tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC October 15, 2021 12:37am-1:37am PDT
[ cheers and applause ♪ [ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- star of nbc's "the black list," actor james spader music from tate mcrae, an all new "closer look, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen ♪ [ cheers and applause and now, seth meyers >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. we hope you're all doing well tonight. and now, let's get to the news according to new reports, the house select committee investigating the january attack on the capitol is planning to
increase efforts to force former trump advisor steve bannon to comply with subpoenas. well, just a thought, but have you tried playing some yacht rock [ laughter ] and bannon, here's michael mcdonald, he'll probably just float into the courtroom like when a cartoon dog smells a pie cooking. [ laughter ] in a new statement, former president trump said, quote, "if we don't solve the presidential election fraud of 2020, in '22 or '24. wow, he's been out of office so long, he's forgotten how threats work [ laughter ] "if i'm not invited to your party, then neither is my karaoke machine, still no? [ laughter ] that's right to vote in the midterm elections unless the quote, "fraud of the 2020 elections" is uncovered but for some reason, the thought isn't reassuring to me [ laughter ] arizona senator kyrsten sinema is reportedly on a fundraising trip this week to europe she's bopping around europe now? arizona, did you elect her or divorce her?
[ laughter ] now on top of everything else, she's going to come back with a fake accent. [ laughter ] "i will not vote for this bill as presently appointed." [ light laughter ] the nhl announced yesterday that 99% of its players have received the coronavirus vaccine. i guess they figure the side effects of the shot can't be worse than the side effects of hockey [ laughter ] that's right, the nhl says that all but four players have received the coronavirus vaccine. and needless to say, all but one mascot he's doing his own research. [ laughter ] a hairdresser from indiana was sentenced this week to 14 days in jail and 60 hours of community service for participating in the january and i'm guessing if she's a hairdresser in indiana, she's guilty of more heinous crimes. [ laughter ] if everything is highlights, then nothing is highlights [ laughter ]
that's tonight's sassiest joke i fear [ light laughter ] that's the ceiling of sassiness. the white house announced yesterday that walmart, fedex and ups will increase operations and begin working 24/7 to address the global supply chain bottlenecks. while amazon is still somehow able to deliver you a gnome riding a corgi within 24 hours [ laughter ] the ceo of ikea said in a new interview that he expects supply chain issues and product shortages to last well into next year in fact, things have gotten so bad that the company has completely run out of ooomlas. [ laughter ] did you hear that, ed? they ran out of them ran out of ooomlas [ laughter ] i tried a bomb bad enough that i can still hear the crew laugh. [ laughter ] oh, there they are
the port authority of new york and new jersey announced this week that it will pause further action on the la guardia air train because the only thing worse than going to la guardia is getting there sooner. [ laughter ] and finally, according to new reports, some areas of the country are experiencing a pumpkin shortage, which is why starbucks has introduced its new zucchini spiced latte. [ laughter ] that was the monologue, everybody, and we've got a great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause he is an emmy winning actor and one of our favorites, james spader will be here tonight. [ cheers and applause and you guys, she is a talented singer/songwriter who we booked to make her late night debut back in march 2020 tonight, she is our first in studio musical guest with an audience we'll have music from tate mcrae tate is here [ cheers and applause but before we get to all that, the congressional committee possible criminal referral for
steve bannon and former president donald trump is basically telling republicans for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: i don't have to tell you the last 19 months of pandemic life have been a slog you can just tell by looking at the before and after of this show i mean, 19 months ago, i was in a suit and tie, laser focused on the day's top stories. now i'm here going on tangents dressed like an assistant manager at a sprint store. [ laughter ] things have changed. people used to come up to me and say they loved the show. now they ask me, "what's wally like in real life? [ cheers and applause who told you you could write "applaud for wally" on a card? >> i didn't. i didn't this card wrote itself >> seth: oh, boy oh, brother. part of the slog of course has come from the difficulty in
getting more people vaccinated misinformation about vaccines. there have been all sorts of wild claims swirling on the far right fringes. at one point, reuters was forced to publish an article with this very real headline fact checked "a vaccine did not turn characters in the movie 'i am legend' into zombies." that's not a fact check. that's a plot check. [ laughter ] that sounds like someone at reuters just wanted to get paid to watch "i am legend. are you telling me the next time i'm on ask, "who is the guy in the movie with jennifer lopez where she's the maid, i can just yell 'i don't know, call reuters.'" [ laughter ] and the main reason you know vaccines don't turn people into zombies is that there was even time to fact check it. in zombie movies, the newscast are always anchors screaming before the screen goes to static in "28 days later," there wasn't a news report where some dude said, "did a rage virus from a monkey eradicate human life in less than a month? we rate the statement mostly true
it reached the studio! [ laughter ] it is worth remembering amid all this that there is an actually last month, the poll found that 79 percent of americans are vaccinated or plan to get vaccinated and yesterday, the white house released new data showing that 77 percent of eligible americans have already received at least one shot, which is great news. it means slowly but surely, we're overcoming these small but conspiracy theories spreading dangerous misinformation like donald trump's former national security advisor michael flynn, who claimed at one point that they were putting the vaccine in salad dressing. >> you know, somebody sent me a thing this morning where they're talking about putting the vaccine into salad dressing. have you seen it >> yes >> have you seen this? i mean, this -- and i'm thinking to myself, i'm -- this is the bizarro world, right, this is definitely the bizarro world >> seth: if you're wondering which one general flynn was, he's the one wearing the shirt that says "general flynn." [ laughter ]
we live in a country where the former national security advisor starts a sentence with, "somebody sent me a thing. that's what your grandpa says right before you have to change all of his passwords for him, ie misreading the label the valley is hidden not the vaccine. [ laughter ] sal wrote that one [ laughter ] also, if a vaccine could be effectively delivered via salad dressing, don't you think that's how we'd be doing it [ laughter ] people are afraid of needles no one's afraid of dressing except that radish in the don't drown your food psa. [ laughter ] anybody here born between '71 and '76? all right, great seriously, can you imagine how much higher our vaccination rates would be if the choice was a needle in the arm or a table spoon of ranch if my first shot was ranch, could my second one be russian dressing i'm asking because i just ate
corned beef. [ laughter ] also, why does flynn keep saying, "have you seen this? it's hard to take these people seriously when they start using catchphrases of stand-up comedians. it's like if jay leno got super into q'anon. "have you seen this? have you heard about this? [ laughter ] i think a group of satan worshippers is controlling our government." [ laughter ] i feel like the floor's really going to fall out on a lot of these impressions. [ laughter ] because when it was just the crew, i'd say, "that sounded like jay leno, right?" and they'd be like, "run away, mr meyers, you bet. [ laughter ] "it was like he was in the room with us, sir." [ laughter ] ooh. and then, of course, you've got the right wing megaphones of fox news and the republican party amplifying vaccine misinformation every day for example, we told you yesterday about the baseless airlines were caused by protests against joe biden's vaccine mandate. even trump called in to a claimed that was what was going on
while also gratuitously throwing in a mention of his own gripes about the election he lost >> i think it has a lot to do with a lot of things with the election that waso rigged i think these are big fans of your favorite president, howie i think this has something to do with that. i think it has something to do with the -- i think it has a lot to do with the mandates where they're just not going in. and, you know, they're going to destroy the economy with what's happening right now, because you have - this is just the beginning >> seth: yeah, sure. pilots are so upset about the election results, they staged a sickout 11 months later. [ laughter ] "ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. it's a balmy 78 degrees in los angeles. unfortunately, we won't be going there because democrats stole the election [ laughter ] we'll just be circling here 20 miles west of newark until joe biden is removed by the cyber ninjas." at this point, trump could see anything and think it's about his election loss. "i was at kroger the other day and they were out of avocados. they said -- they said that
drivers of the avocado delivery trucks were walking on protest because the election was rigged. avocados, we love avocados don't we, folks. it's like the classic song, you say avocado, i say avocada [ laughter ] i'll never forget the first time i had one. i was at a trader joe's and i said to the manager 'how much -- how much for one of your precious green dinosaur eggs,' and she said to me - she said to me tears in her eyes, she said, 'sir, that is a single seeded tropical fruit.' these southwest conspiracy theories are such a shame too because if you ask me, there's really only one big take away from the southwest debacle you're off the hook, spirit. [ laughter ] sprint [ bleep ] [ cheers and applause sal, just the adr in spirit and take out the [ bleep ] [ laughter ]
you're off the hook, spirit. you're no longer the go-to joke airlines over at spirit headquarters, they're popping champagne. of course, their tiny airplane -- it's going to take a second to get back on track. of course. of course, it's spirit we're going to get you back with us really -- there's a really good joke coming [ laughter ] it's a -- i don't want to put too much on it but it's a sound effect joke. [ laughter ] and i'm telling you right now, it's going to save what's happened to this "closer look. [ laughter ] of course it's spirit, their tiny airplane bottles of champagne. so when you pop them, it sounds like this -- [ cork pops [ laughter ] oh, got to start listening to the sound effects before the show [ laughter ] either way, spirit is psyched. it would be like if five guys got -- [ laughter ] it would be like if five guys got caught selling horse
burgers, everyone at arby's would be like, "it's our time now. anyway, what was i saying? the modern gop is a mail stream sure sounds like something i'd say. [ laughter ] for example, my pillow ceo mike lindell was on steve bannon's podcast earlier this week. and said he wants to get as many as 25 states to participate in a sham election audits to prove that trump actually won. >> getting all these states on board, we've got right now upwards of nine, i want to get at least 25 on board and when i say before thanksgiving, we are bringing the case to them before thanksgiving, everybody. now, whether they accept it or not is up to the supreme court i really believe that it will be -- it will be 9-0 that they accept the case. and then when we bring all the evidence - we dump it there >> why do you -- why do you think -- hang on slow down. that's going to convince them just to even take it up.
forget how they're going to rule country, a cyberattack of the manifestation of that right now microphone why do you always yell like you stopped your car too far away from the drive-through speaker [ laughter ] and you know it's bad when steve bannon is telling you to slow down with your conspiracy theories that's like dj khaled telling you to cool it with the airhorn. [ airhorn sound also, i love that bannon, who definitely thinks of himself as a brilliant tactician and evil genius has to team up with the pillow dope. his podcast is going to get sued for copyright infringement by the makers of "pinky and the brain. [ laughter ] it's like nick fury had to put together the avengers, but the only heroes he could find were invisible man and the human porch. [ laughter ] that one was mine. [ laughter ]
but i do appreciate lindell's confident prediction that the supreme court is going to accept his case 9-0 it makes it extra fun to see him crash and burn it's like if babe ruth had called his shot, and then, instead of hitting a home run, he struck out, barfed on home plate, slipped on the barf, farted and split his pants [ laughter ] i don't know, who are we kidding? that definitely happened a few times, right also, why are you so intent on getting it done by thanksgiving? you were saying trump was going to be back in office by august now thanksgiving's your new deadline "we're bringing the case to them before thanksgiving so we can reinstate donald trump in time to eat some turkey and watch the bears take on the lions. [ laughter ] and while bannon is busy spitballing bad [ bleep ] conspiracy theories with the pillow dingus, he's also obstructing the congressional investigation of the january 6th insurrection by defying a subpoena from the committee. and now, the committee is moving to pursue possible criminal charges to hold them
accountable. >> breaking news an investigation into the january 6th capitol attack the house select committee just announced that they will move to hold former trump advisor steve bannon in criminal contempt for refusing to comply with his subpoena. >> we have engaged with a wide variety of law enforcement offices including the u.s. marshals in order to issue the subpoenas and we will use everything, as you said, with all due respect. we will use all of the agencies and all of the tools at our disposal to issue the subpoenas and then enforce them. >> if witnesses do not show up, we will hold them in criminal contempt we will vote them in contempt in the house and we will refer them for prosecution. >> seth: so they might arrest steve bannon, again? bannon already looks like he got pulled out of bed in the middle of the night by u.s. marshals. i feel like if they kicked in his door, they would take one look at him and say, "oh, was someone here already?" [ light laughter ] bannon already got arrested once and pardoned by trump, although from looking at him, you'd think he escaped shawshank style
[ laughter ] if the feds are looking for bannon, i could tell you wheree] "this was enrique, he could sniff your salad dressing to see if there's vaccine hidden inside." [ laughter ] bannon's defying the january 6th investigation, but his former employer trump still wants an investigation into the 2020 election to somehow prove his repeatedly disproven conspiracy theories about the election, and now, he's basically telling republican unless gop politicians get on board with his lies. >> for message donald trump is sending a clear message to republicans. don't vote in a statement yesterday, the former president urged his supporters to focus on the last election, instead. writing this, "if we don't solve the presidential election fraud of 2020, which we have thoroughly and conclusively documented, republicans will not be voting in '22 or '24. it is the single most important thing for republicans to do. >> seth: i do like that trump is constantly making life difficult for republicans who just want to
use him to win power sorry you guys bought a ticket on this train wreck, and now, you can't get off. it's kind of like when your spouse makes you go horseback riding and you say, "sure," thinking it will take 20 minutes, and not realizing it's a three-hour trail with no lunch breaks and the horse hates you and stops every 15 minutes to take a -- >> dump. >> seth: this is the gop, a for example, earlier this week, south carolina senator lindsey graham made this totally migrants crossing the southern border >> we had 40,000 brazilians come through the yuma sector alone headed for connecticut wearing designer clothes and gucci bags. this is not economic migration, anymore. people see an open america, they taken advantage of us. >> seth: i'm asking this in all [ laughter ] brazilians headed to connecticut with designer clothes and gucci bags are you confusing the southern border with an episode of the "real housewives?" [ laughter ] that sounded like a random string of nonsense words you sound like siri after someone dropped their iphone in
the toilet siri what are the lyrics to "we didn't start the fire" by billy joel >> designer clothes without the tags, brazilians wearing gucci bags >> seth: thank you [ laughter ] the gop saw the dangers of trump and the whirlwind of lies and conspiracy theories around him and tried to use him to ride back into power. but now they're facing the consequences of that decision. trump's acolytes are facing possible criminal charges for defying subpoenas, and trump is still spreading -- ♪ >> seth: that seemed early [ laughter ] was that a little -- maybe a little early [ laughter ] i mean, we still did sound effects without an audience. [ bubble pop ] i don't know i don't think -- i don't think people at home will notice [ laughter ] next, he's going to claim they're hiding votes in -- >> salad dressing. >> seth: this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause
perfect. we'll be right back with james spader [ cheers and applause ♪ the all-new nissan frontier. hero faces seemingly impossible challenge. ♪ tension builds... ♪ the plot twist. ♪ the hero prevails. in hollywood, this would be the end. but our here, we are just getting started. introducing the all-new nissan frontier. ♪ ♪ they came a long way to be found by you. find more. spend less. homegoods. go finding. spray, lift, skip, step.
swipe, lift, spin, dry. slam, pan, still...fresh move, move, move, move aaaaand still fresh. degree. ultimate freshness activated when you move. [ crow squawks ] ♪ they're nice ubut irritating ♪s ♪ their excitement can get grating ♪ ♪ they're dressed for pastry baking ♪ ♪ the progressive family ♪ ♪ they're helpful but annoying ♪ ♪ they always leave us snoring ♪ ♪ accidents are boring with the progressive family ♪ so, when do you all go home? never. we're here for you 24/7. morticia: how terrifying. protection so good, it's scary. "the addams family 2" now playing everywhere. i've been telling everyone...
the secret to great teeth is having healthy gums. crest advanced gum restore. detoxifies below the gumline... and restores by helping heal gums in as little as 7 days. crest. the #1 toothpaste brand in america. which is a lot. so take care of that heart with lipton. because sippin' on unsweetened lipton can help support a healthy heart. lipton. stop chuggin'. start sippin'. [ "colors" by black pumas ] stop chuggin'. come in for a soccer ball... ♪ ♪ leave a part of the team. what we value most, shouldn't cost more. [ music ends ]
fred armisen here leading the band on our first week back with an audience. fred, we just went through, you and i, 19 months apart and it used to be that i would see you all the time and pretty much every day, i would know what you're doing, even the boring stuff, and i got to be honest, fred, i miss that. and i'm also aware that you have a photographic memory and an incredible ability to remember the mundane details of every day of your life >> yeah, i do. [ laughter ] >> seth: so to make up for lost time, i thought it'd be fun if i would just pick a random day from the last year and a half and you would tell me what you did on thursday, may 7th, 2020 >> thursday, may 7th, 2020 so, that would be -- that was a tuesday. [ laughter ] may 7th was a tuesday, not a thursday >> seth: ok. >> and that was my doctor's birthday [ laughter ] so i remember i had just seen him. i had an appointment like the week before. and then i was like, "ah, it's his birthday."
so i made another appointment, you know, just to like, surprise him and say, like, happy birthday [ laughter ] so - do you have to say that something is wrong because obviously, you just had a check-up so there's no reason to go back >> yeah, i'm like i got to see you. and -- was like i got to see you. then i go and so that i was like, "i'll get a cake." so i bought a cake that day. this was like 10:15 a.m. >> seth: is when you bought the cake >> yeah. >> seth: okay. >> so, i got a strawberry cake, only icing [ laughter ] >> seth: so, what is a cake that's only icing even look like >> seth. [ laughter ] you know, it's like layers of icing. >> seth: ok. >> so, i go in i've got a hundred dollar bill >> seth: wait, is a hundred dollar bill to give the doctor or to pay for the cake >> no, no, it's so give the doctor, as like a happy birthday i go in and -- >> seth: put it in the card? >> put it in the card. >> seth: what did the card say >> it said, "hey [ laughter ]
i have a photographic memory so i remember that it's your birthday so here's a hundred bucks. do whatever you want with it." >> seth: that's said on the front of the card? >> i wrote it on the front of the card >> seth: ok, got you >> so i go in, and he's like "what's wrong? and i'm like - [ laughter ] i was like, "what's wrong is it's your birthday." [ laughter ] so, i give him the cake. and he's like, "you know, you can't do this. i have, like, patients there's like -- there are medical emergencies out there. i was like, "i know, i'm leaving. [ laughter ] happy birthday." >> seth: oh, man, so it didn't end well >> oh, no, no. he smiled. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> because -- oh, yeah, he wasn't admonishing he wasn't like this. he was more like - [ laughter ] -- you know? so, i just like waved hi to everyone in the waiting room and i just left. >> seth: so, these are people with serious medical illnesses you walk out and you sort of wave to them >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. [ laughter ] but i couldn't see their expression because of the masks. >> seth: so there's a chance they were really happy to see you. >> yeah, i'm assuming that they were really happy.
so, then i went and got a couple of sandwiches at this italian place. >> seth: okay, why two >> for dinner. so, i got a lunch one and dinner one. >> seth: do you often do that? do you often dinner at the same time? >> yes >> seth: ok. [ laughter ] >> so then i had them both and then drove home, parked my car, watched some cartoons. >> seth: oh, interesting >> to fall asleep before what would have been my dinner. >> seth: ok. >> so i did a quick nap. maybe two hours. >> seth: uh-huh. >> and just sort of got up and then it was bedtime. so i was like, "okay well, that's my whole day. >> seth: wow >> and i skipped dinner and that was -- yeah. >> seth: that's amazing. >> yeah. >> seth: thank you so much for that, fred blue shirt, white pants, baseball hat and then, at the end of the day shorts >> seth: wow over the white pants or - >> over the white pants. [ laughter ] >> seth: our guest tonight is an emmy winning actor you know from
shows such as "the office", "the practice", and "boston legal." he stars in the ninth season of "the black list", which returns to nbc on thursday, october 21st let's take a look. >> during the past two years i've learned what to hold on to and what to let go of. if i look at that, if i come back even once - i fear all that work will be for nothing. there would be names to be taken, people would be held accountable. down the line, things would get very dark. >> seth: please welcome back to the show our friend james spader ♪ [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause ♪
>> seth: james, welcome back >> thank you fred's, lockdown was so different from - >> seth: i know, right >> -- anyone else's than i've -- >> seth: i feel like one of the things a lot of people did in lockdowns was forget people's birthdays. >> yeah. >> seth: and it seemed like fred really managed - >> but he was also going into crowded places like, the doctor's office had tons of patients >> seth: can you imagine going into a doctors office twice in ten days >> he's like going for - it's like going to the sub shop. there's tons of people there >> seth: yeah, you were doing a lot of being out there >> that was great. >> i was busy. [ laughter ] >> seth: so, this is - i'm actually fascinated when i ask you something. because, we've had guests on this week who i had interviewed during the pandemic via zoom, but you actually were here in january in this studio without an audience. >> yes >> seth: how -- do you remember what that was like for you did you think it was weird being in this big studio with nobody here >> i really have no memory of it >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] you're kind of a reverse fred in that way >> i guess [ laughter ] it's just -- really, i have no memory >> seth: i can tell you this hopefully you have some memory of being here. you have been on the show now 11 times and -- >> 11 times.
>> seth: that's really - the other thing, because i remember - yeah 11 times that's great [ applause ] this show, and "the black list" started the same year. you were actually out here >> and boy, have things gone down hill. [ laughter ] >> seth: right we don't even have labels on the water anymore. can you believe you've been doing the show as long as you have >> that is a long time ninth season >> seth: yeah.p or did you actually - >> no, no. it was a shaved head >> seth: so you did it >> yeah. >> seth: all right >> i mean, it isn't much further than this. [ laughter ] >> really, it's just - >> seth: yeah, how long did it take to grow back? [ laughter ] >> it's just a couple of passes really, you know this year starts -- this season starts two years later, and he was, you know, sort of lost for a couple of years. and came down with terrible mange and so -- terrible hot spots.
>> seth: oh, yeah. >> and - >> seth: and they had to get rid of it. >> so they just had to get rid of all it. yuck, and start over >> seth: you've talked on your show, admiringly, about the writers on "the black list", and how they continue to be inventive and not just keep it fresh for the audience but for you. does that continue to be true? are you still excited to see where they're going to take it >> yes no, it's completely self-serving in that -- you know, but, in all seriousness, i mean, that really was what i think you have to look for in material that you're going to be doing for a television show. especially if it seems like something that you want to stick with for a little bit. and i read the pilot of this, and it was clear that there was so -- you know, the landscape was pretty broad and the tone was very - you know, terms was very irreverent and funny and at other times incredibly intense and i realized that this
character really could go anywhere and you could take so many surprises and it still continues to >> seth: you -- this is not your first foray into television, but you were in "the office", we mentioned. you were also on "boston legal" with one of your costars, bill shatner - >> went to space >> seth: went to outer space of your costars in your career, would he have been your first choice to send >> i think he'd be one of the -- i think he might be one of - i think was the best suited. >> seth: yeah. >> really, i mean, he really was besides that great suit he was wearing. >> seth: yeah. he did let you -- right. it was, i think of for most men his age -- >> yes >> seth: -- if you put them in that suit, it would be jarring and yet with him, it looked like that's what he should always be wearing. >> yeah, no, i hope he kept it and if he did i'm sure it will show up on his website [ laughter ] >> seth: we'll be right back
with more from james spader. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ it may not be music to your ears, but as long as it's music to theirs. bring the volume back to the venue with exclusive ticket access to unmissable events. one of the many reasons you're with amex platinum. betty is saving big, holiday shopping at amazon. so now, she's free to become ... bear hug betty. settle in kids, you'll be there a while. ooo, where you going? instantly clear everyday congestion settle in kids, with vicks sinex saline. for fast drug free relief
vicks sinex. instantly clear everyday congestion. and try vicks sinex children's saline. safe and gentle relief for children's noses. spray, lift, skip, step. swipe, lift, spin, dry. slam, pan, still...fresh move, move, move, move aaaaand still fresh. degree. ultimate freshness activated when you move. as a dj, i know all about customization. that's why i love liberty mutual. ultimate freshness they customize my car insurance,
so i only pay how about a throwback? you got it. ♪ liberty, liberty - liberty, liberty ♪ uh, i'll settle for something i can dance to. ♪ ♪ only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty ♪ do you struggle with occasional nerve aches in your hands or feet? try nervivenerve relief from the world's #1 selling nerve care company. nervive contains alpha lipoic acid to relieve occasional nerve aches, weakness and discomfort. try nervivenerve relief. ♪♪ ♪♪ it came a long way to be found by you. find more. spend less. homegoods. go finding. the best things america makes are the things america makes out here.
the history she writes in her clear blue skies. the legends she births on home town fields. and the future she promises. when we made grand wagoneer, proudly assembled in america, we knew no object would ever rank with the best things in this country. but we believed we could make something worthy of their spirit. in business, setbacks change everything. but we believed we could make so get comcast business internet and add securityedge. it helps keep your network safe by scanning for threats every 10 minutes. and unlike some cybersecurity options, this helps protect every connected device. yours, your employees' and even your customers'. so you can stay ahead.
get started with a great offer and ask how you can add comcast business securityedge. plus for a limited time, ask how to get a $500 prepaid card when you upgrade. call today. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome back to "late night. we're here with james spader one of my favorite things when you're here is to talk about jobs you've had before entering show business. i did not know that you worked at a record store. >> i did >> seth: where was your record store that you worked at? >> up in the upper east side, 3rd avenue >> seth: gotcha. and was this, maybe over the time you worked there, you realized, maybe, not the most legitimate business? >> no, no, no. no, it was i mean, it was -- yes, it was -- it was only giving us ill-gotten gains >> seth: okay. >> but, i mean, you know, where it went with -- i -- it was -- the eye -- it was a little, teeny independent record store and this husband and wife owned it and they spent every dime
they made on cocaine and quaaludes. [ laughter ] and they went back and forth they even mentioned what their house sold was like. [ laughter ] you know like pacing or asleep. [ laughter ] it was cocaine and quaaludes every bit of it, so there was no stock. it was like it was the only retail job i ever worked in. and it was just calcifying i mean, you'd be, it was a time it wouldn't even have taken much to fill the shop, you know because it was so tiny and yet they, you know, like i think when i was working there, "some girls" - >> seth: yeah, the "rolling stones" album. >> album came out. i think, like oh, yeah, i don't know, four albums. i'm sorry. [ laughter ] i mean, it was just so pathetic. so people would come in. they'd ask for a record. you know, i'd do my due diligence. i'd walk them over to to the bin. i'd guess, "i know, we don't [ laughter ] we don't have it." [ laughter ] and we'd have like, maybe,
another record by this, "do you want this one by the same artist?" it would be their least interesting record, and it was so -- so you'd just be standing there, customers wouldn't come after a while. and there was a guy -- and only, there was a guy behind the cash register up at the front i wasn't allowed to be near the cash registers >> seth: i had two staff members? >> there were two staff members. >> seth: yeah. >> there was a guy up there, and who barely talked to me, and i don't know what he was doing up there. and he was raised up it was, like, at the pharmacy to steal jerry seinfeld's great joke >> seth: yeah. >> but why do the pharmacists have to be higher than us? [ laughter ] but anyway, he was, like, higher i was down on the floor. he was higher behind the cash registers. [ laughter ] and busy all the time doing and guess what it was before computers and laptops and phones and everything i'll -- i don't know what the [ bleep ] he was doing but he was there so busy all the time and so busy that he couldn't talk with the only other person in the store [ laughter ] and i would stand there just
waiting, you know, for -- and he played music and stuff he got to choose the music as well and so and i would stand there waiting for customers and everything or they would send me out to buy quaaludes because they, you know, they had lot of scripts. i don't know where they're getting these scripts from but they had tons of scripts, you know >> seth: oh, so interesting. so, they would send this is quaaludes were are prescription drugs. >> yes >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> so they had scripts >> seth: they never sent you out for the cocaine? >> this was a long time ago. >> seth: yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah [ laughter ] >> they don't even make quaaludes anymore. >> seth: you can yeah >> but anyway -- >> seth: yeah, i have tried. [ laughter ] >> i did too [ laughter ] we went on a vacation years ago, we went on a vacation down to cabo san lucas of mexico mexico, a country i adore. cabo san lucas, not so much. [ laughter ] i mean, it's, sort of, a - [ laughter ] i mean, it's basically, at that time, it was, sort of, resorts and stuff. i am not a resort person we have one photograph from the trip it's just this dark, black spot
on a bright white beach. the black spot is me under an umbrella [ laughter ] whole days out of, i don't know, a five day trip. go to pharmacies because i've been told they sold quaaludes in pharmacies in mexico it was a bunch of bull [ bleep ] [ laughter ] >> seth: were they and now, here's a question. in mexico, are the pharmacists higher [ laughter ] >> no. they were is they were on break. i every time every pharmacy i'd walk into, the pharmacist isn't here [ laughter ] >> seth: they were like, "we have some girls. [ laughter and applause >> anyways, this couple would send me up, because, you know, they had all these scripts but they couldn't keep showing up at places with different names, so they were constantly looking for someone else who could be the name, you know you could be bob, and whatever >> seth: and as soon -- like, the minute you sold an album
and, like, it was cash in hand would they, like, then take the cash - >> no. >> seth: -- and send you at night? >> no. they'd show up at different times during the course of the day, of course >> seth: yeah. >> keep things going, you know and so, they'd show up during the course of the day.p, they'dh him. the guy up there >> seth: right [ laughter ] >> because he had the cash and they would just empty the drawer >> seth: wow >> yeah. >> seth: they give you a reference? >> it did not last long. it was so -- oh, my god, it was brutal [ laughter ] really brutal. >> seth: well, as all ways - >> where the hell are we headed with this? [ laughter ] >> seth: where we're all ways headed to the end of the segment. [ laughter ] you guys [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause goodnight. the season premiere of "the blacklist" airs next thursday, october 21st at 8:00 p.m. right here on nbc. we'll be right back with more "late night. [ cheers and applause ♪ if you're 55 and up, ile has plans built just for you whether you need a single line or lines for family members,
you'll get great value on america's most reliable 5g network. like 2 lines of unlimited for just $27.50 a line. that's our everyday price. plus, our plans always come with unlimited talk, text and data included. so, switch to t-mobile and get 2 lines of unlimited for only $27.50 a line. that's half the price of verizon or at&t. only at t-mobile. the leader in 5g. [sfx: radio being tuned] welcome to allstate. ♪ [band plays] ♪ a place where everyone lives life well-protected. ♪♪ and even when things go a bit wrong, we've got your back. here, things work the way
you wish they would. and better protection costs a whole lot less. you're in good hands with allstate. click or call for a lower auto rate today. spray, lift, skip, step. swipe, lift, spin, dry. slam, pan, still...fresh move, move, move, move aaaaand still fresh. degree. ultimate freshness activated when you move. there's a different way to treat hiv. it's once-monthly injectable cabenuva. cabenuva is the only once-a-month, complete hiv treatment for adults who are undetectable. cabenuva helps keep me undetectable. it's two injections, given by a healthcare provider once a month. hiv pills aren't on my mind. i love being able to pick up and go. don't receive cabenuva if you're allergic to its ingredients or taking certain medicines, which may interact with cabenuva. serious side effects include allergic reactions post-injection reactions, liver problems,...and depression. if you have a rash and other allergic reaction symptoms,
stop cabenuva and get medical help right away. tell your doctor if you have liver problems or mental health concerns, and if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or considering pregnancy. some of the most common side effects include injection site reactions, fever, and tiredness. if you switch to cabenuva, attend all treatment appointments. with once-a-month cabenuva, i'm good to go. ask your doctor about once-monthly cabenuva.
ntn i got when i first started from my customers.nology people are so moved by how much i understand about them. they start including me in their lives. that's helen and her friends. i arranged a wellness retreat for them. look at those ladies. such wisdom. mmm. but it's really genesys that helps me unrstand people and what they truly need.
♪ >> seth: welcome back. it has been great having the studio audience back this week you, here, may like it but some people on the internet are mixed about the decision so, after you guys leave, we're going to record something that can only be seen on youtube. it's called "corrections." and it is where i respond to complaints like "why did you bring the audience back? it's like, if this show was a dance club that had a v.i.p. section -- i know, that's a reference to 2004, but that's the last time i was cool oh, picture young seth meyers out late [ laughter ] >> seth: like after a toddler's bed time late. i would roll in to the latest, hip dance club we used hip in 2004. [ laughter ] and i would go up to a section that had couches and bottle service and a velvet rope. and they'd say, "mr. samburg, is this dork with you?" and he'd say, "totes." [ laughter ] and they begrudgingly let me in. "corrections" is like that you could only get in if you have internet access and can find youtube.com [ laughter ] you're totes welcome to join us tomorrow morning we'll be right back with music from tate mcrae. [ cheers and applause
♪ that's the thing about claims, you see. they don't happen on your schedule. i mean, take a chestnut, it doesn't just say “oh, beg pardon, sir, but is now a good time for a jolly bit of window cracking?” i mean, if they did, you wouldn't need a geico claims team that's available 24/7. but, near as i can tell, chestnuts don't talk. or maybe they're just really quiet. geico. your claims team is here for you, 24/7. well, got things to do mr. chestnut, so... [ "colors" by black pumas ] geico. your claims team come in for a soccer ball... ♪ ♪ leave a part of the team. what we value most, shouldn't cost more. [ music ends ] ♪♪ you pour your heart into everything you do, which is a lot.
so take care of that heart with lipton. because sippin' on unsweetened lipton can help support a healthy heart. art sippin'. because sippin' on unsweetened lipton start your day with crest 3d white and from mochaccinos to merlot, a healthy heart. your smile will always be brilliant. crest 3d white brilliance. 100% stain removal, 24 hour stain resistance to lock in your whitest smile. crest. the #1 toothpaste brand in america. today let's paint with new behr dynasty™... so that you can be proud of your walls. go ahead, throw your wine on it. what? it's also scuff resistant. you're paying for that! introducing behr dynasty™, the best of behr. exclusively at the home depot.
spray, lift, skip, step. swipe, lift, spin, dry. slam, pan, still...fresh move, move, move, move aaaaand still fresh. degree. ultimate freshness activated when you move. maureen is saving big, holiday shopping at amazon. so now, she's free to become ... maureen the merrier. food is her love language. and she really loves her grandson. like, really loves.
♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: performing "that way" from her critically-acclaimed ep, "all the things i never said," please welcome tate mcrae ♪ ♪ run me in circles like you always do mess with me on purpos so i'll hang on to you ♪ ♪ i know what you mea when you act like that but you don't know it' breaking my heart ♪
♪ said that it was just never gonna happen then almost kissed me in the dark ♪ ♪ every time we tal it just hurts so bad 'cause i don't eve know what we are ♪ ♪ i don't even know where to start we say we're friends but i'm catching ♪ ♪ you across the room it makes no sense 'cause we're fighting ove what we do ♪ ♪ and there's no way that i'll end up being with you but friends don' look at friends that way ♪ ♪ no friends don't look at friends that wa can't even tell if i love or hate you ♪ ♪ you've got me addicte and i can't tell who's keeping scor
yeah i know what you ♪ ♪ mean when you act like tha but you don't know it' breaking my heart ♪ ♪ said that it was just never gonna happen then almost kissed me in the dark ♪ ♪ every time we tal it just hurts so bad i don't even kno where to start ♪ ♪ i don't even know what we ar we say we're friends but i'm catching ♪ ♪ you across the room it makes no sense 'cause we're fighting ove what we do ♪ ♪ and there's no way that i'll end up being with you but friends don' look at friends that way ♪ ♪ friends don't loo at friends that wa friends don't look at friends that way ♪ ♪ no friends don't look at friends that wa oh hey
we say we're friends ♪ ♪ but i'm catchin you across the roo it makes no sense 'cause we're fighting over ♪ ♪ what we d and there's no way tha i'll end up being with you but friends don't ♪ ♪ look at friends that wa no friends don't loo at friends that way ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: tate mcrae everyone "all the things i never said" is out now. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause
[ cheers and applause hey, guys. me, too! now, let me fill you guys in this is where i come out and i tell seth to get out because we use the same studio for "the amber ruffin show." tomorrow on peacock. so, repeat after me. seth, get out! >> seth, get out >> seth: you turned them against me >> yay >> seth: stay safe, get vaccinated we love you. >> we love -- we love you. [ cheers and applause ♪ it wasn't what giants fans were hoping for. their historic season comes to an end. the giants, yep, and the fans reacting to