and that's what i'm doing. a free recheck of your taxes, if i got some unexpected money, my wife would want to redo the kitchen. oh, boy. $1,597. yeah! [ male singer ] h&r block. ♪ never settle for less

pedro, we've got to stop deb from going through with that dumb promise ring ceremony. it's no big deal. but deb never breaks a promise. she's super honest. you know how we're, like, supposed to pay for our school lunches? she actually does. so do i, napoleon. i pay for yours, too. sucker... so, you gonna help me or what? i'd like to, napoleon, but i worked very hard to win summer's heart and make her forget all about don. don? did somebody say "don"? was it don? (sighs) okay, we're in. did you say, "we're don"? oy... i can't believe you finally got me a gig, uncle rico. and on the high seas, no less. if there's one thing rich people love, it's amateur entertainment. thanks for the dress, mrs. moser.

i didn't know i could ever be this pretty. (scary music) (gasping) what? don't panic, deb. it's just a laugh line. a hideous, disfiguring laugh line. don shouldn't have to see that on his special day, mom. yes, let's go below deck and get that fixed right up. oh, don looks so handsome in his houseboat clothes. i'll say, he could be a presenter at an awards show. maybe at the butthole awards. we gotta get out to that houseboat. (boat approaches) that gives me an idea. follow me. this better be a really good idea. that was easy. (grunting with effort)

it's almost starting. hurry! (both grunting with effort) sit right here, deb. this is dr. jeff. he's our in-houseboat plastic surgeon. plastic surgeon?! relax, deb, this is a very simple procedure. i'm just gonna cut your face off, scoop some fat out of the cheeks, and staple it back into place. what do you say? are you with me? no, i'm not. it's okay, deb, we've all had it done. aah! i am not having plastic surgery. deb's right, there's no time. we'll botox her. we've gathered here today to bind two people in a non-binding promise. scantronica, do you have the rings? of course you do. don, you look pale and handsome, as always. tans are for poor people. and deborah, you have not been able to wipe that grin from your face since you boarded this barge. help me.

bless your heart. i don't know if we should go through with this. deb looks pretty happy. summer: that's not happiness, that's the moser botox glow. and it's supposed to be on my face. in that case, we're still a go. donald, do you promise to one day make a promise to take deb as your lawfully wedded wife? okay. and deborah, my delicate mashed potato, do you promise... no. ...to promise... no. ...to obey donald and cater to his every whim and fancy? still no. pedro... did you place any detonation charges on the bottom of the boat? was i supposed to? no, but it would have been sweet. i guess we'll just have to be explosive with our words. hey, deb! don't do this. napoleon? i owe you an apology. i'm sorry that i was right all along. that machine is stupid. i shouldn't be with tokiko, and you shouldn't be with don. are you saying you and i should be promised to each other? what?! no. guests: awww....

woman: he loves her. everyone shut up! mind your own business! come on, deb, let's get out of here. oh, you're not going anywhere. what are you gonna do about it? (snaps) (growling) i got this. no, it's too dangerous. don't worry, you don't become head cheerleader without cracking a few skulls. i'll miss you, pedro. thanks for taking me to mexico. that was my house. hi-ya! chick fight! yeah! and i've got to pick someone. tough decision. [ thinking ] okay, you can be a rising star, or... but you just ordered a crispy mcchicken and a fresh-brewed sweet tea for only a buck each off mcdonald's dollar menu, so you're smart, right? nah, i got nothing. smart man. two 7s. oh, oh, ho! oh, wow. the fox strikes again! the fox strikes again! he's always striking! [ male announcer ] the simple joy of being smart.

he's always striking! vo: funnovations inc. tests old navy godry activewear to feel dry neasy jog? dry! outrunning angry bees? still feels dry! the wicking is working! godry for the family just $7.50 to $19.50. run to old navy! [ male announcer ] introducing mio. a revolutionary water enhancer. add a little...add a lot. for a drink that's just the way you like it. make it yours. make it mio.

for a drink that's just the way you like it. -celebrating fans- fans-ravens race to the afc championship.titlethe plays that helped them take down the texans and the fans celebrating the big victory. a rash of violence.the series of crimes that has a community on edge...and the efforts to trackdown those responsible. on edge...and the efforts to trackdown those responsible. next on fox45 news at ten. (gasps) (gasps) (gasps) out of my way, you classy hag. resistance is futile, napoleon. you're tangling with a force you don't understand-- the upper-middle class! (napoleon gasps, shudders) (gasping breaths) ♪ kip? (crowd ooh-ing) hello. i'm kip create. welcome to my world of illusion and hypnotic dance.

♪ (gasps) look at that ball! (frustrated grunt) why does he always need attention? i think he's creating a diversion for us. oh. sweet. thanks, kip. better hang on. this is gonna be awesome. (whooping) pedro: oy, yo-yoy! this thing rips! if i was upper-middle class, i'd rent the crap out of one of these. you'll always be upper-middle class to me, napoleon. hey, you got your plain old face back. i missed it. aw... shut up! yes! orale! grandma: napoleon!

get that thing out of the pool! i'm trying to aqua jog! and we're looking for buried treasure. fine! (pedro yells, deb whoops) you boys get out of the pool, too. i'm gonna do some stretches you might not want to see. uh, 'nuff said, carlinda. come on, kip. i wish there were more goblets. captioning sponsored by 20th century fox television captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org wanna get away?your next chance to win a trip for two "you better believe in baltimore today cause were gonna go to the superbowl" superbowl"baltimore raining with purple pride as the ravens head to the afc championship!the power plays that help take down the

texans....and how fans are celebrating the victory. -------------------------------- -- he's caught it feels good." butt cutter in custody.where police tracked down the suspected attacker...and the terror it caused for dozens of women. p------------------------------- ---------disaster at sea after a italian cruise ship capsizes. the search for survivors and why boats captain s behind bars. (((screaming fans)))"number one...whooooooo yeah......" man)"way to go ravens." (singing dancing on bridge)"ohhhhh uh uh ohhhhh" ohhhhh"a big night in baltimore....a celebration among the 71-thousand five hundred fans.....that filled m&t bank stadium....to see the ravens advance to the a-f-c

championship ..... with a 20 to 13 victory over the houston texans. good evening.i'm jennifer gilbert.our big story tonight......the ravens move one step closer to the superbowl.....with a big in today in front of the argest crowd ever at m&t bank stadium. sports director bruce cunningham joins now with more on theeravens victory that puts them just four quarters away from indianapolis.bruce. they don't give you extra pointt for the beauty of your wins in the nfl...especially in the playoffs...and that's a good thing for the ravens... their playoff opener against the houston texans was not a thing of beauty, but it was a win...and in the playoffs, that's all that matters.. matters.. there was plenty of ugly to go around, too...first quarter, houston's jacoby jones for some reason decides to field this punt...he's hit by cary williams, and the ball goes flying...rookie jimmy smith falls on it and the ravens are in business at the 2 yard line....three plays later, they cahs it in...joe flacco to rarely used tight end kris wilson for the touchdown...his first catch of the year...the ravens led 7-3....

...later...the ravens force another turnover...tj yates lets it fly...and the ravens lardarius webb steps ii front of it...one of two interceptions on the day by webb..and the ravens are at the houston 34........from there, flacco drives them down to the 10...and then he hits anquan boldin and the veteran takes it in for the touchdown...and the ravens advance to the afc championship game, defeating the houston texans 20-13.... 3

we'll have much more on today's playoff win...morgan adsit will have postgame reaction, i go one on one with anquan boldin and cary williams..and commissioner roger goodell pays tribute to ray lewis..it's all comiig up on our expanded sunday night edition of sports unlimited, rrght after this newscast... and its a fan festivus.. . ravens fans are beaming with purple pride tonight. cheers and celebrations can be heard all around baltimore. baltimore.kaahleen cairns joins live outside m&t bank stadium with more on how fans have been celebrating.... kathleen.. look at the trash.. can see whats left of tailgate parties here.. a record crowd inside.. and possible a record breaker outside as well.. pans without tickets even battled the cold.. to see history made today. and the hoopla started, for some.. with a liquid breakfast. 3 3 (wide shot oh ohhh uh uhhhhh

singing) with the rising sun: the early birds: are ravens fans... (couple) "the atmosphere man i havent slept for a week..its like bleeding purple out here."...eager to get started tail-gating.. and texas hating:(two guys) "go ravens" for those without tickets... (high five) fans locked to parties or pubs... "you better believe in baltimore today cause were gonna go to the superbowl"the ravens rumble is here.. there.. and everywhere... (two men in orange)"move those chains..move those chains" (mark jasper)"its first quarter.. we come in we do what we do we protect our house." hundreds of people.... (tee short man)"the playoff shirts.. all of our hats" spend game time.. outside the stadium. (crazy tailgaters)"this is what we do..365 days a year we live for this"(sitting in car)"we work on the outside we do traffic control."some 'see' the game.. others only...

'hear' it. (radio nats pop) (low angle tee shirt man)"this is finally going to be our year"(sitting in car)"im just excited im here.. alot of people dont even get the opportunity to be here."(tee shirt man)"work work work.." at halftime: (sitting in car)"itss17..13"(mark jasper)"we gonna hold the lead.. " so who is leaving early:(man walking)"my wife has to go to work" his wife is a nurse.. he spent 500 dollars on two seats. (man) "ravens are worth every penny of it. " (voice only)"thirddquarter" (pointing in camera)"we will be at your door real soon"and as it wraps up: (watching tv)"ohhhhh my god... "(band playing)(kid with purple face screaming)a sea of purple.... celebrating... (man says 'w') (band playing) (texas fan)"it was a good team i wish the best for them"(band playing-man dancing at 48:32) (two kids kid screams woooo) (man and daughter) unbelievable.. "goo ravens... woooooo"(((screaming fans))) "number one...whooooooo yeah......"(man)"way to go ravens."(singing dancing on bridge)"ohhhhh uh uh ohhhhh" with the next game on the

horizon... fans have just one prediction:(man with glasses)"we on our way baby...we on our way..." tonight.. baltimore bars and restaurants are counting the cash they made from the record crowds. they are also hoping for a repeat performance next week... for the ravens on the field.. and for the fans.. who flock downtown.. to see the next big game. lv dt kc fox 45 news at 10 and one lucky middle school student was at the ravens game today.ayden lasley ... was told he couldn't wear his "ball so hard university" sweatshirt at school.the shirt is in honor of his favorite player ... linebacker terrell

suggs.the school later changed its mind.... but when suggs saw our story ....he sent ayden tickets to today's game. lasley says: 1:00:57 "not to worry i made sure...you all know t sizzle loves the kids. yeah that was pretty cool" 01:09 01:09but there's a catch ... suggs says he expects straight a's from ayden this year...so he can be a shoe-in for 'ball so hard university.' lots of people are showing off their passion for the purple.we're getting to see it with the pictures and videos you're sending us.madison from perry hall says she is one off the biggest ravens fans around. around.we have every single peice of raven's merhcandise" merhcandise"...and look at what they "found"...ravens hair straightener...ravens cereal......even a shirt for the ddg "tat nats" nats"and other fans are making their passion for the purple

permanent.the deville ink, tattoo and piercing company hosted a "tattoos for charity" event... designed for ravens fans.many fans added a new ravens accessory to their skin getting the baltimore "b" tattooed for 30 dollars... some of the proceeds went to charity. and mia is a huge ravens fan.... she sent us this picture....with her brother pepe......a great picture from the playoff game today.... keeping warm in their ravens gear as they cheered the ravens on to victory.and they're still celebrating tonight as the ravens are on the on road to indianapolis. and this purple parrot named margaret, certainly got it right!she chewed up this paper with the texans logo on it... she has all the confidence in the world that her ravens will make it all the way to the superbowl! and megan and sara sent us this photo...looks like these ladies had a purple party as they watched the game. you can see they're sporting their fu man chu's..... all in support of ravens quaterback joe flacco.

and, we want to see your purple ppide...send photos and videos to "purple at fox baltimore dot com"....also upload those photos on our see it...shoot it...send it page at fox baltimore dot com... fox 45 will have continuing coverage all week long as the ravens head to new england to face tom brady and the new england patriots. sports director bruce cunningham will be live saturday night and sunday for the big game. keep it locked right here to fox45 on air and online as we support our raaens and their quest for the a-f-c championship title. and it was a chilly one for the people who filledm&t bank stadium....are these cold temperatures going to continue tomorrow... when a lot of people have the day off? off?chief meteorologist vytas reid is standing by with your skywatch forecast.

"people who would think of committing a crime like this know they're not gonna get away with it." the virginia butt slasher in custody.where police tracked down the suspected attacker... pnd the terror it caused so many women. rescue crews still searching for dozens of passengers ... after an italian cruise ship capsizes.why the ship's captain is now behind bars tonight.

people in one brooklyn park neighborhood are on edge tonight. in just the past few weeks...they've dealt with a hate crime, arson, stabbings...and most recently tire slashings. janice park tells us...all of these incidents.... ..happening within a half mile of each othe. other. (((nats thank you honey))) (((nats enjoy the game)))rick lilly sells t shirts in the neighborhood he grew up in.. brooklyn park.he recently moved back with his 6 children. but lilly says after just 2 years...he's ready to leave again:((take sot))"then a

couple days later we had a double stabbing, it's been pretty bad lately" last week's double stabbing is just one of several recent, violent neighborhood.(((nats oh there were flames coming out of this front window and side window))) january first...police say two elderly women were the victims of arson and a hate crime. shattered glass still coats the front porch on church street...and a burned bible lies in the yard.vandals sprayed gay and racial slurs on the side of their home: ((take sot))"if my kids have ever thought about doing any of these things, i'd turn them in myself"((take sot))"two weeks later, the two elderly women and their caretaker still haven't returned, but what is here...is this metro crimestoppers poster, where they're offering a 2 thousand dollar reward"((take sot)) "it's disturbing, it's alarming, i don't want children out of the house" ((take sot)) "it makes me sad because people are losing

their houses because people are mean and stuff"then just this friday...half a mile away...people woke up to over 30 vehicles...all with their tires slashed.another disturbing event...this father of 6 says he doesn't understand.janice park, fox45 news at ten. police are searching for a driver who struck a maryland state tropper and fled the scene. i-83 is quiet now ... but just after 1 a.m. ...a trooper was hit while on a traffic stop ... near ruxtonnroad in baltimore county.the driver of a tan or gold buick fled the scene.the tropper is recovering in the hospital.anyone with information should call police. also in baltimore county, a man is killed after he was pinned under a loading ramp at a car dealership.it happened just after 10 this morning here at the heritage hyundai on york road in towson. investigators are still trying to determine what caused the

accident. we've been telling you for months about a man who was terrorizing women at shopping malls in virginia.now, the so-called "butt slasher" is in custody. police used these surveillance pictures to track down johnny gullient pimental..... at a shopping mall in his native peru.he's accused of slashing 13 young women as they shopped in virginia last year..... including this 20 year old pregnant woman.criminal profilers say the butt slasher may have some type of sexual disorder. as rescue crews search for survivors after an italian cruise ship runs aground ... italian police arrest the ship's captain. captain.passengers say the captain abandoned the doomed ship ...before everyone evacuated.police are reviewing "black box" recordings recovered from the cruise ship...to get more insight into what happennd.here's the captain ... speaking out before his arrest. schettino says: 1:34 "you need to make a decision in a moment

under pressure, with cool- headedness understand what is the best alternative to take." 1 1:41he could face manslaughter charges for abandoning ship.... an offense carrying up to 12- years.meanwhile ... divers continue to search for more than a dozen people ... including two americans still missing.at least five people have been found dead. shots fired at a midwest mall. the shoppers in panic... and what may have lead to the shooting. 3

a quirky museum makes its debut at the inner harbor ... the national pinball museum opened its doors yesterday. it's first visitors toured the gallery... which features over 100 vintage and modern pinball machines.the musuem comes to baltimore after the owner lost the lease on a location in wassington d.c. 3 3 3