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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  March 29, 2022 12:37am-1:37am PDT

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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- mariska hargitay and christopher meloni star of "potus," actress and comedian rachel dratch an all-new "closer look. featuring the 8g band with brooke colucci ♪ [ cheers and applause and now seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. we hope you're doing well. and now we're going to get to the news the 94th academy awards were held last night and featured the
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first live performance of "we don't talk about bruno" from the disney musical "encanto," followed by an unbelievable live performance of "we don't talk about jada." [ laughter and applause well, remember 24 hours ago when we thought timothée chalamet's sternum was the craziest thing we'd see all night [ light laughter ] that's right will smith walked onstage during last night's academy awards show and slapped chris rock in the face and i got to say the last thing i ever expected to see at the oscars was a display of narcissism [ laughter ] we'll have more on this story in a little bit, but first let me do the rest of the monologue, which is kind of terrifying now that i know you can get slapped for doing a bad joke [ laughter ] during his speech on saturday in poland, president biden spoke directly to the russian people and said that president vladimir putin was to blame for western economic sanctions. 'cause if there's one thing biden loves, it's pointing fingers.
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[ laughter ] during a rally in georgia on saturday, republican congresswoman marjorie taylor greene attacked transportation secretary pete buttigieg and said, quote, "he and his husband can stay out of our girls' bathrooms. well, i can't believe i'm going to say this -- she's right [ laughter ] men use the men's bathroom she got -- she got one right [ laughter ] according to a new report, supreme court justice clarence thomas' wife ginni discussed ways to overturn the 2020 election with then white house chief of staff mark meadows but don't worry, she'll get her comeuppance when she's eliminated first on "dancing with the stars. [ laughter ] pepsi -- [ laughter ] you guys, pepsi has -- [ laughter ] pepsi has announced a partnership with the restaurant chain ihop to offer a pepsi maple syrup. great if you love pepsi but you wish it took half an hour to pour one [ laughter ]
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and finally, the oscars were last night here to talk about it is one of our writers, amber ruffin, with her very own oscars recap. >> yay [ cheers and applause hey, everybody hey, seth. you guys, there is nothing like the magic of the oscars, and last night was no exception. first things first beyoncé's performance was breathtaking her song about how good it is to be alive made me feel so good to be alive it just filled me with hope. a hope that would never dissipate. then, troy kotsur won for "coda. and, seth, when the audience stood up and applauded in sign for him, it was quite the moment a moment that would surely be the focus of the evening [ laughter ] then, during a performance of "we don't talk about bruno," megan thee stallion rapped, and it was heaven. it's things like these that make you feel like you're having a moment with all of america and then here's a sentence we will say for the rest of our lives -- will smith slapped chris rock [ laughter ]
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and life as we know it changed forever. [ light laughter ] i had hoped that it was a bit, but that hope quickly turned to dust a dark sadness filled my home, a darkness i couldn't escape had the oscars lost its magic? my sister lacey called me, and we screamed. we screamed a long, loud scream of excitement? terror i don't know but we screamed it with all of america. we tried to stay engaged, but there was no more show after that there was no more anything the once fluffy couch i was sitting on suddenly felt hard and unwelcoming. [ laughter ] my heated blanket went cool. the sweet tea i was enjoying lost all its flavor. [ laughter ] the oscars took everything i thought i knew and flushed it down the toilet. in this new world, could i survive? i know now why they don't have a category for best horror movie,
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because the best horror movie is the oscars [ laughter ] lacey called back, this time with facetime. i needed to see her screaming face to know i wasn't dreaming and then it happened the announcer said, "and the oscar for best actor goes to," and all of america collectively held their breath, picked their cuticles. and then will smith won for best actor his acceptance speech lasted for five minutes and 25 seconds, and i did not breathe for five minutes and 25 seconds the earth cracked open, and i slipped through. i heard echoes of "i'm sorry," but never to chris rock. [ laughter ] i'm not sure what he said, because again, i'm in the center of the earth at this point it comes to an end, and i scrolled twitter and i read
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jokes and thinkpieces and opinions about it, and while i felt like i had seen something horrible and private that made me feel great shame, i found out everyone in america felt the same way i did [ laughter ] and that, my friends, is the magic of the oscars! [ cheers and applause >> seth: amber ruffin, everybody! [ cheers and applause we got a great show for you tonight. two of the biggest stars of the "law & order" family, mariska hargitay and christopher meloni, will be here together [ cheers and applause on thursday nights, you can see both "law & order: svu" and "law & order: organized crime" right here on nbc. and she is one of my dearest friends, who will be starring in
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the upcoming broadway show "potus: or, behind every great dumbass are seven women trying to keep him alive," which will open at the shubert theatre here in new york city rachel dratch will also be joining me [ cheers and applause now, now, now, this is a real thing i did, and not a comedy bit okay, are you ready? i wrote a book called "i'm not scared, you're scared. you can get it wherever you buy your best-selling books. that's right, it landed on the new york times best seller list. [ cheers and applause was it number one? i think i would have said so if it was [ laughter ] i think i would have top three, though. [ cheers and applause so you know what that means. wasn't number two, either. [ laughter ] it's a great book to read to your kids, or it makes an excellent gift for your friends who have kids. you know what it isn't a good segue to "a closer look."
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[ laughter ] but i'm gonna try it anyway. a federal judge said today that donald trump's attempted coup was likely a crime, as bombshell new reporting revealed that both texas senator ted cruz and the wife of supreme court justice clarence thomas were closely involved in trump's attempt to overturn the election. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: look, let's just get this out of the way. obviously, what everyone would rather be talking about right now instead of politics is the big moment from last night's oscars you all know what i'm talking about, of course -- that instantly iconic and unforgettable moment when the flash entered the speed force. we all saw oscar's history unfold live before our eyes when that famous scene finally got the recognition it deserved. and clearly that's what everyone is talking about today did you see nicole kidman's reaction that was either her face finding out the flash had entered the speed force, or when she discovered her mysterious
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british husband was indeed the murderer [ laughter ] anyway, unfortunately, this is a segment that's kind of supposed to be about politics, and that's what we have to talk about, which means it's time for a classic "late night" smooth segue ♪ here we go ready? and now the closer look begins [ clears throat [ laughter ] donald trump's personal sway over the republican party seems as strong as ever, even if at times the candidates he backs fall flat. in some places, trump-endorsed candidates are struggling in gop primaries and having a hard time raising money. but in other places, like texas, his endorsement was still very powerful, and it's shocking to me how popular he remains in texas given how stupid he looks in a cowboy hat. [ laughter ] he looks like an undercover cop trying to bust up a cattle rustling operation [ laughter ] on top of that, trump keeps strongly hinting that he's going to run in 2024, but his crowds aren't exactly getting bigger. a reporter at trump's rally in georgia over the weekend
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tweeted, "i've covered more than two dozen trump rallies. this is the smallest crowd i've seen at a rally of his in georgia since he won the 2016 election." the reporter also posted a photo from the event that showed plenty of empty seats. normally you only see that many empty seats at a community theater production of "hamilton" where they couldn't get the rights to any of the songs [ laughter ] my name is alex and i'm here to say, let's tell the british to go away. there's even video of the people in the crowd filing out early as trump was still speaking >> the leaders who are going to save your state from this anarchy and betrayal, your state -- >> seth: they're like mets fans heading to the subway in the seventh inning of a ten-run blowout. only a few more weeks until that starts happening again, the crew also, i love that in that snippet you can hear trump yelling something about anarchy and betrayal he sounds like he's reviewing last night's oscars. "there was anarchy, betrayal, chaos, and for some reason, some reason, a tribute to "pulp fiction," and yet all
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these years later, we still don't know what was in the briefcase. [ laughter ] why won't they tell us what was in the briefcase probably votes for biden." [ laughter ] trump's crowd was still bored out of their minds even though he was busting out his greatest hits they watch his rallies the way i watch "shawshank" on a sunday afternoon. it's comforting, it's familiar, and i definitely don't make it to the end so, in many ways, trump remains the most powerful presence in the gop, but there are some early signs that his personal grip over the party could be slipping and i certainly don't want to jinx it, given that i've written him off before and been very wrong. in fact, at this point, i just have to assume that everything i predict about trump is 100% wrong, which is why today i called my bookie and i put a million bucks on him to win in 2024, hoping that means he'll lose only problem is i didn't have a million bucks on me, so i had to borrow it from our cue-card guy wally, who has been cashing in on his fame from this show [ laughter and applause sorry, what?
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what is wallycoin? >> seth, that's my new cryptocurrency >> seth: why do you have a cryptocurrency >> so i can buy nfcs >> seth: you mean nfts >> no, no, nfcs -- nonfungible cue cards. seth, it's a picture of an ape holding a cue card, and you get to own a picture of it for as little as five grand [ laughter ] >> seth: wally anyway, the point is, trump's personal sway over the gop may or may not be waning only time will tell. but even if trump himself fades away, trumpism in the republican party he molded will very much remain aspiring republicans are all desperate to mimic him, and the central animating force of republican politics today is still the rejection of democracy. just look at georgia gubernatorial candidate david perdue, an ex-senator who's trying to court trump's base by repeating his lies about the 2020 election and blaming the current republican governor, brian kemp, for allowing democrats to steal the election. >> let me be very clear, very clear.
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in the state of georgia, thanks to brian kemp, our elections in 2020 were absolutely stolen. and i'm fighting right now to find out what happened in 2020 and make sure that those people responsible for that fraud in 2020 go to jail. [ cheers ] >> seth: trump's crowds will chant "lock them up" about anyone now you could be hillary clinton or the ultraconservative governor of georgia -- doesn't matter if you cross trump, they want you in jail. next they're going to turn their ire on wind and umbrellas and the sun. [ laughter ] and there are times when, i have to say, even trump doesn't seem to have his heart in it. trump's whole bit is trolling. he trolls the media and liberals, and his disciples have picked up the mantle, like florida congressman matt gaetz, the only person on earth, this is interesting, whose funko pop would have a smaller head. [ laughter ] gaetz appeared at the rally and once again floated an idea he's pitched before, to make trump speaker of the house if
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republicans win the midterms in november but trump did not have much of a reaction >> give us the ability to fire nancy pelosi, take back the majority, impeach joe biden. and i'm going to nominate donald trump for speaker of the united states house of representatives! [ cheers and applause >> thank you very much thank you, everybody well, that was interesting [ laughter ] >> seth: he sounds like a dad whose teenager just made him watch "euphoria" for the first time [ laughter ] "well, that was very interesting. hey, i'm going to come to school with you tomorrow. nope, for the whole day. so, regardless of what happens with trump himself, trumpism is very much the heart of the gop and here to stay, and it's not just the matt gaetzes and david perdues of the world republicans at the highest echelons of power have fully embraced the conspiracy theories
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and authoritarian impulses that define trumpism. last week, for example, we learned about bombshell text messages from ginni thomas, the wife of supreme court justice clarence thomas, to trump's chief of staff mark meadows, pushing the trump administration to overturn the election >> tonight, our chief election and campaign correspondent robert costa and bob woodward have uncovered text messages between the wife of supreme court justice clarence thomas and president trump's top aide, in which she repeatedly pushed to overturn the 2020 presidential election >> the first message from thomas came the day before joe biden was declared the winner of the 2020 presidential election >> "do not concede," she wrote "it takes time for the army who is gathering for his back. >> seth: holy [ bleep that sounds like something saruman would say in "lord of the rings." [ laughter ] "it takes time for the army who is gathering for his back. that is very shakespearean for someone named ginni. there's not a lot of ginnis in shakespeare. it's just not a shakespearean name no one's buying tickets to see "romeo and ginni."
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[ laughter ] "i liked romeo, but the ginni character was a lot. and let's not forget the reason this is so shocking is trump was open about his desire to have the supreme court help him stay in power he said it repeatedly and took his case to the supreme court. there was even a case where trump sued to block the national archives from releasing any records related to january 6th, and the only justice to side with trump in that 8-1 ruling was clarence thomas. he sided with trump in a case to block the release of records that could have potentially implicated his own wife. that is a slap in the face to the constitution and even if it was to protect your wife, slapping is never okay [ laughter ] no slapping! [ cheers and applause so, it's a massive scandal although, i get it if i was saying crazy [ bleep like that, my wife would want those texts blocked, too in fact, i'm pretty sure she already has my number blocked, because i keep texting her, "do you like my pacino impression? and i get no response. [ laughter ] "i can't believe my own wife
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left me on read! [ laughter ] and it wasn't just -- don't you dare don't you dare ruin what clapping means forever [ laughter ] and it wasn't just ginni thomas. this morning, "the washington post" also reported on ted cruz's last-ditch battle to keep trump in power, including working directly with trump to concoct a plan that came closer than widely realized to keeping him in power of course ted cruz was involved. if there's a rotting, insidious idea somewhere anywhere, it's more likely than not that ted cruz had a role in it. he was probably the one who told trump, "yeah, the hat looks great on you, sir. [ laughter ] and these two were apparently in constant communication throughout the months-long coup attempt that culminated in the january 6th riot according to "the post," two days after the 2020 election, trump tweeted the falsehood that "i won this election by a lot. around the time he sent that tweet, the president talked with cruz on the phone. cruz was also dining near the capitol on the evening of december 8, 2020, when he received an urgent call from
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trump. a lawsuit had just been filed at the supreme court designed to overturn the election. "would you be willing to argue the case?" trump asked cruz. "sure, i'd be happy to," cruz said he responded. first of all, i have a hard time believing their phone conversations were that brief. i don't think trump has ever made a short phone call in his entire life. remember when he used to call into the "fox & friends" while they just sat there without blinking for an hour just staring into the void wondering, "am i dead, and is this my punishment?" [ laughter ] so, cruz was deeply involved in trump's effort to overthrow the election fortunately for us, cruz's last-ditch effort to overturn the election went about as well as his last-ditch effort to get on a plane in montana. >> new video this morning showing the moments before airport security was called on texas senator ted cruz he missed his flight check-in sunday in bozeman, montana, and options to reschedule were limited because of spring break, so the senator got in a heated conversation with airport employees over the issue >> cops were even called to calm down the texas republican.
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it happened at bozeman yellowstone international airport in montana a social media posting claimed that cruz wouldn't calm down and was heard asking, "do you know who i am?" >> seth: ted cruz strikes me as one of those people who hopes the answer to "do you know who i am" is "no." [ laughter ] "do you know who i am? "i don't." "thank god i am but a weary traveler who seeks passage home to my loved ones, and not, i assure you, a noxious toady hell-bent on destroying american democracy. i've never even been to cancun." [ laughter ] and then, today, after all those major bombshells, a federal judge wrote in a new court filing that trump's attempted coup was more likely than not a crime, adding that the illegality of the plan was obvious. yeah, man, no [ bleep i'm tired of waiting for judges and d.a.s and special committees to tell us what we all saw with our own eyes was probably not legal. why is this taking so long this is like if a character in season 8 of "game of thrones" said, "hey, any word on whether or not winter is coming? it's like, where have you been [ laughter ]
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you literally have heard no update on that the evidence of a criminal attempt to overthrow american democracy is so overwhelming and involves so many figures at the highest levels of the republican party, it's hard to fathom, and yet still so many of our judges and prosecutors and elected officials saw what happened on january 6th, shrugged, and said - >> well, that was interesting. >> seth: this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ♪ we'll be right back with mariska hargitay and christopher meloni [ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's closer looks, be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. sive. let's just accept that. going to the movies can be a lot for young homeowners turning into their parents. bathrooms -- even if you don't have to go, you should try. we all know where the bathroom is and how to us it, okay? you know, the stevensons told me they saved money bundling their boat insurance with progressive. no one knows who those people are. -it can be painful. -hand me your coats.
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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: give it up for the fantastic 8g band! [ cheers and applause sitting in front on drums with us this week, she's the drummer for her new york-based rock band, plus she just finished up a u.s. tour with slash, featuring myles kennedy and the conspirators their self-titled debut album is available everywhere and for more information, go to their instagram @plushrocks. brooke colucci is here welcome to the show, brooke! [ cheers and applause great to have you. you know our first guests tonight from their work as olivia benson and elliot stabler on "law & order: svu," as well as the latest spin-off, "law & order organized crime.
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you can see both shows beginning thursday nights at 9:00, here on nbc please welcome back to the show, mariska hargitay and christopher meloni [ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: welcome back, both of you [ cheers and applause i mean - >> wow >> you say our names backstage to announce us, the crowd's reaction she turns to me, she goes, "we've still got it. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, i should say. i should say >> we still got it >> seth: i think you - i think you both independently have it, but i think there's an extra excitement that you're here together, so thank you so much for making -- [ cheers and applause and i should also note, you were - this was planned a while ago
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there were some scheduling issues, and you guys had to back out and you have such intense fans, a lot of them took it out on me on social media. >> no! >> seth: they did. it was as if, last-minute, i decided i didn't want you. >> that's great, though. this is perfectly us you go, "no!" and i was thinking, "better you than me. [ laughter ] is this too casual, by the way >> no, i think it's lovely >> yeah, not the dress but my posture. >> you look casual >> okay, great >> what i wanted to say is, our fans are crazy, crazy loyal, and they're so nuts. i don't think other people have fans like we do. i'm not ribbing on your fans i'm sure they're great i'm just saying the "svu" fans are -- they're hardcore >> seth: and you know, there's a very - [ cheers and applause there's the thinnest of veneer between you and your fans when you film a show that is often outdoors in new york city, right? >> oh, yeah. >> seth: you see fans a lot. they feel very close to you. they have made art based on you guys >> they have made art. >> seth: a beautiful mug, christopher. you sent me a picture. can i show this? and i mean, just to get the likeness right on a mug like this.
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>> it's not easy >> seth: i mean, it is - [ laughter ] i mean, when you spit in it -- ♪ yeah >> seth: that just must -- >> i've had that for 20 years. >> seth: have you really >> yeah. >> seth: 'cause it looks like it just came out of the box >> right out of the kiln >> seth: right out of the -- and look at that that's really nice, too, 'cause you do have such a beautiful profile. >> and a strong chin >> seth: strong chin >> big nose, strong chin >> seth: that's like a double shot of espresso when you have that in the morning. >> every morning >> seth: also, people have referenced, when the two of you are together, and again this is just on my social media, chriska or "chrishka." >> it's "chrishka. >> seth: "chrishka," thank you >> it's "chrishka. oh, yeah, we're "chrishka. >> seth: that's really nice. >> yeah, it's beautiful. >> or bensler. >> bensler is it bensler? chriska and bensler. >> seth: oh, bensler and chriska. okay, great. >> there was a new one that just happened oh, marshmelon >> yes [ cheers and applause >> seth: marshmallow >> chris calls me marsha sometimes.
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>> seth: gotcha. >> one of the many names >> seth: now, last time you were here, you were here with ice-t did you want to come out to prove that you guys have better chemistry? >> no. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] i wanted to -- alright, so, the show, 23 years. wait, i want to show what my fans did for me. >> seth: what did they do? [ laughter ] >> did you bring it? >> yes, i did. >> "but what about me? >> seth: i'm sorry >> yeah, because look. >> seth: okay, i apologize >> so, there's three >> seth: okay. >> guys? [ audience awws come on, all i ever wanted >> they're voodoo dolls. [ laughter ] >> all i ever wanted was a doll named after me >> seth: i think we only have two >> no, there's three just saying, if you didn't - >> he wants to keep one. >> my fans are gonna be so mad that you didn't have one >> seth: this is all i have down there >> how about this? and look at the hair whoo >> seth: if there's one backstage, we'll have it, 'cause we'll do two acts with you guys. so if we find the third one, we'll bring it out but i will be honest can i just say something, mariska? don't take it the wrong way. if it looks just like these two, i don't know if we needed to show it. [ laughter ] >> i hear you, but the other one was the first one.
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>> seth: okay, gotcha, alright so, i want to ask, you had done - i knew you first from "oz. you've done a couple episodes of "e.r.," when you read the pilot for "svu. what were your first reactions to it? >> it was called "sex crimes." >> seth: yeah, i remember. >> i literally went, "okay," as did my mother because once - because when we got it, when we screen-tested and we got it, i go, "mom, i got it." "you got what? "i'm on 'sex crimes.'" [ laughter ] she's like, can they change the name?" >> seth: and did you have to say, "trying to catch them i played one of the guys trying to catch them" [ laughter ] >> exactly, yeah "i'm the good guy. >> she then she called dick, and he did change the name >> exactly >> seth: did it ever air as "sex crimes" >> no, no, no. >> seth: never okay, gotcha >> we were actually beginning to do a little publicity for it, and one of the publicists ran up to us, "we're doing whatever publicity line." >> seth: yeah. >> and i said, you know, "it's great to be working on the new show, 'sex crimes.'" and she came running up, "hey, don't ever say those words
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again! [ laughter ] >> "svu. >> nobody will watch a show called "sex crimes." >> seth: so, "law & order" is obviously a franchise at this point, so you know that it has a certain weight to be auditioning for a dick wolf show do you remember being nervous at the time, like, "oh, this could be --" i mean, no one thinks this could be a show that is on for 20-plus years. but did you think, "oh, this might be actual -- you know, it's kind of normal job"? >> well, yeah, i thought - you never think, after being a struggling actor for so long, that any show is going to go >> seth: right ♪ but this was a unique audition for us because when we met, there was a certain chemistry, so i actually wasn't nervous at the audition but you never think what happened would happen. you can't -- you can't dream it >> do you want to re-enact how that happened? >> if you do >> sure, go ahead. what's the best camera [ cheers and applause >> this is real. this is what happened. you ready? >> so, i open the door to the audition, and i go like this >> slattery!
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>> meloni! [ laughter ] >> and it was that >> seth: wow >> i had heard that john slattery was testing for the part >> the guy who did "mad men. >> and i was so excited. never met him. >> seth: yeah. >> and he comes in, and so i knew the other two guys, so i knew that they weren't slattery. and i see him and i go, "slattery," and he just goes, "meloni! >> seth: wow because i know slattery, and it's a big whiff to think -- >> it's a different guy, right >> seth: real different guy. it's not like you're ever like, "those two, you can't tell those two apart," because you definitely can [ laughter ] >> and yet slattery and i would have been great together >> seth: i mean -- >> right >> seth: i hate to spend today making it about that, but you guys would have been great together >> whatever. [ laughter ] >> no! >> seth: no, no, we're so happy it ended up this way i have so much more to ask >> it was in the cards >> seth: we will be right back with more from mariska hargitay and christopher meloni [ cheers and applause and christopher meloni [ cheers and applause ♪
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>> how are you doing with all that [ cheers and applause >> my old man would have hated this what do you do go after the marcy killers as the bad guys leave your fellow cops alone >> elliot, that was a different time that was your father you had to go along to get along. >> he's a tough-ass. not perfect. but he's a good cop. >> elliot. my friend. [ cheers and applause you're doing the right thing >> seth: welcome back to "late night. we're here with mariska hargitay, christopher meloni >> i didn't realize that it came out. >> you don't watch my show >> seth: must be - >> hey, not now, seth, we're talking. >> seth: no, i understand. >> i never saw that scene. >> seth: you never saw that scene? >> i said i didn't realize it came out so sexy
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>> seth: oh. and he said, "you never watch my show? and i go like this, "no. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's very nice that you have a friendship that could be that honest >> he never watched me after he left. >> seth: did you not think you were acting it sexy? >> no. >> seth: really? then you have a lot of inadvertent sexiness, i'm sorry to tell you. >> oh. [ cheers and applause >> seth: speaking of - >> don't hate me 'cause i'm sexy >> seth: i want to congratulate you christopher, you've been recently anointed, i hope that's the right term, a zaddy. am i saying that right [ cheers and applause >> yes thank you, thank you and this is a council of zaddies that gives you this honor? >> a coterie >> seth: a coterie >> yes, and it's a worldwide organization >> seth: for those who don't know the term, what is - what is a zaddy, and what are your duties? >> i think it's an elderly gentleman who kind of exudes a certain athleticism, maybe sex appeal >> seth: yeah. >> yes [ cheers and applause >> seth: i think this was the photo you submitted to the coterie.
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>> yes, yes. >> seth: not too shabby. >> wow >> and they insisted that i put my hands on the plate just for show >> seth: oh, so you didn't need your hands [ laughter ] >> what, what? [ cheers and applause >> seth: by the way, in case anybody was wondering -- >> yeah, okay. >> you okay? >> hey, guys, what am i, then? [ laughter ] >> seth: i am -- i think you only wanted to show that because you were so worried a fan was gonna be waiting outside your house, being like, "why wasn't my doll -- why did you show only two of the three dolls? >> but can i tell you something? this fan made one for me, mariska, and then one for olivia, so i got two for one >> seth: wow hey, i want to congratulate you, as well, christopher, on your success, because you recently posted - you went to st. stephen's school in virginia. this was a letter home and i just - maybe you were not destined for success early on we highlighted, "while christopher's academic record has been satisfactory -- congratulations on that.
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"you should know that we're very seriously concerned about the number of demerits he has accumulated. does that surprise you, mariska, that maybe he was -- >> no. >> seth: really, yeah. [ laughter ] seems like a demerit collector to you >> well, he beats to his own drum >> seth: okay, that's right. >> would you say that's fair >> i think that's a very accurate - >> beats to his own drum >> seth: is it nice to have a new sort of entry in the franchise, where you get to both have crossover episodes, but also do a new kind of show >> it really is. it's very liberating i appreciate how we tell stories. you know, and anytime i get to work with her, i think you would agree that it's really - it really is special and magical, and it's a gift it's like, "oh, she's coming on? you know, it's very nice >> seth: it's really cool. and i really appreciate you guys making the time together with us today. it was wonderful >> thank you >> seth: and now you're leaving the dolls for me, or are you taking them? >> well, i feel like you should have one [ laughter ] >> seth: you guys give it up one more time. mariska hargitay, christopher meloni, everybody. "law & order: svu" airs thursday nights at 9:00, followed by "law & order: organized crime," right here on nbc.
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and free, and free. free, free. and free, and free, and free, and free, that's right, turbotax free edition is free. see details at ♪ [ applause ] >> seth: our next guest is a very funny comedian you know from "saturday night live," as well as movies such as "sisters" and "wine country. she's starring in the upcoming broadway show "potus: or, behind every great dumbass are seven women trying to keep him alive," which will open at the shubert theatre on april 27th. please welcome back to the show our very dear friend rachel dratch, everybody [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> seth: welcome, dratch
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you have - >> hello >> seth: i am already in your debt in life in general, but you did us a favor tonight you showed up as a sort of - you filled in for a last-minute guest hole, and thank you so much. >> yes, i love to take up a guest hole no, yeah, i got a call not too long ago, and i like to think of myself as your teri garr >> seth: that is a very important role >> for those of you who used to watch "letterman." >> seth: every talk show host needs their teri garr, though -- someone they can trust, who can show up, can deliver >> yes now, let me say that i was making chili when i got this call, so i was cooking onions, so i might smell like onions >> seth: okay, that's alright. we do appreciate you putting that caveat out there. >> okay, good. >> seth: hey, you know what i was thinking when mariska and chris were out here? i think one of my first or second weeks at "snl," you wrote a sketch called "law & order: suv. >> i did >> seth: you did >> i don't remember half the stuff i did. what was it? >> seth: i think it was basically just suv-related crimes
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>> really? i wrote that [ laughter ] i guess i did! >> seth: this is one of the new things we're trying with guests where i tell you something about you. [ laughter ] >> god, i don't remember doing that i mean, i remember the sketch. i didn't remember -- okay, anyway, let's move on from that [ laughter ] >> seth: you might not know this -- you're in a broadway show >> i am! i do know that >> seth: that's so exciting. now, i've seen you onstage before, but i'm not sure -- i did not realize this is your broadway debut >> broadway debut, yes it's a farce with seven women written by a woman, directed by susan stroman, written - selina fillinger is the playwright she's a young, up-and-coming playwright who got her play on broadway >> seth: that's amazing. >> and it's me -- i mean, i hope i remember everyone right now, but vanessa williams, julie white, lea delaria, lilli cooper, suzy nakamura from second city, our buddy, and -- oh, my god -- julianne hough >> seth: wow nice catch, you got them all >> yeah.
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[ applause ] >> seth: that's really exciting. >> yeah. >> seth: and this was -- is it safe to say that even before comedy, theater was your thing you were in an early -- you were in a production of "music man. >> i was, in high school >> seth: so, this is a high school production >> that's me in "music man" as amaryllis. >> seth: okay. >> i did have -- this is from the yearbook, and i noticed i left my watch on by accident so that's kind of anachronistic. >> seth: that's how it gives away the con, right? [ laughter ] >> yes but that was the dress rehearsal. i did take it off for the real show but anyway, yes, that was me in "the music man" in my junior year of high school, yeah. >> seth: amaryllis is the young girl who is taking piano lessons. >> yeah, so it's not a major role >> seth: did you have to do a lot of, like, miming playing piano, do you remember >> well, i actually played the piano, so -- >> seth: oh! well >> i mean, it's just a little -- like, anyone could learn that. but anyways, yeah, so i've done theater a lot, but i've always gravitated towards comedy. so, you know, this is like, whatever, this is going to be
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fun because -- >> seth: have you seen "the music man" on broadway? >> i did see it, yes >> seth: was it exciting >> yeah. oh, my gosh, because i know all the songs. when you go to a show that you were in, then you're, like, singing along in your seat, much to the chagrin of your seatmates. but no, yes, i saw "music man. it was super fun >> seth: we talked about your son eli, who is now 11 1/2, which is amazing i remember seeing him in a stroller, because he wasn't always 11 1/2. >> yeah. >> you talked about bringing him to broadway shows. my wife just brought our oldest to "lion king," which he loved you talked about bringing eli to "fiddler on the roof." >> i did, yeah >> seth: and what was his review, again? >> well, he said it was boring and sad and boring >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> but so, i've brought him to more, like, kid-friendly musicals i don't want you to think i threw him in on "fiddler on the roof." but as i told you last time i was here, whatever -- yeah, like, "fiddler on the roof." i used to love that -- like, i saw it when i was little and i really loved it, and i wanted him to see it, but it didn't go over so great with him, yeah >> seth: do you think -- did you -- in the watching it, did you realize early on, "oh, i've made a terrible mistake? >> yes because it was kind of, like,
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dark sets, and, like, it wasn't really a lot of, you know, real-life-looking stuff. and then i also realized, like, "oh, yeah, this play is kind of about marrying someone outside of your religion." he was like 6. so it wasn't exactly a child - but i think -- now i'm just repeating another segment i did. but he did lean over to me partway through and be, like, "i wanna go." [ laughter ] and then one of the characters onstage said, "i have to leave you now. and he leans over, and he says, "i have to leave this show." [ laughter ] so, that's a rewind of another seth segment >> seth: hey, look, sometimes when you're teri garr -- >> when you're filling in, you got to go play the hits, right >> seth: so, wait, are you going to bring -- will eli come to this show? >> okay, so, this show has a lot, a lot of salty language in it. >> seth: oh, okay. >> really, really. so, i don't know, 'cause he's heard a lot of swears -- >> seth: how salty >> like, think saltiest.
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>> seth: okay. >> no, he's heard a lot of, like, bad words, but i don't know that i want to introduce him to new bad words but, i don't know, we'll see, because then i'm also like, well, i want him to see it, so maybe i'll just have a little sit-down and lay down the -- >> seth: that's so interesting because i think there's no way to stop your kids hearing the bad words, but you don't want it to be by your hand >> exactly and then do you want him to go tell everyone in the fifth grade about the new word yeah >> seth: and like, he heard -- "i know this because i saw my mom say it on a stage. >> well, actually, i don't say it >> seth: oh, there you go. so maybe when the night he comes, every time someone says a bad word, you, like, do a big thing of rolling your eyes >> yeah, or i'm like, "wasn't me, wasn't me. no, but the show is very funny so, i start out -- like, the character that i play is really fun because i start out as someone who's very, like, buttoned-up and apologetic like, i can really relate to that being, like, "oh, my god, did i do this right? that kind of thing but then the character goes on a journey, and i get to do a lot of crazy things.
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so, yeah i was thinking, if you like me as an actor, you'll really like this show. and then if you don't like me, there's a lot of other ladies there that you might be fans of. [ laughter ] >> seth: what a wonderful -- >> put that on the marquee if you hate rachel dratch, there are six others that you might enjoy. >> seth: well, i think i'm going to like all seven of you thanks so much for showing up, for bailing us out it is always such a joy to see you. rachel dratch! "potus" officially opens on broadway april 27th. we'll be right back with more "late night. [ cheers and applause ♪
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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: i want to thank my guests, mariska hargitay, christopher meloni, rachel dratch. i want to thank brooke colucci and the 8g band. stay safe. get vaccinated get boosted. we love you. [ cheers and applause ♪ tonight new images from inside a restaurant. what officers say happened right before they opened fire in front of


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