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tv   The 11th Hour With Stephanie Ruhle  MSNBC  July 5, 2022 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have. >> that is tonight's last word, the 11th hour with stephanie ruhle starts now. >> tonight, another community in mourning. seven killed, while celebrating the 4th of july. we are live on the scene with the latest on the investigation, and honoring those lost. then, the latest on georgia's investigation into the former -- subpoena member inner circle but does it change anything? plus, the conversation about mental health from a man who struggled in secrecy while in the spotlight, now opening up to tell his story. that is the 11th hour gets underway on this tuesday night. >> good evening once again, i'm
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stephanie ruhle, the chicago suburb of highland park is the latest community struggling to come to grips with the horror of a deadly mass shooting. tonight the town held a vigil for the seven people killed when a gunman opened fire on a fourth of july parade. the attack also left dozens of people injured. just a few hours ago, vice president kamala harris visited the scene to pay tribute to the victims. police say the suspected gunman fired more than 70 rounds from a rooftop shortly after the parade got underway is today morning. [noise] [noise] [noise]
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authorities have charged 21 year old male robert -- with seven counts of murder, and say could eventually face more charges. >> these are just the first of many charges that will be filed against mr. crimo. i want to emphasize that. there will be more charges. we anticipate dozens more charges, centering around each of the victims, psychological victims, physical victims. >> so far, police have not identified a motive. but they say crimo allegedly planned the attack for weeks. he disguised himself as a woman to make his escape. officials say he legally purchased multiple weapons, including at least two rifles before the shooting. they also revealed that police had to prior contacts with a suspect in 2019 a family member reported he threatened to kill everyone with several knives
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were seized, but it wasn't just highland park, remember this holiday weekend brought gun violence across the nation. according to the gun violence archive, over 230 people died in shootings on friday morning to monday night. meanwhile, we are also following the latest developments in the january 6th investigation. the house committee says its next hearing will take place on july 12th, one week from today. the news comes as the georgia prosecutor investigating donald trump for possible until election interference has subpoenaed some of his closest allies, among them rudy giuliani, john eastman, and senator lindsey graham. we will have much more on that later in the hour. but i want to begin with my good friend and partner ali velshi live in highland park tonight. ali thank you so much for being there. you always go to the toughest scenes and we are grateful for it. tell me, what is it like there? >> you know, you said it at the beginning. another community coming to grips with -- right?
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it is not even that these are not expected anymore, it is now a came of roulette. will it come to my community? the number of people who i've heard from here, they set you and i have together heard in different places, we didn't think it would happen here. and now, we are finding that it is happening everywhere. we are averaging about 12 mass shootings a week, in which more than four people are shot. you outlined just this weekend the number of shootings that have been. so this is a tight-knit community, it is a suburban community, a veteran community to chicago. it is ironically community in which they are style assault weapons are not permitted. this is a community that after parkland took a stand on this. they passed a municipal ordinance that not only said those types of weapon are not allowed in the city, but it took a shot at the state government, the governor, and the legislature to say you should do this around the state. but illinois actually has relatively strict gun laws, and so to chicago, but guns get in from other places because there aren't hard borders between
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states. that is the same problem with highland park. guns get in from other places. the other thing people talk about fairly graphic detail here is those who were killed, the damage that was not kind to them. there is a government perched on a roof up there, two stories right over the parade route and was shooting people at close range. i had a doctor on earlier who said to me, the people who were shot that he looked at, and that he tried to treat they had passed and passed very quickly. there was no chance of saving them. so they moved on to the many other people who were wounded. it is a community that is reeling, a community that is confused, a great deal of anger, a lot of people said to me they want to do something, they want to channel their anger, but they're not quite sure how to do this. it is exhausting, it's the same people have been watching the shootings from across the country saying what can be done about this. everybody is cognizant of the fact we have had some federal legislation for the first time in decades, and some might have actually been relevant here,
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stephanie, because the red flag law as you said, this shooter this alleged shooter did have two interactions with the law. one reference possible suicide, the other one possibly killing other people. under well executed red flag laws, that kind of person is the person who might have a weapon taken away from them or not be able to get one. so we are still in the area where young men are getting assault weapons and committing mass murders, as many times as we report on this, stephanie, the underlying story does not change that much. >> and they are getting them legally. ali velshi, thank you for being there, thank you for staying up late, i appreciate it. >> my pleasure. >> and throughout the state, our team on the ground has been hearing from people who were there when the shooting happened. i want to share a bit of what some of them said. >> the -- number of shots that sounded like a howitzer. people started screaming, bodies, down but he's down. >> i think of my kids, we ran, we put them in the garbage dumpster. >> away from people, we were
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rushing back towards us, running away from the parade. moms and dads carrying their kids. weaving in and out of the cars, doing whatever they could to get away. >> i went to the ground, i pulled my one year old son and his stroller onto the street next to me and i tried to cover as much as i could. >> with that let's get smarter this evening with the help of our lead off panel. -- joins us, army veteran and former fbi special agent, and it distinguished research fellow at the foreign policy research institute. and former nbc news correspondent kevin tables, kevin joins us why, because highland park is his home town. kevin, were you at the parade yesterday? >> no, i was just down the street from here. i only live half a mile from this location, and i was
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writing my bicycle, i started to see the ambulances, police cars, fire department, and it was a neighbor that went out and said they are shooting at the parade. of course, the same reaction that people have been expunging all day long, is my reaction -- well it can't be true. then, when i did come up here, of course everything had been cleared out but you know, stephanie have difficulty talking about it because people say the government was on the roof of the building. as he was, you know where we used to get our kids winter boots. he was across the street from the drugstore where we used to care and get our kids school supplies. there is a pancake house. this is not supposed to happen here and as ali was just saying it is happening everywhere. i guess that is one of the reasons why i'm wearing my hp
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hat tonight because that is what people do in this town. the high schools right over there. all of the schools are right over there where our kids grew up in this town. and, it is not supposed to happen here, it is not supposed to happen anywhere else. and we are devastated, and we had the vice president come here tonight and stand on this corner. and wouldn't it have been a better occasion if the vice president would not have come here for a different reason, but that is the way it is in our little town this evening. >> kevin, you wrote a letter to the new york times saying highland park is a place where people say, we never thought this could happen here. well now it has. tell me what it is like there tonight. how do you feel, where do you go from here? >> well, i actually wrote the letter last evening when i was in a fifth of despair, as
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everyone -- i mean, how can you listen to that young girl who lost her mother at the age of 22, right over there on our main streets, and not sort of lose control of your emotions. i wrote it last evening because stephanie, i have covered more of these types of incidents then i can remember, at least 20. and all over this nation, and internationally, and it always happens in someone else's community, and now lo and behold it here this in hours. so when i wrote the letter, i was trying to be as bold as i could because it was, listen, this is our town, now it has happened in our town. it happened in san bernardino, it happened in las vegas it's happened in shard an ohio, i
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can lift off a number of places i was sent when i was still doing this for a living to talk to people in those towns about how they feel, about the fact that it happened in their town, and then of course you would move on and i would come back home and see my family, hug my kids, and head off to another story. it is no happened in this town and it is devastating. and we should be angry. the people in this town are angry. i think you could hear them doing press conferences today about people starting to clap when they talk about gun control here. this is a kind control state. this is a town that has strict regulations. but the bottom line is, when people are talking about red flag laws, i think a lot of people who live in this town want to know why there isn't a red flag that goes up anytime somebody goes into a gun shop and asks whether or not they can buy one of those things. >> that is exactly where i want
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to go with you, if we talk about with flags, if we look at this young man's imprint on the internet, the fact that he planned planted this, the fact that he was known to police, is that we don't have the right laws in place, or that our police force is not equipped to go after the right people? how does this happen? >> some of those, stephanie into parts of this problem right now. one is the frequency of the shootings that are going on i think we are in the middle of a contagion where we are seeing one shooting somewhat lead to another. are they directly connected, no. but in those online environments where this gentleman had been, many others laid at night and commiserate with their fellow shooters, this is a big incident and it tends to inspire more incidents like it. separately though it is the impact of each of these. that just comes down to the availability of weapons. why do we not see these kinds of attacks repeatedly in places like europe, it comes down to yes there is violence there, but no one has the ability to
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shoot 70 rounds. we heard that on the video, 70 rounds of matter of seconds into a large crowd of people. so you have to look at both parts to this. one part of it is, how do we restrict access to weapons for people that are obviously disturbed. the other part in terms of frequency, we just do not investigate in a nationwide way, in a consistent way, or to enforce laws in a consistent way when it comes to weapons. so at least these enormous gaps in the system. i will give you an example, if we were looking for al-qaeda or isis-inspired terrorist in the united states, that would be highly centralized. it would be through the fbi, you would see tips and leads come in. everyone would be moving in one direction which is to try and protect from violence, and terrorist groups. we can go out, and after each of these, stephanie, will probably come out here in a few weeks we will see another shooter with an online presence just like the one we saw yesterday. just like the one we saw before
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buffalo, just like the one we saw before dayton, or el paso, or any of these locations. so we just don't have that tips and leads system where we can enable on forced me to do anything then react to the scenarios. even when they do react, that shooter yesterday in some anna la veta position over a building, firing into a large crowd against law enforcement who are basically just carrying a handgun walking down the street. this is not a situation where law enforcement are going to do particularly well, and we expect them to be heroes, nearly every single day out in every single street in america at this point. >> kevin, you said -- >> hold on, stephanie -- >> yes, please -- >> i was just going to add, yes the law enforcement people here are outgunned, and they are the heroes in this case. they were all in the parade yesterday. and then they come up against this person that they have -- they know nothing about. stephanie, you mentioned we
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earlier about how our -- are the police not managing this perhaps? well how do you expect the highland park, and i'm not talking about you, but how do you expect the highland park police department to patrol the internet. when i saw that video yesterday, i had never seen before, it was a former colleague that sent it to me of this young fellows video, basically advertising that this was going to take place or at least applauding the fact that these incidents take place. i just don't know how the police force in this little town, or elsewhere -- it is not a little town, we are in suburban chicago. or elsewhere, are going to be able to police that and sort of bring this person that if they have been to his house before, yes they confiscated his knives, at some point someone has to get involved. someone has to take over from the parents, the local police,
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and the school system, and sort of get involved. but the bottom line is, you guys are absolutely right. there was a fellow with a military weapon on a roof in our downtown area right behind me here, and he was firing at will. >> i know we are out of time, but what kevin is saying, colin, i really need you to comment on. what we are asking our police departments and our schools, our high school teachers to do, our communities, how can we possibly ask local law enforcement to handle something like this? don't we need to take it to a different level? >> we do, stephanie, and we did this after 9/11. you see something, you say something right? when tips and leads go to the department of homeland security the same thing we have in the -- established ups and leads and you go through a joint terrorism task, of course this is a task force model situation where we built our network to
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counter their network. the summer shooters are not alone in -- our towns, shopping, centers schools, but they are not alone online. this really comes down to human intelligence. we have done in other contexts, we could do it here. we just have to choose to do it. i think that is the next step. someone has to take the lead, and move the ball forward. we have to be preemptive, otherwise we will keep reacting to this incident over and over again. >> thank you both, so so much. kevin, last word to you. >> we are with ourselves here. we are at war with ourselves. >> we have to end. clint watts, kevin tibbles, kevin i'm so sorry to you, your family, your communities tonight. >> thanks for having me. >> coming up, kevin just said it, we have that new reporting on a youtube channel with videos featuring the highland park shooting suspect, and what the dark web is saying about it tonight, to clinch point, these
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things do not happen in an isolated way. and later, with these new subpoenas for rudy giuliani and senator lindsey graham mean, not just for those guys, but for the former guy. ahead of next week's january 6th, during the 11th hour just getting underway on a busy tuesday night. getting underway o after having a kid, everything that you used to do for yourself goes out the window. the lines that i was seeing in my forehead were getting deeper than i was used to them being. and i realized, you know, what i can focus again on myself. so, what do you see when you look at yourself? i see someone who is growing and changing, who loves and is loved. tuesday night. botox® cosmetic is fda approved to temporarily make frown lines, the effects of botox® cosmetic may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms. alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness may be a sign of a life-threatening condition. do not receive botox® cosmetic if you have a skin infection.
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about the suspected gunman nbc news reports the eu to channel,
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the videos featuring the suspect posted it clips that implied violence, including one that appears to show the parade through -- targeted. with us tonight, nbc news senior reporter ben collins. he covers this information, and extremism on the internet. then, here we are again, you have been reporting on this nonstop. what is the latest? >> yeah, there is a new batch of youtube videos that hatched. the shooter is a status shot of the parade route that he eventually went out shooting. this is from months ago on a youtube account that was later archived on the internet. everything that we found is a manifesto that is not even a manifesto, it is a bunch of numbers that he wanted people to decrypt, but we are not going to do that for obvious reasons. this guy had been planning this, that is why we are telling you this. this guy had been plenty for this long. as an amazon e-book in february, this guy really wanted to be known as a mass shooter in the
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mass shooter culture that exists in the internet where he thought he had a community, basically. >> in the burgeoning mass shooter culture. the fact that that is even a thing, is chilling. why has that community, the dark web said since this happened? sadly this is what you have to cover every day. you live in this. >> sure, so it exist within the larger hyper violent subcultures on the internet. in those spaces after somebody -- one of their own committing mass murder, they do not admit to it, they try and pass it off on to some minority group they do not like personally. since the shooter was wearing women's clothes, and disguised tattoos that were on his face and neck, and immediately said this was a trans shooter, and this was bound to happen because for the last two months in number one enemy on the
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far-right parts of the internet has been trans people. so they never looked back into taking responsibility, they never admit they can be responsible for example an orphan child who has been out with two parents now. they do not think about this. you know, for all the political arguments they have about saving america, and all of the stuff, they do not think about the actual impact they have on america. they do not look back, they just try to blame their enemies. >> as i said, you cover this every day, the stark web, these pools within the internet. was there something that he did, you said he put every available red flag, yet this man was not stopped, was not arrested. are they are not laws in place to go after what is happening out there? are these things legal? >> well, we have now seen over and over people checking on these kinds of shooters, he had a sword taken away, knives
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taken away when he threatened to kill every member of his family. the buffalo shooter was also checked on, and he said he was joking around. in 2018, a story about a guy new mexico who said, his name was future mass shooter on the internet, they checked in and he said it was trolling. so i don't know what to say anymore. nothing is being done. fundamentally, from a federal level, or local level, nothing is being done to stop this. this is a group of people who all think they are cool, hanging out trying to get more kills than the last guy in their mass shooting, nothing is happening. it seems like gun legislation is going backwards if anything, i'm not sure any of that legislation would have stopped any of this. there is nobody checking on the spaces, they have just gotten in on all these spaces that are well organized, and they all wear the same costume, go in the same -- so it is pretty easy to go in those spaces.
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with a more dynamic threat like this, nothing is being done. we are just going to be back here in a couple of weeks. it's just going to keep happening. this is what happened in 2018 when the el paso shooting, in the -- all those other shootings that were their fourth. it compounded on top of each other because of social engagement, that is what happened over and over again. nobody is paying attention to this at the federal level. and some people, it appears, benefit from the status quo, the fear that gun violence brings to america. >> you are checking and on us. you are covering this every day. what is this like for you? >> it is difficult, because i know it is not the last one. you know, stephanie, you know it's not the last one, we've been doing this together for years. >> sadly. >> what are we supposed to say? i'm supposed to give some hope here, and say that there is some step that we can take, or something we can do better, or there is a piece of legislation in the pipeline, or a new tool
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that we can use to investigate this better. none of that is happening. nothing is happening. so, i just keep reporting on it, and that is all i can do. i can just keep saying, these people are in the same space as they were in two years, ago three years ago, four years ago, and they are still committing these terror attacks. they are still -- the communities are growing, and the disaffected people are finding the spaces easier than ever because of how the internet works. we are not adapting to help people consume information anymore. we are just not adapting to it. young people are finding horrible information very quickly, they are finding bad answers very quickly. i hope the next time we talk about this, staff which i really hope is very far time from now, i hope there's some answers by then. >> we are adapting. we are adapting to cover more
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and more shootings about -- collins, thank you for the work you do, i really appreciate it. >> thanks, steph. >> coming up, the former guy facing pressure on multiple fronts. the new subpoenas out of georgia for key members of his inner circle. ahead of another january six hearing, happening one week from today, when the 11th hour continues. from tayod, when day. ♪ ♪ i want to rock and roll all night ♪ applebee's late night. because half off is just more fun. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. among my patients, i often see them have teeth sensitivity as well as gum issues. does it worry me? absolutely. sensodyne sensitivity & gum gives us the dual action effect that really takes care of both our teeth sensitivity as well as our gum issues. there's no question it's something that i would recommend. continues.
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are following tonight, about efforts to overturn the 2020 election. investigators in georgia now moving and on trump's inner circle. today subpoenas went out to rudy giuliani, john eastman, and senator lindsey graham, among others, as part of fulton county's investigation into the trump campaign's efforts after joe biden's legitimate election win. joining us now, former federal prosecutor, tally for hidden in weinstein, an msnbc political contributor, matthew dowd. tally, how is this, what's happening in georgia, differ from with the january six committee is doing, and i have to ask, yes, on its surface, subpoenas to eastman, lindsey graham, rudy giuliani, sounds big. but any chance they are going to comply? >> yes, it doesn't just sound big, stephanie it is big. we are at this point at least two years into watching and in some cases, speculating about
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whether donald trump is going to be held accountable. either in law, or in politics. and i've always thought that he's had the most exposure in fulton county, georgia, and i am more convinced of that today. because the subpoenas really are significant. and they are through the criminal process. that is very different from political committee. not that january six committee doesn't have power to hold people in, but this is very entirely different and it does look like it's closing in on him. if you just pick any of them, what is the connection between john eastman and donald trump, and fulton county? obviously it's donald trump. he is the target here. >> matthew, it has been two years, so far the georgia investigation has gotten less attention. right now, do you see this as an annoyance for republicans, or a real big problem? >> we'll take away what was just discussed about the legal situation. and this continues to be a
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political problem that every time something like this adds on, it's more evidence that the republicans, that there are some argument to be made about the corruption they have existed in over the course of the last few years. we can discuss the legal on one side, but the political problems that the republican have, with january six, with what's going on in new york, with donald trump's continued conversations, all set up the democrats to make a valid credible argument, about keeping the republicans from power, because this is what happens. and that i think is the greatest political problem for the republicans, is that this is a mountain of evidence has gathered to be presented to the voters, that's in republicans cannot be trusted at the levers of power in america. >> well before democrats have a chance to do, that mitt romney did it. he wrote an op-ed in the atlantic, and he wants this, president joe biden is a genuinely good man, but he has yet been unable to breakthrough
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our national malady of denial, deceit, and distrust. a return of donald trump would feed the sickness, probably rendering it incurable. mitt romney though, he hasn't done much to actually rid us of donald trump or make the country where, he makes the point where the problems we are facing haven't gone anywhere. if democrats don't make this case, in a railway, come november, what are we really facing here? >> this to me or tally? >> matthew. >> so, i congratulate romney to a degree about a landing a week voice to the efforts to push back against the attacks on democracy. the problem i have with that op-ed that mitt romney wrote, fundamentally, mitt romney hasn't addressed the real problem with which is the
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elephants in the role. which is the gop. removing donald trump, he darling mar-a-lago, even if it doesn't show up in another election again, this election denials, denialism, and a on democracy, have become part of the republican party. so unless mitt romney says, the republican party no longer is a pro democracy party, which is it isn't right now, then he is just sort of weekly saying, yeah we don't want donald trump. but oh by the, way the republican party is fine, and the other thing that i -- that i would argue with rib not ronny's, if he is accessible in the republicans, and he wants to be successful in becoming part of the majority party, it puts all of those election deniers that he has talked about in power and the aftermath of the midterm. so yes, congratulate honorable, with pointy made, and he joins the pro democracy group, but fundamentally, this isn't about donald trump. this is about an anti-democratic team that now
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exist within the republican party. and that is where mitt romney should be addressing his concern. >> then tylee, this isn't about politics. how urgent is it to hold those legally accountable for their actions here? around the election. >> stephanie, it is always urgent to bring accountability as soon as possible. that is why i think the georgia case is so important because that's actually a case that can move pretty quickly. it started with an excellent piece of evidence, donald trump on tape, saying find me those votes. and now it looks like it really is building out, lining up with a number of georgia statutes about election fraud, and even a racketeering charge. accountability from anywhere right now would be incredibly meaningful, in law and politics. >> accountability anywhere.
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we're gonna leave on that note. tally for hating weinstein, matthew dowd, thank you both. coming, up he's an afghan war vet, and was once considered the next big thing in the democratic party. until he sidelines himself to fight a battle of an entirely different kind. we are gonna go one-on-one adjacent candid, when the 11th hour continues. when the 11th hour continues
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>> my next guest was once
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considered a rising star in the democratic party, jason kander was a former intelligence officer while he was serving in afghanistan. once back at home, he was elected to missouri state legislature and then became missouri's secretary of state. in 2018, canada was considering a run for the white house, and met with then-president obama. but suddenly, he put on the brakes. first he left the presidential field to run for mayor of kansas city, and he dropped out of that race, saying he was seeking help for ptsd from his time in afghanistan. today, his new memoir is out. it is a tell all about his secretly dealing with a serious condition for 11 years all while in the national spotlight. i'm happy to welcome jason kander he was the first millennial ever elected to missouri state office, and now he hopes white veteran suicide and homelessness at the veterans community project. his new book the invisible storm is soldiers memoir of politics and ptsd.
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jason, i'm grateful you wrote this, i'm grateful that your. here you are at the top of your game when you reveal to the country i need help, why did you decide to do this in such a public way and then tell you story? >> well, i decided to do an in public way because i felt like there was somebody out there who was like me who is telling themselves you know what i did was no big deal. because there are things in my case, in the army, the way they get us to go in and do the scary jobs or the difficult jobs is to tell you what you're doing is no big deal. i don't fault the army for that, because you get me to keep going into rooms where might be kidnapped or killed, i had to believe this is no big deal. the problem is, nobody clips that switch off when you are done. i think throughout our country right now, -- no big deal, i saw it on the news, no big deal i was a town over from that shooting. and we are dealing with this national trauma. this made me feel like if i can
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tell people my journey, as to how i confronted my trauma and got through to a place of post traumatic growth, then that would possibly help a lot of people. >> then are we as a country right now experiencing our own ptsd? the mass shootings, the political divide, all of that, are we experiencing our own sort of trauma. >> i believe. so i'm not a clinician, i'm just a guy who has been to a lot of therapy in the last few years. but i think so. i mean, look, i guess i would gauge it this way, and it is hard for me to separate my own experience as a combat veteran that might land to some hypervigilance, but i imagine you agree that i feel right now like if there is a parade next week in my town i will think twice about taking my kids to it. that is not natural, that is the point of terrorism. that is what they are trying to do, to inflict that trauma on all of us. you have a tendency just as the army taught me, in the western level, maybe to tell ourselves why do i have the right to
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refer that trauma. so if it is costing me sleep, if it is disrupting win some way, i will not deal with that. i don't want people to treat it that way. >> in the book, you write and say, it is not that civilians say they don't want to hear about the experiences of war, it is more likely they are just not equipped to respond, and they feel bad about that. so what do we do? because most people, within our military experience, how do we not just show our appreciation for the military but how do we help you? >> well i can tell you, individuals in the society as a whole, so individuals it is about getting involved with veterans and causes that is not for brandeis ocean, right? it is not just a matter of -- you know every commercial you see is soldier coming home to their dog, and by this car. that is fine, but if you are going to do that, some of those proceeds better go that direction. you better be out there with your employees, -- in the case of my organization building tiny houses for almost
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veterans. see, i got that in there. but it's still in politics. but, on the other side as a society one of the things i read about in the book is if you look at a lot of other cultures, when the warrior comes home, there is a bringing the warrior back in. so on a native american cultures would have the ceremony where they have the worry or come in and tell their stories of what have been in battle so everyone can hear it. the warrior does not feel separate from the tribe within the tribe, what we do is we say okay, you get a free chicken role at apple bees, and we would like you to be the same person you were before the war. it does not work that way. we have to listen to veterans, here on their -- i can tell you, as a veteran, you kind of learn which stories you can tell to people who weren't in the service, and which ones you can without them changing how they see you. and if we were just on more exposed to, it i think it would
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be that way. >> you just said jokingly i could still do a little politics. >> i fed you. that >> one about a lot of politics? because now you have experienced so much that you think that right now you will actually have more to offer than you did for five years ago? >> i definitely do think i would have more to offer. but that is just because i think i've grown. i'm a better father, husband, i'm a pretty good -- and i love doing all that stuff. >> well the country needs help. >> so one of the big -- well, let me just answer this. well first, people should read the book for -- and i'm plugging the book really hard, but i should let people know that all of my royalties go to veterans community project to fight homelessness which allows me to plug this book super hard. but to answer your question, because of the old politician me might not have, the difference between me now and then is i had to constantly think about the future and plan
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the future, because the present was intolerable. i had violent night terrors i felt like myself and family or endanger all the time, i had shame, and so thinking about what it might do next, chasing a sort of redemption goal, if i could save the country from this, that became a little bit of myself medication, a lot of myself medication. the difference now is, i'm enjoying the heck out of my life, and the president is great for me. playing baseball on an amateur men's team, softball, and a huge part of my family's life, and i'm largely the guy that i was before i was deployed, but with a lot more wisdom. which is to, say yes, at some point, i think it is possible i might run for something, but i'm just having a lot of fun right now and i guess i just feel like i have earned the right to do that, i did not used to feel that way. >> i'm grateful that you are the guy here with us tonight. thank you so very much. his book out today, invisible
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storm, a soldier's memoir of politics and ptsd. seriously go out tomorrow and get it, it is worth a read. coming up, something we find ourselves doing all too often these days. we honor those who needlessly lost their lives in yet another senseless mass shooting. when the 11th hour continues. mass shooting. when the 11th hour continues
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on the phone today, and i can't believe how many best friends katy has. how many people have said she was my best friend. >> the last thing before we go tonight, remembering lives stolen. and you know the drill. we have done this far too many times before. but this time, it happens on the 4th of july. a uniquely horrific event on a
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uniquely american hoday. so this evening, we honor those who lost their lives and highland park, simply because they went to a parade yesterday. there 63 year old jacquelyn sundheim, she was a beloved member of the north shore congressional, israel, where she taught preschool and coordinated bar and bat mitzvah ceremonies. the synagogue roads, jacqui's work, kindness, and, warmth us all. nicolas toledo-zaragoza was a 78 year old father of eight and grandfather to many. although he lived in mexico, he had been visiting and highland park. and according to reports, he didn't want to go to yesterday's parade. but his family didn't want to leave him home alone. so they brought him along. his granddaughter told the chicago sometimes, that's in his final moments, he was happy and living in the moment, watching a band go by. 88 year old stephen straus was also grandfather and a financial adviser who still committed to his job at a brokerage firm into chicago.
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along the line highland park resident, he said that stephen went to the 4th of july parade every year. then there is irena and kevin mccarthy who brought a two and a half sudden your old to a parade. arenas father tells the chicago sometimes that kevin died shielding his young son. say, he had aidan under his body when he was shot. the gofundme page has been set up for little aid in, and already has more than one point $5 million in donations. there is also a 64 year old, catherine goldstein, a mother of two, who was there with the mother with his family. spoke with the catherine's daughter casey who was next to her when she was shot. >> i looked up and i saw the shooter shooting down the kids. and i told her that it was a shooter and that she had to run. so i started running with her, and we were next to each other.
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and he shot her in the chest. and she fell down. and i knew she was dead. so i just told her that i loved her but i couldn't stop because he was still shooting everyone next to me. >> what is the memory that you want to share with us about your mom? >> i want to share how she was before she died. she was waving to the floats, every foot that walked by, she waved to them. >> she was having fun. >> yap. she was just a good mom. and i got 22 years with her. and i got to have 22 years with the best mom in the world. >> the seventh victim has yet to be identified. that just means there is another family somewhere tonight dealing with the
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unthinkable. and tonight we will think about them. and sadly, imagine soon, i will be back in this chair, with a new list of lives stolen. all because of this deadly and uniquely american problem of gun violence. and on that note, on that very sad note, i wish you all a very good night. from all of our colleagues across the networks of nbc news, thank you for staying up late with us, i will see you at the end of tomorrow. >> i am here in highland park illinois the suburbs in chicago. it's a latest american city on a long list of cities, a growing list of cities that have experience a deadly mass shooting. ties tha have experienc around 10:15 am yesterday morning, a gunman climbed up on the roof top, down the road, here behind me. and began firing towards the 4th of july parade down below him. the p

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