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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  December 10, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am PST

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our next newscast is tomorr morning at 4-30. >> the late show is next with stephen colbert. >> next newscast tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> see you then. >> have a good night! and welcome to the colbert. >> stephen: right on! (cheers and applause) welcome to the late show, everybody! (cheers and applause) very nice. thank you, jon. >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! lz that's-- . >> stephen: that's nice, thank you, everybody, thank you so
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much. beautiful to hear. i like it. thank you, everybody. that's so nice. thanks, everybody, thanks. whooo! (cheers and applause) thank you. welcome-- welcome to the late show, everybody, thanks so much, i'm stephen colbert. how is everybody doing tonight? doing all right? i'm so glad, that is wonderful, because i'm feeling great tonight. because for once i have good news. and here it is. donald trump was attacked by a bald eagle. (cheers and applause) lz it was during a photo shoot for time magazine back in august. but time just released the footage. take a look at it. look at that! that eagle-- that eagle thinks that donald's hair is like a blond rabbit or something.
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and donald is getting out of there faster than a muslim tenant in trump tower. (cheers and applause) and like all things trump, this story has rocketed around the globe. i believe we have some footage of people reacting to seeing this video for the first time. (cheers and applause) now, even the animals are happy. here's the thing, everyone's having a good time with that footage of trump. and here at the late show we have enjoyed a joke or 50 or 60 at donald's expense. but when it comes to our endangered species, and i mean this very seriously-- (cheers and applause)
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jon! so nice, jon stewart, everybody! fantastic, jon, this is lovely. this is so wonderful. what brings you to this neck of the television? >> i'm terribly sorry to interrupt. i wanted to-- there's actually, i'm here for a reason. there is a big vote coming up in congress to reauthorize health benefits for 9/11 first responders. (applause). >> stephen: i know that about that the zadroga act. it is a slam dunk, everybody wants that, right. everybody wants that. (cheers and applause) >> if i may, everybody human. but congress is-- if i could
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make a last minute pitch to them. >> stephen: sir, absolutely, go ahead, just give it your best shot. >> thank you, my brother. >> stephen: have a seat, everybody. >> have a seat, here we go, here we go, for a second i actually thought they were leaving. here we go. after the sacrifice that our first responders made-- . >> stephen: boring! sorry, jon, sorry. i hate to go proon you here but you've been out of the game for awhile. that's got no zazz, all right? you want people to pay attention. >> sure, okay, okay. >> stephen: no one is going to listen to you unless you, i don't know how to put this, trump it up a little bit. you got to trump it up. thank you, jon, the media won't pay attention to anything-- it won't pay attention to anything at all unless you are donald trump. all right, mark, do we have that? here, we keep--
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(cheers and applause) i keep one of these standing by in case i ever have to say something important. >> sure, no, i understand. >> stephen: shall we do it. >> i would rather not. >> stephen: you probably should. do you want the attention or not, jon. >> i do. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: please, please. (laughter) >> the zadroga act is an important piece of legislation-- . >> stephen: i have to stop you right there, something else is missing. can i have some makeup, please. thank you very much. (laughter) >> i was just going to tell them-- i think that's trump
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thuf. >> stephen: think so? some cultures they put this above the door at passover. >> there you go, my friend. >> stephen: all right, all right. now, now you're ready for people to pay attention to your message, all right. >> all right. >> stephen: i will step out of here. you bring da noise, bring da trump. >> all right. >> 9/11 first responders-- . >> stephen: bring da trump! >> these 9/11 first responders-- let me tell you something, hey, these 9/11 first responders are the most top notch first class diamond encrusted heroes america can produce. don't let congress play politics with this necessary bill, if i'm elected, and i will be elected, i will build a wall around
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politics and i will make politics pay for it. tweet, at your congressman with the hashtag worstresponders. tell them donald said pull up your big boy pants and make america great again. pass the zadroga act or i will glue congress together, dip them in gold and wear them around my frigin neck. plenty, fantastic. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: yes, my friend, that-- people heard that. they heard that. (cheers and applause) >> thank you. >> stephen: i hope congress did too. >> all right, thank you. >> stephen: people hear that. come here, my friend. thank you. now we've got a great show for you tonight. we've got a great shoavment i will be sitting down with superstar action man bruce willis. (cheers and applause) he's starring in the broadway version of "miss ree."
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>> he's a good friend of mine, he an i will defeat isis hand to hand. >> stephen: also i will be talking to best selling author of "the big short" michael lewis, everybody. >> i like books, love books. he's got good books. >> stephen: he's got excellent books. keep moving to the next one, and let's see, keep going. we will have a performance,-- we're free falling, we'll have a performance by hip-hop artist lizzo. >> oh, 100 percent, a hundred percent black rappers support donald, is that an eagle, is that an eagle? >> stephen: it's not an eagle donald jon. that is jon batiste and stay human. say hi, everybody. (cheers and applause) >> very nice! >> stephen: now before-- before they kick things off, one more thing, here in new york city burglars broke into
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gwyneth paltrow's goop store and made off with $17 3,000 worth of merchandise. >> $17 3,000, that's right, they stole two pillows. (cheers and applause) >> tonight, stephen welcomes bruce willis. author michael lewis. and a musical performance by lizzo. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now it's time for the late show with stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs
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>> stephen: whooo! (cheers and applause) whooo! >> stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thank you very much, thanks, everybody. i got to tell you, i got to say rubbing cheat owes dust on jon stewart is a great-- is a part of this complete breakfast is what it is. i got to do that more often. now i think a lot of you know that i am a roman catholic. but i am so busy doing this show every night, i don't always have time for my favorite catholic rituals like sunday mass or saying the rosary or feeling guilty for not going to mass or saying the rosary. but of course without a doubt my favorite catholic ritual that i no longer have time for is confession. well, even if i can't sit down with my priest, i still have a
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lot to get off my conscience. and i feel like i can say anything to you, my audience. you won't tell anybody, right? >> no! >> stephen: thanks. this is stephen colbert's midnight confessions. just for the record, i'm not sure the following things are sins. but they are things i feel really guilty about, okay? i will be right back. forgive me, audience. i-- (laughter) forgive me, audience, i give to the homeless, but only when i'm trying to get rid of pennys. i shall i kind of like yankee
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candle. i am a 51 year old man, but i can name every member of taylor swift's girl squad. sometimes instead of paying a toll on the highway, i just drive threw yelling i'm stephen colbert! (cheers and applause) i never pitch in for pizza, but i always take the last slice. i tell people that my fists are named slayer and dominator, but they're really named ross and rachel. (laughter) audience, i actually like the
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npr pledge drive. it makes me feel like i'm wanted. sometimes, sometimes i use my foot to make lines in the carpet so it looks like i vacuumed. when i'm in other people's houses, i look through their medicine cabinets. those were actually tick takes. and i regret having put them on a pizza. one time a little kid asked me if famous people like me go to the bathroom.
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i lied and told him yes. (laughter) sometimes i look at a shampoo bottle and i think shouldn't they have tested this on animals first? (laughter) last week when i was talking with barack obama, i don't have anything to confess, i just wanted to say that last week i was talking with barack obama. (cheers and applause) my dog isn't really a service dog, i just bought him a vest online so i could take him to the movies with me. you want some pizza, have some pizza. (laughter)
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that wasn't my real dog. (laughter) and i'm guessing i wasn't supposed to feed him pizza. every year i go on my wikipedia page and i make myself 1 inch taller. (laughter) when i catch a fish, i always throw it back but only after stairing into its eyes and saying, you owe me one. forgive me, audience. >> we forgive you! >> stephen: thanks. i feel a lot better. stick around, we've got bruce willis. (cheers and applause) >> the late show with stephen colbert sponsored by the netflix
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original film, the ridiculous six ,,,,,,,,
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(cheers and applause). >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my first guest tonight is an honest to god movie star. you know him from "pill fiction"
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"diehard" and quks the expandables ." now he is making his brdway debut in the broadway play misery. please welcome bruce willis. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: hey, man. >> hey, man. >> stephen: hey, tough guy, how are you? >> couldn't be more frightened. >> stephen: really? of the audience, of. >> of you, you. >> stephen: terrified of me? >> for many, many years i have been not necessarily you, but your comedy. >> stephen: terrified of my comedy? >> i could never be that funny. could never-- . >> stephen: i could never be as tough as you, man, cuz you're like a quint essential-- see, that's it.
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that's it, man, i got to get that. i got to get that. you have five daughters, right? >> i do have five daughters. >> stephen: does that stare come in handy when their dates come to pick them up within not yes. it has never worked. >> stephen: just hand them like a dvd collection of your work and say have her back by 11:00, my friend. >> that's right. >> stephen: have your daughters turned you into a softie because you seem like a tough guy but have they made you a softie? >> i have to admit that, well, one of my children, i actually beat-- for the love of me, for the life of me, i can't remember her-- oh, rumor, i once-- . >> stephen: she's 27. >> she's 27 years old. she earns her own money. >> stephen: that's nice. do you ever hit her up for cash. are you doing theater now and that doesn't pay well. (laughter) you just kl really can't afford
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a shave. (applause) going do to be down to here by february. >> stephen: exactly. are you doing the theater now, making your broadway debut in misery, which is-- dheers (cheers and applause). >> stephen: made into a movie and everything. >> horrifying. >> stephen: it is horrifying, a horrifying story. are people horrified when they watch it. >> not necessarily. they laugh at some of the most disturbing moments. >> stephen: really? >> of the play. and no one seems to be able to explain it. of why people are laughing. >> stephen: like what might. >> well, when someone gets shot dead right on stage with a double barreled shot gun and everybody goes, oh, all right, that's really cool, that's good. i don't know what that audience was-- that that happened. >> stephen: new yorkers are tough people. >> they are. and for good reason.
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>> stephen: has stephen king seen this yet? >> is this my matter. >> stephen: it's been there for a couple of days. go ahead. i don't think. >> refreshing. get a little bit in my beard and see if that happens. >> stephen: has stephen king seen this yet? hold on, let me get an egg timer before you answer. (laughter) >> i don't think so, so far. we have not seen-- . >> stephen: he's a good guy. we had him on the show. >> no way. >> stephen: yeah, we had him on the show, he is a very good guy, came sitting in the chair right there. >> he came out of maine. came out of hiding. >> stephen: yeah, we shipped him in from maine. he just appeared in a puff of smoke, actually. >> you think you can get him to come down to the theater. >> stephen: yeah, i will call him up, stephen, are you up there, you, me, we go see misery together, it's a deal, all right. i will tell you what he says back.
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>> okay. (laughter). >> stephen: can i say something i'm jealous about. i understand you spend 80% of this play in a bed. that's a sweet gig. (laughter) >> yeah, it's a good gig, it's a good gig. it's a small bed. it's a long way to the floor. >> stephen: you're one big action guy, one some of the biggest action guys in the world. a lot of action guys like tom cruise say, they did all their own stunts. do-- did you ever, like, back in the day, did you do your own stunlts. >> of course. >> stephen: really? >> you have to. >> stephen: like bare foot across the glass in diehard and that kind of stuff. >> yeah. >> stephen: why do you need to do that, what is the purpose of that, no offense. >> for the audience, for, you know-- (cheers and applause). >> stephen: for the audience. i know, okay, but you don't do it any more, i assume. >> oh no, i still do t i still do it. >> stephen: are you 60 years old. >> 60 years old thrk year.
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>> stephen: i find it hard to believe you still do your own stunts. >> well, i feel that i-- i would let people down if i didn't do my own stunts. >> stephen: okay. so i guess you do your own stunts, then. (laughter) i don't-- i mean with all due respect, i find that hard to believe that a man who spends most of his time lying down on the job these days, does his own stunts, please take that with respect. i mean it with respect, but i don't believe it. >> don't believe t huh. >> stephen: no, i do not. >> now that's a problem. (applause) >> i'm out from-- come out from behind the desk. (applause). >> stephen: yeah. >> hands in pockets. >> stephen: you want to go?
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>> it's already begun. >> stephen: you look tired, bruce. let me get you a chair. >> stephen: that's what i'm talking about, willis. (applause)
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>> colbert! >> stephen: i'm gluten free you son of a bitch. >> are you not entertained? (cheers and applause) . >> stephen: how did you get so strong, you magnificent bas tard? yes, yes!
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>> yipee kaya william faulkner. (applause). >> stephen: i'm sorry for doubting you. >> i. >> i don't do my own stunts. >> stephen: son of a bitch. oh, that one hurt. >> stephen: bruce willis, everyone, misery at the broadhearst theater through february 149. we'll be right back. ,,,,,,
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(cheers and applause). >> stephen: welcome back. my next guest is the best selling author of the blind side, moneyball and the big
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short which was just turned into a movie. please welcome michael lewis. (applause) >> all right. as i was saying before, you've written some of the most fascinating nonfiction books out there. flash boys, blind side, boomer angry, liar's porker, moneyball. and the big short. now made into a movie. >> yeah. (applause). >> stephen: ryan gosling, brad pit, steve carell. christian bale. tell the people out there, just a quick education, because you're better at educating
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people at complicated things than anybody i know. >> that say bad set up. >> stephen: but go ahead. you have complicated things like wall street, you are like america's liver. you take a complicated thing and break it down into a nutritional supplement for us. so what say short on wall street what is shorting. >> to bet against. so normally you think of investing, you are buying something. >> stephen: i think your company will do well. >> it will go up. but if you actually take a dim view of a company and you think its stock price is going to go down, you can short it. and how you do that is you borrow-- if i was going to short it to you. >> stephen: yeah. >> i find someone who owned it like some ibm stock, i would borrow it from them, pay them a fee to borrow it and sell it to you. i don't own it, so i'm betting on, to buy it back from you later at a cheaper price, so i'm betting against it. and in this case, this is a story of the financial crisis. the financial crisis organized itself, the wall street organized itself around a giant
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bet. kind of hundreds of billions of dollars bet on subprime mortgage bonds. >> stephen: letting up to the 2008 financial crisis. >> most of the inside of wall street was long, they owned subprime mortgage bonds. and the guys in the movies, the guys in the book from betting, they saw it coming and were betting against it. >> stephen: how many people saw this sort of thing coming. you say that wall street was long, like everybody on wall street was like how is this. >> i think it's fair to say that up until almost the very end, all the big wall street banks, certainly the regulators, most investors didn't really see it coming. when i was working on the book, i remember asking the question, who was on the right side, like who were the smart people, all these banks were the stupid money. and now there is the thing that was shocking to me. you have these banks that have had call, like the best and the brightest from america's best universities, for 30 years, they ship these people in, and they commit mass suicide. i mean they make this-- these
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horrible investment decisions. the one thing they are supposed to do, right, is figure out where you put capital, where you lend money. and they poured hundreds of billions of dollars into these bad loans. who were the ones on the other side. oddballs, mainly. they were maybe kind of a dozen or 15 people, all together, who-- . >> stephen: all together. >> no, no, who-- . >> stephen: there are hundreds of thousands of people. >> let me qualify, who went all in, they said this is the bet of a lifetime to bet ginsz the system to bet against what these banks are doing. and who really, essentially risked their careers making the bet. lots of investors made little bets. the guys who laid it all on the line, not very many. >> stephen: christian bale, what is his character. >> dr. michael berry. >> stephen: and he goes into gold moon sax or one of these big investment banks and says will you sell me something called a subprime mortgage credit default swap. >> he is buying insurance on the bond. so it's like if i think your
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house is going to burn down and i want to bet on it, i could buy insurance on your house. >> stephen: are you betting my house would burn down. >> that is kind of what he is saying. he says i think your house will burn down and i want to buy insurance on it. sells me the insurance. i don't own the house. >> stephen: aren't you, have an incentive to become an arsonist. >> yes, you do. >> stephen: people did lose their homes but the banks did not go out of business because we bailed them out and did not break them up. >> true. >> stephen: was that a bad idea? >> yes, yes. >> stephen: why, because i had bernanke on the show. i have had in that chair, i have had hillary clinton, ben bernanke. he said you had to save them, nothing to do the whole house come a tunling down if you didn't. hiltry clinton said it was a mistake. next time we can't bail them out and have to break them up. >> what they failed to appreciate, when they resuscitated these places and let them stay in business, that they would proceed then to not only get bigger, even bigger,
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that's the amazing thing, but also to start to met el in the process to reform them, and to sort of like throw their political thought into preventing any kind of change. so misreading the political consequences of letting them survive. so it would have made-- it would have been much easier to reform if the banks weren't there paying lobbyists, paying politicians to stop it from happening. >> stephen: is there something right now, i mean there must be something right now that ia a handful of people are shorting but the rest of us just have no idea about that is just waiting out there like a spider to catch us. >> i'm just a writer. i am not-- . >> stephen: well, you used to do this, you used to do this. >> but i sucked at it. >> stephen: did you sell bad bonds? >> that's putting it a little too crudely. >> stephen: yes or no question, senator, yes or no question. >> yeah, absolutely. you are continue allly put in the position of having to sell stuff the bank wants to unload. do i absolve me, can i go in the
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confessional. >> stephen: do you forgive him? >> i'm so sorry. i'm half of who i was before i came. >> stephen: don't go anywhere. you're staying right there. the big short opens in new york and los angeles tomorrow, and nationwide december 23rd. michael lewis, everybody. we'll be right back. 7 ,,,,
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my nand i've... seen things. like the sock rampage of 2010. the sleep eating of 2012. and the babysitter makeout of 2014. gross. but now with nest cam, these guys can check in 24/7. so they can see the crazy things i see. hey ya little thief! did he have thumbs? okay, now i've seen it all. nest. welcome to the magic of home.
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>> stephen: welcome back, everybody, thanks so much. now folks, don't know what your weekend plans are. and don't say getting those shelves up in the garage because we both know that you're lying. but i'm going to go see in the heart of the sea. it's a new blockbuster film about the 19th century ship the essex which was attacked by a giant whale. an because it's a ron howard film, probably a giant mermaid. what's really interesting is that in the heart of the sea tells the true story that inspired herman melville to write mobby dick which is widely considered to be the greatest american novel which does not involve da vinchi codes. now i know it's possible that some of you may not have read mobydick, no judge. , an 8900 page novel that includes multiple chapters with the an sentd art of scrimshaw
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isn't everybody's cup of ambergris, it doesn't matter if you never picked it up or have read it and consider yourself a bit of a mobydickhead. this movie is the perfect time to brush up on an american classic. so hear to help us right now is prove terror-- professor of american studies at columbia university and renowned melville scholar andrew delbanco. is mobby dick really based on a tru story. >> yes, melville knew the story of the essex. it was bad news, everybody at sea knew about t whales could get angry and sailors figured whales could sink, this was the whale that turned on the ship that was trying to kill it. >> everybody knew about it, melville heard it first when he went to sea in 1841. >> stephen: okay, now what i really want, i would like you to be able to explain to my audience exactly why it is an
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american classic. you it is a long book and i need to make this quick and exciting for our network tv audience. >> i got it. >> stephen: so what people want to know is you and i have already had this conversation on the nitro roller coaster at six flags great adventure with a 230 foot vertical drop. it is rated the third moses terrifying roller coaster on earth. all right, andrew, andrew, jim, let's show everybody the lecture. so you were named great teacher by columbia university. >> that's true. >> stephen: okay. if you are such a great teacher, can you teach me mobby dick in two minutes at four gs. >> i will give it a shot. >> stephen: all right, let's do this thing. so do you like roller coaster. >> i hate them, i'm terrified of them. >> stephen: okay, it's going to be great. you are going to love it. so-- i guess my first question
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is, if mobydick is such a great move novel, why do people have to be forlingsed to read it. >> they don't, i know people that read it voluntarily. >> stephen: are they teachers. >> no just people that find it opens up their imagination. >> stephen: so why is this the great american novel? >> it was a crazy new country. we needed a crazy new novel. >> stephen: how old ask it. >> about 155 years old. >> stephen: wow. >> it has it broke all the rules of novel writing. >> stephen: do you think americans have the patience for a 160 year old 800 page novel and please tell the people who are watching people on the roller coaster. wait, let's see how well you know the book, on three say the opening line with me. one, two, three. >> call me ismaele. >> whooo! >> stephen: who is ismalle, why should i care. >> he say wanderer, he doesn't know who he is, like the rest of
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us. >> stephen: so is your metaphor for americans. >> i think so. trying to figure out who we are all the time. >> stephen: who is qu iqag. >> he is a-- can i balance,. >> stephen: are there a lot of canibals in the book? >> no, just one. >> stephen: is the book procanibal. >> sort of. >> stephen: really? >> george washington can ballisticically developed. >> stephen: so what daws the whale represent? >> the whale is the reason we're all angry at the world. evil. >> stephen: okay, we're almost over. cliff notes, what is the book about? >> a quest for meaning in life. >> stephen: what is the meaning of life? >> i have no idea after this ride. >> stephen: all right. go. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: do a hab and the while get together. >> yeah, but it's a very sat outcome. they don't get along well. it's bad news for ahab.
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>> stephen: does everyone have a white whale? >> i think so. i think we want to explain to ourselves why the world seems unfair sometimes and does bad things to us. >> stephen: well, andrew, thank you so much. >> a pleasure. >> stephen: that seems like a great book. and now i don't have to read it. >> exactly. i'm glad i could do something for you. >> stephen: we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) ,,,,
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♪ ♪ grow old with me ♪ let us share what we see ♪ just you and i ♪ ♪ grow old with me ♪ let us share what we see ♪ and oh the best it could be ♪ just you and i ♪
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>> stephen: here to perform ain't i, please welcome lizzo. (cheers and applause) ♪ ♪ >> ♪ i, i, i, ♪ i'm in the, i'm in the, i'm in the ♪ i'm in the business of makin' music that music business ♪ that business, no one can witness ♪ ¡cause i, i make that crack music nigga ♪ that real black music nigga ♪ the only singles that i'm droppin' ♪ are the ones flappin' at the bands of your white briefs, ♪ white boys please can barely believe ♪ i walk by as they hold they skeets ♪ by the seams of they jeans cream get the money, ♪ and run it to the hills ya'll straight into my pocket, ♪ tired of the deals dog
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start my own label, ♪ keep the leakin' sealed off if you got a big mouth, ♪ then you might get peeled off i'm the only fat lip bass, ♪ my flipper-- vroom peels off eatin' flounder, sebastians like some bath salts ♪ munchin' on his bones, lookin' at him like it's your fault, ♪ look at what you made me do yo pass the hot sauce. ♪ lookin' at the back of sophia eris' head ♪ eatin' a sandwich, but we don't got bread ♪ got a spider ass bite on my head hangry ♪ feelin' soupy, i brought my pho kit, ♪ yo i'm duckin' donald, daffy, howards them cowards ♪ can never throw shots at a super power ♪ what was russia without the czars ♪ what was henry ford without the cars ♪ my grandparents worked at ford factory ♪ so henry is nothin' without my family tree ♪ and a slave-owner family needed black blood still ♪ so i think we need a spot up on henry's will ♪ that will never be the case, in case you ain't keepin' up ♪ i'm dishin' out cases of that heavy bass
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♪ and them bass heads straight from the oppressor's loins ♪ are giving us "our free us"-- and hella coins ♪ so bob ya head crazy, bob ya head crazy ♪ hip hop hip hop turned crack from the era of crack babies ♪ so bob ya head crazy, bob ya head crazy ♪ hip hop about to give oratories ♪ in stadiums and laboratories ♪ so bob ya head crazy, bob ya head crazy ♪ hip hop hip hop turned crack from the era of crack babies ♪ so bob ya head crazy, bob ya head crazy ♪ hip hop about to give oratories ♪ in stadiums and laboratories >> this perform ang is dedicated to my grandmother who passed away this week. this is a moment, let's celebrate. ♪ it don't matter how deep your pockets go ♪ they still get their fill
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they gonna scrapt the bottom ♪ it don't matter how deep your soul is ♪ they sho' is blinded by the light ♪ it don't matter how deep your pockets go ♪ they still get their fill they gonna scrapt the bottom ♪ it don't matter how deep your soul is ♪ they sho' is blinded by the light blinded by the light blinded by the light blinded by the light ♪ so bob ya head crazy, bob ya head crazy ♪ hip hop hip hop turned crack from the era of crack babies
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♪ so bob ya head crazy, bob ya head crazy ♪ hip hop about to give oratories ♪ in stadiums and laboratories ♪ so bob ya head crazy, bob ya head crazy ♪ hip hop hip hop turned crack from the era of crack babies ♪ so bob ya head crazy, bob ya head crazy ♪ hip hop about to give oratories ♪ in stadiums and laboratories a woman, a woman. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: whooo! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: lizzo, the new all bum is out today, lizzo, we'll be right back, everybody. (cheers and,,,,,,
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and that's what we're doing at xfinity. we are challenging ourselves to improve every aspect of your experience. and this includes our commitment to being on time. every time. that's why if we're ever late for an appointment, we'll credit your account $20. it's our promise to you. we're doing everything we can to give you the best experience possible. because we should fit into your life. not the other way around. the open water paddlers. greenwood runners. the hike life trail club. for us it's not about running faster. it's about being out here together. the feeling is hard to describe. you cant put put into words. but we don't have to. for friends who come together to reach for better. we brew a superior tasting light beer with fewer carbs and calories. michelob ultra. the superior light beer.
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. >> stephen: that's it for the late show, everybody. tune in tomorrow when my guest will be playwright lin manual miranda, ike bairn holtz and sharon jones and the dap kings. now stim around for my friend james corden. good night, everybody. captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh reggie: ♪ are you ready to have some fun and feel the love tonight it's "the late late show"


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