late show with stephen colbert tiing d by cbs >>ay is super tuesday. it is super tuesday because it could set the course for the rest of the democratic primary. >> we're counting down to the first votes on this super tuesday. >> super tuesday is now in full swing. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert!" tonight: super news day! plus, stephen welcomes: anthony mackie. and susan glasser. with a special appearance by david alan grier. featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the

ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! how you doing, friend-o? ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody. how's it going? >> stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: good to see you. very nice. happy tuesday. happy tuesday. whoa! that's nice. ( cheers and applause ) thank you very much. thank you up there. thank you down there. welcome. welcome, one and all, ladies and gentlemen. welcome. welcome, my friends, to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) tonight-- >> jon: super tuesday!

>> stephen: you know, you know, people are excited because tonight is the night! it's super tuesday, the biggest haul-- the biggest haul of the primary season, where tonight the lion's share of the ga someone, i assume. because as we tape this, the results are not in yet. but it's going to take more than complete ignorance to stop me from talking about it, in tonight's edition of: >> i have a plan for that. >> i beat trump! >> made a lot of money. >> i'm going to beat this man like a drum. >> bing, bing, bong, bong. >> "fury road to the white house 2020: super tuesday senior citizen slam down. it all depends on tonight to ensure victory 2020. >> i dropped out! >> stephen: the--

we want to welcome our new sponsors. the big story coming into tonight was that the moderates are consolidating behind joe biden. yes, the moderates are consolidating. we are reaching extreme levels of centrism! ( laughter ) jim, let's get a new reading from the "late show" polit-it-graph. >> meh. >> stephen: with everybody who's dropped out of the race-- and this is true-- at 11 years old joe biden is now the youngest man vying for the democratic presidential nomination. keep in mind-- 77. keep in mind that the average life expectancy for men is about 76. ask so, if one of these democratic men gets elected, you know his first year in office is going to be checking off the bucket list. "my fellow americans, in my first 100 days, i will learn to surf. i will bike a moik.

, and i will make out with angie dickenson. police woman, i love you! " last night, biden racked up two big endorsements: former south bend mayor and business pinocchio, pete buttigieg; along with minnesota senator and mom being supportive after you blew the dance recital, amy klobuchar. klobuchar took the stage and announced her support for joe. >> today, i am ending my campaign and endorsing joe biden for president. ( cheers and applause ) i cannot think of a better way to end my campaign than joining his. >> stephen: you can't think of a better way to end your campaign? ( laughter ) did you think about winning? ( laughter ) now, we knew buttigieg and klobuchar were going to endorse biden, but then the vice president introduced a surprise guest. >> there's one more person i

want to thank a, man who electrified this state and nation. one of the most incredible runs for the united states senate we have ever seen, here in this state and who demonstrated enormous compassion and courage in the wake of the shooting at el paso, a man with an unlimited future, a man who will be changing this nation for the better for many years to come. ladies and gentleman, beto o'rourke! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: wow, beto's back, too? this is like a reunion of "friends" if some of the friend. by throwing in with biden, beto, amy, and pete, they're aging to slow bernie sanders. >> good luck with that because you'll need it. i move at one speed only-- determined lunch.

i lean in. i'm like a glacier in low gear." in response, last night, sanders held a rally in amy klobuchar's home state of minnesota and welcomed their supporters to his campaign. >> to all of amy and pete's millions of supporters, the door is open. come on in. >> stephen: (as bernie) "but once you're inside, close the damn door! you're letting the heat out. what, do you think we're made of money? roll up a towel and shove it in the bottom." trump also held a rally last night. he was in super tuesday state north carolina, and he pandered in a really weird way. >> you know eric and lara named their daughter. you know what her name is? carolina. carolina, her name is carolina for a reason. ( laughter ) >> stephen: for a reason? are his grandkids named after

things he needs to win reelection? ( laughter ) ( as trump ) "these are my granddaughters, carolina and pennsylvania. those are my grandsons, voter suppression, rust belt coal miner who votes against his economic self-interest, and of course, and of course, little ku klux kenny." i love you. takes after his grandpa. speaking of the coronavirus, it has now been found in at least 15 states. yesterday, trump met with top execs from big pharma to show he's on top of the crisis. >> we have nobody in this country vaccinated for coronavirus right now. so that if it-- >> the same vaccine could not work. you take a solid flu vaccine, you don't think that would have an impact or much of an impact on corona? >> no. >> probably none. >> stephen: (as trump)

"so a regular-- a regular flu vaccine won't work? huh, weird. what about a solid flu vaccine? i'm talking top-shelf, admiral class. now, what about circle dot cootie shot? what about that? all right. how about this i got-- no, quiet. how about this? a box of band-aids. i'm talking the good ones. 'frozen 2,' all elsa. throw away the annas. they don't work, okay. try it? will you try it?" the problem is, we have no idea how far coronavirus has actually spread in the united states. as of last week, the c.d.c. had tested just under 500 americans with suspected infections. other nations have tested patients by tens of thousands. china has probably tested millions. we're so far behind other nations, it's embarrassing. we're like the friend who just now is saying, "guys, i started this show called 'game of thrones.' i think it's gonna catch on. i cannot wait to see who wins the throne game. i bet it's ned stark. i'm on episode one." course, there are plenty of ways you can stay safe from

coronavirus, like handwashing. experts say you have to scrub for a minimum of 20 seconds. that's a lot of time. that's time i could be spending with my family... spreading the coronavirus. ( laughter ) to help you wash long enough, experts have suggested humming a song that's about 20 seconds long. they say that 20 seconds is about the equivalent of singing "happy birthday" twice. but any 20-second refrain works. so for those of you who are already sick and don't want to spread it to others, i recommend: (singing to "hot blooded") ♪ hot blooded check it and see ♪ i got a fever of 103 come on, baby, do you do more than dance? ♪ hot-blooded, hot blooded very sick. ( cheers and applause ) or-- or, at the very least, how about (singing to "my sharona") ♪ muh-muh-muh

thank you. >> jon: that was a nice one. >> stephen: thank you very much. the main reason for handwashing is that you don't want germs reaching your face zone, which is why experts keep saying this: >> keep your fingertips away from your eyes. >> touch your face less. >> don't touch your eyes or your face with your hands. >> don't touch your face. >> don't touch your face. >> don't touch your face. >> don't touch your face. >> stephen: don't touch your face. no! don't touch your face! no! back, back. of! ed about good and later i'll let you touch something nice. ( cheers and applause ) but sometimes-- sometimes-- ( cheers and applause ) sometimes, the best way to keep the virus from spreading is to just shut things down. for example, two new york schools closed today over coronavirus fears. the sar academy and sar high school. oooh, so close to the word "sars."

( laughter ) there hasn't been an outbreak this ironic since the closure of herpe high. ( laughter ) please join us.

♪ ♪ wherever we want to go, autosave your way there with chase. chase. make more of what's yours. ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. please say hello to the band. please say hello to jon batiste and stay human right over there, those good people. ( applause ) you hitting a home run. >> jon: yeah, got to knock it out of the park. >> stephen: you knock it outs of the park every night. >> jon: we've got to do it. >> stephen: we're breaking

windows all around this place. the cost, the cost to replace all the windows. folks, i spend a lot of time over there in the comedy gym, sculpting my major news muscles, blasting my topical pecs and quads, bulking and cutting the stories of the day into the sinewy, herculean physique that is my monologue. but once in a while, i like to scan my keycard, putter around looking at my phone for a while, do five minutes of half-assed cardio, all so i can justify the chocolate peanut-buster protein shake that is my segment: ( cheers and applause ) that's hot coffee, man! meanwhile, meanwhile is a hot cup of coffee for america. meanwhile, "prince andrew reportedly let a supermodel sit on the queen's throne at buckingham palace," then "the suermodel spotted a bowl she liked and asked andrew if she could steal it and mail it to her mom. she claims that he let her, and

her mom loved it!" ( laughter ) now, i just want to be clear: this is all from some "unnamed source," and it's not corroborated and should not be taken at face value, but he definitely did it. ( laughter ) the supermodel in question was a certain caprice bourret, which "made prince harry, who was then just a 16-year-old schoolboy, jealous because he 'had caprice's calendar on his bedroom wall.'" andrew has now become a caricature of the irresponsible uncle. "hey, check it out, kid. i've got the girl from your wall. i'm gonna have her put her sexy butt on your grandma's chair. i lost mine breaking up a cockfight." meanwhile, a fashion designer went viral this week when he unveiled his new line of inflatable pants. just what i've always wanted: a pair of leather pants that look like i put them on, couldn't get them off, and then peed in them for days.

( laughter ) ( applause ) that's a really good look. that's a really good look. as you can see, the pants fit snugly at the waist, but then balloon out to double the width of the wearer around the thighs. perfect for anyone who wants to take their manspreading to the next level. ( laughter ) the pants' designer explained why he felt the need to design these, saying, "i see the same images and similar proportions everywhere." yeah, it's almost like people who wear clothes are the same species. shirts on their 'torsos.' that's why i created the face shirt." meanwhile, doctors are now warning the public that "putting potatoes up your butt won't cure hemorrhoids." ( laughter ) although, if it's a bag of frozen tater tots, it will speed up the defrosting process. ( laughter )

now-- that sounds refreshing, absolutely. that sounds absolutely refresh be. >> jon: yes, i can't do it. >> stephen: now, when warnings like these are given, it's tempting to dismiss them as stupid and unnecessary, which is why i'd like to issue this "late show" public service announcement: remember: if there's a warning, it means someone did it. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( cheers and applause ) meanwhile, the world of indoor succulent-fanciers waser pla'dn watering for two years was fake" and just plastic "attached to a block of foam, and decorated with sand, which was glued on top." and she says, "i feel like these last two years have been a lie." ( laughter ) thankfully, in this trying time, she has the support of her loving husband.

( laughter ) ( applause ) meanwhile, according to a new study, 38% of americans say they wouldn't buy corona beer "under any circumstances" because of the coronavirus, while the other 62% wouldn't buy it because it's corona beer. ( laughter ) obviously, obviously, those people are misinformed. still, corona really wants to steer clear of saying anything that associates their product with an impending threat from overseas. so they put out this actual ad for their hard seltzer: >> stephen: yeah. "coming ashore soon." a little tone deaf. still better than their original ad. jim? >> introducing corona hard settler, the sickest drink out there. your friends might already have it. you can't tell just by looking

at them. corona hard settler: you've been exposed. ( laughter ) >> stephen: we'll be right back with anthony mackie. why wouldn't we expect our deodorant to dry in an instant? new degree advanced protection dry spray goes on instantly dry, for a cleaner feel. 72 hour protection in an instant. 72 hour protection ♪ e*trade core portfolios is an easy, automated way to get invested. we'll save you time by building, monitoring and managing a portfolio for you and provide all hands-on deck support when you need it- helping you become top dog. ♪

♪ dramatic choir music ♪ dramatic choir music ♪ dramatic choir music it's the rush of relaxation. introducing the all-new lincoln corsair. i'm going to need you to ... never mind. can't touch this. ♪ help! can't touch this. ♪ (baby cries) you can't touch this. new cheetos popcorn.

be stronger... with nicorette coated ice mint.lo for an amazing taste... ...that outlasts your craving. nicorette ice mint. for ralphie's appointment. for an amazing taste... ...that outlasts your craving. who's his groomer? carrie. full groom for sure what? i just booked ralphie's appointment online. that work? wait you what? it's that easy! download the app or book online at petsmart.com

did you know this is where you can harness your inner jedi? and tear around radiator springs? or get your flex on with the incredibles. kids enjoy the magic for just $67 per child per day, with a 3-day 1-park per day ticket. ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i should sit down. shisit down for this. >> stephen: ladies and gentlemen, folks, you know my first guest from such films as "the hurt locker," "detroit," and as falcon in "the avengers." his new film is "the banker." plooz please welcome back to "the late show," anthony mackie. ♪ ♪ ( applause )

>> oh, boy! >> stephen: now, i got a question-- >> i love you, but i don't trust you. >> stephen: ditto, my friend. >> i don't want the sars-- i don't know what it's called. i don't even drink budweiser no more. whatever it is, i don't want it. >> stephen: i want to point something out: you and jon are wearing the same suit tonight. >> hey, hey! i ain't trying to say nothing. we both from the same city. we got that swag. i ain't trying to say nothing. us what la night was the c premiere of the new film "the banker", which i understand you're also a producer of. >> yeah, yeah yeah, i produced it with a great group of people and was able to get a great cast involved. >> stephen: the premiere was held at the national civil

rights museum in memphis? >> yes. >> stephen: tell me about that night. >> it was revolutionary, man. it was mind blowing. i had never had the experience of goth lorraine hotel where dr. king was assassinated. and we had the premiere there. and they brought us through this-- if you haven't done bn, they brought us through this amazing museum, just going through civil rights through american history. and then at the end we got to go to the room where dr. king was, whre he stepped out on to the baju moved to tears. i literally was-- i wasn't able to fathom the idea of standing on the steps where this man was killed. >> stephen: that must have been an extraordinary feeling. >> it was, it was. and this movie kind of-- it plays along the same times that that happened. i mean, the 60s-- i feel like th america went from being a teenager to an adult. you know,, we lost some monumental figures in the 60s,

dr. king being one of them. and to be at that hotel was amazing. there's nothing like it on earth. >> stephen: you were with your costar last night right here. samuel jackson right there. >> i look flossie there, too. see what iki >> stephen: yeah, you're looking good. >> hey, you see that? that's called work, baby. that's called work right there. that's called work. >> stephen: but i want to point out in every photo taken of him, samuel jackson looks like he's having a better time than anybody else. people know you of course from "the avengers" together. but guway back. tell me who is going on-- what is this right here? >> that was a movie diwith sam back in the day called "the man." that was my first time working with him. >> stephen: this is 15 years ago. >> 15.y. anthe dior was like-- my character didn't have a name. he was like, what, do you want to call him?" i was like, booty."

that's me as booty as a local little street hustler, and sam picked me up to get some information. >> stephen: and getting freaked out. >> yess a snit yes. i was a street snitch. >> stephen: we have a clip here from the movie. you can explain what's happening here? >> well, this is the clip where the guy i play, bernard gator, is a young man trying to make his way in l.a. and wants to become a real estate titoon. so he buys this building and he's in the process of fixing it up, and the los angeles could buy and own property so they give him the huft bell who owns the property. stephen: jim. >> yes, officers, is there a problem. we received a complaint about you. mr. cooper in part 2adoesn't like you working in a building? >> why not. >> she said you're impersonating the owner of the building. >> no, he owns the building. >> i'm not talking to you. >> i do own the building, officer. all the paperwork is filed

downtown, but i keep a copy with me just to be safe. his actuly looks real. >> yeah, i guess so. try to be more respectful to your tenants. >> yes, sir, officer. sorry for the inconvenience. >> stephen: now, this is based-- ( applause ) correct me if i'm wrong, but this is based on a true story. >> it is. bernard garrett, he and joe at one point owned the largest commercial building in the city of los angeles. it was the bank building, the banker building in downtown l.a. they bought it. and there's pictures with them with lyndon b. johnson, with everyone, because they at one time were some of the wealthiest people in l.a. in the 60s. >> stephen: now, at the end of

last year's "avengers: end game," captain america-- spoiler alert-- captain america handed his shield over to your character. >> uh-huh. >> stephen: you know, falcon, sam wilson. >> yes. >> stephen: and you're currently-- and this is very exciting to people out there-- you're currently working on "falcon and the winter soldier." what you can tell bus this photograph right here? what's going on? >> we started shooting a few months ago. we're almost done. and the shield is in good hands. >> stephen: okay. ( cheers and applause ) i hope so. because it's right up there. jim, can we have a shot of that? it's right up there. the shield is right up up there. you know that, right? >> stephen: on deck. >> stephen: "qt and so it begins, welcome back, guys. hooive the falcon of winter soldier.

leg day saves lives. what does that mean? >> a lot of people go to the gym and don't work legs. you see dudes jacked up here and they wear sweat sweatpants. this summer we're going to do "hot boys summer" hot shorts summer because we want everybody to see the legs and let them know we're doing it right. if you go back, dudes used to wear little shorts because they want you to see the legs. to all my guys out there, let's bring the short-shorts back. let the ladies see the legs. ( applause ) you got some hot shorts? >> >> stephen: i'm wearing them right now. what does it mean to you-- i'm a fan of captain america, the previous depiction. what does it mean to you to have the shield? >> it's monumental, man, with this movie with "the banker" and the history of this country, with african americans to have-- for marvel to select a young black man ament the moniker of n

ite'nothinthatan compare as captain america, but all of their friends-- white, black, latino, and asian-- get to see a black man as captain america. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: all of this-- this moment, this moment of course was predated by this announcement being made in the comic books themselves. >> uh-huh. >> stephen: is that sam wilson became captain america in the comic books. >> right. >> stephen: and then do you know who they originally made newt falcon? ( laughter ) because when they announced the falcon's going to become captain of marvel mics, cameto announce that i,en falcon. ( cheers and applause ) right there.

>> nothing makes me happy gler yes. and it just means a lot to me ton there are white kids out there who will see finally a white man allowed to be a super hero. it's momentous. >> anything is possible if this happens! >> stephen: do you know how much i had to work out just to get ready for this drawing? >> i was about to say, how much did you shave to put those wings on? >> stephen: oh, i wax from the nex down, baby. >> that's what you do. never know. >> stephen: people love these characters. were you obsessed with this as a kid? what did you nerd out on as a kid? >> no, i never-- my brother, my oldest brother was a big comic book geek and he would alwaysoud steal his comic books for paper fights. i was a weird kid. i used to hang out outside. i new up in new orleans. for christmas when everybody else got this stuff, i got

fishing rods. i used to big in people's yards and go fishing. i still do that. if i'm in your yard digging worms don't get mad. >> stephen: do you have a favorite fish? red fish? >> i love a good red fish fight. but i'm a bass man. my goal is to retire at 50 and become a fisherman on "bass masters." >> stephen: i'd watch that. >> you do not want to see me with my ugly stick. i yank hard,un what i'm saying? if i'm going for a 15-20-pound pitch. >> use five-pound test line. i set my drag loose and let them go. sometimes you have to jump in and get them and bring them in the boat. >> stephen: do you use braided line, a mono? >> i don't like braided. braided is too strong. i like regular easy line. you want them to wear themselves off. >> stephen: your favorite knot, a uni? >> slipknot, round and round

through the hole. >> stephen: how about the real? >> i'm a zip code dude. boom like an 808, baby, you know what i'm talking about? that 808 ain't going to let you go. that was fishing talk! that was fishing talk. >> stephen: circle hook? >> always. >> stephen: or "j." >> always. and i take my bar off so if it comes out, they go. >> stephen: i'm glad we lost a lot of people with that conversation. that's my retirement plan, too, by the way. "the banker" opens in select theaters this friday and is available on apple tv+ on march 20. anthony mackie, everybody!" bass master. ( cheers and applause ) we'll be right back with a special message from david alan grier. she cleans with something like this. it's got a round head. and it's got power. go pro with oral-b. power one on for oral-b's best clean ever.

inspired by dentists. oral-b's round brush head surrounds each tooth to remove more plaque along the gum line. for cleaner teeth and healthier gums. i'll only use the one that's round. oral-b. brush like a pro. i can't believe it. that chad really was raised by wolves? which one is your mother? that's her right there. oh, gosh. no, i can't believe how easy it was to save hundreds of dollars on my car insurance with geico. it's really great. well, i'm just so glad to have met your beautiful family. and we better be sitting down now. believe it! geico could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. fishrisotto. buffalo. (buffalo wild wings) gelato. cheesecake. (cheesecake factory) grilled steak. clam bake. milkshake. brussels sprout. sauerkraut. fresh-caught trout. alfalfa sprout. curry. fried turkey. mcflurry. (mcdonald's) cacciatori.

chimichurri. ad-lib: (inhale) spiral ham. blackberry jam. rack of lamb. candied yams. pokes. smokeys. gnocchis. and them banging raviolis. we are america's kitchen. doordash. every flavor welcome. i'm the founder of the honey pot. my name is beatrice dixon. to have a retailer like target see you and believe in you, is everything. the reason why it's so important for honey pot to do well is so the next black girl she could have a better opportunity... that means a lot to me. ♪ magnum ice cream double caramel. now in ice cream tubs and bars. everyone said i was crazy. when i started this commute, so fifteen years ago, i got my first subaru and i did it anyway. for more than five hundred thousand miles, my outback always got me there. so when it was time, of course i got a new one.

because my kids still need me. and i need them. (vo) welcome to the all-new subaru outback. the most reliable outback ever. go where love takes you. and i chose the spark cash card from capital one with unlimited 2% cash back on everything i buy why wouldn't i get this card?! i redeemed $115,000 in cash back, which doubled our marketing budget last summer. what's in your wallet? which doubled our marketing budget last summer. a lot will happen in your life. wrinkles just won't. neutrogena® rapid wrinkle repair's fastest retinol formula works so fast. it takes only one week to reveal younger looking skin. neutrogena®

♪ dramatic choir music ♪ dramatic choir music ♪ dramatic choir music

it's the rush of relaxation. introducing the all-new lincoln corsair. welcome back to the show. good to see you again. february may have just ended, but we here at "the late show" are still celebrating black history month. jon, how would you like to be remembered during future black history months? >> i like to knit. ( laughter ) >> stephen: that's great to know, jon. and to keep our celebration going, i invited friend of the show, david alan grier, to deliver this special message. ♪ ♪ >> hello, i'm david alan grier. throughout this black history

month, we've had the opportunity to honor so many great men and women in our past. but as february comes to a close, it's now time for "black future month." so join me in a celebration of all the achievements that haven't even happened yet. september 22, 2026. lawyers neela dibaba and robert james successfully convince th citizens reparations. unfortunately, the reparations take the form of gift cards to the cheesecake factory. ( laughter ) i think that's a win. on july 19, 2115, right fielder omari brown hits a walk-off home run to win the intergalactic series of baseball. oh, also, in the future, there are aliens, and they play baseball, and they taste delicious. october 31, the first halloween

in recorded history in which no white people wear black face. october 22, 2021, joe abiola is electedly the first black prime minister of japan. honestly, we don't know how that happened. we're just going with it. sunday, august 24, 2437, at precisely 8:14 p.m., racism finally ends. it was all set in motion today with the flap of a butterfly wing. that delicate flutter led to the precise circumstances necessary to bring an end to centuries of prejudice and bigotry. well, that's all for our celebration in great achievements in black future. ope. he's fine. i'm david alan grier. now, can somebody tell me how to geisbr ( aughte ( >> stephen: thank you david alan grier! we'll be right back with "the new yorker's" susan glasser. snoeft ( applause ) ooking off.

how is she there and we're here? condoms. true. don't hate-like their trip, book yours with hotels.com and get rewarded basically everywhere. hotels.com. be there. do that. get rewarded. an expression of disgust caused by inadequate litter. stank face. tidy cats is the cure. with guaranteed tidylock protection. you won't have to face one more stank face. tidy cats. every home, every cat. there's a tidy cats for that. i'm loooooving the all-new camera system on iphone 11! (paul) and i love how at sprint... (sprintern) ...you can get the amazing iphone 11 for zero dollars a month when you trade-in your iphone 6s or newer... (paul) in any condition. (sprintern) seriously, in any condition. for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay.com. cheez-it snap'd. how does it taste? it's so thin, crispy and cheesy. and i just want to keep eating it. i've done it! and eating it...! they love em!

♪till the tears run down from my eyes♪ ♪lord somebody, ooh somebody ♪can anybody find me somebody to love?♪ alexa, play queen on amazon music. [music playing] we can just shoot'em, soon as they grab their gun. [ scream ] everybody get out of here! [ click ] they're hunting us. why would they do something like that? cause they think their better than us. it's my constitutional right to protect myself. which is exactly what's happening right now. it hasn't even started yet. oh you done messed up lady.

where the prices make all the dresses yeses. yeah! save 20 to 60 percent off department store prices on our best selection of spring dresses. the ross spring dress event, on now! you know, the happiest place on earth, but... have you flown the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy? or channeled your inner jedi? you gotta love that... have you raced through radiator springs? or struck a power pose with them?

now is the perfect time to feel like this... and this... and definitely that. kids enjoy the magic for just $67 per child per day, with a 3-day 1-park per day ticket. kids enjoy the magic for just $67 per child what? oooh... ahhh. no. yeah? yes! oh yeah! sí. yes. that's the sound of saving 20 to 60 percent off department store prices. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) (groans) hmph... (food grunting menacingly) when the food you love doesn't love you back, stay smooth and fight heartburn fast with tums smoothies.

♪ tum tum-tum tum tums with tums smoothies. ♪ i'll b♪ waiting here ♪ waiting just for you ♪ ♪ welcome to my world that's a zzzquil pure zzzs sleep. our gummies contain a unique botanical blend, while an optimal melatonin level means no next-day grogginess. zzzquil pure zzzs. naturally superior sleep. ♪ dramatic choir music ♪ dramatic choir music introducing the all-new lincoln corsair.

i'm going to need you to ... never mind. can't touch this. ♪ help! can't touch this. ♪ (baby cries) you can't touch this. new cheetos popcorn. why wouldn't we expect our deodorant to dry in an instant? new degree advanced protection dry spray. goes on instantly dry for a cleaner feel. 72 hour protection in an instant. 72 hour protection ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

wherever we want to go, we just have to start. autosave your way there with chase. chase. make more of what's yours. ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my next guest tonight is a veteran reporter who has worked

as editor in chief of "foreign policy," founded "politico magazine," and served as the moscow bureau chief for "the washington post." she now has a weekly column at "the new yorker." please welcome susan glasser! ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> stephen: good to see you. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thanks for being here. >> thanks for having me. >> stephen: i personally requested to have you on because i have read just about every column you have written in the last three years for "the new yorker." they're all called "letter from washington," right? >> i'm sorry, i know it's a lot to take in. >> stephen: what i really like about them is i don't think there is anybody out there who, "a", has the breadth of journalistic experience, who has the knowledge of what happens underneath a burgeoning autocratic regime, because you

were one of the moscow bureau chiefs for "the washington post" when putin was rising to power in the early 2000s, and who understands the norms we're losing in our government than you. i'm not going to say it's a cheerful column, you know. it's mildly refreshing. it's 90% water, 10% hemlock. it's not too bad. but you said you needed a term for the trump effect, the thing we're all feeling but have trouble naming. and you asked a friend to help you-- who helped you come up with this term? >> okay, so i have this wonderful friend, casanza, who is german, and you know how people are always joking there ought to be a long german word for that. i said, "is there a long german word for this trump soul sickness?" and she said, "no, but i'll make one up." so she made one up. ( laughter ) >> the second part is good. the schlamassle.

>> stephen: what does it mean? >> i think it's technically yiddish. >>o. at does it mean? >> again, i don't actually speak german. trump, you got that, regnorran is government. schlamassle is what it sounds like, craziness. and schmirtz, is soul sickness. it's like trump, craziness, soul sickness. >> stephen: i get a constant feeling in the sort of gas lighting of america that the president is taking place and the people aiding and abetting him, like some sort of spell is trying to be cast on us, like some sort of weird-- somewhat abusive spells being cast on us so we don't see reality anymore. we're being dragged into his insanity. when you were seeing the rise of putin from 2000-to 2004, was this happening then? >> you wouldn't think there would be an overlappingexse betn

russia and being in washington, and throw in a clinton impeachment-- these things aren't supposed to go togethervr years, he did what all aspiring authoritarians do, what erdogan did in turkey, consolidate power. first you go after the journalists. they took over the independent television. you go after the parliament, and you make sure that it's a pocket parliament. you go after this-- and, you know, there are some unkane parallels. trump seems to have the instincting of a natural-minded awe authoritarian, even though we have a very different history and institutions and cultures, thanks goodness you. >> stephen: have been writing about the new phase of the presidency since the senate acquittal. who post-impeachment trump? is it really different? my suspicion before it happened, "if he isn't acquitted, the guardrails will be off." i don't see that the guardrails have ever been on.

is he the same person post-acquittal? that's a good question. i saw that you said that before. >> and thought he's going to challenge me on this. what's the answer? i went back and looked. and we are actually, you know, the frog being slowly boiled. you know that? >> stephen: yeah. >> i think we're kind of boiled already. because i think we are slowly getting used to trump doing things now that he never would have tried to do three years ago when he first came into office two, years ago. since he's been acquitted, he's attacked supreme court justices, gone after not only a federal judge in the roger stone case but the four women forwoman ofe he has not only fired the acting director of national intelligence because a briefing about russia was given to members of congress, put in someone very unqualified for the job in an acting capacity. and then just this week, he's named as the new director of

national intelligence, the congressman who was disqualified by republicans just aify months ago because he was lying on his resume. so the head of national intelligence is going to be someone who can't tell the truth about his own record. so we're used to something-- republicans are now endorsing him for the job that they refusedly to put him in just six months ago. >> stephen: it's almost as if they don't want to know things. >> well, you know, i don't think you need to speak to motives. i think that's one thing i've learned in sort of three years of trumpology. it's like kremlinology. you don't actually have to get inside their head to know does donald trump love vladimir putin? just look at the crazy stuff that they're saying and doing. and so that's what i've tried to do is to write it down on the theory that 20 years from now, we're all going to be saying, "did this really happen?" >> stephen: i hope so. i hope 20 years from now we have that attitude. that we're not just in scuba

gear in midtown manhattan. ( laughter ) but you raise-- you raise a good point, raise a good point that we are the frogs slowly being boiled and we've become inured of some of the shocking things that happens. how do you maintain your fresh shock. metaphorically i have to pull the car over, vomit into a ditch, slap myself on the face and get back in so i can stay weak on at the wheel. how do you stay freshly shocked at it? >> it is kind of looking at the eclipse of the sun but without the glasses on every week. i know most people have tuned it out. i understand that. if your job is to stare straight at it. we forget all the crazy stuff, right. even the people whose job it is to pay attention. do you remember when donald trump said he was going to buy greenland? >> stephen: yeah. >> he goes on his rallies all the time and he attacks windmills and he attacks -- >> stephen: for caution

cancer? >> and toilets. he doesn't like modern toilet. >> stephen: right. >> and you forget these things because it's too much to say i should write about it all the time. often that is what i do to get myself psyched up to write a column, i go back through the twitter feed, and within a second i'm ready to go. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: susan, thank you so much for being here. lovely to have you on. please keep it up. shouldn't you pay less when you use less data?

now you can. because xfinity mobile gives you more flexible data. you can choose to share data between lines, mix with unlimited, or switch it up at any time. all on the most reliable wireless network. which means you can save money without compromising on coverage. get more flexible data, the most reliable network, and more savings. plus, get $300 off when you buy a new samsung galaxy s20 ultra. that's simple. easy. awesome. call, click or visit a store today. cae dey's ght bancause wee per ™.r hungry... all for just $6.99. the $6.99 super slam™ is back! see you at denny's!

>> stephen: that's it for "the late show," everybody. tune in tomorrow when my guests will be chris hayes and david chang. now stick around for james corden. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late late show