tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC June 6, 2022 11:34pm-12:37am PDT
one of the most recognizable first ladies in u.s. history will be featured on a stamp. joe biden unveiled the new stamp honoring nancy reagan. she is the sixth first lady honored with this stamp. she passed away in 2016. the official stamp will be issued july sixth. thank you for joining us tonight. as a reminder, tomorrow is election day. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon."
tonight, join jimmy and his guests - adam sandler, ben falcone, comedian nimesh patel. and featuring the legendary rootcrew >> questlove: 1664 >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause that -- i love you i love you i see you. welcome, everybody welcome. welcome to "the tonight show." you're here. you're watching. [ cheers and applause big show tonight
let's get to some news first, you guys, this weekend was queen elizabeth's platinum jubilee. that's right britain marked the queen's 70-year reign with four days of parades, parties, and celebrations yeah, four days. basically, the queen is like your annoying friend who insists on celebrating their birthday month [ laughter ] yep, the queen celebrated 70 years of sitting on the throne when he heard, your uncle who does "the new york times" sunday crossword puzzle said, "challenge accepted. [ laughter ] it was a star-studded event with performances from elton john, rod stewart, and ed sheeran yeah, when ed first walked out, the queen was like, "oh, harry, you're back. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ed sheeran meanwhile, prince andrew did not attend any festivities due to a positive covid test [ light laughter ] andrew was like, "it's weird i keep testing positive right before every public event.
[ laughter ] can you imagine the odds?" yep, the queen made several appearances this weekend and at one point, she showed up as her younger self in the form of a hologram. this is real check this out [ horses galloping ] >> jimmy: yeah it got confusing when there was a glitch and tupac started waving to the crowd. [ laughter ] but the carriage ride wasn't queen elizabeth's only surprise appearance she also starred in a short film having tea with paddington bear it's really cute it's real. take a look. >> perhaps you would like a marmalade sandwich i always keep one for emergencies. >> so do i i keep mine in here. >> jimmy: i love that. come on. she's the best it's so fun. it went much better than paddington's meeting with another world leader watch this >> thank you for the sandwich. [ laughter ] but i'd prefer it if you took
the first bite >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, very smart. very smart, paddington i wouldn't [ laughter and applause yeah, it was a four-day event honoring the queen, but it was four-year- old prince louis who stole the show here he is at yesterday's pageant parade look at this ♪ [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, my god ♪ >> jimmy: after 20 minutes, kate was just like, "just hand him the royal ipad, please [ laughter ] now when kate says, "yeah, he's a real prince," people know she's being sarcastic. [ laughter ] that's right, prince louis' antics were going viral all weekend. here's one photo here. looks like he's gathering his
strength for an 8:00 a.m. zoom meeting. [ laughter ] here's prince louis next to the queen. yeah [ laughter ] that was actually after she started telling him "top gun" spoilers and he's like, "don't say goose, don't say goose." and, of course, there's this one here that's -- that's him pretending he's a passenger on spirit airlines that's very interesting. [ laughter ] switching gears, there are rumors swirling around the vatican that pope francis might soon announce his retirement when asked what he's going to do next, the pope said, "greeter de walmart. [ laughter ] yeah, at his age, pope francis said that he could either retire or become quarterback of the tampa bay buccaneers that's interesting [ laughter ] you guys hear about this the new head of cnn said that the network is going to stop using the breaking news banner they said they use it too much he's got a point they do use it quite a bit if you don't believe me, take a look at some of the stories they classified as breaking news today first, there was this. "poll says 54% of americans do something the other 46% don't.
[ laughter ] >> steve: breaking news? >> jimmy: that's breaking news >> steve: yeah >> jimmy: there was also this story here "you know that celebrity who was dating that other celebrity? well, now she's dating a a different celebrity. [ laughter ] you go, "these aren't breaking --" and finally, this one says, "glenn holding steady at 547th most popular baby name." breaking news. >> steve: breaking news. >> jimmy: breaking news, glenn with two ns. that's right, cnn is trying to tone things down with their breaking news graphics meanwhile, msnbc is going in the exact opposite direction yep. check out what i saw this morning. watch their breaking news alert on msnbc >> breaking news, bitches! [ explosions ] >> jimmy: you know what i'm saying >> steve: wow. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's the opposite. >> steve: it gets your attention. >> jimmy: i was nervous. it was just that glenn was the 547th most popular baby name >> steve: that's breaking news bitches. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: listen to this, guys apple just announced a new feature that will allow people to edit and unsend messages.
[ audience oohs when they heard, apple users were like, "finally. what the duck took you so long?" you know [ laughter ] yep, you can now unsend messages now everyone gets to play that fun game, "did they see it before i deleted it? yeah [ laughter ] well, hey, get this. according to a new study, the actors whose names we mispronounce the most are saoirse ronan, joaquin phoenix, and ewan mcgregor >> steve: come on, those are easy i've never mispronounced any actor's names. it's my job, you know. go ahead, try me >> jimmy: you want me to test you on how to pronounce actor's names. >> steve: mm-hm. >> jimmy: okay well, we'll start out simple who's this next to you >> steve: oh, that's easy. samuel lajackson [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay who's this >> steve: robot diner. [ laughter ] come on, give me some hard ones, man. >> jimmy: you want rapid - >> steve: rapid fire me. >> jimmy: you want rapid fire? >> steve: fire away, man >> jimmy: i'm not sure this is a great idea, but -- >> steve: i'm ready.
>> jimmy: all right. here we go let's just start rolling who's this >> steve: easy cate blanket >> jimmy: no [ laughter ] >> steve: eighteen bananas >> jimmy: hm-mm. [ laughter ] >> steve: french fries mcdonald. >> jimmy: no [ light laughter ] >> steve: batman riddler [ light laughter ] leggo my eggo. penn and teller. oh, that's been eatin' del taco gilligan's island. itchy dandruff tennis elbow shining taint. he'll want to bone in the car? [ laughter ] oh, i love this guy. love this guy. colon birth. >> jimmy: all right, that's very good. okay, hig -- steve higgins, everybody. very talented. [ cheers and applause ♪ very talented. >> steve: glenn. >> hey, guys, i read about a a theme park in pennsylvania where a ride malfunctioned and left passengers stuck upside-down. [ audience ohs ] they couldn't fix it, so they just said the theme of the ride was "stranger things." [ laughter ] this went viral. two women in england were relaxing on an oversized chair, and they realized that they couldn't get out watch this
>> jesus christ! jes -- use your crutch, sue use your crutch. use your crutch. jesus, sue give her your crutch use your crutch. [ laughter ] use your crutch. >> jimmy: in all fairness to sue, it really does look like she's using her crutch as hard as she can [ laughter ] fake friends help you out of a a chair. real friends film you, laugh, and then post the video on the internet anyway, they live there now. [ laughter ] finally, it is time for "good name, bad name, great name." here we go, everybody. ♪ ♪ good name bad name great name yes ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: first up we have, "about damn time." that's a good name for a new song by lizzo. it's a bad name for a funeral parlor it's a great name for a store that sells engagement rings. there you go [ laughter and applause after that, we've got, "buzzfeed. well, that's a good name for a a news site. that's a bad name for a hair salon.
it's a great name for a 3:00 a.m. drive-thru line at taco bell. [ applause ] next, there's, "the staircase. well, that is a good name for an hbo show. it's a bad name for an airbnb. it's a great name for a courtroom drama about a slinky oh, interesting. [ applause ] >> steve: alone or in pairs? >> jimmy: he was pushed. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: after that, there's "break free. well, that's good name for a a song by ariana grande. a bad name for a prison. great name for taking off your spanx after a wedding. [ cheers and applause [ popping sound and finally, we have, "ain't no mountain high enough." well, that's a good name for a a song that is a bad name for a pilot school it's a great name for trying to get service when you have at&t there you go, that is "good name, bad name, great name." we have a great show tonight adam sandler is here, tonight. [ cheers and applause
ben falcone is on the show [ cheers and applause and we've got great standup comedy from nimesh patel [ cheers and applause stick around we'll be right back with adam sandler, everybody. come on. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: well, i have a video that someone shot of you doing -- doing something spectacular. take a look of adam sandler making a balcony shot. >> okay, yes yes. >> jimmy: look at this thing >> my name is adam sandler, and you are watching balcony ball. [ rim clanking ] >> oh. ♪was there something missing in my life 'til now♪ ♪an absence i could not quite place but knew somehow♪ ♪and then this vegan bakery came sliding down my screen♪ ♪and eva joan repair appeared and tightened up my seams♪ ♪voila marché rue dix remixed french tips and squid cuisine♪ ♪renowned♪ ♪endless, lit, infinite possibilities♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: welcome back welcome back, everybody. we have some fun news. last night was the mtv music and tv awards and "the tonight show" was voted best talk show, so i want to say thank you very much [ cheers and applause this is all voted on by the fans, so it's extra special to us you are why we do this show every night. so thank you to all my fans out there and thank you to mtv you know, that was pretty cool [ cheers and applause we have a great week of shows
ahead. melissa mccarthy will be here this week. [ cheers and applause super funny. love her demi lovato will be here bryce dallas howard will be here and we have music performances from miranda lambert, marcus king, and chris martin from cold play he's got a new band, the weirdos. but first, what a show we have tonight. he created and stars in the new show, "god's favorite idiot," which begins streaming on netflix june 15th. ben falcone is here tonight. [ cheers and applause [ laughter ] "favorite idiot. and he has a new comedy special called "thank you china," available now on youtube we have standup from nimesh patel, is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause "thank you china." but our first guest is one of our absolute favorites he is a five-time emmy and three-time grammy nominee starring in the new film, "hustle," which is in theaters now and on netflix this wednesday.
please welcome our pal, the one and only adam sandler. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> you gotta do the hustle >> jimmy: you gotta -- you have -- >> if you don't do the hustle, who are you? >> jimmy: you gotta do the hustle [ light laughter ] it's adam sandler. it's great to see you. >> i'm happy to see everybody. everybody looks very nice. you look fantastic >> jimmy: oh, come on, buddy you look great too it's great to see you in person >> yes >> jimmy: i noticed something going on in your eye, buddy. >> i had an accident, everybody. everything's all right, but i wish it was a good story it's pathetic. [ laughter ] so what happened was, jimmy, i'm in my bed. >> jimmy: uh-huh [ laughter ] oh, my god >> and so -- >> jimmy: wow. >> so i -- yeah, yeah, yeah. i'm in my bed.
it's 4:00 in the morning and somebody made the bed. you know when they make the bed and they tuck in the bottom part of the bed? [ laughter ] so -- so i'm in the bed, i'm kind of like, "it's 4:00 in the morning. i forgot to untuck it. i'm going, "why is it so uncomfortable? and i'm feeling squished and i have my phone is here next to me in the bed. i always before i go to sleep check out my net worth on the phone, you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah as one -- as one does. yeah, of course. >> you have -- you've got to know what how life is and all that >> jimmy: yeah, you got to know how much you're worth. >> so, anyway, i for real, started getting panicky and i kicked my legs so i -- it's like, "god, damn it." that's -- had broom and a phone fly through the air and hits me in the face, so at -- [ laughter ] [ sad tuba ] so funny anyways, i was bleeding terribly i mean, i thought it was pitch black in the room, and i feel -- and i feel wetness and i go, "yes, i'm -- i tricked myself." i go, "this is probably just thick tears.
[ laughter ] i really was so tired. >> jimmy: cry sometimes when you sleep? [ laughter ] >> i was having a sad dream. [ laughter ] i didn't want to get up, you know, because i was tired. and i was like, "ah, we'll fix that later." so, i slept. and then i think i took a pillow and put it on it to stop the bleeding. and then when i woke up, it was horrible [ light laughter ] it was bleeding all over it was gushing still and -- >> jimmy: blood all over the bed. >> there was blood on the bed and all that stuff and then, so i went to the - i said, "i've got to get this fixed," so i went to the apple store. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you got to get -- yeah, make sure that worked and yeah, yeah, yeah yeah how is it with fam i know you have two beautiful daughters. >> as do you i saw the pictures of the kids they look incredible >> jimmy: thank you, buddy yeah >> gorgeous. yep. >> jimmy: how old are your kids now? >> 13 and 16 so they had a bat mitzvah and a sweet 16 on the same weekend that was a big deal, right bat mitzvah -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's a lot of party. >> it was a big party.
it was such a giant party we threw for them, me and my wife that i literally had to sign a a new 10-picture deal with netflix to pay for it. [ laughter ] i need help, man >> jimmy: but i heard that this is the one -- >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: charlie puth and halsey was at and performed? come on. >> yeah, yeah. yes, they were awesome they were great. >> jimmy: that's a good dad. >> a good amount of people >> jimmy: good mom. >> yes, yes. actually, they - the kids had the greatest time and halsey and charlie puth were great to them all and included them. and the kids sang with them. and they just do it beautiful. but what it kind of warped their heads a little bit thinking like that's what happens at bat mitzvahs. [ laughter ] and, like, they went to a bat mitzvah a couple weeks later and one of my daughter's friends. i said, "how was the bat mitzvah? one of my daughter's friends said, "oh, it was lame you know, they didn't have no - the kid's grandmother sang karaoke. [ laughter ] i was like, "that's -- >> jimmy: yeah >> "you know, that's actually nice." you know and it was actually barbra streisand too it was -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, wow. yeah, you don't know yeah
[ laughter ] you sent over -- you sent over a photo -- >> yes >> jimmy: -- i think this is very sweet >> now this is incredible. >> jimmy: tell us about this this is your -- >> that's my wife's grandma. [ audience oohs 106 years old yesterday. and she's awesome. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: that's amazing >> she's a beautiful, funny, nice lady. always in a good mood, and just a good, good lady. and i love her and the whole family loves her >> jimmy: wow, what's she doing here >> she's pointing -- you see that she's pointing in that shot? she's pointing at me saying, "you'll never live this long." [ laughter ] no, no so, i do love her very much. we all went to see her in florida and then bought her a cake and put 106 candles on the cake for her and just to make it fun, i -- the candle was the gwyneth paltrow vagina candles [ laughter ] so, you know, the smell like the vagina candles >> jimmy: uh-huh >> so we put them on the cake. >> jimmy: uh-huh
[ laughter ] >> hang on there's more, there's more [ laughter ] and so, grandma blows very hard >> jimmy: oh, okay [ laughter ] >> and a lot of smoke in the room >> jimmy: yeah >> you know? so she just put a lot of pizazz into the blow to get all 106 vagina candles out and then everyone in the room was pregnant >> jimmy: there you go that's a great party unbelievable [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i want to talk about your fantastic movie, "hustle. >> thank you >> jimmy: congrats, bud. i loved it >> thank you >> jimmy: this movie is -- it's set in the world of professional basketball. >> yes >> jimmy: i know you love basketball >> yes >> jimmy: and lebron james calls you up and says, "adam, we should do this. i want to produce this movie with you." >> they -- his company, lebron's company, and joe roth, they had this great script and it was about a scout discovering someone overseas, bringing him into the nba and it was awesome and i got to know lebron a a little bit and i asked him - i do play a lot of hoops, so i wanted to get a quick tip. and i said, "anything you suggest to fix my game?" and he goes, "you should definitely -- it's very simple you should definitely get a full body transplant."
[ laughter ] so, yeah, i'm going to do that >> jimmy: that's interesting well, i have a video that someone shot of you doing something spectacular. take a look at adam sandler making a balcony shot. >> oh, okay. yes, yes >> jimmy: look at this >> my name is adam sandler and you are watching balcony ball. [ swish oh ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: carry you. i want to carry you around like rudy >> yeah. >> jimmy: i want to carry you around like rudy that's what i'm talking about. >> you can't with me, now. >> jimmy: yeah, i can. i want to talk more about "hustle" and show a clip when we come back more with adam sandler, everybody. that's how you do it ♪ [ cheers and applause
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we're hanging with our pal, adam sandler, who stars -- [ cheers and applause >> that was nice of you. get them riled up again. >> jimmy: no, come on. "hustle. let's talk about this. let's talk about "hustle." >> right >> jimmy: congrats it's getting great reviews i love it because it's almost like, to me, it's almost like "rocky" for basketball >> yes in philly. we shot in philly. my heart's out to philly the tragedy yesterday. it's terrible with the shooting >> jimmy: yeah >> and love to everyone in philly but yes, we had a great time in philadelphia you guys know it >> jimmy: the roots know exactly.
the roots are in -- they're in the soundtrack >> the roots -- we got a great tune of the roots and they got a lot of good fill-in music in there. and they were so nice to us while we were shooting and they just treated us like family, everybody there. so, thank you to philly. and we also shot in spain. we went to spain because i discover this kid in spain and bring him back to, you know, philly to try to get him into the nba. but i was telling jimmy when i went there, i'm swimming in the mediterranean, right it's very salty, the sea over there. [ light laughter ] the mediterranean has a lot of salt so, you float. you float. you don't even have to try to tread water. you just float so, i'm floating around, having a fun time floating. sandman just floating around >> jimmy: yeah, yeah [ laughter ] >> i look up and i see a beach and i said, "floating closer to the beach. everybody is nude. they're all feeling great about themselves being nude. and no one even cares. there's older people nude. young, good people who look
good, people who don't look so good, nude everyone is nude >> jimmy: everyone is nude >> they don't care they just feel comfortable they're just like, "it doesn't matter to me this is who i am i'm going to be nude." so, i go, "you know what let me do that let me try that. [ laughter ] i want to feel comfortable and confident. and everyone seems to be cool here let me get this, i'm swimming. i stand up in the water. i take my bathing suit off i'm still underwater and i'm, kind of, slowly working up the confidence. i take my bathing suit off and i say, i shouldn't do this i'm like, "is someone's going to take my picture and ruin my life let me just stay underwater. this was a mistake." i'm looking for my bathing suit but because it's so salty, the testicles and the -- [ laughter ] they were floating up, so you can see them kind of floating on top of the water and the other thing -- the thing attacks to the testicle on top of the testicle was floating around too and i was flying to push it down and it kept coming back up and floating [ laughter ] so there was a spanish sea gull nearby [ laughter ] [ rim shot ]
and the spanish sea gull, i think, it translated to the word, "worm. [ laughter ] and it starts coming toward me and then one or the other sees us, "no, no, no. no worm, no worm." >> jimmy: no, no, no >> but then a third sea gull goes, "mcdonald's french fry." so they're coming at me. i gave it to them. i was a guest in their country i said, "you all have a good time." and -- >> jimmy: that's what a gentleman does [ applause ] >> that's what i -- >> jimmy: you're a good man. you're a gentleman >> that's how they raised me [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love this movie. it's so good it's heartwarming. it's funny and if you love basketball or sports, you've got to check this out here's a clip. adam sandler in "hustle. take a look at this. >> thank you, buddy. >> finish the -- come on, man all right. your first year in the league, you're going to get no calls you need a handout get out of here. don't look so sad. go ahead, zoom in on that sad face of his right now. and i want you to finish through it let's go okay, show him the side. that's right
okay, yeah all right, you absorb the contact. i need you to finish through the contact. all right? alex, you get that yeah, we're getting it go, go, go, go, go, go and cut. move go down all the way. now finish it. [ swish that's how you make it to the rim. what happened? were you on me always on the money, sweetheart good god >> he is mad because he's hungry [ laughter ] >> what'd he say because i'm what he made a fat joke [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: adam sandler, everybody. "hustle" is in theaters now and on netflix this wednesday. more "tonight show" after the break. stick around ♪ [ cheers and applause
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>> jimmy: welcome back hey, guys, it is time for a brand-new game this is "shreddy or not. ♪ ♪ shreddy or no shreddy or not ♪ ♪ shreddy or no shreddy or not yeah ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: now, here's how this works. before the show, we found two members from our audience to come join us down here on stage. one of them is really good at guitar, a shredder the other has never held a a guitar before in their life. we have to figure out who's who by asking them each one question can we get our guitarists to the stage, please. come on over ♪ ♪ shreddy or no shreddy or not shreddy or not yeah ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: i'm just kidding how you doing? nice to see you, bud [ light laughter ] thank you for being here okay, contestant number one, what is your name, and where are you from >> my name is ellis, and i'm from l.a >> jimmy: okay ellis from l.a [ cheers and applause contestant number two, what is your name, and where are you from >> my name is hector and i'm originally from new york, but i live in jersey now. [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: and that's all i can ask you. that's all i can ask you now we have to figure out if you can shred. quest, you go first. you can ask them both just one question for both of them
>> questlove: okay did you master "eruption" or "stairway to heaven" first >> "eruption." >> i have no idea what that is [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's interesting i feel like that's a very poker move it's gotta be. >> tariq: he's trying to throw you off the trail. >> jimmy: yeah, he's trying to throw me off the trail higgins, it's your turn. what's your question >> steve: well, quest took mine [ laughter ] but, mullet. you have a mullet. hmm. all right. is one of your fingers super callused >> i mean, i use my hands a lot, so i have many calluses on a lot of my fingers >> steve: hmm. >> jimmy: okay >> steve: okay >> jimmy: all right. how about you? >> they're kind of soft. so - no, not really they're soft [ laughter ]
>> steve: bonus question can you play "wonderwall"? >> of course who can't play "wonderwall," you know >> steve: i thought he would say, "maybe. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. higgins, you asked too many. all right. okay, i think i know who shreds and who doesn't, but my question is, there's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold >> what is that? [ light laughter ] >> i'm sure she's a wonderful lady >> steve: what >> jimmy: all right. it's time to make our guesses. quest, who is the shredder what do you think? contestant number one or contestant number two? >> questlove: contestant number two is trying to throw me off. i think it's contestant number two. >> jimmy: okay higgbones, what do you think >> steve: i'm going to go with quest. 'cause it's too, it's too, too much [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know i will say contestant number one is kind of holding it like he's ready to just explode on the world. >> steve: ready to rock, yeah.
>> jimmy: and so i feel -- but unless he's doing a really good poker - >> steve: i think he is. i think he is. he's like maverick not the movie, but the poker player [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. it's time to find out. contestant number one, show us what you got >> all right roots, can we get a beat and see. ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: we got -- we got - [ cheers and applause we got played. i think we got played pretty bad. contestant number two. let's see if shreddy or not. ♪ ♪
>> jimmy: oh, my god [ cheers and applause oh that's what i'm talking about right there. contestant number two, you are the winner congratulations. ♪ you get -- you get a year subscription to "rv lifestyle" magazine because - [ laughter ] -- you're going to be going on tour >> right >> jimmy: and both of you -- here, you can take it. you both are going home with custom shreddy vedder sweatshirts tonight. ♪ congratulations. thank you for playing. you shred, buddy that was awesome oh, my god thanks for playing we'll be right back with ben falcone, everybody come on back [ cheers and applause ♪ psoriatic arthritis, made my joints stiff, swollen, painful. emerge tremfyant®. tremfya® is approved to help reduce joint symptoms in adults
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: our next guest is a very talented actor, writer, and director he created and stars in the new show "god's favorite idiot" which begins streaming on netflix june 15th. please welcome ben falcone ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: man, it's good to see you again, buddy >> it's good to see you too. how are you doing? >> jimmy: how are you? how's the fam? >> everybody is really good. thanks for asking. >> jimmy: yeah you're married to the very funny, melissa mccarthy. we've talked about this on the show you have two kids, right >> that's right.
we have two girls, yeah. >> jimmy: do they realize that their parents are funny? [ light laughter ] >> they do not they do not. [ laughter ] yeah, we try to do bits for them, jimmy. and usually, it's met with a a stone face and then, eventually like, "please stop. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, really >> what we decided is because they don't like our bits and they don't think we're funny, is that we go the other way. so, we say, "okay, fine. would you rather that we're bankers? and so, we had these characters that we play that are the bankers. and the bankers are very serious, and it becomes much more like, "georgette, i hope school was interesting today [ laughter ] would you please tell me the longest portion of your day? [ laughter ] and finally we do it long enough, and they'll be like, "okay, do your stupid dancing. >> jimmy: well, let's talk about your new show. it's called "god's favorite idiot. god, that made me laugh, just hearing that title can you set up what the show is about? i think it's a great idea. >> sure. it's just about this unassuming guy named clark. i play clark he is a messenger of god and he doesn't -- he doesn't know what's happening to him or why what's happening to him is happening to him and basically, it's a look - it's a comedy.
and it's a look at what would happen if, like, a doofus was chosen to save the world >> jimmy: i want to ask you about this because i know in the show, you fall in love with melissa's character. we were talking a little bit backstage, and you said, the proposal was terrible. >> i knew she was the one. i knew i loved her very much and i wanted to marry her. so -- but i didn't have all the things and, you know, i couldn't take her to a top of a mountain or anything and also she doesn't like mountains, so that would have been stupid in the first place >> jimmy: yeah, of course. so take the mountains off. >> yeah. no mountains so i'm like, her favorite place to get bagels is from this place. and her favorite place in town is our back porch. because she had just remodeled this house and the back porch was lovely. so, i've bagels. and i'm kind of starting to freak out. and i'm like, "melissa, would you like to go to the back porch, please? [ laughter ] and she's like, "oh, boy, he's getting a little weird on me." i'm about to drop to a knee,
and bang, bang, bang on the door who's that oh, it's a contractor. he's here to install a vintage toilet [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you can't ask her then >> no. because there's a guy messing around with the toilet like, i couldn't be the toilet proposal >> jimmy: no what do you do you have the bagels. >> so, i've got the bagels so, now we're just eating bagels and it's just weird. and so now, i take her to a dog park because i'm like, "plan b, a a dog park." and then, i'm like -- i don't want to -- we can't do this at a dog park finally -- >> jimmy: do you have a dog? >> we do at least we have a dog [ talking over each other >> jimmy: we're taking the plumber to a dog park. what's happening here? wow. >> so finally, i'm freaking out. my blood pressure is just skyrocketing all day and the guy leaves melissa is watching an autopsy show [ laughter ] and playing like a hand held tetris game that you would play with -- i don't know 20 years ago. and i literally -- i'm so jacked up and i'm freaked out.
and i just rush at her and go, "melissa, will you marry me! [ laughter ] and she did -- actually, she technically never said yes [ laughter ] she was just, i think, so freaked out. she gave me a hug and it seemed like everything was cool and we did get married. >> jimmy: you've been married ever since congratulations on that. that's a beautiful story [ cheers and applause i love it when you come on you guys make a great team i want to show everyone a clip here's ben falcone and melissa mccarthy in "god's favorite idiot." take a look at this. >> i just was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime? but with me though i ask because i think you're really nice. and you're -- you're very lovely you're very bold also in a non-harassment way in the workplace. i wanted just to say that i think you're not ugly. in an attractiveness way oh, that's not it. >> that is not it. you basically just called me a a dude and an ugly dude
>> perhaps we could imagine that i'm doing this better could we pretend, perhaps, that i'm a brad pitt? i don't know brad pitt i should call him bradley pitt coul like bradley pitt is suddenly inside of my body. >> it's a different visual >> he is not -- yeah he's not there and that's -- let's wipe our slate clean of that. [ laughter and applause >> jimmy: ben falcone, everybody. "god's favorite idiot" begins streaming on netflix june 15th we'll be right back with stand-up from nimesh patel stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: our next guest has his new stand-up special, "thank you china" available now on youtube making his "tonight show" debut, please welcome the very funny nimesh patel ♪ [ cheers and applause >> hi, hi, hi. thank you guys so much my parents caught me smoking weed on a youtube livestream at age 35 my dad called me immediately "nimesh, what are you smoking? i said, it's weed, dad he said, "you need to quit." i said, "okay, dad, i'll quit smoking weed when you quit smoking cigarettes." he said the most dad thing ever he said, "i'm not going to argue with you." i said, "yeah, dad, we just had the argument
you lost [ laughter ] it's fine. take the 'l,' bro. he said, "i'll get you back. then he hung up. and a few minutes later, i start seeing all the dislikes on my youtube videos go up by one. [ laughter ] and then i got a call from my mom. "nimesh, what are you smoking? and she's mad religious, so i said, hindu kush [ laughter ] she said, "don't get smart is that weed you need to stop it's illegal." i said, "illegal so is not paying taxes on that all-cash liquor store we got going on, but -- [ laughter ] i won't tell if you don't. without missing a beat, she says "nimesh, the stores in your name. you don't pay taxes. [ laughter ] snitching on myself. and then, she said, "nimesh, you need to quit you have asthma. i said, "mom, i read when i was high that weed is a bronchodilator." and she goes, "oh. so now you want to be a doctor hm, that's cute.
[ laughter ] speaking of which -- speaking of which clap if you believe that americans deserve healthcare clap if you believe americans -- [ cheers and applause you don't? me neither [ laughter ] i think we need it but i don't think we deserve it i know i don't deserve healthcare a few years ago, i discovered exactly how much weed i need to smoke to have an asthma attack i had an asthma attack [ laughter ] i went to a kanye west concert back when it was okay to do. [ laughter ] i smoked four joints in an hour and then his song "i am a god" came on. and i was like, "i'm not, kanye. i have to go to the hospital." [ laughter ] and i called an uber to the hospital because an ambulance is $600. and i'm not going to die a a sucker, you know get to the hospital. nyu langone in cobble hill, brooklyn and now i have asthma, so i know exactly what i need "doctor, i'm having an asthma attack."
"you're having an asthma attack." "i need albuterol nebulizer. "you need albuterol nebulizer. i'm like, is this self check-out? what's happening right now [ laughter ] just give me my medicine he's like, "you'll be fine." then he shuffles away in his ferragamo loafers. and then in comes a nurse who has a menu of all the other stuff i could get since i stopped in that casa de nyu. [ light laughter ] blood work ekg. the chef recommended x-rays. but i don't present as a a 30-year-old indian man having a heart attack what they're doing is running up the insurance tab because insurance will just pay whatever the hospital says whatever they don't pay, they pass on to you but, luckily, i said the magic words. i said, "i don't have insurance. [ laughter ] this lady threw an inhaler at me [ laughter ] and was like, "get out you wheezy, broke loser. [ laughter and applause you're clapping for poor healthcare that's great, that's great [ laughter ] in and out in an hour and a half
two weeks later, get the bill. $6,000 yeah i had another asthma attack. [ laughter ] [ wheezing ] $6,000 for an hour and a half and not a single orgasm. [ laughter ] but luckily, i was raised by indian people who taught me that the price is never the price until you talk about the price. i called the hospital. i said, "listen, i'm not giving you $6,000." they said, "why not? i said, "well, for one, you already gave me the medicine two, i don't have $6,000." now i had $6,000 but i also know a little bit about the healthcare system. i know that if you get sick at the beginning of the year like i did, every hospital has this giant pool of money they have to give away for free care in order to stay non-profit sidebar, if you get sick and have to go to hospital in like december, just hold on, okay [ laughter ] just hold on for dear life and i know this because i'm talking to them.
"listen, i don't have $6,000 i can't give you $6,000. i don't have $6,000. they literally said, "how much do you have? [ laughter ] did i call the mob "i got nothing you can break my knees if you want i'm not giving you $6,000. they're like, "all right, mr. patel, no need to be upset listen, if you don't have $6,000, you don't owe us $6,000 but if you have $6,000, and you're not paying it, you might be taking $6,000 out of the pocket of someone who truly can't pay. i said, "don't hate the player hate the game. click. [ laughter ] thank you guys so much i mean that. thanks ♪ >> jimmy: come on. nimesh patel [ cheers and applause "thank you china" is available now on youtube my thanks to adam sandler, ben falcone, nimesh patel! [ cheers and applause and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania thank you for watching stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers. goodnight, everybody [ cheers and applause ♪
♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- michael che, kylie minogue, author leila mottley featuring the 8g band with fred armisen and joe russo ♪ [ cheers and applause and now, seth meyers >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause good to hear in that case, let's get to the news after president biden met last
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