[ cheers and applause ]

[ cheers and applause ] in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's fantastic. fantastic new york crowd. hey, everybody! hello. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. let's get right to the news. well, you guys, last night the whole world was glued to their tv sets praying that this disaster would have a happy ending. and i'm pleased to report that it did. "the situation" was finally voted off "dancing with the stars." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's right. that's right, last night "the situation" was voted off "dancing with the stars." you could tell he was a little disappointed. after the show, he was out at a club going -- [ light laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] can't even fist pump!

hey, you guys, those chilean miners are finally being rescued. that's correct. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. president obama was actually watching some of the rescue effort on tv today. obama said he just wanted to see how they dig people out of a giant hole in other countries. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] just want to note -- just want to note that every news channel has been showing nonstop coverage of the chilean miners rescue. it's crazy. i mean, how are we supposed to know if lindsay's in jail or not, right? how am i supposed to tell? i got to read the papers? >> steve: yeah, come on. come on. >> jimmy: here's some political news. during a town hall meeting yesterday, president obama said that we have to adjust to new economic realities. well, i'm paraphrasing. what he actually said was -- [ speaking chinese ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

interesting. hey, tomorrow is the premiere of bravo's newest reality show, "the real housewives of beverly hills," you guys. [ cheers and applause ] i'm excited. although i still think they should have gone with the original title -- "people who should get stuck in a mine." but still, you never know. i mean, you never -- [ laughter ] it still could be good. check this out. yesterday, three musicians were arrested in l.a. for blocking traffic on the 101 freeway to perform an impromptu concert. yep, they played their new hit song -- [ beeping ] ♪ >> oh, god, no. are you trying to kill somebody? get out of the road! get out of the road! oh, my god. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good. they got signed. they got signed. i'm not sure what to make of this, you guys. because of budget cuts, police agencies across the u.s. are recruiting regular civilians to help them investigate crime. or as my dad put it, "who's

laughing at my metal detector now?" [ laughter ] [ mimicking metal detector ] yeah, it's a pop top from the '70s. this is big. in just three weeks, california will vote on whether or not to legalize marijuana in their state. [ cheers and applause ] which means in three weeks and one day, thousands of stoners will wake up and go, "crap, man, that was yesterday?" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "wait, so does that make today tomorrow?" [ laughter ] what? hey, i just heard about this. a woman in virginia gave birth to a healthy boy from an embryo that was frozen for almost 20 years. yeah, you can spot him in the nursery because he's the only baby wearing parachute pants. "yeah, there he is, right there."

he has the umbilical cord and he's like -- [ humming "u can't touch this" ] ♪ you can't cut this ♪ you can't cut this [ cheers and applause ] ♪ "the situation" has retired. >> steve: no. >> jimmy: is he still working? >> steve: yeah, well, he's still working somewhere. >> jimmy: oh, that's -- >> steve: it's america. ♪ >> jimmy: "the situation's" back. >> steve: well, that baby can dance. >> jimmy: love it when the audience is crazy. yeah, that's always fun. hey, listen to this. a company in pennsylvania made an arm band that monitors your physical activity, counts how many calories you've burned and then sends the information to your iphone. that's got to be a little depressing, right? you're like, "hey, i got a call. no, i'm just fat." [ laughter ] "i'm just fat."

and finally, this is interesting. pope benedict announced that the vatican is going to start using social networking sites like twitter and facebook. yeah, that's just what we need, more priests poking people, right? [ audience ohs ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we've got a fantastic show tonight, everybody. one of my favorite people, the one and only whoopi goldberg is here. [ cheers and applause ] she's hilarious. she's got a new book, very funny. the home improvement experts from "ask this old house" are here to show me how to be a man. [ cheers and applause ] sorry, how to be a handy man. they're manly dudes -- oh, they're the best. thick boston accents. >> steve: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, roger. so good, i love those dudes. and we've got some great music. oh, my -- my morning jacket is

here. [ cheers and applause ] unbelievable. so excited. it's going to be a great show. yim yames. if you watch our show, you know that i use twitter a lot, and a lot of times on twitter, these weird lists get started. like, it's like a topic with a pound sign in front of it. on twitter, they call it a hashtag. now, on last night's show, i went on twitter, and i started a hashtag called "that would be awesome." and i asked you guys at home to tweet us something that you think would be awesome if it happened. thousands of tweets came in. in fact, up till 2:00 p.m. today, it was a worldwide trending topic on twitter, which is insane. i'm so psyched about that. [ cheers and applause ] so, tonight i thought i'd share some of my favorite "that would be awesome" tweets from you guys. it's time for "late night hashtag." ♪ hashtags, hashtags hashtags, hashtags hashtags ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: all right, this first tweet is from @nocountryforoldfish. he says, "it would be awesome if

they made gushers fruit snacks for adults filled with beer." [ cheers ] sounds pretty good. he thought that'd be awesome. no snacking and driving. [ laughter ] this is from @lab31512. he said, "it'd would be awesome if the goo goo dolls and lady gaga formed a supergroup and called themselves goo goo gaga." [ laughter ] >> steve: that would be good. >> jimmy: pretty good idea. >> steve: like "the squeakuel." >> jimmy: they could at least tour together. this is from @alinaryan. she said, "it'd be awesome if everyone pretended to be robots when the miners are brought up from the mine." [ laughter ] it's like a "twilight zone" episode, like -- [ imitates robot ] "welcome to our planet." "what happened?" [ cheers and applause ] that is sick. that's sick, but it would be awesome. >> steve: the statue of liberty, halfway buried. >> jimmy: this is from @ringleaderent. he said, "it'd be awesome if employees, upon termination, were required to sing a final song before leaving like on

'american idol.' "you're fired." ♪ a moment like this some people wait a lifetime ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ you had a bad day this is from @nkoas. he says he thinks it'd be awesome, "if every time two school buses stopped next to each other, they legally had to drag race." [ laughter ] "buckle up, kids, here we go." this is from @btpetrimma. he said, "it would be awesome if bob saget came into my room every night before i went to bed and said 'night, michelle.'" [ laughter ] the weird. he's a fan of mma -- the mixed martial arts guy -- he wants bob saget to come in. that's pretty awesome. this is from @dannyboy965. he said, "it'd be awesome if boxed wine were socially acceptable so i'd look classy at parties when i broke out the franzia. what's up, ladies?" [ laughter ]

"who's first up on the box?" this last one is from @iwantddubsass. he said, "it'd be awesome if you could play human whack-a-mole with stupid people." there you go, that's tonight's "late night hashtags." [ cheers and applause ] to check out all of these and more of our favorites, go to latenightwithjimmyfallon.com. we'll be right back with "reflections with justin bieber." ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] you're at the age where you don't get thrown by curve balls. ♪ this is the age of knowing how to get things done. ♪ so why would you let something like erectile dysfunction get in your way? isn't it time you talked to your doctor about viagra? 20 million men already have. ♪ with every age comes responsibility. ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain,

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: before we get started, everybody, i just want to remind everyone that "30 rock" is doing a live episode tomorrow night. that's right, they'll be shooting -- >> oh, my god. oh, my god. oh, my god. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: alec baldwin?! good you're here. come on over and talk to me for a little bit. what's up, pal? what's going on? >> did someone say that "30 rock" is live tomorrow? nobody told me. >> jimmy: how are you, buddy? >> i'm great. how are you, buddy? >> jimmy: you're two floors up. >> yeah, we're two floors -- we're doing the show tomorrow -- 8:30 live. we're rehearsing now. i have no socks on. [ laughter ] because we're running around

kind of quickly. how are you guys doing? [ cheers ] >> jimmy: good to see you. thanks for stopping by, brother. i appreciate that. you're a good man. >> yeah, we're doing the show tomorrow, live, 8:30 on the east coast, then we do it again, 11:30 here, for live on the west coast. >> jimmy: and it's everybody. it's tina, it's tracy -- tina fey, tracy morgan. you've got judah friedlander. >> yeah. >> jimmy: the one and only alec baldwin. >> it's everybody. >> jimmy: it's everybody, yeah. it's going to be good and exciting. >> it's like "the jimmy fallon show" with jimmy in it. >> jimmy: yes, except -- >> it's everybody. >> jimmy: it's everybody. >> it's everybody. >> jimmy: dude, that's so good. well, i'll let you get back up to rehearsing. you're a good man. thank you, brother. alec baldwin, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] how fun is that? that's the best, being two floors down from -- >> steve: it's so cool upstairs. it's very exciting to walk around there. >> jimmy: yeah, they made the whole set. it's just like -- >> steve: the whole set of "30 rock" is in the "saturday night live" studio. >> jimmy: jack mcbrayer, i saw him yesterday, and -- oh, it's going to be fun. >> steve: god bless him. >> jimmy: fun show.

that's so cool for him to come by. you guys, a lot of you guys know out there -- i'm a huge justin bieber fan. i mean, i got the bieber fever. [ laughter ] and right now, i'm really happy for him because he's going to host the new version of "punk'd" on mtv. that's awesome for him. you guys know "punk'd"? it's that hidden camera show where the host plays pranks on celebrities, which is perfect for justin, because he's such a fun loving dude. but here's something that a lot of people might not realize. he also has a really serious side. in fact, i happen to know that justin bieber likes to reflect really deeply on a lot of things. here, take a look. ♪ ♪ reflections reflections, oh ♪ ♪ reflections look at my reflection ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yo, what's up? i'm justin bieber, and i'm going to reflect for a minute, if that's cool with you. [ laughter ] ♪ yeah, man, my life has just been so crazy lately. i've been so blessed.

like, my album just went double platinum. that was dope. and now, i'm going to host that show "punk'd" on mtv. that's triple dope. so, like, now i just want to sit here and, like, reflect on it for a while. ♪ yeah, man, "punk'd" is, like, a hidden camera, like, reality show where i going to, like, surprise people, and play pranks on them and stuff. so now, i'm all, like, reflecting on, like, pranks and different kinds of surprises like -- like that time usher bought me a range rover. i was real surprised by that. or like when the housing bubble burst in 2007. [ laughter ] ♪ like, housing prices were all, like, crazy high, and it was all, like, easy to get mortgages and refinance and whatever. and then it was just like boom, credit freeze, yo. straight up recession. whack attack. ♪ yeah, man, everyone says it's, like, the bank's fault. like, everyone's all like, "oh, they shouldn't be handing out subprime mortgages." but it's like, when you analyze

all the sec reports and everything, it's like, stop playing. we got to point the finger at alan greenspan. it's like that dude lowered the federal funds rate to like freakin, like, 1%." uh, hello? that's going to cause, like, crazy inflation in the housing market, dude. everybody knows that. [ laughter ] ♪ [ cell phone rings ] and oh, okay, we should probably keep the whole financial sector deregulated, too. like, probably none of the banks will ever get over-leveraged or anything like that. like, all those mortgage-backed securities are, like, totally safe to invest in. whatever, yo. [ laughter ] ♪ anyway, i'm not saying, like, the banks are innocent. like, i'm not saying the bailout wasn't whack or whatever. i'm just saying, federal reserve, yo. greenspan. dude straight up busted the housing bubble. that dude is whack. what? whatever. anyway, i'm just a regular kid. and those are my reflections. see you guys later. [ cheers and applause ]

♪ look at my reflection >> jimmy: created a wormhole. apparently, justin bieber uses a wormhole to get around. he just hops around one place to another lickety split. very interesting. stick around, everybody. we'll be right back with whoopi goldberg. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ guy #1 ] ooh! i don't know about this. bro, you can't chicken out now. yeah. can't do it. uh! it's really high. look at that boat down there. those guys have a ton of bud light.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guests is one of my favorites. she's and oscar, emmy, tony and grammy winner. she's in her fourth season as co-host on "the view." and has just released two books, the latest in her children book series "sugar plum ballerinas: terrible terrel" and "is it just me? or is it nuts out there?" she's also starring in

tyler perry's upcoming film "for colored girls," which is out november 5th. please welcome the very talented, very busy whoopi goldberg. ♪ ♪ around the world in 80 [ bleep ] days around the world in 80 [ bleep ] days ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we love you. welcome back. >> that was fantastic. it took me a second to figure out what y'all were singing. then i look -- "okay." >> jimmy: we love the roots. they're unbelievable. >> hi, y'all. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you so much for coming back on our show. i always appreciate you coming on. >> well, thanks for, you know, inviting me. >> jimmy: you're one of my favorites of all time. >> wow. ditto. i brought you cookies. >> jimmy: you did? >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: that is super nice. >> yes. well, i thought so. >> jimmy: it is. >> they come from maison du

macaron. do you like macaroons? >> jimmy: sure, absolutely. >> baby, these are going to make you scream. [ laughter ] [ imitates foreign accent ] >> jimmy: maison du macaron. >> oui, maison du macaron. i will take this one. you take one that you think you might like. >> jimmy: no problem. look at the colors on these. [ audience ohs ] are you sure these are not laced with lcd? [ laughter ] they're very colorful. >> i am not sure. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: don't answer. let me just try. whoa, man. [ laughter ] wow. >> isn't that amazing? >> jimmy: this is phenomenal. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what is this? >> it's a place at -- they're on 23rd street in the city here. >> jimmy: maison du macaron. >> yeah, i wouldn't lie about them. >> jimmy: sold! this is fantastic. >> these are amazing. i'd offer you come, but there's too many of you. [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: whoopi, whoopi -- [ laughter ] >> i know. >> jimmy: we have to talk about how you do everything at once. [ laughter ] what happened? what happened? what happened? did it make you dance?

>> it was so good. [ laughter ] it was so good, my eyes teared up. it was so good. oh, my god. >> jimmy: i almost started dancing, too. >> you could do it. you have some rhythm. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: some. i want to know how you have time to do all this great stuff. this is -- is this your second or third? >> that's the fourth in the kids' series. >> jimmy: fourth? gosh, and this is taking off. this is fantastic. >> yeah, little kids like it. i mean, it's kind of fantastic. boys like it, girls like it. it's kind of fun. and they're little girls who look like little girls, and i like that. and they're mad about little girl stuff. >> jimmy: yeah, that's exactly what it should be. and then this is a -- still a little girl, but still -- [ light laughter ] it looks like you're on the toilet there, and someone is trying to ask you for an autograph. >> yes. >> jimmy: is that what's happening? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: does that ever happen to you? >> it does happen. the last time it happened, i think that's what triggered -- you know, come on. what's going on?

you know, because people get mad at you. the lady -- the lady got mad at me that i wouldn't sign an autograph while i was sitting on the can. >> jimmy: come on! [ laughter ] >> and i said to her, "what are you doing over there? because i know i'm over here trying to release some stuff." [ laughter ] "you know, and you have the attitude with me for doing what i'm supposed to be doing in the bathroom." >> jimmy: well, at least she didn't ask for a picture. [ laughter ] then it would have been even weirder. >> well, i'm pretty sure she probably had a little something. [ laughter ] but it's all about the stuff that's making me a little nuts. you know, people on cell phones who -- you know, i love cell phones. i don't mind people having them. but i don't understand why i have to know what you're talking about. i don't understand why i'm passing you and i got to know that you got the girl pregnant. [ applause ] you know? >> jimmy: yes. >> and it turns out that, you know, she's your long-lost cousin. i don't need to know all of that. >> jimmy: there's so many funny things like that in there. yeah, i don't like that. i don't think you should use your normal volume on your cell phone. >> no. but it's like people think you've gone deaf. >> jimmy: yeah.

>> so they talk to you like on it like, "how you doing?" [ laughter ] "no, really? shut up!" and you're in church. [ laughter ] it's bad. >> jimmy: yes, it is bad. >> it's very bad. >> jimmy: that's not good. there's so many bits in there, like things that bother me. i love the thing -- don't bring smelly food into work. >> well, don't bring smelly food for lunch. don't take it on the airplane. you know? i don't understand. i guess, you know, because the planes will not feed you. people bring your food. and i understand, i like that. but at least know what it smells like to other people. [ laughter ] or, you know, if you're going out, ladies, this is particular for you, but guys have begun to do this as well. if you're going out, you just need this much cologne. [ cheers and applause ] you don't need to do this. >> jimmy: no, i know that. >> you don't need all of that. because you're on an elevator with somebody, and you're like -- [ laughter ] and they say, "how you doing?" you go, "can you not smell that?" >> jimmy: no, i know a guy like that, too. and, yeah, he smells. but i go to shake his hand, and

i don't even want to shake his hand because i'll smell like that. but he goes for the hug. he's like, "hey, man! how are you, buddy? how you doing?" i'm like, "whoa, whoa." and now i'm like, "forget about it." >> see, i get nasty. i'm like, "don't touch me!" [ laughter ] "what you smell like is going to be -- back away!" >> jimmy: yeah, you're going to get the after scent. yeah, absolutely. >> it's too much. you know, when you go to the airport, i want everybody to know that the tsa folks, they are working their behinds off. they are doing everything they can do. and people yell at them and curse them. people don't realize that that may be the seventh or eighth or ninth person that has done to them, and they have to try to be nice. you know, they're trying to keep us safe. you know you're not supposed to have a big bottle of lotion. you know that, right? [ light laughter ] but why did you bring it? [ laughter ] because you know they have to stop you now and go through your stuff and make sure you don't have any more contraband. don't take it, okay? >> jimmy: yeah. >> just don't bring it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> make life easier. why do we have to have so much strife? >> jimmy: i know, i know.

[ laughter ] but that's true. that is true. [ applause ] they're just doing their job. >> they're doing their job, man. >> jimmy: they really are. >> and everybody yells at them. people just treat them like, you know, dog mats. and i don't think it's okay. >> jimmy: that's true. people probably just get so mad that it's gotten to this level of crazy. >> you know, look. you know got to take your damn shoes off. take them off. >> jimmy: yeah. >> quit bitching about it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's true. it's like, you're not to have any liquids, unless you bought it, though, at this store. >> yes, if it's inside -- >> jimmy: it's like, "well, i'm going to make a peanut butter and jelly bomb." [ laughter ] i don't know. i don't know what's going to happen. "you can't take the sandwich in here." i'm like, "i know. i forgot i couldn't take the sandwich, but, gosh, it looks good." >> pretty soon, they're going to tell you you can't bite your nails. >> jimmy: yeah, you can't bite your nails. you can't do anything. >> they'll say, "you cannot have anything to eat on this flight, ma'am. take your fingersut of your mouth." [ laughter ] that's right. >> jimmy: you're not allowed to

eat or do anything. we want to talk more when we come back. the books are in stores now. but more with whoopi goldberg when we come back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ indistinct shouting ] ♪ another day ♪ another dollar ♪ daylight comes [ dogs barking ] ♪ i'm on my way ♪ another day ♪ another dollar ♪ working my whole life away ♪ another day ♪ another dollar ♪ talking about nutrition [ female announcer ] "i can't believe it's not butter" with no trans fat and 70% less saturated fat than butter. butter taste, better health. than butter. ate something loaded with fat? we got a beef with that. 25 of our campbell's chunky soups give you 100% lean meat and a full serving of vegetables.

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there's no substitute for the fall feeding, trust me. it is the best thing you can do for your lawn. i use scotts winterguard. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back with the one and only whoopi goldberg. >> hey, chuck! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, chuck. you're in tyler perry's new movie. >> yes, i am. >> jimmy: now, what is the movie

called now? >> it's called "for colored girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is not enuf." it was an amazing pulitzer prize-winning play, i believe, in the '70s, written by ntozake shange who was a phenomenal playwright. no one had ever seen anything like this. it was sound poetry done by all these women talking about their men, talking about their lives, talking about just what goes on in the world. and, you know, people always talked about reviving it on broadway, doing it again. and tyler perry wrote and directed the film version of it. and it's pretty -- it's pretty heavy, heady stuff. it's really good. >> jimmy: he's a great guy. >> he is a great guy. >> jimmy: he came on our show, and he was super funny. he was flying remote control planes off the desk and flying them into the audience and stuff. he loves that stuff. he's a fun guy. >> he's a fun guy. and this is a very different kind of film for him. and it's very heavy and very, very rich. but it's a tough movie. >> jimmy: this is the first dramatic role you've done in a while.

what was the last one? >> the last dramatic role? i don't know the last time i did it. >> jimmy: the one with wynonna? >> might be, might be. yeah, it's been a little while. you know, i took a break. >> jimmy: well, it looks good. i want to see it. >> well, i'm just telling you, it's tough. it's a tough movie. if you can imagine all of these insanely brilliant women, you know, phylicia rashad, thandie newton. the list of women in this goes on and on. and it's extraordinary. >> jimmy: well, just because it's calmed "for colored girls" doesn't mean i can't go. i want to see it. [ laughter ] >> i just want to tell you that i've always thought of you as a colored girl. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you. [ applause ] that's the fifth time today someone said that. >> so this is for you. [ laughter ] this is for colored girls. >> jimmy: unbelievable. >> yes, i used to be a colored girl. now i'm a black woman. >> jimmy: yes. [ laughter ] congratulations on that. >> i was a negro. >> jimmy: yes. >> i was a negro for a while. >> jimmy: really?

>> mm-hm. >> and now it's all changed. >> when i was little, i was a negro. and i grew up to be a colored girl. >> jimmy: see, evolution. >> then i was a teenage black woman, and now i'm just a gress. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i want to ask you while i have you here. you're awesome. i know you don't like to fly. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i know you don't like to fly, but you went on "the view" the other day, might be about a few months ago, and you made me laugh because you were still on plane -- >> i was still on the plane medication, yeah. because i had come back from london. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. it made me laugh so much. >> well, apparently, it made everyone laugh. >> jimmy: we showed it on our show. we have a clip of you. here's you, whoopi, on the "the view" after flying. >> it was an insanely huge party and i just got back and -- >> did you party too much, whoopi? [ light laughter ] >> well, i may have partied too much. but, you know, i have to fly drugged. >> oh, that's right. >> so i'm still slightly drugged. [ laughter ] and i'm sure, somewhere in me, i'm still partying. [ laughter ]

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, i love you. next time, you have to come party on our show. you're the greatest. [ cheers and applause ] "for colored girls" opens november 5th. whoopi goldberg, everybody. check out these books right here. the experts from "ask this old house" joins us next. there they are in the bud light lime green room. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] get to subway® tonight, cuz any regular footlong™ sub is a $5 footlong™ sub after 5pm when you buy 2 or more.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our next guests put their expertise to work each week on the emmy-nominated home

improvement show "ask this old house," one of my favorites. just launched its ninth season. it airs thursdays at 8:30 on pbs. please welcome the show's host kevin o'connor. [ cheers and applause ] general contractor tom silva. [ cheers and applause ] heating and plumbing expert richard trethewey. and landscape contractor roger cook right there, everybody. now, this is the ninth season. it was a spinoff of "this old house." and, no offense against "this old house," because i love that show, but i like this one better because it's just like, you go to people's houses and you're just like, "yeah, what's going on?" >> we go all over country. hands on and meet people and help them with a problem. >> teach them how to fix it. >> we give away some of the tricks. >> jimmy: yeah, that's good, i like this. this is awesome. now, you're going to show me some stuff. >> right here, we're going to be, yeah. >> jimmy: all right, do you want to start with kevin? >> you up for it? >> yeah, look at me. >> that's why he asked. >> they told us to make a man out of you. now, they only sent four of us. >> jimmy: unbelievable. [ boos ] [ talking over each other ]

come on, what are we doing right now? >> we're going to build a wall, all right? >> jimmy: we're going to build a wall? >> so, get the wall in there. >> jimmy: okay. >> here, you hold that. >> jimmy: this is easy. i can do this. >> if you're going to build, it starts with a stud wall. so, we've got a stud wall here. top plates -- >> jimmy: you certainly do have a stud wall. [ laughter ] >> oh, yeah. here you go, tough guy. make yourself look handsome. now, we're going to give you a nail gun. >> all right. >> jimmy: there's got to be cooler glasses than these. i mean, you had to give me these? >> he's got the door glued for you. >> he's got it glued. >> jimmy: whoa, don't point at the camera guy. he just freaked out. what do i do? >> it's cordless, all right? so you don't have a cord, yes. >> and don't nail the wall to the floor. >> it's like a bluetooth nail gun. >> jimmy: wow. >> it doesn't have any cords. now, this is going to be easy. we're going to get this guy in here, all right? >> jimmy: all right. >> now, this is going to be the easy one. i want you to -- 16 inches on center. put the gun right on there. >> jimmy: okay. watch your fingers. >> i will watch my fingers. don't you worry. push down. push hard. keep going. now fire. >> fire in the hole! [ cheers and applause ] >> put another one in there. put another one in there.

>> jimmy: oh, good, this is, like, ridiculous. people at home that really know how to do this, you're -- >> not bad, huh? >> jimmy: this is fantastic. >> all right, now that's easy. right? because you can just go right through there. here's the hard part, when you've got to get the actual stud into the sole plate. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> now you've got to go in on an angle. so come on down here. >> jimmy: okay. >> all right, this is toenailing. now, i want you to stick it on an angle like this. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and you've got to push it so it grips, and then fire. whoa. little low. oh! not too bad. get it in there. >> jimmy: lower? >> yep, get it in there. lower. >> right through his foot. right through his foot. do it. >> hey. huh? >> jimmy: is that good? >> that's good. >> jimmy: i got it in there. i angled it in there, not too shabby. take the gun. you're awesome. thank you, brother. all right. tom, what's next? tom silva in the house, here we go. >> you ever want to hang a picture on the wall, but you don't want it to fall? let's say it's a really valuable picture. >> jimmy: no, absolutely. i have nothing but picassos at my house. [ laughter ] >> you look a picasso kind of a guy. >> jimmy: most of it's scarface, yeah. >> well, trying to find that stud can be difficult. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> all right, now, here is a stud finder. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> i'm going to give you mine. >> jimmy: it's going off right now. >> it's going off all right.

>> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] look how smooth i am. >> yeah, you're smooth. >> jimmy: now, how do you do this stud finder? >> all right, first of all, you place it on the wall, and you have to activate it. so you put it on, and you wait a few seconds for it to activate. and you slide it back and forth on the wall until you find a stud. >> jimmy: that's how you find a stud? >> that's how you find a stud. let's see if you can do it. >> jimmy: i'm putting it on the wall, and i'm moving it back and forth. >> yeah. >> you can do it, jimmy. you can do it. >> jimmy: i think i can -- now just slide it back and forth. >> oh, there you go. >> jimmy: that was good. >> all right. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is exciting. you can't see it, but the audience is standing up right now. it's standing ovation. [ cheers and applause ] >> some of them are lying down. all right, the way i find a stud is i do it with my finger. i basically listen to the wall. now, i know this is a stud right there. >> jimmy: that's what -- my dad does that. >> all right, so, i want to hang that valuable picture, i want to be sure that there's a stud. >> jimmy: yes.

>> so i want to check. >> jimmy: yep. >> so, how do i check? right there. >> jimmy: oh, my god. that's where we differ. my dad never did that, no. [ laughter ] i did that a few times coming home drunk. >> but that's -- you can cover that up with a picture. >> jimmy: that's actually good, you're right. >> so it's not going to fall. >> jimmy: good idea. thanks, brother. richard. >> come up to my world. >> jimmy: we've got some plumbing, my man. >> everybody's got a toilet, and sooner or later it might get stopped up. >> jimmy: yes. >> so it looks like this. it's 1.6 gallons. this is actually one that came from one of our customers. it wasn't a customer that was slow. it wasn't a customer that was fast. it was a customer that was half-fast. >> jimmy: yeah, half-fast. >> the cutaway shows the water level right here. now, a lot of people want to have this. >> jimmy: i'm just kidding. i'm just kidding, half-fast. sorry. thank you. [ laughter ] that's a good one. >> now, everybody has a plunger like this. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and what they want to do is they want to push it this way, and if they do, you'll notice what happens. the water goes up this trap-way right here, and it gets smaller, so it can actually compress.

so the right idea is actually go just the opposite of you think. and that's go down like this and then pull backwards. >> jimmy: so that's how you use a plunger. >> that's right. you didn't know that, did you? >> jimmy: no, i had one of those plungers that used to sell on infomercials that had a handle on it. >> how did that feel? >> jimmy: awful. we had to get all new pipes. >> well, sometimes, it's not enough, and you have to step up to the next level. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> so this is actually the tool you want. this is a closet auger, designed to protect so it doesn't scratch the china right here, and goes up this way. so jim, here you go. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] >> put it down the toilet. >> jimmy: okay. thank you. >> you didn't know what you wanted -- >> jimmy: no, i didn't know where it was going to end up. >> there we go. >> jimmy: there we go. >> turn this handle. >> jimmy: all right, is this also called a snake, or no? >> just a closet auger, not a snake. go ahead. go ahead. >> jimmy: am i turning it? >> yeah, go. push, push. >> jimmy: all right, i'm good. wait, did i do it? it must be working. >> all right, now you've cleared the stoppage. now pull it back. okay, yeah, you've cleared it. >> jimmy: i did? >> roger, can you take that?

>> no. [ laughter ] >> now, most plumbing manufacturers test their toilets by filling it with what they call media. >> jimmy: media. >> this is a media. as a member of the media -- >> jimmy: the media. i'm in the media. it's just toilet paper. >> and their ultimate test is this. this is actually the way they test toilets nowadays. they put a dozen golf balls. it's good, low in fiber -- it's actually good for you. >> jimmy: they put golf balls in the toilet bowl? >> that's right, and then they flush it, and if it flushes, it's a successful toilet. >> no media in there. >> jimmy: there's no media in there. well, that's why -- i got work to do. >> no, don't shake my hand. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] thank you, brother. all right, what do we got, brother? yeah. >> what's more manly than a chainsaw? >> jimmy: a chainsaw. >> a chainsaw. >> jimmy: this is a late night show, that's right. there has to be a chainsaw tonight. >> but before the chainsaw comes safety. and the first thing we have to do is we've got to get you decked out. guys, you want to put those chaps on. >> jimmy: what is this? >> and you're gonna throw these on for me.

>> jimmy: all right. >> richard, you got a helmet for him? >> no backfiring here, okay? we're in harm's way. we want you to be safe, but we really just want you to look silly. >> jimmy: this is not how you're dressed at all. here we go. >> you got a microphone down there? >> jimmy: no. >> how about here? >> jimmy: all right. here we go. i can't hear you guys at all, so you could be making fun of me. i usually wear this outfit on the subway coming to work. and i'm not the only one -- other people wear it too. >> now, we've got to take care of this here for a second. i don't want that getting caught in the chainsaw. >> jimmy: am i going to die? [ laughter ] >> not on my watch. no, please. now we're ready for chainsaw safety, number one. >> jimmy: yep. >> there is a brake on this saw that automatically shuts the chain off if it would rise up like that. >> jimmy: okay. >> okay? number two, there's a safety here. what you're going to do is put your left hand on, wrap your hand around tight right here. it comes down here. push on the safety and then pull on the trigger. >> jimmy: roger, you're a man. >> wait. not done. >> jimmy: why? >> dangerous thing, especially when you hit the tip on a log,

it can fly up. and that's why you have that on. >> jimmy: yep. >> okay? >> jimmy: all right, perfect. >> you don't want to cut the roots. >> cut here, all right? you're just going to take the saw, right like that, pull the trigger, and go right through it. >> jimmy: all right. >> i have faith in you, buddy. >> go, baby. >> jimmy: i think i can do it. >> jimmy! go, hey! [ cheers and applause ] >> ready? >> good man, jimmy. >> feet, shoulders, legs apart. good stance. >> go for it. push the button in. [ chainsaw running ] >> jimmy: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> go, go! yeah! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: kevin o'connor, tom silva, richard trethewey and roger cook. "ask this old house" airs thursdays at 8:30 p.m. on pbs. my morning jacket performs next. ♪

>> jimmy: our next gues are

one of our favorite rock 'n' roll bands. next week, they're playing a different one of their albums in its entirety during five shows in new york. here with the song "wordless chorus" with a little help from the roots, please welcome my morning jacket! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ so much goin' on these days forget about instinct it's not what pays ♪ ♪ pleasure up and down my smile

a carton of eggs think it's all worthwhile ♪ ♪ tell me, spirit what has not been done i'll rush out and do it or are we doin' it now ♪ ♪ ah, ooh, ah ah, ooh, ah ♪ ♪ fissure is the thrill of the day forget about feeling that's not what pays ♪ ♪ but you know

all of this can change remember the promise as a kid you made ♪ ♪ ah, ooh, ah ah, ooh, ah ♪ ♪ we are the innovators they are the imitators ♪ ♪ come on hey, don't you know how we started ♪ ♪ we forgot about love

but weren't brokenhearted ♪ ♪ ah, ooh, ah ah, ooh, ah ♪ ♪ ah, ooh, ah ah, ooh, ah ♪ ♪ ooh, ooh ahh, ooh ♪ ♪ ooh, ahh