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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  October 29, 2020 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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these loosely assembled dog chews will make you drool. there will be so much bone-on-bone action, you will need an orthopedic surgeon to sort things out. you haven't seen anything like this since your last xxxray. and if you're into mature ladies, check out lucy, she's 3 million years old, and most of the pieces are still there. so, this halloween, come on down to the bone zone and witness the hottest bone action since you've made a hardy broth. >> announcer: it's a "late show" with stephen colbert. tonight, dressed for success. plus stephen welcomes julie andrews! and musical guest sam smith with a special appearance by amy walter, featuring jon batiste
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and "stay homin'." now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater office building in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hello! welcome to a "late show," i'm your host stephen colbert. i'm the luck just man on television. julie andrews is with us tonight. the presidential election is only five days away. to remember this, i wrote it down. but it looks like everyone's remembering this year because early turnout is at record levels and according to odds-makers, the 2020 election is the most bet-on event in history. that, i don't understand. are the stakes not high enough already, that you've got to bet on it, too? that's like your skydiving instructor saying: (as instructor) "before we jump, anyone want to place a bet on whether the chute opens? ten bucks, let's make it interesting."
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now, covid-19 is the biggest issue in this election, next to daddy issues. and covid cases are exploding all over the country, which brings us to tonight's installment of our possibly-running-'til-2022 segment, "catch a third wave: endless bummer." let me wash over you! oh, oh, sick! aaahhh! get out, get out! currently, cases are rising in more than 40 states, and when it comes to the west and midwest, the coronavirus task force warns of "unrelenting, broad community spread." also the theme of trump's campaign rallies. as the campaign draws to a close, trump and biden are pushing opposing pandemic strategies. biden is pushing viral containment, while trump is pushing your grandma into traffic. the differences are evident in
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their stump speeches. here's biden yesterday in the swing state of wilmington, delaware: >> even if i win, it is going to take a lot of hard work to end this pandemic. i am not running on a false promise of being able to end this pandemic by flipping a switch. >> stephen: he's right. we're not going to end this pandemic by flipping a switch. we're going to do it by pulling a lever. and then flipping the bird. meanwhile, trump's platform consists of nothing but false promises: >> a safe vaccine is coming very quickly. you're going to have it momentarily. >> stephen: momentarily. that's what they tell you when it's going to be a long time, but they don't want you to walk out of the olive garden. in fact, when you call the c.d.c., you get this message: >> thank you for calling the c.d.c., your lungs are important to us. please remain locked in your house and the vaccine will be with you in the order in which you were diseased. >> stephen: trump assured his supporters the pandemic is almost over: >> we're rounding the turn regardless. normal life will fully resume. that's what we want, right?
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normal life. we just want a normal life, like we had seven months ago. >> stephen: yeah, i miss those pre-pandemic days of waking up to find out what country he had blackmailed, which porn star he had paid off, and which hurricane he was threatening to nuke. you know, normal. trump thinks that the way forward is to achieve something called herd immunity, a terrible idea where the majority of the population catches the disease, millions die, but those who survive will be able to walk among us safely, as trump demonstrated with fellow super-spreader, rand paul: >> thank you. here's to immunity! >> to immune people! (laughs) ( laughter ) >> stephen: yes, the immune people. super douches who don't care if you live or die. they're the "echh men!" thank you madd magazine. strangely, trump's blatant
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disregard for human life seems to be hurting him with the key demographic of humans. the latest abc news/"washington post"/p.f. chang's great wall of chocolate poll shows that biden is leading trump by 17 points in wisconsin. 17? trump doesn't know whether to be worried about that lead, or start dating it. ( "groove is in the heart" ) >> he wishes you well ghislaine! >> stephen: it's not just wisconsin. trump is playing catch-up in lots of states he won in 2016. even though trump won it four years ago, biden holds a 48-44 lead in arizona. but it's a dry lead. anyway, yesterday, trump held a rally in the copper state, which i am being told arizona is, and he railed against the author of the 2018 anonymous "new york times" op-ed, saying trump was out of control, who we found out yesterday was some guy.
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>> he wrote a phony book, which if you heard about anonymous, it was like somebody that was right next to me. i thought it might have been hope hicks, who is right there. i thought it might have been jared. i thought it might have been mike lee. i was worried about the great state of utah. i was extremely worried about rand paul. maybe it was rand. >> stephen: that's a weird unforced error. (as trump) "now that the mystery's solved, i want to make it abundantly clear: i don't trust my son-in-law, or any of these people around me. they all know things that, if they spilled their guts, i'd be gone in a minute. it's a nest of highly knowledgable vipers. and i am just so thankful none of them has a conscience or i would be in real trouble. trump wasn't alone. he also brought some special guests, like minority leader, kevin mccarthy, who fantasized about taking back the house: >> i want you to watch nancy pelosi hand me that gavel, and i
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promise you this, i won't bang her with it, but i'll bang the end to the socialism. >> stephen: kevin, no one wants to hear who or what you're going to bang, okay? we also don't want to hear about you licking communism, or how medicare for all is "going down." it's coronavirus, okay? stay home and bang your own gavel. with the zoom off. trump also welcomed up arizona senator martha mcsally. they have a tricky relationship. because trump isn't too popular in arizona, she's been hesitant to fully endorse him. let's see if he noticed: >> martha mcsally. martha. ( cheers ) great. great, martha, great. martha, come up. just fast. quick, quick. fast. fast, come on, quick. you got one minute. one minute, martha. they don't want to hear this martha, come on, let's go. quick, quick, quick, quick.
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>> stephen: that is rude but also kind of refreshing. usually, it's the woman who's telling trump to hurry up and get it over with. trump really has a lot of territory to defend, because "joe biden is making a late stage play for texas." (as biden) "that's right, we're goin' for it, jack! everything's bigger in texas! remember the alamo... also, remember where i put my glasses-- never mind, they're in front of my eyes. always the last place you look. come on!" give me some of that big toast, huh? joe could get texas! that would be so unexpected, but so great! like if bradley cooper and lady gaga became a real couple. we all wanted it so bad! they almost kissed at the oscars! they could've danced to "shallow" at their own wedding! come on, i'm off the deep end! that deep end line got added
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after i left the room. i like it but that came as a surprise. but if biden doesn't snag texas, the electoral map could come down to pennsylvania, which is why trump is making a huge effort there to get out the vote. i'm sorry, i misread that. uh, "throw out" the vote. because, trailing in the polls "in pennsylvania, trump's campaign is trying to make voting harder." and it's already hard enough there. in some parts of pennsylvania, there's nose-to-tail buggy traffic before you even get to the voting barn. which you have to raise! trump's team is trying to stop the state from counting absentee and mail-in votes, presenting garbage evidence of voter fraud like this. during the democratic primary, a man named adam goodman posted this photo on instagram, in which he proudly held up two mail-in ballots outside a drop box. ah-hah? uh-uh. because one of those belonged to his husband, standing out of frame. nevertheless, he soon found that the picture had been included in litigation the trump campaign filed against philadelphia.
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that's right. the trump campaign is scanning instagram to try to shut down voting. (as lawyer) "your honor, as you can see in exhibit a, just before halloween, the defendant's dog put on a clever astronaut disguise, obviously in order to vote illegally from dog-space." feeling anxious about tuesday's upcoming election? as i am? well, you're not alone. according to a recent study, nearly 70% of u.s. adults say the presidential election is a significant source of stress. it's okay. just take deep cleansing breaths to forget about this election and start focusing on how much coronavirus you just inhaled. and democrats aren't the only ones worried. according to one mental health expert, although the specific concerns do differ based on political leaning, the feelings that are coming up don't. which is why there's suddenly a groundswell of support for third party ticket, prozac-ambien 2020: make america what were we talking about again?
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that's what's going on up here in the old squirrel cage. oh, wait. what am i reading? who are you? why am i not in the theater? what's going on? two researchers have developed a measure called the political stress indicator, which is actually higher now than it was before the civil war. matter of fact, we're so close to a civil war that ken burns is already making the documentary: ♪ ♪ >> my dearest martha, how i miss you. i have spent seven long months in marinara-stained sweatpants, unable to leave my house. i'm passing the hours worrying about undecided voters in central florida and doom-scrolling on twitter. send nudes, eggplant emoji, peach emoji. >> stephen: but if you're feeling hopeless, there might be another way to perk up. experts say that it may be more productive to focus on action, shifting the question from
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"should i hope?" to "what can i do?" what you can do is vote. and if you want to find out how, whether it's handing in your absentee ballot, in person at this point, please, or voting early, or voting in person on election day, visit our website betterknowaballot.com, where you can find out how to vote in your state. do it quick. you only have five days left. we've got a great show for you tonight, julie andrews is here. but when we come back, biden leads in the polls. what does that mean? stick around. ♪ ♪ ♪ never run dry of killer attitude. good moves. or hydration.
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official ballot drop box near need to fiyou?he closest just visit vote.ca.gov to find your nearest location. then drop off your ballot. your vote will be secure and counted. there are other ways to vote too. just return your vote-by-mail ballot at your voting location or mail it back. or you can vote safely in-person during early voting or on election day. vote the way you're most comfortable - but vote by 8pm on november 3rd.
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♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hello, friends and neighbors. welcome back. quick reminder, everybody: next tuesday we will be live over on showtime, for what we're calling "stephen colbert's election night 2020: special democracy's last stand: building back america great again better 2020." as i was saying back in the monologue, the president's message of "a covid in every pot" is not polling great, and things are looking pretty good for joe biden. currently, 538's election projection says the chances of biden winning the election are 89%, and only 11% for donald trump; and the economist has biden at 96%. so, that's great.
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i'm happy? funny, this feels so familiar. >> multiple outlets do predict a clinton win. we have the "new york times" putting that chance at 88%. >> donald trump is not going to be president of the united states. >> i continue to believe mr. tump-- trump-- will not be president. >> pokemon go to the polls. >> stephen: ugh! what happened? is the election over yet? snap out of it, colbert. don't believe in the polls. you promised yourself after the last election, you would not "pokemon go" down that road again. and i'm not alone with the pre-election yips. all over the country, democrats "are refusing to allow themselves any smidgen of optimism," saying they "trust no one." the paranoia is so bad i can't even pick a mouthwash-- i don't care what four out of five dentists recommend! what's that fifth one know that i don't? experts say that we need hope
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for the future to help ward off this anxiety, however, some americans say they're too afraid to hope. this is likely a protective mechanism in response to the 2016 election. it feels like we're all charlie brown, going to kick the football, but we know at the last second, lucy's going to give us coronavirus. so can we trust the polls? or are we trapped in an unknowable universe of chaos? here to either calm me down or stoke my anxiety, please welcome national editor of "the cook political report" and polling expert, amy walter. amy, thank you so much for being here. >> well thanks for having me. >> stephen: now the 2016 ptsd is real. >> it is. >> stephen: remind all of us what went wrong, in retrospect? what went wrong with those polling probability predictions, whatever you want to call them, and how that's all fixed now. >> right. so i don't know that i can tell you that everything's fixed and
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better because polling in and of itself isn't per feck, right. we all know that there's error. >> stephen: the famous margin of error. >> the famous margin of error, that is true and is going all the way back to the '70s. you know, the 538 folks went back and they looked at this election and compared it to previous elections, and the average error at the national and state polls was pretty much in line with errors we've seen in previous elections. the difference, and you pointed to it, stephen, was the -- those, you know, prediction model also that gave these numbers, like 88 or 72 or 67, or whatever the different numbers are. >> stephen: or right now at 538's got it 89 out of 100 for biden, 11, the economists, 94% or 96 or something like that. >> i don't think the problem is their probabilities, i think the problem is the way that we as people try to work with
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probabilities. we're not always that good about it. it's why gambling works really well and people lose a lot of money because we tend to focus on that big number, right. thrls an 80% chance -- there's an 80% chance i could win all of this, great, but there's also a 20% chance that you're going to lose. so i think we spent most of 2016 focused on the 80% or whatever number that was that said hurricane was going to win, and -- that said hillary clinton was going to win, an now we're spending all the time on the 20% chance that trump will win. we have to find balance there with the models. >> stephen: why shouldn't we look at that? because by looking at the bigger number, we all got burned. even trump got burned helpful didn't think he was going to win. what about the shy, silent trump voters we hear so much about that are there, pollsters can't find them but they come out of
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the woods and vote at the last minute? >> so do you believe polls have a hard time capturing all the people who are going to go out and vote, all kinds of people, especially those people who don't traditionally come out and vote? yes. are there shy voters, poll terrace who are ashamed to say they will vote for donald trump but they hang up and lie and say they are going to vote for joe biden? no. if you drive through the country and see all the lawn science, they aren't shy about donald trump, they are very proud to tell you that they are voting for them. it's that they may not end up in a poll because they don't tend to be the kinds of folks who are picking up the phone to talk to pollsters or to answer mail surveys or to answer, you know, an internet survey. so they're harder to find, but so are other low propence pi voters like younger voters or younger voters of color.
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so as we have a turnout that we're expected to have that's going to go through the roof, all kinds of people are going to show up this year that may not have voted in the last election. >> stephen: what polls or what data out there do you trust most to indicate what may happen on tuesday and beyond? >> yeah, so i think it's keeping a range of things is really important. never pick out just one poll. look at averages, don't cherry pick. but the other thing is i look at a president's job approval rating. this is so different from 2016. he is not a candidate, donald trump is now the president, and we know that approval ratings, the way that people feel about the job the president's doing have been pretty predictive in the past for how many votes that candidate, that president will get in reelection or the margin will be in the reelection. so few go back and look at where
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previous presidents were going into their first term ereelection, their final job approval rating was really close to the final vote share that they got. and this is where donald trump has a huge challenge ahead of him. right now, if you look at that 538 average, his job approval rating on average is somewhere around 43%, and the percent of the vote he's getting right now in that 538 average is around 43, 44%. >> stephen: okay. o those two things line up. and it makes some sense, right, that if you like the job that the president is doing, you're probably going to vote for the president. if you don't like the job the president is doing you will probably vote for the other person. >> stephen: last question -- maybe. what's going to happen? >> you can't do that to me. >> stephen: yes, i can. people call me all the time. people called me today who should know better and say, okay, you've got to know something, what's happening?
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i said, i just watch tv, i don't know what's happening. but you, amy, you've got to know something. >> we watch so many things. well, we do, we know everything, we just can't tell you, it's part of our contract, we're not allowed to tell you all of that. >> stephen: on election night do we need the know who won that night? >> of course not. there's no -- >> stephen: the president and brett kavanaugh says we do. >> well, there's nothing in the constitution that says we need to have the answer to who won. in fact, every single state election official will tell you, we're going to do all that we can to make sure we have an accurate count, but there's nothing that tells us we have to have it done on election night. election night is a creation of all of us who work in the political news business, but it's not necessarily what needs to happen. actually, legally, it doesn't need to happen. >> stephen: okay, good. that's good to know. well, amy, thank you so much for
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being here. thank you for telling me what's going to happen when we get off the air. national editor of "the cook political report," amy walter everybody! we'll be right back with julie andrews. ♪ ♪ ♪ up at 2:00am again? tonight, try pure zzzs all night. unlike other sleep aids, our extended release melatonin helps you sleep longer. and longer. zzzquil pure zzzs all night. fall asleep. stay asleep.
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we knew that this was really, really bad. we had ample forewarning. but we did almost no testing, almost no contact tracing. completely ignored the science, completely ignored the warning signs. there were things that could have been done. a lot of people have died needlessly, and there's nothing more frustrating than feeling like you're fighting against someone who should have your back. we are not going to stamp this out unless we have a change of leadership. ff pac is responsible for the content of this ad. is now even more powerful. the stronger, lasts-longer energizer max.
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>> stephen: welcome back, everybody. somewhere in my youth or childhood, i must have done something good, because here i am, standing here saying my next guest is julie andrews! julie, so lovely to see you again. thanks for being here. >> hello, stephen. very nice to be here, too. >> stephen: you have been very busy -- new podcast, new netflix series. how are you adapting to working from home?
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>> well, it's very very convenient. first of all, how lucky i am to be working at this time on projects that we can do and working from home has been quite fun because i tried for the podcasts particularly which we're thrilled about, tried to make the first few from our wonderful, local studio here on the island, but eventually everything got shut down. so my wonderful grandson who's an engineering whiz and into everything, film, cameras, television, built me a sound room in my closet. >> stephen: i think this might be it. >> that's it! >> stephen: that's it right there. >> julie's sound booth, yes. it's filled with pillows, as you can see, blankets, padding on the walls and towels behind it, and it's quite hot in there. but then my daughter emma, with
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whom i work, she has one in her house down the road, so that both of us go into our closets, and it's been rather fun and silly. >> stephen: one of your if not your first, was eliza doolittle our first broadway role or one of your first. >> no, the first was a show that came from england and we were a brand-new company that brought it over called "the boyfriend," a 1920s sort of little pesti che of the times, a silly story but very sweet and then "my fair lady" and then "camelot." >> stephen: this story might be available in the book now available in paperback, homework, a memoir of hollywood years, and you learned how to basically break down and approach a character by doing eliza doolittle. how did that come about?
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that wasn't necessarily smething that came naturally to you. >> well, i mean, no. first of all, the musical part of the show i could pretty much manage vocally, but -- >> stephen: we noticed. thank you. but, honestly, that was a huge role. i mean, it was everything from screaming as eliza and the accent and growing and learning about good diction and language and so on and huge songs. so i also had no idea how to do george bernard shaw, as you would say here in america, and i really was horrible when we first began rehearsals. and i know our leading man rich harrison was not at all happy with me or my performance, and a wonderful director who was the great man said we're going to
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spend a weekend together, and we're going to break down the whole script and everything. so we went into the theater, and he -- he pleaded, cajoled and showed me and by the end of the weekend, i had it at least 50%. i thought i was going to be sent home at first, but, of course, over the years, and i did do it for a very long time, over the years, i was able to reel learn ththe ins and outs. alex who wrote "my fair lady" said it's good to do a long run in one piece rather than a lot of repertoire in many pieces. you know how to know the laughs and pull the audience in and no matter what the weather is you know what to do and it's a wonderful learning exercise to keep it fresh and do it every night, and i did it altogether
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for about, believe it or not, about three and a half years between america and england. >> stephen: eight shows a week, i'm guessing. >> you bet. >> stephen: oh, my gosh. it took its toll. >> stephen: yes. but what a beginning experience. i mean, who's luckier than i to have that to begin with. >> stephen: i want to talk about the transition from theater to film, for that matter anything that's captured on even video, is that not that i've had your career, but i started off in live theater, and if you have a good show, you could -- i would run something for over a year, and then -- >> where was that, stephen? >> stephen: that was in chicago. that was in chicago. >> okay. >> stephen: i did straight theater and i was a member of the second city for many years there. >> of course, i didn't realize that. >> stephen: then when i would work in television you world work just as hard to get the script right and just shoot it once. >> far less time and far bigger
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audience and it's so crazy. >> stephen: it is. what did it feel like the first time they said it's right, yo ls move on, after you dove into the character for years? >> i think the pleasant thing about filmmaking is it's shot in tiny segments, and you don't start at the beginning and go all the way to the end as you would, obviously, in a show, so you have time to work it in, but it's all out of sequence. the other thing is that, on stage, you are all the time in full theater, but, of course, in film you could be a waist shot, a closeup on the giant cinema scope screen or something, and there's a lot of new things to learn, and i had some wonderful mentors helping me, as i began the film. >> stephen: i understand the very first -- i understand from the book that your very first line you ever had to say on film made you tremendously nervous and was a very simple line in
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"mary poppins." >> it was so simple that i couldn't think of how to do it and dick van dyke, my parner on that particular shot, said something like, you look very pretty today mary poppins, and all i had to do was walk past him and say, oh, do you really think so?anught, open your mout, julie, just say it. i do really think so. anyway. >> stephen: let's see how you feebly landed it. >> mary poppins, you look beautiful! >> do you really think so? cross me heart you do. like the day i met ya. >> stephen: you nailed it, kid, you're a natural! madame, we have to take a quick break, but we'll be right back. ladies and gentlemen, with more julie andrews. ♪ ♪ ♪ chances are you have some questions right now here are a couple answers...
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i never said it but... (dramatic crying) whoa! did sven-rod just die? yeah can you do it again? sure, sure i always loved you... oh man... missed it again . alexa, rewind 10 seconds.
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in california, we're the only state where wealthy trust fund heirs get their own tax loophole.
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these tax cheats avoid millions in taxes on vacation homes and coastal mansions depriving our schools. prop 19 closes this unfair loophole that's been exploited by an elite few and helps our schools, firefighters, and seniors. vote 'yes' on prop 19. tell them [record scratch] the party's over. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody. we're back with the author of "home work," julie andrews. now, in addition to being a celebrated actor and the author of, once again, this book, "home work: a memoir of my hollywood years," you've written more than 20 books over the years, including children's stories and children's novels, and even some
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poetry. what role has poetry played in your life? because i love it. i find it incredibly soothing an energizing. >> you've done fun things with poetry, too. i know you love it because when i have been on with you before, we've played at poetry in a way. >> stephen: yes. but it is so beautiful, and it's so much the essence is ate willle bit like the lyrics in songs, and it's so clear and pure, and i do love it. i'm pretty simplistic, i suppos, but, you know, i work with my daughter emma, and 90% of the books that we've done together including this one that you're showing is -- was helped eenormously by her, and she was the one that made me write it and co-authored it with me and guided me along. couldn't have done it without her, and i don't think -- or i don't want to write with anybody else but her because we finish each other's sentences and we
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laugh a lot and have a good time. but she's the nuts and bolts of our little company, and i'm sort of those silly flights of fancy and the good openings and the ends of the chapter and that kind of thing. >> stephen: the last time we were together we did "the king's breakfast," and this time i thought we could do something original for each other and i suggested perhaps we could write limb risk for each other. >> right. >> stephen: i wonder whether you were able to prepare one for our audience tonight? >> i was able to try, and i don't know how much of a good limerick it is, but i did write one for you, too. >> stephen: i have one, too. ladies first? >> i don't mind. no, i'll go last. >> stephen: okay. i've got one. this is a limerick inspired by julie andrews. >> jules is what it is. >> stephen: dame jules, all right.
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you're a legend of stage and screen, you were even made came by the queen. today we're on zoom but we'll be in the same room when we're done with this damn quarantine. >> perfect! perfect! ( laughter ) you were hard to write for, stephen, and you damn near gave the whole thing away earlier in this show, but here's mine to you. with apologies to the great limerick writer in the ski. sky. a late night tv host name colbert dressed from the waist up with boldnary, wha -- bold f, what the camera won't show is the view from below and it's rather a sight to behold there. ( laughter ) >> stephen: that is the spirit of limericks, a little scandalous. >> a lot of them as you well
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know are scandalous and can be very, very funny. >> stephen: i teach sunday school jules. >> did you think that was risque? >> stephen: i think a -- (speaking french) -- of naughtiness. >> it was simply referring to your socks. >> stephen: thank you. the book "home work" is now available in paperback. dame julie andrews, everybody! we'll be right back with a performance by sam smith. thank you, jules. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ hear what's never been heard. feel what's never been felt. we are all explorers,
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reporter gets flirty. >> why did you bring anum bra. because he goes on tv and -- that was so much spin! make sure you wash your hand, this is a very diseased man. we might have to amputate your hand, honestly. this changes your molecular structure. your life is different now. don't touch anything, don't talk to anyone. like you might have to live on a hill. ♪ ♪ ♪ ry is now even more powerful. the stronger, lasts-longer energizer max. laso you can enjoy it even ifst, you're sensitive. se. ger yet some say it isn't real milk. i guess those cows must actually be big dogs. sit! i said sit!
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yeah. ok. if you're in a horror movie, you make poor decisions. it's what you do. this was a good idea. shhhh. i'm being quiet. you're breathing on me! if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. let's go to the cemetery! vicks vapopatch. easy to wear with soothing vicks vapors for her, for you, for the whole family. trusted soothing vapors, from vicks woman: after covid, my hours got so we can't pay our bills. and now our family budget is gonna be hit hard with prop 15. the yes on 15 ads say it only raises taxes on big corporations. that's not true - we're all going to pay. $11 billion in new property taxes
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will get passed on to small businesses and farms. they'll raise prices... ...higher gas, health care, food...even day care. we can't make ends meet now. families can't afford 15. no on prop 15. >> stephen: and now performing "diamonds" from their forthcoming album "love goes," please welcome sam smith. ♪ ♪ ♪ have it all rip our memories off the wall ♪ all the special things i bought ♪ they mean nothing to me anymore
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♪ but to you they were everything we were ♪ they meant more than every word ♪ now i know just what you love me for, mmm ♪ take all the money you want from me ♪ hope you become what you want to be ♪ show me how little you care how little you care ♪ how little you care you dream of glitter and gold ♪ my heart's already been sold show you how little i care ♪ how little i care how little i care ♪ my diamonds leave with you you're never gonna hear ♪ my heart break never gonna move in dark ways ♪ baby, you're so cruel my diamonds leave with you ♪ material love won't fool me when you're not here ♪ i can't breathe think i always knew ♪ my diamonds leave with you diamonds, diamonds diamonds, diamonds ♪ shake it off shake the fear of feeling lost ♪ always me that pays the cost i should never trust so easily ♪ you lied to me
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lie-lied to me ♪ then left with my heart 'round your chest ♪ take all the money you want from me ♪ hope you become what you want to be ♪ show me how little you care how little you care ♪ how little you care you dream of glitter and gold ♪ my heart's already been sold show you how little i care ♪ how little i care how little i care ♪ my diamonds leave with you you're never gonna hear ♪ my heart break never gonna move in dark ways ♪ baby, you're so cruel my diamonds leave with you ♪ material love won't fool me when you're not here ♪ i can't breathe think i always knew ♪ my diamonds leave with you diamonds, diamonds diamonds, diamonds ♪ woah-oh woah-oh ♪ always knew my diamonds leave with you ♪ woah-oh
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woah-oh ♪ always knew ♪ you're never gonna hear my heart break ♪ never gonna move in dark ways baby, you're so cruel ♪ my diamonds leave with you material love won't fool me ♪ when you're not here i can't breathe ♪ think i always knew my diamonds leave with you oh ♪ you're never gonna hear my heart break ♪ never gonna move in dark ways baby, you're so cruel ♪ my diamonds leave with you material love won't fool me ♪ when you're not here i can't breathe ♪ think i always knew my diamonds leave with you ♪ diamonds, diamonds diamonds, diamonds ♪ woah-oh woah-oh ♪ always knew my diamonds leave with you ♪ woah-oh woah-oh
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♪ always knew my diamonds leave with you ♪ >> stephen: sam smith, everybody. check out another song from them, as well as other great performances in our play-at-home series, online at colbertlateshow.com. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ ♪
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>> stephen: that's it for "a late show." tune in tomorrow for a rare friday show, when my guest will be neil degrasse tyson, with a surprise appearance by jon stewart. please remember to be surprised. james corden is next, but first, let's say good night with some music from jon batiste and stay human. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by cbs ♪ the late late show, oh, oh the late late show, ooh ♪ the late late show, oh, oh the late late show ♪ oh, oh it's the late late show ♪

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