and then... well, then you becomeli. where not a day goes by that i don't wishthere t screaming towards earthto b. what's so funny? dumb bastard.he's a dumb ba. hey, banjopants. hope you're in the moodfor some, and i don't mean just me. big bag of nemo's takeout. oh... picked up some dinner. stopd i also picked upsome after-. which for your sake,i've al. i have alreadystarted dinner, r. why didn't you call meahead of ? who knows?but look,!

garlic bread. well, i've made a salad,and i'v, but-- forget it. we'll eat your food. you all right? yeah, it's...fine. i'm sorry.thanks for the dinner. don't worry about it. look, i know a lotof st. feminine-ally... uh-huh... i know... i know it's--it's n. i understand that.i. thing.ow, it's likee only more...hyde. if he's the bad one? whatever. whatever. whoever it is,i knou for making a messmys on the hamper. crazs

i know thatthat's n. that's hyde. if he wasthe ba. but you know what?w. while i was out today,i. i--i really... you know, and...ouf, of all your...houlde symptoms. except for bitchy,right, ray? what do you mean? i meanthere's nothing in here for bitchy. for bitchy.eda n boy, this isjust like you, ray. any more insensitive, you can'te you rise to the occasion!

hi, are the kids home yet?i. oh, mama, mom--mom! please, just go home.it- if she wants.any this.ot afraidis jekyllwould. tell you what,i cannot.. take this anymore, ok? you make a huge mess,you do, you invite your friends over to dall day,crazy and all you can think of is. let's just load her up with drugs!" in it.'s gotst.s i can't believe you! if there's ever anything wrong, it's pms! huh? sometimes--i just--i d! someto smack you!want debra's right, raymond. i'm sorry. you smacked me! i know i did. i'm sorry. for?, what--uh--what it's just that it soundslike yog just like your father! what are you doing?!

i don't know! i don't know!it's just that... he was so awful during my...ladies' days. anytime i happenedto make a comt about his usualdisgusting behav, he would justblame it on that. that's what ray does! that's what they all do. just trying to help!abom you should be quiet. yes! yes. oh, no. what he did.to k look what he bought me. magic pills. i should try some. [imitates gulping]mmm! ! just flew off the bed and into the hamper.the. oh. let me have one. ohh... into the garbage can.crawled rit whatit's me! raymie!mom? raymond, you know that i always let you twofi, but i can't let you go on

with this cycle of your father's imbecility. i'm out of here. oh, come on. where you going? maybe i'll call amy. maybe i'll go to the mall, do some shopping. to your father.o.i'm gonna talk please!ase, come on, raymond, don't yousay one more , right back in hereour mother to smack the crapout of you. perfectly bite-sized drops of rich and creamy chocolate happiness. when the chocolate is hershey's, life is delicious.

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hi. oh, you're home. did you have a good time? yeah. what did you do? i told you.i went shopping with. shopping...for 5 hours? where are your...sh? i didn't buy anything. we just walked aroundfor a whil, then we went back to amy'sand j, talking, relaxing. oh. sitting around,talking,. you want to hear my evening? i fed the kids dinner,peanu. then i gave 'em a bath'causd in peanut butter and jelly. sleep in a tree house, won'm and then they went to bed,y. so, that was my evening.tha. well, that's my eveningevery ni- oh, don't even! you just wanted met. what? yes. it's not fair.you t and dowhatever you want, and--and--let's just sa- use your "ladies' days"e

to treat me rottenevery. my needing to getout of here one has nothing to dowith my "ladie" bull-loney. what? baloney! you wanna see?'cause i ? i don't care anymore. i tried to be nice,and . here. look at this.you ? that's today.now, this . last month,cidencethat y the garbage can.clubsupn i'm telling you,i'm sic. all right? every monthto screaming at mefor no r, crying over nothing. cr, and you won't evenadmit. might be the problem!d t enjoy your ladies' daysu treated like this. desee "oh,look what day it is.

oh, come here, ray."pow! "oh, oh, i've beensavin" you're like,era couple , hey, you know.".i was j, and by the way, the nex, i shot a 110.so, don't k i don't knowyou put a c. you are out of your mind. no, you are... once a month! if what i'm sayingisn't, on all the other days?ts i treat you just fine, ray. you're just mad'cause you had td one lousy nightwith the kids. oh, so you don't get crazyt? no. you remain perfectly calm, don't overreact, uh,don't t, or yell at me likea screami. no. i do not. 4:38 today... right whenthe guys . debra's voice: i'vetold yous when you empty the dryer,yo!

look at all this lint!what,? maybe i'll get yousome for . happy birthday, ray.here's ! i just thoughtyou'd, yo, want to hearwhat you soe when you're like this. ok? you are a gigantic ass! 10:32, "gigantic ass." listen, i'm sorry. i know what it's liketo hea. i remember when i heardmy f. [debra crying]

first of all, i sounded. i said, do i reallysoun? and andy said-- oh, would you stop it! i'm not crying becauseof what i. an insensitive durfwadmarried to for his wife,of tryingto make lr tape-records herso he has proof that she'sa terrible person. what's a durfwad? what, was that tapefor the guys? you gonna play itfor the guys? "hey, come on, fellas,step righp and listen to the witchwho kill" no. no.it's just for us. yeah. yeah. where'smy tape recorder, ray? where was my tape recorder when i was in laborwith the twi, if the tv gets espn?he nurse well, i mean, 36 hours,. yeah. guess what?it's even longr when you're tryingto push 2 hums out of your body whileyour husb,

"does this hospitalhave fudgesi" yeah. where'smy tape recorder, ? or when you ask mewhy i get so t because i find yourunderpants i? or when you started snoringat m? or when you tapeda football game over our wedding video? do you--do you reallyne? you seem to remembereve. that's right, ray.i remember ev, and i'm not gonnaforget either. honey, i think you makesome, but i can't helpwondering t, maybe part of the reasyou'rw might possiblybe pms-re. would somebody get mea tape recr because i cannotelieveyou just . i don't knowwha. i just don'tknow wt to do. yeah. no kidding. that i have---and i'm ng is that how youhelp me-, by tling mei have pms? llwhat dyou nt me to drathat ds! don't ow whato do!

owe tjustit m llwhhug?haveyes, a hug.habngg?s! did you ever thinkof hu? trying to kill you.g somne who's well, it nevero! yonever eventri! welllook!thiss not huable! well, it nevero! this--this is t debra! th is the wonwhows up oe a month ip intme likea monkeyn a cupcak! all right, that's it! that's the reasoni taped you-- so you could hear yourself and maybe admit thatthere mightm that isn't just mebeing a dorkwg or whatever! [telephone rings] hello? hi, amy. yeah. yeah. you went backfor that d? how much was it? oh! you are so bad. yeah. right. right. right. oh, god. i know.me, too.

oh, god. ok, well, listen. i'll call you tomorrow, ok? ok. all right. bye-bye. feeling better? she's so funny. yeah, she is. could we put her numberon speed? listen, ray.oh.. i guess i ama littl. i didn't wantto say anything. listen, i... i--i don't mean to--tol. i know. i know. i know. come on. sit.

no. it's ok. ray. honey, listen. it's just that,you , i need a littleunde, just a little caring. i need to know that,you, if i'm going througha r, that--thatyou're there , and that you want to,yo, just take care of me. i do want to. you're my girl. i love you, ray. oh, god,you're a mess. i know. that i got you?t tojust try thos 'cause i really justwant you to. yeah. i know, buti justw

that no pill'sgonna sol. yeah. i know.i know that. i mean,do you have any a what goes on in here? yeah. let mejust get 'em. i know, but-- yes, there'sall these e- i know. listen,i'm very into al. let me get the pills. here we go.hmm? here we go. it's ok. it's ok.look, it's for, "for bloating, cramps,"and, oh,, "irritabilityassociated with pm"

we have a winner. goes greatwith ginger ale. ok. here we go. here we go. what? hey! come on. why don't you justlock c for a few days? what? you're the one... you, you're the onewho said hug. the hug was your idea! [sighs] come on, comet. [ male announcer ] we all deserve a good night's sleep. thankfully, there's zzzquil. it's not for colds,

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pillsbury grands biscuits. let the making begin. so i should probably get the last roll... yeah but i practiced my bassoon. [ mom ] and i listened. [ brother ] i can do this. [ imitates robot ] everyone deserves ooey, gooey, pillsbury cinnamon rolls. make the weekend pop. everyone deserves ooey, gooey, pillsbury cinnamon rolls. so you think i'm justrude and i, that i'm so toughto live with and you'rethe queen of sheba? did you everhear yourself? well,in case you haven't, here's a little trick thatmy bo. i said, where's my eggs? wait a minute.wait a minute. here, here it is. minute. they're not dirty.just ! aw, crap! hey, where you going? you scared you're gonna hearsom? frank: if i scratch it,it's! captioning made possible by talk productions

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technology that lets you play with the big boys. that's powerful. ♪ that's powerful. (jan) are you listening to me, michael? affirmative. what did i just say? you just said-- let me, uh... check my notes. you just said... alan and i have created an incentive program-- hey! hey, how is alan? tell alan that the mets suck. okay? from me, big time. go pirates! not gonna do that, michael. we've created an incentive program to increase sales. uh-huh. at the end of the month, you can reward your top seller with a prize worth up to $1,000. whoa, howdy ho. wow, 1,000 big ones. that's cool. do i, uh, do i get to pick the prize? uh...yes. yes, you can. um, question: does "top salesman" include people who were at one time such outstanding salesmen that they've been promoted to-- no, michael.

no, you can't win this prize. i didn't mean me. [upbeat rock music] ♪

♪ you're the star of the team ♪ you deserve to smell fresh with a confident gleam ♪ ♪ you took a 40-minute shower ♪ and missed the second half of the game ♪ [ old spice whistle ] is find out what motivates people more than anything else. ♪ and missed the second half of the game ♪ sex. it's illegal. i can't do that. next best thing. torture. come on, dwight. just help me out here. that's stupid. um, michael-- pam! hey, there's-- burger with cheese! there's a person here-- and fries! there's-- and shake! what? go ahead. there's a person here who wants to sell handbags. no, no, no. no vendors in the office. that is a distraction. okay, i told her you'd talk to her at least-- pam, come on, i'm busy. so just tell her to go away. okay. [sigh] all right, i'll talk to her. this one is hand-embroidered. all right, girls, break it up. you're being infiltrated. cock in the henhouse. cocks in the henhouse. don't sayocks. ohh! ahem!

[british accent] what is your name, mfair lass? katy. ah, katy. wow, look at you! you are, uh, you're like the new and improved pam. pam 6.0. [laughing] ohh, look! oh, hey, no cat fights, you two. i'm against violence in the workplace. so am i. nobody cares what you think. doesn't matter. so, uh, yoknow what? i usually don't allow solicitors in the office. but today, i am going to break some rules. and you can have the conference room. it's yours, all day. wow, thanks. there's an hr meeting in there at 11:30. well, let's put them in the hallway. we'll give them some chairs. right? decisiveness! one of the keys to success, according to small businessman. i do, i read small businessman. i also subscribe to usa today, and american way, um, magazine. that's the in-flight magazine. some great articles in that. they did this great profile last month

of doris roberts, and where she likes to eat when she's in phoenix. illuminating. this is my conference room. so please, uh, make yourself at home. whatever you need, i'm right on the other side of this wall. used to be a window here. there's not anymore. so that's where i will be. so, ahem... if you need anything else, something to make you more comfortable... just don't hesitate to ask. i'm right here. i guess a cup of coffee would be great. wait a second! ah! i should have spotted another addict. oh, gotta love the 'bucks! what? it's like a slang for starbucks. they're all over the place. oh, man, that place is like the promised land to me. what a business model too. oh, too bad we don't have the good stuff here. regular coffee is fine. no, it's not, it's-- no, really, it is. no, here's the thing. you know, i do my best to--

to be my own man, and, uh... go by the beat of a different drummer. and nobody gets me. and they're always putting up walls, and i'm always tearing them down. just breaking down barriers. that's what i do all day. so...a coffee. regular coffee. for you. high test or unleaded? bring it on. ooh, ho! whoo! i will, i'll bring it on! all right! so...are you jealous 'cause there's another girl around? no. she's prettier than you, though. that's a very rude thing to say, kevin. so you like the periwinkles and the purples? (dwight) the purse girl hits everything on my checklist.

creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts-- not for me, for my children. the schrutes produce very thirsty babies. there you go! nice, steaming hot cup of joe. thank you. i have an idea. why don't i introduce you around. you know, you can kind of get your foot in the door, meet potential clientele, right? gosh, i'm-- i would love to, but my purses, i should, um-- oh, um, well, we can have ryan take a look. ryan, would you look after the purses, please? uh, i'm installing file share on all the computers. yeah, well, blah dee blooh dah blah blah. techno babble. just do it, okay? we have company, right? you should sell a lot here, because this branch made over $1 million last year. not that we're all millionaires. i'm probably closest, so... here's oscar! oscar, this is katy. i'm on the phone. ooh, ooh, oh, oscar the grouch. right? i thought of that. that was on sesame street. i know, i know, i know. i made the connection. can you believe he'd never heard that before he worked here?

no, i don't believe that. i know, it's unbelievable. here is toby from human resources. katy, toby. toby, katy! hi, nice to meet you. did you go to bishop o'hara? yeah. yeah, me too. cool. what year were you there? '89. toby's divorced. he, uh...god. recently, right? yeah. you and your wife? and you have kids? a girl. oh, that's so... that was really messy. he slept one night in your car too? i should probably get back to my table. okay, all right. cool. see you in a bit. oh! hey, she's cute. cutie pie. back to work! i live by one rule. no office romances, no way. very messy, inappropriate. no. but... i live by another rule. just do it. nike.

you tell us what you want to pay, and we give you a range of coverages to choose from. who is she? that's flobot. she's this new robot we're trying out, mostly for, like, small stuff. wow! look at her go! she's pretty good. she's pretty good. hey, flobot, great job. oops. [ powers down ] uh-oh, flobot is broken. the "name your price" tool, only from progressive. call or click today.

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