captioning sponsored by cbs >> a republican legislator wants to make deer cloning legal. according to reports, a texas rancher has been cloning deer in order to grow bigger game for deep-pocketed customers willing to pay over $10,000 to shoot them. the propsed law would legalize deer cloning to help in that endeavor. ♪ ♪ ♪ walt disney is proud to present, "bambi returns: the clone wars," the heartwarming tale of simple texas hunters, in their quest for bigger things to shoot, clone a freak of nature. >> your genetic interference has made me a fiend. i will exact my revenge! >> they couldn't leave nature alone. >> oh, my god! i just wanted something to shoot

and hang on on the wall! aaaahhh! >> how could amateurs engaging in genetic engineering go so wrong? >> do you feel lucky, punk? well, do you? ♪ ♪ ♪ >> this story will have your whole family laughing, and asking "why has god forsaken us?" "bambi returns: the clone wars." and coming soon, "lion king 2: zombie mufasa." >> announcer: it's "a late show with stephen colbert." tonight: plus stephen welcomes ed helms and susan page featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater office building in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome to "a late show."

i am your host, stephen colbert. americans are still emotionally processing yesterday's verdict by a minnesota jury that found derek chauvin guilty on three counts in the murder of george floyd. it brings up a lot of complex feelings, because no jury verdict can bring george floyd back, but the news of this accountability was celebrated across the nation, in minnesota... new york and... >> lets get together and feel all right. >> stephen: ...across the street from the white house, in black lives matter plaza, where people were dancing and crying with relief. what a difference 11 months make. last time they were crying from tear gas and rubber bullets. now, the problem of police violence against people of color is still far from solved. while this is a welcome verdict, it's like wiping up a spill on the "titanic": good job. now let's focus on the water around our ankles. president biden addressed it last night: >> let's also be clear, such a verdict is also much too rare.

for so many people, it seems like it took a unique and extraordinary convergence of factors. >> stephen: yeah, it should not take nine minutes of damning video to get some accountability. there's a reason the "pledge of allegiance" doesn't say, "with liberty and justice for all... who are being filmed on an iphone. otherwise, sucks to be you!" in fact, holding police accountable is so rare that chauvin's conviction was the first time in minnesota history that a white police officer was convicted of killing a black civilian on the job. for more context on how rare this decision is, we turn now to "late show" resident american historian, professor john thibodeaux. thanks for being here, john. >> salutations, steve. >> stephen: john, i know you're one of my writers. when did you become a historian? >> when i bought this vest. >> stephen: okay, well, looking at this trial, having seen that terrible tape, i never doubted for a moment that chauvin would be found guilty. did you?

>> yes, more than a moment. >> stephen: why? >>toy? >> allf it. >> stephen: well, you're the one with the pipe. but i was pretty confident. was i being naive? >> no, you were being white. >> stephen: okay, that checks out. >> that's also why you wear fleece vests and own a boat. >> stephen: i was wondering. hey, i gotta ask-- did your pipe get bigger? >> yes, it did. this is the pipe i use on 4/20, >> stephen: it's 4/21, john. >> well, it's a big pipe. and i've almost cached it. >> stephen: historian john thibodeaux, everybody. speaking of people facing consequences for criminal actions, the f.b.i. continues to track down capitol rioters. and i'll give you the latest in tonight's "seditionist round-up roundup."

>> you can run, but you can't raw hide!" >> stephen: tonight, we focus on kentucky resident and ski lodge slenderman, stephen chase randolph. randolph was captured on video during the riot as he knocked over a u.s. captiol police officer, causing her head to hit the stairs behind her, resulting in a loss of consciousness." yes, but matt gaetz has just floated the theory that the stairs were antifa. people on the internet saw images of randolph at the insurrection and dubbed him "gray carhartt hat," based on his knit cap. yes, internet sleuths are nicknaming insurrectionists after what they wore, which is embarrassing for #obvious spanx guy. the f.b.i. identified randolph from his girlfriend's instagram posts using facial-recognition software. it was pretty easy for the software to find him, nser stagram contained a photo o randolph wearing the same gray hat with

so he wore his trademark hat to the riot. it's the easiest crime the f.b.i. has had to solve since they caught this endangered- animal smuggler. the feds went all out to make sure they had the right guy. two f.b.i. agents went undercover at randolph's work, and he told them that "it was (bleep) fun" to be a part of the mob, and opined that the capitol police officer he pushed down to the ground "likely had a concussion." well, it's clear that someone in this story has brain damage. oh, speaking of little pricks, americans continue to get vaccinated at unprecedented rates, and i'll fill you in on the latest in tonight's installment of "the vax-scene." ( singing to "william tell overture" ) ♪ get a shot get a shot ♪ get a vaccine shot ♪ ♪ get a shot get a shot ♪ get a vaccine shot ♪ ♪ get a shot get a shot ♪ get a vaccine shot ♪ ♪ get your vaccine, vaccine, vaccine shot. ♪ get a shot get a shot

♪ get a vaccine shot ♪ ♪ get a shot ( gasping ) >> is it over?! >> stephen: my sentiments exactly. so far, half of american adults have received at least one shot, and among countries in the world, the united states is first in total vaccinations. whoooo! we're number one, baby! we're number one! >> side effects of the vaccine may include spontaneous number shouting and giant foam finger. >> stephen: but we've got long way to go before we don't have to stand a long way away from each other. currently, just over a quarter of the population is fully vaccinated, but to suppress the spread of the virus, experts say that somewhere between 70% to 85% of the country needs to be immune to the virus. 70% of americans don't agree on anything. to get that many people to want the shot, they're going to have to introduce the new deep-fried, flavor-blasted pfizer, now in blazin' buffalo mouth massacre. sounds spicy.

it's not going to be easy. in the latest axios/ipsos/hungry hungry hippos poll, the majority of respondents say they were already vaccinated, but of those who weren't, more than half of them said they probably weren't going to get it. and by "it," i assume a grasp on reality. though, without a vaccine, another thing they might not get? old. this afternoon, president biden tried to make it easier for people who cannot miss work to get the vaccine. >> i'm calling on every employer, large and small, in every state to give employees the time off they need, with pay, to get vaccinated and any time they need with pay to recover if they're feeling this afternoon-- speaking of old-- president biden under the weather after the shot. >> stephen: that is the right thing to do. hey, come to think of it, i got my second dose last week, and (coughs) i'm feeling a little under the weather,

viacom-cbs-paramount+, maybe i should head home and get some shut-eye. what's that? i'm lying, and i have to keep doing the show? okay, fine. of course, it wouldn't be a joe biden speech if he didn't toss in a little old gaffe. >> patty young owns a hair salon in springfield, ohio. she's also dedicated to getting her customers and employees vaccinated, that when they leave the saloon, receptionists-- the saloon-- the salon. they may be going to a saloon. i don't know. ( laughter ) "they may be going to a saloon. i always stop there after visiting the blacksmith. then i pop by the cobbler and take the trolley home. all for a nickel! all aboard!" ( laughter ) 95 fails to remind us he is crowned with many winters. but biden may not be the guy to convince a large number of those people, because 44% of republicans say they do not

intend to get vaccinated. okay, how about this, republicans, a vaccine arms your immune system with little medicine guns! pew pew! the vaccine builds a wall against virus caravans which are trying to cancel your culture of continuing to be alive! jon voight, chick-fil-a! there might be one way to convince these anti-vaxxers. a recent poll found one in five vaccine-hesitant republicans said an endorsement by the former president would spur them to get immunized. that's a long shot. ol' "drinks with two hands" isn't going to waste his endorsement power on a live- saving vaccine. he saves that for important stuff, like casinos, steaks, bottled water, neckties, wine, golf courses, and accused child sex traffickers. of course, the commander in cheese did get vaccinated back in january, secretly, even though there was a push inside the white house to get him to do it on camera. but his aides shot that down, saying, "have you ever seen him

wear a short sleeved shirt in public? i don't think that's going to happen,'" so nearly half of america could be embracing the vaccines if he wasn't too vain to show a little saggy shoulder-boob. also, i want to point out that it's not the short "sleeves" that are the biggest problem. there's big science news out of texas, where a republican state legislator wants to legalize deer cloning. i have very strong opinions about deer cloning, and i am about to find out what they are in my new, long-running segment: ( echo ) let's get bucked up! >> stephen: public domain music! this fight going down in the lone star state involves a lawmaker who is accusing state wildlife officials of undermining breeders' attempts to spawn big bucks with a regulation forbidding deer cloning. why would anyone in texas want

to clone deer? why would anyone in texas want to clone deer? well, in texas, there's big -- i didn't read it the right wy the first time you see. i had to go back and get the right inflection, because inflection means a lot? ( laughter ) you see, down in texas, there's big business in shooting animals at private ranches, and the ranchers want to boost their business with the most impressive bucks with towering racks that fetch the highest prices. "impressive racks"? is this a ranch or a deer brothel? "come on down to boom-boom bambi's! home of the buxom bucks! bring your rifle, or your penis, which you pretend is rifle." and the cat is already out of the bag-- and by "cat," i mean deer, and by "bag," i mean synthetic deer uterus-- because one texas rancher says he's cloned somewhere between 35 and 40 deer over the past decade.

so there are a bunch of deer clones out there already? you know what this means: texas is about to open deerassic park. don't move, or they'll nibble your hydrangeas! we've got a great show for you tonight. my guests are ed helms and the author of "madam speaker," susan page. but when we come back, gwyneth paltrow's goop has some great ideas for how to ruin your mother's day. stick around. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ why do you build me up ♪ ♪ (build me up) ♪ ♪ buttercup, baby ♪ ♪ just to let me down ♪ ♪ (let me down) ♪ ♪ and mess me around ♪ ♪ and then worst of all ♪ ♪ (worst of all) ♪ ♪ you never call, baby ♪ ♪ when you... ♪ ♪ say you will... ♪ carl. what have you done?

think anyone will notice? yes. yeah. if you ride, you get it. yeah, they will. geico motorcycle. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. new crest pro-health complete protection kills 99% of bacteria. plus, it works around... ...and around... ...and around the clock. crest pro-health complete protection gives you 24-hour protection. crest. the #1 toothpaste brand in america. this is a gamechanger, who dares to be fearless even when her bladder leaks.

our softest, smoothest fabric keeping her comfortable, protected, and undeniably sleek. depend. the only thing stronger than us, is you. at panera, we make dinner easy... and cheesy. order our delicious mac and cheese for dinner tonight with delivery or pick-up. only at panera. ♪♪ breakfast in bed isn't for everyone. treat mom to something she'll really love this mother's day... save on the best active brands and get free store pickup. kohl's. before, we'd always be late, and on empty. now we're just late. kids! before, no one used to listen to me! hello id? i'm cold! before, we couldn't take in the sweet sounds of nature.

y.geas tours. the all-new, all-electric volkswagen id.4. does your vitamin c last twenty-four hours?

only nature's bounty does. new immune twenty-four hour plus has longer lasting vitamin c. plus, herbal and other immune superstars. only from nature's bounty. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. let's say hello to jon batiste.

jon, okay, we're t-minus 4 on the oscars. i know you've been sequestered out there. you've been in quarantine. did you get to venture out in los angeles yet? >> and we have these tests you have to stick them so far up your nose, so every day i have a good little cleaning happening. >> stephen: scrape away some memories of third grade or something, nothing you necessarily need? >> jon: yeah, yeah. but i'm stepping out. i get to step out tomorrow, and then i'll be checking out some things, some parties and things here and there. >> stephen: well, the good news is that-- is this true-- los angeles right now has the lowest infection rate in the united states. >> jon: yeah, that's right. it's the lowest infection rate. people are doing it right-- wearing the mask, you know, getting the vaccine. let's do it, man. let's get this thing. >> stephen: do you have any music that could possibly inspire people to go get the vaccine, to do the right thing? >> jon: oh, my goodness. do it! let's see...

♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: you heard the piano. roll up your sleeves. >> jon: come on, let's get it! >> stephen: jon batiste, everybody. see you, jon. folks, mother's day is this sunday. freaked you out, didn't i? no, it's in a couple weeks, but now you've been warned. so there's still time to avoid having to beg your brother to say that that bubble salts are from all of us. and this year, if you want to order something extra special in advance, there is no one more willing to help than lifestyle guru and woman who can't wait to tell you about restorative drowning, gwyneth paltrow. because gwyneth has recently dropped the goop mother's day gift guide, and a goop gift is the best way to tell mom that even though you still live in

her basement, for some reason, you have a ridiculous amount of disposable income. it features gifts like this $65,000 sensory pod, which its creator describes as "an endless cylindrical impressive experience." good, because you don't want to give mom an infinite rectangular disappointing occurrence. in case, for some reason, you need more clarification, here's the pod in action, graphics and all, where you are being encouraged to "design your dreams." and what better dream is there than the one where you're trapped inside a giant ipad that costs the down payment on a house? and it's not just humans who like to feel special. why not help mom's fine- feathered friends with this $800 bespoke birdhouse that's designed by douglas barnhard and inspired by the 1960's eichler subdivsion known as fairhaven? because a crow's first question is always "wait, which 1960s eichler subdivision was this we talking about here?

fairhaven? great. i can crap in that." her goopiness also recommends this $149 vibrator necklace for the horny mom on the go. what with doctors' appointments and work, sometimes mom just has no other choice but to excuse herself during book club to rub one out in carol's bathroom. and if you're more interested in giving mom an experience she'll never forget, why not give her a $6,300 per-person trip to kyrgyzstan, riding horses in the magnificent tien shan mountains with a relative of leo tolstoy. "happy mother's day, mom! we're shipping you to the former soviet union to hang out with somebody else's kid! maybe tolstoy's fifth cousin can teach you how to log into netflix." as always, goop has really come through with some seriously goopid ideas, and daddy wants in, which is why my own -end lifestyle brand, covetton house, is proud to introduce its own mother's day collection:

mothertton house. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> baroque simplicity. shabby elegance. give me money. covetton house. >> stephen: welcome to mothertton where we know you love your mother a ton. looking to give mom a present she'll never forget? introducing the mothertton sensory pod, where she will be comfortably seated in one of our 50-gallon wellness recycling bins. her road to relaxation begins when we deposit her bin on a window-washing platform and hoist her before a billboard in times square for a massively immersive non-liable happenstance. mom can finally design her dreams when her skull is six inches from a 200-foot l.e.d. screen showing the "mortal kombat" trailer on a loop, $72,000-- mom retrieval not included. if you want to make sure mom's fulfilled in every possible way,

why not get her our $2,500 vibrator tiara. yasss, peen! it's a look that says, "in order to achieve orgasm, i have to forget my kids gave me this." perhaps your special mom is tired of watching birds peck pellets from some peasant's box with a hole in it. it's time to treat her with mothertton's one-of-a-kind bugatti chiron bird feeder. inspired by us wanting $3 million, this $3 million bird house provides birds with a massive 16-cylinder engine, four turbochargers, does zero to 60 in 2.3 seconds, with a top speed of 260 miles per hour. now, you might be saying, "stephen, that's just a bugatti chiron filled with 500 pounds of hardware store bird seed." finally, if your mom is looking for something more experiential, for a mere $630,000, mothertton will take her on a tour of the siberian peninsula on the back of a wounded bear, guided by

none other than roger dostoyevsky-- no relation. while roger's not a blood relative of fyodor, his 17 years spent in russian gulags have made him intimately familiar with both crime and punishment. all you need to bring is your sense of adventure. roger provides de bear and despair. we'll be right back with ed helms. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ smooth driving pays off. saving is easy when you're in good hands. allstate. click or call for a quote today. we believe in good we can all afford. from a wave e. of confidence to a t-shirt that means the world. up at 2:00am again?

tonight, try pure zzzs all night. unlike other sleep aids, our extended release melatonin helps you sleep longer. and longer. zzzquil pure zzzs all night. fall asleep. stay asleep. ♪ (ac/dc: back in black) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ back in black ♪ ♪ i hit the sack ♪ ♪ i've been too long... ♪ applebee's irresist-a-bowls are back. dig in for just $8.99. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. germ proof your car with armor all disinfectant. kills 99.9% of bacteria and viruses. i suffered with psoriasis for so long.

i felt gross. people were afraid i was contagious. i was covered from head to toe. i was afraid to show my skin. afi ted ntyx i wasn't covered anymore. four years clear. five years now. i just look and feel better. see me. real people with psoriasis look and feel better with cosentyx. don't use if you're allergic to cosentyx. before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. an increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms, if your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, or if you've had a vaccine, or plan to. serious allergic reactions may occur. five years is just crazy. see me. learn more at cosentyx.com. (vo) ideas exist inside you, electrify you. they grow from our imagination, but they can't be held back. they want to be set free. to make the world more responsible,

and even more incredible. ideas start the future, just like that. (music) fleece vibes. only at old navy, and old navy.com you're into your shows, right? the office. now you can be really into your shows with xfinity. find your favorites with just your voice. there is no fire. it was only a simulation! what?! dwight. manuel wins another one! get live sports on the go.

he's stealing my scene. and if you have xfinity internet, flex is included. so your entertainment starts at free. so go on, get really into your shows. you need lotion. xfinity. it's a way better way to watch. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ everybody. you know my first guest from the "hangover" movies, "the office," and "the daily show." he co-created and now stars in the new show, "rutherford falls." >> chew stick.

>> yes, lawrence rutherford's chew stick. you pound the edges with a stone and chew on it with some mint. and my family brought that technology to the masses selling toothbrushes to soldiers and fur traders. i guess you could say we got the short end of the stick on that one. ( laughter ) that's a good one sniechment i'm going to use that. can i use that? >> no. >> then i won't. >> stephen: please welcome to "a late show," my old friend, ed helms! hey, ed. >> hey! how are you? >> stephen: i'm doing fine. i gotta-- i mentioned this before, but, god, your lighting is fantastic! >> i'm not even-- i'm not even real. this is a pixar animation. i-- and-- and, yeah. so stephen spielberg stopped by to do the lighting. and, yeah. what can i tell you. >> stephen: well, you look amazing. you have not aged a day since

when you shambled into the "the daily show" out of a snowstorm on the street in 2002. we gave you a cup of cocoa and said, "can you pretend to be normal? and you said, "yes." >> and i'm still pretending. >> stephen: listen, a lot of people know you from "the office." i hear good things. can't wait to check it out. now you've retooned-- >> sure. >> stephen: notice, you've reteamed. what is the word. are you too manied, reteamed with one of the producers to create this new show called "rutherford falls" which we just saw a clip of. what is it about? > "rutherford falls" is a very warm comedy about a town in the northeast. i play nathan rutherford. i live in the town of rutherford falls. i'm a descendant of lawrence rutherford to founded the town in the 1600s. my best friend is regan wells, played by the amazing jana

schmieding. our friendship is really kind of the heart of the show. the statue in the middle of town makes things a little bit more complicated as the show unravels. and it's a ton of fun. >> stephen: is it a statue of your ancestor? >> yes. the statue is lawrence rutherford, the founder of rutherford falls and my -- >> stephen: does it look just like you? does it look just like you, ed helms? >> spoiler alert: no. ( laughter ) >> stephen: can you spoil-- can you spoil no information? so is this-- is this a love interest with you and this-- this other character? >> no it's a platonic friendship. we're just sort of best friends -- >> stephen: i'm trying to sell some tickets mer i'm trying to sell tickets. people want to ed helms' ass? have you heard about bridger

ton? have you heard about bridgerton? >> yes, i have heard. >> stephen: there's a lot of man there-- >> there's a lot of sick packs. i respectfully disagree, i'm not sure america wants to see my butt. >> stephen: okay. ( laughter ) i've probably seen your butt more than you have, because it's hard for you to see it. but know-- yeah, i was often behind you when we walked on stage, and i thought i'd give my eye teeth for that ass, i used to say to myself. >> yeah, okay, all right. >> stephen: is this uncomfortable at all? is this in any way inappropriate and should i be hearing something from h.r.at paramount-plus? >> it's not comfortable but it's not uncomfortable. no, i actually really appreciate that because i have-- i have only been told by people who care about me deeply that i have a very flat and tiny ass. can i say "ass?" i don't know if i should say --

>> stephen: can he say ass? you can say as. can you say taint on cbs? >> yes. >> you can say taint on cbs, too. that's new. you didn't used to be able to say that. ( laughter ) so-- so-- it's just nice to see you. this feels almost entirely but not completely not like an interview. the desire to not interview ed helms is enormous. all i want to do is talk-- i just want to talk with ed helms. >> i know! i want to hang out! this is like kicking our feet up in your office back in 2002. >> stephen: yeah. >> and just chewing the fat. >> stephen: hey, you and i, as we were saying, we're both "the daily show" alums back in the early days, beforwee tually there befor was a big deal, back when people didn't give knus respect. >> yeah. >> stephen: yeah, that was the downfall of "daily show"" when people started to think it was good. everybody had their own style. how would you describe your

correspondent's style at "the daley in? >> when i first started, my correspondent style was ripping off steve carell and stephen colbert, as much as possible. just doing everything i saw you guys nailing. >> stephen: okay. >> and just copy that. >> stephen: i'm honored. i'm honored. i'm honored. >> eventually-- it took a year or so before i was actually kind of comfortable in my skin on that show. and found my own voice. but early on, yeah, you're just kind of trying to figure it out. and i remember asking you right before i went-- i was, like, about to walk out the door to do my very first field piece, and i asked you for advice. we didn't know each other at the time at all. and i just was like, "hey, you're a veteran. any tips as i go out on my first field piece?" and you were very kind, and you said, "yes. hang your soul up in the closet.

you can come back for it later.) >> stephen: you don't want to get anything on it. you know, you don't want to get, like, an oil stain on your soul when you're out there. you put the-- you take your soul off before you do the interview and put your soul on before you edit. that's the key part. >> yeah, right, you edit it with your soul back on. i really actually love that tip because, you know, i'm... i was raised in the south. i was raised-- my mom taught me to make people feel comfortable -- >> stephen: qur a very nice person raised by very nice people. >> thank you. >> stephen: and to a certain degree correspondents on "the daily show" can't really be that nice. you have a new film also called "together together," about a soon-to-be single father. and you're a father. how old is your little girl? >> three. >> stephen: three. okay, so still new father, really. >> sure. >> stephen: did you do all sort of the obsessive

preparation that your character does in this-- in this movie? like, you were like, "i'm going to reupholster a rocky chair!" what was-- which is what i did. did you do any of that stuff? >> i didn't reupholster a rocky chair. >> stephen: okay. >> but i did-- yes, i just was... i just kind of panicked because it's that fear of the unknown. you just have no idea what you're in for. >> stephen: there's no explaining it. >> yeah, yeah. and, by the way, i'd love to tap into another colbertism, if i may. i don't remember what we were talking about, but i do remember very vividly-- and this is way before i had kids, but you had a few kids. you told me something like, "it's just a matter of time before your kids find out you're a fraud."

( laughter ) and, honestly, that is-- that's been very comforting, because i-- i mean, i am a fraud. but-- no, but it is -- >> stephen: i think if you love them enough they'll get to see-- they'll see you at your most vulnerable. you want-- you want kids to find out you're a fraud? have your sons be your entire crew while you're under covid quarantine. they really-- >> that's humbling. >> stephen: they really see-- >> that's humbling. >> stephen: they really see the raw truth of your job. you know? well, ed, it's so lovely to see you. >> oh, so good to see you. thanks for having me. >> stephen: please come by some time when we don't have to work. >> yeah! yeah. >> stephen: that does not sound-- that "yeah" does not sound like you're ever going to stop by. "yeah... yeah." i've got a tv show and a movie

and a wife and a baby. yeah, i'll just come hang out with you steve. that sounds luke a great use of my time. >> honestly, it was just like when i am i go to get to the east coast again? i really want to. >> stephen: really sounds like it, ed. yeah, miss you, too. miss you, too. yeah, good guy. good guy. ( laughter ) "rutherford falls" streams on peacock this thursday, and "together together" is in theaters friday. ed helms, everyone! we'll be right back with author susan page. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ just when you thought it couldn't get any better than crispy, juicy and tender, we went and added... spicyyyy introducing mcdonald's new spicy crispy chicken sandwich. ♪ ba da ba ba ba ♪

when you buy this plant at walmart, they can buy more plants from metrolina greenhouses so abe and art can grow more plants. so they can hire vilma... and wendy... and me. so, more people can go to work. so, more days can start with kisses. when you buy this plant at walmart. ♪

struggling to manage my type 2 diabetes was knocking me out of my zone, when you buy this plant at walmart. but lowering my a1c with once-weekly ozempic® helped me get back in it. ♪ oh, oh, oh, ozempic® ♪ my zone? lowering my a1c and losing some weight. now, back to the show. ozempic® is proven to lower a1c. most people who took ozempic® reached an a1c under 7 and maintained it. and you may lose weight. adults lost on average up to 12 pounds. ozempic® isn't for people with type 1 diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis. don't share needles or pens, or reuse needles. don't take ozempic® if you or your family ever had medullary thyrd ca, or havlt eopl synome type 2,al to it stop ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction. serious side effects may include pancreatitis. tell your provider about vision problems or changes. taking ozempic® with a sulfonylurea or insulin may increase low blood sugar risk. side effects like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea may lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems.

once-weekly ozempic® helped me get in my type 2 diabetes zone. ask your health care provider how it can help you get in yours. ♪ oh, oh, oh, ozempic® ♪ you may pay as little as $25 for a 3-month prescription. ♪ you don't become a runner, who breaks eight world records... after age 65, without a serious support system. kathy martin has one in medicare from blue cross blue shield. she won't go a day without the right card. because she can't go a day without running. the medicare coverage trusted by more doctors. this is the benefit of blue. learn more at benefitofblue.com.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody.reauef of od speaker." please welcome to "a late show," susan page! susan, thanks for being here. >> it's a great pleasure to be with you. >> stephen: well, you're "usa today's" washington bureau chief, former president of the white house correspondents' association. but this is your first appearance on late-night tv. welcome where credibility goes to die. i'm glad you could join us. >> well, it's very exciting. it's very exciting to be here.

>> stephen: well, good, it's exciting for us to have you because you're mostly known as a reporter, but you're also a biographer. your new book is "madam speaker nancy pelosi and the lessons of power." in it you write about speaker pelosi's great discipline and her interest in precision. i'm sure that's helpful in controlling her caucus. are you at all surprised by the her comments about george floyd yesterday? it got so much criticism. for those who don't know, she thanked george floyd for sacrificing his life for justice and freedom for others. and many pointed out murder is not the same thing as a personal sacrifice. that inartful way of saying it, the tone deafness of that, did that surprise you? >> yes, ininartful is a polite

way to say that. the fact is, nancy pelosi has never been good at the talking-out-loud part of politics, giving the big speech or doing the sunday morning tv show. what she's been good at-- in fact, better at than anybody else in washington today-- is the inside part of politics where you-- where you cut deals and you stand up to presidents. >> stephen: and she does do that. we had john boehner on a couple of weeks ago, and he says that she impresses him, that she clearly can do a job that he couldn't, which is to control the caucus. what is he like behind closed doors? how much do the knives come out? >> she's-- she's pretty tough. but, you know, she's-- she's got-- i'll tell you, politico in a profile about a decade ago described her as an "iron fist in a gucci glove." ad the fact is she uses both those skills. she can be very skilled and persuasive with people. she can wear a gucci glove.

but if she needs an iron fist, she can pull it out. and any number of democratic members of congress, republicans, presidents of both parties have experienced her when she is at her most ruthless, or her most determined to get done what she wants to get done. >> stephen: she's such a good politician, always in a political mode, it seems like. i've never seen her really with the guard down, not kind of working the room in some way, even a small room. i've been in a room with just a couple of people, and it felt like she was working the room. how many times did you get to interview her? >> i interviewed her 10 times for this book. >> stephen: did you see an unguarded personal side of her, a nonpolitical messaging side of nancy pelosi? >> well, you know, we do prefer, as interviewers, to have the least-disciplined possible people to talk to. >> stephen: sure. >> because they are the most spontaneous. that doesn't describe nancy pelosi. but actually, she got more forthcoming the more times i saw

her. and i would bring things to her, to show her as my reporting went on. and i found things that maybe she didn't even know about. i remember i found the patent applications that her mother had submitted for a machine to give women facials, that promised to give women youthful-looking skin. i don't think she had ever seen that. actually, one of my kids went on ebay and found the nancy de llesandro, beauty vapor machine and bought it for me for my birthday and it worked. >> stephen: she started her political career helping her own father, and her mother who was helping her father, in baltimore. baltimore is a famously corrupt political town, very rough-and-tumble,"a lot of infighting there. what do you think she learned from that? what did she learn from helping her family? >> well, she will describe the lesson-- prime lesson of power as being this: no one is going

to give you power. you have to se seize it. that's what her father did, elected five kiems, to congress elected three times, as mayor of baltimore, a big larger-than-life figure. at the time nancy pelosi was born in baltimore, the delessandros were as crucial and central in baltimore as the kennedys were in boston. she was born into political royalty in baltimore. and i think she learned a lot of the lessons that she's applied through her life lie watching her father by playing that very rough-and-tumble game. >> stephen: we'll be right back with more susan page. ♪ (suspenseful music) ♪ ♪ ♪ just tell me what i need to know. never! (hands hit desk) where is it? it's on the beach. ocean views. it was supposed to be a surprise.

(hands hit desk) she doesn't like surprises dave. thanks, captain obvious. booking a trip can feel dramatic, but with free cancellation you can't go wrong with hotels.com. (hand hits desk) also, you're out of milk. itchy? scratchy? family not getting clean? get charmin ultra strong. it just cleans better, so your family can use less. hello clean bottom! enjoy the go with charmin.

i'll be observing your safe-driving abilities. play your cards right, and you could be in for a tasty discount. [ clicks pen] let's roll. hey, check it out. one time i tripped on the sidewalk over here. [ heavy-metal music playing ] -[ snoring ] -and a high of 89 degrees. [ electronic music playing ] ooh! ooh! who just gives away wood? the snapshot app from progressive rewards you for driving safe and driving less. there's an app? -[ chuckles ] beth. -save money with progressive. [ tires screech ] well, that came out of nowhere.

♪ ♪ ♪ >> so, again, thank you, george floyd, for sacrificing your life for justice. >> whoa! hole! it's your old friend, not sure you're nail it with this whole "thank you for being murdered speech." let's save you further embarrassment and chuck this in the potomac. let's get you and dianne feinstein some ice cream, maybe swing by the old cat scan

machine. really love this mother's day... to something she'll save on the best active brands and get free store pickup. kohl's. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ this is my body of proof. proof of less joint pain and clearer skin. proof that i can fight psoriatic arthritis... ...with humira. humira targets and blocks a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. it's proven to help relieve pain, stop further irreversible joint damage and clear skin in many adults. humira can lower your ability to fight infections. serious and sometimes fatal infections,

including tuberculosis, and cancer g ly have hap as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. ask your rheumatologist about humira. go to humira.com to see proof in action. if you can't afford your medicine, abbvie may be able to help. ♪ you've got the looks ♪ ♪ let's make lots of money ♪ if you can't afford your medicine, ♪ you've got the brawn ♪ ♪ i've got the brains... ♪ with allstate, drivers who switched saved over $700 whe say crispy, juicy, tender, this is the juicy and tender. and this is the crispy. introducing mcdonald's new crispy chicken sandwiches. ♪ ba da ba ba ba ♪

welcome to jack in the box. hey, jack, i heard your chicken- who told you that? it was jimmy wasn't it? no, i heard your chicken comes with classic and spicy in the same box, so i don't have to choose. ah yes. best of both worlds. my 50/50 popcorn chicken. only at jack in the box. this guy here is busy working on our state's recovery. you see he lives in california and by vacationing in california he's supporting our businesses and communities. which means every fruity skewer is like another sweet nail in the rebuilding of our economy. hammer away craftsman. calling all californians. keep your vacation here and help our state get back to work. and please travel responsibly. ♪ refuse to choose and get my $6.99 50/50 popcorn chicken with both classic

and spicy for the best of both worlds. only at jack in the box. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody. we're back with the author of "madam speaker," susan page. have you sent her a copy? >> i did send her a copy of the book when i first got it a couple of weeks ago. >> stephen: and? >> and she-- she hasn't told me what she thinks of the book. but she did let me come back ani thought was a very good sign. she ar let me come in and interw her with my colleague from "usa today," and it was my first chance to talk with her about the events of january 6, because the book had been done, completed at the point of that insurrection. and she told me that she was up

presiding over the house on january 6, and that the security folks came up and said, "you have to go." and she didn't take it seriously. she took it so-- with such lack of seriousness, left her phone u there because she thought she would be right back. and i asked her if that mob had caught up with her, would they have killed her? and she said, yes, that was what they were setting out to do. and then she said-- now, remember, she is 81 years old. she said, "they would have had had a battle on their hands because i'm a street fighter." and them she lifts up her foot and points to her four-inch stilettos and said, "besides, i d a a weapon." >> stephen: she was originally rumored to be leaving after 2016 because she thought that mrs. clinton was going to be elected. and then she stuck around. given that biden is now in, there's some sense, some sense of restoration of normality from

her point of view. how long-- how much longer do you think she's going to stay in office? >> i think this will be her last term as speaker. you know, i think it will be kind of a natural time. she's very, very eager to get these big measures through that president biden wants to get through, the infrastructure plan, by the fourth of july. but i think after that, there is going to be a transition to the next generation of leadership in the house. she has, after all, held power as house leader of democrats longer than anybody since same rayburn, and it's been an historic period of turmoil and conflict. so i think that this is her valedictory term. >> stephen: well, susan thanks so much for being here. and i do want to point out that i was looking in the index to see whether i appear in here. i do not. but george clooney does. and i forgive you. >> thank you. i'm so sorry.

>>stephen: the book, "madam speaker" is available now. susan page, everybody! we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ ♪

attention, california. new federal funding of $3 billion is available to help more people pay for health insurance — no matter what your income. how much is yours? julie and bob are paying $700 less, every month. dee got comprehensive coverage for only $1 a month. and the navarros are paying less than $100 a month. check coveredca.com to see your new, lower price. the sooner you sign up the more you save. only at covered california. this way to health insurance.

>> stephen: well, that's it for "a late show," folks. tune in tomorrow when my guests will be joe scarborough and mika brzezinski. james corden is next. good night.

captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by cbs ♪ the late late show, oh, oh the late late show, ooh ♪ the late late show, oh, oh the late late show ♪ oh, oh