tv Lockup MSNBC April 12, 2015 1:00am-2:01am PDT
due to mature subject matter, viewer discretion is advised. ♪ a heroin addict must choose between the lifestyle she craves -- >> when you shoot the heroin and you want more you will co-whatever you can. >> -- and the young son she left behind. >> he was going to the door pointing mommy and she says mommy is not coming right now. >> a inmate is transferred back to the jail from state prison. >> if somebody doesn't pay me on store day it kind of gets ugly.
>> but suddenly finds herself on the wrong end of a fist. >> and a job picking up dead bodies. >> likely to see brain matter. >> gives one inmate new reason to live. >> in here i have a purpose. officials at the hamilton county justice center in cincinnati, ohio say they have seen firsthand the impact of drug use on the city and the jail. >> drugs are a huge problem. unfortunately, it is something that starts on the streets. and by the time it gets to the point where they are in the jail
with us, they are withdrawing. and they will do anything to get those drugs back. so we can search all we want. they will always find ways to bring them in. it is a daily struggle and we do the best we can. sometimes we find them. sometimes we don't. you know, that is unfortunately the best we can do. >> most of the 1,300 men and women incarcerated here are only charged with crimes and awaiting trial and the resolution of their cases. but all are subjected to random shakedown, designed to keep drugs out of jail. >> everybody up lest go. >> every day we do a search. a shakedown on a floor every day. >> verve at seat. >> we'll pull the inmates out of their cell, set them in the middle of the day space. the dog will go through the cells and search the cells finding any contraband we cannot find. >> i feel in some way he's shaking out my panties right now and going through my dirty clothes. >> i'm far to boring to have anything they would want to
take. unless they want a copy of orange is the new black. >> pat down the inmates and send them back to their cell. >> today the search doesn't turn up any drugs or serious contraband. >> take them out of here and then all the cells will be open and they can do their daily routine. >> our rooms get trashed but, you know, what can we do about that? we're in jail. >> while frequent cell searches go a long way to keeping drugs away from the inmates, some of them create their own concoctions for a little boost. >> oh you put too much water in it. we need more -- >> one of the most popular is known as the whippet. >> it's a tablespoon of coffee, i believe, right? >> yeah. >> and then about a half bag of the cool aid. and use warm water. >> whip, whip, whip it. it turns into the taffy. and slap it on your hand and lick it. turns into a sugar high. >> just looking for a rush.
to be zigzagging off season. >> while rebecca is looking for something inside the jail. she said on the street she was addicted to much more potent. >> heroin is the love of my life. people don't understand, when you shoot the heroin into your arms and then you want more, you know you will do whatever you can. i'm a good person when i'm sober. i'm very kind. very sweet. i'm just a goofy person. but then when i'm on dope it's -- all hell breaks loose. >> goodman is awaiting trial on charges of aggravated robbery, burglary and child endangerment. while she's pled not guilty she says the charges stem from a drug binge during which she admits to shoplifting items from the walmart with her child in tow.
>> the cop came out. and said freeze. i said no. and i jumped in the car and i said drive. and he drove. and then the cop apparently got dragged, which i didn't know. i wasn't paying attention to that part. >> dragged? what y'all run him over? >> i didn't run him over. he was on the side of the car being dragged because he had to stick his arm in the window. >> she couldn't -- >> that's what i said. >> police report indicates the officer sustained minor injuries. >> i don't know how far dragged he was. but he was not hurt badly is what i was told. he was slightly bruised. like kind of when you have rough sex. he was slightly bruised. that's split. >> she and her get away driver were quickly identified. shortly after the arrest, her boyfriend convinced her to turn herself in. >> i called the detective and said give me a couple of hours and let me get myself together.
basically let me get high and let me find a place for my kid. and he said okay. let me call the search off. so i gave the phone to cris, my boyfriend. and i had him talk to him. and i was busy getting high. and -- that's sad. it is. >> if convicted on all of her charge, goodman could face several years in state prison. >> i'm really mad at turn myself in. because i thought i was going to get a browny point or something. and i didn't get no browny points. >> goodman says she's helping to negotiate a plea deal that would send her to rehab rather than prison to so she can be her son's mother again. >> i think i'm a fit to be mother when i'm sober. because i did everything right. and when i got high it was just bad. i'm just a sick person when it comes to getting high. when i was sober, i was doing really good. i was taking care of him. i was taking him to day care.
we'd play and we'd have fun. and that was the sober me. and that is what i miss. because when i was high, it's like i don't want you to bother me. and he wanted his mommy. my mom, the night i got arrested, i called her up and you could hear him crying for me. because he didn't know where i was. and i told my mom put him on the phone. let me talk to him. so she put him on the phone and it made it worse. when we talked like a couple of weeks ago, apparently he was going to the door and pointing mommy. and she said mommy's not coming right now. >> coming up -- >> i'm not cool with any of you. i just tolerate you. >> -- rebecca goodman gets a reality check from an inmate with a tough reputation.
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switch today and get the no mistake guarantee. comcast business. built for business. behind the walls of the hamilton county justice center in cincinnati, the weekly delivery of the commissary items is one of the few things inmates look forward to. they are allowed to purchase snack foods and toiletries from debit accounts funded by friends and family. but when supplies run low for the female inmates in 31 d, they have an unofficial store to go to. the cell of brandy lane. >> this is my cell. also known as j.c. brandies. instead of j.c. penney, j.c. brandy.
i try to keep at least 40 bags of chips. i like to keep a lot of sweets because a lot of the girls come in detoxing, that is the main thing they ask me for. >> brandy, i'll give you your stuff back. >> okay. >> look at her. she's rich in here. this is the store lady. >> when it comes to her store, lane works on a policy she describes as two for one. >> two for one is if somebody comes and says do you have a noodle until shop day. yeah. here you go but that means they have to pay me two back. >> one bag of chips and one hot chocolate. thank you. nice doing business with you. >> you too. >> i'll be back sooner or later. >> so i don't have. my family takes care of me. but i get a rush out of it. >> lane is currently two years through a sentence at the prison.
she was brought back to testify in an unrelated case. she said prison taught her the hustle. and how to keep her clients honest. >> if if someone doesn't pay when time i double it. and if they outright don't want to pay me, i don't know it. kind of gets ugly. i could give somebody a few things. a few items or even drop a few dollars on their books and they are going to kick that person's ass for my stuff. this is my hustle. this is my money. and it is something that i won't just take lightly. >> lane went to prison after pleading guilty for failure to comply with an officer's order and trying to evade police following a routine traffic stop. >> i took the police through a high speed chase going through ohio, into kentucky and indiana. i had 19 outstanding warrants
that was all misdemeanors and i was under the influence of the klonopin. i had them in my position and didn't want to get caught. so i fled when he asked for license and insurance and downed the whole bottle of pills. so by the end of the chase i was like -- it was like a video game, you know. it wasn't all real to me. and i wrecked the truck that i was driving. i hit a median barrier wall going through 83 miles an hour, head on. and the truck caught on fire, rolled a couple of times. i'm lucky to be alive. >> lane says her long criminal record is the result of a near decade long struggle with drugs. and even though she's not willing to give up some of her prison hustles, such as running her two for one store she says she wants to quit drugs and end her struggle with jail. >> i'm the recovering addict. everything from cocaine to crack to pills.
got caught up at the age of 18 with the wrong people. and i have been in and out of the street, in and out of jails, in and out of prince for the last nine years. i have been arrested for left the. obstruction of official police business. drug paraphernalia. everything but murder i'd say probably. this is the most harm that i've done so far at one time. i just have done a lot of self evaluations and stuff since i've been up in murraysville. i go to groups. i actually facilitate groups. i'm in school. i want this to be my last time. i want this to be a lesson learned. i don't want to come back. >> rebecca goodman, also an admitted drug addict, is hoping to avoid a prison sentence herself. says lane has been a good influence. >> we're close. we hang out a lot. and laugh. >> she forgot. we're cool. >> don't let your hair get big.
i'm not cool with any of you. i just tolerate you. i don't want to be friends with criminals anymore. i'm trying to get my life together. and you are the hardest criminal i've made yet. >> i am not. >> how do i expect to go home and be this wonderful mother and get a job and be a perfect citizen of society if i'm going keep the old habits? i have to completely change all my ways in order to better my life. i don't have any plans on being friends with anybody here. i mean there are like three people honestly that i'll probably ever plan on calling on the phone or hanging out with again. >> when brandy told me we would never be friends it hurt. because i think we would be good friends on the outs. as long as she did her part, i know i'll do mine. >> but i would like to just be associated -- >> we can go to a meeting
together. that's cool. >> yes. >> i wasn't -- yes. an aa and an na, a da, a ca. as long as -- and it's positive, i don't care. for me rebecca is dangerous. for me if i got out of here and hung around here, there would probably be a 60% chance that i would end up using with her. that is not that i don't like her. i love her. i love her as a person. i just -- i can't place myself around people who aren't ready to change their life. >> coming up -- >> some of the sponsors i had -- no offense -- were scandalous and very deceitful. >> prove her wrong by staying clean. >> a former addicteaches out to rebecca goodman. and -- >> we average probably about 70 or 80 coroner's runs per month. >> one of the jail's inmate workers volunteer farce grizzly position. >> there is not always people who want to do that every year about 55,000 men and women
year about 55,000 men and women pass through the booking department of the hamilton county justice center in cincinnati. >> i got a pair in my purse. >> most will be released within hours. but for those who stay the jail will become their home for an indefinite period of time. the job of keeping it clean falls to inmate workers, known here as porters, like tomas schiele. >> in jail i mean i am somebody. in here i feel needed, i guess. i have a purpose. when i get outside, it's a total when i get outside, it's a total
180. i just got of jail. i'm a criminal, a felon, on probation. i don't deserve a chance. >> he's serving a stint. he says he drove off in anger and evaded police when they tried to pull him over. >> i got away but cincinnati doesn't play around. they ended up surrounded my house and they got me. i make stupid decisions like that. i don't think before i act. i make very bad decisions. and 10 seconds later i'm like oh crap, why'd do that. >> he says he's been making bad decisions since the age of 18 when he served two years for theft. and he says his many subsequent incarcerations on burglary, theft and drug possession have contributed to the severe depression. >> the worst thing out there that depressed me more than
anything was looking for a job. and lot of people don't understand that. when you go out and put in 10 applications a day and every single place just knocks you down. i hate not having a job because i feel like a bum. but some days i'd just rather feel like a bum than go out and feel like a low life, like get crapped on. because you come home feel like a piece of [ bleep ]. it is not worth it sometimes. >> schiele says he eventually reached rock bottom can tried to quit suicide by over dosing on precipitation pills. >> i was in a coma. i don't remember how long. but i mean it was over. they brought my children down to see me. brought my priest. father tom came and blessed me. forgave my sins. and gave me a clear path. and one day i sat straight up in bad, had a tube in my throat. i can't breathe i'm freaking out. and i they had me intubated. and i grabbed it and it didn't come out but i did a good job ripping up my vocal cards.
it hurts. i get to live with that reminder for the rest of my life. it's what i do. but i'm over that now. >> schiele says one of the few positive aspects of his life in recent years was the unusual job he held the last time he was incarcerated here. he was once of the jail's dead run porters. >> about 12 or 13 years ago the county came to an agreement with the coroner's office we would respond within the county to any of the dead runs they had that require bodies to be picked up. we average probably about 70 or 80 runs per month. they call we get the porters together and have a driver that goes out with them, a certified officer from intake and we're on scene usually within 30 minutes. they have a lot of responsibility. they have been asked to position bodies in certain positions for crime scene photos.
they have been asked to retrieve body parts on occasion. it's the type of experience that you never forget. the images never leave you. >> two spots have recently opened up on the dead run team and schiele has once again applied for one of the volunteer positions. >> i think i do a very good job at it and i'm very respect. of that. they need somebody to come in and do that. there is not always that want to do that. >> thanks guys for coming up. and we're going to talk to you about the dead run position a little more in-depth. what we really want you to do when you are out there is you are under the control of the custody and the officer the who's in charge. all right? you're at all times discrete and respectful. you are going to be around families that are grieving and a lot of situations you will be involved with homicides, suicides, young people, old people. you know, men, women and children -- unfortunately. treat these bodies as if they
were a relative of yours and how you would want them to be treated. i assume you both have strong stomachs? >> i've done it before. so it was a life-changing experience, honestly. the stuff you see you don't forget. to go to a house, when you walk in and you hear the mom screaming upstairs. you just see a graduation picture on the beautiful young woman. and you get upstairs a year later, it is not even the same person. and they are dead. they overdosed and the mom is screaming. they're holding on to their dead daughter. brother is downstairs crying. neighbors outside crying. and you got -- when you see the effect it has on people it changes everything. you don't ever have to worry about me attempting suicide again, i can tell you that much. i won't put my family through that. >> coming up. thomas schiele start his new job. >> stuff ran down and dripped on the front of my shoe.
incarceration can't put a damper on vanity. >> this [ bleep ] hurts. i'm not going to lie. >> but maintaining personal style in jail takes a little creativity. >> i'm about to dye half of allison's hair with crystal light. some people use cool aid. but the cool aid here has sugar added so it doesn't hold. i just mix wit a tiny bit of water. usually like 10 packs probably. it becomes like, almost like a paste. i do nail, hair, makeup at least two or three times a day. if not my own, somebody else's. it takes me out of this place a little. >> she says being incarcerated numerous times over the last ten years for convictions related to
the drug addiction has brought her beauty tips. >> i believe we have some of the best talents. we learn how to do things with little to nothing. when you come from the streets and places like institutions and jails you learn how to do things with what little you have. >> one former drug addict is trying to do things like lane to help them break the cycle that brings them back to jail in the first place. >> hey ladies. i'm ms. shiela. i'm a grateful recover addict. i have been clean for 19 years. >> once a week she shares her story with the female inmates. >> i have been in the pits of the held with my addiction. in and out of jail. stealing, lying. and i really believe that my calling has been to try to help others. >> i love shiela.
she's very inspirational and i get so much out of her groups. and i know that coming from the same streets as her, if she can do it, i can do it. >> you have to make up your mind where you gonna go and what you gonna do. >> rebecca goodman who's been fighting her own battle with drugs in the past decade is more skeptical. >> i've been through all this. half my life span, on and of off being clean. my opinion i don't want to hear a speaker. >> for me my drug addiction keeps getting worse. every time i go back out it's worse. >> oh really? >> yes. >> god, i didn't know that that. >> yes. >> do you know what they call that? progression. that's what it does. >> but people here -- i'm not trying to say anything. >> just talk about you boo. don't worry about nobody else. just you. >> i know. i am sick and tired of doing what i'm doing. i've been doing this for 10 years. and i had three years clean prior to.
this some of the sponsors i had -- no offense -- were scandalous and very deceitful and. >> yeah but why you focused on that? >> -- >> don't worry. that's a waste of time. you can't control what anybody >> don't matter. prove her wrong by staying clean. that's how you get your energy is doing what you're supposed to do. if i'm keep finding fault in other people then i don't have to take any responsibility for what's really going on. >> i really don't like na. and i'm not trying to be mean. but -- [ laughter ] it's an hour and a half long. i like the hour. i like the a. but it does not relate to me. >> she didn't seem like she was ready. >> no. that's why don't waste your time. this is only for who want it. and not for who need it. this is what i'm going to do and then i'm gonna move on. i want you to work on you and
whatever works for you. god has given us programs here on earth and you just find the one that works for you. okay? and keep coming. all right let's close with our regular prayer and thanks for having me. >> did i get anything out of it? umm, i did. it's very inspiring, you know, to know that she could do that. that is a lot of years. i could never make it past the three year mark. i really can't. every time it gets to three years i'm done. >> but it may be longer than that before goodman returns to her life on the outside she's charged with aggravated robbery, burglary and child endangerment. she had her young son with her when she and her boyfriend robbed a walmart store. when they sped off the police officer was dragged by the car. >> i just hope i don't get six years. my lawyer told me the other day the minimum is six.
six years is too long. i want my son. i'd rather be sober and happy and have my baby back. and i'm worried that when i get out he won't know who i am anymore. >> at the time of her arrest goodman and her son lived with her boyfriend. when goodman turned herself in, her son was placed in the custody of his father over goodman's objections. >> do you feel good he's safe right now? >> in a way. i wanted cris to have him. because he's been with him. >> goodman's boyfriend cris richardson has stood beside her and visits frequently. >> i only get to see her tuesday, thursday and saturday. so when i get off work. this is where i come. counting down the minutes to get out of there and come here. >> hi boo. >> hello. >> i'm worried about her doing some serious time. but i'll be here. i'll be writing or going to visit wherever she's at.
>> even if she does prison time? >> yep. i'll be there. all the way through it. for her. >> i don't need anymore time in here. this place is getting to me. oh why did i turn myself? >> so you can get it done and get it over with. so when you get out you can be clean. >> it didn't go to my plan though. >> i know. >> my plan was for you to have my kid and then i would be fine. >> i know. >> it makes me so mad that didn't work. >> i know. >> did you even get ahold -- did you even get ahold of him? >> no. they won't talk to me. >> when i get out i swear to god. when i get out. >> you're going to behave myself. >> i am going to behave myself. thank god i'm behind bars because i would go put sugar this his tank. and then i would slash all four tires. oh my god. >> i don't even know how to
respond to that. >> i have anger issues. >> i think you should do anger management and rehab. >> i don't need anger management. >> yeah okay. and keeping you clean after you get out of the here. >> i know. you're going to keep me clean. >> and i'm going to break my foot off in your butt. >> i know. but that is if i get out of here. >> oh you have to -- >> she needed to either go to rehab or go to jail. and when she gets out, you know, everything will be good. i told her before if -- it's either me or the drugs. and if she chooses drugs i can't be with her. >> i think chris would -- he could stick with me through the six years but i don't -- i don't want six years. i don't deserve six years. at least i don't think i do. that's my opinion. i mean people may think i'm a monster.
but i'm not that mean. i'm not like some hideous monster, you know. i just made a wrong choice. >> coming up -- >> i noticed she had a black eye. >> an injury to brandy lane raises questions. >> the officer informed me that she said she fell in her cell. and i yeah well i'm probably not buying that story. ♪
different kind. schiele is one of four inmates selected to be what is known as the dead run porter. they are assigned to help the coroners office process bodies throughout the county. >> i've got to take this jump suit up with me to go to laundry. i go up, i've got blood -- got bloodstains on the front of it. down the legs. that is from -- you never know what you're getting into. this is from the same run as the jump suit. stuff ran down and dripped on the front of my shoe. the bottoms is where i tried to miss the blood trail and ended up stepping in it. and once you are in it. it's blood and probably some brain matter. a lot of chunks in there. a little bit of the brain matter. but, you know, when you are doing this job you are going to run into some messy situations. >> despite the grim scenes he says it's better than being in jail. >> in the truck and hit the
windows down and you are on the highway. granted we're going to a bad situation but try to look at the brighter side of things. we're out there and i felt like a dog with my head out the window almost. kicked back in the backseat and let the wind blow in. it is enjoyable until you get to the scene and then you got to realize what you're doing and reality check. and then after you leave the coroner's office enjoy the ride back as much as you can because then you are back again. >> schiele says the trips out have also ban reminder of what he's missing. >> when we get to the scene sometimes we have to stand sometimes 5, 10 minutes outside waiting till it's clear. so we're standing listening to birds chirping, neighbors walking around. smelling the air. and someone down the street cutting grass, that fresh cut grass, it puts it all in perspective. you don't know what you're missing until you're out there. i can't wait to go home and cut my grass. stupid but i can't wait.
looking forward to that. >> for brandy lane, freedom is getting closer. she was midway through a two year prison sentence in murrysville, ohio when she was brought in to testify on a unrelated case. she says she's ready to change. but now trouble seems to have found her. >> when i walked on the female unit i notice she had a black eye. and i asked my officer what was going on with that. and the officer informed me that she said she fell in her cell. and smacked her eye i believe on her toilet. and i said, yeah, well i'm probably not buying that story. and they said neither were they. but she wasn't willing to talk about what had happened.
>> the sergeant says she's known lane a majority of her career. and she's confident a visit to the cell will get the truth. >> brandy, what's going on? >> not much. >> what happened here? >> i was on the phone over there by the door. and an inmate ran up on me. i was on the phone and had a cup of coffee in my hand. and inmate ran up on me and swung on me twice. and then when she didn't connect with my face she kicked me in my face. >> did you have issues with her? was there something going on between her. >> somebody apparently said that i said something. if she would have approached me woman to woman -- you've known me long enough -- i would have told her what i said. i waited till quiet time. and i said i fell and hit my face on the toilet and they took me to medical.
>> and you thought somebody'd believe that story. >> i didn't want to tell. i mean the whole pod was like pretty much you're going to get us all locked down. so. >> why -- >> she knew the truth. and i don't want to be locked in my room for lying to a sergeant. so when one thing happens or does something wrong everybody suffers the consequences. and i didn't want everybody else to be locked down on behalf of me and some ignorant inmate. because of course as a woman we all have that ego and that pride thing going on. i want to whoop her ass. but why? >> i think brandy has come a long way in the years i've known her. and she obviously expressed to me today that she just wants to be done with the trouble she's in right now and move on in her life. and i'm hoping that's her real decision that he's made. >> the only reason i haven't retaliated sergeant is because not only do i want to go home to
my sons, but if i can't stay out of trouble in here how am i going to stay out of trouble out there? >> true. sometimes you have to be bigger person. >> it's the hardest -- >> but i wish you would have let me know when it happened. >> if this would have happened to me even six months ago, i would have already made sure i could get my hands on her. there would have been no stopping me. but i want to change my life. i want to go home to my son. i want to be a mother. i'm tired of being confined to these wall, having people tell me when to eat, breathe, sleep, you know. i'm sick of that. the old me would have definitely mauled her by now. >> coming up -- thomas schiele prepares for his release. but past choices may come back to haunt him. >> worst case scenario, doc, department of corrections, they send me back to prison. >> and rebecca goodman has a major development in her case. >> i was done.
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thomas schiele has been keeping himself busy at the hamilton county justice center. he works as the dead run porter, picking up bodies for the coroner's office. >> every morning at breakfast, news comes on. i pretty much know my day. oh well i'll be leaving. three homicides last night. we're picking them up at the hospital. between homicides, accidental shootings and drug overdoses, those three things right there is enough to keep a coroner busy. funeral homes are definitely secure with their jobs. >> thomas has been a one of a kind type of the dead run porter. i haven't had any negative feedback from any of the drivers that have gone out with him. to the contrary they've all said he's very responsible. very attentive.
he wants to do a good job every run he goes out on. and it puts my mind at ease he's one of the guys out there doing the job. >> but this will be one of schiele's last runs. he's nearing the end of a 60-day sentence and will soon be leaving the jail. >> what's your plans for the future? >> well, number one above all is not to come back to jail. >> good. >> i got a job waiting on me. >> okay. >> got some after -- some treatment programs set up. help keep me in line a little bit. >> fantastic. >> and other than that, just going to go out there and -- >> give it your best. >> give it my best. spend time with the kids. >> but schiele won't be regaining his freedom just yet. he's about to be transferred to the neighboring butler county jail for failure to pay child support. >> i owe a lot. it's in the $20,000 to $30,000 range. i do feel like a piece of [ bleep ].
people think i am one. i mean, i'm a bad -- i am a bad father in that perspective. and maybe i don't have the right to see them right now. >> already on probation for failure to pay child support, schiele's judge will now decide whether or not to send him to prison for his continued violations. >> worst-case scenario, doc, department of corrections, 2 years, 8 months. they send me back to prison. it is what it is. if they send me back to prison, i'll get through it. they're not going to keep me forever. >> three weeks after brandy lane was assaulted by another inmate on her unit, hr injuries are no longer visible. but lane says that is not the only thing that's changed. >> when people approach me and ask me why i wasn't the usual me or why i didn't retaliate?
i kind of just tell them it's not their business. i guess it's all a part of growing up. i'm 27, i'm not 17 anymore. and i feel like if i can't hold my composure in here then i won't be able to do it at home. so i'm trying to do as much soul searching and changing as i can. >> as further evidence of her growth, lane cites her decision to close the commissary store she had been running out of her cell. >> i have pretty much shut down j.c. brandy's. i'm addicted to hustling. so no matter where i'm at i always work my hustle in. but i sincerely want to stop that. because i feel like that's the reason i'm here today. the fast pace, tripling and doubling my money and all that. like, that comes with the territory and lifestyle of addiction. >> lane says she hopes to help rebecca goodman change as well.
>> me and rebecca are getting closer by the day. she's still not ready to change her life. but i think she is to the point where she's starting to think about things. and as long as i can talk to her and try to get her to change her way of thinking, then i feel like i've accomplished something. >> i keep telling myself i'm not coming back. because i will remember. >> say what you want. think what you want. mean it in your heart if you want. i was exactly the same way. and i meant it wholeheartedly. everest never coming back. i was never going to use again. i was never going to do any of that. and here i sit on my third penitentiary number, again. >> facing charges of aggravated robbery, burglary and child endangerment, goodman had hoped to be sentenced to a rehabilitation program but a recent plea offer has not left her optimistic. >> i talked to my lawyer and he said your plea deal is three years.
i kind of was stunned. i was like, three what? and he's like, three years. and i was like, um -- oh, wow. but i was told there was no other plea deals. it's just one plea deal, and if we didn't want it, then it was going to trial, and we're looking at five to eight years. i was pissed because it feels like your life's over with. three years? >> goodman says she plans to refuse the plea deal in hopes that her judge will still send her to rehab. >> worst case scenario, prison and rehab. >> drugs are absolutely available in prison. however they get them in there. they get them in. people come in with stuff in their -- >> yeah. >> vagina stuff. you know. >> i've heard. >> tobacco, whatever you want is available up there. marijuana. i've seen it all. any drug she wants is available. so if she's not serious she is going to be able to get high up there.
i've seen everything from them smoking crack out of a chicken bone to shooting dope out of a diabetic needle. i feel like she really really does want to change. do i think she knows how to go about doing it yet? no. do i think it's going to be a long journey for her? absolutely, because it is for all of us. but i see her more and more driven every day. i almost consider her a friend now. and whatever path you go, i just hope you make the best decision for you. i care about you genuinely and i want you to not be a statistic. i have lost a friend every single month since i've been going to heroin overdose. so i wrote a poem about how i felt about it. the poem i wrote's called "illusion." it says [ bleep ] the illusion, street life and confusion. it's killing my family and it's gruesome. something has got to give.
these beautiful women, they deserve to live. starting here, starting now, i promise to figure out how. how to bring purpose into their lives and how to get back to being a wife, a mother, a friend and show the loyalty that's held within. give back for the ones who didn't win. rest in peace to all of those who have died in this game. i give you my word it won't be in vain. i will celebrate your lives each and every day and be forever grateful that mine didn't end that way.
due to mature subject matter, viewer discretion is advised. >> msnbc takes you behind the walls of america's most notorious prisons. into a world of chaos and danger. now, the scenes you've never seen. "lockup: raw." it's a world where the threat of danger dictates every action and every decision. >> i have seen stabbings over drugs. i've seen stabbings over money owed for canteen. >> i was holding his head on the ground digging one of his eyeballs out.