>> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- jeremy renner carol burnett mario batali

and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 139! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about right there! [ cheers and applause ] hello, everybody! welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." thank you for being here, everyone. you've made it. this is it. we're here. this is the show. [ cheers and applause ] big show tonight, i'm very excited. first, this is what everyone's talk about. this seems crazy to me. but a group in russia has just

nominated vladimir putin for a a nobel peace prize. [ laughter ] they just nominated putin for a a nobel peace prize. when putin heard that, he said "i'm all about achieving peace. like piece of ukraine, piece of poland." [ laughter ] "i hope to win many more pieces. is a great game." >> steve: great game!. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i heard that -- some political news here, that democrats are starting to turn to bill clinton instead of president obama to appeal to the voters for the upcoming midterm elections. that's how cool bill clinton is. once you go black, you actually do go back. i mean, its, that's very rare. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's how cool he is. >> steve: it happened. it happened. >> jimmy: that's right. democrats are turning to bill clinton instead of president obama to appeal to voters. of course, bill doesn't like stealing the spotlight from obama, he loves it. [ laughter ] [ clinton impression ] "bring me back baby, bring me back." [ laughter ] well, this is interesting.

last night if you watched "60 minutes," fbi director james coney, he went on "60 minutes" to address all the issues the u.s. is facing right now. a lot of the problems are pretty complex. so he made sure to put it in terms that we definitely understand. watch. >> the internet is the most dangerous parking lot imaginable. when i last left government, my sense of this was kind of like four-year-old soccer. so like a clump of 4-year-olds chasing the ball. i think of it as kind of an evil layer cake. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: even dr. phil's like what the hell's this nut job talking about? "it's the beaver that builds it, but the humans that say dam." huh? >> steve: what? >> jimmy: "you can't make a a margarita without squeezing a a few cactuses." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here's some sports news. on saturday the san francisco giants beat the nationals in washington after 18 innings. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: 18 innings.

the longest postseason game in baseball history. yeah, proving that even in sports, it takes forever to get something done in washington. [ laughter and applause ] really, even in sports. "it's the 18th inning." [ applause ] the giants beat the nationals after an 18-inning game that lasted more than six hours. you can tell the game was long because the beer man actually started sell coffee. he was like "get your dark roast here!" [ laughter ] everyone's talking about the number one movie this weekend, "gone girl" which made $38 million dollars. "gone girl." [ applause ] "gone girl." it's about a wife whose husband tried to make her sit through an 18-inning baseball game. "i'm out of here. that's it this is --." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this just kind of made me laugh, i watched this over the weekend. a pair of newscasters up in boston came back from commercial and something was a a little off. just watch. >> good morning, everybody. thanks for joining us this morning on this october 4th. [ laughter and applause ]

>> jimmy: look at that guy's coffee mug again. just hold it like -- yeah. [ laughter ] the only way you can save that is like, "mugs, are they safer held upside down? a new report finds the answer." [ laughter and applause ] "what do you do with it? do i wear it?" no, it's a mug, you drink out of it! "what was it? i don't know what this thing is. what is this thing?" [ laughter ] it's a mug? "do i write with it? help me, help me." don't write with it. it's a mug. uh, guys, pizza hut is celebrating the 30th anniversary of "book it." [ cheers ] a program that -- yeah, a a program that motivates children to read by giving them free pizza. it combines america's two favorite things. pizza and lying about reading books. it's fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] "i read 50 books." yeah, right, here's your free

pizza. finally, last week -- did you see this video? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: last week a canadian singer, very good singer, by the way, great voice. >> steve: beautiful, beautiful voice. >> jimmy: did you see this? [ laughter ] >> steve: voice like an angel. >> jimmy: he has a voice like an angel. he took the ice before a hockey game to perform his country's national anthem. a big deal, right. >> steve: yeah, big deal. >> jimmy: so, he decides to skate around as he sang. >> steve: exactly. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: take a look at how that worked out for him. ♪ o canada our home and native land ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ true patriot love in all -- ♪ [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: [ mumbling o canada ]. you got to give it to him, he stuck al the way through it. [ laughter ] ♪ o canada how is that not going to end

that way? guys, we have a great show. give it up for the roots right now, let's start this up! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is legendary aerosmith guitarist joe perry sitting with the roots tonight! [ cheers and applause ]

that's so much fun. joe's brand new autobiography "rocks" which is in stores tomorrow. uh, thank you so much for being here, buddy, i mean how would you -- >> thank you, man. >> jimmy: please, we love having you. this is -- there's some good dirt in this one. >> oh, yeah, there is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, i don't even know how you said yes to the this. but this, you've gotta check this out. [ laughter ] you guys, if you want to read some good stuff. check out "rocks." it's out tomorrow, thanks so much, buddy, joe perry. [ cheers and applause ] it's crazy, what a fun show. it's monday. we're so excited to be back. we've got a big week of shows coming up. kristen stewart, robert downey jr. >> steve: what? [ applause ] >> jimmy: robert downey jr. >> steve: wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: steve carell. jada pinkett smith will be joining us. >> steve: what!? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we've got performances from jason aldean, and big and rich. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: big and rich have a a new one out! >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: but first, we have a a fun show tonight, i'm so excited, this guy is great in everything he does, his new movie "kill the messenger" hits theaters friday.

jeremy renner is here! >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: knows what's up. plus, oh, man, she's about to star on broadway in the play called "love letters." we're honored to have her on the show. carol burnett is stopping by the show! [ cheers and applause ] come on. >> steve: that's a show! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a show. it gets better. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: there's more! >> steve: there's more? there can't be more! >> jimmy: yes, there's more! one of the best chefs in the world. we're cooking with mario batali tonight! >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: got a new book, my man mario. >> steve: mario! [ super mario voice ] hey, it's-a me mario! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he is the best. he is the best. so we've been hyping this, we've been hyping this night up. we've been hyping it up. >> steve: and it's finally here. >> jimmy: it's finally here. tonight is the night. this is it, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so exciting! turn up your television sets. here's what happened. will.i.am came on the show a a couple months ago and preformed for us. and backstage he said you know, i'm a fan of the show.

i like the sketch you do, "ew." [ laughter ] which is, this character, where i play a 15-year-old girl named sara with no h because hs are ew. ew! [ laughter ] so he liked that, i said we can write something the next time you come on we'll do that. and he goes, "oh i'd love to. that would be so fun." he goes, "or we can work on a a song. we can do a song together." and i go, what? [ laughter ] so i didn't let him leave. i cornered him in the room. [ laughter ] yeah, i go, you wanna -- so anyways, he goes yeah, i'd love to. lets do work on a song some type of fun song, like a pop song. i said this is unbelievable. so he gave me his e-mail address which is will.i.am@yahoo.com. [ laughter ] >> steve: wait, wait, hold on. >> jimmy: so then me and the writers go back, we're trying to figure out things, before we can write one line to this thing, three days later he send meese a produced done complete song called "ew." and it's me, this is real. so he's a character mir.i.am. a 15-year-old girl mir.i.am.

[ laughter ] well, you got to see it. ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, here's the world premiere of "ew." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seriously? ♪ look at her butt ew oh she looks like a slut ew ♪ ♪ i'm like what the what ew right right ew ew ♪ ♪ oh you got to see this oh my gross i can't believe it ew ♪ ♪ she's so basically basic ew she's literally making me sick ew ♪ ♪ this is embarrassing ew ew like seriously seriously ew ew ♪ ♪ no seriously seriously ew ew i can't i can't ew ew ♪ ♪ look at look at that omfng what the f you're gonna freakin' flip ♪ ♪ like seriously freakin' flip 'cause sally's mad at iggy because iggy's booty's ♪ ♪ more biggy and sally's booty's twiggy so ♪ ♪ she called her friend sibby now sally's gonna get impliggys ♪ >> what's impliggys? >> implants silly. ♪ ew i'm freaking for real i think silicon butts are ew ew ♪

♪ where'd she get that outfit ew ♪ ♪ that girl is totally ratchet ew ♪ ♪ no seriously who likes that ew ♪ ♪ right right ew ew look at the way she takes pics ♪ ♪ and what's up with those duck lips ew ♪ ♪ she's so lame ew super lame ew ew ♪ ♪ this is embarassing ew ew like seriously seriously ew ew ♪ ♪ no seriously seriously ew ew oh my gosh ew ew ♪ ♪ i am not hating i am merely conversating with my b.f.f sara so bust yo rhyme sara ♪ ♪ it's mir.i.am and you know who now here's some things i think are ew ♪ ♪ facetime and reclining in airplane seats and then vine-ing ♪ ♪ retweeting tweets i'm not lying 'cause even rhyming's annoying ♪ ♪ bread bowls and ravioli cassarole rolli-poli catapiller i mean really ♪ ♪ ♪ ew [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew seriously ♪ ♪ yeah hello my name is sara that's sara with no h ♪ ♪ too bad if you don't like it 'cause haters gonna hate my step-dad gary ♪

♪ he tries to act so cool ew every time we see him my friends and i say ew ♪ ♪ yeah hey funky bunch what are you guys doin'? ♪ >> oh my gosh it's my step-dad gary. and he just ruined it! ♪ i heard the funky beat that you was playin' down here ♪ ♪ it's a party over here it's a party over here ♪ ♪ ew ♪ ew ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! my thanks to the genius will.i.am! [ cheers and applause ] that's so fun. come on, that's amazing he did that. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: it's so fun. guys --- >> steve: i like how you shaved from here to here. he didn't shave at all. >> jimmy: no, he didn't shave at all, he has a full beard. yeah, i shaved compeltely. it's so fun doing that. guys, call your local radio deejays. [ laughter ] request this song "ew" by jimmy fallon and will.i.am.

let's see if we can break the billboard 100. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: i'll take 99. [ cheers and applause ] call everybody. it's streaming right now. check it out, guys. we'll be right back with jeremy renner. ew! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ some cash back cards only let you earn bonus cash back at a few places. then those categories change every few months! first coffee shops... then amusement parks. i am not amused. but the quicksilver card from capital one is going its own way. because quicksilver earns you unlimited 1.5% cash back on everything you buy, everywhere you buy it. ♪ don't follow the crowd. what's in your wallet?

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest this evening is an oscar and golden globe nominated actor. you know him from movies such as "the hurt locker" and "american hustle," and of course as hawkeye in "the avengers." his new movie "kill the messenger" features an all-star cast and is in select theaters starting friday. please welcome back to the show, a great actor. here is jeremy renner. [ applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: jeremy renner! my goodness. that's what i'm talking about, brother. thank you for coming to the new digs. >> this is fantastic. congratulations. this is awesome. >> jimmy: thank you so much. oh, please. >> what's changed? >> jimmy: well, nothing's changed that much. we're on an hour earlier. i got a lot of botox and -- besides that. let's talk about you. what's changed -- last time i saw you, you didn't have a a beautiful little baby. >> that's right, that's right. i do have that. >> jimmy: a beautiful -- how old is she now? >> she's 19 months. >> jimmy: 19 months. i'm doing the math. that's a year and a half. >> year and a halfish, yeah. >> jimmy: oh my gosh, that's so cute. that's the best. >> yours is 14, 14 months? >> jimmy: again, women are good with the months. i'm just around a year. [ laughter ] "my son's 49 months." and i'm like, "he's 15?" [ laughter ]

i'm not good with, yeah -- i'm carrying the two. yeah. around a year. is my baby. yeah, yeah, yeah. it's the cutest thing. she's saying dada? >> yeah, yeah. we talk on facetime a lot. and she talks and she -- yeah, it's amazing. >> jimmy: she knows it's daddy yeah, and you casually slipped in an interview recently that you're married. and no one knew that. >> no. [ laughter ] well, somebody asked. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was thinking about that last time. [ laughter and applause ] you didn't hint it to me -- you could of hinted jimmy -- hey well, congratulations on that. >> that's old news to me -- >> jimmy: i know, but to me it's not. it's new news. so happy belated. congratulations. >> i guess, yeah. >> jimmy: can i still technically buy you a present? or no? >> you can buy me a present whenever you want. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's too late, it's too late. i want to thank you for finally joining twitter. because we're begging you to do it. i go, "do it.

it's fun." and you go, "i'm too busy. i don't want to do this stuff." now you're on twitter. >> yeah. >> jimmy: @renner4real. >> right. >> jimmy: number 4. >> because my name was already taken in a bunch of different ways. which is crazy. because i don't know how many people were following some crazy guy -- trying to be me. >> jimmy: i was following that fake jeremy renner. [ laughter ] he told me you got married years ago. [ laughter ] he was a great guy, that guy. you put up a picture of a -- you put up fun, fun pictures. i love it. this is a throwback thursday photo of you at a halloween party -- no, an '80s theme party from a few years back. this one. [ laughter ] eyeliner, earrings, that is fantastic right there. this is an '80s party? >> it was -- well, in 2005. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was a throwback then. >> jimmy: yeah it is like this looks like a nice move. we threw a party for my wife and she had an '80s themed prom party.

so this is me and my wife. [ laughter ] >> you were in character. >> jimmy: i was definitely in -- too much in character, yeah. she's like, "hey, snap out of it, buddy." yeah, "where is the keg at man?" [ laughter ] it's a fun night. but this guy -- who is this? [ talking in british accent ] >> hello. i'm going to good get some shots. >> jimmy: simon le bon. >> jimmy: it's simon le bon's brother, yeah. yeah, it's chad le bon. yeah, it's chad le bon. but i love this stuff. but here's one you have -- this is when you're doing -- this is "avengers"? >> yeah, yeah, "age of ultron." >> jimmy: "age of ultron." you're doing that movie, you're doing "mission: impossible 5", you're doing the new bourne movie. and matt damon's coming back to do it with you. i mean you just do nothing but franchises -- and hit movies. [ cheers and applause ] >> good time. >> jimmy: good time, fantastic time to be you. >> it's good time to be me. >> jimmy: this is a photo of you. i guess -- >> i was bored on set. and then i was bored of -- we were doing a scene with the stunt double and she wears this sort of mask so i wanted to wear the mask --

>> jimmy: the woman is scarlett johansson's stunt double. has a mask that looks like scarlett johansson. and so you put on the mask and took this very confusing photo. i don't know what's going on there. just the oddest -- [ laughter ] >> it's creepy right? >> jimmy: has scarlet seen this? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: it's just so creepy it's just going to ruin the whole thing for me there. scarlet is working out i guess. [ laughter ] i want to talk about this film, "kill the messenger." this took a long time to make for you. this is a kind of a passion project. >> yeah, it's a story that broke around where i'm from in northern california by a guy named gary webb at a smaller newspaper. and the themes of the movie are what i was attracted to. sort of david and goliath. every man in extraordinary circumstances kind of storytelling. and then because it was a true story and it happened where i'm from, it was very important to me. >> jimmy: what years is this -- >> this is like 1995 and he

wrote about a story that was in the mid-80s. and tail end of iran-contra. and sort of uncovering the government involvement or just looking the other way of allowing, you know, crack cocaine being pumped into the streets of america. >> jimmy: and how did you get an amazing cast? >> we had an amazing cast. >> jimmy: is it a big budget film -- >> we're not swooning them by dollars. we have no money to make this, so i had to offer up washing the car, doing the laundry. [ laughter ] whatever i had to do. >> jimmy: and also a good juicy role. >> and if you operate in the order like i'm going to wash your car for a year, you better stand by it. because you don't want ray liotta coming after you -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah. karen! you don't want to mess with that guy at all. i don't mess with that. i want to show everyone a clip. here is our pal, jeremy renner in "kill the messenger" in theaters friday. check it out. >> gary. look, i'm trying to keep you on the payroll. okay? i'm trying --

>> you know i'm not to sit back and be quiet and do nothing so i can collect your [ bleep ] check? you know that, they know me. i'm gonna keep going. i'm gonna finish this. for you, i'm gonna do it for somebody else. >> look, there's a staff meeting tomorrow, we'll talk about it there, okay? >> okay. >> okay. [ door shuts ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ooh. my thanks to jeremy renner. "kill the messenger" is in theaters friday. check it out. more of "the tonight show" after the break. stick around everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ready for a great career? devry university's merit-based career catalyst scholarship can help you get started with up to $20,000 for qualified new students. apply now and start working

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a tony, emmy and golden globe award-winning actress and comedy legend. starting october 11th, you can see her on broadway in "love letters" at the brooks atkinson theater. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome carol burnett! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: how are you? that's what i'm talking about right there! please. >> where's steve? where's steve? where is he? >> jimmy: steve is walking around right now. >> oh is he? okay. hi, steve. >> jimmy: steve higgins is here. >> i watch you guys all the time. i love you. >> jimmy: you do? >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: come on. the roots played your theme. >> the roots. thank you so much. >> jimmy: we're just psyched to have you here. we're so psyched, because i know you're west coast a lot, you're l.a. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: but now you're here. >> yes i'm here. i love it. i watch you all the time. >> jimmy: i got a great note from you, and i'll never forget it. i want to get it framed, but i didn't want to say that in front of you. [ laughter ] >> what i said was, "you are permanently terrific." >> jimmy: yeah. i love that so much. no one has ever said that. thank you so much. please, coming from you, i mean -- you can't tell but when you walk by people and you're you, you're probably used to it. but people behind you are going, [ whispering ] "oh my god. that's carol burnett." [ laughter ] and people love you so much. they freak out. >> i'm just glad i didn't get mugged. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. it's a tough city. it's a tough city.

we have your book. i have your book, i read it. "this time together." >> thank you. >> jimmy: and i've read it, and gosh, if you're a fan of comedy you have to read this book. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's just so fun and you see how much fun you put into everything. >> we had a ball. >> jimmy: that's the whole thing. >> definitely. >> jimmy: that's what i try to tell people, just have fun and it will come through and you'll see it. and a lot of people say that when i was coming up on "saturday night live," they said we had a lot in common because they thought that we broke character a lot in sketches and started laughing. >> well i never did. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, well -- neither did i. >> no, i never. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i never would even -- >> i watched you all the time. i was amazed at how you could keep it together. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you so much. that's what i was saying about you and your show, that no one ever laughed. just the audience. [ laughter ] >> well, i had a trick. at one point when tim and i would do "tugball and wiggins" -- >> jimmy: oh my gosh, yeah. >> you know, the secretary and you know that -- anyway, she, mrs. wiggins, could never laugh because the

i.q. fairy never paid her a a visit. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she was a little dimwitted. >> so tim was always coming up with one-liners and stuff like that. and the only way i could keep from laughing -- because i didn't want to spoil the sketch, it was so good, you know. when you see any reruns or anything, i'm doing this a lot. like that. >> jimmy: yeah, biting your nail. >> no, dear, i was biting my finger. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh really? >> yeah. i couldn't feel it for a while. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no way. that's a good trick. >> yeah. my eyes would automatically cross. [ laughter ] he would come up with like -- i'd be walking across stage because i had this big behind in that skirt. >> jimmy: yeah. >> at one point he said, "stop, where are you going? you know, from the waist down, you look like italy." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he came on the show. he had a -- tim conway has a a book, too, called "what's so funny?" >> yeah. >> jimmy: there's probably some amazon deal if you get both books, i'm assuming. [ laughter ] you go together. it's great, and he was saying

how he would go out of his way to make you guys laugh. >> oh yes. >> jimmy: just to have a good time. >> he was merciless. he was merciless. >> jimmy: he would just do it. and then i watch these clips -- you can watch them on youtube right now or get the dvds of "the carol burnett show." but the wardrobe -- i know our wardrobe department here is like, in awe of all the great -- >> bob mackie. >> jimmy: bob mackie designed all these -- outfits and dresses. >> well, he designed upwards of 60 to 70 costumes a week. >> jimmy: that's insane. >> everything any of us ever wore, not just what i wore. but the funny outfits, and all the -- but i remember when i wore -- well, he did the "gone with the wind." >> jimmy: the "gone with the wind" sketch is amazing. you come down as scarlett o'hara who's made a a dress out of curtains, except you'd forgotten to take the curtain rod out of the outfit. [ laughter and applause ] it's so funny, it's perfect. where are those costumes now? >> i don't know. well i know that "gone with the wind's" in the smithsonian. >> jimmy: i saw that in the smithsonian. >> but all the rest of them, i don't know if bob mackie has

some big closet in the sky or what, but you know. but he was a -- he's a genius. >> jimmy: i think that they should do one of those traveling things like vogue does all canadian -- >> well, there was nobody like bob. >> jimmy: there's nobody like bob. there's nobody like you, so you deserved each other. [ cheers and applause ] absolutely. and now you're back in new york. you're back on broadway. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and this is "love letters." you and brian dennehy. but it's switching out the cast. so there's a bunch of different casts. >> yes, each month there will be a different couple. and so after brian and i close in four weeks, candice bergen and alan alda are going to do it. >> jimmy: that's so fun. >> i mean, they're going to have a revolving group every month. >> jimmy: i can't wait to see this. >> it's terrific. >> jimmy: and i'm not going to tell you when i'm coming. >> please don't. please don't. [ laughter ] i'd be so nervous. >> jimmy: i'll just be waving the whole time. >> yeah. [ laughter ] yeah, and i'll go, "hi, jimmy." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. that's all i wanted. that's all i wanted was a

a little ear tug! more with carol burnett when we get back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we've heard that over 4 hundred million vacation days go unused every year. that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard. they're paid vacation days. if you guys agreed to travel more we'll all do better in school. we'll have a better understanding of other cultures. i will learn to parler français. oui oui. we're not asking for much we just want one more day. "one more day" for help planning your one more day, contact mastercard concierge services or download our new app. because one more day is priceless. when laquinta.com sends him a ready for you alert the second his room is ready, ya know what salesman alan ames becomes? i think the numbers speak for themselves. i'm sold! a "selling machine!" ready for you alert, only at lq.com.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. i'm back here with carol burnett! on broadway. "love letters" on broadway. carol, you've had such an amazing career. movies, stage, tv shows. actually, do you remember we did a tv show together? do you remember this? >> oh, yes. i remember. it was called "tensions." >> jimmy: that's right, "tensions." >> "tensions." >> jimmy: "tensions." it was a soap opera. >> yes. >> jimmy: from the '90s. >> right. >> jimmy: we played a husband and wife. i played maxwell and you were petra vanderbilt. >> yes, i was a cougar. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was ahead of its time. it was ahead of its time. the show got canceled, sadly after only three episodes. >> i know. you know, if i recall, the producers wanted to have every

single moment as tense as possible to make it exciting for the viewers. tense, you know. tense. >> jimmy: yeah, i think you're right. it was too tense for no reason. >> yeah, but i think maybe they went too far, don't you? >> jimmy: yeah, i mean, they really did go too far. we actually have a clip. >> really? >> jimmy: yes. can we show a clip from the first episode of the early '90s soap opera "tensions" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: this is good coffee. >> is it? >> jimmy: maybe. did you put milk in it? >> no.

half and half. ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: fine. [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: air conditioning was strong. now, looking back on it -- [ laughter ] after watching that clip, it didn't seem too tense. >> well, if i recall, it got more tense. >> jimmy: it did. >> yes. >> jimmy: what's that? we have another clip? >> we do? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: this one is from episode two of "tensions." take a look. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: coffee, darling? >> no, no not any more. i switched to double foam latte. by the way, what time is it, darling? >> jimmy: why do you need to know, petra? [ laughter ] >> because i'm curious to know what time it is, maxwell. >> jimmy: if you must know,

it's 3:24. >> are you sure? i mean, two minutes ago it was 3:22. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's how time works, petra. [ laughter ] >> are you sure? >> jimmy: i don't know. ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: that's right. [ laughter ] i remember that scene. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i remember that scene. i remember that scene because the foam didn't come out of the cup.

>> it didn't come out of the cup. >> jimmy: no, no, it did not come out of the cup. you could feel, really feel the tension. >> yeah, it was almost unbearable. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] what's that? we found another clip. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: yeah, we've got one more clip. let's take a look at the third and final episode of "tensions," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ laughter ] >> and just where do you think you're going? >> jimmy: i'm taking remington for a walk. >> who's remington? >> jimmy: our dog. >> why are you walking him? >> jimmy: because. >> because why?

>> jimmy: because he's a dog. [ laughter ] >> where are you walking him? >> jimmy: around the block. >> which block? >> jimmy: this block. >> whose block? >> jimmy: our block. >> when? >> jimmy: now. >> really? [ laughter ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: sit. sit. good boy. good dog. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm leaving. good-bye. ♪ [ laughter ] ♪

>> jimmy: don't you ever -- that's right. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: well -- [ cheers and applause ] well -- [ laughter ] >> can i keep the wardrobe? >> jimmy: yes. they don't make them like that any more. they really don't. [ cheers and applause ] carol burnett, everybody! go see her on broadway in "love letters." at the brooks atkinson theatre from october 11th to november 8th.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that sounds great. you guys, he has 25 restaurants

all around the world. he's a best-selling author. he just released his tenth cookbook "america: farm to table." everyone, please welcome mario batali. [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about right now. nice to see you birthday boy. >> nice to see you birthday boy. >> jimmy: we share the same birthday, september 19th. yes we do. we always celebrate and party down together. we had a good one this year. >> we did have a great time. as a matter of fact, i brought something in homage. >> jimmy: oh, an homage. >> an homage. >> jimmy: how french of you. >> we were in jamaica, so french. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a lot of french people there. what are we making, a little cocktail? >> we're actually -- today's almost a spanish theme. so we're making gazpacho and we're also making shrimp stew and we have a tortilla espanola but starting with a little bit of sangria. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you like sangria, don't you? [ cheers ] >> jimmy: we love sangria, yeah. >> so i have red wine and i have grape fruit juice and some fruit in there -- >> jimmy: oh my gosh. >> we add a little bit of rum. >> jimmy: a little bit? oh my good lord. [ laughter ] >> and then we stir it around like that. >> jimmy: a little, chris blackwell rum. >> and then we're gonna take some cubes that i've made out

of watermelon to be the ice cube in the dish. >> jimmy: see that's why you're a genius! [ applause ] that's why you're mario batali and i am whoever i am. >> you're remington, the dog. >> jimmy: remington the dog, the puppy is getting his own sitcom after that. >> by the why, carol burnett and you are golden comedy. >> jimmy: no, come on, i can't believe -- [ cheers and applause ] carol burnett, what can you say? quest, this is for you. >> all right, so now what we have going on here. >> jimmy: yeah. >> is a taste of -- >> jimmy: taste of jamaica and -- >> jamaica and spanish all at once. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. oh, ha, that's really what i'm talking about. okay. [ laughter ] so that's chris blackwell's rum floating on the back who is our host that weekend -- >> goldeneye, shout out to that place, so cool. >> all right. >> jimmy: all right -- all your cookbooks are amazing. they're all great. and all different -- i love it so much. >> questlove: i was getting ready to cook. >> jimmy: i thought you were gonna stab me. [ laughter ] oh my gosh. but they range in all sorts of -- you can be easy, you can be -- yeah, you

can be novice, you can be an expert chef. you can be anything and still enjoy the cookbook. check it out. it's really good. >> so we're going to make some gazpacho. >> jimmy: let's do it. >> are you ready to chop? >> jimmy: yeah, let's do it. >> that's your station. that's your station. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> gazpacho is a cold tomato and cucumber soup. >> jimmy: nothing like that -- >> chop up peppers -- >> jimmy: fall, i put on some scarves, mittens, i sit by the fire and i whip up a nice cold gazpacho. [ laughter ] now what are we doing? just chop it up? >> you're going to cut up some tomatoes, you're gonna cut up some peppers. of course, you do, you're a a contrarian, you've been hanging out with carol burnett all day. makes all the sense in the world. what else you got? >> jimmy: i got -- yellow peps. >> tomato -- >> jimmy: yep. >> a little garlic? >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> a little water. >> jimmy: that's just water? >> plain water? >> jimmy: how can you do this? if i do this it's not going to taste good. >> sherry vinegar. it will taste good. >> jimmy: no, it's going taste like a weird milk shake. >> no, no, no, no, no. [ laughter ] this is gonna be a smoothie. now i understand you're getting into gardening.

>> jimmy: i actually am. i'm thinking about getting into gardening. >> first of all, we put on our safety goggles. >> jimmy: oh yeah, thanks dude. [ laughter ] >> cause you never know, when working with the heavy equipment, how bad it can get. >> jimmy: there you go. or not. >> there we go. >> jimmy: no, i'm just kidding. all right very nice. you whip that up. i'm getting into gardening. is that where you start it? does that turn it on? you can't even hear me. >> hold on. and that's why i'm going to put that in my garden. oh. and a little more. >> so now it's blended. [ laughter ] so what do you put in the garden? >> jimmy: no, i'm going to do -- i'm gonna do raspberries. >> that's gardening? [ laughter ] glad there's no vegetables in a a raspberry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm not, but it's something. it's planting something. >> yes, it is. planting is a good thing. and anybody can get into the dirt in anyway around their house is a good thing. just some people plant vegetables, too. the nice thing about raspberries you can make them into cocktails. you don't have to waist time. >> jimmy: well i'm irish, trust me whatever is here i'll make into a cocktail. that's the way it's going to work. [ laughter ] so this -- look at this,

gazpacho right here. >> so now what you do is you allow people to personalize. you take that. >> jimmy: questlove. >> and you take that, jimmy. and then i combine to you with these condiment platter and you personalize your soup by putting the things in it you want. >> jimmy: see -- >> so you can use the spoon or go like this or you can go like that and there you have it, a a simple delicious recipe from this magnificently easy cookbook on the market today. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about you guys. [ cheers and applause ] mario batali "america: farm to table" is in stores now. we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show." can we get some rum in this guy? [ cheers and applause ] ♪

over the past four years pennsylvania has gone from 9th to 47th in job creation. and now, news about our economy is getting even worse. "pennsylvania's jobless rate is up for the second straight month as employment fell and unemployment rose." "bond rating agency has cut pennsylvania's rating to double a minus because of recurring budget deficits." "the state government is out of cash and is scrambling to make sure school districts and state employees can even be paid." ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to jeremy renner, carol burnett, mario batali. joe perry right there, oh, my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots from philadelphia. that's you, you're the roots. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow, everybody. thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, james spader actress rachel dratch music from la roux featuring the 8g band.