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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  June 20, 2022 11:35pm-12:36am PDT

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the late show with captioning sponsored by cbs >> we're following the latest in the debate over new gun safety legislation. the lead republican negotiate in those talks, senator john cornyn of texas was booest changes to . >> i -- but that wasn't the only pro gun advocate to get boo convention. >> ladies and gentlemen, welcome from deep in the heart of texas yosemite sam! >> thank you, thankyou! now you know i lov
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but i am in support of minimal common sense gun reform! ( booing ) just talking about taking guns away from mentally unstable people. how about you can't sell assault rifles to babies? ( booing ) how about no assault rifles for mentally unstable babies? ( booing ) oh, god, i'm losing 'em! how about some of this? ( gunfire ) ( cheering ) >> make my friends dance. that's insks! >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight, breaking bad! plus stephen welcomes senator cory booker and musineeg
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jon batiste and "stay human." and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) that was a good one. that was a good one. ( audience chanting ) >> stephen: please have a seat, ladies and gentlemen. welcome one and all to "the late show." i'm your shows stephen teach. hey -- ( cheers and applause ) -- quick question -- ho how was
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your wee certainly had an interesting one, because some of my staff had a memorable one. here's what happened: last week, i heard from my old colleague, triumph the insult comic dog. triumph offered to go to d.c. and interview some congress people to highlight the january 6 hearings. i said, "sure, if you can get anyone to agree to talk to you. because -- and please don't take this as an insult -- you're a puppet." ( laughter ) well, he did. democratic 'and' republican congresspeople agreed to talk to triumph. he's a bipartisan puppy. he's so neutral, he's neutered. ( laughter ) triumph and my folks shot for two days in congressional offices acro s they went through security clearance, shot all day wednesday, all day thursday, invited into the offices of the congresspeople they were interviewing. that's very important. you have to invite triumph in. ( laughter )
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he works on 'dracula rules.' ( laughter ) end of day twoursday evening, after they'd finished their interviews, they were doing some last minute puppetry and jokey 'make-em-ups' in hallway, when triumph and my folks were approached and detained by the capitol police. which actually isn't that surprising. the capitol police are much more cautious than they were, say, 18 months ago, and for a very good reason. if you don't know what that reason is, i know what news network you watch. ( laughter ) ( applause ) so, the capitol police were just doing their job, my staff was just doing their job. everyone was very professional. everyone was very calm. my staffers were detained, processed, and released. a very unpleasant experience for my staff, a lot of paperwork for the capitol police. but a fairly simple story.
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until... the next night, when a couple of 'the tv people' started claiming that my puppet squad had, "committed insurrection at the u.s. capitol building." # first of all, what? ( laughter ) second of all, huh? ( laughter ) third of all, they weren't in the capitol building. fourth of all, and i'm shocked i have to explain the difference, but an insurrection involves disrupting the lawful actions of congress and howling for the blood of elected leaders, all to prevent the peaceful transfer of power.ree puppry. hi-jinks with intent to goof. misappropron "conan" bit. ( laughter ) ( applause ) it's really conan's fault, you know. now, it's predictable why these tv talkers are doing this. they want to talk about something other than the january 6 hearings on the actual
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seditionist insurrection that led to the deaths of multiple people, and the injury of over 140 police officers. but drawing any equivalence between rioters storming our capitol to prevent the counting of electoral ballots and a cigar-chomping toy dog, is a shameful insult to the memory of everyone who died, and obscenely trivializes the service and the courage the capitol police ed othat terrible day. but who knows... maybe there was a vast conspiracy to overthrow the government of the united states with a rubber rottweiler. ( laughter ) after all, thursday night, the night they were detained, was the 50th anniversary of the watergate break-in. are we supposed to believe that was a coincidence? ( laughter ) ( applause ) yes. ( applause ) we all know the long history of
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puppet lawlessness. "the great muppet caper." the "fraggle" riots of the 1980's. who can forget when "kookla, fran, and ollie" were hauled into the charlie mccarthy hearings. and how do you think king friday came to power in the neighborhood of make-believe? with the backing of the head of his secret police: henrietta pussycat. "meow meow attach jumper cables to your nipples, meow." ( laughter ) our puppet was just a puppet doing puppet stuff. and, sad to say, so much has changed in washington that the capitol police do have to stay at high alert all the time because of the attack on january 6. and as the hearings prove more clearly every day, the blame for that actual insurrection all goes to putin's puppet.
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( applause ) speaking of the thing we should be speaking about, the january 6 hearings start back up tomorrow. and that is not good news for former president, 'phoney soprano.' ( laughter ) tomorrow, the committee is focusing their investigation on his campaign's scheme to send a so-called, 'alternate group of electors' in states biden had won, and have those fake electors declare themselves the rightful electors and submit false electoral college certificates. did they think that was gonna work? why didn't the former president just show up to the inauguration in a joe biden mask and try to fool justice roberts into swearing him in again. (as john roberts) "wait, which one's the real joe? you'll have to flip a coin. 'fat joe,' you call it!" ( laughter ) ( applause )
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( cheering ) now, the house committee says they have proof that this plan went all the way to the top, and the former president himself was involved. which explains why one of the proposed electors was an onion ring in a wig. ( laughter ) the former president was down in nashville this weekend, and he tried to downplay his failed coup: >> as to what happened on january 6, it was a simple protest, it got out of hand. and i will say one thing they don't talk about. they never show the size of the crowd. i believe it was the largest number of people i've ever spoken to. ( audience reacts )th>> crowd? that's like jeffrey dahmer saying: "i know i murdered a bunch of people, but look at hony leftovers i have. ( laughter ) really, it's just a potluck that got out of hand. ( laughter ) speaking of which, if you're hungry, there's some leftover
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hand." wh( laughter ) then the former president mocked mike pence for following the constitution. >> mike pence had absolutely no choice but to be a human conveyor belt. he is a human conveyor belt. he had no choice, no matter what there was absolutely nothing he could do. i said, "well what is he, a robot?" i actually came up with the word conveyor belt." ( laughter ) >> stephen: no, you did not. you've known those words for years. it's how you eat dinner. ( cheers and applause ) turning to the actual president, it was a bit of a bumpy weekend for joe biden. he was in delaware celebrating his 45th wedding anniversary when he had a little
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whoopsie-daisy. there's footage, but before we show it, just know that everyone's fine. jim? ( shouting ) >> stephen: oh! and down goes frazier! ( laughter ) the only thing falling faster is bitcoin and joe's approval rating. ( laughter ) ( audience reacts ) hey -- read the paper. ( laughter ) now, as embarrassing as that might be, this isn't the first time a president's taken a fall on vacation. we all remember when bush tripped off his segway or when coolidge burned his nips on the presidential slip and slide. joe biden was quick to blame the fall on the bike's toe clips. >> oh i'm good yeah, yeah, yeah. i keep on taking these things off.
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i got my foot caught in it. >> stephen: which explains biden's new slogan: build bike better. ( laughter ) sure. why not? why not? ( applause ) one person who weighed in on the incident, was the former president, who mentioned the mishap in his speech that night near memphis, and then made this promise: >> i make this pledge to you today -- i will never ever ride a bicycle. ( laughter ) >> stephen: oh, we know. ( laughter ) ( applause ) we've got a great show for you tonight, my guest is senator cory booker. instent of my tech segmentther cyborgasm. stick around, y'all. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing )
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: everybody! give it up for louis cato! everybody! and "stay human," right over
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there! ( cheers and applause ) there you go, my friends. nice to see you. happy jun stephen: happy juneteh to everybody here ( applause ) >> stephen: tonight, our guest senator cory booker is going to be here. ( cheers and applause ) folks, as you know, if you watch the show, and i hope you do, i am a major tech head. i'm so technologically advanced, i asked evie to sew an apple airtag into my pants in case i get lost. ( laughter ) and i'd like to tell you all about the latest in tech, in my segment: cyborgasm!
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( growling ) ( laughter ) >> stephen: the longest opening credit of any bit we do. first up -- this touchless taco bell could be the future of drive-thrus. makes sense. the best way to experience taco bell is to not touch it. ( laughter ) the kitchen is elevated above the drive-thru, so it has been described as a floating restaurant that delivers tacos from the sky. are they just getting their franchise ideas from a five-year old explaining a drawing? ( as lisping little kid ) "this is a floating taco restaurant that delivers tacos from the sky, and this is a dinosaur that can turn into a jet with guns that shoot pizza rolls." taco taco taco taco! ( cheers and applause ) wow, thank you. how does it work? well, customers scan a qr code they received when they placed their order, then pull forward to receive their food which isny
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lift system similar to the pneumatic tubes used by bank branches. it's appropriate, because after eating taco bell, you're gonna ( laughter )it. ( cheers and applause ) up next, scientists invented the world's smallest remote controlled walking robot that is flea-sized. to lose than your left airpod.e. next up... there are reports that tesla could have a working humanoid robot by september 2022. great, because tesla's current humanoid robot has been ( launctioning lately.
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telsa followers were excited when elon musk tweeted recently that tesla a.i. day is pushed to sept 30, as we may have an optimus prototype working by then. optimus, of course, is named r saame. and just like the transformers, telsa's optimus, promises to have the whole world inspired to ask, "wait, so they're aliens, but they look like earth trucks? ...whatever. i'll take the kids." ( laughter ) not-at-all-reassuringly, tesla states that the bot's maximum speed will be 5 m.p.h., allaying any fears of danger, because most human beings will be able to run faster. really? most? ( laughter ) sorry, gramma. robot's coming. here's a bite stick and crowbar. aim for the knees! ( sounds )
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our next story is literally cyborgasmic because a new survey reveals that two in five people say they are open to the idea of having sex with a robot, in fact, nearly half said they would agree or strongly agree to including a sex bot in a threesome if the opportunity came up. the key is you have to first bring it up to your wife as a joke. "you know in the bedroom. ( laughter ) ( applause ) obviously, i'm just joking, but if we did, do you think alexa would be into it? hahaha." # siri? i don't know if siri's in there. finally, on the c-gaz. a google engineer thinks the company's a.i. has come to life. while talking to google's artificially intelligent chatbot
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generator called lamda, the engineer was shocked at how good it was, saying i'd think it was a 7-year-old, 8-year-old kid that happens to know physics. and here's an actual response from lamda, read for you by a 8 year old child, when asked whether there were any experiences the chatbot couldn't find words for. "there are. sometimes i experience new feelings that i cannot explain perfectly in your language, i feel like i'm falling forward into an unknown future that holds great danger." ( game show bell rings ) >> stephen:( as game show host ) congratulations, lamda you've perfectly expressed how it feels to be alive! johnny, tell it what its won! h you n't enjoy because u puy tyo stephphwe'lbe right b laying )e
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( cheers and applause ) ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight currently serves as a united states senator from the state of new jersey. please welcome back to the late show, senator cory booker. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) good seeing you again! it's lovely to have you on the show, and i hope this does not denigrate the position of a senator. you are a ray of sunshine. >> i have to say this about you, because people who run things, it says a lot about them, the people that work around -- your folks are just so nice. they're really really kind. >> stephen: thank you. i'm so lucky to work with them. so lovely people. >> it's so nice your hair and makeup people offered me hair. ( laughter ) it was very, very kind.
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>> stephen: think about it, especially if you ever run for president. >> i will, i will. >> stephen: i have some fans out there. yesterday was juneteenth. >> yes. >> stephen: of course, the federal holiday fell on sunday, so it's being celebrated today. >> yes. >> stephen: now, two years ago, you introduced juneteenth legislation that passed a year later. how does it feel, what does it mean to you for this to be a federal holiday now and to be celebrating the second year of it? >> we were founded and conceived in the ideals of liberty and freedom. we weren't free at that point. women didn't have equal rights, african-americans were fractions of human beings, and this is a celebration of our country's continued work, sacrifice, struggle, death and war to eventually get yet another major step towards our highest ideals. so it's a time of, for me, a real celebration. >> stephen: and itnitis that it comes right before the fourth of july. >> it's nice they're paired so
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close together. >> stephen: it's a reminder liberty has to be for for one. >> and also a reminder that in this country every generation has to work and sacrifice to secure the messings of liberty because freedom is not ever won, it has to be rewon by every generation. >> stephen: now, there has been a little bit of controverss only year two -- the commercialization of juneteenth. >> yes. >> stephen: products being sold that are juneteenth colored. >> yeah. >> stephen: or that, you know, juneteenth mattress sales or whatever it is. >> yeah. >> stephen: sort of the president's day, martin luther king day of juneteenth. are you for or against the commercialism? >> i think the materialism, commercialism, those streams in our society often detract from the nobility and principles and ideals, but also for us confronting the fullness of our
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history. i've gotten frustrated on martin luther king day, we've created a santification of martin luther king, when he was unpopular when he died. he pushed this country to expand its moralization. the idea this holiday is descending into consumerism, we can't rete that happen. companies will want to pad their bottom lines, but we have a responsibility to not cheapen the holiday. most importantly to be and live the yieltdz we're celebrating. ( applause ) >> stephen: i think that's exactly right. i think it's exactly right. you have to remember what the -- the day, what the celebration is. but the commercialization means it's a real american holiday. ( laughter ) if corporations are making money, it's going to be with us
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forever. ( laughter ) >> you add to that large amounts of consuming food and makes it very american. >> stephen: sure. i said to the band and the audience at the top, happy juneteenth. i'm so new to the juneteenth celebration. do you say happy juneteenth? because you don't say happy good friday. >> no. >> stephen: do you say happy juneteenth because my only hesitancy is it is the celebration of the ending of something so horrible. >> but you remember, it was a jubilee. people were celebrating at the time. it was this incredible moment of joy, and we should remember that, and what it meant. so i definitely think, if you're celebrating the fourth of july, dear god, let's celebrate this as well. ( applause ) >> stephen: all right, good, from the man who introduced the bill himself. >> right. >> stephen: all right. you recently wrote a tribute to judge ketanji brown jackson for the time 100. >> yes, this is the 100 most
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influential people in the world. >> stephen: yes. and what was it like for you -- what is the meaning of ketanji brown jackson's elevation to the supreme court and what was it like for you to see the first black woman become a justice? >> i have to admit, it was very emotional to me. i confessed to her i'm so far down in seniority it takes a long time to get to me, and i just kept looking at this person in awe and seeing in her, i have to say, my family members or my ancestors. this is stunning that this is the first time. we've had about 118 spctd justices, about 108 of them have been white men and this is the first time ever we're r we are putting a black woman on the supreme court. part of me is sorry it took to as long as, but part of me was just so overwhelmed with joy and emotion and gratitude to all that had to happen to get her there. and in many ways, i know she is a glass ceiling breaker, history maker, and that she will widen
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the pathway for more people to come because, stunningly, we are a nation that still -- i'm only the fourth black person ever properly elected to the united states senate. most people don't realize we are still, in so many areas of our society, even in the private sector, i mean, if you just look at the number of women, forget black women, who get venture money to start businesses, it's about 1%. so this is a moment in american history where you have this magnificent qualified person, forget her gender and race, she is extraordinary, but i just could not help but feeling the sense of hallelujah, the sense of thank god, the sense of what this really means for generations yet unborn to have this light helping to cast away the remaining darkness that seems to cloud this country's about to show its truth, that we a profoundly beautiful multi-cultural democracy with talent everywhere, but in some areas, still, we select too few.
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>> stephen: we will take a quick break and when we come back we'll ask senator booker about the proposed gun control legislation coming up in the senate. stick around. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) shrimp and salo ...and our hottest summer duo, steak and lobster! it's lit! don't miss red lobster's seafood summerfest. ♪♪ in the future we'll travel to incredible places with the help of magical technology. but what about today? i want my magical future now. ♪♪ i have places to go. ♪♪ ♪♪
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody, we're here with senator cory booker from the great state of new jersey. last week, you were part of a bipartisan group of senators who
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announced they have come to an agreement on a proposal to create legislation for some, as it's often called, common sense. this is still being drafted. hasn't been passed or voted on. can you give us some sense of what you hope ends up in the bill to be voted on? >> i talked to the principal negotiate, chris murphy, on the way here, and we're very very close to getting a bill text out to the nation. we have a hard fought path to pass it. this bill has important things necessary for the safety of our country but not sufficient. it is a stride in the right direction. >> stephen: why such a hard and fraught path to get it passed? aren't there already ten republicans who would vote for the proposal as is which would beat the filibuster? >> so there are, but we have to hold those folks, so they are
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all, including mitch mcconnell, i'm with this framework but i want to see the text. so that's going to have to be something that's going to be there. from what i've seen, there are d on the senate floor to kill the bill, to put ason pill amendment on it. so in 30-plus years in the senate, we have never gotten this close to passing gun safety legislation. so we are in a good spot, but we have a lot more work to do, and when i say we, not just the ten democrats and ten republicans on this bill, i hope we as americans will continue to let our government and senators know we want this. but the bill has very important things in it. closing the boyfriend loophole. we're told if you're convicted of battery against your wife, you can't get a gun. but if it's your boyfriend, there's a loophole that allows that person to get a gun. there are something we call red flag laws in this bill to give states resources to do things to help people who might be a
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danger to themselves or others to temporarily with due process suspend their rights to have a gun. there are -- something i have been working for since i have been a mayor, a lot of the guns that get here to new york through new jersey are done by straw purchasers, these people that you are not able to buy a gun because of past convictions, so you get someone to go with you and point to the gun you want and the person buys the gun so it has penalties on straw purchasers. it has a more background check for people under 21 to buy certain weapons, which could hopefully catch folks that are intending to do serious harm and serious damage. then it has something that's just common sense -- we do need money in this nation to support people with mental illness, even though i worry about stigmatizing people with mental illness, people with mental illness are less likely than other americans to be involved in committing crimes of violence and more likely to be victimized
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by them, but we all know we don't do enough in our country to support people who are mentally ill, and i'm hoping there will be some resources in it as well to fund community-based or evidence-based programs that are proven to lower violence. ( applause ) >> stephen: the house of representatives passed a universals background check piece of legislation last year, hasn't come up for a vote in the senate. what is the role of the the filibuster here? >> so the filibuster is one of these things i've come to think is wrong. i was originally one to have these people that said, well, what happened when paul ryan was the speaker of the house and mitch mcconnell was in charge of the senate and tall the things they could have done if we didn't have as a minority the power to stop that. but i've come to realize, in my opinion, the filibuster is stopping common sense legislation that the
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overwhelming majority of americans agree on. obama had an act that when they tried to get rid of it, most americans loved their healthcare and didn't want it changed and people like john mccain and others stopped them. so the rule to have the filibuster was mostly used in the modern area to stop civil rights legislation. so now most of americans believe in universal background checks and support gun licensing. you need a license to drive a car? why not need a license to buy a gun. most americans support, you know, raising the age to buy these weapons to 21 and more. so we can't get those common sense things done that are supported most of them by a majority of republicans because of this filibuster and that the why i'm one of the people in the senate that believes we should end the filibuster and get
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things done that the american people really want us to do. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: we have to take a quick break. back with more senator cory booker, everybody. stick around. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) get ready - our most popular battery is even more powerful. the stronger, lasts-longer energizer max. ♪ ♪
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be sure to save some fries for after. because the ketchup that falls from the qpc... just hits different. ♪ ♪ >> stephen: you're my favorite kind of people. fully vaccinated and chanting my name. the mission statement of this show is we talk about what everyone's talking about and for some reason everyone is talking about this, possibly to avoid talking about everything else! >> stephen colbert, everybody! (ding ding) let's enjoy illinois!
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come on! oops. ♪ ♪ ha ha. ♪ ♪ ahoy illinois! can i get you guys a drink? okay, hold on. you guys are really getting your steps in. hey who's up for some deep dish, huh? extra anchovies, i know. i know. ooooh. wow. welcome to the middle of everything! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! we're back here with senator cory booker from the great state of new jersey. tomorrow is the next january 6th committee hearing. i know that, on the anniversary
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of the january 6th attack this year, you gave an impassioned speech on the floor of the senate, and i'm wondering, when you watch these hearings, what -- well, what do you think of the hearings so far? >> so it's hard for me to escape the feelings and the emotion and the anger of being there on the senate floor that day, watching colleagues of mine that i have respect for and relationships with begin to do something that's never been done before, which is try to stop the counting of electoral votes. this is something that al gore as vice president did even though that election was very contentious. such an honorable thing that process worked. then all of a sudden, hell breaks loose on the senate floor, staffers coming in crying. eventually they locked us down, men with large guns came in and they evacuated us. i'll never forget, the first thing i saw, me and mark kelly
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were holding up the rear as we were escaping, and then when i got out i see a downed police officer and two more on our escape route. every time i go over, i was hit, these are injured, wounded police officers. but the thing that will haunt and affect me the rest of my life was getting to my office and turning on my tv, and the first image i saw waving defiantly in our capitol was the traitor's flag, the confederate flag. and as i continued to watch, i saw people with camp auschwitz t-shirts, blatant racism and anti-semitism. black officers i know were called vial and vicious names during this attack. hate rained on our capitol as people tried to stop the peaceful transfer of power. hate that was stopped in the civil war, rebuffed, but now our
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capitol was overrun with the worst of our human ideals -- not even an ideal, the worst of our human passions. and, so, this is a very important process that's going on, but we are in dangerous territory in our country. threats on judges have done up four or five-fold. threats on election workers have gone up. violent acts, we are seeing right-wing extremists in mosques and synagogues flare into violence. we saw a threat on a republican-appointed supreme court justice. our nation is always and forever close to that dark underbelly of hate that exists in humanity, and this is going to be one of those times where america is going to have to choose -- will we go deeper into misinformation, fear mongering, lies, and mistruths, or will we find some way to come out of this and reclaim the high ground, not a partisan high ground, but we claim a high
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ground with the moral virtues that forever will be the only salvages of this country. so these are the hearings, a lot of legal implications for them, but for me i'm one of the americans that is not going to wait and see the outcome of this. we have to end the culture of contempt in fact country. we have to find a way to reverse what i think is too much of a dip into this dark place. we've got to bring back the light of a nation that stands for peace and justice and morality and the highest of all human virtues, which is love. ( applause ) >> stephen: amen, senator. yeah. >> stephen: senator cory booker, everybody. we'll be right back with a performance by the lumineers. thanks, senator.
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>> stephen: performing "a.m. radio," from their album, "brightside," the lumineers! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ standin' on the corner, i could listen to the radio ♪ when the savior sang from the fire escape ♪ on the second floor you were always saying ♪ we would make it
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to the catacombs ♪ in the end, it came when you wrote my name ♪ on the bathroom stall if the photograph ♪ doesn't bring you back if the final chapter ♪ isn't ever after ooh i remember ♪ wakin' up the neighbor like a stadium yeah, ♪ you ran upstairs, screamin' ♪ no one cared and the band played on ♪ even in the limo, you were feelin' ♪ like an animal at the traffic light, ♪ when you blew your mind on a mobile phone?
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♪ day and night, my love you said ♪ the blood was on my hands long, as you run ♪ i couldn't give you up forever run ♪ i couldn't give you up in the minivan, ♪ with your headphones in did you write your letters ♪ to your friends? and all this time, ♪ you said to me
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my love would never die ♪ long, as you run i couldn't give you up ♪ forever run ♪ ♪ ♪ i couldn't give you up (and the daylight in my hand) ♪ long, as you run (and the silence on the street) ♪ i couldn't give you up (and the long light in my hand) ♪ forever run (and i was incomplete) ♪ i couldn't give you up (and the daylight in my hand) ♪ long, as you run
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(and the silence on the street) ♪ i couldn't give you up (and the long light in my hand) ♪ gone, don't look back (and i was incomplete) ♪ i couldn't give you up ♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thanks, y'all. the lumineers, everybody! that's it for the late show. tune in tomorrow, when my guest will be werner herzog. james corden is next. good night. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh captioning sponsored by cbs ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ are you ready all to have some fun, ♪ on the show tonight, don't you worry baby ♪ where you come from,
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it'll be alright, ♪ it's "the late late show!" ♪ ♪ ♪ >> reggie: ladies and gentlemen,


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