Skip to main content

tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  March 3, 2016 11:37pm-12:37am MST

11:37 pm
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, [ rs and applause e >imim: my thankskto pharbrll williams, priyanka chopra, jesse fredererk, lorettataynnp cecegaib! [ cheers and appla] and the ots right here from philadphia, pennsylvania, la and gentlemen.
11:38 pm
ay tuneded "late night with seeyerer" thank you for watching. have a gatatatht, and hope to see yououomorrow.& thank yoyosoucuc bybybye.e. [ cheers a a applause ] ,,
11:39 pm
,, .. [ cheersnd a a ause ] announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." night -- ti fey. star of "grandfathed,"ctor jojo stamomo from "saturd night live," comedianay p pro. --aturing the 8g bana&with patrick carney. cheers and applausus] laes a a gentlen, th meyers!
11:40 pm
th meyers, this is "late ninit." how is everybody dng tonightht [ eers and applause ] atats thatats greaeato hear! in that se, let's get the news. former nominee, mitt romney gave a speech today to trto stop donana trururom securingnghe republican nomininion. and in a related story, a japanese soler f f f fis rifle at godzia. [ laughterer that's n n enonoh to stohim.m.mitt romney gave a speecat the university outah this s rning, itical of dona trump. and in isaid trumpmpe promisesre as worthles t t degree@erom trump univererty.. then romney dropped the mic and it brokekeisoe. laughter ] becarson sat oututonigig's 11ththeplicacadebate kind of the first ten. [ laughter ] chchs chstie was askededoday about his vaca e e en n duriri donond trump's super tuesday victorspeech, and told
11:41 pm
her than happy." you are ppy, then my wife was thrilled wn i i rgot her bibibiay. [ lalahter ] [[eers and applaus i'm so sorry. a nestudy shows that theheate e of unintended pregnancies in the s. h h dpped by 18%. the drop is atatibutedw incribly eective contracept [ hter ]noha you. nono i'm ne. i n't t a dri. thanyo thoh. a farm iio has t words " trump" written so lalge in c mamure, t at id uld seen by overhead planes. the aziest part? no o o asked the cow to hat. [ laughter ] evenenows know. [ chchrs a a applause ] x-rated we x-ted website pornhub has
11:42 pm
rn searcterm tbe "lesbian." whwhe ththmost popopar g ggle arch is "how to clear your browowhiory." ikea has a ikea has annoued it's & develod a new packaging material grown fm mushrooms, which could replace styrofm. pus, , if youat theusoooo the ikea dections starto make sse. [ htht oh, yeah, all right. here w w i ne to the flurgen inhe gurgen. [ applause e estimates that during his year in spacac astronaut scott kelly drank k mostst200 gallons of wat ftered fromis o uweat, , ananthn e lala d d, und d l the fiji bottles pbroughwithim la no! this is urine! why? d finall accordi to recent ey 15%5%f f ericics have admitted to cooking ininhe nude.unfortunately,ost t tm wo
11:43 pm
[ cheersrs applaus] ladiesesnd gentlem we have a grt show for yououonht. from the new film "w"wey, ngol foxtrot," g gd iendndti@fey is back on thth& tonig. [ cheers a a applause ] he is s e starf fox's - "g"gndfathered," a netix's's"fler use," " stamos is at thehow tonighgh [ cheersrsnd applause ] and anot and anotr old colleae of mi, one ofhehetars of "snl," japharajis on the show f f the very first time t night. [ chee and applause ] i'm loing forwarartoalkiki to him. but befo we e e to that, ststday, the supreme court heard oral arguments in what could be t eost importanan abortion case in 20 yes. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." [ chchrs a applaus] >> s sh:kay, so the first thing to know is thahathanano roe v. wadomen have a nsnstutional right to abortion in americaca but over the last 20 years, that ririt has been under attacby anti-abortion fofoes, whwhthink k at even if ty can't make
11:44 pm
gegeing one morereifficult. fac sincece v. wa in ates he enacae 1,07ortion restrtitis. these288 or 2 have be enacted just since 201 the only \hing that increased more than orti resesictions in the lfi years a aew emojij andmount you u ar o o rst the gym. nonoan example of o e of thesese $prerictions is a a&a&law ssed in ktuckthis month requing women hava medil coultaon 24 urs fore having an abortionon now w e idea that yohave`to geconsultatiti befe exercising a fundament cotituonmlight sms demeang and sexist to many, inrludinkentucky state lawmwmer, ry lou mziwho respondedeby proposong a aill thatould requien tquote, "have twdoctct visits and prida sign and ded leer from their ouses providing consent before they cocod obtain erectile sfunction druglike viagra." ich is fantastst.
11:45 pm
for viagra? um, actually, i wanted to do somemeeadi this weeeend, so . [ laughter so those kind ofestric haha becommmonplace over t t last five years,ndterday, e e preme urt hear arguments on an anti-abortion law in texas that isretty obviously aimid atatrying to curb access tobortion. >> it requir that abororons take place in ve expensive cilits k k abu al cen lsreques a providits aitti ilest spits. ththend resu itexas is that you ha 5lion wen of reoructitige whoay%ble with onlten ti clics >> set ten clinics for 5.million women. and maming matters worse, thth waiting rooms just hone "us ( weekek" fromomike 198282 beforetars we like us. now texas lalawmakers claim e new rules are just to prprect women'n'health and safety, but they're not. these lawmaks care abobo safety the way o ove garden n cares about portion control, not at all.
11:46 pm
jusce ena k gan pnted out yestery,ere are many procedureshat e much higher risk. colonoscops, lipipustions, we coulgo on and onon and o& course e e ason colonoscscs en't reguled like abortions is thatll men have, and some even n e ass [ bleep ].". [ laughter ] but kakan was joined by the other two female jususces in hammering away at tes' argrmenthat teteis d i is for the benit o owomen. justicicsonisotototor pod out t at one of the due burdens the ilaw this. currently, for a nonsurgical ortion, womamacan ta two prescribed pills at home.. t the@l s snds, she has to tvel miles s pay foror hoteteto those t t days of treqtment. driving 200 miles to do something you cado at homeme imagine ththoutre if you told men they had to go to albany to masturbate? and meet with coselor 24 hours ahead of titi. o are you goint/ fantasize
11:47 pm
in t end, it was justici ruth bader ginsburg who, when the lawyers reprprting texas contntued to claim tha regulations re @ @-womem's healal, cuto t chasesend & pointed out that, quote,e,a womamahas the fufuamental right to make this choice forsf, ! butufor now, the choice e in nds of jususce anthony kenned" " o o t t sing votetethts case. a four-fr r te mean the texas law statds and women in texa wi continue to face hules to get health care, which isn't right. it shohldn't be harder f wen a aess health care thanano accessssuptown funk." this has bee"a closer look." chchrs and applause e we'll be righthtack with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] so my kids don't have to forag got twbs ty a mortgage, and i've also got brain. life's short, talk is s eap.p. i'll be working while you slp. still don't thin i've got a brain? you think a reme's enough?
11:48 pm
don't you want t ndf brain? a degrees a degrgr.. yoyoreonnanaant someone like me. buonly if yohave a brain. shop kohl'l'.. iday n nht os saturd bds..fothe nesonomo goods for life colleleion... save 50 to on evevyday apl fohim d dfofor... d % for e ds save o onomamw ur homomomo. plus g kohl's ca. hl if you tated your car... like greasast od treatsour body... y,teve. hey!y! d have twalkryer noo to grefast f.. treat yo body righgh..
11:49 pm
de with our new, hand-pulled, all-white meathicken ra without antntioti... all on our freshlylyaked bread.. the su sandwich shopo frfrh h w wt we do.o. is a youtube sentiononon supeomom! super woman. superwoman! unicorn island i that state reach w(en i iecide, evything'sgoing to be okay, and i'm hahay. unicicn! i'm gogog to tata y all, on bririri unicorn isla!! deee m mnsentnrlrst antirspipipi wi uniqumicrapsu actited byov that releaseursts of freshness l day. tionnse. prection to oeep y mmving.
11:50 pm
(vouan check on them. you can worry abt them. you can en cose a car for thth (mom)nhoney, are you ok? hildi'm . (annncero) lov (m) we're o#.
11:51 pm
[ chchrsrsnd applause ] >> s sh: seth: welcome bk tolate night"veryrydy. please give e@ up r the 8g band over there. [ chchrs and alause ] also, he's been sitting in all week on drum frothe black keys, patrcarney is with us. cheersrsnd appppuse e it@h been an honor, patrick. please come back anytime. now, do you guysnow what a casserole is? casserole is a meal whwhe you throw a bunch h different kinds of foods in a dish and you sort & of c ck ititp. pand d at you get is shat you get. ththreason iring this up is we here at ate nighgh, we come up wi tons of different ideas all the e me for the show.
11:52 pm
full meal, if yoyowiill.. so insteadf juisisrdg e i eawe thought we'd throrothem togogher,assesele stylylin a segmentnte call "late night cassole." [ applause ] >> s sh: all right, t t , oe of oururrirs thouoht instead of showing cebries caugug witut theirake e , it would be fun to show celebrities ught with their make ament cleverly titled, "cebritiesesaught with the make up." okay, , chchk out tht firs lebrbr looos like we caught thihi hollywood star wearing make up.. uh-oh. [ lilit laughterer that w celebrities caught with their make up. [ plause ] not enough for a fululsket, t a a ne, a fine piece of writin[ light [ lighlalahter ]
11:53 pm
great. well, ydar is when an pindividual is able to look at person and know if tarargay - n. so, here's the pmise, what if american supupme couou j jticece ruth bader ginsburg had really od gaydar? . ll, then you'dave e e popunew ate nini aracr, ruth gaar ginsb [ uger gay. [ l)ght ughtht ] n gay? not gay. [ light laughter ] gay. gay, gay gay, g, gay. [ light laughter ] all right. there'thinth ers somethg ther that migig be better than casserole. applse ] all righ pyou u yseardf the word a day calendar who's got one? grt. okay. [ light laug ] oe ofofy writers comes toe and says what uld it be like
11:54 pm
it's's calendar`wherinstead of learningew words you get to learn new w unds. [ lit lalahter ]let's s `eook or ratatr a listen. [ glass shattete ] that's shattering glass. les try another one. [ thump ] th was a tub of potato salad hitting g e floooo [ light ughtht ] see whatp xt. [ creak ] moo ] u goit, a treealng on to cow. [ lalahter ] you owowhat? we don't havavavme f f t ts. les rip throh a bunch ofof them. [ motor revvin [ hoho [ pop ] cartoon boing ] [ cartoon twang ] [ cartoon uncece wh arerehese? they're alall e same. [ cartoon spring ] ryell made. arp is [ rtoon buzz ] [ cartoon streteh e splat ] [ cartoowhiplash ] all right, that't't'y too many of these.. [ creak k
11:55 pm
weeard t tt one. pall right, let'st dodo re. [ wailing ] th's t t souou of amerans onon thday of tmp's iuration. [ chrsnd appppppuse ] thth's o that's one- arereakinina - etet good casserole here you & guys been paying attention to the debates? grt. real q qckckcust becauau i 't fl like it.hohomanynyyou had a word a day cacandar? grgrt. okay. . [ light ughter ] you were watching the presential debates, what pppps before eryry presidential debate thth candidates, theyet a tour of thstag@. it's explalaed to thememow the nidides are gngo work. and they often show -- t networks often show that fooge without the sound. ou c c't hear what te acacally saying. - wewe our writers are t t best` writers. [ light laughter ] ve dubbed over the clips with ththdiog theimage e being said. let's take a look. pwe'll start with john kasich. >> now, governor this is your podium. you'll be ststding behind it. there will be peop oveth
11:56 pm
auaience.. also theeople to your ft. my left and yourureft. and then y'l'l'llk to o ose pele d pele during the debates other candidates will talk to people ririheebate. yeah, ey're theenr. >> didou telelm about the center? [ lauger ] [ cheers and applausus] >>eth: that's go. you knkn what? that's so good, let's ke a lookt e with jeb bush. >> o oy, g gerno shat we have her-- what?t' p>> i i iis wer down here? lalglger ] ] lo water water ny. >e too.>> eryry d dnks s evody kskskser[ lit laere^ >> that's true. th'sru >>houluse that as a ke inhe d i in m m k kl. uh,h,r, i'm n n sure
11:57 pm
ryic goeghghintoheerere. l ght. idea.i oteso eatototo nae r "late ninierolol ahat will be abunntlyar wn you see ounext and final pie e of@w@wtete nner o'my,e'big fan n charlie rosos b fan. favoriteteart is the theme song of charl rosos hehe he is, connor o'malaly ing interpretive dance to the theme muc om charlie rose. ght laughter
11:58 pm
[ cheers and appuse >> that is a delicious ca we'll l r rht back with more "l"le ninini"
11:59 pm
becauscovering heals faster. to seal out water, dirt and germs, cococowith0a wat blblk clear bandade omand-aid bran aha clasc case of who nnit? luluilyl jay c trident t't'elp ean and prechiteeth, e n claim innocenc with a convincing gr. that's it jay, they'll neveknowow trident.t.herishour rfeth. alright, what doyou think bo? we couououo tacos. we coulu do some thai. o... how ' 'uthi, eh? [weird dog moan/squeakak y not?t?[d[dawning/sququkingng no, we're not, we're not having rbue... again. [quiet dogroanan y? beceuse re on fo legs, andndi'm on t t... and i'm dring. that's why. [dog whine]
12:00 am
when l l m ndg lsononononor y alele t t second room is ready,ya kw wh hcomet proposalallet't't' moreer g eat. hoabououover tens? even b bter. a a chang! the ready fou alerer only at lq.c.c. hey, need fafaeartburnrnrelief?? try cool mint zantac. iteleases a cooling sensatn in your mouth d roatat zantac wks sas lite as 30 nutes. xium can take 24 houou. try cool mt zantac. no pl relieves heartburn faster. getting unlimited d ta f ur famililis a struggle. otheheherrrs either don't r it,
12:01 am
not-mobile! trinthe best data plan ever! get three lines of unlimite$e4g lteata for justststucksksh, t a fourur le, free! yup!-we'll ve youou fououou line at no extraraosos so tell those otr guys you're dodo wororing g out data. get threnes of unlimimed data forucks each, andnd fourtne on us.
12:02 am
[ chchrs and a alause ] >> seth: w >> seth: welcome b bk to "late night" everybody. our first guest tonight ha earned e eht emmys, the goldld globes. and is a recipient of mark twain ize for american humor.. she's starinas a war time journalist in her latest "whisksk tangotrot" which opens in theres friday. let's take look. i ask a favor, ki ablutely feel freeo y no.>> yeah, sure. >> hate to even b2ininin u rudedeven n ng thihi >> no, it's fine. >> c c have sex witiour sesurity guy? >> oh, by all mean don't y it just to be polite. >> iould i i n. even nick? >> no, t tt would d ver r ppep. so y y'r'r'rod. >>yocan have nk. can n just say, yore a a aious
12:03 am
>> thank you, ohohthat's nice. because you're what?? u are like seven, six, seven in new york?>> yeaea&&>> you're a bine, erline >> what are you herer like a 15? >> yeah. >> huh. seth: please welcomback to e show, gooiendnd tiey evebody! eers and applause ] h: >> seth:h:owowre you? >> i'm good, how are you? >> seth: so great to see you. >>ice see y.. >> seth: it was nice see you at the oscars. stevcarell got to o ent. >> yh. >> sh: h h was your oscara evening? >> it s etty good, you know. it wasxcitininlike, adam mckck -- seth: fmer head wririr of "snl." >> the former headadriter of " an osc. seth: y >> wre ptty re tt' thrsrserl"lum oscar, t, wthink. >>eth: guess thas right,
12:04 am
nt to be like sam smith and go out on a limb hehe a a be wrong. lauger ] >> seth: so ll s smith - - >an a aroydyd ia twitter r with m but yeah, i fe like there have been nominees bere but so that's's'sttcool. >> sh: yeah, it's nice, especially nice because when you ththk of thehe- adam had, i know yoyoovovlapped with him. >v yea adam m mmy job. >> seth: really? bualthe sameheches. people who are wking therereow aron theheame couches s s a oscar r nnenorked .& >> yea h:ausehey don'tu ththe cohes over. underererseocches a prob an n car wier's boogers. [ laughter >eth:h:n yoso, was sag awawayou and any go prent?t? carol burnetetet >> yeah, a a a and i gototgi lifetime achievement awap carol burnett which a super bg g al and iwas s teresting becacae we realized, partly y alaled that anyone uerer 35 was like oh, that's nic anthth everyone 35 and u u us s like oh, mgosh. we were like inow. and it was like e e a deal.. and thankfullylyy b#dy wldn' let me procoss what huge deal s untitii got back to the
12:05 am
go, , rol burnrnt.[ laughterug i was like alo in my hotel room having a freak out out it. it was pretty co. >>eth: pe atatheecurury calllllmp,p,hey' like peopop on both sisis of yr hotel arar sa there's a wom sayg carol rnett. >> there's a aomananrying alonon aboucarol lprnett. et so congrats on the moe.e. >> thank you.. sh: sis, this is icago tribune r portrt? there's a woman named kim barker who wrote book called theliban shuffle" abouououing a print jourlist . in afghanistan a pakaktan.( d there was s ew of the bogo inhehenew w&rk times"pwherer mimio kakuta sd, oh, kim writerlflfike tina&fey characte and d d i iasike, )'m g gng to r rd that book. [ laughter ] >> seth: you basical skim all pbook revieie..& >> yeah, a when it doesn'n say anything abobo me, i d't r rd. light laughter ] the book was rlly funny and amatic and so, yeah, we took it to lorne d totoaramountnd thth let us make movieutf it. >> seth: tt's fantastic, and you shot in new mexico for afghanantan? >> yes.
12:06 am
mexi. i speneha lot of time there. how was yoyoime? didiyou enjoy w meme >> i iovovnew w w co. we were half theime in santa fe,@half the fime e buquerque. santa fe is gorgeous. it's like mountains s d these restaurants are amazing. and evererne that lives there,e, itooksksike the whole place is just like women n o were once married to don henley.y. [ [ t laughter ] these like g ggeous li 58 y ar old blon d bl women and like thk squash blossom necklaces. >> seth: feel like every othth orfrfrt is like a gaery.y. a georgia o'keeffe e lllly. so many galleries. i i riouy loveveit >> seth:here's a - 4> 10,0000ways. seth: 10,0000was pgogogototosk if at wasaspa y y wento. i we t t. ife tookthererfor my birtrtay. w w s your 10,000 0 time? >> it was great. >>eth: is a beautiful a. >> it's a beautiful a. and you caget like your friends can gelike your own private e t tub. it's le in the mountains, all he littleleoors andararns and different places and so i wewewehere w wh a bunch of my friends. we we working on the movie a it was very owded.
12:07 am
ad i was going back into thth laes locker room and there was a a uple getting aou&d they srtrt inldydy locr verconfusing way and w w like, oh i'm soorry, this is actually the lady's eroo and th theheart of the cou that i thought was the geneman lookt me and said "i got [ [ p " >> seth: okay. [ laugug ] at's a rghghhihio hear. >> yh. i wawalike, it was a gray buzz pcut,asketball shor. ike it waan honest mie. t i fefe so o d.& that t t ti oceeded to deeply over comomomate. >>,seth: ono. [ [ ughtht ] >> and ti like oh nonono d i'i'sosoorry. i ke trying toikengage th thihicouple whoeren't interestst i italking to they werlike tryryg tofigure e ouou they were like, howowo we these lockers? d i like wyou i you juju hto set i i z zo. and th were ebke, all right. they were right t xt t in the locker@r@rm. i'm not ejudice in thahaway at
12:08 am
hohost mistake. thenen fouyself taking@off my bathing suiuiat them. [ ughter ] yoyoys f fm m ou herer i just was like whenenould y y ever m- - u are in a locker omom. turn around, youre takinur bathing suit off. but i i w wted d em to lili me sd. [ lauger ] ] seth: t tt's still you thk to make people like you. >> i know d nev woror. -laughger ] >> set you nfed havepbettttself-eeem. you've a aomplhed so much. it'sot aboutust king you bathg suit off in onof ople. them. laughter ] t if@fhey y e this ain i'm s sry. >> seth: we were talng backstage. your kids now, your daughters ae 1010nd four. >> yea>> s sh: i abouto have my rst. >> congratulationsns >>eth: tnk y so much.h - [ chrs ] you re yowere saying -- - i'm saying i c't wt t s s ur moviend yoy tolmehat m never gog g see it nono-- >> the next viviyou see is going to be "kung fu panda 4." [ laughter ] you're never see it. >> seth: nev going to see @anototr adult movie e er a ain. but 10nd f fr, a a those f ?0 >> very sweeery sweet. they a a a nice distance apa.
12:09 am
ananthe littnes s tting to that- fo is a veryryweetvery afctiona. when i go leave to go to work in the morning they're like no, nt one more, o oororkiss and onmore hug. she'll c c c m mto the door. anthen i'm going dn thth evator and your her goinin like, love y/ i love you so much >> seth: a. >> and my hud go w wrerche goes iovovyou, lovovyou mumu.. and it's just lili so, so vely. thth the other day, i ard her saying it to her poogoing down the toilet. [ laughter ] litetellthe same e ict line. e go, bye, p/ppy, i love you, i love you souch. lahter ] fairh.h. [ light laughter ] fairnough. >> seth:h:our husband ffichmanana fantnttic sician >es. >> seth: a the kids musically inclined?- >> i t tnk thehearar 0rtainlnlmore than i am. i ink k eyeyave e lile bit of his skills. ey plalasome insnsumts already. >>eth: youe soat musical.l. >> >'m okay. we did a aenefef recently. pwe did this benefit r ol center where we t bunchcof "snl" people and thehesomeme singers to sing this thing. we are all rehearsing, singing
12:10 am
d i i d toing g the-part hony ing with kate mckinnonanancely strononwho o e good singers. wawapracticing at t one day.anani wawalili o.d 1010ear-d wawalihwhware e yoyoyorkinon? i said, oh, i'm singing the high part. so you know i have to prtice a lot. ananshst like deadeyeylooked at me and she godo y yhinkpthat's a aood idea [ laughtht ] for you to have thhi part?should you have e high part? i walike, alright,t,addy's ttle gl get out of my face. >> set like that your 1010ear-old is cutting and the 4-year-old is juikfriendly to poop. friendly to poop. [ light lauger ] >> seth: very far art. hi i'm doing a aat b. [ [ ght laughger ] >> seth: s swe were talklklk ckstsvsvababt allenge coins. i want you to plain this to me >eah, s ! ! coooo because in this momoe,e,e got tomeet aot of f t aiaiforc eopop. and soso peoe o we really air forc r force peoplele think we drdrs like marinesesn the movie. they have this thihi called alalnge coin which is officererin the military, if t ty wawa to give a thank you to someone below them they give them these coins of eir r nk. and so these guys when they go &&out, ithey go`out to a bar, at the e d of theheeek or whatever. people pull out their challenge
12:11 am
whver had the hight t nking chlenge coin drinks fofofree. >>etet andndo it's not their rara. somemedyadado git t he >htsobodydyadhand i. sof you a genene you cangi iomebodne and thth ty y n n n ike havea general,l,hat t ot? and so wtried to get se asas thank you to the people that helpeds with t t movov. we god se and apparent i think k e highest ranking you n ge i thinks actual first lady asked some pridential es, whihh isikthe second ghest. they smemenenewell. got e fofothe e y o heheed us but then i go one so i haha ididtial coi i won a free ink. set that's s eat and that onthth [ ^a^ahter >> right, m going to definitely always be lik does it work for nachos? laughter ] what aut mini pizzas but i s thininng, we should make these for c cedy.y. we shoulha comedy challenge cos. >> sh: so the highest ra cdi?>> yeah, you're in the bar and you'ree.
12:12 am
lilit laughter ] iave a 1960 bill cosby. [ [ ughtht ] [ plse ] >> >eth: t ts a ry high one. well tnk you so much for b bng here. >> thank you for having me. >>eth: 9 will buy a drin anytime. >>ou te that, you u u k frfr. >> seth: i'm going to buy you a drinkn you are sanghat because i drinmore than you. lighughtht ] givevet upor tina fey, everybody.y. [ eersrsnd applause ] "whiskeyan foxtrotis i theaes friri we'l'lblht bk with john stamomo 3douch on hone 6reondsto t t pssurof y yr r nger. so you can do a d`n of stuff in a lot less time. like looat a ae withouougog tot. or watch a vid wiout openit. you can do pretty much everything faster. shooting stuff. sic stuff. uch shoppipi. shoe shoppg. running. kind of. checking a flight om a aemail. i'm peeking my flilit. i'm not eking my flight. i'm eking my.wait,i missed my fligig. owphphos.
12:13 am
a hi-steteing man. pizza gifs. it's all faster with 3d totc iphone 6s squirerere ateer may i h you, my lord? umm.... llllave a reddgd applelele.and perhs wrench. no. a wrench a wrench. redd'spple a also in strawberry and green apple. huh. i troducing centrum vitamints. a new mumuivitamin you eneny like a minin.. withth full spectrf new cerum tamis. get 30% off every guest
12:14 am
but hurry, this s fen't last lon come s sk the royal caribbean book tod at 1-800-rolcibbean. my house mymyouse, too!my bed, my squququ toy.... myoodnesis thatsmokymeatysty- bacon?n you like bacon? i do backflips for bacac i make b blines for bacoi'i'gonna beat you to bacon! (vo) what mas dogs do the crazy thingshey do? beggin' because, bacon! (phone vibrates) yeahgottttcoco sir.( yoyoananananreapsclionssssa, what's the news? here's t news.lec baldwin and jan hwartzman were seen moinparazzi. bawin threq shoeoeat photographehe... i i d d aga. s, you c't'take tuff up.four bandits chosese priuss ththr ger. bravo-niner,n pursuit of totota pus. over. how hard i iit to cacah a prs? ov. is tng is actuallylyprettyastv over.r. very funny. oh look, a aarmemes mamaet. we s suld get so flowersrsr the car. yeah!
12:15 am
12:16 am
12:17 am
[ cheers and applaus]h:h: >>eth: welco back, ery. ue is s s s s y reprisininhirole a a acle e e jejee,n nenenex's s s lelele " u soso him ie new sees "grandfathered" every esday on fox. les take a look. >>immy. >> hi. just came to tell you that i borrowed 20 bucks from ravi and i have no ion nf ever payingim bk. catherine, yougue amazing. and i realal le you. know i was an idio and i'll tell you if you were anyonee, i wou he moved on b bnow but i n'nto and i don't thk u wawao th >> everything okay? or is thisen doll giving you a prlem.&
12:18 am
seth:>> sh: wa dedeght to see you.u. a rigig! chrs a a applause ] seth:h:h:ays so nicto s you. >ey. >> seth: this is gooow. nono >> seth, let me start bybyaying g yoyore wonderful. seth: oh, well thank you, john you're wonderful too. >> and you're handsome. >> seth: thank youou >> a a you're t. seth: kw. >nd i j jt love watching yo >eth:h:ou know, i feeee-- hold me seth: some days feel handndme. >> yeah. >> seth: and then other days & john stamos meseout and i feel like theottom ofothe shoe. i gottttbe ht. lalahter ] 'c'cse if wewere talking hahasome, youorerehedeal... >> tk to set abouthat. eteah. [ htht oh, he doesn tnk youe handsome, bob? >> no, hdoes. seth: hdoesn't. all right. well, now i s s - you, in this s sw, plaa 50-year-olgrananather. >> yeah. >> seth: now obviously in al fe, yoyore agi backwardsdswe n all l e that. [ laught ] but wh was your rereti when u iririth thideaf showowallendfath" e e e andfather?r? it stard out is a -- we talked about doing a showhwh a bachelor, sortf a george clooney type befo he, you know, sold all that ououd pgot maieie [ lalahter ] rtf like aher k o guy who fis ouhe has a sononananthen we e dededeatson
12:19 am
>>ethmm. >> s and they id what you ----e tried everertitle.e. and they said, "what do you think of 'grandfathered?'" i said, "what do you think o [ bleep ] you. no.>> seth:ight. [ laughter ] yeah, you can't t that. but 's fine. yoyoca -- - all know it a part. it'sust t part. > what woululyou -- what would you titlelit? you'ren impr guy. come on, setet me on,aby.y. >> seth: "o"bachelor!" >> yeah! >> set yh. >> o.b. seth: o.b.. >> o.d.b. 8 seth: the originanao.b. >> yeah. >> seth:eaea there you go. >> ol' dirty bachelor. [ laughter ] et ol' dir bachelor is not d. >eah. nod rit. >>eth: there you go. all r)ght, now we got .. >> o.d.b.. >> seth:s latethouou. you can't change the title now so ianna- and also wor wihbaby on the shois inin rigig >>hat's right. >> s sh:'ve do tha re( ve donononin tng. >> i made a a t tns vy wea long t tago. >eth: yeah. [ laugher ] >> and we' gonna do again. >> seth: hopthese young are smart enough t tkn atou'rthgravy n for twins who wantnto ma cash. i me em sign a a@al that t if we ever do o reunn of "grandfaereded20 yrsatat, they havto be on it. [ laughter ] >> seth:kay. that's good.d. cheers and appppuse ]that's the way to t.& so, i want ttalklkboututfuerhous" ngtutions. thank you. >>eth: already picked up for
12:20 am
>>8z, thk you. s sh: d -- what made you decide, t t you, but erybody. likehat --i i s you rsononly to goack k it again? >> i felt enouou time went by. and d wawa-- i spent lotf f tithe e eatre ouhere. roud of, y yno a good eatre care. eth: mm-hmm. > meaea leaving the show, d , but i felt liki ally nd to dsomething othehehean, you know, sasa "have pmercrc and whaever rhat s out. so i did "er" foyes y know, and i nallfelt, , ka i' done ough sff. it's t te to go back to o ."." >> seth: had you -- when was the last time yowatched it before you went back to i i ner. >> seth: really? did you watch it wheit aired? >>o,e did -- y know, about six, seven yea ago jeff f fn, the oririnal l crtor, and myself weot together andd let's dodo spinoff.ybody waou@k@kw, somemeing th the shoho- so, i wahed the lo was prettnny. you >> set yeah. i'm adoued it. [ laer ] >> it was g od, yeah.. that'sbout i and we thohoht it was funny y 'cause theaby was,ounow, messeder diape. you'll have th. when's yr -- when e you due? >> set`toon. like tonths. >> can your baby act?
12:21 am
>> seth:e n'know yet. have you checkcd itit [ laughter ] >> s sh: we triewithhe sogr, i i i yell out characters. rightnd she d ds them yeyeye >et and it haha't anyny yet. >> nothing. oh, ye. >> s sh: j ja mp. is s ododsend h h o wewel make heronon. >>h: okay. - anyou so mucuo >> thankou. >> seth: nowhe show, alwlws lod. obviously succsful, hugely succ. e "full us" mamae safe to sayever been n critical darling. >> what's the opopsite of rling? [ [ ughter ] >> seth:kay.y. no bring this up bausu we e were talking bk stage "fuller housus" and again, a success, rewed for ather season >> right. >eth: theheave beenome` me reviews. >> i iwas funny. en it first cameut -- and i was nervous about doing this agbecause, you k kw, it's soso beloved you saynd i didn't wanndisappoint people. i thohoht it turn o welel ana ople seemed to likit. and i read a couple nice review but thenhereerthese -- and i have nothinggast reewers. th've gin t r%vis. "grandfathered you know,ot love letters. but ththe e reo rt of acky. and th're re. we were talking ababt them. did you -- >> sh: yeah,eah.we he here -- i want you to be able to look at em as wellll >> all right. >> set 'causthese are actual -- >> i'm not grandfather. [ laughter seth: do u want -- the ollywood reporr."" you wananmeread it? yeah.
12:22 am
>> setet "hollywood report" id, "is doubtful that there wille a more painful 26 tv episode than the 'fullll house' pilot. auauence boos s >> iean, h hwas watcng -- hewawabeing maulededy a bear whe he wat that. sh: yhas s s "the rerenant." >> seth: and then he wasying it to that. >>ight. >> seth: yeah. >> you'll lo episodewo, daniel. [ lauger ] ] >> seth: r rht. the pilot -- >> of f ur --- >>eth: i mean if the pots painl i just said enengh >> yeah.h. i mean i i ithe pilot. i mean, how [ bleep rude, righ la ] ] >> sh: yh, that's real rude.. "wasasn post" id's poininwhere -- >> givivthe guy's name the way. you'reissing the nam seth:ll right, hatuever. oka [ laughter ] seth: iope m sayinghat righghank. >> d dsn't mr. [ laughter >>eth: "there's point where nostalgia bebememore like @ necrhiliand 'fuller hous imately crossesethat l le."& [ auauan o o that's p py good, ght? >> you got -- raisyour hand. do you know what nececphilia is? [ laught ] do we have to e plit to them? >> sh: it means you have sex wi a dead body. [ laughter ] >> i mean, hi meat's what imeanan- like -- seth: he wrthat aut kid's . this is s family show. >> icrophilia if y y get
12:23 am
happed>> ohl come on..$pthatat easascomped to -- th's a baby, to having sex th dead co.. 4he "a. club"as thou the "v. cb?" what dididheheheyo >> she "a.v. cluas ce.f.& >> yeah. >> set joshua al sai "netflix's 'fuller housese likeke pororparody whe pornrn uguger ] >ha tt? i meanhat >> setet it's a nice turn of t t t phrase. >> no, it's not nice. there actuallythere's a real po- i shldn't sathis. >> seth:s ere?? there a rerl porn thajuju came outut 's c cled -- [ whispers ] p>> setet"fof holes?" >> hey, woah! p[ laughter ] hand totood. and itit really y ryfi he catch phrases >> seth:eaea >> i think the's a l of -- >> setell, l lk ifou're watching a p pn parodyou want the offull h h." >> i bin watchedt. [ laugug >> sh: yeah. >ou know how yore supposed to binge watch theke things. >> seth: yea "new yorortimes." >> w(at's the guame? >>eth: james pononwozik. >> okay. seth: "the series begins as a a
12:24 am
ititomes self-consou date and maudl remindedede inevitable demise." [ lauger ] >> wou you -- li - - >> seth: it's really, look, he lik it.hehee .ughter ] >> okay,ood. >> seth: that one, thas a -- of tse, he liked it e most. ja it's "fulr hous" .@t "room" for god sakes. but thosare --hoseld be @ikeyou wod ite those as a those they a rpeople.@ nyououw whatthe fans loved thisishow. and after five day it wawa releed onlfour, five days ago. netftjx said l l's do second >> seth: that's great. >> so i ank e ns forhat. >> seth: whe is -- speaking of the fans. [ eers a applause speami o ofafa where is the ie p you have run intoa " ull house"anann cacaer? >> there he , on the drums, right erer [ lauger ] >> seth:h:ust day? >> yep. >> seth: great. >> patrick, tell the sto. one day they were doing a new album and he was doing an inteiew, he was walking out, anthey said, "what's new o e nenealbum?" and d sai "john stamos s playg drums. and ey b bieved him. and d at went that i was aying for the ack keys... >> seth: wowow right.
12:25 am
you play. [lauguger ] >> n n i doubt it. i dodot it. >eth: well, congratulations onverything. >> thank you. sh: conatulns o ntins sh ar neow a. aays so lely toto you. >> thank y. >> s s sow give itfor r hntamos, everybodydy [ cheers andpplause ] new epepes of "grandfathered" - r tutudanights on fox anan ulr r house" is strein nelix w. wel be righthtack withth japharoah. chee and appuse [burke] at farmers, we've seen alalst e erythg, we know h h to cover almost ytng. even "turkey jerks." [turkey]y]ob [butcher] i'm [butcher] i'm sorry!y!y! ) vered march ur4. talk ti farmers. we've see almost everyrying, we know how tcover almost anything
12:26 am
degreeotionsense.the worls first antiperspira withniququmicrocapsuless acvad by mt, thttea b bsts frhnesal motiti protection to keep y moving.g. . it w w't let you down. we got another one. i haven orc-o-gram for an "owen."." that me. you should hire sty drewew she wtstso change the world thou. she can program jet engnges totoalk anabsuch heriggest weakness shehecares tomuch. thank you. friend really wants a job at ge. mine too. i'm a wise elfrom a far off shire. andndanjay patel w you shouou hire. thank you. riously though, stacy went to a great school and she's really loyal.. u shldive her r r .
12:27 am
a t tack doeoe't ce if you're orf you're y yng or d.d. nonoatr whohyoarar hehet a`tackckan hapn wiout warning. ififou'vhahaa het t t ck, r aspiriregimen can help prevent another one. be sure to talk to yr doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. yer pirin. shop k kl's... fray night owlwland saturday early b... for the new so goo folifeolleion... ve 50 toto0% on everyday@ apparel for r m and for he.. d 40for the ki. save en sosoma for your he too.
12:28 am
shopping a asuv?well, this ys thtime. and yourord dealer isthe e ace, to g 0%0finaing for 60 monohs o oford suv. that's right. j jt t nounce fordrdlorer...edge...escape... and expedionon. are avavlable wiwi 0financing for 60 montns. ford suvs. designed to help you be unstoppable. no wonder ford is america's best seg brbrd. t hurrrr 0% financing for months on ford suvs is a limid time offer.
12:29 am
12:30 am
,,,,,,,,,,,, [chrs a a applause ] >> seth: welcocoack to e ght,t,everybody. pyou kn our next t est form his rk aa cast member on "saturday ght live." "snl" returns live t ts week with host, jonah hill, and musil guest, fure. please welcome to thshow, my &
12:31 am
[ re andndpplalae ] >> seth: sh: such a pleasure, my friend& @ yes, sir. how you doing today? >> set nowowowu'reighthtown the e ll. and it's always niceo you. i want to give you c cdit 'cause of a the political stuff ts ar, ththe's s en a lot f on the show. yoen carson,xceptional. >> thank you so mumu. [ cheers and appppuse ] >>etetetow i've evend even reatoy, bause he sort of spe his cpapan,n,ead somemee saya tesesthininabout t s campmpgn was y pharh impressionon[ ughter ] ameme >>eth:h: you givivuv u- caca you ve ua li fel en carso wna know whwhny thseotn an preseson.. 's jususme being the creepiest thing i can think [ laughter ] becacacahe j jt -- >> seth:h:here it is. [ laughter ] re you readydyor this check pupup i'm li, ooh. [ lalahter ] just nasty -you know? i would not want t t tt a prostaxam by that man. >>eth: no, i don't t j so. you -- but, of course, there a e also politicicic y y imrsonane. the e esidarack oba, that you gog a chance to meeee >> yes, sir.r th's right.
12:32 am
the's a phot you did a a p p th the first la. >> yes. yes.s. >> seth:h:nd dhis is y y i ithth office.. and th is ththakt jay y aroah outftf i'v% ever seen on n n [ laughter ve knono yououixixears, , , 4 i've nevereen n we -- >> i would never wear that voluluarily. >> seth: yeah. >> like >> seth: that's like y going under cover me. [ lahter ] >> it's likekeerirj.rewish. you knkn? >> set it's very j. crish, yeah. >>eah.>>eth: n do u -- was it, i me, obously you met them before. mhm seth:owt is wheyou et meone like him that y u impersate? >> you know, youout hopepehat yoyodosathe e ong thing use u knowowhat he has snipers d dodot want to ken out. sh:h:ht yeah. yowould ve treblto crosthe line for him to have a sniper ta[e yoyoout. p>> yh. but you know anytime y see like membersrsf thseet service wi, like, mamaine guns you see em, like, playing words wi fridsyou're lik "wt'happening here?" [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. th's not right. p>> you don't wanna tick that person off. set you don't w wna tick thatatson off. ^ did n. but barack loves it, m. he lovov it. hees i
12:33 am
[ lauger ] i i tutulyike what you do. but i beeve you're playie a littlt strtrght. [ laughter ] i likekeo have f. turn up, bitch." i wawake, "whoa!" [ laughterndndpplause ] great. so dope. >> seth: now, , you know, at t the "snl" $ th the were pobviouslsla bunch of cast members the, a ach o ex-hosos. yh. >> seth: a i'm'mhinknkg fo the ople le you, you kw, the naarvey's, who do imesons, there were lot of people tre that you'd do ov the years.. anyou ran intotoome people y did. i knowow saw jay z, talking to jay z. hokois -- ise a fan. he -- when jaz me at thter part t0th he was , hat up fakak jay y y lalalaer ]i was , , ey. whqh's up,a?" and i like, , ancan get a picte?$$ he w like, "haa,o. no." lauger ] >> seth: no o ctur "no, because, y kw, don't want la lot ofeoplpl , comingp toe. you knkn? i i st f fl like, yowe all, wehavin' a good time. yeah." >> seth: the you go. [ laughter ] >> i was like, "gr"
12:34 am
ede murphy? that was m mt excited -- >> oh, m mgosh. >> seth:h:he most exted i was see a a ady. >> that was so surreal forore cauae yoyoall know that t eddie nuhy imy idol. you know t tt,t,ht?< >> seth: yeaea allnow w at... ifallyook to hi yeah, righ >>8seth: i introd yo at. yeaealahter ] was so cooo. actually, lolos c. brought me over to him. d louis was like -- he lili, "you wan meet t ?" i was`likeke"se." he takes me er there and edede murphy was l le,e,oh, yeahah i ow exactly who youre. yeah, exactl" laughter ] heaid, " it's sosothinabyour willlsmith impression. your will smh isismazing. . [ laughter ]( like, i lolo it." - [ eers applause ] anen and then -- and like, i didi't know w wt say. i s like, "oh,y d, don kn what to s." like he rued m mim a minican woman. >> sh:(h, >> likekhe tned domican. i was like, "oh, my d, . rphy, i veou. i can't belie this, papi. o, my god, , lo you" -- [ lahter he w like, "yeah, it's a little weird. i'm ing get a drink. alright." >> seth: now, did you watch e ca d you y thcars? >> iidid >> seth:ou did. >> i thought chris rk did a very goojob.
12:35 am
yeah, yeah.definitete. [ cheers and applause >> seth: great job. >eah. >> set :antastic. >> we e allylala - -weididid five. but, you know, chris, i love chris but just theittle rmrmd sebastian handthe has just you knono-- [ as chris r/r] ndera sese unde sea pcrarar [ ug i'm like, wow. but - -thank k u. thank you. he did it, y know, i feel like he areat job with all the &&prsure thaouounoe had. like, i said this s a terview before, i was like, eople are going to g g mad ay." p>> sh: absolututy. "soayhaerou wanna say." >> seth: say what you wa. now this i'm'merexcited abt beuse heard you haveba new si that you're gonnable to do the shohoho theygrgonna give it to somebody bucaca, we're ing abou oscaca, ist true you've goa dicaprio? >> i do ha a onardo dicaprio. >> ;eth: okay. all right. yes. set so is is -- this would be somhiouououldo - adio. >> yeah, yh. >> seth: yeah. >> wait,t,'t make meaugh. [ laughter he goes, "yeah, well, itit beeee
12:36 am
i nally won and, is hello from the o oer sidid" i don'ow i feee like i need work but you knkn, if icreen -- [ applause ] itwait, wait i fefe like he's, like, "y"y knowi shouldave n this like a a lg time ago. i meani didn't, you know, but, you k ow, now that i w it, you know, everyby ca -- i don't knowo [ laughtht ] >>eth: allhtht >> don'tnow whato @>> seth: it's gettg ere. >> it's tting there. >> s s it's g%ttininthere. ananyou've pley, so yoyodon't pneed it. >> so many. >> s sh: tha you so much. alalys so greato see you. any u got a new film coming out, "get a b." [ and alause ] >> "gea s m mch 2 "get b" com out rch 25th.... yeye, it's me, mes tel na kenenicicicrynston.n. >anstic >> bndon t. ckyeye.@ >> s s s a a a ahti n't alys g gto seeou, buddy. have grew onatury. >> thaha y y. [ [ rsrsrspplaus & set jayharoro. "snl," jonah h h future.


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on