tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS June 27, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
well, thank you for watching. i'm still dre ing about captioning sponsored by cbs >> in a historic moch the supreme court overturns roe v. wade. >> this to me is the most unpopular supreme court decision overturning roe v. wade of any controversial decision that i can truly recall or look up in the polling. >> the republican dystopian chore sus proud to present-- . ♪ this land is my land. ♪ this land is my land. ♪ it is also my land. ♪ this land belongs to me and me
>> stephen: happy monday, what is up, lewis. good to sigh, good to sigh. >> hello, hello. hello. please v a seat. thank you. stephen: welcome to, "the late show." everybody here, everybody out there everybody watching from new zealand, i'm your host, stephen colbert. (cheers and applause) >> lovely people. >> stephen: now i don't know, i don't know if you guys were watching last week, since our last show, we've changed locations. on thursday, we were in the ed sullivan theater. and tonight, we're in medieval times everyone gets half a chicken and a pitcher of sprite.
because on friday morning, led by samuel alito, the supreme court overturned roe v. wade, reversing almost 50 years of precedent. ( audience erupts in booing ) so, reproductive rights in america lasted for less time than the young and the restless. jack abbott's evil twin is gonna be so shocked when he comes out of his fifth coma. its draft opinioning was we leased back in. i read it over the weekend, and basically all that has changed since then is the font. the supreme court went from times new roman to very old times roman. so, the thing is, i already did an entire monologue on this exact ruling, a month and a half ago. it's pretty good, you should go check it out.
i'm really mad at those guys for all the jokes they thought of back then. they would really have been helpful to have tonight. damn you, slightly younger me now, everybody's talking about overturning roe v. wade, but this decision also overturns planned parenthood v. casey, which was the 1992 case that upheld roe. and the heart of that case is this: people of good conscience can disagree on this profound moral and philosophical issue, but, the court said, our obligation is to define the liberty of all, not to mandate our own moral code. the underlying constitutional issue is whether the state can resolve these philosophic questions in such a definitive way that a woman lacks all choice in the matter. and what the court appears to be doing now is mandating its own moral code. of course, they might argue, no we didn't. we specifically ended our opinion by saying, we return the issue of abortion over to the
people's elected rpresentatives. have you met the people's elected representatives? i have. louie gohmert is one of them. i'm not sure if he knows where babies come from but even the fact-- fact that we got a leaked copy 8 weeks ago did not emotionally prepare the country for last friday's seismic shift. in its political landscape because, with this ruling, for the first time in history, the supreme court has eliminated an established constitutional right involving the autonomy to decide what happens to your body. and having more personal rights is kind of america's thing. we invented it. americans having rights taken away is like k.f.c. changing their slogan from, "we do chicken right," to, "there is no constitutional right to chicken. "it's finger lickin' gone!"
this land is your land-- . in the decision, alito noted that abortion is not deeply rooted in this nation's history and tradition and therefore is not protected as a right. hey, sam, maybe not everything we do in america has to be inspired by the stuff they did 200 years ago. that's why the c.d.c. hasn't released guidelines on how to treat monkeypox with leech-craft. turns out taking away rights from taking away rights wasn't popular this weekend, protests erupted everywhere from washington dc to new york, san francisco, denver, boston, philadelphia, even salt lake city. look at that crowd in salt lake city. (applause)
do you know how hard it is to be too conservative for utah? they think jazz is basketball. in fact, in recent polls, more than eight in 10 americans believe abortion should be legal to some degree. but we know majorities don't matter. that's how we got this supreme court. this ruling had immediate -- (applause) what's going on here. this ruling had immediate consequences. as soon as it happened, multiple states either partly or fully banned abortion by enacting what are called, trigger laws. trigger because they go into effect immediately, not that they control guns. you can't take away a constitutional right. these laws vary greatly, but -- triggers. these laws vary greatly, but
multiple states are trying to stem the flow of abortion-inducing pills by making their shipment through the mail illegal. that's pretty smart, because if they ban the pills, the only way around that would be if someone in america were willing to sell drugs illegally. which my lawyers say, i have no knowledge of. so if something's illegal, there's gotta be a punishment, right? let's ask this politician, who i am sure never paid for anyone's abortion. >> the answer is that there has to be some form of punishment. >> for the woman. >> yeah, there has to be some form. >> stephen: please. four years of you was punishment enough. (applause)
so, what will the punishment be? republicans don't want that question. a leaked memo from the national republican senatorial committee said, our position should be based in compassion and reason. republicans do not want to throw doctors and women in jail. mothers should be held harmless under the law. i don't understand, held harmless but illegal? i can understand why you wouldn't want women taken away in cuffs, because that would be super unpopular. so what's it gonna be? a fine? 150 bucks and two points on your sex license? 'cuz there's gonna have to be a sex license. can you imagine what the lines are going to be like at the sex d.m.v.? this is a terrible picture my penis is blinking but we gotta do it, but how else can you keep track of who could possibly be pregnant? they're gonna have to install those red light cameras in your bedroom. or if it's your birthday, on the
kitchen counter. it'll be like mandatory onlyfans. but wait there's more bad, because experts say birth control restrictions could follow abortion bans, and expect states to challenge emergency contraception, i.u.d.s, and plan b. which means folks not wanting to get pregnant will have to rely on plan c: samuel alito naked. 100 percent effective. (applause) i bet i look like that. did they use my body? did they use my body in that nottee. abortion bans could also punish those who participate in in-vitro fertilization. explains tv's hottest new crime procedural: "law and order: ivf." >> in the criminal justice system, women are prosecuted for two separate, yet equally stupid reasons; 'not' wanting to have children and wanting to have children. the whole thing is, "dumb dumb."
of course, throwing this back down to the states is already creating so much chaos and confusion that many women in america don't know what the court allows them to do anymore. ad for those women, here's a word from our newest sponsor. >> what's it going to say? i can't take this any longer. >> when you're wondering how the recent supreme court ruling will effect you, it's time to reach for the clear rights home test. the only at-home kit designed to alert you whether you get to make your own decision. >> okay but it's my body. >> is it? take the test and find out. just go into a bathroom, do whatever girls do in there, then wait five minutes and ask your husband to read the results. >> oh i don't have a hugs. >> yeah, there's a shocker. our digital display will give you fast results like positive
for rights. positively no rights. reply hazy, try again and ask the federalist society. >> wait, why are rights in my pee. >> i don't know y are babies in pee. >> it says i have rights. oh wait, offer not valid in alabama, arizona, arkansas, florida, georgia, idaho, indiana. >> and our supreme version comes with a little picture of justice samuel alito on the stick. oh no, you can't reuse that. >> no oh no, i just want to pee on him again. >> your rights home test, on the makers of is your gay marriage legal? coming sooner than you think. >> stephen: we've got a great show for you tonight, my guests are wanda sykes and ronan farrow. but when we come back, "meanwhile." join us, won't you?
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>> stephen: give it up for the band, everybody, right there. very beautiful. that's very beautiful. (applause). >> stephen: so one of the greatest tv songs of all time, you is the you know who is coming in on the background. >> the jackson five. >> jon: the jackson five singing do do wap. >> it says jackson five sing it with me now. >> jon: it's amazing am i think your version is better. don't tell stevie. tonight we have two wonderful guests, a great come ed yen, wandar sykes is here tonight and he is the pollster-- pulitzer
prize winning new yorker writer ronan farrow is here tonight. is that a you can pulitzer prize something. if you watch this show, you know i spend most of of my time, right over there, carefully pouring the day's hottest stories over the painstakingly ground freshest takes to craft for you the finest stoneware mug of rich sulawesi taraja coffee that is my monologue. but sometimes i come-to curled up in a recycling bin in a hot topic break room, gather some half empties, and mix their remnants in a plastic skull to create the radioactive mountain dew extreme sludge of news that is my segment: "meanwhile!" tsa rsja. meanwhile, traffic was snarled last week when a tractor-trailer hauling cheese caught fire in northeast ohio. emergency crews were immediately deployed with bread chunks and
fondue forks. authorities say the situation is stable and delicious. meanwhile, in order to expose security flaws, a researcher hacked into the backend of 'jacuzzi brand' smart hot tubs. though for the record, hacking into the back end happens a lot in hot tubs. (laughter) (applause) meanwhile, a new hampshire distillery is turning invasive crabs into whiskey. much better than the usual process: turning whiskey into invasive crabs. the company said it teamed up with the university of new hampshire's n-h green crab project to develop the whiskey, which is billed as being made with a bourbon base steeped with
a custom crab, corn, and spice blend mixture. resulting in a new technology called soup. meanwhile, in noodle news: kraft macaroni and cheese is changing its name after 85 years. which is also how long that box of it has been sitting in your grandma's pantry. "it's still perfectly good, dear." there's no expiration date on 'orange.' so what's the new name? well, say goodbye to kraft macaroni and cheese and say hello to -- drumroll please -- ( drumroll ) kraft mac & cheese. according to kraft, the new moniker is meant to reflect the way fans organically talk about the brand. yes, they wanted to reflect the way fans see their brand. which is why they almost changed the name to: kraft macaroni and clinical depression.
(applause) meanwhile, according to new research, the mites that live and breed on your face have anuses. what's up, science? are you just throwing magnetic terror poetry at a fridge now? oh look, here's a new research paper:piders that lay eggs in your mouth while you sleep te are also scientologists. researchers sequenced the genome of the common skin mite because it's not that well understood: some researchers have argued, for instance, that these mites lack an anus, but the researchers behind the new study say they've confirmed that mites do indeed have an anus. once again, science: the cure for cancer. we there yet? no?
then maybe we back-burner the whole do mites have an anus thing. i don't even want to know i have mites on my face. meanwhile, my viewers north of gordy ea because in canada, french's just unveiled a ketchup-f the french-sicle. and after you finish the ketchup flavored popsicle, the popsicle sticks have fun sayings on them like, "are you okay?" speaking of condiments, climate change and price hikes are hitting dijon mustard. now remember, if it's not made in the dijon region of france, it's only sparkling brown spread. hotter temperatures leads to more insects, more insects leads to poor seed harvests, and poor
seed harvests leads to empty shelves at supermarkets. who needs your fancy condiments as a proud american i'll only eat mustard if it's a level of yellow that can only be described as emergency flare. and the seed shortage is severe. for example, in burgundy, seed production has fallen from 12,000 tons three or four years ago to 4,000 tons last year, leading manufacturers to predict those who want the high-end mustard will have to pay more, it's true. prices are so high, we actually have footage of a black market mustard deal going down. >> gimme the [ bleep ] grey poupon!ki rey poupon, de the ht bac
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>> stephen: hello. >> hello, great crowd, good to see you. >> stephen: it has been a year since you have been on the show. >> uh-huh. >> stephen: where you ban, wanda? you have been doing. >> have i been all over the place. you know, we shot the second season of upshaws and everything. and just been, you know, busy. >> stephen: how are you doing? how are you doing? >> i'm a black gay woman and have i a daughter so i'm not doing so well right now. (applause) i'm a little salty. >> stephen: you're a little
salty. >> i'm a little salty right now, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> stephen: put some flavor on here. >> it just sucks, man, it really does, you know, it's like the country, it is no longer a democracy, right. we're-- it is no longer majority rules. >> stephen: no, certainly not the senate. >> it is not t is no longer majority rule and i mean st like these judges, they just-- they basically lied when they were, you know, during the confirmation hearings, right? >> stephen: especially kavanaugh. , yeah. >> so how you can be a supreme court justice and you just lying. what, they had their fingers crossed or something, or what. yeah, it's just a bunch of horse [bleep], it really is. >> stephen: well, (applause)
>> to me it is like the problem is that middle stuff. it is those states in the middle, that red stuff. why do they tell get to tell us what to do where the majority of us live out, new york, california, and we are paying for all this crap, really. i mean, right? we're footing the bill. >> stephen: that's the union, it is supposed to be representative democracy but it turns out to be minority rule right now. >> right, but if we are footing the bill, you know, and like california, if it were a country it would be, like the fifth largest, fourth, fifth largest economy. so you know, if i'm footing the bill, know your position, you know what i am saying. for real. like look, if i say hey let's go out to dinner, you don't get to pick the restaurant. that's up to me. (applause). >> stephen: your last special
was called not normal. >> right. >> stephen: which is show you were describing some of the upsetted nature of the country. what, how do things, how is the normal now? >> i was way off the mark, huh. i thought that was not normal, this stuff is crazy. >> stephen: you jumped the gun. >> i jumped the gun. i think things would be normal like if people especially elected officials try to overthrow an election f they went to jail, that would feel normal, i think. that would-- . >> stephen: we have to take a quick break, when we come back i will ask wanda about her earlier memories of doing comedy. stick around. ...and our hottest summer duo, steak and lobster! it's lit! don't miss red lobster's seafood summerfest.
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>> stephen: hey everybody, we're back here with star of the upshaws wanda sykes, you are back on tour which must feel good after being off tour for so long. because these are the greatest people in the world. >> yes, they are. >> stephen: and you may not be able to pinpoint the moment but why did you want to get into comedy, did you have a seminal moment for snu. >> i just remember growing up in and watching all those great variety shows you had growing up, smothers brothers, ed sullivan, yes.
flip wilson, all that. and just sitting with the family and laughing and looking for my grandmother laugh, my mother laugh and i just, that always just stayed with me and then after college and everything, i just hated every job that i had. and this was like, this is not what i want to be doing the next 40 year, come on. i just end up being a raging alcoholic if i stay here this long. >> you can do both. >> i can do both. >> a lot of people do. >> yeah. >> so yeah, so i just remembered like how much i loved comedy, how much i loved making people laugh. >> you have early memories of making people laugh? >> yeah, i knew i had something when i think it was its 6th, 7th grade, we were having a block party and the neighbor across the street, all the gentlemen, throwing them back a little bit too much, the man
fought in the war and he fell, he bumped, cracked his head open basically and all the other adults were a little sloshed too, so one was sober and they were like wanda go with her to take him to the military base because my dad's military. so it was like go showwo get tht stuff. we didn't have the waze back then, so we get to the army hospital and you know, getting him checked in and the doctor said look, we have his-- is there anything else we should know about him and i was like i wouldn't put him near an open flame right now. and the doctor fell out laughing and i was like-- i got something. (applause). >> stephen: speaking of the ed sullivan theater i just ound out that one of your early comedic heroes actually performed here. and i have always loved her
stuff and that's mom's maybe. >> yes, yes. >> stephen: and for the people who don't know, tell them who mom's maf ore was. >> oh my god, my hero, basically, a coming edian, she first started back in, they called it the-- she was just really ahead of her time. the jokes that she would do, she was like one of the first comics who actually would tack to the audience, you know, instead of just like dos like jokes, she would say let me tell you something, kids and she was like t was like self-dep ri kateing, some what, but also like political, you know, she would talk about social issues. just really funny, meant the world to me. >> stephen: you played her in the marvelous mrs. maazel what is that like to play one of your
comedic heroes. >> for real, for real, yeah, and not only did i get to play her, i got to play her on an amazing show like mrs. maazel and we shot it at the apollo theater so mi standing-- and that was mom's home, like, you know, that and d.c. but yeah. >> stephen: well, your new netflix, not new but new season of your netflix show the upshaws returns to season 2 on wednesday. you cocreated it the show, star in it, an executive producer, what can we expect to do. >> more hilarity, we should name the show that. >> it is really funny, i love the show, i love the writers. you know, the upshaws are messy, a working class african-american family in the midwest and and yes st m mest me.
>>ha c there. >> let's see. >> if i put sugar on corn chips that's frosted flakes, right? >> just add a banana. now go i'm trying to get this place staysenned up. people suck. i grabbed the last pack of markers and mrs. cherry came at me with a pair of safety disissers. i don't want to get into it but will you see it on the news. >> thank you. >> wait a minute, where is the cucumber. >> like i said, you'll see it on the news. >> stephen: wanda lovely to sigh, thank you for being here. season two of the upshaws premier this wednesday on netflix. ms. wanda sykes, everybody. we'll be right back with ronan farrow.
pringles. get stuck in. so i said, "yeah you're saving hundreds with the home and auto bundle from progressive, but there's no saving that casserole!" [ both laugh ] i just love that word "bundle." it's so fun. two things coming together like a force of nature, like it was really meant to be, y'know? yes, yes, i do. and i'm so glad you wanna save money. rodney, set up a bundle for jon hamm. mm! of course! jon, is it still cool if i catch a ride home with you? i never said it was. but technically you didn't say it wasn't. it's not. yet. ladies... welcome to my digestive system. when your gut and vaginal bacteria are off balance. you may feel it. but just one align women's probiotic daily helps soothe digestive upsets. and support vaginal health. welcome to an align gut. this is a warrior. midnight to morning, she's in command.
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every search you make, every click you take, every move you make, every step you take, i'll be watching you. the internet doesn't have to be duckduckgo is a free all in one privacy app with a built in search engine, web browser, one click data clearing and more stop companies like google from watching you, by downloading the app today. duckduckgo: privacy, simplified. >> stephen: hey. welcome back, everybody. ladies and germs, >> stephen: my next guest is a pulitzer prize-winning journalist and author of the books, "war on peace" and "catch and kill." please welcome back to the late
show, ronan farrow. >> good to be become. >> good to have you, how long has it been since. >> prepandemic. >> stephen: prepandemic. >> remember we were locked and did zoom a couple of times. >> this is better. >> i like the suit. >> thank you so much. >> stephen: 70s vibe, with the open clar, dik abbott. >> a little pink for pride. >> stephen: now it has been a tough time. and you see the new hbo documentary called endangered, the chronicles temporaries-- contemporary hostility for journalists around the world including the united
states. what made you want to make this now? >> well, i think that for anyone who does confronting journalism, we feel very acutely what happens to our peers, our colleagues around the world when they try to do the same. i'm in a country still to this day that has decent rule of law, relatively-- where you know, i might be get intimidating legal threats, smear efforts but i am reasonably confident i'm not going to wind up dead the next day, that is not true if you are a journalist in russia, pakistan, a lot of places so it felt important for me to do something that i'm not in, but that humanizes that struggle for people around the world and specifically people in democracy doing reporting that is really important to bring up the account ability and facing threats that would have been unthinkable in those countries, not that long ago. >> but you also include united states in the documentary.
>> yeah, it looks at the forces in the united states that are eroding our base of journalism and facts that voters can rely on. economic challenges for the nution industry that are causing closures of newsroom after newsroom, and fascist and authorityian thread in politics that seeks to demonize and alienate the press from its people. >> the previous president said very specifically that he wanted to address the fate of the press so journalists could be sued for liable more easily. >> and you see in this film a wonderful photographer from its "miami herald" who is contending with both of those things at the same time. wading into the crowd, facing even threat of violence, are you seeing that in crowds at some of these maga events in recent years. >> enemy of the people. >> enemy of the people and that is not a new thing, that is an old tactic used by thorn leaders and we are seeing it resurge around the world include ntion the countries that we look at in this film. and that's scary because that is
not an incidental issue. that underpins every major issue related to our rights and freedoms, if you don't have the facts, you can't create accountability. >> democracy dies in darkness swas as some would say. >> there is something to this. >> i'm curious, you might, i am wondering whether you have got a-- case here because at one time was thinking our previous president was sort of an aberration, almost like a mutant we didn't expect in the lineal-- lineage of our president. but this thortdian tendency is arising certainly in every hemisphere if not in every time zone. what is your theory of the case where it is happening to much now. >> i think it is linked to this issue of the free press. and it all starts, you know there is a number of factors but i think it does all start in a way with the facts that people have, and the economic forces that are creating what people sometimes call news deserts around the united states.
so many communities just don't have a paper of record, don't have a local paper at all stvment in the rise of social media where people can live in a little bubble of their own facts that they already agree with, where people can hear phrases like fake news and it can resonated with them because all they are getting every day is that drum beat. >> stephen: and those two things together, the news desert and social media make kind of kills local news and makes every story a national story or all concerns national concern. >> which say tragedy on multiple levels because there is urgent policy concerns at a local level in communities and local reporters in tv and print are still out there strution eling to do really important work but there is less and less of it, not what we need, and i did a lot of reporting on the january 6th rioters and identified a bunch of those individuals. and those conversations reenforce to me we need more and better reporting in communities around this country. we need to sphort our
journalists otherwise we're going to have people in this state of rage and who are very man i outable who want to -- these authorityian arguments. >> stephen: we have a clip here, you talk about the loss of local news, local newspapers there is a clip here which deals with that, who is that during this interview here. >> this is a guardian reporter named ollie, a wonderful journalist and he had to wade kind of through hell and back in this fill. you will see. jim? >> is meaning that youngstown is now the biggest city in america without a local newspaper. are you upset by that? >> no, it's just a sign of the times. they're a dying industry because they are so much progressive. we are not left wing progressive. we stopped buying the newspaper.
we stopped them just having one point of view, the democrats. why i am going to pay for a paper that calls me all kinds of names because i'm a conservative republican. that is why they are a dying industry. >> don't you think though that this community has a right to have accountability journalism. that is what the function of that paper was, to hold the powers to account. >> i don't believe they did i'm not going to buy a newspaper that doesn't reflect my views. >> so this is central to the problems we're talking about, i think when we have basic rights ripped away from us, a lot of the time one of the core things underpinning that is the facts we have as a public, an electorate and who we bripg in sometimes due to a lack of the facts penetrating who we see over and over again in this particular journaly there are four characters dealing with different trend lines and how it impacts their personal lives. and his journey is a lot about
wading through that kind of misinformation culture. >> well, on a lighter subject, they pay me for the segue. you write books, you report for "the new yorker," projects on audible neco but i want to talk about a project you were involved with fairly recently. you were a judge on rupaul's drag race season seven. >> i was. >> stephen: how would you compare this responsibility to some of the other jobs that you have done? >> i mean one of my toughest assignments and look, i wanted to do okay so badly. i hope the drag race die hearts are kind to me. have i been asked before, ru was gracious and wanted me on some years ago, the first time i was booked on the show it was october 2017, i was a little busy at the time. >> i remember. >> i was working on a story about harvey weinstein and getting some of these-- wasn't
eating, wasn't sleeping, was being followed around it was this existential giants thing that the editors of the new york prer working on, i was working on. and i did go at the 11th hour and say we are rung this story on this day, the exact day. but can i leave to judge a drag pancake competition. and they looked at me like i was completely insane. and said no. so i was so honored to be asked back and i was so excited to do. and boy, they're great queens on this season, they are all winners, the things you will see on this episode that i did, it blew my mind. >> can everyone be a winner, don't you have to judge who the win certificate. >> they are picking a winner t is very complicated politics, steven. >> ronan, thank you so much for being here, thank you for always pretending the free press, its woodward and bernstein episode,
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>> stephen: that's it for the late show. tune in tomorrow when my guest will be representative alexandria ocasio-cortez. james corden is next. he's in london. check it out. good night. captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> james: good evening everyone and welcome to london. behind me one of my favorite buildings in london, houses of parliament. it was here in 1967 that dav