tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS September 27, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
there. >> they know their names? >> maybe. if you say, rose, kitty, kitty? thank you so much for watching. "lake shore" is next. h a bunch f hidden fees at check out and are you like ughh. well, that may be coming to an end. today the biden administration announced a new proposal that would require airlines and online travel agencies to show the additional fees up front. that includes fees for seats with exta leg room, change or cancel a flight, or bring on checked or carryon bags. >> we here at the airline industry believe it's important to comply with the transportation department's call for transparent prices. and if you have ever flown a commercial jet you know that the real cost of flying isn't just financial, it's emotional. that's why the airlines are teaming up with westerner
hertzogue, the only-- man capable of can have aing the cost of flying. >> i'm westerner herzog, and this is the prize of a one way ticket from orlando to cleveland. as you sit idling on the tarmac for 55 minutes pretake off, you not only lose a fraction of your soul, but it is that part of you never existed and when you turn around to give a dirty look to the toddler roundhouse kicking the back of your seat, you see in his face yourself as a child, and feel compelled to warn him that things are not going to be okay. by the end of the flight, you realize you are what you eat. and it is pretzels, twisted and
mall formed, covered in crystals that taste of tears. >> and coming soon, departure updates from johnny cash. ♪ 13 hour delay. ♪. >> it's >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert!" tonight: hearing today, gone tomorrow! plus, stephen welcomes: samuel l. jackson and clarissa ward featuring louis cato and the late show band! and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, good to see
you, good to see you. welcome, everyone, one and all down here, up there, all around the world. welcome, welcome one and all to the late show. i'm your host stephen colbert. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: folks, i was watching, we had every plan in the world to start tonight's monologue by talking about what i was going to talk about in tomorrow's monologue, the latest january 6th hearing but we just learned this afternoon that the committee has postponed tomorrow's hearing saying quote, no t is for a good reason n light of hurricane ian bearing down on parts of florida we have decided to postpone tomorrow's proceedings. that sunday standable. we hope everybody in florida stays safe. please, if you can, get out of the storm's path. worst-case scenario--
(applause) worst case scen ar yorks tell ron desantis you are venezuelan maybe he gives you a free plane ride to martha's vineyard. (applause) one event that will not be delayed is the mid term elections. and things aren't looking great for republican senate candidate and vampire distracted, okay, but how do you really feel. and vampire distracted by your throbbing jugular, dr. mehmet oz. dr. oz has been trailing in the polls for the whole race behind pennsylvania lt. governor and half finished woolly willy john fetterman. recently oz went on a right wing podcast and pointed out that fetterman often wears hoodies and caringor on the campaign trail and tried to use that to show attack him but the insult
didn't come across as insulting. >> when he dresses like that, he is kicking authorities in the balances, saying i'm the man, i will show those guys who is boss. >> stephen: yeah, way to stick it to fetterman by making him seem-- cool? i tell you, i tell you, when fetterman dresses like that he looks like a man you don't want to mess w i man who knows what he wants. also you have seen how huge he is. i just-- just think i would feel safe cradled in those burly tattooed arms. not long after that interview fetterman responded with this actual tweet showing his new logo, fetterman kicking authority in the balls. that's how do you it got to love it, that is how you run for senate. fantastic. that is fantasticment i don't know about authority but he definitely just racked dr. oz in the nuts. speaking of people who should be kicked in the balls, vladimir putin, his war against ukraine
has been going so badly the last week, he ordered a draft. this has been superunpopular and to avoid it a lot of russians are getting the hell out of dodgesky especially to neighboring georgia resulting in a line of over 5,000 cars, that is at least ten miles long. and i'm told we have footage from a helicopter. >> traffic is pretty backed up along the georgia border so if you are thinking of fleeing for conscription head out early and pack some snacks. >> i have a helicopter, i'm out of here, see you suckers. >> stephen: those who haven't managed to flee-- ivan in the sky -- those who haven't managed to flee are finding other ways out of service because mobilized russians have been calling a hotline to ask how to surrender. we actually called that hotline this afternoon and we have this recording. >> welcome to the surrender
hotline. for information on how to su rendser press one. for show times for minions, the rise of groot, press 2-rbgs for-- and espanol numbero threea. >> and i get why they want to preemptively surrender. check out this leaked video of a group of soldiers reportedly being told what to pack for the front lines. >> get your il girlfriends and wife toes get sanitary pad, the cheapest pads plus the cheapest tampons, you know what the tampons are for? you shove it right into the bullet wound and the tampon expands and applies pressure to the wound. >> stephen: tampons to plug gunshot wounds, that sawful. plus so awkward to ask for. i've been shot. i've been shot, does anybody have a-- tampon.
(applause) go to the baths room together. not everyone is fleeing russian a some folks are putting down roots like nsa wrestle blower and showed up at the funeral dressed like, that edward snowden, ever since leaking details to the nsa surveillance program snowden has been living in exile in russia. yesterday it was announced he was granted russian citizenship. that say rough bit of timing, bud. congratulations, you are citizen, put right hand on potatoe and repeat after me. i, state your name, i, state your name solemnly swear to immediately go to be exploded in ukraine. here is passport and weapon, sharp and tampon. other people--
(applause) other people are fleeing russian citizenship by force because putin has made occupied parts of ukraine vote on joining russia in sham referendums. and i'm being told we have a copy of that ballot. should ukraine join russia. da, super da. or dahhh, i'm falling out a window. very slippery floors. very slippery floors. a lot of bananas. a lot of bananas in the penthouse. according to one ukrainian mayor the get out of the vote effort has been exactly what you think. they bang loudly, they ring the door bell, they give people a ballot and point with their rifles where to put the mark. and of course like all elections it is being run by elderly volunteers. ding dong. hello tafarech, here is your
ballot, vote in the right way or i will pop a cap in your ass, okay? all right, there say bake sale down there. staying overseas in the u.k. buckingham palace released king charles 3rd official monday gram design. take that people who say its monarchy is an outdated institution that does nothing. they release monograms. just in case-- (applause) very important. just in case you want to buy the king of england a bath towel. we have it? take a look. okay, that's pretty good. classy. features the king's initial intertwined with the letter r, r for rex, latin for king, and intertwined for years of inbreeding. we've got an update-- see, he wouldn't like it. he wouldn't.
it is a long story. we've got an update from outer space, last night i told you about nasa's dart mission, which say test to see if they could knock a planet kill eras troid off course and save the earth. they tried a mini version of that on a space rock that wasn't presently threatening us and guess what the dart mission successfully slammed into the asteroid, there is the slam right there. in your face, in your face, asteroid, planet saved. we, because even though it was a direct hit it will take about two months for scientists to determine if the asteroid's orbit has changed. so if this were a real emergency, i would be telling you folks, we may have saved the planet, we'll find out in two months. >> until then there is only one thing to do, spend time with those you love and together sign up for a free two month trial of
paramount plus. paramount plus, we're all going to die. why not. watch that yellowstone, that's pretty fun. the mission was tricky, essentially they hit a bull wet a smaller bullet that they shot ten months ago but they nailed it, earning this joyful celebration of the moment of impact. >> three, two, one. oh my gosh. >> oh wow. >> awaiting visual confirmation. all right. we lost signal. >> we got it? we have impact. in the name of planetary defense. >> fantastic. oh, fantastic.
oh. >> stephen: look at those happy nerds. i'm so happy for them that is lovely. quite an achievement. >> very nice. >> stephen: when they hit their target twice when they landed that double high five. this is a lot like what happens every night with the writers who work here at the late show mission control. here they are watching a live feed of last night's opening monologue. >> setting up the joke, ten, nine, eight, seven seconds to punch line, five, four, three two comedy. >> the question ask o do you want fries with that, we have laughter, the answer is yes. and the joke landed and in two months we'll find out if it was puny, funny. we have a great show for you
no wonder it's so popular... out there. yeah! i can't believe those idiots are going to fall for this. 90%! hey mark, did you know california is sending us all their money? suckers. -those idiots! [ laughter ] imagine that, a whole state made up of suckers. vote no on 27. it's a terrible deal for california. we win. you lose.
>> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back. hey hello to louis and the late show band, everybody. fantastic. i love that version. >> thanks, man, thanks,. >> stephen: that is beautiful, sounds fantastic. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: oh my goodness. what's going on. anything to say? please v a seat, everybody. oh louis, oh my friend. >> oh stephen. >> stephen: oh my friend, we have such wonderful, wonderful gerses tonight, we always do, obviously, i'm grateful for everybody that wants to come talk to this clown. but tonight we have from the
cnn, senior international correspondent clarissa ward is here tonight, amazing. she does everything. and also the legendary samuel l. jackson is here tonight. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: whooo. fun fact, the l stands for legendary. >> did not know that. >> stephen: folks, i'm a bit of a tech head. don't believe me? ask jeefs. and-- (applause). >> stephen: one technology that i particularly love is ride share apps. they are perfect for when you want to get to your destination but you also want to put your life in the hands of a sleep depved stranger. it has been a difficult few year force industry leaders uber and lyft, they've lost billions of dollars and many drivers have
quit but now new startups are ereat the drivers better sump is alto which gives annual compensation, the driver's cooperative which promises a share of the profits and wridz which gives 100 percent of the cab fares to the driver. hey, wridz, that is great but maybe save just a little bit of that money for spell check. there is one new ride share startup that has found a business model that ensures it will keep all of its drivers happy. take a look. >> looking for a new ride share app? >> car is almost here. >> uber? >> no. >> lyft. >> nope. >> trying something new. mid western dad for mark? >> introducing mid western dad, the only ride share app that guarantees to have no problem keeping our drivers happy. >> looks like we get to spend a little time together. >> because let's face t dads just love driving you around. mid western dad is the only car
service that comes exclusively to and from airports with the occasional stop at the hardware store. >> just got to grab something real quick. just needed some screws but these babies were on sale. >> okay. >> that is approaching but said that for ten minutes. >> can i hold yours. >> with mid western dad you pay by putting up with fights with the gps. >> what is with these google maps. >> i think that is your gmail app. >> oh, wow, singles in my area. >> rambling stories. >> my buddy dennis used to live around here. >> who? >> and of course, steely dan. ♪. >> i think it is third. >>. >> mid western dad, the only ride share that tips you.
>> here's 20 bucks. >> i can't take this. >> take t will you need it in the city. come here, you. >> love you. >> and coming soon, mid western mom. >> you want to get some food in the terminal.> stes i pd you sandwiches. >> thank you. >> all right. all right. travel safely. >> thank you very much. >> take pictures. >> i will. >> stephen: we'll be right back with samuel l. jackson. h t. so clean, you'll feel like you just left the dentist. oral-b. brush like a pro. ♪♪ moderate to severe eczema still disrupts my skin. despite treatment it disrupts my skin with itch. it disrupts my skin with rash.
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♪ going to lay down my burdens down by the riverside. ♪ (cheers and applause) >> all right! >> stephen: there you go. >> oh, papa's got a brand new band. i like it. >> stephen: mr. samuel l. jackson, it's lovely to see you again. >> thank you, so lovely to be able to come back and do this again. >> stephen: in person, we saw you zoom over a year ago. >> exactly. >> stephen: this is so much nicer. there is something ineffable. micronutrients that get passed between two people when are you together. >> it is the whole kind of reason i'm here in new york and then back in front of a live audience and having the whom
live thing happening.p>> stephet there that don't know yet, those don't know you are starring in the piano lesson written by the great august wilson. previews started last week. how are you feels about being back on broadway? >> it's amazingly energizing. i had forgotten. >> stephen: how long had it been? >> i think maybe seven years or so last time i was on broadway. doing a plane called the mountain top right before i did django. i went from being martin luther king to being steven, the most hated negro in cinematic history after playing martin luther king. being back on broadway you forget, i started here, i pointedded the pavement and did plays all the time, you forgot how energy identifies you look forward to meeting people every
night and meeting that energy and what that does to you. >> stephen: you have an opportunity to make that connection in a different way and express the character in a different way? >> i'm playing a different character in this play. i originated this character 30 some years ago, at yale. >> stephen: here we go. you were in this play. you played. >> i played boy willie and john david washington is playing that character now. >> stephen: uh-huh. >> and the character that i had am playing now is this character, who was played by carl who was a really good friend of mine at the time. >> stephen: this is 1987. >> yeah, long time ago, long time ago. >> stephen: was this play still in development, was august wilson there working on the play with y'all? >> yes, we started previews at yale, yes, we come in with new pages during the day and we would rehearse them and learn them and do them that night. which is kind of what we are doing now but we are not learning new things but we are still rehearsing because we are
in previews which means we have to go to rehearsal all day and do a show at night. so we are doing twice as many shows as when the show actually opens. >> stephen: what was his process like? because he is one of the greats of american theatre, of world theater. what was that like to work with him? >> well, you talk about the characters during the day, and lloyd richards was directing it, who was the head of the drama department at yale when we were doing it. we developed the characters, talked about them. we talked about the things they wanted. what boy willie y goals were, my character and what was going on in the play. what the piano lesson really was, wht it meant. and that was before we knew anything about generational wealth or started talking about it as that. and what the play actually means in terms of taking an heirloom or something of value that belongs to a family and turning it into something that is going to help the family down the line. and if one person wants to keep
t another person wants to sell it, to do that who is right who is wrong. so that is the conundrum of the play. >> stephen: as you do this play do you think back to that young man who was doing it in 1987. do you approach a role differently than he did? >> yeah, i do. different character, different goals. definitely different director. who-- . >> stephen: for people there who don't know your director is acclaimed actor, the first woman to direct an august wilson play on broadway just happens to be your wife, latonya richardson jackson. >> yeah, exactly. >> stephen: what is it like? what is it like, is this the first time you have been directed by your wife or has she directed you before? >> in the theater, yes. not the first time i have been directed by her but yeah, on stage, yeah, for sure. but she, she has a vision that is amazing for this play. i have seen this play a lot. and it has never been done this
way. she's the first person to approach the play from this place that she wants to do it. and it is about the piano and about this thing, about these people but she's always insisted it was a ghost goat story and she made it one. so if you get a chance to see it, please come see it. (applause). >> senlee , cathwork at dofi it folloyalho >> right now it is following us home because st all day. so we talk about what happened at rehearsal or she will tell me what i need to do to fa till-- that sill tate somebody doing soething else or to stop doing this other thing that she doesn't like me doing. >> stephen: here y'all are together, right there. how long have y'all been married? >> we have been married, what is this, 22? 42 years. yeah. >> stephen: that's nice. >> but we lived together ten
years before we got married. >> stephen: so you have been together 52 years. >> yeah. >> stephen: here say shot of y'all. >> oh yeah. >> stephen: that is a great shot. >> that is the beginning, that is back in college, yeah. 1972. >> stephen: did you meet in class. >> well, the first time i saw her was actually, i was on a plane oing to memphis to march with the garbage workers the day after martin luther king. we were on a plane that robert and bill cosby rented to take these students to march with the garbage workers, so i saw her on the plane and was like who is that. and i didn't see her again for six months or so after we locked the twrussies in a building, and she was there too. we took over, the trustee meeting. and then i didn't see her again for like two years because i got
kicked out of school and she didn't. when i came back to school i went to register for the drama department and she was trying to sneak her production book in the professor's office and he was looking out the window talking to me and she stuck it on the thing and i saw her. she snuck out of the room and he turned around and grabbed it and put a big f on it and then i saw her that night at the rehearsal for the first time. and we kind have been together ever since, yeah. >> stephen: that's lovely, that's lovely. we have to take a quick break and will be right back with more samuel l. jackson. stick around, everybody. ♪ bom-bom-bom-b♪ ♪ ♪ bom-bom-bom-bom ♪ ♪ bom-bom-bom-bom ♪ ♪ ♪ bom-bom-bom-bom ♪ [can dropping] ♪ bom-bom-bom-bom ♪ ♪ ♪ - ♪ bom ♪ - ♪ bom-bom ♪
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>> stephen: hey, everybody, we're back here is with the young, the talented, samuel l. jackson. as you said, the actor who is playing your original part, he is john david washington. >> yes. >> stephen: and what is it like to watch him do this part that you did back then and do you give him any advice? any notes at all? >> first thing was i was instructed never talk to john david about boy willie, so i have never had a conversation with him about that character. >> stephen: do you think he would like it?
>> oh yeah, oh yeah, of course. >> stephen: the fact that you are not supposed to say anything about this part or this play to him and you're saying it on tv and he might be watching rightp. >> no, no, i'm not telling him how to do it i'm not telling him what boy willy's intentions are or at this point in the play are you supposed to be like, and this part, but to sit there and watch him, i did boy willy a specific way because i was directed to do it that way. is he being directed to do boy willy another way and to sit there and watch it is kind of breathtaking at times because i say i never thought to do that. you know, i never thought to try that, she has him doing something that is spectacularly moving and touching in a way that i didn't do it, you know. and i love watching that. i love watching his growth from the first day we stepped in the rehearsal room and moving around that room and being comfortable
with the factor-- actors, and having that many words to say. when and if you have an opportunity to see this play, this character talks the whole play, the whole, whole, whole play and i remember when i did it by the time my character said to him boy willy, will you shut up, the audience are like yeah, please, cuz it was that kind of play. but when i say it to him in this play, you know, the audience vl like oh my god. they're like, they love him so much because they believe what he wants and what he is doing. and i believe it. and i am moved by it. and i'm sitting there just thinking this say great play to do every night, i'm sitting there enjoying the play and hoping, like oh no, did i miss my line. i'm sitting there watching, oh my god, it's quiet. and-- is it me? >> stephen: i've done that before, this is going really well. >> and then it gets quiet, oh,
wait a minute. >> stephen: you have ever fallen asleep on stage? >> not on stage. i have fallen asleep during a movie. >> stephen: cameras are rolling and you are asleep. >> when i'm doing offer camera for the other actor.& >> stephen: oh, i see. and it gets kind of like, is this as good as he going to be? >> stephen: thank you for being here. >> oh, my pleasure. >> stephen: the piano lesson son broadway. >> please come, please come. >> stephen: samuel l. jackson, everybody. we'll be right back with cnn's everybody. we'll be right back with cnn's clarissa ward. bring onude. long-acting protection from hiv. apretude is a prescription medicine used to reduce the risk of hiv without daily prep pills. bring on not worrying about daily doses. i prep without pills. apretude is the first and only long-acting prep
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>> this is so fun. i'm like flabbergasted by how much fun it is, i'm not used to having this much fun. >> stephen: no, no, you really aren't. this is the fourth time that we have done an interview. this is the first time you have been in person. it has always been on a battle field or a recent battle field or some tragic down fall some place. >> yeah. >> stephen: do you enjoy this more? >> this is almost more overwhelming. but i didn't fall over. that was my big fear. i was like i'm wearing heels. i'm not used to. this. >> stephen: do you not wear heels in the field. >> no, not usually. >> stephen: it is trouble with the rubble. >> exactly, exactly. >> stephen: well, are you in town because the news emmys are coming. so you are nominatedded for three. congratulations for that. >> thank you. >> i've been perfecting my clap for when you don't win and you
have to do the clap where you look really feap for its other person. >> stephen: sure, that would be kind of entertaining if you were the one person who want. >> i think i might-- . >> stephen: do it, just do it. okay. last week, let's gets to-- last week putin announced a partial mobilization. >> yep. >> stephen: and he is faining this going in an orderly process. we have gotten report, possibly from you, i don't know. we have gotten reports that in fact there really is no planned, comprehensive plan to make this happen. what do we know so far about what is happening in russia? >> we know it say disaster. as you eluded to in your introduction n your monologue, this is not seal team six, these guys being recruited to go there, a lot of them are drunk, a lot of them have no military experience. a lot of them are just ordinary young guys who have no desire whatsoever to go and fight and die in a war that they don't believe in. and it's really important for people to understand that a lot of russians i think have been
pretty sanguine about the war in ukraine, as long as it stayed on their television sets. >> stephen: putin wanted it that way. >> that is how he wants it. there is a reason he waited all this time before taking this step. because he understands that for the first time now, russians really get it. that everything they have built for the last 30 years is now in jeopardy. and it could be a whole generation before they will be able to rebuild their lives. and i have talked to friends in russia who are just sobbing because they understand that this is really crossing the rubicon. and it won't be the same again. and you are already seeing people protesting. and of course you then see this incredible, i mean mack vellian a approach to dealing with the protesters what is the sickest thing you can do to them, let's punish them by issuing draft sumons, so people who are gets a rested in some of these protests in moscow are being then sum mondayed to go and serve.
and are you seeing protests in other parts of the country. they deliberately zeroed in on parts of the country that are not ethnically russian. and that is deeply cynical and are you seeing a really strong response from people. >> when you say the people that you know from russia are looking at horror, the possibility that everything they built over po years could be gone, since the fall of the iron curtain, what does that mean that can it could be lost what could be lost in this for them s that putin has risked their national security, has ricked their standing in the world, they get kicked out of the banking system, they had the ruble crumble. what is it they could lose if putin loses the warness you hit on the two central things. the big part of the social contract that putin made with the people as he rose was this idea of stability, coming out of the chaos of the 1990. and also self-respect and being able to hold your head up eye on the international stage. both of those things now have
effectively being cor roaded. >> now the referendum that putin has called in these breakaway regions in eastern ukraine, or supposedly breakaway regions of ukraine what is the upside for him for dos this? because it clearly appears to be a sham election at gunpoint, so no doubt will say it was 97% in favor. >> he already has. >> the results have come out. shocking news, guys. >> stephen: what is the result. >> i believe it was 96 percent, 97 percent, 98 percent and maybe like 95. there were four different regions. but effectively what this is, this is a smoke screen for annexation so then russian can say all these parts of ukraine are now effectively part of russia. so any attack on these areas is no longer an attack on ukrainian territory or even disputed territory. this is a direct attack on russia. and that is why he came out and gave this sorted of very ominous
warning about not being afraid to use nuclear weapons. >> stephen: how seriously. he says i'm not bluffing which san odd thing for someone to sairks especially a world leader dealing with weapons that could destroy everything. from what you know of russia because you have a long relationship with that country. you were abc's chief correspondent for russia for years. should we-- is he bloffing-- bluffing. i thought hi more to that question. >> that is it. >> stephen: i don't know what is beyond that. >> i pray he is bluffing but no one should assume he is bluffing and everyone should be prepared for what happens if he is not bluffing. i have talked to hard-liners inside russia who support the use of, you know, potentially a tactical nuke, for example, because they say it is very important for russia at this stage to reinject fear into the battle space. >> stephen: and it would provide them enough time to get this mobilization going. because if it is you know, the
payoff that you have described, then they need something to keep ukrainians from advancing. >> the irony is none of this is likely, even the most extreme nubbing leer-- nukes, for example, none of that is going to fundamentally change the dynamic on the battle field. i think what russia is really hoping to do in the long run or certainly many analysts believe this, is they just want to keep this blinding and grinding and grinding for as long as they possibly can. because the one thing they are better at than most others is suffering. and so they have a very high pain threshhold. and they're really hoping that if they can maximize this, keep it going as long as possible, that they will start to see support wanting for ukraine. what they haven't banked on and what i have been covering for 20 years app i have seen over an over again, the people who win usually are the people whose hearts are in it the people who believe it, they feel it, they fight for it.
>> stephen: let's talk about feeling and fighting. you've also reported from iran in the past. what do you make of what is going on there with the protests in its streets and the question of the leadership, especially the women protesting in the street. >> st extraordinary the bravery of these women. i mean next level. a 22 year old woman is reportedly beaten to death for daring to show her hair. and this ground swell that you have seen of women going out and pulling off their head scarfs and demanding to no longer be second class citizens, effectively, and risking everything. their lives, their livelihoods, their security. and the idea of how frighterning that is to these majority of geriatric men who have been ruling iran for four decades.
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>> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow! i've got anderson cooper, and star of the movie, "smile," sosie bacon. stick around for james corden. good night. captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by cbs ♪ are you ready, y'all to have some fun ♪ on the show tonight don't you worry ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's "the late late show!" >>eg