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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  May 1, 2020 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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bay area. have a great weekend, stay safe. captioning sponsored by cbs >> stephen: how do i look? >> fine. >> stephen: how's the hair? >> it's crooked. >> stephen: it's crooked? there you go. that's better. who's the guest tonight. >> thandie newton. >> stephen: i have juice newton, sir isaac newtons. i have newton, comma, fig. there you go. thandie newton. jim, how is it looking?
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>> we're still getting the satellite. we need 30 seconds. >> stephen: okay, i'll just take a nap then! this sort of thing never happened at the ed sullivan theater. i wish i was there again. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert"." tonight, stephen sleeping or is he weak? plus stephen welcomes thandie newton, and ina garten. with a special appearance by john mulaney, featuring jon battiste and stay human. and now life from his own subconscious, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hey, everybody, thank you, thank you so much, please, please have a seat. ladies and gentlemen, everybody,
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in here, out there, all around the world. welcome to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: hold on a second. there you go. folks, as you can see, i am coming to once again from the beautiful ed sullivan theater here in midtown manhattan. and i can do that because a tod, may 1, the federal stay-at-home order has been lifted an lift and since we're governed by the federal communications commission, i'm pretty sure that's olly olly oxen free. of course, i'm playing it safe by being a cartoon, which is the ultimate mask. great to see you again, jon. ( piano riff ) >> jon: great to see you, too, stephen. how do i sound? you. >> stephen: look fantastic. you sound amazing. i am so glad to be here, since
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lockdown i have been dreaming about doing the show from the ed sullivan. wait a minute. maybe this is just a dream. hold on, let me check. nope. not waking up. this must be real life. ( piano riff ) >> jon: it's real, stephen, and i'm staying human. that's some smokin' squid right there! ( piano riff ) >> stephen: moving on to something slightly more cartoonish, donald trump. trump's poll numbers are going down the tweeting throne because he so fragrantly shanked the response to the coronavirus. for example, his series of disastrous press conferences, in which he suggested, among other things, that people somehow put bleach in their bodes. oh, let's give that a try, okay, that's a little too much. let's fix that.
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there you go. so, to continue his perfect record for never taking responsibility for anything, trump has started a public campaign to blame china for the pandemic. ( as trump ) "i want to see the virus' long-form birth certificate. i have a feeling it's from china, which many are calling 'the kenya of asia.'" specifically, trump has pressured the intelligence community for evidence to support an unsubstantiated theory that a government laboratory in wuhan was the origin of the coronavirus outbreak. i've seen that theory, too, from my source on the internet, who assures me, "ermahgerd, cerernervehrus came from a wuhern lerb!" but yesterday, the director of national intelligence released a statement saying, "the intelligence community concurs with the wide scientific consensus that the covid-19 virus was not manmade or genetically modified." oh, "not genetically modified."
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so it's better for you than corn? scientific consensus is that covid 19 "began as a bat virus." no word yet on how it spread to humans, but scientists think the likely culprit was this man. "i had sex with a bat. upside down. it was pretty hot." yesterday, trump said he believed the wuhan lab conspiracy theory, and then reporters pressed him on why he believed that. >> stephen: my question is have you seen anything at this point that gives you a high degree of confidence that the wuhan institute of virology was the source? >> yes, i have. yes, i have. >> stephen: yes, he has. trump looked at the virus under a microscope and saw it was clearly made in china. the reporter pressed him further. >> what gives you a high degree of confidence that this originated from the wuhan institute of virology? >> i can't tell you that. i'm not allowed to tell you that. >> stephen: (as trump) "i could tell you, but then i'd have to kill you.
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probably with the virus i'm not taking seriously." and what do you mean, "you're not allowed to"? you're the president. anything you say is instantly declassified. ( as trump ) "look, i'd love to tell you, but my boss would kill me. again, with the virus i'm not taking seriously." trump made these comments at an event about protecting seniors, a group he's not sure he belongs to. >> this afternoon, i'll sign a proclamation declaring the month of may to be "older americans month." i don't know if i'm in that category. i have a feeling i am. but i feel good. >> stephen: the i'm pretty sure being confused about whether you belong in the "older americans" category means you belong in the "older americans" category. trump also weighed in on the character of his old pal general michael flynn. >> i think he is a fine man. i think he has got a great family. he loves his son.
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i will tell you, his son was around a lot, and he loves his son, as people generally do. >> stephen: (as trump) "people generally love their sons but, of course, there is an eric to every rule." trump desperately misses his rallies. so on sunday, he's planning what he hopes is the next best thing. "a two-hour event on emerging from the coronavirus pandemic live from the lincoln memorial." i can't think of anything more appropriate than standing in front of lincoln memory although saying, states can do whatever they want. it's up toem. ts why da man frozen in stone, indoors, sitting in a chair for all eternity." we haven't heard a lot from the presumptive democratic nominee
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and national tooth preserve, joe biden. he has been silent about the sexual assault charges made by tara reade. he told want associated press, when she worked fored by nen 1993, he rubbed her shoulders and neck and played with her hair. now, that would be wrong even if he were her hairdresser, unless he worked at super uncomfortable cut. but in a recent podcast, reade took the allegations further, saying, he did something really bad, something i'm not allowed to say on cbs. how do i do this? a little help, please. >> grab them by the pussy. >> stephen: yes, what he said and did. parts of reade's story have been corroborated by her brother, a former coworker, and a former neighbor who all saiheld them about it at the time. and a newly resurfaced video apeers to show reade's mother
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calling in to "larry king live" to seek advice. you know is ug for won whenheir best option wall l. it was either, that the butterball hot line or being call number 10 on wyyy in the morning with wally and the snooch. what's the phrase that makes abusers pay. that's a quick trik one ♪ i don't want to work i just want to bang on the drum all day ♪ today the former vice president finally addressed the charge and mika mornin' drove straight at it. >> would you go on the record with the american people? did you sexually assault tara reade. >> no, it's not true. i'm saying unequivocally tnever, never happened, and it didn't, never happened. >> stephen: there it is. complete denial. and furthermore he dsn'tmember t on't remember any type of complaint she may have made.
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it was 27 years ago. i don't remember, nor does anyone else that i'm aware of. the fact is that-- that i don't remember. i don't remember any complaint ever been made. >> stephen: so he doesn't remember anything, though research does show there is memory loss associated with decades of huffing hair. mika pushed biden, asking if he could promise her he never had a sexual assault complaint. and he did not hesitate to equivocate. >> i am absolutely positive that no one that i am aware of ever was been made aware of any complaint, a formal complaint made by, or complaint by tara reade against me at the time this allegedly happened 27 years ago or until the-- i announced for pres-- well, i guess it was in april or may of this year. i know of no one who is a that any complaint was made. >> stephen: that's a lot of qualifications. ( as joe biden )
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"look, look, i'm not aware that i am aware of anybody being aware of any persons knowing that anyone was aware of a complaint to my awareness, listen, jack, i don't care where you're aware, as long you're not a werewolf. what's the question? trump was asked about the biden case yesterday, and he was unhelpfully sympathetic. >> you know, it could be false accusations. i know all about false accusations. i have been falsely charged numerous times. >> stephen: (as trump) "look, i'll make joe a deal. i'll say that he was falsely accused this one time, as long as he agrees that i was falsely accused 21 times. tell you what-- let me sweeten the deal. even if he loses in november. i promise to make him a supreme court justice. nobody tell him what boofing is." like many of these cases, it's hard to know exactly what happened after so many years. and a lot of people have compared this to accusations of christine blasey ford against brett kavanaugh. and that's legitimate. and while both accusations
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should be taken seriously, there is at least one difference: a nominee to the supreme court goes through a process of investigation by the f.b.i. then confirmation by the senate. then the senators judge. but for the presidency, there's only you, the voters. you're the jury. and you are ready to be a jury, because you're already sequestered. we've got a great show for you tonight. from hboh,'s "west world "thandie newton is here. but when we return, proof that the president watch my show. hi, in president. let's be honest. quitting smoking is hard. so tryaking itmall, e sed at how easily starting small can lead to something big. start stopping with nicorette.
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♪ ♪ ( snoring ) >> stephen: oh, hey. i just had the weirdest dream.
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i was fully clothed. anyway, welcome back. folks, if you watch the show every night-- and i hope you do-- you know that last night, my guest was new york senator chuck schumer, seen here trying to remember the last place he saw his glasses. well, you know who else watched him on "the late show?" donald trump. today, he talked about it on the radio show of conservative commentator and living can of protein powder, dan bongino. and-- spoiler-- the president wasn't impressed with schumer. >> stephen: oh, my god! donald trump watched my interview!
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mr. idei know you may no havnator schumer, but you should check out my monologue. i say your name a lot. you're kind of the star-- in that, you're slowly expanding to destroy all of us. who am i kidding? he wasn't thrilled with me, either. >> stephen: mr. president, i have some terrible news. and it's not that johnny's dead. it's that he thought you were a joke, too. >> don't worry about gennifer flowers. she got fired. but she got a new job today as a donald trump backup mistress. >> stephen: hello! also, i'll tell you how i make money. i don't bankrupt my casinos. now, of course, i'm in the meat
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in a twitter fight sandwich, because trump also tweeted about it and schumer responded: ybe he'llesomethng." i do have a lot toesidename, i r we'll be right back with a special community calendar with our friend john mulaney. ♪ ♪ (vo) at sprint, we understand saving money for your family
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♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. one of my favorite segments we do on "the late show" is something called "community calendar," where a celebrity guest and i highlight actual upcoming events happening in a small town they happen to be
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from. events like poetry readings, local battles of the bands, deep-fried testicle festivals-- you know, the heartland. well, i want to do it again, but, of course, right now, all those local events have been. cancelled. however, resourcef people. across the country have now been holding the same sorts of incredible events online, because we're now all living in the same small town knownas the internet. here to help me discuss some of the best online events, a man who is currently online himself, john mulaney! >> hello, stephen! >> stephen: thank you for being here, john. are you ready to highlight some real upcoming online events? >> i have literally nothing else going on right now! >> stephen: great! then it's time for "community. calendar: internet edition"! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ( phone dialing ) ( modem connecting ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: welcome to "community calendar," your source for everything happening on the web that isn't porn.
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john, do you enjoy the internet? >> i sure do! it's perfect for when i want to feel bad about myself. >> stephen: well, let's show people some real upcoming online events they can attend. first up, are you a book lover looking for a sense of community? then check out the "quarantined pages" project using the hashtag "reading-apart-together." every day they are hosting a "one-hour silent reading session on zoom." it's the perfect event for anyone who wants to be silently ignored, but does not have a cat. >> then, for all you cooks out there, on saturday, may 2, sacramento's "scratch-made life" is hosting sausage making, online. it's like the saying goes: "you don't want to knothts made because it's so fun and you'll just want to do it all the time!" >> stephen: every wednesday, staten island's frank d. paulo intermediate school is hosting "the masked singer at paulo," where middle school teachers perform in masks, while students try to guess who they are.
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it's perfect for any teacher who likes working from home but misses getting made fun of by students. >> so, please tune in to see who is behind mister charmin. then quickly log off before you see him reuse that toilet paper. the check out's webcam of the aroara borealis. see why scientists call the northern lights "nature's screen saver." and this saturday, may 2, little rock's club nevermore will host cabin fever, an online dance party featuring four showers of goth/industrial tacks. plus goghtd gossip in our chat room. goth gossip, by the way, is what they originally called obituaries. >> stephen, do you want to hear some hot goth gossip? you know jack racen the bassist. i saw him smiling and wearing pastels. >> stephen: get out! >> yes!
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and guess where he was? >> stephen: bed, bath and beyond? >> no. build-a-bear workshop! >> stephen: wait. what were you doing there? >> i like to take my nephew there and then not buy him anything so he gets upset. >> stephen: that's awful. >> thank you. >> stephen: on may 12, the united states office of personnel management will host a webinar on preparing a resume for federal jobs. learn helpful tips like: if you want to head up a coronovirus task force, under. "relevant experience" put "married to the president's daughter." >> tuesday, may 5, join allentown's "forward thinking fitness" on zoom for "free kids superhero training!" an interactive training session for kids that features superheroes such as batman, wonder woman, captain america, spider-man, bat girl, and many more! so come for the workout and stay to see d.c. and marvel team up to sue a local gym! >> stephen: want to exercise from home but also enjoy drinking? then sign up for a virtual drunk
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yoga class. start the session in downward-facing dog, and end the night in downward-facing toilet bowl. >> but there's more. every friday at 8:00 p.m., jersey city's art house productions presents virtual drag bingo hosted by harmonica. sunbeam. i can't wait to tune in and find out what her drag name is. >> stephen: every night at 7:00 central on facebook live, you can check out "quarantine quarterhour" a daily variety show brought to you by a "farm somewhere near nashville." it features live music, magic tricks, and occasional relationship advice. that advice? don't date a musical magician who lives on a farm. well, comma, that does it for this edition of "community calendar." check out for links to the events we've covered here tonight. >> if you see any other links on the internet, do not click on them. >> stephen: thank you, john mulaney! john mulaney, everybody. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪
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that could mean an increase byin energy bills.. you can save by setting your heat to 68 or lower... unplugging and turning off devices when not in use... or just letting the sun light your home. stay well and keep it golden. ♪ ♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. she is an emmy award-winning actress you know from "westworld," which is now in its third season. please welcome to "a late show," thandie newton! hey, thandie. >> hi. >> stephen: that is a
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fantastic t-shirt. >> i just reached into my wardrobe and that's what came out. >> stephen: a matching mug. >> i went into the kitchen and grabbed it. you're just vibing in this house in london. >> stephen: how are you handling your quarantining, thandie? >> well, it is a blessing to be with all of my children, to have them locked in the house for eight weeks. >> stephen: are you back in the u.k.? >> yeah, we're in london. my 19-year-old who moved out at the end of last year is back home. so that's fantastic! >> stephen: we have the same experience here. because-- because i have an adult daughter and i have essentially an adult son about to graduate from college, and they're back with us, too. while it's all terrible, it's kind of lovely we get to trap all of our kickadees in the chicken coop again. >> yeah, and we're all going through this experience together. we're all sharing and they're seeing, you know, my husband and i try to do as much as we can
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for the effort to help the vulnerable, particularly vulnerable during this time. and we're all doing our bit, you know. but there's a lot of playing. a lot of playing. >> stephen: well, listen, you're a gifted actress. your husband is a director and a writer. one of your children... is it-- i'm sorry, we had her on the show. >> nico, who came on the show. >> stephen: yes, she was lovely, from "dumbo." you guys could write and shoot >> we should, shouldn't we? you would think. >> stephen: how frank are your children with you about your performances? do you get critiques from them. >> that's good. i've got one of them here, should we ask her? >> stephen: please, sure. >> come on, noodle. >> stephen: hey, nico. good to see you again. >>, you too. >> stephen: tell me about you mo performances.
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do you ever give her critiques. >> i don't watch them. >> stephen: >> stephen: that is a critique right there. >> i mean, i watched one episode of "westworld." she was great. you were great. >> thanks. >> the one thing i really do praise her on is "big mouth." please. she was super impressed and i didn't know she was watching it. i was probably hoping she wasn't watching it. and i had already recorded a season of it, and i went into nicoa's bedroom one day, and i said, "i did that." >> & she was pretty impressed jiervetion in awe. >> stephen: you said you watched one episode of "westworld?" >> i watched from the first season the second episode. >> did you? >> yeah. >> stephen: the nice thing about "westworld," you can just watch one episode and you know everything that is going on. you totally have the idea. >> i think we probably forwarded it. >> i remember there was, like, a death or something, and i had to cover my eyes. so i was very confused.
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but you were great. >> oh, thanks. i think, basically, it's-- it's just never going to happen. it must be very odd. it must be very odd to see your parent eye mean i watched you, and i thought you were fantastic. through my tears. >> yeah. >> do you remember when you were going to a retreat, i think, ages ago, and there was one scene-- not spoiler-- but she got shot in the head. and, obviously, they were going to put the bullet wound and c.g.i. it out afterwards but she reacted like she'd just been shot in the head. and i remember me and my si think we had to be pushed back away from the set because we were laughing so hard. >> they were laughing. >> we thought her reaction was so fun. >> benemann: that's nice. >> i just thought it would be good for them to see the before and after and demystify the whole thing. >> stephen: that's better than summary actions. what are you guys doing in the house?
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who is the cook? eb is stuck together. there has been a lot of baking. >> i make a mean banana bread. i hear you do, too. >> stephen: i do. it's my wife evie's banana bread recipe. she said i make a mean banana bread. i mostly wap. >> jon: of. >> and eat. >> stephen: i made it once and brought it into my staff and convinced them i was a baker. >> with banana bread-- so you lied. oh, my god, i did this terrible thing once, stephen! i was doing a movie in vancouver, and i basically to befriend people i would make them a banana loaf, a banana bread. i made one for judi dench and she loved it, loved it, loved it. and i made one for the director. and i didn't realize the butter that i had used was rancid, and so i gave it to him. and he was really-- because he had been working hard. he was suffering, right. he was really-- i think his immune system was pretty knocked
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out. so the next day i heard he was in hospital on a drip because he had such violent food poisoning that he-- i mean, and we all it's film shut down for four days because of it. and no one knew it was me. this is-- i'm saying it now for the first time. >> stephen: no one-- >> it was me. >> stephen: >> stephen: that would actually make a pretty good murder mystery. no one would suspect the murder weapon was the banana bread. >> theeranceit goat butter in the banana bread. but it was good to have the four days off, it really was. >> stephen: everybody has plans canceled left and right. but you might have a plan cancel that tops everybody else. you were supposed to receive an o.b.e., whh is-- for those who don't know-- order of the british empire. and your ceremony got postponed. >> yeah. >> stephen: you can receive an o.b.e. over zoom? >> no way. i'm going to wait until i've got in-person royal stin skinto, you know-- they wear gloves, i
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think. >> stephen: they have to. just to keep them away from the riffraff. they have to-- >> look, as long as it takes, babe. as long as it takes. i'm in it for the-- i'm in it for the proper visit to the caeflt, all of it. >> stephen: how have they prepped you? what are you supposed to do? what comes with it? does it come from a side of fries. what do you get with the o.b.e.? >> i smoke to someone who has already received one when he said there's a wonderful gift shop afterwards. >> stephen: wait a second. there's a gift shop? >> yes. >> stephen: so there's an angle on this one, returning some coin on this. >> those poor little mights. i'm going to get it all, babe, seriously. if it's a key ring with a picture in it, coasters, you know. this is going to be, like, out the door, replaced with nice, would you? as an american i can't get an o.b.emp. obviously i would have one by now. >> i reckon they'll have boxer
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shortsz! >> stephen: teacup. >> teacup. not boxer shortsz? okay, okay. i'll see what i can get for you. >> stephen: the season finale of "westworld" is this sunday on hbo. you can tell us anything about the finale, or are you sworn to secrecy. >> very unhelpfully, i have known evan wood now for six years since we started show the, and we haven't had a lot to do on the show and we finally come together in this explosive way. and we've been doing stunt work together in rehearsal and i always felt like the biggest losier, and i can't seem to do it. i find out at the end of shooting that she's a black belt in tae kwon do. i'll got my o.b.e. o.b.e., tae kwon do black belt? who is going to win? that's to give a hint of that much going on.
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>> stephen: was the season totally done before the quarantining began? >> >> yes, it was. although the postproduction hadn't finished. so we had already started. the season had begun to air when covid really took hold globally. so there was talk about how we were going to get the last four episodes finished because we couldn't go in to do a.d.r., additional dialogue recording. they ended up asking us to do it from home. i don't have a sound studio. i don't even have an office, stephen, if you can believe it. i did it in the car in the garage. >> stephen: really? >> i did, and it worked. so i'm never going to a.d.r. studios again. >> stephen: i know. i think there are a lot of things we're never going to again now that we can do them from home. >> you look comfortable there. i think you should stay right where you are. >> stephen: i am. i'm never going to wear a tie again. >> i'm going to wear this every day in readiness for the next
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time. >> stephen: thandie, thank you so much for being on. nico, lovely to see you again. >> it was so nice to see you, angel. wishing you good will and we'll all get through this. >> stephen: absolutely, absolutely. stay safe. stay strong. >> yay! >> yay! >> stephen: the season three finale of "westworld" airs this sunday on hbo. thandie newton, everybody! and nico. when we come back i'll be making cocktails with ina garten, stick around. ♪ ♪ in our softest, smoothest fabric. she's confident, protected, her strength respected. depend. the only thing stronger than us, is you. upprep up. step up. pre.dent, protected, her strength respected. to help keep you free from the risk of hiv. from the makers of truvada, there's another prep option: descovy for prep. a once-daily prescription medicine that helps lower the chances of getting hiv through sex. it's not for everyone. descovy for prep has not been studied
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my next guest is the bestselling cookbook author and beloved host of the food network's "barefoot contessa." please welcome, ina garten! hello! >> there u ar! >> s: ere you are,too. r>> stephe i-- i-- one of the things i love about your show is that it's so intimate. i feel like i'm in your kitchen while you're cooking. so i'm totally prepared for this kind of intimacy right now. >> it's-- isn't it great? i mean, you can do it from home. it's not the same, but it's still-- it's different. it's interesting to see where
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people live. >> stephen: yes. >> and you get a sense of who they think they are by what's behind them, right, don't you? >> stephen: yes. i can tell who you are because you have-- you have-- >> cabinets behind me. i'm in the kitchen. where else would i be. >> stephen: hospitality behind you, you have. you have a dinner party behind you. i have a big sign with my name on it. you and jeffrey have been married for 52 years, which is beautiful. >> yeah. >> stephen: have you learned anything new about jeffrey from this intimate time together? >> when we were married for i ink a year and a half, we had four months and nothing to do and no within mann. he was going to graduate school. and i just-- we just decided that we were going to get two really cheap tickets to europe. we bought an orwhs three feet . and we lived in that pup tent for four months. and at the end of that, i
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thought, if we're still such good friend, we can survive anything. so being quarantined in a whole house is like a luxury. it was really-- it was-- it was the moment you knew everything was going to be okay. >> stephen: now, a couple of weeks ago, you made a bit of a splash, had a viral moment, when you posted on instagram making a cocktail in a huge martini glass. >> i just eye don't know why. it just-- i had this glass, and i thought oh, this would be really funny. i had no idea what was going to happen. it was like a bomb exploded. are we making cocktails together? >> stephen: i hope so. >> oh, good. >> stephen: the fact that somebody has a martini glass that size says a lot about a personal. >> it was a gift. >> stephen: exactly. >> you have one too! >> >> stephen: cheers. >> but do you have the largest cocktail shairk ever? >> stephen: i do! i don't have it in the room. >> do you? >> ninan: don't have it in the room. i'll get it. >> someone gave me this cocktail
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shaker. >> stephen: i'll make my cocktail. you make your cocktail. >> okay, great. >> stephen: i'm going to ask you some other questions. what time did you post that video, by the way, the other day? >> i was afraid you were going toa sc that. it was 9:30 in the morning. i mean, it's a virus, you know. you're quarantined. you can do whatever you want whenever you want. you can chocolate cake in the morning and you can have breakfast for dinner. >> stephen: what kind of drink are you making? >> cosmopolitan. what are you making? >> stephen: an espresso martini. >> that sounds good! >> stephen: a shot of espresso. some kahlua, some vodka. >> jon: that sounds good. >> stephen: it's lovely. a nice chunk of ice in here. right there. >> i like that you're doing it on your desk. is this a very natural place for you to be doing it? >> stephen: no, nothing about
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this is natural. >> another 30 seconds. you have to do it for 30 second s. >> stephen: 30 seconds. >> what did you learn about your wife that you didn't know before quarantine? >> stephen: how patient she could be with me. >> that's good. >> stephen: though, i had hintsz of it over the years. you're known for throwing fabulous dinner parties. a lot of people are having cocktail parties, dinner parties. what is the secret to throwing a good tele-dinner party? >> you know, it's interesting, i thought-- i haven't done a zoom dinner party, but a friend said we should do it. and she said the key is that everybody is eating the same thing. so you not only have that experience of seein oth, but in fact you have the ex lly-- of smelling the same thing and eeght the same thing. wait a minute. you have a human-sized cocktail there. i have a very large one. cheers. >> stephen: cheers. >> cheers. >> stephen: i didn't have enough coffee. >> can i drink this? >> stephen: sure.
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i'll take a sip at least. >> i think i need jeffrey to help me with this. >> stephen: is jeffrey there? >> he is. jeffrey? are you here? uh-oh. he's lurking around. i think this is a two-person cocktail, right? >> stephen: exactly. >> here's jeffrey. >> stephen: hey! jeffrey! good to see you. >> good to see you. >> do you want to see how we are so good together in quarantine. a stra for you. a stra for me. we're good. >> stephen: though, technically, i think the straws are supposed to be six feet long. >> this is good! that's good! yeah, that's really good. >> it's good, isn't it? >> stephen: now, this is a time of great anxiety for a lot of people. what do you do? what qawm calms you down? >> what do we do that calms us down? i think anything that makes you feel normal calms me down. like, we get in the car and we drive to the beach and listen to a podcast, you know. just take a ride or-- i don't
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know. >> watch a movie. >> watch a movie. like normal things. work during the day. i cook-- i cook breakfast-- i had no idea what this was going to be. fortunately, i like to cook. >> stephen: one of my favorite things about the hoe show, jeffrey, is when ina sends you on chores. what shores is she sending you to do now? >> now i can't. now i can't go out. >> that's his excuse-- "sorry, i can't do it." to the market to get bottles of water. okay, you're good. >> i'm good? good to see you. >> stephen: good to see you. >> stephen: bye, jeffrey. see you at the cheese shop. >> she's such a good sport. ina, i know you like to bake. are you baking anything new lately? >> well, you know, i'm working-- i have a book coming out in the fall appropriately called "modern comfort food."
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how is that for prescient. the two things in there i like the most are something i've worked on for years, literally years, boston cream pie. and i finally nailed it. >> stephen: i love boston scream creme by pye. >> i know. and it's usually boring, it's sweet and more sweet and vanilla and chocolate. so i made a really good one. >> stephen: please, save me a slice. >> what? >> stephen: save me a slice, please. >> i'll save you a slice. i know you're a good baker because you made me the most delicious apple raisin cookies after the first time i was on the show. i was so touched you did that. >> stephen: i'm so glad you liked them. i was a little nervous to send them out to ina garten. >> do you share the recipe? >> stephen: no, i can't remember it. >> they were really good. and it was the next morning. i couldn't believe you went home and baked cookies. >> stephen: i essentially was trying to make my own pop tarts. a lot of people are cooking with whatever is in their pantry right now. >> yeah. >> stephen: they're sort of rediscovering why they got those
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cans of can leany beans four years ago. >> so many beans. >> stephen: what are the stapleseb should have? name three things that people wouldn't think of but they should have to stretch their pantry. >> what's really important? certainly olive oil. all different kinds of pasta. canned tomatoes. you can make so many things with that. you can make soup. you can make pasta. you can mac make a frittata with spaghetti in it. i think those are the big ones. i started an instagram post saying what i'm cooking every day from the pantry. and people are sending in, what, do i do with the"-- you know "republicanner beans or red beans i hapantry?" everybody has beans but don't know what to do with them.
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>> stephen: carb i had draits are a great tranquilizer. ot all of these vegetables and healthy grains, and she went to the refrigerator, all she wanted was a grilled cheese sandwich. that's really what we want. >> stephen: ina, thank you so much. i can't wait to see you in person again. >> so great to see you. stay safe. have fun. and celebrate everything. >> stephen: ina garten, erybody! we'll ♪
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this virus is testing all of us. and it's testing the people on the front lines of this fight most of all. so abbott is getting new tests into their hands, delivering the critical results they need. and until this fight is over, we...will...never...quit. because they never quit.
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>> stephen: hey, everybody. well, everybody, that's it for "a late show." see you next week when i'll be joined by robert deniro, anderson cooper, and stephen king. now, let's say good night with some music from jon batiste. captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh ♪ ♪ ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late late show >> reggie: ladies and gentlemen, all the way from inside a


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