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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  June 13, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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we'll see you then. captioning sponsored by cbs >> stephen: welcome to "the late show." yesterday a terrorist killed 49 people and wounded 53 nor orlando in the most deadly shooting in american history. naturally, we each ask ourselves what can you possibly say in the face of this horror? but then sadly you realize, you know what to say, because it has been said too many times before. you have a pretty good idea of what most people are gonna say. you know what a president,
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whoever it is, will probably say. you know what both sides of the political aisle will say. you know what gun manufacturers will say. even me, with a silly show like this, you have some idea what i will say because even i have talked about this when it's happened before. it's as if there's a national script that we've learned, and by accepting the script, we tacitly accept that the script will end the same way every time: the with nothing changing. except for the loved ones and the families of the victims, for whom nothing will ever be the same. it's tempting to be paralyzed by such a mon trousely hateful act, to despair and say that's the way the world is now. well, i don't know what to do, but i do know that despair is a victory for hate. hate wants us to be too weak to change anything. now, these people in orlando were apparently targeted because of who they love. and there have been outpourings of love throughout the country and around the world.
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love in response to hate. love does not despair. love makes us strong. love gives us the courage to act. love gives us hope that change is possible. love allows us to change the script. so love your country, love your family, love the families and the victims and the people of orlando. but let's remember that love is a verb. and "to love" means to do something. i don't know what else to say. hopefully, my guest will have an idea. please welcome bill o'reilly. (cheers and applause) bill, thanks for being here.
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bill, thanks for being here. >> sure. >> stephen: we booked you over a month ago. i know you guys are busy over at the real news, so i appreciate you still being here tonight. you pay attention to everything that happens after a big news story happens, especially after a national tragedy like this one. what have you heard out there in the first 24 to 36 hours that sounds like a good response to you? if it was president o'reilly, what would you be listening to and what would you do? >> well, first of all, it wasn't a tragedy like one of our contributors said like an am track train derailing. this is a basic war we're in. i look at the news from an historical point of view, not only a contemporary point of view. i think at times like these, americans, after the appropriate outpouring of grief which we've
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had, and then the appropriate care for the families involved, which they're raising millions of dollars now. actually, there was a line to give blood eight hours long in orlando today, and all of that is appropriate. then you have to basically step back and say, all right, how do we solve this problem because it's an ongoing problem. it's a war. these people, the islamic jihadists have declared war in the west, in the united states. that's what they've done. now, they don't represent most to have the muslim world, but there is enough of them to cause the world pain on a consistent basis. so that's the problem. >> stephen: well, you have framed the problem in that way. >> right. >> stephen: but it can be looked at in a different way. you can also say the problem is easy access to high capacity, rapid-firing weaponry. that's another way. (cheers and applause) and they don't have to -- as the president said in his address, they do not have to be
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either/or, they can both be problems. if you accept those can both be part of the problem here in. >> i don't think the problem is defined nearly at the jihadist level by the american gun experience. i don't. >> stephen: tens of thousands of people are killed with guns. >> right. >> stephen: and having nothing to do with jihadis or islamic extremists. there have been mass murders who have nothing to do with radical ideology. this is someone with radical ideology and is motivated perhaps by a schizophrenic interest in believing he's part of something bigger, perhaps by responding to a call from i.s.i.s. to kill people in the united states, but then he had the access to the weapon to do the deed. so it's got to both be part of the problem, don't you think? >> but you have to step back and look at solutions to problems rather than lamenting problems
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that cannot be solved. >> stephen: but if you don't agree what the problem, is you can never agree on a solution. >> okay, but -- (cheers and applause) -- it's my job as a news analyst to find a solution to the problem, and the solution is not some kind of federal gun control at a level of taking guns away. >away (audience reacts) >> stephen: listen so what he has to say, please. >> chicago has the toughest gun laws in the country. chicago has the highest murder rate in the country. why? because you cannot patrol 24-7 criminals and terrorists who have access to guns. >> stephen: and they come from mostly outside of chicago. >> there are hundreds of millions of guns on the streets of america right now, legal guns, and that's not going to change because we have the second amendment protections and our history is one of that we
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use weapons not only to get our freedom from great britain but to forge the west where there wasn't any control of the law. now, australia is the best example. australia had, 20 years ago -- i think it was this week -- an horrific, almost like orlando, i think it was 35 people in tasmania killed with an automatic weapon and they banned all automatic weapons and most handguns. (applause) >> stephen: they reduced the number of weapons in the country by about half. >> more than that. if you carry a concealed weapon or pistol in australia, 14 years in prison. (applause) so we can learn from industrial i can't the gun murder rate in 20 years has fallen 72% in australia. in the united states, roughly over the same period of time, the murder rate with guns has fallen 30% and the shootings have fallen 60%. nobody knows that.
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okay, our gun problem is going down here, not up. why? now, this is the key to solving the gun problem -- why is that there have been mandatory federal sentences handed out to violent offenders including drug gangsters. those mandatory sentences are now under fire from the left. they don't like them. okay. but they took off the streets most of the real big-time bad criminals and put them away. so my solution to the gun problem is this -- number one, congress debates which guns are allowed. you can't have a bazooka. you can't have hand grenades. you can't. so it's perfectly legitimate for congress to say what kind of rifles should people be able to buy. >> stephen: so president o'reilly would be open to the idea that ak-47s or ar15s should be limited. >> you can brit out and say these weapons should not be sold in the united states, no matter
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what the states say because federal law takes precedent, and debate it. in 1976 they stopped many of the high-tech rifles. they banned them and that lapsed. we should look at that. >> stephen: let's get to radical islamic terrorism. >> i want to address guns because your screw applauding stuff they shouldn't be applauding. what we need to do is every single crime committed in this country with a gun whether orlando terrorism or chicago in the inner city drug gangs, every crime is then a federal crime. no more local or state, it's a federal crime. >> stephen: don't you think there will be outcry from people who believe in states rights. >> outcry doesn't concern me. >> stephen: outcry over the second amendment does concern you. >> i don't care. >> stephen: you don't care about the second amendment? >> i do, but the second amendment doesn't give anybody the right to commit a crime with a gun. >> stephen: i understand that.
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o every gun crime, including selling illegal guns, is a federal crime with mandatories. so if you rob a seven-eleven with a gun, not only are you convicted of the robbery of the seven-eleven which is a local beef, but you get ten years in the federal penitentiary on top of that. that takes away -- >> stephen: mandatory sentencing. you believe that some limiting of access to high-capacity and semi-automatic weaponry is a reasonable thing for congress to -- >> right, congress passes that law and federalizes the gun crime. >> stephen: let's get back to the spes phis thety of the older -- specificity of the orlando attack. what do you think the proper response is to stop something like this which does not fall under the category of the kind of crimes you were talking about. >> it's important. you will always have your timothy mcveighs, your boston
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massacre bolessings and san bernardino killers. it's throughout the history from jack the ripper to -- >> stephen: this person who had been interviewed twice by the f.b.i. and the f.b.i. has something to answer for for that. if this person interviewed twice by the f.b.i. could still get access to automatic women's. >> because he hadn't broken a law. >> stephen: he wasn't on a no-fly list. >> because the private airlines, they are twuns keeping him off the flight. >> stephen: there is a federal no fly list. people can take people off the plane under their own volition they can't but the feds create the no fly list. >> if i'm the president of jetblue and i say to the federal government i'm going to let anyone on this plane, they can't do anything to me. >> stephen: has any airline done that? >> no. >> stephen: why would you argue it? >> you can't impose on the f.b.i. -- and i don't think you can blame them either, the bureau does a very, very good
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job -- you can't say, look, this terrorist, omar, all right, you had him, you knew mateen was a bad guy, but they didn't have him in the commission of a crime. so what can you do? you can't just detain him, unless congress declares war against the islamic jihad, which i say on my program should happen. >> stephen: i want to talk moosht that in just a moment. back with more bil bill o'reill. (cheers and applause) ♪ if right twix® is going to be over there cascading caramel on cookie all night, we'll be over here flowing caramel on cookie.
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actually, i came up with it at the water cooler. but i thought you'd like this cowboy story better. the portobello mushroom buttery jack is back. ♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. we're back here with bill o'reilly. so before we went on the break, you were talking about this call, we need an all-out war on
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the islamic state. >> yes. >> stephen: what does that mean? >> it means congress should pass a declaration of war against islamic terrorist groups -- al quaida, i.s.i.s., there are four or five of them. >> stephen: are we not at war with al quaida at not. >> we are. >> stephen: doesn't the authorization for military force cover anything we want to do? >> yeah, the president has the authority to do it but if you make a declaration of war it does a number of things, it gives authorities inside the united states far more latitude to detain an omar mateen. >> stephen: you could detain an american citizen -- >> if you're at war, a number of different things, you can detain people. f.d.r. did it with the japanese. i think he made a mistake, but he did it. the war declaration takes the protection of your audience and you and me away from law enforcement and puts it into the military precincts. number two, n.a.t.o. would then
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be mobilized and they would have to join in the fight against these jihadist groups by treaty. >> stephen: after 9/11, this is the largest loss of life in an attack in the united states after 9/11. after 9/11, we went to war in iraq. treated it as a military -- >> that was a mistake. >> stephen: why is this not a mistake? >> we wouldn't be an occupier here. this is a war of attrition against a terror group. it's the same philosophy as the nazis. it's the third reich, it's the same. >> stephen: how does that stop a lone gunman in the united states. >> i told you you can't stop that. >> stephen: why would we then declare war based on this? (applause) >> because then, rather than outsourcing the fight against i.s.i.s. to the kurds, n.a.t.o. would do it, and n.a.t.o. would then destroy command and control of i.s.i.s., all right, and al quaida, destroy it.
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so there would be -- right now, guys like mateen thinks i.s.i.s. is winning because they're on the internet and i.s.i.s. is telling them they're winning and causing all kinds of trouble. once the world sees these people are being annihilated, and i mean annihilated, the whole propaganda, we're winning the jihad, the caliphate, we're going to get this established, vanishes. >> stephen: does it necessarily vanish? because in the muslim world, it is nearly proverbial now that regardless of what happens to enemies -- declared enemies in the united states, they're given pretty good press they're surviving or thriving and the street in muslim countries don't find out. >> television is television and internet is internet and the pictures tell the story. and then the other reason about declaring war is to protect the refugees, the hundreds of thousands of refugees who are now storming into europe and women and children drowning in the me mediterranean sea, once u
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declare war and move in serious n.a.t.o. troops, you can protect those people. >> stephen: and do you have to hold that land? >> no. you don't have to hold the land -- you're not trying to bring democracy to syria. you're trying to annihilate an enemy that needs to be annihilated. >> stephen: who takes over once that's done? >> you work with whoever you feel is trustworthy in the country but we cannot dictate how these countries run themselves particularly in a muslim world because their value system is way different from ours. >> stephen: when is the war over? >> when the level of terrorism goes down, the refugees can return home, and you have a basic handle on the situation. look, we know what the danger is, we know what the cost is, and we know it's been going on far too long. so now it's time for america to step up its power and take care of these s.o.b.s. (applause) >> stephen: we do have to go. i want to ask a couple more
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questions. let's see what we can agree on here. what do you think of donald trump's response so far? >> well, it's a political response. >> stephen: seems fairly self-congratulatory. >> yes, it is. he's a politician. it shouldn't shock you. >> stephen: there are other politicians who would not say, i appreciate the congrats or i called it. that's not political behavior. that's grandstanding. (applause) h>> he's using the issue to boat his popularity. >> stephen: so making terror a tool. >> right. >> stephen: is hillary clinton doing the same thing. >> i hope to get hillary on later in the week. >> stephen: do you think she's doing the same thing? >> here's the difference, trump is bringing a robust i'm going to get these guys attitude to the table.
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mrs. clinton is bringing a more nuanced situation. trump is betting that the country now wants a real avenger. that's what he's betting, all right? mrs. clinton, she's very tied into the obama legacy right now because she needs him to campaign. >> stephen: she might also believe it. >> it's political advantage, if that's what we're talking about, to trump on this one. he has the advantage on this one. he wants to be president so he's going to use it. >> stephen: that is true. thank you. that is true. so let's try to agree on something, are guns a problem here? >> guns are a problem in the hands of criminals and terrorists, but they afford the population a level of self-protection, which is why the founders put it into the constitution. (applause) can i make one more point? >> stephen:. >> stephen: but we won't talk about anything else if you do
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that. >> "legends and lies: the patriots" is what i came to talk about. >> stephen: i have it right here. >> the reason we beat these british oppressors is because everybody had a gun, everybody! and all these red coats were running around and, bang! that's what self-protection brings. all right? >> stephen: i just don't think our situation is comparable to lexington and concord. >> but you have to understand the history and emotion tied into the second amendment. essentially there for self-protection by law abiding people and it won't be overturned. >> stephen: a well regulated militia being necessary to a free state is the end of the sentence. >> won't be overturned. you have to deal with it? i don't think it's going to be overturned. let's not litigate that. >> punish the people who abuse the guns. punish them! >> stephen: but also restrict some guns. you say it's possible. >> yes. >> stephen: so guns. i.s.i.s., you stay we destroy i.s.i.s., you say this kind of problem will never end but what? >> it will go down significantly
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if you cut the head off the snake. >> stephen: is it not a physical thing the problem but the idea of jihad against the united states the problem? >> ideas -- look. >> stephen: how do you kill an idea. >> you don't. there are still nazis running around, there are stil still communists running around wanting to dominate. you take the playing field and destroy the people who are destroying your people. this war! accept it! >> stephen: do you see this as a hate crime that he chose a gay club? >> everything i.s.i.s. does is a hate crime, the whole thing! (applause) >> stephen: he's not a member of i.s.i.s. >> he used the i.s.i.s. ideology to justify killing gays because i.s.i.s. wants to kill gays, just like hitler wanted to kill gays same thing. >> stephen: do you think this is a mental health problem. >> no. >> stephen: his wife said he had a history of domestic abuse, bipolar and on steroids. >> look, that's an excuse. >> stephen: no, she's not
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excusing him, she got away from him. >> this guy is evil. >> stephen:ly accept evil exists. >> he's evil and so is i.s.i.s. >> stephen: what is the proper response to evil? >> destroy it. confront it. you don't contain evil because you can't. you destroy evil, and i.s.i.s. is evil, this mateen is evil, he's dead, now we have to get the rest of them. >> stephen: if you detain evil, can it destroy itself? >> no, unless you're play dough. (laughter) this is life and death. i don't want to see any more dead americans in the streets. we have to put the fear of god in these people and do it soon. >> stephen: bill, thank you so much for being here. bill o'reilly, the series "legends and lies: the patriots," airs sundays on the fox news channel, bill o'reilly, everybody! (cheers and applause) ♪ ♪
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(cheers and applause) ♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! thank you, jon. jon batiste and "stay human," everybody! (cheers and applause) now, as you broadway fans know, last night was the tonys here on cbs. (cheers and applause) it was three hours of watching the world's finest performers pretending not to know "hamilton" would win their category. my congratulations to our friend james corden, who opened with a showstopping, show-starting medley of broadway numbers. if you saw it, corden saved you $18,000 in tickets and several hours of standing in line being groped by a times square elmo. of course, the evening was tinged with sadness, given the attack in orlando, which was addressed beautifully by lin-manuel miranda, who delivered a special acceptance.
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sonnet after winning for best original score. (cheers and applause) >> we chased the melodies that seem to find us until they are finished songs and start to play, when senseless acts of tragedy remind us that nothing here is promised, not one day. the show is proof that history remembers. we live through times when hate and fear seem stronger. we rise and fall and light from dying embers, remembrances that hope and love lasts longer. and love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love cannot be killed or swept aside. i sing it as a symphony. eliza tells her story. now fill the world with music, love and pride. thank you so much for this. >> stephen: thank you, lin. it is beautiful. it's no surprise "hamilton" won pretty much every trophy last night, including the stanley cup. (laughter) (applause)
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it was a brutal game. lin manuel threw a massive body check on jessica lange. (laughter) but i got to talk about the elephant in the "room where it happened": "hamilton" had a great night, 11 awards, which is one shy of the all-time record.o for instance, they didn't win best scenic design. (laughter) what a disappointment to all the people who bought $800 tickets to what they "thought" was the hottest show in town. now they're going to sit down and get a face full of broadway's "second best" scenic design. come on. spoiler alert: revolutionary america was mostly ropes and barrels. (laughter) so if you're one of the suckers who bought "hamilton" tickets in the last few weeks, and now you don't know what to do with those not-best-scenic-design tickets... i will take them off your hands at face value. (cheers and applause) you're welcome.
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don't put yourself through that. speaking of trophies, tonight is game five of the nba finals. the golden state warriors could clinch the championship, though bernie sanders insists he still has a chance. (cheers and applause) now, i don't know who won the game because we tape at 6:00 pm and, more importantly, the game's not on cbs. now, the warriors are up against it tonight because warriors' center draymond green was suspended from tonight's game for dirty play against lebron james. here he is slapping king james right in his little princes. a suspension is pretty harsh, though. usually the refs take it easy on a loose ball foul. (laughter) now a lot of people are saying this is a conspiracy to let cleveland win tonight, so it extends the series.
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okay, but this isn't the first time green's attacked some nba inside stuff. in the conference finals against oklahoma city, he viciously kicked steven adams right in the pick and rolls. draymond, i get it. i know you want to win, but you can do it without passing out free birth control. (laughter) (applause) of course, charles barkley doesn't agree. he defended green's action. >> when a guy steps over you, you have a moral obligation to punch him in the balls. (laughter) (applause) >> stephen: note to self: do not play twister with charles barkley. (laughter) of course, golden state might still have won tonight because
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they have steph curry. he's a phenom. he's the face of the nba, plus he's got those piercing hazel eyes i'm secure enough in my own masculinity to mention. is there anything he can't do? yes. because last week under armor unveiled their new curry signature shoes, and a lot of people are making fun of them for being as bland as they are dull. but i say they need to lay off. steph is a class act and a great player, a friend of this show, and we need to focus on his skills on the court -- nah, i'm sorry, i can't do it. these shoes are just too terrible. (laughter) you know what? i didn't think i was going to go this tonight, but, jimmy, i got to take the gloves off. ♪ (crashing sound) now remember, steph -- this hurts me as much as it hurts you. >> round one!
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(ringing bell) ♪ (cheers and applause) oh, yeah! oh, baby! i love to watch you walk away. all right. here we go. put 'em up! damn steph curry, these shoes look like they are putting themselves through nursing school. (laughter) uh-huh. uh-huh. no, for real, steph -- these new shoes are going to look great next season, so long as the warriors uniforms become khaki pants and a baby bjorn. (laughter) but all joking aside, steph, i can't wait to wear these kicks... how much do i have to donate to npr's pledge drive to get them as a gift? (laughter) steph, honestly, these shoes look like a golf cart had sex with a jar of mayonnaise. (laughter) steph, do you wear these shoes to play for golden state or the
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golden girls? (laughter) steph, these shoes are so bland you should have called them "air josh grobans." (laughter) if you wear them during a game, be careful. if you look down at them during a jump-shot, you will fall asleep in mid-air. (laughter) all right. it's time for the knockout blow. steph curry, these shoes are so lame that i, a 50-year old suburban dad, think they look comfortable, and i could wear them on weekends when i barbecue. in fact, i bought a pair. (cheers and applause) (ringing bell) boom! >> eight... nine... ten... it's a knockout! >> stephen: take that, steph curry! (ringing bell) (cheers and applause) now all you have is your amazing career, your millions of dollars and these suprisingly comfortable shoes.
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i really like 'em! we'll be right back with anna chlumsky! (cheers and applause) ♪ whoo!
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♪ (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! (cheers and applause) any millennial worth their salt knows my next guest. she first rose to fame in the movie "my girl," and now stars in hbo's "veep." >> what do you think of candy caruso to head up nevada for me? >> oh! yeah! >> i hear just excellent things about her. >> harvard law review. right. she and justice tenney, 30 under 30. >> that's right. she's still under 30. she hooks older. but you like her. >> yes. if you want a super smart woman who's young and bill yent,
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then why not. >> yeah, i likely want that. i really do. >> stephen: please welcome anna chlumsky! (cheers and applause) ♪ >> wow! this is so great being on stage with jon batiste and the band because, oh, my gosh! my husband and myself and my daughter are big, big fans! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: and congratulations are in order. your second child is on the way. >> indeed. >> stephen: congratulations. thank you. >> stephen: so it being your second baby -- by the way, is it, like, any minute? should i be boiling water? >> according to science, we still have about two months to go or so. >> stephen: what does science know. >> i don't know. they say it's an art, actually. (laughter)
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>> stephen: so -- i'll go with that. and, so, it being your second baby, you're, like, i know how to do this? or are you still somebody who studies the books and everything? >> no, i'm very -- i'm kind of terrified just because i don't remember a lot of the first -- >> stephen: it's very easy to have a baby. if you don't remember, let me make this easy for you. >> this is easy and it must have been because i'm still alive. >> stephen: was it a natural childbirth or did you go with the drugs and the knives the first time. >> i went with drugs. but i believe no knives. >> stephen: no knives, okay. if the drugs are good enough you don't know that there are knives. >> that's actually true. >> stephen: i'm actually on an i episiotomy right now. >> you on an episiotomy? >> stephen: i've actually had an episiotomy. i'm on an epidural right now. how about that. (applause) thank you. that's why i was not aware of my
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episiotomy. (laughter) >> and still not. >> stephen: exactly, yeah, exactly. (laughter) so do you think those books offer any good -- because i'm luckily the father of three children and we read the hell out of the first books, and then, yeah, whatever. but there were things we got out of the first books. did you glean anything good from it? >> plenty. i like reading the books that tell me not to worry about anything. any of the ones that are, oh, that's normal and just deal with it. >> everything's normal. yeah. >> stephen: that's the one thing we learned when my wife was pregnant. no matter, eighth month, bleeding from my elbows. totally normal, happens all the time. >> yeah. >> stephen: my teeth are growing hair -- oh, yeah yeah,, means it's a boy! (laughter) i have to confess, my deep and abiding love for "veep." >> well, thank you. >> stephen: i just love the show. it's incredible. and seems like one of the things
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is what little i know about washington, d.c., it seems alarmingly heartbreakingly true of what life is like for people who have to live in constant political campaigns. did you go a ride-along or anything? >> well, we did. in the beginning when we did the pilot, we were give an really glamorous tour by laura schuler, barbara boxer's chief of staff, and you know,, yeah, and i think all of us kind of grabbed on to people who had our positions and would just, you know, pump them for information as much as we could that first season. >> stephen: i love your character. amy seems physically uncapable of putting her phone down. >> i got that from laura. >> stephen: oh, really? yes, i noticed the first day she never put it away, never put it in her pocket or anything. i asked laura later, i said, you really hang on to that cell
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phone all day? she says, yes, it's a double-edged sword. it's a leash that lets me get farther away from the office but i'm still connected. so that's really what amy is going through, too. so i have adopted that and not let go of that phone. i even get cramps in my hand from it. >> stephen: wow. i know. it's crazy. >> stephen: well, that's normal in the seventh month. >> yeah (laughter) >> stephen: your husband was in the army reserve for eight years. >> yes. >> stephen: and actually deployed to afghanistan. >> yes. >> stephen: you've written about tex persons of being a military family. >> i have. >> stephen: what's that like for you? you've written about it and what do you think people should know about it that they don't know? >> i'm certain we don't have enough time, but i think it definitely taught us that, you know, being the support system for a soldier or sailor, whomever, serviceman or woman is just -- it takes just as much
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courage and perseverance and patience, you know, as one would think it takes the actual person serving. so it includes everybody. >> stephen: well, thank you for "veep" and your family service. >> thank you. and thank you for your service! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: "veep" airs sundays on hbo. anna chlumsky, everybody! we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) ♪ why am i so devastatingly handsome, i'm in a fragrance..., and my sweethearts gone sayonara. this scarf, all that's left to remember. what! she washed this like a month ago! how's a guy supposed to move on! the long lasting scent of gain flings.
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>> stephen: my next guest has been making music for 20 years and performing on network television for the first time tonight. here with the song, "dorks," here is aesop rock with special guest yo la tengo. >> ♪ if i died in my apartment like a rat in a cage ♪ would the neighbors smell the corpse ♪ before the cat ate my face? i used to floss the albatross ♪ like daddy kane with the chain i'm tryin' to jettison the ♪ ballast with the hazardous waste ♪ the kid is comfortably numb, routine a tedious crutch ♪ steep in a self imposed stockholm and lima in flux ♪ maybe an occupation popular
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with demons and ducks ♪ made any mingling akin to being seasoned and ♪ stuffed it's a theatre of ♪ jumpin' jellyfish, jealous little sycophants ♪ miserable and flimsy from the skippies to the pissy ♪ pants each one separately convinced ♪ they're sketching with da vinci's hands ♪ delusion turned the communication to prison camp ♪ you ( bleep ) dorks ain't a threat to the cause ♪ there ain't a lesson we can learn ♪ from the ostensibly lost i think it's funny when ♪ defendants from identical haunts ♪ step out the tempest a measure of what the spectrum ♪ involves maybe no one cares, ♪ party over here, i'll be over there ♪ don't need no help, all by myself ♪ don't need no help, all by myself ♪ don't need no help, all by myself ♪ don't need no help, all by myself ♪ i used to hang around with rappers ♪ at the root of the scene it meant a lot to feel the ♪ fugitive community breathe maybe to sentimentalize is ♪ to be truly naive i know some ( bleep ) about
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♪ your heroes that you wouldn't believe ♪ i think we're all a bunch of weirdos ♪ on a quest to belong the songs are echolocation up in ♪ impregnable fog that's why it's odd to see ♪ a pile of imperfections and flaws ♪ ascend a pedestal to patronize the rest of the cogs ♪ in a mess of obnoxious fantasy, ♪ posturing and pageantry i ain't even mad, i'm impressed, ♪ ( bleep ) it's baffling god almighty chop an ivory tower ♪ to piano keys play your own dirge ♪ on the way to surfin' maggot beach ♪ you ( bleep ) dorks ain't a source of the art ♪ you can't be cooler than the corner ♪ where you source all your parts ♪ the poker-faced, all it takes a couple sordid ♪ remarks we let the manticore out, ♪ we make the sorcery bark ♪ life is so unfair, party over here, ♪ i'll be over there don't need no help, all by ♪ myself don't need no help, all by ♪ myself don't need no help, all by ♪ myself don't need no help, all by ♪ myself i view the rattling of sabres
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♪ like a show to expose insecurities exploding in ♪ emotional code with braggadocio to go from ♪ mostly jokey to gross corrode a homie til his probity ♪ is notably ghost before the hobby was a jobby ♪ was a miniature hell you would wobble round your ♪ momma like an infant gazelle ♪ the disillusionment has truly been a difficult pill ♪ but you as anything menacing is a difficult sell ♪ in a whistle-and-bellorama, black mollies that dress up like ♪ piranha it's not even compelling ♪ melodrama it's a comedy, ♪ somebody wanna shop you as a saga ♪ i'm very voluntarily persona non grata ♪ you ( bleep ) dorks ain't the leaders we need ♪ this ain't the medium for divas ♪ out to weasel and breed i'm often coffee with the ♪ paupers over tea with the queen ♪ don't make him show the regency ♪ what disobedient means ♪ heavy load to bear, party over here, ♪ i'll be over there ♪ don't need no help, all by myself ♪ don't need no help, all by myself
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♪ don't need no help, all by myself ♪ don't need no help, all by myself (cheers and applause) aesop rock's new album "the impossible kid" is out now. aesop rock and yo la tengo, everybody! we'll be right back schvment (cheers and applause) when josh atkins books at
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he gets a ready for you alert the second his room is ready. so you know what he gives? i'll give you everything i've got and then some. he gives a hundred and ten percent! i'm confident this 10% can boost your market share. feel me lois? i'm feeling you.
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>> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be daniel radcliffe, george lopez, and a musical performance by hinds. now stick around for james corden and his guests, jane fonda and lily tomlin. goodnight! (cheers and applause) ♪ captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh >> reggie: ♪ are you ready to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight ♪ come on baby. ♪ oh yeah. ♪ it's ♪ it's the late, late show


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