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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  November 7, 2019 11:35pm-12:38am PST

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the late show is up next and here are your guests tonight. cbs anchor john dickerson and actor chris parnell. >> our next newscast tom row mornin captioning sponsored by cbs >> g.o.p. pictures presents -- bing, bing, bong, bing -- graham with the wind starring lindsey graham, an epic tale about a man who took a stand! >> if you could show me that, you know, trump was actually engaging in a quid pro quo outside the phone call, that would be very disturbing. >> and then changed that stand -- with the wind! >> i'm not going to read these transcripts! >> see the constitution go up in flames with john bolton! >> nancy pelosi. i don't give a damn.
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and devin nunes. i don't know anything about quid pro quo. >> a spineless scope. i've written the whole process off. i've written him off, i think this is a bunch of best. >> graham with the wind! as god as my witness, i'll never -- >> trust lindsey graham! -- again! ♪ >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight, quid pro quo, plus stephen welcomes john dickerson and musical guest king princess, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) >> stephen: whoo!
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hello, friends! hey, everybody! welcome one and all, down here, up there, out there, to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) you know, i've been pretty hard on the trump administration, but i'm a sucker for a love story, and we just found out that enior white house policy adviser, and man who betrays the crew in every space movie, stephen miller, is getting married. ( cheers and applause ) wow. love is truly blind. ( laughter ) i'd like to congratulate the happy? couple. if you want to get them a gift, they're registered at... and it just says, "snakes." ( laughter ) i don't know what that means. i don't know what that is.
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>> jon: snakes, okay. >> stephen: all right. stephen miller might be the only one who's happy at the white house right now. i'll catch you up on the latest in tonight's installment of "don and the giant impeach." ( cheering ) >> the biggest lie ever foistered upon the american people. >> stephen: the big news today is that it looks like the house could wrap up impeachment by christmas. ( audience reacts ) ( cheering ) well, if that's true, then i agree with trump on one thing: >> we're saying merry christmas again. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: merry christmas, jon. >> jon: merry christmas. happy new year. >> stephen: happy new year to you, too. ever since trump released the transcript of his "perfect phone call," he's been looking for someone to help convince us that it doesn't say what it says. enter attorney general and man just realizing he didn't get invited on the hunting trip, bill barr.
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last night, we learned that after the ukraine scandal broke, trump asked barr to hold a news conference stating that no laws were broken in his call with ukraine's president. mr. barr declined. bill barr refused to publicly defend the president? something is seriously wrong. that's like nicholas cage turning down a movie role. ( laughter ) this isn't the first time that barr has distanced himself from this scandal. we know from the rough transcript that on trump's call with the ukrainian president, trump offered zelensky the services of barr to aid the investigations of biden and his son, but after the transcript was released, a barr spokeswoman said that barr and trump had never discussed that. you know trump didn't like that. (as trump) "come on, billy, you can't throw me under the bus. first of all, i'm hard to throw. ( laughter ) there's nowhere to grip, and i'm greased up like a prize hog."
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( laughter ) of course, there's only one way to make sure a story about trump is true, and that's if he rage-tweets his denial: "bill barr did not decline my request to talk about ukraine. the story was a fake 'washington post' con job with an 'anonymous' source that doesn't exist. just read the transcript. the justice department already ruled that the call was good. we don't have freedom of the press!" i'm not sure what to make of that last sentence. is that a complaint? or an executive order? (as trump) "we don't have freedom of the press! write that down. ( laughter ) while we're at it, we're also getting rid of that one where we can't covet other people's wives. ( laughter ) have you seen that chick jared's with? exactly my type." >> jon: oh! whoa! ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause )
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>> stephen: based on a true story. ( laughter ) trump tweeted on, "years ago, when media was legitimate, people known as 'fact checkers' would always call to check and see if a story was accurate. nowadays, they don't use 'fact checkers' anymore, they just write whatever they want!" hm, no one uses fact checkers anymore. a bold claim. i wonder if it's true. fact checkers? >> yeah. it's true. laugh all right, that checks out. trump held another maga-kag rally last night, this time in louisiana, to support republican gubernatorial challenger eddie rispone, who's trying to take down democratic incumbent... i'm going to say, clone of eddie rispone? ( laughter ) whoever trump was there to support, he made sure to play to the crowd. >> so is there anyplace you
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would rather be than at a trump rally, on a beautiful, wonderful evening in louisiana? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: let's see, places i'd rather be than a trump rally? the d.m.v., the dentist, someone else's child's clarinet recital, a soviet gulag, covered in honey and staked to an anthill, sliding down a 50-foot razor blade into a bathtub of gin, and in a conversation with someone who knows a lot about bitcoin. the president couldn't go home -- ( cheers and applause ) go on! ( piano riff ) the president couldn't go home without reminding everyone of how many people voted for him in 2016. >> don't forget, in 2016, people came from the mountains and the valleys and the rivers and the oceans. they came from all over? the democrats said, what the hell is happening? where are these people coming from?
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>> stephen: (as trump) "yes, all my biggest supporters were rising from the oceans: the kraken, godzilla, the little mermaid, bo derek, that fish guy who won the oscar for sex." "he did, right? i didn't see it. i just saw -- bad sex ." ( laughter ) then trump had several guests, including louisiana senator and not that john kennedy, john kennedy, who said this about donald trump: >> speaker nancy pelosi is trying to impeach him. (boos) i don't mean any disrespect, but it must suck to be that dumb. >> stephen: shhh, he's standing right next to you! ( laughter )
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what are you doing? ( cheers and applause ) i don't understand, jon! >> jon: he was talking about him. he was right there! >> stephen: trump's other big guests last night were the guys from "duck dynasty:" >> thank you, fellas. two great guys. they were with me right at the beginning. i said who are they, they said they are two big television stars. i said, wow, and i started watching a little bit. a lot of wisdom there. ( laughter ) >> stephen: yeah, "duck dynasty" is loaded with wisdom like this: >> i'm like aretha franklin. i don't get no r-s-p-e-c-t around this joint. >> stephen: wow. i don't know how i'd describe that level of wisdom. >> it must suck to be that dumb. ( laughter ) >> stephen: okay, thank you, senator. thank you. ( cheers and applause ) where's that bit coin thing? ( piano riff )
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>> stephen: trump's been having a tough week, but he may have something to look forward to because trump and "apprentice" creator mark burnett are discussing their next tv show for after the trump presidency. wait, there's an "after the trump presidency?" ( laughter ) hold on one second -- "note to self: live." ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) the radical new idea they're floating is tentatively titled "the apprentice: white house." i'm excited to see those challenges. (as trump) "all right, whoopi, brett michaels, meatloaf-- your first challenge: abandon the kurds." ( audience reacts ) >> jon: whoa! there's a line. there's a line.
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>> stephen: it's on all kurdish audience tonight. poor planning. ( piano riff ) even though he's been off "the apprentice" for a few years, he hasn't lost his love of firing people. according to a new study, trump has the biggest staff turnover of any recent president. he has lost 41% of the cabinet secretaries, deputy secretaries and undersecretaries appointed in his first year in office. explains the signs they have on the front of the white house: "come in, we're hiring!" and "get out, we're firing!" ( laughter ) with all this staff turnover, according to someone close to the president, trump feels isolated and has complained that he has no one in whom he can confide. oh, no, i don't think i'm ready for emo trump. ( laughter ) ( applause ) it looks good, actually. he actually looks really good. early on, there were staff members around trump who not only tried to temper his worst instincts, they were worried he
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was spending too much time indoors sulking. as one person said, "you've got to get him out of the white house!" i couldn't agree more. ( cheers and applause ) oh, okay. >> jon: they want him out, all the way. >> stephen: the staff suggested taking the president to dinner at the peking gourmet inn, as a therapeutic diversion. it didn't work. a homebody by nature, trump said no. probably for the best. you don't want to take donald trump to a chinese restaurant. he's going to slap tariffs on the waiter, and do his president xi impersonation. >> here is xi. (crazy "huh" noise) ( laughter ) >> stephen: check, please. one former white house official explains, "a lot of times when he's venting, a tweet-storm, it's often because he feels, 'no one is helping me on this, so i have to pound my chest and do it.'" yeah, he pounds his chest like a
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gorilla. the king of the jungle. and then lindsey graham eats bugs out of his hair. ( laughter ) >> jon: whoa, whoa, whoa! mobley! >> stephen: all of this tweeting has some people worried. as another former official put it, "he was never completely hinged. the trip from where he was to unhinged, as he is now, that was not a long trip." ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> jon: he just had to walk around, uh-huh. >> stephen: let me get it straight -- so we've got a man, all alone in a big house, typing nonsense and slowing going insane. oh, sounds like that new sequel to "the shining," "the whining." (as trump) "heeeeeere's donny!" i think we know who the spooky twins would be. ( cheers and applause ) (as eric) "come play with us.
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forever and ever. wow, there's a lot of blood in this elevator." ( laughter ) i believe we've got some exclusive footage inside the white house: >> redrebmah! redrebmah! redrebmah! redrebmah! >> stop it, stop it! ( scream ) ( laughter ) >> stephen: today, we got news of one former trump official bursting back onto the scene: former attorney general and in-house counsel to the lollipop guild, jeff sessions. you may remember sessions from trump humiliating him non-stop for two years. well, now sessions is back-- he plans to run to reclaim his former alabama senate seat. and his former alabama booster seat. ( laughter ) but over the last week, trump has sent word to sessions that he would publicly attack him if he ran. and last weekend, trump
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repeatedly denounced sessions, saying he was a "jerk." but sessions is jumping in anyway, and it's going to be quite a race, because one of his republican primary opponents will be former senate candidate and rootin' tootinest teen-molestingest in the whole dang mall, roy moore. "huh, jeff sessions, or roy moore, so many choices! you know, i'm going to go ahead and write in 'pennywise.'" ( laughter ) there you go, put that in the curtain like that. i don't know where i've gone. ( laughter ) with long odds and the president promising to publicly attack him, what could jeff sessions be thinking? joining us now to tell us is the man himself, former attorney general jeff sessions. (as cookie) ( laughter ) "thank you, stephen.
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i'm coming apart! huh-oh, huh-oh, i'm coming apart at the seams. let me get a fresh version of me! there you go! here we go! this one is broken, too. is there another one? those are the only two we had. hold on, i'll be right back! ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) we had, like, eight for rehearsal! but we had a lot more of these cookies in rehearsal. we have a great show for you tonight. john dickerson is here. but when we return, "meanwhile!"! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) (paul) it's that special time of year again. (sprintern) it's iphone season at sprint.
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: jon batiste and "stay human" right there! ( cheers and applause ) oh, johnny, johnny -- you know what we're excited about? one of my dearest friends john dickerson is going to be here in a minute right over there from "60 minutes" and the news. he brings wisdom and a boyish charge at the same time. >> jon: like "duck dynasty," you know. >> stephen: very much like "duck dynasty." ( laughter ) you know, every night i stand over there and hand-tailor the day's big stories into the bespoke, red carpet-ready couture gown that is my monologue. but sometimes, i like to gather up the smaller stories, the leftover felt clippings, a little tinsel, whatever mismatched buttons are in the junk drawer, maybe some rick rack and a hot glue gun, and whip it all together into the deranged potato sack dress of
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news that is my segment: >> meanwhile! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: right there. my only friend. meanwhile -- ( laughter ) -- "russian startup promobot is now selling autonomous androids, and buyers can choose to make the robots look like any person on earth." from any time period! imagine! all the inspirational historical figures and brilliant philosophers who... somebody's going to have sex with now. ( laughter ) promobot spokesperson aleksei iuzhakov made this pitch. (as russian) "everyone will now be able to order a robot with any appearance for professional or personal use. imagine a replica of michael jordan selling basketball uniforms."
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pitching michael jordan in 2019 is a very russian idea of what americans are into. (russian accent) "imagine walter disney personal welcome you to real life titanic extravaganza. who want to have sex with iceberg?" ( laughter ) they even released this photo of a sample of their work. nice! perfect for customers who've always wanted to meet hobo tobey mcguire. ( laughter ) and have sex with him. meanwhile, in snack news, coca-cola has released two new holiday sodas, winter spiced cranberry sprite and a cinnamon coke. and i'm sure they'll outsell their closest competitor: gravy fanta. ( laughter ) mmm! mmm! mmm! meanwhile, on tuesday, two students at two different
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universities sank half-court shots and won free tuition for a year. here's one at oklahoma. (cheers and applause) boom! and here's another one at university of nevada. goes the dynamite! (cheers and applause) congratulations to those kids. because a half-time marketing stunt is now your best hope of not being crushed by student debt. ( laughter ) i hear you can get a full ride at penn state if you defeat a bear. ( laughter ) meanwhile, a new report says the e-cigarette company juul disregarded early evidence that it was hooking teens." well, that's the last time i trust a mango-flavored breathable poison stick that i have to plug into a computer. ( laughter ) we'll be right back with john dickerson. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) oh! oh! oh! ♪ ozempic®! ♪ (announcer) people with type 2 diabetes are excited about the potential of once-weekly ozempic®. in a study with ozempic®, a majority of adults
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back! ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight has been reporting on washington since 1995, and nobody's better at making sense of it. please welcome john dickerson! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: first of all, how's "60 minutes"? >> it's great. it is great. the reputation they have, turns out for a reason. >> stephen: yeah? yeah. >> stephen: it's news people still watch. >> yeah, and everything polished and polished and polished at every level. it's great. >> stephen: well, we have big news to break to this audience, at least, because it broke while they were seated here. this just broke, michael
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bloomberg is expected to file to get on to democratic ballot in alabama's presidential primary. why now? >> by the way, you only heard one "woo." a single "woo" candidate. >> stephen: in new york. exactly, in new york, which we can talk about that in a moment. i called two people about this. one person said he's running -- people close to myelbloomberg -- another said he's putting on his running shoes. he's done polling. he's thought about it before. he was ready to go and decide there were too many hoops in democratic politics to jump through that he wasn't naturally associated with. he's not a died in the wool democrat, which is why you on oy got one woo. >> stephen: he's been a democrat, republican and independent. >> exactly. but they looked at the polls and the concern is the party's gone too far to the left.
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the thinking is there's room for only one moderate, and p moderate in the race right now, which is to say joe biden, isn't getting the job done, so mike bloomberg thinks there's a place for him. >> stephen: i heard he wasn't going to run because biden was getting traction. >> right. >> stephen: this just cuts him off at the legs, if people believe bloomberg's right. >> right, exactly. even if people don't agree with what bloomberg is doing, it raises the question, in other words, joe biden is so weakened another person has to come in to rescue the moderate message in the race. >> stephen: isn't mayor pete ready to step in for joe biden? because mayor pete and amy klobuchar wants to run in that lane. >> peete says i have been an executive and in combat, so in other words, i've faced a little bit of the testing that some people believe you need to face before you go into this big and
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important job. bloomberg would argue i have been a c.e.o. and a mayor, so that would be his argument, so, yes, mayor pete would be the kind of understudy to biden in the moderate lane, if i can mix my acting and my -- >> stephen: sure, go ahead, sure. what about warren because warren is leading in some recent polls. she was leading in iowa significantly. she's doing well in new hampshire. what does this mean to warren if bloomberg jumps in, because a lot of billionaires are not happy about her -- i wonder why. >> yes, exactly. exactly. ( laughter ) well, i think it's a good sign for warren in the sense that bloomberg is concerned the party is going that direction, and he wouldn't be concerned if she weren't doing well. the party is having this big, open debate and mike bloomberg decides he wants to get in the middle of it. >> stephen: there are only, according to "fortune magazine," 607 billionaires in the world. what wye do we care what they
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think? because there is a lot more of us, and they've got too much money. give your money to people who need it, and collective distribution of your wealth is not anti-american, it's as american as eisenhower. >> well, and by the way, of those number of billionaires, there probably aren't many in iowa and new hampshire. >> stephen: why is it a bad idea to attack billionaires? >> i don't think in the democratic party it's a bad idea at all. that's why elizabeth warren is doing well. ( applause ) her argument is, look, capitalism has come to a problem, and it needs some management, as she would argue has always been the case with capitalism in america. it has not just been the unfettered market. so it needs some intelligent management because we have these disparit that is her case and she uses them as
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the case in saying look how the system has been tilted so much to that very, very small number of people. >> stephen: now, we just heard in my monologue that donald trump is talking with mark burnet about his job after the presidency, th "the apprentice"e white house is one possibility. if trump ever leaves the white house, what is that job going to be like for the next person? because you wrote a cover article for "the atlantic," i know you're working on a book about this, about the presidency, what do you call it, the hardest job -- >> the hardest job in the world. in campaigns, the candidates are talking about bick big, huge issues, medicare for all, these large, enormous issues. let's imagine a democrat gets elected, donald trump doesn't get reelected -- ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hold on. got to let it breathe.
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>> i have bad timing in that way. the country, if that's the scenario, the country will have decided there needs to be a restoration of the norms and practices of the presidency, there also will have been a very ugly fight between now and that election because we've already seen it, it's going to get ugly are, and the country would have been through the three years of unpredictability and being on tiptoe. the country may not be ready for big grand plans, like a big change of the american healthcare system, and there's going to be a lot of restoration work to do, most of it overseas, a lot of it's going to be in secret covert stuff we don't even know about. so candidates make the plans and then they come into the job and it is wildly different than they think and, i should finally add, that after a scorched campaign like what looks like we'll have, how easy will congress be to deal with? a lot of democrats won't want two work with a democratic president, so getting legislation through even with
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the reconciliation process will be very difficult. so expectations for a democratic whirlwind in the first 100 days should probably be lowered a bit. >> stephen: well, we have to take a little bit of a break. don't go away. back with more of mr. john dickerson from "60 minutes"! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) you wouldn't do only half of your daily routine so why treat your mouth any differently? listerine® completes the job by preventing plaque, early gum disease, and killing up to 99.9% of germs. try listerine®. need stocking stuffers? try listerine® ready! tabs™. [ "turn around, look at me" n♪ there is someone rs? ♪ walking behind you ♪ turn around
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back!
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look at that, you're getting a standing ovation! john dickerson! america's sweetheart, john dickerson is here! ( cheers and applause ) what are republican senators you spoke to saying behind closed doors, if you had a chance to, about the prospect of sitting for the impeachment trial in the senate? because it really does look like there's going to be an impeachment in the house. >> i was smiling only because all politics is local. one of the first things they're all coming to tbrips with if there is a trial is, in a trial, they can't have their phones with them, they can't pass the time by whatever one would do on a phone and they can't talk with each other. so it's like being back in third grade, you have to stare straight ahead, pay careful attention, and their first thought is about the actual process of going through the trial. what are they thinking about politically? well, they're thinking about a highly improvisational president
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responding to these daily pieces of news, and they will have to sit in judgment, but also -- >> stephen: but they won't know what his tweets are while it's going on until they leave the room. >> right. >> stephen: so it will be a full day of trial and they won't know what the president thinks. >> yet they are not unfamiliar with not knowing what the president thinks. >> stephen: even when you hear what he says. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> but it's -- and if you think about one of the things that's extraordinary is we're about a month into this, and there is still not a single line about what the president did or didn't do with respect to ukraine. >> stephen: you've asked this question several times on twitter that i really like. phrase this, like break down the question for us. >> well, i think for me the main question is, is it that the president did not try to get ukraine to investigate joe biden? is that it? that it didn't happen at all? or is it that he tried to do it, and it failed, and that that's okay? so it's either he didn't do it at all, or he did and it's okay. but there are -- you're getting
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two different things. the president is saying he didn't do it at all, that wasn't his intent. and the "wall street journal" says it's self serving but not worth impeaching him over. but seems like there's no single line. seems, after a month, there should be one answer. >> stephen: or lind lindsey gra' response, i don't how to read. ( laughter ) >> here's the problem, if you say yes the president did what's alleged but it's not impeachable, what you seem to be signing up for, is well, the president said he didn't do it, so the president, if you buy this line of thinking, then the president lied to the public, to senators and to american ambassadors. so then you have to say, well, doing that is wrong but not impeachable. then you have to think of all the things that were done in at the fence of the president which includes besmirching the reputation of those people who have now been proved right, you have to say well that was wrong but not impeachable. so you're signing up for a lot if you say the actual conduct of the president was wrong but not
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impeachable, and i don't know if those who hold the wrong but not impeachable position understand the basket of goods that they're signing on to if that's what they decide to do. >> stephen: all they have to do is be okay with the president having lied, and after 11,000 lies, that's just a needle in a crap stack. >> well, in this case, what you have, the question at issue here is whether the president warped the u.s. foreign policy for personal goals. it's okay for the president to use state craft but he has to use it for the state but not for himself. that is a bigger and more monumental thing than the crowd size at his inauguration. secondarily, you have this other thing which is, once the president initiated -- and i'm not saying this has been proved, i'm saying, if you go down this road, once the president initiates player, the system takes it over, so ambassadors are launched, other ambassadors brought back, people defend the president, there are lots and lots of ripples. then the president created the
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irregular channel by bill taylor, that's going around regular policy. >> stephen: rudy giuliani. yes, and are people okay with created ago new conduit for u.s. foreign policy? they might be. what's the purpose? is it okay for the president's political gain, those are more serious questions than things that would have been marked down as lies in the past, i think. >> stephen: experts say this could be wrapped up by christmas. you're an expert. do you think we have impeachment underneath the christmas tree on december 25th? >> i don't know, that would be about three weeks because they're going to take a week off for thanksgiving, so that would be very fast. look, they have the majority in the house, they could do this as fast as they'd like. the question is what's the goal? do they want something to go airtight in the senate, or are they trying to do something to
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have a message point about the president? it depends on the goal. that would be quite fast if they do that. another argument you could make, is well, it's that fast because they have a pretty clear narrative and their witnesses are career foreign service officers, lieutenant colonels in the army who tend to be more credible than your typical partisan hack which is what most of our debates are occupied by. >> stephen: some are called to testify and they're just not showing up like bolton. supposed to testify today, but didn't show up. but he's indicated that he's willing to, if they take him to court to show up. >> right, and if they take him to court, he might show "the washington post" has a piece close to bolton that say he will show up. >> stephen: schiff says we'll just write that down as another form of obstruction by not showing up. >> schiff doesn't want to spend time in court. >> stephen: it's a briar
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patch. >> yes, and it hurts them with the driver's license. but if bolton talks it's another fact witness. he reported what rudy giuliani was doing, called it a drug deal or something. >> stephen: and that giuliani is a hand grenade. >> so that's not good. >> stephen: yeah. and no one can find the pin. ( laughter ) >> but we don't know, but once you have all these separate characters saying a version of the same thing without having coordinated their stories, it tends to, in traditional american politics, it tends to strengthen the story, and, so, he would be another person. also, he was there while the policy was being made or unmade, as the case may be. >> stephen: last question, how goes the republic? >> fine. we're fine. we're fine. we are a durable -- >> stephen: that's good to hear. >> we are a durable country, and we have been through a whole lot worse, and we have good people in this country, present company excluded. ( laughter ) >> stephen: john, thank you so much.
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you can see him on "60 minutes" right here on cbs. john dickerson, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) hi, sounds like we're hosting this weekend. it's not a problem at all. ♪ your mom's off gluten now. is she? ♪ uh, i forgot the... ♪ i got you. ♪ only roomba i7+ uses two multi-surface rubber brushes. ♪
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>> stephen: making her u.s. television debut with "hit the back" from her album, "cheap >> stephen: making her u.s. television debut with "hit the back" from her album, "cheap queen," please welcome king princess! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ i need you to search my clothing ♪ pat me down and feel the molding ♪ 'cause underneath this table feels so good to me ♪ and i need you to be my motor ♪ and run me 'til i can't go further ♪ 'cause every turn you take is just exciting me ♪ and ain't i the best you had? ♪ and i'll let you throw it down hit the back ♪ tell me i need respect
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and you know that ♪ i'm around i'm your pet ♪ ain't i the best you had? ♪ the best you had the best you had ♪ and i'll let you throw it down hit the back ♪ tell me you need respect 'cause you know that ♪ i'm around i'm your pet ♪ well, i'm a star but you're an icon ♪ a dirty girl with lots of passion ♪ staring at my fingers while i talk to you ♪ and i don't care if you degrade me ♪ 'cause after all you are my safety ♪ and everything you touch just feels like yours to me ♪ and ain't i
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the best you had? ♪ the best you had the best you had ♪ 'cause i'll let you throw it down, hit the back ♪ tell me you need respect 'cause you know that i'm around ♪ i'm your pet ain't i the best you had? ♪ the best you had the best you had ♪ it's really been nice to meet ya, babe ♪ the best you had the best you had ♪ i think that i really need ya, baby ♪ the best you had the best you had ♪ i think that i really need ya, baby ♪ the best you had the best you had ♪ ain't i the best you had? ♪ the best you had the best you had ♪ and i'll let you throw it down hit the back ♪ tell me you need respect
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'cause you know that ♪ i'm around i'm your pet ♪ and ain't i the best you had? the best you've had ♪ the best you've had ain't i the best you had? ♪ the best you've had the best you've had ♪ ain't i the best you had? the best you've had ♪ the best you've had ♪ ain't i the best you had? the best you've had ♪ the best you've had ♪ ain't i the best you had? the best you've had ♪ the best you've had ♪ ain't i the best you had? the best you've had ♪ the best you've had
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♪ ain't i the best you had? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: king princess, everybody! we'll be right back.
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>> stephen: well, that's it for "the late show," everybody. now stick around for james corden. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ ♪

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