tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC August 3, 2022 12:37am-1:37am PDT
[ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, adam sandler, author james patterson seth goes "day drinking" with post malone, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen and joe russo and now, seth meyers [ cheers and applause >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. we hope you're all doing well tonight. now, if you don't mind, we're gonna get to the news.
first lady dr. jill biden yesterday unveiled a new postage stamp that honors former first lady nancy reagan. the stamp will be very helpful when you need to figure out which birthday card came from your grandparents. [ laughter ] let's see, flower, flower, snoopy, gay pride -- oh! here go. [ laughter ] transportation secretary pete buttigieg announced yesterday that he has tested positive for a breakthrough case of the coronavirus unfortunately, he's still not old enough for the vaccine [ laughter ] according to reports, former president trump's advisers are divided on if trump should announce his re-election campaign before this year's midterm elections, or wait so he does not take attention away from other candidates. oh, 'cause he'd hate stealing attention. [ laughter ] trump's like a bridesmaid who keeps mentioning in her speech that it's her half-birthday. [ laughter ] according to reports, former president trump may launch his re-election campaign
on july 4th, so step aside, dogs, it's our turn to hate that day [ laughter ] that's a good -- that's a very good scared-of-a-fireworks dog right there. that's how you say it, "a fireworks," right yeah, yeah [ light laughter ] it sounded weird, but that's definitely the way you say it. the 6th installment of the dinosaur sci-fi series called "jurassic world: dominion" will be released this friday in theaters. man, if that series goes on any longer, they're gonna have to include mammals. [ laughter ] the horses are out [ laughter ] lawmakers in new york recently passed the so-called "stop the chop act" which will allow residents to sue companies for excessive helicopter noise so now, new york residents will only have to deal with noise from garbage trucks, street sweepers, ambulances, weed wackers, leaf blowers, and people screaming when a rat pops its head out of a bodega [ laughter ]
and finally, a guinea pig in hungary named molly was recently honored with the guinness world record for most basketball slam dunks in 30 seconds. but before you get too excited, full disclosure, apparently, the rim was only set at nine feet, six inches [ laughter ] you know, i was a little concerned that that was our closer [ laughter ] you know what, then i thought, "trust the process, baze knows." [ laughter ] i also don't know why i -- you know what, guys, look, the important thing is we told that joke. [ laughter ] we had the courage to tell it. that was a monologue, everybody. we have a fantastic show for you tonight. the one, the only, the legend, adam sandler will be here, the sandman! [ cheers and applause his new film, "hustle",
is terrific. it's in select theaters now and on netflix tomorrow. and this is so exciting, his autobiography, "james patterson by james patterson" is on sale now our friend, james patterson will be back on the show. [ cheers and applause but before we get to all that, every once in a while, to relax, to let my hair down a little bit, i like to go day drinking with one of my friends well, i did just that at a fantastic bar called the waylon on 10th avenue and 50th street here in new york city. why don't we all take a look ♪ >> seth: it's summer in new york city, we're at the waylon on 10th street, and it's the perfect day for day drinking, so i thought i'd invite one of my oldest friends, post malone. how are you, post? >> i'm fantastic, sir. >> seth: you ready to do this? >> yes, sir. let's get after it >> seth: all right, let's put 'em down ♪ [ light laughter ] >> it's gonna be a fun one
>> seth: it's time for "day drinking" with seth and post [ burps ♪ all right, i want to get to know each other before we take off. we met a few times, but, you know, i think by the end of the day, we're gonna be intensely close. >> yes sir >> seth: but instead of asking you questions about you, i'm gonna ask you questions about me, and see what you think >> okay. >> seth: first one up, i spent a lot of my 20s in a european country. what european country do you think i lived in >> could you, like, tighten your coat? >> seth: is this helping >> brussels. [ buzzer sounds >> seth: pretty close. amsterdam. >> brussels is not a country >> seth: no, no, no, belgium, and amsterdam, netherlands, but i feel like those are -- i'm gonna give you a point for adjacent >> okay! cool. >> seth: yeah, i'm give you a point. >> you want to drink that? >> seth: yeah, okay, here we go. finish this. ♪ all right, i do something on my show three nights a week, it's the signature piece of my show what's it called >> seth meyers rocks [ buzzer sounds >> seth: better name that's a better name than what
we call it you know what? let's each do half a shot. just a halfer. a halfer ♪ all right, i had a netflix stand-up special i named it after the place my second son was born. where was my second son born >> helicopter. >> seth: god damn it [ laughter ] it's wrong [ buzzer sounds [ laughs ] >> seth: you want to ask me one? try to drop one on me. >> okay. i performed on your show in 2017. what song did i sing >> seth: "congratulations. [ bell sounds >> that's not fair >> seth: i remember it i remember it. "congratulations." i remember the time thinking you were singing directly to me. saying, "congratulations." >> of course >> seth: everything's gone so smoothly >> on your son being born in the helicopter, right? [ laughter ] >> seth: congratulations on your helicopter baby. >> i guess i gotta drink now ♪ >> seth: all right, give me one that's easy. >> okay. what is my real, full name ♪ >> seth: mark e. post. [ buzzer sounds >> austin richard post >> seth: austin richard post and you got post malone from a rap generator.
>> very much so. >> seth: when you hit the generator, did you take the first one it gave you? >> i think it gave me a list of five. >> seth: do you remember any of the other four >> they were really bad, like "funky p" or something [ laughs ] that would've been insane. imagine if i took that one >> seth: let me tell you this, i'm not day drinking with no funky p. [ laughs ] >> hey, maybe you might. maybe you might. >> seth: funky p's outside banging on the doors security goes, "funky! oh, i'm so sorry, i don't know how he found out we were here. what show was i on before i had my late night talk show? >> "snl. [ bell sounds >> seth: there you go. >> yeah! [ laughs ] >> seth: look at us! we've known each other forever we're longtime friends [ laughs ] >> seth: all right, let's move on to the next i'm gonna have one more shot, because i'm enjoying this so much. >> yes, sir. >> seth: all right, so we usually make drinks inspired by the artist's songs, but you have a great amount of tattoos that are very inspirational, so we're gonna make drinks based on them. you have a tattoo, true or false it says, "tired no more" >> "always tired." >> seth: what?
>> same thing. [ laughs ] >> seth: you have, um, a tattoo that's "always tired"? >> yes, sir. >> seth: so our team got the first tattoo wrong [ laughter ] welp, this is called "tired no more," which is the tattoo i'm gonna make those [bleep] dummies get. [ laughter ] it's got coffee, and then it's got some red bull, and then it's got some four loko you have some flavors. you have blue-razz there's no matazz without the razz and some pixy stix so this is gonna help wake us up. [ laughter ] cheers ♪ that is not -- well, look at you, okay. [ laughter ] you're a different kind of cat, post. >> this is pretty -- i think that's pretty good >> seth: mm-hmm. >> you can sell that and the good news is we can sell it because the name's available. [ laughter ] [ beep ] hey, mea culpa, everybody, i was told after the first drink that
i misread the intro. these are based on your tattoos, inspired by. >> sure, sure, okay. >> seth: and i should've known your tattoo was "always tired", because i'm reading it >> no. literally at this moment so i do want to apologize to my writers who just, they give their all every day. [ laughter ] my goodness, the effort they put into this show and, yeah, so, so sorry. [ laughter ] the next drink is called a "stay away gibson. >> oh, man >> seth: all right, do you have a tattoo that says "stay away" >> i do. yes sir. >> seth: all right, so, oh, that's interesting [ laughs ] at least it's consistant >> seth: okay, you guys, so a stay away gibson >> oh, man, i'm not getting any kisses later >> seth: no, exactly we're gonna put some gin, we're gonna put a dry vermouth, lots of brine >> what is brine >> seth: brine is like a salty water. >> it's salt water >> seth: yeah, it's salt water, yeah. all these pickled onions, so i think that's enough. and we'll do this real quick and we'll shake it, and we'll pour enjoy the stay away gibson >> this smells crazy
>> seth: yeah it does. >> are you drinking this >> seth: i'm gonna try it. ♪ [ laughter ] >> it's real bad [ laughter ] it's real bad. [ gags ] this might be one of the most vile things i've ever tasted [ laughter ] >> seth: and post malone - >> i do a lot of crazy stuff [ laughter ] >> seth: all right, so, as to not get in trouble, i'll name the drink, and you tell me the tattoo you think it's based on "ring of fire. >> that sounds like fun. johnny cash tattoo >> seth: there you go. so a "ring of fire." you like spicy, i would imagine? >> i like spicy stuff, yeah. >> seth: you live in texas you're a texas guy >> yeah, i like spicy stuff. >> seth: all right, so jalapeno tequila, absolute pepper vodka they tell you not to mix them, but you'll see >> that exists >> seth: st. agrestis inferno bitter oh, no, tabasco. ♪ [ laughter ] and now, ooh, vinegar. >> why
>> seth: 'cause we're having fun [ laughs ] >> okay. >> seth: all right, now we're gonna pour this in and here's the exciting thing about this, is it comes with a shot of milk chaser, because of course dairy's very helpful with the spicy. >> thank you very much >> seth: all right, here you go. to the "ring of fire." cheers, my friend. >> cheers. ♪ >> seth: oh. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] why did you get a johnny cash tattoo [ laughter ] >> it wasn't about spicy foods [ laughs ] >> the song -- >> seth: but that's the thing about tattoos -- >> it was about love >> seth: -- you never know what it will inspire. [ laughter ] >> oh, my god, my lips are crazy right now. >> seth: yeah, that wasn't good. we're gonna cleanse the palate you have your own line of rosé >> that's true >> seth: what is your rosé called? >> it's called maison no. 9. >> seth: maison no. 9. did you get that from a rap name generator? [ laughs ]
>> i wish! that would [bleep] >> seth: from a wine name generator now, where are these grapes from? >> they're from france >> seth: if i find out you had nothing to do with this -- >> no, no, i was there i was there! [ laughs ] >> seth: this is - cheers, yeah ♪ it's really good >> it's good >> seth: it's really good. i want to let people behind the camera a little bit -- you took a smoke break >> sure. >> seth: i've heard cigarettes are a gateway to smoking other things has that happened to you >> what kind of stuff? >> seth: have you ever done weed >> uh, i might've done weed maybe once >> seth: and then you ultimately decided your path was rosé >> well -- [ laughter ] yeah, excatly. well, that's the whole thing, that's how it goes you smoke a cigarette -- >> seth: okay, oh, this is great, talk it through for the kids >> you smoke a cigarette [ laughter ] then you go on to weed then you're like, "i don't like weed," and then you go on to
rosé wine. [ laughter ] i mean, that's a logical next step for you. [ laughs ] >> seth: they don't tell you that all right, well, this has been, i feel like we've really cleared the palate here. >> yes, sir. >> seth: maison no. 9. >> hey >> seth: in honor of our dear, my dear friend post malone, not his real name, we're gonna play a game called "post it." here's the deal. >> okay. >> seth: i'm gonna put a celebrity on your head and them i'm gonna try to get you to guess it. and then, as soon as i get it right, you put a celebrity on my head, you try to get me to guess it >> you got it. >> seth: we have two minutes, and go okay he is a folk singer who is born in minnesota, "like a rolling stone. >> bob dylan >> seth: yes okay, you got it >> seth: okay. >> oh! [laughs] don't look, don't look top jet. >> seth: tom cruise. >> tom -- yeah >> seth: "top jet," my god wait, no, don't show me. >> very famous painter >> seth: picasso >> okay, perfect >> seth: great oh, horror author from maine >> stephen king. >> seth: yes, great.
>> oh, he's a writer >> seth: charles dickens >> ooh, you're a liar! yeah, because that's right >> seth: no! [ laughter ] he's an inventor >> thomas edison >> seth: e = mc2 >> albert einstein >> seth: yeah! you sons of bitches! you're trying to get us, but we gotcha we gotcha! i think we got them all. >> yeah, that was pretty good. >> seth: you thought we were stupid. we're not stupid, you're stupid. it's the part of the day we all knew was coming, post is gonna give me face tattoos all right, here are things i love, i love the pittsburgh steelers, so anything you could do with those. i love the flash as a superhero, i love him that's my dog, frisbee can you take the pen and do the work >> you got it. >> seth: now, i'm guessing that your tattoo artists haven't had as much to drink before they go to work. do you think someone with as many tattoos as you, then has, like, some natural skill at it or do you think -- >> uh, yeah, i think i take what
i can get. >> seth: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and i get what i can take >> seth: if i saw a tattoo parlor that said that on the door, i might look for a different one. [ laughter ] i'm enjoying this. >> it's nice, it's therapeutic >> seth: i see it like you just give yourself over >> we're gonna give you a nice forehead dinger. one that i'm not brave enough to do this. >> seth: look, i'm gonna tell you something about me, post - >> sir >> seth: i've got a lot of forehead to work with. [ laughter ] the world is your easel. okay, post, i'm gonna say something, i don't believe that in the time you've done this that you've hit all the things that i've asked you to hit [ laughs ] >> i bet you're right. i'll take that back. >> seth: i'm gonna take a look, and you guys in real time, are gonna see how i feel about the work that post has done. i asked him to the steelers, and the flash, and frisbee, and "a closer look. >> i focused on frisbee. [ laughter ] wait, i don't even know where frisbee's supposed to be is frisbee there >> frisbee's right in, directly in the middle of your forehead
>> seth: what's everything there? >> that's the air. that you see it traveling through the air. that's kind of badass. >> seth: okay, what is this? >> it says, "hi. [ laughter ] >> seth: did i request "hi"? >> no. >> seth: okay. >> that's because the steelers sucks and the flash is slow compared to superman >> seth: oh, [bleep] off what're you talking -- are we having this argument that's, like - are we gonna blow it right now >> we can if you want. >> seth: flash is faster than superman. >> there's no way! >> seth: what are you talking about? >> there's no way! >> seth: that's his one thing. that's his one thing >> that's his one thing, but there's also hawkeye who has a bow and arrow. >> seth: are you saying that superman is better at bow and arrow than hawkeye are you saying that to me? >> probably. he's a human being with a bow and arrow! >> seth: is this the kind of argument you have with your tattoo artist when he asks you for a design like, who's gonna be faster, flash or superman?
>> there's no way that hawkeye could beat superman in a foot race or a bow-and-arrow race >> seth: oh, my god. they don't races with bow and arrows, it's about aim buddy, i love you very much. >> i love you. >> seth: i think, i want to say something. "cheers" is, like, the greatest show to ever take place at a bar, and the guy who owned the bar was named sam malone, and your name is post malone, and you're an incredible musician, and i'd like for us to move over to this piano right now and sing the theme song to the hit television show, "cheers." >> i hope you know how to play it. >> seth: i know -- [ laughter ] you guys, i had the most wonderful day with my new best friend, post malone [ gurgles >> seth: turns out, post does not know the television show, "cheers", but we do have the lyrics so are you ready >> yes, sir. i think i'm as ready as i've ever been. >> seth: here we go, ready [ laughs ] ♪ ♪ making your way in the world today takes everything you've got ♪ ♪ taking a break from all your worries
sure would help a lo wouldn't you like to ♪ ♪ get away ♪ [ playing off-key notes ♪ sometimes you want to go where everybody know your name ♪ ♪ and they're always glad you came you want to be where you can see ♪ our troubles are al the same you want to be where everybody ♪ ♪ knows your name all lost in post malone ♪ [ laughs ] >> seth: this has been "day drinking" with seth and - ♪ pos post malon ba-da-ba-da-ba-b ba ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba ♪ ♪ >> hey [ cheers and applause >> seth: my thanks to post malone and everybody at the waylon we'll be right back with adam sandler, everybody! [ cheers and applause ♪
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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause sitting in with us on drums this week, he's known for his work with acts such as craig finn, cass mccombs, and his group, joe russo's almost dead, who you can see live at saratoga performing arts center on july 25th please welcome back to the show, one of our favorites, joe russo, everybody!
thanks for being with us, joe. >> thanks so much, seth. [ cheers and applause ]e >> seth: and you guys, so exciting, fred armisen is back with the 8g band. give it up for fred! >> thank you [ cheers and applause ]e >> seth: fred, true story did you just launch your own discount airline >> i did >> seth: that's so exciting. >> it's called caricature airlines. and the whole airline is just, like, based on caricatures, you know what i mean so, like, you know, the design of the plane is sort of like a caricature of what a plane would look like. >> seth: gotcha. >> just, everything's very sort of exaggerated the seats are kind of goofy and kind of, you know. and, yeah, we've got like three planes and it's good we're gonna do our launching our new york to london flight. and the flight path is kind of a caricature that's kind of like, you know, a little bit like. >> seth: caricature airline, that's great congratulations, fred. >> thank you >> seth: all right our first guest tonight is a legendary comedian and actor you know from films such as "uncut gems," "the wedding singer," and "happy gilmore," and of course his time on
"saturday night live." he executive produced and stars in "hustle" which is in select theaters now and on netflix tomorrow please welcome back to the show our very good friend, adam sandler, everybody! [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome back! >> thank you hi, everybody. thank you. >> seth: so happy to have you here >> oh, i'm so jealous. that post malone thing was so fun >> seth: we got after it, he and i. we got after it a little bit >> how did nobody throw up >> seth: um, i'm not saying nobody did [ laughter ] that was the magic of editing, it was very helpful. >> oh, my god. >> seth: now, adam, i'm a little worried, something happened here. you got a black eye. >> god, i wish it was -- i've been telling people that i fought jake paul [ laughter ] but i was in bed, and my phone flew up and --
so, i've been talking about it today, i feel like an idiot saying it again, but i was stuffed in a bed you know when they tuck you into bed, and they tuck it under the thing like that, and you make the decision before you get into bed, you go, "do i want to struggle pulling that? let me just get in there." and i didn't pull. and so i got in there, and then like four in the morning, i was going, "why did i? and then my stupid phone was here, and i was kicking the thing, and it flew in the air and hit me in the face [ laughter ] >> seth: don't let anybody tell you that's an embarrassing story, i think that's a great way to get a black eye fortunately, that happened -- i guess that happened after this so at least you did not have a -- >> yes >> seth: so you gave the commencement at your alma mater. >> yes, nyu, yes, yes. that was a great day [ cheers and applause >> seth: this is stressful, though, right? >> oh, my god, once i said that i'm doing that, i was so terrified to do the speech because it meant a lot to me,
and i wanted everybody to be happy and i knew everybody's families were there and anyways, i worked hard, and we had a great time. do you know, i'll tell you this, this is funny. fred, i think you'll like this i did "punch-drunk love", and i was so excited i did a cool movie blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and i was like, "i bet my nyu -- those guys will like that movie there. 'cause i was always doing comedies and it'd get pretty serious, that school, so i was like, "they'll like the 'punch-drunk love'." but so me and paul thomas anderson got invited to talk to the film school, and i remember walking out there going, "it's pretty cool, man, i made something of myself," but i sit down, and i'm with pta next to him, and literally every question, "any questions for these guys?" every question, "mr. anderson, what camera did you use in 'boogie nights'," or blah, blah, blah and literally, like, 30 in a row, i was going - [ laughter ] they're just asking mr. anderson everything 'cause he's the king of film and i was just
like, "you know, when i did bobby boucher. [ laughter ]e [ applause ] anyway >> seth: when you get sweaty, and you start, like, looking for it >> yes, i'm like, "do i look at paul, too, and ask him something? "how did you do... anyways. >> seth: it's fantastic. we've talked in the past about your girl is 16 and 13 >> yes, yes. >> seth: they've grown up. >> yeah, it hurts. it hurts that my daughters and that boys are now going to be involved with their life and that >> seth: how are you feeling about that >> i'm getting very nervous and very tense i'm not very comfortable with that. i think i'm more comfortable with my wife bringing home somebody. [ laughter ] i would actually feel like, all right, i have more in common with, like, boys that age turning 16, i literally have nothing to talk to them about. my wife, if she brought, i'd be like, "hey, man, you go to my golf club, right?" [ laughter ] "have fun with my wife, just don't stay out too late. [ laughter ]
>> seth: 16, driving >> yes >> seth: i mean, like, l.a kid, you gotta learn how to drive, right >> it comes out of nowhere, you're gonna see all of a sudden, your nice, little kids are, like, their friends are all driving. my daughter is getting her license next month, and she drives around with the driver's ed guy, which is cool but then she's gotta practice with us, me and my wife, and you're like in, like, the driver's ed guy has the brake. [ laughter ] and so he's, like, safe, i'm, like, with my 16-year-old daughter, and i'm nervous for her, because, like, there's a partition -- you can't -- i don't know how i'm gonna hit the brake, like, dive over or push on it. and so i'm just like, i don't want her to get hurt, you know, like, me -- i don't think about i'm gonna die, which i'm almost like, "you know what i've had enough. [ laughter ] i don't mind me dying," but i'm like, "this kid's got a nice --" so i want to help her. so when she went to school one day, i went out in our family car, and sneakily installed a brake. i had one of the guys who knows
what he's doing put a brake on my side so just in case, when we're driving around - >> seth: you have a driver's side brake on your car now? >> just, like, a pull thing -- nobody knows about it, my kid don't know about it, i never had to use it with her my wife, though, we were driving, she got into the car, and she was like, "before we go to dinner, i'd love to go to this antique store." and i was just like... [ hisses ] [ laughter ] i don't know i feel that's a little, whatever, wack >> seth: we talked about the first bat mitzvah, you've got another one coming up or have you had it have you had them both >> we had the bat mitzvah couple weeks ago. >> seth: okay, so you've got them both out of the way now >> cost a lot of money, though, so >> seth: while you were watching theirs, did it remind you of your bar mitzvah >> no. [laughs] my kids' bat mitzvah was like an extravaganza, i don't even know what the hell's happening. they're all insane dancing and there's, like, sexuality running
around, and. but my bar mitzvah was just in the basement at my parents' house i think we went to the temple in a day, my parents maybe bought some meatballs or something, put it downstairs in the basement, some neighbors came over, i think. but that was the first time i jammed my guitar teacher had a band, and he was the band, and he let me play "my sharona. i played "my sharona" when i was 13, and all my friends gathered around. and i played "my sharona," i was singing, and all my new hampshire friends were like, "sandler can sing, man." and i was, like, looking people directly in the eyes just going - [ imitates guitar riff ] and that was like my first time getting the -- >> seth: that's very formative i feel like that is, like, what you would want to hear about a bar mitzvah, like, you've crossed the threshold there. >> i swear to god, i think i went to bed that night going, "i gotta -- i'm gonna be a rock star one day." and then i swear to god, i went to nyu, and i thought i was gonna be a rock star until i got to nyu and in my hallway, there were like five other guys playing guitar, just doing every.
[ imitates guitar riff ] everything, and i was just going, "i gotta be a comedian. [ laughter ] there's no way i'm gonna compete with that. >> seth: i want to talk about the new film, which is great we'll be right back with more with adam sandler. [ cheers and applause ♪ nerd i just h been feeling myself lately. i've been trying to find a better way to save my money, but i keep dragging my feet. oh, sorry. oh i'm out. what a surprise. you know at nerdwallet we have side-by-side comparisons of top high-yield savings accounts. that way you can make the smartest decision and get the most out of your money. ah, that's incredible. how'd you do that? i thought you did it. nerdwallet. the smartest decision for all your financial decisions. who do you think you are, taking up space? making a scene, and indulging yourself?
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>> i'm gonna make a couple of call so i can see you play with some guys on your level tomorrow >> i gotta work. >> how old are you >> 22. >> basketball years are like dog years. if we're gonna do this, we actually gotta do this now >> and how much money will you pay him? >> to come to philly he'll be a pro-rated league minimum >> but you say he was great, for great, you pay the maximum, no >> yeah, yes nba contract of any kind is maximum, no?
>> and how much is the minimum >> minimum salary in the nba is $900,000 >> he will call in sick. >> seth: welcome back to "late night. we're here with adam sandler that was a clip from his new film, "hustle", which is great [ cheers and applause >> thank you, man. >> seth: and this script came via lebron james' production company >> yes, yes. >> seth: him and maverick carter, they're wonderful guys >> great guys, and they have a movie business, and they had this great script about a scout that discovers a guy overseas, and he tries to get him in the nba. it was amazing so i read the script, and i was like, "this is awesome, and thank you so much for thinking of me. and i called the guys up, and i said, "i loved it, i loved the character, and i loved the fact that, you know, he was a scout he's smart, he weighs 220 lbs. and they were like, "what do you mean with the 220 lbs? and i go, "well, let's set it in the script he weighs 250, all right? and they go, "you just said 220." i go, "he weighs 280 lbs [ laughter ] and i'd love to do it. and they were like, "do you
weigh that now?" i said, "no, i'm 160, but i can get there in a day." [ laughter ] >> seth: incredible cast i mean, you're a natural in it juancho, who's an actual nba player, is a fantastic actor in this. >> i know. >> seth: does it drive you crazy when an athlete's also a good actor. >> all these guys in the movie, all the nba guys, they're just cool. they're cool, they're confident. they probably, their entire life, have been told they're cool they're just better at everything. juancho's just handsome as hell. he's 6'9", there's no room he doesn't walk into that everybody doesn't go, "hey, look at that guy." [ laughter ] so, i don't know, he just, but he was such a great guy, such a great actor. and i would tell him after takes, 'cause he would play it so real and look deep into my eyes and say stuff, and i was going, "geez, this guy's good. but i would tell him how great he was, and he'd be like, "at what?" i'd be like, "at that scene, you were just great. he'd go, "oh, okay." [ laughter ] he didn't care, he didn't care
it meant nothing to him. >> seth: i always thought athletes were great at "snl", because they would never get nervous because it was so meaningless compare to what they actually did for a living. >> ah, you're right, you're right >> seth: like, no athlete could be so bad on "snl" they'd get cut from a team. [ laughter ] >> that's so funny >> seth: i'm one of the best players in the world, this is stupid, what you guys do >> who did you have? you had peyton manning >> seth: we had peyton we had brady, yeah but we had barkley, did you have barkley >> we had barkley, too great, funny guy we had barkley we had michael jordan. when i was there, michael jordan, he hung out with us. that was, like, we were so in love with him everyone was in love with mj 'cause he was such a sweetheart and so nice to us. and he would say your name remember when i superstar says your name, you're just like, "he knows my name. and it's just incredible you know what's funny? i don't know if i ever told you this, bruce springsteen, i love bruce springsteen. and so i was working out, i might've told this story, but i'll tell it anyways and you can cut it out if it's too long
[ laughter ] so i went to a gym on, like, 60th street in eastside i used to work out, i used to go, "i'm not as funny as everybody on the show, but i'm gonna look better. [ laughter ] right, so anyways, i work out, i go to this gym, and i'm working out at this real crappy gym. i forget the name of it. but anyways, i keep seeing this guy i'm like, "that guy looks like bruce springsteen. so i go, "oh, this can't be bruce springsteen. anyway, i'm going, "from that angle, it looks like bruce springsteen. we're working out at the same gym there're no way he'd be at this crap gym," blah, blah, blah. anyways, i know i'm talking a lot, but here we go. so - [laughs] so anyways, bruce springsteen walks by, i'm on the thing that, this one, i'm doing this he stops right on me, i'm looking right at springsteen i'm like, "that is bruce springsteen. he goes, "hey. i go, "hey." and he goes, "i know you," and i go, "you do? and he goes, "you're, uh, allan stanley. [ laughter ] and i go, "yeah, yeah, yeah. so, anyways, i come back to the
show, and i see farley, i'm like, "dude, i saw bruce springsteen at the gym." he's like, "no you didn't. i go, "he knew me! he knew me and he's like, "there no way that's -- there's no way." i go, "he called me allan stanley, but he knew me, he recognized me from the show," and blah, blah, blah so anyways, and then everyone's kind of, the next day, walking around, they're going, they're saying, like, "you're lying. and i was like, "it was bruce springsteen, he knew me," and blah, blah, blah so, like, two years later, springsteen is the musical guest on the show, and he's coming by and saying hi to everybody and blah, blah, blah and i'm standing there, i'm like, "there's no way. right? then he looks at me and goes, "hey, man," and everyone kind of looks and he goes, "you still go to that gym? [ laughter ] [ applause ] and i was like, "just a while. [ laughter ] >> seth: allan stanley >> allan stanley >> seth: keeping it tight. >> yeah. >> seth: hey, congratulations on the film, it's fantastic it is always the best to have you here you guys, adam sandler "hustle" in select theaters now
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is one of the best-selling authors of all time his autobiography, "james patterson by james patterson: the stories of my life," is on sale now please welcome back to the show james patterson. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: welcome back to the show >> this is so cool i'm not usually up this late >> seth: it's a big deal to have you past the witching hour
so, last time you were here was with a book you co-wrote with former president bill clinton. >> oh, yeah, i forgot about that >> seth: yeah. you've written books with dolly parton is it nice to be out with the spotlight all to yourself? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. no, this is good this is good i like it. >> seth: yeah. you obviously, you write thrillers. you come up with thrilling titles, the kind of title that make people say, "i've got to read this book." tell us how you came up -- >> are you suggesting that that title isn't any good [ laughter ] >> seth: "james patterson by james patterson" >> here's a question i have for you, though. who the hell's the guy on the cover? >> seth: i was going to say, 'cause i went and said hi to you backstage and then i saw this book, and i'm like, "what's going on here? [ laughter ] >> that's exactly what happens to me. i go to the -- get up in the morning, stumble into the bathroom, and i look in the mirror and i go, "oh, you again. [ laughter ] >> seth: you talk about your, you know, journey as a writer. obviously, you could never have guessed you would sell over 400 million books over the course of your career. >> or 4,000. >> seth: any, yeah any number is a big number
but you go to a bookstore early in your career when you're about to find out you're gonna have your first hit book. >> yeah. >> seth: and a pretty interesting thing happens when you see somebody looking at it >> well, yeah. it was on the "times" best-seller list, but i didn't believe it so i went into the local bookstore. and what'll happen with writers is, if you pick up the book and we're in the store, we're watching you if you put it down, it breaks our heart. i'm not kidding. if you buy it, it makes our day. so i'm watching this woman this is early in my career and she looks at it and she looks at the back, and then she walks down the aisle and i said, "this is the best. i want to go hug this woman," you know she puts it in her bag she stole it [ laughter ] and all i'm going is, "does that count as a sale? >> seth: do you ever introduce yourself to someone? i mean, you must see people reading a james patterson -- >> i did years ago i introduced myself at a swimming pool. this guy was i said, "how are you liking it? he goes, "it's [bleep] [ laughter ] it's terrible, so i don't do it anymore. >> seth: yeah. >> that was the last time.
you learn your lesson when you get hit like that. >> seth: do you get recognized as yourself now? certainly, this cover photo's not going to help. >> no, i know. that's my hope no, just last week, my wife's out of town. i go to this little italian restaurant that we really like and they say, "we'll fit you in." so the waiter takes me down a little aisle this woman pops up this is a true story, tragically and she goes, "i know you. you sold us our insurance policy." this is true and then i go to the -- my table and i'm sitting there, and i get my appetizer, and the guy behind goes, "are you from boston?" and i turn around. he goes, "you're tom clancy. [ laughter ] i go, "no. if i am, we're all in big trouble, 'cause he died nine years ago and it's a horror movie. >> seth: you -- you know, you write -- your books are sort of known for being very gripping, short chapters >> just like this one, gripping. >> seth: it is, though i mean, this reads -
this is so readable, and it has this, you know, momentum within it that you expect from one of your books did you sit down to write it like a thriller? >> you know, it was covid, and i -- you know, we're thinking about life and whatever. and i just said, "let me just start writing down some stories. and i'm always conscious - i always try to pretend there's somebody sitting across from me, i'm telling them a story i don't want them to get up until i'm finished you could get up now to be funny. and that's kind of what -- i mean, that's my deal >> seth: we were talking backstage 'cause i heard you speak at an award show where you were being honored and you talked - >> you sent me the nicest note >> seth: well, you were very funny, and in a room where - >> but that was then >> seth: yeah, that was -- but you also told a beautiful story about your grandfather and the way -- a thing he told you about work >> yeah, well, he used to -- i'm a little kid up in newburgh, new york, and it was a really great thing for me i'm 8, 9, 10 years old he would take me on his delivery route. and he was a great guy and it would go over the
storm king mountain, and he'd be singing. he had a terrible voice. he'd sing all these old songs, "oh! susanna," whatever. and he said, you know, "the secret is," he says, "i hope when you grow up that when you go over the mountain to work in the morning you'll be singing. and i do i hope other people do i don't work for a living. i play for a living. i suspect you do, too. >> seth: i very much feel that way. >> except when you get a bad guest. >> seth: you keep a basket of ideas? >> yeah. >> seth: on your desk. these are ideas for books? >> a very clever thing on the title. it says "ideas." >> seth: and do you just sort of randomly reach in when you feel like it's time >> no, i don't randomly. i'll just start going through them and i'll go, "what about, what about?" and it's partly that i feel excited about the -- sometimes you'll put something away, and two years later, you'll look at it and you go, "i know where it goes now i didn't know where it was going. >> seth: do you still get excited, having written all these books, to see an idea for the first -- and you go, "oh, now i know"? >> yeah, oh, yeah. every day is -- not every day, but a lot of times - you know how out works i mean, just suddenly, yeah, it's clicking. this is working. i can make this work or this
chapter work >> seth: i think it's exciting because you just never know when it's gonna happen again. >> yeah, well, there's that. >> seth: yeah. >> i try not to think about that too much >> seth: yeah, absolutely. >> see, like, with this thing, i signed up with little brown with the autobiography, and i'm writing another one when i'm 90 and another when i'm 110 >> seth: oh, that's very smart get that three-book deal >> and i got the money up front. [ laughter ] >> seth: thank you for being here congrats on the book such a pleasure. james patterson, everybody "james patterson by james patterson" is on sale now. we'll be right back with more "late night. we'll be right back with more "late so we need something ♪ super disctintive. dad's work, meet daughter's playtime. wait 'till you hear this— thankfully, meta portal helps reduce background noise. zero lace model. adjusts to low light. and pans and zooms to keep you in frame. take a look at this. so the whole team stays on track.
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