national french dip day. but i still say au jus will not replace us >> seth: want to talk us through that one, matt >> well, sure, yes so as you're aware, a french dip is a sandwich -- >> seth: uh-huh. >> that comes with a little pot of dipping sauce called au ju or au jus >> seth: mm-hmm. >> and you might also remember the tiki torch marchers, who marched around in charlottesville -- >> seth: charlottesville, sure >> chanting, "jews will not replace us." and you know, now that trump is not going to be the president anymore and anti-semitism and white supremacy will no longer be problems in america - [ light laughter ] i felt it like it was the time to make a cute little pun about it involving roast beef
sandwiches >> seth: i should note, you had to get covid tested to come in and explain this joke. >> i did twice, actually, yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, i think we can all agree it was worth it. give it up for matt goldich, everybody. ♪ >> announcer: this has been "one of my writers explains a joke. >> seth: we got a great show for you tonight. kaley cuoco will be here her new show "the flight attendant" premieres on thanksgiving over at hbo max and cazzie david will be here, as well. a very funny writer and actress, and her new book, "no one asked for this" is out tomorrow. but before we get to all that, the outgoing president is irreversibly lighting american democracy on fire, as his allies and lawyers pursue one deranged conspiracy theory after another. meanwhile, they're also letting a deadly plague ravage the country uncontrolled for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ >> seth: we're in a moment right now of colliding crises unprecedented in our lifetimes we've just concluded a
successful presidential election with a clear and decisive result, amid a deadly plague that's spreading rapidly out of control and an outgoing president who not only doesn't care but hasn't even been to a coronavirus task force meeting in at least five months. five months. what's he been doing catching up on the first three seasons of "the crown? because that's how long it takes to watch that show sorry, olivia colman, but how many establishing shots of royals staring out windows or aston martins driving up country roads to old castles can one person take? we get it. they're rich and [ bleep ] up. we have our own version of that. it's called "the real housewives of new jersey," and at least they flip over tables and get deported to italy for tax fraud. we've surpassed 11 million infections and we're nearing a quarter of a million deaths with hospital icus filling up aross the country. and the outgoing president is moping around his bedroom like a teenager who didn't get invited to chad's lake house after prom. "donald, you want to come down and help us with the pandemic? "no.
i'm facetiming with my real friends. leave me alone anyway, my mom's a real b. we're in a national crisis, the likes of which we haven't seen in 100 years and it would be nice if the outgoing president's team would cooperate with incoming president joe biden's panel of experts of scientists advising him on the coronavirus, especially now that a much-needed dose of good news -- it's reported that according to early data, we might have not one but two highly-effective vaccines the next administration needs to devise a plan on how best to distribute those vaccines, which, by the way, is something that joe biden has clearly thought a lot about. >> look, there are two types of vaccines being worked on now one is an rna model. and the other is an adnovirus, which is a way to generate the immune system's response one changes the cell structure the mrna, that requires two injections and it requires to be stored at 70 degrees below zero.
>> seth: well, i certainly didn't expect that level of scientific detail. is joe biden old sheldon he seems like a guy who would say something like, "what i know about vaccines is you roll up your sleeve and you take it like a man. but clearly, he's been studying this stuff, which is comforting. though to be fair, biden could know nothing about medicine. he can say he thought babies came out of women's stomachs because that's where the big bump was and i would still feel relieved because trump is gone. so it would be nice to have that guy working with the outgoing administration's team to curb the growth in cases and develop a plan for vaccine distribution, which is why during a "60 minutes" interview last night, president obama called on trump to finally concede as you'll recall, obama sat patiently with trump in the oval office just two days after the 2016 election, like someone in the big brother program waiting for an arraignment hearing with the high school burnout he was assigned to. "you know, when you steal liquor, you're not supposed to tweet about it you got to get your [ bleep ] together, man.
"you should get your [ bleep ] together." "what was that?" "nothing." in the past, the transition of power was done with grace and dignity. george h.w. bush wrote a beautiful letter to bill clinton, giving him sound advice dwight eisenhower left office with tremendous class and with a warning about the military industrial complex and of course as we recall, when rutherford b. hayes left office, he wrote to the incoming president james garfield, "hey, it's rutherford. the toilet near the war room is overflowing, but i swear it wasn't me. i'm mad that i'm not the president anymore, because i was so powerful when i was president. but i will leave office because i am cool and normal enjoy the white house, it's fun. you can ask the staff for whatever you want and they have to go get it i asked some random butler to get me onion skin paper and a pear from vermont and a week later, this dumb guy ran back in, so sweaty, like he had sprinted and i'm sitting there laughing so hard. damn it, i will miss being president. at least i know for sure that i
will go down as a name that all children will know, rutherford b. hayes. now, it will not surprise you to learn that trump's best buds, the "fox & friends," did not take kindly to obama's reasonable, sane advice. so they responded by making up a bunch of dumb lies about him >> the former president of the united states does bring up the fact that he wishes that president trump would concede. but keep in mind, too, he does not acknowledge his role in the aftermath during the president's so-called honeymoon, the president-elect period he does not acknowledge the fact that the president, they launched the mueller report. never gave the president one day of peace during his transition >> seth: oh, brian kilmeade. i don't know what's going on between your sewn-on button eyes, but are you saying obama never gave trump one day of peace during his transition? trump has never given us one day of peace for the last four years. he's just taken so much energy i banged my elbow on the kitchen counter one day and started sobbing. i realized quickly that it wasn't banging my elbow that made me cry, but that i still hadn't gotten over the president of my country saying that frederick douglass was still
alive and was a great guy doing a lot of important work. that happened. also, you think obama started the mueller report you know who started the mueller report a trump appointee named rod rosenstein, and it happened in may of 2017 i thought trump was a moron who watches "fox & friends," but maybe he's a moron because he watches "fox& friends. and it will ot shock you to learn trump also ignored obama's advice and scream-tweeted last night, and then again this morning, "i won the election." you can scream it all you want, doesn't make it true i'm starting to get a real cameron crowe vibe from trump. next he's going to stand on the roof of the white house, scream, "i am a golden god," and jump into a pool, except it's going to go like this. [ groaning ] >> seth: it's a fun clip let us have this so, trump's dousing american democracy in kerosene and lighting a match before our eyes now, as we all know, it's not unusual to see him swing wildly back and forth from one extreme to the other he's like the killer in a lifetime movie who offers to lay
his coat down over a puddle in one scene, and then, two scenes later, shows up in the middle of the night staring at you through the window, swaying back and forth for some reason. "we have to talk, jennifer but first, can i use your bathroom it was a long cab ride and i drank a whole gatorade." if he ever does concede, can he use that time to explain his posture to us? "my center of gravity is off because my shoulders extend beyond my feet doctors call it balcony clavicle." for example, after weeks of thinking he had the power to magically call dibs on states by using words like "hereby" and "therefore" and declare himself the winner of the election, he held a press conference on the coronavirus pandemic in the rose garden of course, rudy giuliani wasn't there because he was at the rose garden café and delicatessen in schenectady, new york. "this has to be the place. it says on the menu, 'there's only one rose garden!' and at the press conference, trump came excruciatingly close to admitting that he had in fact lost the election and that joe biden would be the next
president before he caught himself. >> ideally, we won't go to a lockdown -- i will not go -- this administration will not be going to a lockdown. hopefully the -- whatever happens in the future -- who knows which administration will be i guess time will tell >> seth: "time will tell?" that's like saying we're going to give 110% at the postgame press conference it's over and you lost i remember because i was on my couch watching cable news for all of it. i was clicking back and forth between john king and steve kornacki so fast, they started to blur together into one guy who looked like j. peterman with glasses, or the eharmony guy i memorized the names of every county in georgia and pennsylvania when i go to the grocery store now, i ask the cashier, "are those apples from dekalb or allegheny? also, there's something very weird about subdued, noncommittal trump usually he yells at us like we're on the other side of a busy freeway but now, suddenly he's like a husband helping his wife pick out shoes in a department store. "uh, you know, i think they -- they both look nice.
whatever happens, you'll be fine." the suddenly subdued tone was in itself a major shift and it seemed like maybe, just maybe, reality was slowly dawning on him one adviser even told the "new york times," "he knows it's over." that's how it's always been with our werewolf president his mood shifts are constant a week ago, after it became clear that joe biden won a decisive and resounding victory in both the popular vote and electoral college, trump repeatedly tweeted, "i won." and then six days later i guess he forgot the line of bull[ bleep ] he was supposed to be selling to his supporters, because on sunday, he began a tweet by admitting of biden, quote, "he won." and honestly, i'm not going to read you the rest of the tweet because it's just the psychotic ravings of a weirdo recluse holed up in his taxpayer-funded hideout. let's just savor for a moment the fact that the tweet started with, "he won. it's like cracking open "a tale of two cities" and stopping after "it was the best of times. i will take your word for it, mr. dickens, and go about my day. and then, realizing his mistake, trump went on yet another one of his trademark twitter benders, where he claimed the election was rigged, obsessively retweeted clips from fox news
and scream-tweeted "i concede nothing. sounds like he just lost a challenge in scrabble after putting down the word "quarf." "quarf it means to quietly barf you do it when you don't want to ruin the dinner party. these sweetbreads are delicious. what are they? lamb throat? quarf. now as we told you last week, trump's meltdown has in large part been a fundraising scam his campaign has been bombarding supporters with texts and emails, not just soliciting but demanding donations to supposedly defend the integrity of the election. one such e-mail read, "this is your final notice. so far, you ignored all our e-mails asking you to join us in defending the election you've ignored team trump, eric, lara, don, the vice president and you've even ignored the president of the united states." i feel like i'm supposed to read that while i'm taking off black leather gloves one finger at a time "you have ignored our warnings for the last time. now, you will pay.
we take venmo. do you have a pen? it's @maga_$$!" i mean, seriously, if i got a text or e-mail from anyone that began with "this is your final notice," i'd lock my door, grab the baseball bat under my bed, and call my strongest friend, who, unfortunately, in this case, is fred armisen. hey, fred. i just got a threatening e-mail from the trump campaign. can you come over and stay with me >> fred: seth, my god, yes, of course i'll be right over i've been practicing this new martial art. it's called chai tea >> seth: ooh, i think you mean tai chi. >> fred: oh, no, i think i've just made a terrible mistake >> there he is we're going to kick your ass, drummer boy. >> fred: no, no, no, no, wait! [ dial tone [ light laughter ] >> seth: so, the trump campaign has essentially been trying to harass its supporters into giving them money to defend the election but as it turns out, in the fine print, most of the money just goes to trump and the republican national committee >> let's quote, shall we, from a reuters report
and it says, "small dollar donations from trump's grassroots donors won't be going to legal expenses. a donor would have to give more than $8,000 before any money goes to the recount account, established to finance election challenges a large portion of the money goes to save america, a trump leadership p.a.c. and the republican national committee. >> seth: you have to at least give trump credit for consistency. everything he does is a scam, and this one is no different he went from trump vitamins to trump university to trump recount. they should just send out e-mails promising free target gift cards if you send him your birthday, debit card p.i.n. and social security number it's so perfect that trump's presidency ends with him scamming not all of his donors but just the small donors, the ones who give less than $8,000 if you're a rich guy or a giant company that gives him money or endorses him, he'll put you in his cabinet or he'll invite you to his golf course, or stage a bizarre photo op in the oval office where he wolfs down a can of uncooked beans and smiles like james bond just poured strychnine into his diet coke.
but if you're one of his regular supporters, he'll pack you into an airplane hangar full of thousands of people, amid a deadly plague, like a crowd of mets fans trying to catch the 7 train back to the city after the sixth inning "ah, really thought bobby bonilla bobblehead day would have a happier ending. fun fact, mets bobbleheads are the only ones that shake their heads like this. [ light laughter ] it's just like trump's tax cuts. when he kept promising it would be a boon to the middle class, and then at the last minute, republicans scribbled into the margins a bunch of opaque footnotes that, for all i know, allowed hedge funds to hide the profits in lock boxes buried under palm trees in the cayman islands and gave amazon a tax credit for every package it squeezed into your mailbox, despite the fact that it's obviously not gonna fit. it's an instant pot. just leave it in the vestibule the point is, trump forget the scam for a minute when he accidentally tweeted that biden won, or when he briefly slipped into almost acknowledging that he was on his way out during his rose garden press conference he's like the one member of the
bank heist who gets too hot and takes off his mask "oh, i need to breathe for a second wait, are there cameras in here? kevin? you said there wouldn't be cameras in here. answer he me right now, kevin mulligan that's your full name. trump's voter fraud lies are just like his birther lies his goal was never to actually see obama's birth certificate. and now, his goal isn't to actually prove voter fraud trump and the republican party just want to create a false mythology that will animate their supporters even after he leaves office. trump knows racism and paranoid conspiracy theories will keep them mobilized and primed for whatever his next scam is. as for what that is -- >> i guess time will tell. >> seth: this has been "a closer look." ♪ we'll be right back with more "late night. ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks," be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube.
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of accomplishments >> seth: sorry, everybody. this is one of our writers, dina gusovsky. dina, why are you not excited about kamala harris? is it because you're not a fan of her policy positions? >> no. >> seth: is it because it's ridiculous we have never had a female vice president, let alone president? >> not really. >> seth: so, then, what is it? >> all right, fine i'm just jealous, okay >> seth: well, there's no need to be jealous. i mean, you could run for office one day, too >> how come kamala harris found a jewish man to marry and i can't? >> seth: oh, boy >> do you know how hard it is to find an eligible, single, jewish male to marry? and kamala harris is already a senator. now, she gets to be vice president. doesn't she have enough? come on. leave some menshas for the trenches >> seth: look dina, senator harris' husband doug emhoff is about to become the first second gentleman of the united states and he's jewish.
i mean, wouldn't that be a historic moment for the jewish people >> sorry, seth, i didn't hear most of what you said. i got a little distracted after you said the name, doug emhoff woo. is it hot in here? or is it just me >> seth: really? you think doug emhoff is hot >> are you serious look at him. the man is a stone-cold hunk i mean, can you blame me for being jealous? >> seth: that guy? >> seth, he checks all my boxes. successful corporate litigator check. grown children who are already out of the house check. and i mean, come on. the graying temples, the broad but soft shoulders, the polished smile that says, "i personally know an orthodontist." mm, mm, mm >> seth: wow, i can't believe that guy turns you on. >> seth, i don't want to get too graphic. but right now, compared to me, cardi b. is like the kalahari desert >> seth: dina, that was extremely graphic. >> seth, i am not going to apologize by the fact i know how to paint pictures with words
look, i guess kamala harris being vice president isn't all bad. >> seth: why not >> well, it would give me a lot to complain about and as a jew, that's basically an ideal scenario >> seth: dina gusovsky, everybody. we'll be right back with kaley cuoco. ♪ i'm david collado president and co-owner of happy howie's dog treats. we make all natural dog treats and we're growing really fast. so fast, we were maxing out production. that's why i chose the spark cash card from capital one. cause i earn unlimited 2% cash back on everything i buy. last year i redeemed $21,000 in cash back... seriously, $21,000. which i used for new equipment, so we can feed even more dogs. thanks to my spark card, ♪
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♪ >> seth: sitting in with us this week, she's the drummer for pop artist, hayley kiyoko & milk her new podcast, "gay church," is out now and be sure to follow her on youtube and instagram @seevaldrum. valerie franco is here welcome back to the show, val. our first guest tonight is a talented actress you know from shows such as, "8 simple rules" and "the big bang theory."
she both stars in and executive produces the limited series, "the flight attendant," which premieres on hbo max on november 26th. let's take a look. >> where are you >> i don't -- this place is so pretty - >> yeah, no. >> where i am. >> okay. that's not an answer bangkok. oh, speaking of getting arrested in foreign countries, do not get arrested there the laws are byzantine >> right yeah how did you -- how did you know that i'm in bangkok? >> oh, when we all took that girls trip to tuloom, we turned on our find friend thing, 'cause, kidnapping and, yeah, you just never turned yours off, so. listen, you're not actually in trouble or something are you >> no. i'm hungover in thailand listen, you're not actually in trouble or something are you >> no. i'm hungov >> seth: please welcome back to the show, kaley cuoco. how are you kaley? >> hey, seth >> seth: it's so nice to see you. i'm really excited about this show i watched the first episode.
it's great but i do -- i want to ask, i know you've been spending time quarantining how is life in isolation been for you? >> you know what i think like everybody else, mine is surrounded by a lot of dogs and a lot of alcohol. so, it's been okayh: uh-huh. >> you know? but yeah we're just hanging in there. i feel like i've quarantined multiple times i've been in multiple places over the past few months and i've really given all my in quarantine let me tell you, i've been committed. >> seth: well, society -- on behalf of society, i thank you for doing that you mentioned dogs you adopted a dog recently dumpy. >> yes >> seth: here's dumpy for everybody. [ laughing ] >> that is sir dump truck. i got him over my -- over the first quarantine, many months ago. he was supposed to be a foster and i turned into a foster fail. i turned into a girl with a dog and a stroller, which i really didn't want to become. >> seth: and it should be noted, these -- this stroller is not just stationary, as it is in the photo.
here's a quick video of dumpy doing his thing in a moving stroller >> no. oh really ferocious in this stroller that dog could kick your ass >> seth: so, kaley, tell us how -- you know, obviously, you mentioned you didn't want to turn into that girl and now here you are. do you notice -- do you watch it happening in real-time, as you slowly realize "i am now a person who has a dog in a stroller?" >> i didn't want to be that person you know, we have multiple dogs, none of which have strollers but i was in new york for so long shooting. and dumpy was there and he's older, so i thought it would be easier to get out and get around, right, in the stroller and the funny part is, he's a very scared dog. he had a very traumatic life before me. in the stroller, he has this bravery and self-assurance that i've never -- as you can see, he barks. he becomes completely aggressive in the stroller. i don't know what comes over in his brain. >> seth: well, you know what we gotta let dumpy live his best life he has some paparazzi, as well,
yes? people are excited to see dumpy on the streets >> oh, my god. i'm telling you. so we were in -- i was living in tribeca which is a very -- you know, it's pretty -- and there are a lot celebs around and papa -- not -- just a lot of paparazzi and i realized, every time i'd come down early in the morning to take dumpy out to the bathroom, there was paparazzi. and i'm thinking, "oh, my god. they just won't leave me alone." well, an article that came out a few days later that my girlfriend sent me and it said, "dump truck goes to the bathroom with blonde owner. had nothing to do with me. they were there to see the dumpy in the - >> seth: you know that means you have to get a t-shirt that says "blonde owner," right? >> blonde owner. [ laughter ] >> seth: you gotta do it you gotta make it easy for them. >> yeah. no one cared it was me they followed -- they were following us all over new york and i realized they were trying to get all of the photos of dumpy in the stroller. he became an overnight success >> seth: hopefully -- please do not allow your personal jealousy
towards that to drive a wedge between you and dumpy. i'm begging out of you >> i was pretty pissed, let me tell you i thought, the narcissist inside me thought everyone wanted to see me, but i was sorely mistaken >> seth: you -- so, congrats on the show it's weird to say this show is fun because, spoiler alert, some very dark things happen. but, tonally, it is -- i don't know there's a nice energy to it. i assume getting the tone right was a massive part of the show that you're also a producer on >> i gotta tell you, the amount of conversations we had about the word tone -- >> seth: yeah. >> over the last year, it's pretty -- i didn't think i could say that word so many times or hear other people say that word so many times. i wish i had picked a clearer tone of a project for my first producing venture, but i picked a tricky one and yes, it's definitely -- it rides a wave of -- of adventure and sadness. and, obviously, there's a brutal
murder but since i can't help but be a little funny here and there, it was definitely written in my voice. >> seth: yes base on the episode i've seen, you thread the needle very nicely and you also had to work around, like, a lot of productions, the pandemic we're living through. you, sort of, got in just under the wire because you were shooting in italy, right >> we were shooting in italy, yes. we shot in thailand and italy. and then, in italy, was end of january right before things started shutting down. so, we -- and then, also, we had all these months off, like everybody else and we just went back and finished, which was also hilarious because the show takes place in winter in new york. we went back and it was beautiful and summer and everyone in the background was wearing masks. so, it was a very strange -- when we looked at dailies we were like, "oh, my god that guy's gotta a mask on." and we're trying to shift how we were doing everything. >> seth: and you have -- i think a lot of productions have rules
about the number of extras you can have and you have to double-up and use people more than once. that must make things tricky, as well >> we -- so, yes so we obviously were trying to minimize new people in and out of our set so we have six extras that we use for two and a half months. and we kept putting them in different wigs, different outfits, kind of mixing and matching them, on the plane, too. 'cause we had to have them enter the plane. i was like, "these people look like they take a lot of flights, if anybody notices." but it was the only way we could do it. so we -- we did our best >> seth: you should do another show, just about these six weird people that are constantly going back and forth from new york to thailand >> yes >> seth: it would be funny >> it looking very creepy. it's very strange. but i could -- when i would watch dailies, i'm like, "oh, my god. you guys, we had those two people talk to each other in the last scene we gotta move them around. >> seth: well, it all -- it all worked out and now, we have, coming up, thanksgiving, which i think is going to be, obviously, tricky
and different for everybody this year you also have a birthday coming up do you have any plans? are you gonna -- is it just gonna be you and dumpy scrolling through "daily mail" to see if your pictures are in there >> i'm having a party for 200 people on my birthday. >> seth: i'm so glad >> i'm really excited about it >> seth: hopefully -- hopefully just 200 people who know a lot of -- have a lot of elderly friends. i think that's best. >> oh, exactly that's what i was thinking yeah, for sure for sure >> seth: hey, thank you so much for being here thank you for all your time in quarantine we do appreciate everybody taking it seriously. love to dumpy. we are hoping you can help us book him and all the best, kaley. >> i didn't want that to happen. thank you. >> seth: be well the first three episodes of "the flight attendant" will be available on thanksgiving day. a great way to spend some time we'll be right back with our friend, cazzie david ♪ so, what should we do today?
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thanks for believing. ♪ >> seth: our next guest is a very funny writer and actress whose work has appeared in "vanity fair" and "vogue" and who created and starred in the acclaimed web series "eighty-sixed. her book "no one asked for this" goes on sale tomorrow. please welcome to the show, my friend cazzie david. how are you, cazzie? >> hey, i'm hanging in there how are you? >> seth: i'm wonderful i'm very honored this is your first talk show appearance and i'm wondering if you think you would be more nervous if you were here in person or if you're preferring doing it on zoom? >> there's just no world where i could have done this in person, considering how i feel right now. but the -- the bad part about this is that i don't think there's anything sadder than a woman being fully dressed and in makeup on zoom in her living room so, yeah you know, there's bad sides to
both >> seth: now, you're one of the reasons you were worried about this, you were telling me, is that you're afraid that people will be judgmental, based how you execute this interview but that comes from a place of something that you do to other people >> yeah. i'm under the impression that what most people do, especially me, is when they don't know if they like or hate a celebrity yet, is that they go online and look up a "late night" clip, and then, they decide from there and then, whenever that person is brought up in the future and they say, "why don't you like them?" you just saw, "oh, i just saw them on 'seth meyers' and they were so annoying." [ laughter ] for some reason, that's like a valid reason so, i'm getting karma right now. and, also yeah, they could be already deciding >> seth: you yourself described in the book, as being someone who is neurotic. and taking on writing about yourself in a book, seemed to be something that would maybe spiral you out did you find that was the case
or did you enjoy taking that journey? >> well, you know, they say to write what you know. and i didn't have much of a choice because i don't know anything else, seth. but really, the only reason i was able to get so personal was because i just pretended that no one would ever read it so i did reveal all of my deepest insecurities and then the time came when i had to put it out in the world and now everyone knows i'm insane so - [ laughter ] >> seth: well, i want to ask about this because your father, larry david, obviously, over his career, he has written about his own neurosis he has played a character named larry. there's this sense that maybe he is telling us a lot about himself in his writing and his performance. i am also lucky enough to know your mom, laurie how did they feel when you started writing a book that was about yourself, and therefore, was going to also have a bit about them >> you know, my mom is really used to being written about by my dad
and also, i wrote about my sister, who had the experience of living with my mom and seeing how she handled it but i would describe my mom's reaction actually to be really well-described in a tweet she wrote to support me to her couple thousand followers, which she likes to brag about. but she tweeted, like, "daughter's book is coming out remember, kids exaggerate. first of all, way to discredit me before it even comes out. and also, publicly, call me a kid. yeah [ laughter ] she offered to delete it, which i find myself doing a lot. she's like, "fine, if you don't want me to support you then, i won't. [ laughter ] >> seth: how did -- how did your sister, romy -- was she supportive through the process of writing it? >> yeah. i think she was reluctantly supportive but, yeah, she's -- they're great so i'm really thankful that they're okay with it. >> seth: a lot of people through these times have lived with
parents, have lived with in-laws. i know you have done a bit of both you lived with your mom, you lived with your dad through this how has that been? because, of course, one of the hardest things i think about families living with each other is different levels of comfort, slash, fear about the pandemic >> right we agree on everything especially in terms of avoiding sickness at all cost the problem isn't really agreeing it's more like forgetting that we're in a pandemic. my dad and me will discuss -- you know, we go over the rules, like no one can come over because of covid and then, two hours later, i'll come downstairs and he'll have a friend over. and i'm like, "dad, it's covid." -- like, let's go to dinner and i'm like, "dad, it's covid." so, he's like -- so, yeah, that's been an issue, for sure >> seth: what -- i'm wondering if writing about yourself and you talk about writing about
what you know, like, was it cathartic for you? and is there something that you want a reader to take away from the book >> it might be presumptuous for me to think that anyone could take anything away i hope they enjoy it or relate to it. you know, we're the most anxious generation of all-time and thanks to social media, we like to overshare. so i would say anxiety and oversharing kind of sums up my book so yeah, i hope people can connect at least because of that >> seth: you've also pointed out -- you recently put up a post about the fact that how embarrassing it is to self-promote a book like this. >> if you were to observe me for just 24 hours at all this week, you would think an immediate member of my family had died i'm just going around like weeping, being like, "how can any of this be okay? you do all this stuff, you know, so people buy the book but if you're annoying while you are doing it, no one will buy the book
so i don't really know why i'm doing it [ laughter ] >> seth: how -- how do you think, based on what you've told us, and how you would watch a couple of minutes of an interview to decide if you like somebody how do you think people will react to this based on how you've done so far >> i haven't really been in my body for this experience so i can't really tell you. i blacked out a few minutes ago. >> seth: i do want -- it's very funny that you point out, that thing of like getting dressed up to shoot in your living room and one, you know, shows like ours appreciate when people put the effort in. but i want everybody to think about the moment right after we end, when you're just going to be sitting in front of a computer like, all dressed up. and there's not going to be a tv show anymore >> it's pretty humiliating i am in jeans to make it more casual but i realize that doesn't matter at all. and i could look like i'm in a ball gown. so i will be changing immediately after this >> seth: i'm going to picture you -- i'm a little bummed you
told me jeans 'cause i'm going to picture you standing up in very uncomfortable high heels to walk over to shut your laptop. >> i really look like a real housewife for the virtual reunion right now. >> seth: thank you so much, cazzie it is always a delight to see you. congrats on the book and hopefully, i will see you soon in person >> thank you so much i agree. >> seth: "no one asked for this" is on sale tomorrow where books are sold but please support local and independent bookstores we'll be right back with more "late night. ♪ ♪ ♪ still warm. ♪ thanks, maggie. oh, alice says hi. for some of us, our daily journey is a short one. save 50% when you pay per mile with allstate. pay less when you drive less.
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