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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  November 11, 2019 11:35pm-12:38am PST

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>> our next newscast tomorrow morning at 4:30. have a good night. >> good night. captioning sponsored by cbs >> donald trump to blame rick perry for his ukraine call. of course, once again, not backed up by any facts. he's just desperately throwing anybody under the bus that he can. ♪ ♪ ( laughter ) ♪ ♪ ( applause ) ( laughter ) ♪ ♪ ( laughter )
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( car horn ) >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert. tonight, checks and unbalanced. plus, stephen welcomes will smith and andrew scott featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: oh, my goodness! hey, everybody, thank you so much. welcome to "the late show."
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i am your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) ladies and gentlemen, things aren't going well for donald trump today. half of congress absolutely hates him, and the democrats aren't fond of him, either. ( laughter ) i'll tell you all about it in tonight's "don and the giant impeach." ( cheers and applause ) >> i don't like to be the sucker. >> stephen: now, a lot of people have been saying up to this point, people have been musing publicly, "when is the constitutional crisis coming?" well, mark your calendar, tattoo it on your forehead, and flip off your boss, because it's here. ( laughter ) this afternoon, the white house delivered on their previous obstruction of justice with an official letter telling the house of representatives that trump will not cooperate with their impeachment inquiry. yes, trump-- ( booing ) don't get him wrong. don't get him wrong. trump would like to help with their inquiry into his conversation with ukraine but,
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tragically, he has developed phone spurs. ( laughter ) the white house-- ( cheers and applause ) the white house-- got there. the white house made the announcement in an officially bitchy eight-page letter to congress, writing, "given that your inquiry lacks any legitimate constitutional foundation, any pretense of fairness, or even the most elementary due process protections, the executive branch cannot be expected to participate in it." wait, wait, wait, wait. ( booing ) you can't just not participate in your own impeachment. ( as judge ) "sir, you are charged with assault and battery. how do you plead?" ( as defendant ) "um... pass? ( laughter ) can i, can i buy a vowel? i would like to..." now, the letter is full of absolutely bonkers arguments, telling the democratic leadership, "you have denied the president the right to cross-
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examine witnesses." the witness is trump's incriminating phone transcript, which he released. if he wanted to, he could cross- examine himself. ( as trump ) "where was i on the night of the phone call? "i was on the phone!" "aha! "well, let me ask you this: if that's the case, did you get any dirt on joe biden?" ( laughter ) ( applause ) now, the letter-- same letter-- ( cheers and applause ) the letter whines on, "the president cannot allow your constitutionally illegitimate proceedings to distract him and those in the executive branch from their work on behalf of the american people. the president has a country to lead." yes. and it's ukraine. ( laughter ) he's leading them straight into putin's arms. ( applause ) come to papa. now, this letter came to the house, just hours after the
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house was all set to hear testimony from ambassador to the european union, gordon sondland, seen here realizing, "i'm going to jail for that guy?" ( laughter ) house democrats want to ask sondland about a series of texts he sent to the former ambassador to ukraine, which revealed that trump put pressure on the ukrainians to investigate joe biden. but sondland's lawyers learned the administration wouldn't let the ambassador testify, after the state department left a voice mail last night at 12:30 a.m. first off, state department, just text. ( laughter ) nobody wants to listen to voice mail. also, people who calls that late only want one thing. "hi. ( laughter ) hey, gordon, yeah, hey, it's me. it's me, under secretary for trade negotiations. i was just calling because i was thinking how much i want you... not to testify tomorrow. ( laughter )
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gordon. gordon. what are you not wearing?" ( laughter ) now, according to house intelligence chairman adam schiff, sondland's testimony is not the only thing the white house is blocking. >> we are also aware that the ambassador has text messages or emails on a personal device. the state department is withholding those messages as well. the failure to produce these documents, we consider yet additional strong evidence of obstruction of the constitutional functions of congress. >> stephen: and obstruction of an impeachment inquiry is itself grounds for impeachment. this whole thing is like that m.c. escher print "hands cuffing themselves." ( applause ) but trump, trump-- ( cheers and applause ) they love escher jokes. ( piano riff ) they love...
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but trump insists that he has nothing wrong, has nothing to hide, tweeting, "i would love to send ambassador sondland, a really good man and great american, to testify. but unfortunately, he would be testifying before a totally compromised kangaroo court." um, first, you know this is congress and not a court, right? second, you also know there are no actual kangaroos. there's no koala bailiff, no dingo judge, the gavel's not a boomerang, and the jury is not all crocodiles dundee. ( laughter ) i ask-- i ask because the whole kangaroo metaphor, this theme has been popular among republicans. take florida representative and star of "frat baby" matt gaetz. ( laughter ) >> what we see in this impeachment is a kangaroo court, and chairman schiff is acting like a malicious captain kangaroo. >> stephen: ( as gaetz ) "chairman schiff is acting like
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a malicious captain kangaroo. trump's being railroaded by the terrifying thomas the tank engine. ( laughter ) this whole thing is a load of howdy doody, and it's brought to you by the letters 'f' and 'u.'" ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) congress-- no, i'm mad! no, i'm still in character as matt gaetz! ( piano riff ) >> jon: put it down! >> stephen: congress still wants to hear from the original whistleblower who started this whole thing. and they're taking every precaution. in fact, house democrats are considering masking the identity of the whistleblower from trump's g.o.p. allies in congress. hold on-- the whistleblower is defending democracy and gets to wear a mask. is it this guy? ( cheers and applause ) the democrats-- thank you, cap! i don't know who it is. i don't know who it is. the democrats are also considering having the
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whistleblower alter his voice, possibly with modification technology. "possibly with modification technology." what other way would they possibly do it? ( cheers and applause ) ( high pitched voice ) "president trump has betrayed our nation's core ideals and turned his back on all that we stand for! he must be removed from office before democracy erodes beneath our feet. i say this not just as a patriot, but as a member of the ♪ lollipop guild the lollipop guild ♪ the lollipop guild ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) i represent the ♪ inspector general and we'd like to go ♪ and drag your ass to jail now-- ( cheers and applause ) oh, that's good. that's a high. that's a high. >> jon: get it all in. get it in. >> stephen: ♪ loving you is easy 'cause ♪ you're beautiful thank you.
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( cheers and applause ) let's turn now to trump's recent phone call with turkish president erdogan, in which trump sold out our kurdish allies. a national security council official with direct knowledge of the call says trump got rolled. well, that's not hard. just get him to the top of any hill and give him a gentle shove. ( laughter ) >> jon: oh my goodness. >> stephen: the official also argued that abandoning the kurds sets a dangerous precedent, and hurts american foreign policy in the long term, saying, "we are telling the world we will use you and then throw you away." which, coincidentally, were also trump's wedding vows. ( laughter ) now, trump fired back-- ( applause ) based on a true story. that joke is based on a true story. trump fired back at his critics on twitter, "we may be in the process of leaving syria, but in
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no way have we abandoned the kurds, who are special people and wonderful fighters." doesn't being "in the process of leaving" mean the same thing as "abandoning?" that's like a father saying, "i'm not abandoning you kids. i'm just in the process of leaving for a pack of cigarettes and never coming back. ( laughter ) you'll be fine. you're wonderful fighters." ( laughter ) but he-- ( applause ) all right. but the president tweeted on, "likewise, our relationship with turkey, a nato and trading partner, has been very good. turkey already has a large kurdish population and fully, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, understands that while we only had 50 soldiers remaining in that section of syria, and they have been removed, any unforced or
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unnecessary fighting by turkey will be devastating to their economy and to their very fragile currency. we are helping the kurds financially/weapons!" ( laughter ) ( as trump ) "hey, kurds, i'd like to help you financially: weapons! let me give you a few bucks: guns! and a little pocket change: bullets! i'll throw in some coupons: nunchucks!" ( laughter ) trump also-- ( cheers and applause ) trump also wanted to remind everyone that turkey is our friend, tweeting, "so many people conveniently forget that turkey is a big trading partner of the united states. also remember, and importantly, that turkey is an important member in good standing of nato. he is coming to the u.s. as my guest on november 13."
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"he?" ( laughter ) what the hell? that's confusing. is the "he" turkish president erdogan? so does that mean trump calls other world leaders by their country's name? ( as trump ) "we are america. we are pleased to meet you turkey, france, ( bleep )-hole." ( laughter ) now, trump's decision-- trump's decision to abandon the kurds has upset even some of his most loyal supporters, like televangelist and discount halloween decoration, pat robertson. ( laughter ) robertson was on the "700 club" and he said this: >> i am absolutely appalled that the united states is going to betray those democratic forces in northern syria, that we possibly are going to allow the turks to come in against the kurds. the president of the united states is in danger of losing the mandate of heaven if he permits this to happen.
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>> stephen: what the huh? ( laughter ) "the mandate of heaven." i wonder if he really has lost the mandate of heaven. let's ask the main man of heaven himself. god, everybody. god, thank you so much for joining us tonight. >> hey, stephen! ( cheers and applause ) hello, all of you made in my image. looking good! >> stephen: hey, lord, it's been a while. >> yeah, sorry, i've been busy. i'm a consulting producer on "god friended me," sundays at 8:00, 7:00 central. only cbs. ( laughter ) >> stephen: yeah, i, i hear good things. >> it's a good show. >> stephen: but did you hear that statement from pat robertson claiming that trump is in danger of losing the mandate of heaven? >> oh, he is. i'm seriously considering not voting for him this time. >> stephen: wait, what? you voted for trump? >> yeah, i'm his core demographic: angry, old white man living in a gated community. ( laughter ) also, he's been really good for my 401(k) ( applause ) >> stephen: well, why would you be turning on him? >> i don't think he's fit to be commander in chief.
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last night during his bedtime prayers he asked for dirt on joe biden. no dice. yeah, no way. this time i'm voting for andrew yang. i really need that $1,000. ♪ that's the sound of the lord voting for the yang ♪ gang >> stephen: god, everybody. we've got a great show for you tonight. will smith is here-- that's right, will smith will join us. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ (man sneezes) what's the time? device: a dime is ten cents. severe cold or flu? take control with theraflu. powerful, soothing relief to defeat your worst cold and flu symptoms fast. device: (sneezes) theraflu. the power is in your hands.
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♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: straight in, everybody, straight in.
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hey, everybody! welcome back! ladies and gentlemen, you know my first guest tonight from "independence day," "men in black," "ali," and "aladdin." his new film is "gemini man." please welcome back to the show, will smith! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ( applause ) ♪ ♪ >> hey! hey! ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: woooo! woooo! woooo! wooo! woooo!
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woooo! ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) >> stephen: nice! >> that was fun! >> stephen: good to see you. ( cheers and applause ) >> did i-- did i win? did i win? did i win? >> stephen: you did! you did! i don't like somebody to be out- loved by my audience. i'm a needy man. you don't get this job without being needy, will smith. you come into my house, and they love you more than me? >> you know, i was just backstage, you know, jealous you were getting all the love. i said, i need some of that on my face when i go out there. >> stephen: thank you for being here. you're a busy man. >> i know, i'm doing a lot. >> stephen: besides, well, the premiere of "gemini man" is this weekend. >> yeah, absolutely. >> stephen: but you also-- and this, i love this. you were down in atlanta. >> oh, yeah! down in hot-lanta. >> stephen: for-- hot-lanta. tyler perry has created his own
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studio. >> his own studio. >> stephen: on 330 acres just outside of atlanta. >> yes, absolutely, yeah. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: people are calling it-- people are calling it "black hollywood." >> yeah, black hollywood! yeah! already? he better make some movies out of there to pay for it. ( laughter ) >> stephen: and one of the great things i found out is, there are, like, 12 sound studios there. >> yeah, it was spectacular. >> stephen: i mean film studios. and one of them is named after you. >> yes, yeah. >> stephen: that's extraordinary. "the will smith soundstage." >> soundstage, yeah. it was fantastic. ( cheers and applause ) yup. ( applause ) >> stephen: what did that mean to you? >> you know, it was so beautiful. it was like, you know, everybody that showed up for him... the soundstages are set on what used to be a confederate army base, right? you know, so, it's like, tyler was, you know, 20 years ago, was homeless, you know. so for him to make that transition and to create this place, and everybody that showed up, you know-- there was me, and
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halle berry and denzel, and oprah-- oh, yeah, there you go. >> stephen: oprah with your lovely wife. oprah and stedman right there. ( applause ) >> yeah, you know, it was-- it was just really a spectacular evening. and oprah got the-- oprah got the big stage at the end. that's the one, the "oprah winfrey sound studio." >> stephen: she's oprah. >> she's oprah, you know. >> stephen: yeah. >> i was-- ( laughter ) you know, because i was happy with mine, you know. >> stephen: yes. ( laughter ) >> and then i saw oprah's. ( laughter ) yeah. >> stephen: you know what? i've had that experience very similar. i'm very happy with my house. >> yes, yeah. >> stephen: then i saw oprah's. >> yeah! ( laughter ) yeah, you know. yeah, oprah just got-- and you know what's interesting about oprah? like, oprah has been famous so long, that whoever's there, when oprah's there, you're her assistant, right? ( laughter ) like, you just have to help oprah. >> stephen: sure. >> like, oprah will just start walking, and you're like, "hey, miss winfrey," here you go, you
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forgot-- here's your coffee. you just feel like you have to assist. ( laughter ) >> stephen: yeah, but happily, though. >> happily, though! no, you're very happy. you know. i've seen barack get oprah something to eat, yeah. ( laughter ) yeah. ( laughter and applause ) >> stephen: wow. okay, well, let's talk about-- let's talk about your new film, "gemini man." >> "gemini man." >> stephen: i saw it last week in, i think, ang lee's-- in his screening room. >> yes. >> stephen: here in manhattan. which is, like, the best possible situation to watch it. 120 frames per second. >> per second. >> stephen: 4k. >> 3d. >> stephen: 3d. unbelievable. >> yeah, so, ang lee, what he did with this film is really spectacular. he's trying to-- he realized that home systems are-- you know, your television sound and screen at home are spectacular now. so he's trying to create a new reason for people to go to a movie theater. so, with the 120 frames per
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second-- meaning it's super clear-- the cameras are so crystal clear, and he wants it to respond like you see real life, and you're being immersed into the 3d. you have to see it in 3d. i know you can see it on the regular screens, but you have to see it in 3d, because it is really-- it's not old school. it's not your daddy's 3d. >> stephen: no! i kind of want to see it twice. i've seen it once now in the maxed-out everything, and now i want to see it, like, in 2d, like 24 frames per second, just to see what the experience is like. because it really felt like i was in the film. it was like i was young will smith. ( laughter ) >> that seems-- that seems-- that seems strange, mr. colbert. ( laughter ) >> stephen: now... >> so this character-- this is the first time-- i'm sorry, i didn't mean to cut you off on your own show. >> stephen: no, no, no, no, no. you're the guest. >> yeah, yeah. >> stephen: you actually can cut me off. i can only cut you off-- like, you always get to talk first. >> okay, okay, good, because i come in and i'm stealing all your love, and... >> stephen: not at all, no, no. i don't want to interrupt you, ever. please go, please go.
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( laughter ) >> so-- >> stephen: one more thing, though. ( laughter ) >> yes? ( laughter ) >> stephen: i just have to... i just wanted to... ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) okay, sorry, go ahead. >> oh, man. no, so this character is the first-ever 100% digital human. the young will smith. so when you see it, it isn't de- aging, right? so it's not me playing the character and they just stretch out my face and make me look younger. it actually is a 100% digital character, right. it's the first time ever. >> stephen: right. >> and so, ang is-- you know, the technology that he created-- >> stephen: but you fight yourself. >> i fight myself. >> stephen: how do you fight a purely digital-- like literally, like face-to-face press and slamming each other into walls. how do you fight a purely digital-- there has got to be something physically there, right? do you have a tackling dummy? >> right, so there are, there are-- there are stunt people, so you do it with stunt people. >> stephen: okay. >> and then they totally replace the--
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>> stephen: person. >> --the person there, and then they put in the young will. >> stephen: how did you-- how did you pick the young will? actually, before we do that, let's see a little clip of you and young will. >> so they can know what we're talking about. >> stephen: so they can know what we're talking about. >> that's why you're you. because you, like, you know, that you saw that the audience, we were getting above their head, right? and you said, you decided-- in the moment-- i saw it happen in your eyes! >> stephen: right. >> you said, "let's show them a clip." >> stephen: yeah. you know what i said to myself? i said, "i think our wheels are hydroplaning here." >> yes! ( laughter and applause ) >> stephen: "let's get back on the road. let's get our skiff back in the water." quick cut. >> yeah, professional. you're the best. you're the best. >> stephen: so we have a clip here, can you explain what we're seeing here? there's a motorcycle... race, or something? >> yes, there's a motorcycle chase, where the young me is chasing the old me. and the old me is trying to defend against the young me whooping my ass. ( laughter ) >> stephen: jim. ( laughter )
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>> stop! stop! stop! >> stephen: woo. >> yeah. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: you. >> yeah. >> stephen: you are not-- you are not nice to you in that. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. i'm upset with myself. i'm upset with myself. >> stephen: okay, we have to take a break. please don't go anywhere because we're going to be right back with more will smith, everybody. stick around. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) ♪
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♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i'm sure i'll do it. hey, everybody, we're back with the star of "gemini man."
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>> yes! >> stephen: mr. will smith. >> both stars. both stars of "gemini." >> stephen: both stars. the double star. >> both stars of "gemini man." >> stephen: again, i can't convey to the audience at home, because they're just watching on their tvs at home right now, how much you feel like you're on the street in that scene. >> yeah, ang lee, he did a really brilliant job of just how he's using the technology, how he's using the 3d. you know, when, when we were growing up-- you were growing up a little bit before i was growing up, but... ( laughter ) >> stephen: interesting, interesting. >> no, but-- i'm sorry. ( laughter ) >> stephen: interesting. i'm afraid that's all we have time for, will. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> no! >> stephen: it is different. it's not like the red-green situation. >> no, yeah, it's not like, you know, when they had the thing and they were always trying to throw things at you and things. ang was really-- he just wanted to submerge you into the world. >> stephen: right. >> right, so there's not a lot of movement with it. just, you sit and you feel...
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like you're in it. >> stephen: i'm not lying when i say, it is so clear and so real when you're watching it, that it feels like-- like, when i'm talking to you right now, it's a very similar experience. and i'm like, sitting here, going, "how did they make will smith look so old?" >> right-- ( laughs ) >> stephen: this is all-- this is all digital. ( laughter and applause ) will smith, everybody! well, how did-- okay, so, but my understanding is, tell me if i'm wrong-- is that they're actually taking some of your performances, or your face, from when you were younger in different movies. like, i swear there's a moment in this when i go, "i think that's from 'six degrees of separation'." >> so, what ang lee did that was really great, ang, he took "six degrees of separation," we looked at "bad boys," "independence day," "fresh prince," and "men in black," and he took, sort of, that period and he grabbed all of the scenes. and in our first meeting, i walk in and he has this full will
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room, you know? >> stephen: it's just you on every screen? >> it's me on all the screens. and i'm like, "yo, this dude's a real fan," right? ( laughter ) you know, so... >> stephen: that's like, you walk into a doctor's office and seeing a bunch of x-rays, and going, "this guy is really into me." ( laughter ) >> i go to ang, and he pulls up "six degrees," and he's looking and he's sitting really close to the screen, and he's like, "i notice how your face-- notice how your cheeks, how firm and confident you are, and then there's a little wiggle." and he's sitting and he's looking and he's pointing. and then "fresh prince" comes up and he's looking at my character, and he says, "i don't want any of that in my movie." ( laughter ) i was like, oh, man. but to go back and look at all of that stuff was really-- it was-- >> stephen: well, looking at young you in this and looking at young you on all those screens, do you think, will smith, that
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you could take younger you in a fight? >> i would whoop my young ass. ( cheers ) no, no. no, listen, no. i would seriously-- seriously. >> stephen: why? >> because there's a thing-- like, this is man meat, that i have now. you know, this is like-- you know, that's like old-man strong, right? >> stephen: damn! that's starting to calcify. ( laughter ) >> it's like when you get-- >> stephen: it's hard. >> when you get older and you're fighting, like, a young person, you know you're fighting for your life, right? >> stephen: so you can fight dirty. >> fight dirty, yeah. like, at this age, i just feel like i would really-- i would take it to my young self. >> stephen: yeah, i would imagine if i was fighting my younger self-- and i would never fight me in either age-- ( laughter ) but i would-- both of us would lose, i think, if i fought myself. ( laughter ) but i would definitely throw the first punch. >> when were you-- when was the last time you were in, like, a good fight? >> stephen: i think i was in sixth grade. >> sixth grade. >> stephen: yeah, that was the last time. and i think i was just a punching bag. >> aw!
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>> stephen: yeah, that's why i'm a comedian, will. >> stephen: unfortunately, we have to take another break. but we'll be right back with yet more mr. will smith, everybody. it's only going to get better. ♪ ♪ it's only going to get better. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) ut♪ ♪ seeking something more. ♪ well if inspiration's what you're searching for... ♪ ♪ follow me to a place i know with endless possibilities so ♪ ♪ you can check your list off row-by-row. ♪ ♪ i'm making this song up as i go! ♪ ♪ come on! look around! ♪ so much in store, ♪ you'll spend much less but gift much more at the stores ♪ ♪ that you've been searching for! ♪ spend less, gift better. at t.j. maxx, marshalls, and homegoods. ah, that worked well! and i like to question your i'm yoevery move.n law. like this left turn. it's the next one. you always drive this slow? how did you make someone i love? that must be why you're always so late. i do not speed. and that's saving me cash with drivewise. my son, he did say that you were the safe option.
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ blow a kiss, into the sun ♪ we need someone to lean on ♪ blow a kiss, into the sun ♪ all we need is somebody to lean on ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back. look who it is, it's will smith, everybody. >> yes! yes! >> stephen: now-- >> yes!
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>> stephen: yes. i agree completely, will smith. ( cheers and applause ) >> yes! yes! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i just-- i just wish you brought more game to these interviews. ( laughter ) if you could go back to your younger self-- like, this character is 23, i think. >> 23. >> stephen: 23. if you go back to 23-year-old will smith, what advice would you give him? >> you know, it's really interesting, because in this, and i'm thinking about that. i feel like that younger version of me-- and there's a certain naivete to youth that is powerful, right? when you don't know something? like, not knowing can be a real power, because you'll be-- you're aggressive, you know? so i feel like i would ask my young self for advice, you know. i would want to know, you know-- probably the last two years, i've really in my life been trying to recapture that youthful fearlessness. >> stephen: well, you've done
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some crazy stuff. >> yes. >> stephen: we have a clip here, i'm not sure if this is what you're talking about. we have this clip. jim, do you have this clip? it's you bungee jumping out of a helicopter. >> oh, yeah, that's sort of what i was talking about, yeah, trying to-- >> stephen: for your 50th birthday. >> for my 50th birthday. yes, yeah, yeah. >> stephen: jim, show the young man doing this, please. >> five, four, three, two, one, bungee! >> yeah, yeah. >> stephen: no, no. >> yeah. >> stephen: no. no. no! >> yeah. >> stephen: why? >> yeah. >> stephen: why? >> no, you know, that's-- >> stephen: whose idea was that? was that your idea? >> no, you know, these guys called "yes theory." like, you know, because i've been on, i've jumped on social media, and i'm really loving social media, and it was like, i got challenged. and then, you know, they say, "will smith, we challenge you to bungee jumping." right, you know, me, i got challenged. i was like, "i ain't scared. i ain't scared." you know, "yeah, well, i'll not only take-- i'll call your bungee jump, and we'll do it over the grand canyon!" and i was like, yeah!
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i told them! and then, like, the date came. ( laughter ) i was like, "oh, no." i was like-- it actually was, was probably the scariest thing i've done in, like, 25 years. like, the-- i wanted to not know anything, right? i wanted to do it and i wanted to do it live. so i didn't do any rehearsals, anything like that. >> stephen: you had never bungee jumped before? >> i had never bungee jumped. i wanted to go and let it happen. and i walked out there and got on the helicopter and i thought i was going to get in. and they said, "no, no, you can't get in. you have to stand on the outside"-- >> stephen: while it takes off. >> --"while it takes off." that was the first thing, and i should have called it then. ( laughter ) but we got up and the guy looks at me and he says, "hey, listen, the only way you can get hurt, you see this bungee cord?" and all the guys were holding the bungee cord, and the bungee cord weighed over 200 pounds. and he said, "i'm going to count backwards from five, and the only way you can get hurt is if you don't get away from this
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chopper. they're going to let that bungee cord go, and you're going down, and the only way you can get hurt is if you don't get away." right? and i was like oh, no. oh, no! and it's-- ( helicopter noises ) and i see them go... ( laughter ) aaaahhh! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: you're a better man than i. a better man than i. oh, my god. >> i just thought of something i would tell my younger self. >> stephen: what? >> i would go back and say hey, man, don't do "wild, wild west." ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: why-- why? >> i would say, "dude, do neo. do neo!" because i got offered-- >> stephen: "the matrix?" >> "the matrix." >> audience: ooh! >> i know, relax! relax. ( laughter ) how do you think i feel? >> stephen: hold on a sec.
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is this what this is? they sent me this. >> oh, yes. >> stephen: is this your instagram? >> that's from my instagram, yeah. ( laughter ) >> stephen: this is you! who did this? >> who did-- so, there's young creators who send me a lot of stuff, and some guys-- >> stephen: this is you, mixed with keanu. >> mixed with keanu, yeah, they did the deep fake, they did the deep fake. >> stephen: so this is you, as neo. ( laughter ) >> as neo, yeah. ( laughs ) >> stephen: you kind of look like-- you would also make a very good-- jim, i can see this again? a very good young eddie murphy, i think. ( laughter ) very interesting there. >> yeah. but yeah, they did the blend of, you know, i've told that story a couple of times. but yes, i think that i would definitely say that to my younger self. >> stephen: i don't think you need to be neo, because, will, you are the one. >> ooooh! you just penetrated my soul. ( laughter ) >> stephen: it's what i do. will, so good to see you. >> appreciate it, man. >> stephen: "gemini man" is in theaters this friday. ( cheers and applause )
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♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back! ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be fun, because folks, you know my next guest from "sherlock," "black mirror," and as the hot priest in "fleabag." please welcome andrew scott! ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> hi, there. >> stephen: hi. nice to see you. >> nice to see you, too. >> stephen: you know, i'm a fan of many things that you have done. >> oh, wow. >> stephen: but i am-- i am-- >> that's a good start. >> stephen: i-- i so love, like a lot of people, i so love your character of the priest. because it's called "the priest" right?
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not "hot priest." he's actually called "the priest." >> the priest, yeah. it was written as "the priest." the internet has adopted the character as "the hot priest." but no, it was written as the priest, because otherwise i think i would have been, kind of intimidated, you know. >> stephen: for the character to be hot. >> yeah, for the character to be hot, you've got to-- >> stephen: well, i heard about hot priest, and i thought when i saw it, "oh, he's good, but i'm not sure i'll buy him as hot." >> yeah, well, i totally agree. >> stephen: because you're moriarty. i knew you from "sherlock." >> right, yeah, yeah. >> stephen: and you were so murderous and so terrifying, i thought, i can't find that attractive. ( laughter ) >> well, whatever floats your boat, you know. >> stephen: exactly. >> but yeah, no, i have done a lot of kind of villainous characters before, so i was looking to do something a little more similar to myself. >> stephen: yeah, well, you're not villainous at all in this. >> i have a little dark side, you know. but in this one, no, we wanted to have a catholic priest who is represented as a good person. you know, i think sometimes the catholic church is represented-- ( laughter ) >> stephen: well, they only have themselves to blame. >> well, they do, a little. but, yeah we wanted to have--
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>> stephen: he's catholic. >> yes, yeah, well, i was brought up catholic myself. and so when we first started talking about this character, we wanted him to be, you know, a good man who has a genuine dilemma, you know, between his love of this woman and his love of the church. and, you know, that's a-- that's a real dilemma for a lot of-- a lot of people. and so, we wanted it to be a real-- not just a gimmicky love story. so the fact that the world has embraced it is really, genuinely cool. and, you know, the pope has just come out this week talking about opening up the discussion again about allowing priests to-- to get married, which i really-- i really welcome. i mean, even just-- ( applause ) yeah. >> stephen: sure. i think that would be lovely. if priests could have gotten married, if priests-- were you an altar boy, or anything like that? >> i wasn't an altar boy, but i was brought up in a very-- you know, catholic ireland. it's a very catholic... >> stephen: sure. >> and there's dwindling numbers. you know, even when i was going to school, there were hardly any priests, you know, they were dying for priests. >> stephen: same thing over here, yeah. >> really, yeah. and i really do feel these dwindling numbers could be, we could do something about them if
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people were allowed to be married. >> stephen: yeah, i think if i could be married, i think i would have considered it. >> really? >> stephen: yeah, exactly. i love an audience, you know. >> absolutely! >> stephen: even an audience of one would be nice. >> yeah, right, right. >> stephen: to make him laugh. >> i think it's really true. and this, you know, mindfulness and spirituality is something that people of my generation are really into, because there's a sort of gap in the market for it, because i think people feel a little left out by it. so, so, so the whole priest thing has been incredible. >> stephen: now, very quickly here, you're in an upcoming series called "modern love." >> yeah. >> stephen: which is based on the "new york times" column of the same name. >> yeah, the articles, yes. >> stephen: it's eight episodes. >> and they're little half-hour films. great actors: there's anne hathaway and tina fey, and dev patel. and each story is different, so you can watch them any way. >> stephen: they're all different types of love stories. >> each different forms of love. >> stephen: do you have a favorite love story? >> well, i feel like all drama
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is sort of love in some way. but the one for me, i played hamlet a couple of years ago. and "hamlet" to me is the greatest play ever written, and weirdly to my mind, it's the greatest love story, because it's about familial love, love of your country, love of your parents, romantic love. >> stephen: he's not a good boyfriend. he's not. ( laughter ) >> he's a bit of a downer. >> stephen: he is. but at least fleabag didn't end up in a pond. >> but, yeah, he's got, he's got-- there's a huge amount of comedy in "hamlet" as well. and that, to me, that's the greatest, greatest, greatest love story ever. and, you know, it's about a young man who's got mental health issues. and it's incredibly depressing. >> stephen: he's depressed. >> yeah, he is. and it's about-- that story, which always just blew my mind, it's a 400-year-old story, and the idea about it's about a young man who's got mental health issues, who has been told by his family, "don't feel, don't feel, come on, be a man, be a man, be a man." we did it 150 times, and it's nearly a four-hour-long play. and we had incredible audiences. i'm a bit of a shakespeare nerd,
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and i don't want to bore you. but what i find fascinating about it, you know, in order for shakespeare to stay relevant, i don't think you need to cut it down. i think you need to make it as exciting and as thrilling for an audience of today as it would be 400 years ago. because, you know, we binge- watch tv. you know, we watch five hours of television, if it's exciting. the idea is, don't cut it down. just make it four hours of really exciting plays. anyway, i'll stop talking about shakespeare. >> stephen: no, no, no, not at all! no, that's amazing. i could talk about "hamlet" all night. ( laughter ) they'll turn the cameras off. well, andrew, thank you so much for being here with us. it was lovely to meet you. >> thank you so much, thank you. >> stephen: "modern love" premieres october 18 on amazon. andrew scott, everybody! we'll be right back.
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>> stephen: that's it for the "late show." now stick around for james corden. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late, la s


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