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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  September 22, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: whoo! stay human, everybody! >> stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen. >> stephen: that's awfully nice.
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( cheers and applause ) thanks, everybody. please, sit down. thank you so much. you know, i love, i love to start my day with people chanting my name. you know, along with juice, toast, and milk it's part of your balanced breakfast. good evening, everybody. please sit down. we have very expensive seats. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, with stephen colbert. pope francis arrived in america today, and i feel terrible because i was supposed to pick him up at the airport, and i totally spaced. and now he's not answering my texts. i don't even know if he charges his phone. you know, he's an old guy. if you're watching this right now, your holiness, just wait at the cinnabon. i'm come and get you as soon as the show is over, okay? ( cheers and applause ) get you as soon as the show is over, okay? ( cheers and applause ) don't go anywhere. i feel terrible. i feel-- he's never going to forgive me, never! ( laughter )
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one of the reasons i forgot, this afternoon, i always read the "farmer's almanac" every day, and i noticed that this year, fall starts on september 23, tomorrow, which means today is the very last day of summer. so-- >> ohh. >> stephen: i know. and you you haven't achievedded your beach bod yet. you have about 23 minutes. just take an / and draw theabs on and stay in the middle distance and no one will know. that's what they did in "magic mike." those guys did not haveabs. it was all makeup, ladies. i hate to break your hearts. i think i did break their hearts just now. personally, i'm looking forward to the fall, the crisp, a the colorful leaves, the shorter days, the longer nights, the bare tree limbs, like skeletal arms reaching out to drag you down into the grave. ( laughter ) plus, pumpkin spice lattes, so. ( cheers and applause ) it balances out.
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we've got a great show for you tonight. donald trump is here. ( cheers and applause ) everybody loves him. everybody loves him. finally, a place on tv to hear about donald trump! he is the g.o.p. front-runner. who knows? one day i might be able to tell my grandkid i interviewed the last president of the united states. ( cheers and applause ) thank you for your service. and speaking of the u.s. government, i'll be speaking with united states secretary of energy, dr. ernest moniz. not only-- big moniz fans. big moniz fans here tonight. not only is he an m.i.t. physicist who helped negotiate the iran nuclear deal, but i believe he also invented five-hour energy drink.
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and we'll hear music from raury, who has described himself as the future of hip-hop, which would sound egotistical on any show that didn't have donald trump tonight. ♪ ♪ and, of course, one of the biggest treats is jon batiste and stay human! say hi, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) they're about to get some funk all up in your trunk. but before they do, the justice department is investigating four major airlines for price fixing since apparently they can't investigate them for just sucking. ( band playing "late show" theme ) tonight, i welcome: donald trump. u.s. secretary of energy, dr. ernest moniz.
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and a musical performance by raury. featuring mr. jon batiste and stay human. captioning sponsored by cbs ( band playing "late show" theme ) and now it's time for the "late show with stephen colbert"! ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: thank you so much. thank you, jon. >> yeah, baby, you got it. >> stephen: folks, as you can hear the excitement in this room, new york city is jumping right now. the world's leaders are all gathering over at the u.n., pope francis is on his way,
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and we have pizza rat. ( laughter ) if you're not familiar with pizza rat, you might want to check your wifi settings because yesterday the internet blew up over this video of a rat carrying a whole slice of pizza down the stairs of a subway station. americans from all walks of life were inspired at this rodent's struggle to lift his own weight in pizza. we've all been there. now, this video right here shocked the tourists and the sanitary, but for those of us who live in new york, it's really not that big of a deal. here, if a rat doesn't bring you a slice in 30 minutes or less, it's free. ( applause ) because in this city-- in this city, there's just so much urban wildlife and so much
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loose italian food laying around that you see this stuff all the time. in fact, just this weekend, i went pizza birdwatching in central park. ( laughter ) i was lucky enough to spot the double-crested cormorant carrying the elusive artichoke whiteslice. so majestic. if you keep an eye peeled, you'll often spot the calzone pigeon, the pasta possum, and, increasingly, the bagel with shmear coyote. so, pizza rat, get over yourself, okay, you're not that special. you know, there are lot of nice things i like about hosting the show but one of the things that make me so happy about hosting the show right now, is that we are just beginning the most exciting possible story, the presidential campaign. all americans are affected by the outcome, all of us get to have our say, and nearly all of
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us are running. ( applause ) and the frontrunner, donald trump, is my guest tonight. ( applause ) i certainly-- i certainly hope we are shooting this show in imax so we can capture his entire head on camera. it's in sense-a-round. trump is still leading, even after getting roughed up at last week's cnn ca debate. did you watch it? it was super fun to watch. i came up with a drinking game. i turned on the debate, and i drank. ( cheers and applause ) mmm. oh, daddy's water burns. ( laughter )
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t really made me feel part of the process. and this vicious battle for survival in a cutthroat arena reminds me of "the hunger games" in that hundreds of millions of dollars are going to be spent, and four years from now, there's going to be another one. but really, i believe it's more than "the hunger games. it's the "hungry for power games." welcome! welcome! welcome to the "hungry for power" games! assemble the tributes! yes! oh, yes, yes! ah, what a lovely crop of new flesh, vying to represent their districts in capital city! oh, yes! oh, yes, you can smell the pandering. what do i want? what do i want? ha, ha, let's have the one i
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can't identify fight the one i've never heard of! yes! ( applause ) now, i don't know-- ha-ha! delicious! i don't know who either of you gentlemen are, but i'm sure someone will miss you! may the margin of error be ever in your favor. ( laughter ) citizens, last week, the games lost a brave fighter in rick perry. i'd like to say he's gone to a better place, but i believe he lives in houston. ( cheers and applause ) or thereabouts. i don't know. i don't know. and alas, tonight, the games must bid adieu to yet another promising tribute. >> wisconsin governor scott walker is pulling the plug on a campaign that has been circling the drain for some time. >> i was sitting in church yesterday. the pastor's words reminded me that the bible is full of stories about people who were called to be leaders in unusual ways.
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today, i believe that i am being called to lead by helping to clear the field. >> stephen: yes, god is calling on him to lead by getting out of the way. ( cheers and applause ) yes! ha-ha! aah! ahh! mmmm! yeah! and this only two months after walker announced his candidacy by saying, "running was god's calling. i am certain this is god's plan for me." in other words, god said, "i have chosen you, scott walker to-- psyche! i love it! i love it! i love it when god swroaks. first, the platypus, now this. he's fun. walker is quitting the battlefield to help the other true conservatives, who will now be able to divide all of his less than one-half of 1%
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in the polls. what a bounty. yes! and one should also note that walker was the second- choice candidate of 2%. it will no doubt come as a disappointment to those voters when he drops out the second time. ha! fabulous! and though, and though he may be quitting. he leaves in the most noble way possible. >> i encourage other republican candidates to consider the same. >> stephen: by asking them to quit, too! oh, yes! in the words of one heroic lemming, "come on, the cliff's this way! let's go!" and so, fair young scott walker is no more, a stunning defeat for the sitting governor of a
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swing state who led the g.o.p. field as recently as july. alas, like so many wisconsin exports, he soured in the summer heat. he began with such promise, able to discuss any subject in a positive light, such as when he said his bald spot was not from natural aging but the result of having bumped his head while fixing a sink. it's true! no, no, it's true. it stops growing any time a part of the body is bumped. that's why no one has pubic hair anymore. ha-ha! mine's blue! mine's bright blue! ( applause ) of course, true lovers of the games forsaw his downfall when one of his sponsors, billionaire stanley hubbard, told reporters, "i think i might help some other candidates, too." ooh. ow. scott! oh, scott, you know what might spice things up a little bit. an open relationship!
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we're not breaking up. i just want to fund other people! a three-way! he fought bravely, but now he returns to america's dairy land, having learned that voters are walker intolerant. ( laughter ) so let us bid farewell to the fallen. farewell, scott walker. ( cannon fire ) ( hunger games "the fallen" theme plays ) ( applause ) >> stephen: we may have lost scott walker, but 21 tributes still remain. and we'll be right back with the
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♪ ♪ ( applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody.
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thanks so much. yeah. there's no other way to say it, ladies and gentlemen, donald trump. ♪ who's got the money? who's got the money? ♪ who's got the money? who's got the money? ♪ you got the money >> stephen: you do. they got your number over there. that's your number. >> this is so beautiful. >> stephen: isn't this beautiful? >> yeah, this is -- >> does this remind you of one of your guest bathrooms? yeah, it's really lovely. >> they've done a fantastic job. >> stephen: haven't they. thank you so much for being here. >> thank you. >> stephen: speaking of doing a fantastic job, are you setting the world on fire right now. >> well, we're having a lot of fun and i think we're hitting some pretty good issues, stephen. >> stephen: i want to thank you not only for being here but
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i want to thank you for running for president. ( cheers and applause ) because i'm not going to say-- i'm not going to say this stuff writes itself, but you certainly-- you certainly do deliver it on time every day. >> i think so. i think so. i work hard at it, i think so. >> stephen: are you shocked at all at the enormous response you've gotten from the crowds, from the voters, from the people out there in america? because you shocked the republicans. >> right. it's been so really amazing. we went to mobile, alabama, a couple of weeks ago. we had 31,000 people. dallas, texas, the other day and we had 20,000 people and did it in about three days, filled it up in three days. there's been a tremendous response in new hampshire, iowa. no matter where we go, the response just gets better and better. and the polls have been phenomenal. >> stephen: did you see zogby. >> zogby was great. >> stephen: 33%. it came out today. 33%. incredible. i'm not surprised at all.
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i'll tell you why. it's because-- >> i'm liking him a lot. >> stephen: i'm liking you, too. i'm liking you, too. i'm not surprised at all because especially in the republican field because the republican party has been a big pusher of the idea that money is speech. and you're a $10 billion mouth. ( laughter ) >> that's another way of looking at it. >> stephen: you're their worst nightmare. do you think-- they really want to stop you. >> they do. >> stephen: do you think they can stop you? >> i think that the establishment and the republican party probably isn't that thrilled. i will say this-- i'm finishing my own campaign. it's a self-funder. in other words i'm spending my own money. i'm not asking the lobbyist s. >> stephen: i understand what self-funding it. i'm not a billionaire but i understand what self-funding is. >> i don't want the money from the lobbyists -- >> you used to give a lot of money to politicians. >> i gave a lot. >> stephen: you say the people who give money to politicians owned them. what politicians did you own when you were giving money? because that is what i want to-- >> over the years -- >> anybodie anybody good?
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>> over the years i've given a lot of money to a lot of politicians and you certainly have an advantage, no question about it. the word "own" is very strong -- >> you're a very strong man. you used the word "owned." >> i guess you could say that with respect to some people. you go back three years later, you gave them a big contribution, and all of a sudden they're very receptive. if you say, "no, i'm not giving to you," and they win, and you go back three years, five years later you get the cold shoulder. i'm not sure that's a good thing and i'm self-funding. i want to do white right for the country. >> stephen: other people want some of your money. ted cruz was on last night. we asked me to ask you if you'd give him a billion dollars. >> sounds good. sounds good. he's a good man, actually. >> stephen: you have $9 billion left. >> i watched you. >> stephen: watched? >> i thought he was terrific. it was a good show. he was very good. he's a good man. >> stephen: the show was good, too. i was very good last night, too. >> i agree.
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>> stephen: very good last night. ( applause ) let me ask you, if you actually got the gig, would that be a step down for you? because, you know, what the pay is like, right? >> yeah, i do, i do. >> stephen: and having to ride on air force one. you can imagine? >> i know. things are tough. >> stephen: the smell of all those reporters who have been on there, you would have to have it fumigated. >> that is true, that is true. ( laughter ) it would be my great honor. i mean -- >> it would be a great honor? you seriously want the job giwould like to do it not because i want it but because i think i can do a great job. we can bring it back. we can bring the country back. we owe right now $19 trillion. there are tremendous problems -- >> at a certain point does it even matter how much we ow, trillion, quadrillion, what does it matter? come and get us, we have the army. >> you're right. >> stephen: what is china going to do? >> that's an interesting way of looking at it, i guess. we actually owe china $1.5 patrol which is amazing because they take our business and we
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owe them money and it's like a magic act. >> stephen: could we declare expwrups not pay them back. >> we have to do something. we have to do something. and we have to do it fairly quickly. you know when you get up to the $24 trillion, 23, 24, that's like a magic number -- >> really, what's the magic number of 23, 24? >> they say it's the number of which we become a large-scale version of greece, and that's not good. and we're very close to that number. >> stephen: wow, i don't like feta cheese. ( laughter ) ( applause ) you got the hat. let's talk about the hat. you got the great hat. it's called, "make america great again." >> it's a hot hat help the "new york times" did a story. >> stephen: the hat should be a running mate. >> i would like it. >> stephen: it should be trump-trump hat. 2016. but that implies that america is not great now. you're not saying america is not a great country or not full of great people? you're not blaming america, are, "sir? >> no, i'm not blaming america. i'm blaming people that have run the country for many years, in
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fair glns on both sides. >> i would say on both sides, and it certainly hasn't been good over the past six years but i would say both sides. we got into a twhar we haven't have been in. look what happened with iraq because we totally destabilized the middle east and now iran is going to take over iraq at some point in the not-too-distant future, in my opinion. we spent $2 trillion, thousands of lives-- $2 trillion-- thousands of lives, and we have wounded warriors, who i love all oaf the place and we have nothing. and iran is going to take over iraq, and that is going to happen. and isis has already taken parts of iraq and taken oil and they've become very rich because they have oil. and we handed everything to everybody on a silver platter, and it shouldn't have happened. >> stephen: you say-- you're a critic of the iran deal, the iran nuclear deal. >> i am. >> stephen: my guest tonight, the second guy out here-- >> i know. >> stephen: dr. ernest moniz. i never met him. i have a copy of your book "the art of the deal." would you sign it to the doctor
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right here? >> sure. sure. ( applause ). >> stephen: maybe something like, "dear ernie, better luck next time." >> i was going to say the same thing. "better luck next time." but i don't want to be a wise guy. >> stephen: you don't want to be a wise guy? it just comes naturally. >> i want to be a nice person. >> stephen: while you're doing that, can you stick ?arnd i want to talk a little bit more. we'll be right back with more donald trump. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) across america, people...
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( applause ) >> stephen: hey, we're back with donald trump. mr. trump, thanks so much for being here, sticking around again. i also want to apologize to you, because i said a few things about you over the years that are, you know, in polite company
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perhaps are unforgivable. >> almost. >> stephen: almost unforgivable. >> and some nice things. >> stephen: i don't remember, i don't remember saying anything nice. i don't remember saying anything nice. anyway, i hope you'll accept my apology. >> accepted. >> stephen: i just want to give you the opportunity, is there anybody you would like to apologize to yourself? >> ah, no. >> stephen: no? >> maybe the audience. how about the audience? no, no apologies. >> stephen: let's talk about immigration. i know you believe all illegal ill grants should be deported. >> true. we have to bring people-- look, we have a country. we have borders. we have no borders right now. we don't have a country. number one, we're going to build a wall. ( applause ) -- oh, listen to this. even with your crowd. >> stephen: they love-- they love the wall. people love the wall. >> we have to have a wall. we have to have a border. and in that wall, we're going to have a beautiful, big, fat door where people can-- they come into the country-- ( laughter ) and they come in-- listen to
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this. a beautiful door where people can come into the country but they have to come in legally. >> stephen: okay, i understand that. >> that's what a country is all about. >> stephen: you aid mexico will pay for this. >> that's correct gli know "art of the deal" and all that. how do you get the mexicans to do this. let's to role playing. i'm you, you're the president of mexico. you call me up. "donald! >> are you ready? we are going to build a wall. are you going to pay for the wall. we have been abused for a long time at the border. wait a minute, wait a minute. >> stephen: no, no. >> just so you understand. just so you understand. the wall itself, we owe-- do you know that we have a trade deficit with mexico, and i'll call you now stephen as opposed to where we're going. of almost-- listen to this, stephen. ( laughter ). >> stephen: who is this stephen? >> you're right. almost $45 billion, a trade deficit. the wall you're talking about $5
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billion to $7 billion. that's something that actually is very easy to build. it will be not a penetrable wall. this will be a serious wall. >> stephen: i can suggest something? yes. >> stephen: can i suggest something? >> go ahead. >> stephen: how about two walls, okay-- >> connected. >> stephen: no, no, not connected. two walls, one here, one there, in between a moat. ( laughter ) >> and a nice resort. >> stephen: filled with fire. >> oh, yeah. >> stephen: and fireproof crocodiles. is that enough? what do we do? how do we build a wall that will actually keep people out. >> the interesting thing, 2,000 years ago you had the great wall of china, 13,000 miles long. >> stephen: jesus helped build that. >> you're right, you're right. here you're really talking about 1,000 miles. you're talking about 1,000 miles. there are 2,000 but you need it in 1,000 miles. we can have a great and beautiful wall. it will be up. it will stop. we'll have our border, and guess what? nobody comes in unless they have their papers, and they come in legally. and we stop crime and we stop
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problems and we stop drug trade, which is massive. you know, we have so much drug trade, the cartels, are pouring through, just like there's nothing, pouring through chicago, new york, los angeles, the money goes out, the drugs come in. we're going to stop it. >> stephen: okay, well that would be good, that would be good. >> i think so. >> stephen: all right, i'm going to throw you a big, fat, meat ball for you to hit out of the park right now. >> good. >> stephen: this is the last time you ever have to address this question if you hit the ball. big, old-- there's, like, sauce all over my hands, this meated ball is so big. >> i want to hear this one. >> stephen: barack obama born in the united states. go. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> let me just -- >> was he? it's a meatball! >> i know. >> stephen: it's hanging out there! right there! come on! ( applause ). >> and you want to know, i don't talk about it anymore. >> stephen: you don't talk about it? >> i talk about jobs. i talk about our veterans being horribly treated. >> stephen: that meatball is
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now being dragged down the stepsave subway by a rat. >> i saw that rat. it's not pret gle you missed the meated ball. >> i'm talking about jobs. i'm talking about the vet who are treated like third-class citizens. they're treated worse than the illegals. the vets of this country are so mistreated terribly. i'm talking about the military building up. those are the things i'm talking about. i'm not talking about that. >> stephen: let's talk about some other stuff you have talked about. for years i play an over-the-top crveggative character-- not as many as you did. i was looking bag over some of the things you said over the years and sometimes i couldn't figure out if i said them or you said them so i would like to know if you could help me figure this out. i'm going to put up a couple of things at the bottom of the screen here and we're going to figure out if this was you or me saying these things. are you ready? >> i'm ready. >> stephen: here's the first one, "we got obama in there now, and the chinese testing him bing, bing, bing. you get a woman in there, bing bomb boom, the whole world goes
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after her. me or you." >> that is you. >> stephen: that is me. that is actually me. ( applause ) "i apologize for being perfect." >> that would be you, because i would never say a thing like that. that is you? >> stephen: that's very good. "i think apologizing is a great thing but you have to be wrong. i will absolutely approximation sometime, hopefully in the distant future, fiam ever wrong." >> that is me. >> stephen: that is you. ( applause ) you know-- you know you really well. >> i do. >> stephen: "it's freezing and snowing in new york. we need global warming." >> well, i think it's you, but it's close to being me. >> stephen: it's you. >> i think so. ( applause ) >> stephen: "so many people have told me i should oast 'meet the press' and replace the moron who is on now, just too busy, especially the next 10 years." >> the moron has become a nice
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guy. i'm starting to like him a lot. that's me. >> stephen: you're not the moron. >> no, but i colike the person. >> stephen: "medicare is like a nice set of cuff links. nobody wares cuff links anymore." >> that's you. >> stephen: that's me. "the real strong have no need to prove it to the phonies." >> that would be-- it's not me. it could be you. >> stephen: it's not me, either. it's charles manson. >> ooh! that's tough. >> stephen: it could be either one of us. >> it could be either one. >> stephen: well, donald trump, thank you so much for being here. >> good luck. >> stephen: donald trump is the leader for the republican nomination. we'll be right back. thank you so much, donald. thank you so much. donald trump, everybody. ♪ ♪ ( applause )
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no fees, 25% rewards bonus, extra interest, the preferred pricing, merrill edge online investing. pretty solid, huh? yeah, i agree. i actually have a bunch of other ideas, but they're not gonna fit on that board. you know, we got another side to that board. i don't see it right now. it doesn't -- it doesn't turn. can we underline some stuff, then? because none of it's really popping out. i've got this underlined in another color. are you gonna use that green marker? because it's just sitting there. you know, that's just... that's just decoration. and i am uncomfortable with the green marker.
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( applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my next guest was one of the lead negotiators of the iran nuclear deal. please welcome u.s. secretary of energy, dr. ernest moniz. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) thank you for being here, sir. it's an honor. >> it's my honor. my pleasure. >> stephen: all right, good.
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you spent 40 years on the nuclear physics faculty at m.i.t. before joining the administration. you've been called the best prepared secretary of energy ever, and obama's secret weapon. and my first question to you is one i forgot to ask my last guest, "is that your real hair?" >> yes, it is. it's in honor of the founding fathers. ( laughter ). >> stephen: now, have you-- is this deal a done deal? will this deal go through? is there any way the opponents of the deal can stop it at this point? >> no, the deal is going through, and frankly i think it will stop iran for having a nuclear weapon. >> stephen: for how long will it stop iran from having a nuclear weapon? by the way "stopping a nuclear weapon" got three people clapping. ( cheers and applause ) which is great. it means we're not that worried about it. but how will it stop them? the basic structure, stephen, is that we have rolled back the nuclear program very dramatically for 15 years.
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but we have put in place unpress departmented, literally in the history of nonproliferation, new verification, inspection measures that will be in place forever. >> stephen: okay, but they, they-- my understanding is that they get warned before you inspect them, right? it's like 22 days, 23 days, something like that? is it longer than that? >> well, actually -- >> is it longer than that? >> there is something called the initial protocol which in its essence means it's the key tool for the inspection agency to go to suspicious sites, should whichhave not been announce gld if it's a suspicious site, do you call them ahead of time and say, "we're coming, clean it up." >> we call them first-- we don't call them, the agency calls them and says, "we want to go there in 24 hours. of the the agency does that for any country today. the trouble is for most countries, for all countries now, except iran, there is no time limit. they can just roll it out. here, we have now put in an agreement that, that discussion
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with the country-- iran-- can only go for two weeks. and if they haven't solved it in two weeks, then we have 10 days to provide access. so it's the first time there is actually this requirement to cooperate. >> stephen: so they can stall for two weeks, and then two weeks after that-- and then after two weeks-- >> 10. >> stephen: you have to be in between 10 days. so it's 24 days. >> 24 total. >> stephen: can't they clean it up and say, "see, there's nothing here?" >> there have been illusions of throwing drugs down the toilet. it doesn't work that way with nuclear material. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( cheers ) >> stephen: okay. all right. >> first of all, we already have a history of catching this after six months, let alone 24 days. secondly, we've done experiments in our laboratories, it's really, really hard to clean up nuclear particles. >> stephen: because of the radiation? >> because of radiation and other factors. >> stephen: let's go with
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radiation. >> let's try radiation. ( laughter ). >> stephen: couldn't we have just let the israelis bomb their program into nothingness? >> well, you know, i sat in the senate-- it's always a pleasant experience. ( laughter ) between the secretary of defense and the chairman of the joint chief of staff, and they were asked this question about the military option. and the answer was, look, if we bomb them, yeah, we can really set them back for two or three years. well, this agreement sets them back for 15 years. so the argument as to why one would attack a military option with all kinds of unintended consequences, versus a diplomatic solution that has 15 years and in addition strong and unique inspection measures forever, pretty obvious to me which way you go. ( applause ) lawyer. >> stephen: now, a lot of people running for president right now are saying that they
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will tear up this deal on day one. have you thought about printing it on kevlar so they can't do that? ( laughter ) and can they do that anyway? can they tear this deal up on day one? >> the next president could certainly withdraw from the deal. it's a political arrangement, basically. however, we believe that a year and a half from now, the merits of the deal are likely to be very, very clear, and it would certainly be a foolish step, to be perfectly honest. >> stephen: you are a nuclear physicist, am i correct in saying that? >> that is correct. >> stephen: aren't you part of the problem? ( laughter ) it was you guys who came with nuclear weapons to gwynn with. you're just trying to stuff the jeanie back in the pita pocket here. do you feel any associated guilt from your profession that we're in this position now that we have these weapons of mass destruction? >> one way to answer that question is to tell you currently we are called the department of energy but we do
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have responsibility today for meanting our nuclear weapon stockpile, and we are doing so while reducing the numbers, and doing so now for-- since 1992 with no nuclear tests. so we are using science right now to move towards president obama's goal of a future-- and it will be a ways off-- a future of no nuclear weapons, but right now, we've got to manage the system, and as i said, we both reduce and we do it without testing. >> stephen: do you ever think to yourself. ( cheers and applause ) that's really pandering to the crowd saying we're getting rid of nuclear weapons. we're not going to destroy the world. that's a super-pander. ( laughter ) before gu, i got you a little something. it's-- it's "the art of the deal" signed by donald trump. and what does it say? >> "to ernest, better luck next time.
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time." >> stephen: that's a collector's item. >> do you you happen to have a copy of the iran deal they could sign? >> stephen: no, i believe you'll have to get that from the state department. >> very good. >> stephen: doctor, thank you so much for joining me. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) secretary of energy, dr. ernest moniz. we'll be right back. i sure had a lot on my mind when i got out of the hospital after a dvt blood clot. what about my family?
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both made switching to eliquis right for me. ask your doctor if it's right for you. what beer may i fetch you, my lord? umm... i'll have a redd's apple ale. and perhaps a wrench. no. a wrench, a wrench. redd's apple ale. also in strawberry and green apple.
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♪ i feel good today oh, so good today ♪
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♪ ♪
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making his network debut with the song "devil's whisper" from the album "all we need," please welcome raury. >> ♪ you better run, run from the devil ♪ you better run, run from the devil ♪ you better hide, hide hide from the
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♪ hide from the >> ♪ young boy trying to rule the world i see well, young boy ♪ i can give you everything diamonds ♪ everything you touch can be golden ♪ but first you gotta listen to me ♪ i'll tell the truth, i'll promise you ♪ this world may frown upon the things i have you do ♪ but i got taste, and i got style ♪ i know the twists and turns to
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make your life worth ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> ♪ you better run, run from the devil ♪ you better run, run from the devil ♪ you better run, run from the devil ♪ you better run, run from the devil ♪ ♪ one, two, three, hit it!
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> ♪ my brother you could probably win ♪ in a (bleep) talking competition ♪ my compositions the opposition of all the that got (bleep) ♪ wishing to spit tragic, the (bleep) that get ♪ you deal crack and you spend cash ♪ on cement asses my heart burns in the ♪ fire of truth got the heat of seven suns ♪ in the meteor treatment needed more (bleep) burn on worldstar ♪ than 1792 won't act like i'm any better, ♪ you or me, i am you we are hate, we are love, ♪ as below so above we got poison everywhere ♪ so what's a war on a drug? we at war with ourselves, ♪ talking war with no guns ♪ would you go do it a run? 'cause i could be m.l.k., ♪ i could be juicy j or a lame on instagram ♪ that shows the world his a.k. 47's the way, you can follow a stray ♪ at the end of the day, at the end of the day you better >> ♪ run! >> ♪ run in some type of direction ♪ 'cause the people going nowhere are the ones that are flexing ♪ i'm not trying to be a preacher, i was never a reverend ♪ but i can take your ass to church ♪ and show you glimpses of heaven ♪ you better >> ♪ run! >> ♪ run in some type of direction ♪ 'cause the people going nowhere
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are the ones that are flexing ♪ i'm not trying to be a preacher, i was never a reverend ♪ but i can take your ass to church ♪ and show you glimpses of heaven you better >> ♪ you better run, run from the devil ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: the album "all we need" is out october 16. raury, everyone! we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )
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captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh >> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be hugh jackman, hugh evans, senator elizabeth warren and pearl jam. now, stick around for james corden. good night! ♪ are you ready all to have some fun and feel the love tonight don't you worry about the color of rug you've chosen for your living room it's "the l


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