tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC October 16, 2014 11:34pm-12:37am EDT
and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 147. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's an audience right there! you can hear it. [ cheers and applause ] man, oh, man. thank you. welcome, everybody! welcome to "the tonight show." thank you for being here. hey! [ cheers and applause ] we got a great show tonight. thank you so much. well, here's what people are talking about. some news out of washington. the pentagon just announced that its fight against isis
will be called "operation inherent resolve." yeah. [ light laughter ] they came up with the name using "operation random thesaurus." [ laughter and applause ] "operation inherent resolve" is the name for its fight against isis. unfortunate two terrorists got away while they were think busy thinking of that name. [ laughter ] call it whatever, do something about this. "operation inherent resolve." of course, some people have said that given how dangerous the mission is, the name doesn't sound as intimidating as it should, but we were actually able to get our hands on a couple of other names that they were -- in the running. >> steve: really? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't think they were that much better. take a look. there was "operation forceful talking to." >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not -- you know what i mean. then there was "operation cold shoulder." just give 'em the cold -- [ laughter ] just ignore them. just ignore them. you know? >> steve: yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: and then finally, we have "operation we can't even." >> steve: oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and finally, "operation isis isis, baby." that one at least -- [ cheers and applause ]
and get this, a dutch -- wait, all right, stop. no, seriously, stop. [ laughter ] get this, a dutch motorcycle gang called "no surrender" has declared war on isis and they plan to ride motorcycles through syria and iraq. when they heard the name "no surrender" the pentagon was like, "damn that would have been the perfect name wouldn't it?" [ laughter and applause ] "no surrender" is cool, it's edgy, it's -- [ laughter ] of course, this whole ebola scare still has everyone on edge. and yesterday, the cdc tried to calm people down by saying that you cannot get ebola by sitting next to someone on public transportation. but you could give it to someone. [ laughter ] >> steve: wait, what? what? >> jimmy: so, in simpler terms, don't worry, but you know, worry. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's like, what does that even mean? that you can't get it unless you get it from someone who gave it to you. okay, thank you. [ laughter and applause ] that makes no sense.
explain it better. i don't get it. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: i don't get it. >> jimmy: and i read that because of the ebola scare now hazmat suits have turned into popular halloween costumes. [ laughter ] and people walking around in hazmat suits were like, "yeah, halloween. [ laughter ] yeah, right, that's why i'm wearing this. trick or treat. don't touch me! [ laughter ] yeah, yeah, trick or treat." [ laughter ] and this is cool. netflix just announced that it will begin streaming all 236 episodes of "friends," starting next year. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ yeah! people can't wait 'cause it will be a nice break from seeing them 24 hours a day on tbs. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: in addition to "friends," netflix is also bringing back the popularity is show "care bears." [ audience oohs ] but i think all the excitement, netflix accidently mixed the two together. i don't know. take a look at this clip. >> my mom never thought this would work out. it was all "once a cheater, always a cheater." [ laughter ] >> we were on a break! [ laughter ] >> we are so over. >> fine by me!
[ friends theme ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you see what i'm saying? it was some sort of mixup, digital -- [ applause ] >> steve: that's a mashup. >> jimmy: here's a local story, you guys. an old new york city subway car from 1935 is up for auction on ebay. as opposed to that other way to have your own subway car, taking off your clothes and yelling at god. [ laughter and applause ] "let's go, honey, he's got some issues. let him yell. let him yell." check this out, guys. a group called clowns of america -- [ laughter ] clowns of america international. how does that make sense? [ laughter ] >> steve: clowns of america. >> jimmy: clowns of america -- >> both: international. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] clowns of america international, they're criticizing the fx show "american horror story", freak show" saying its portrayal of clowns feeds into the fear of clowns. [ laughter ] that's right. clowns of america international. even isis was like, "now that is a scary group.' i wouldn't mess with those guys. don't mess with clowns." [ laughter ]
here's some fun tech news this week, the first commercial web browser, netscape navigator, turned 20 years old. >> steve: oh, my gosh! that's crazy. i love netscape navigator. >> jimmy: you do, yeah. >> steve: remember when they used to call it the world wide web. >> jimmy: yeah. you remember the dialup log on sound? [ dial up sounds ] >> steve: oh, my gosh. remember flying toads screensaver? >> jimmy: flying toads. yeah, yeah. you remember altavista, lycos? >> steve: oh, my gosh! you remember when they had chat rooms and you'd go in there and pretend you were a lady so you could get guys to hit on you? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. >> steve: me neither. i don't remember thank either. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's enough reminiscing. that's enough. [ laughter and applause ] [ dial up sound ] oh, guys, i just saw this. vermont recently had its debate for governor. all right and i guess the way it works there is that everyone who is on the ballot is allowed to participate in the debate. and, well -- take a look at how that went. >> some of you are well-known to the people of our state.
many of you, i dare say, are not. [ laughter ] so, why don't we begin by telling us a little bit about yourselves. >> i am a revolutionary -- non-violent socialist. >> look out the window. that used to be all wheat fields and orange groves. >> i believe that i'm right candidate because it's time to get back to a working person with common sense and i'm both. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, people -- people in vermont were like, "uh, can we elect the guy running the debate for governor? he looks pretty good." [ laughter ] look at these -- all these candidates together. yeah. i'm pretty sure i've seen them somewhere before. yeah, they're all characters from "guess who." [ cheers and applause ] i knew it! i love that game. we have a great show, guys. give it up for the roots right there! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, it's been a a great week so far, everybody. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, academy award-nominated actor, bradley cooper, will be here. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] lovely man. >> jimmy: we love bradley cooper. >> steve: lovely man. >> jimmy: he's fun. bradley and i are going to go head-to-head in a game of egg russian roulette. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: plus, the legend, neil diamond will be here tomorrow night. >> steve: come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how fun is that? >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: and of course, "thank you notes." that's tomorrow. it's gonna be good. but first, tonight, we're so psyched to have this guy here. one of the biggest rock stars on the planet. i just -- gosh, we just love him. he has a new musical, it's called "the last ship." and so this is gonna be great. actually, if you're somewhere not in new york and you want to see broadway, you can see tonight, 'cause they are gonna be performing a song from "the last ship." sting is stopping by tonight, you guys. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: great cast. >> steve: love it. that's so fun. >> jimmy: yeah.
neil simon theater. go to broadway.com to get tickets. come to new york. come see this thing but you get a preview of it tonight. they're amazing. they're so talleded. plus we love when he drops in. this guy is a great guy, great actor, super funny. his new movie "listen up, phillip" jason schwartzman is joining us. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] he's always clever and -- >> steve: always fun. >> jimmy: and then we'll round it out with a performance from the cast of "the last ship" right there tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's gonna be good. so good. i'm really excited about this. it's time for tonight show "hash tags," you guys. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hashtags hashtags ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you guys are on twitter, right? [ cheers and applause ] oh, it's fun but we use twitter on our show every single week, so if you watch our show and want to play along with do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag. we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic and so, since it's halloween right around the corner, i went on twitter and i started a hashtag
called "halloween fail." and i asked you guys to tweet us something funny, weird or embarrassing that happened to you on halloween. we got thousands of tweets. within 20 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u.s. so, thank you for those tweets. [ cheers and applause ] now, i thought i would share some of my favorite halloween fail tweets from you guys. here we go. this first one's from @cahos. he says, "i once got arrested on halloween dressed up as nick nolte's mugshot. so in my mugshot, i'm dressed up as nick nolte's mugshot." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: fail or win? >> jimmy: that's kind of cool, yeah. >> steve: that sounds like a a win. >> jimmy: this from within @zaldois he says, "dressed up as a blue m & m a couple years ago. when i was handing out candy, a a old guy asked if i was a a viagra." [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: this one from @lovemoji. he says, "i dressed as a mummy on a rainy halloween night. by the end, i looked like a a clogged toilet." that was -- >> steve: oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: -- not the costume i was going for. >> steve: especially if some
snickers got in there or something like that. >> jimmy: yeah. [ audience groans ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from @queenswift13. she says, "i dressed up in '80s clothes and woman asked me what i was? i said, 'i'm from the '80s.' she said, 'me, too' and looked sad. [ laughter ] this one's from @noodlez56. she says, "one year, i didn't know what i was going to be so i wore a shirt that said 'life' and i handed out lemons to people." [ laughter ] >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: that's actually pretty clever. that's good costume. >> steve: that's a win. >> jimmy: that's a win, yeah. this one's from @muchviv. she says, "my dad made me a a potato chip bag costume and wrote '100% fat' on it." [ audience awws ] [ laughter ] thanks. thank you, dad. 75% nerd. [ crying ] [ laughter ] >> steve: i'm from the '80s! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: last one's from @jigomo. she says, "one year, my husband shaved his eyebrows to be dr. evil. then he realized dr. evil has
eyebrows." [ laughter and applause ] oh, man. that's our "tonight show" hashtags. to check out more of our favorites, go to tonight show.com/hashtags. stick around, we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show." sting! sting is here! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey, guys. just want to take a minute to tell you about the folgers flavors. they're a portable, super easy way to customize your coffee. you just drop in the flavor -- [ dripping sound ] [ laughter ] give it a mix -- [ clanking sound ] and take a sip. [ slurping sound ] ahh! wait. hold on a second. [ laughter ] [ mixing sounds ] ♪ ♪
[ applause ] [ turns into dubstep ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: folgers flavor! remix your coffee to a tasty new beat! we will be right back with more of "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you're unpacking already? yeah. help me find some mugs? sure. ♪ [ beep ] hey. okay. -these'll do. -yeah. [ male announcer ] wake up to the mountain grown aroma of folgers. ♪ the best part of wakin' up so, where do you want to start? i think this is a pretty good place. ♪ is folgers in your cup our most stretchable sheer bandage ever. bandages. they're 50% more stretchable, so they fit snug to protect even tough spots from dirt and germs.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by a rock and roll hall of famer who's won an emmy, a a golden globe, 16 grammys. and will soon up for a bunch of tony awards for his new broadway musical, "the last ship" right here. it opens sunday, october 26th at the neil simon theater right here in new york city. put it together for one of the best songwriters/performers ever, a bonafide rock star, sting! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
>> jimmy: sting in the house! that's what i'm talking about. that's how you make an entrance. sting, thank you for -- -- for finally being on the show officially. >> well, i've done the warmup twice. i've done all of that work, so thankfully, i'm here. at last. >> jimmy: we're psyched to have you here. i want to talk about this play, this is big, this is exciting. takes a long time to make a a play, doesn't it? >> this took five years of extraordinary hard work and intense pleasure. >> jimmy: yeah, just fell down. shouldn't say -- [ laughter ] five years, sorry about that. no, it's five years. that's -- i mean, that's -- >> i think it's the most difficult thing i have ever tackled. >> jimmy: really? >> you know, telling a story with songs and telling a kind of complex story, but it's a a story about my community. i was brought up in a shipyard town in the north of england, and this is a joyous celebration of that community. they built the biggest ships in the world. >> jimmy: i think this is
actually your street. >> that's the street i was brought up in. that isn't the collage, that's an actual ship at the end of my street. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh, that totally ruined the view. i mean you had a great view and then you -- [ laughter ] this giant ship gets built. >> the sun didn't shine. >> jimmy: yeah, i mean, but look at this. this is insane if you can see this. and people just all come out and gather around, is this a a launching? >> i saw many launches as a a child. and there's something apocalyptic about something the size of a street moving into the water. >> jimmy: that's unbelievable. it's crazy. and did your -- did your family and friends all work -- >> my grandfather worked in the shipyard, and all of with his brothers. i did everything i could to escape it. i didn't want to work there. >> jimmy: you didn't know, yeah. >> i wanted to be a rock star. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, no. no. [ cheers and applause ] not gonna work out for you. you don't make money doing that. you got to make ships. i dropped this one. this is gigantic. were they warships or cruise ships? >> they built war ships. they built super tankers. they built cruise liners. >> jimmy: oh my gosh. and you would just see it get
built and then launched. >> and they'd launch it. >> jimmy: how sad, kind of. >> it was a bit sad. >> jimmy: like you get used to your house, and the house just leaves. [ laughter ] you kinda miss that thing, yeah. >> so i left. then i left. >> jimmy: you left along with the ship. yeah. and also, where you grew up was also very close to newcastle, is that right? >> it's the next town along. >> jimmy: so you have some good beer over there. >> very good beer. newcastle brown ale. >> jimmy: little brown ale, that's pretty fantastic. now, this is -- look at the guys working on this thing with you here. joe mantell, he directed "wicked." >> he did. >> jimmy: you have the choreographer -- >> steven hoggett, who did -- >> jimmy: "once." >> he did "once," yes. >> jimmy: i mean, come on. >> and black watch. >> jimmy: you got real deal people to do this thing and i'm psyched that people get to see you tonight, because -- this goes for all across the country and just see how hard and how talented these people are, and how hard they work at this. >> i have an amazing cast. they are so great. i love them. >> jimmy: and you've been going to previews and all this stuff and checking it out. >> i have seen every rehearsal.
i've been to every preview, every performance. i love it. >> jimmy: so did anyone ever tell -- 'cause you're sting, i don't know if you know this. [ laughter ] i would say that i couldn't -- i couldn't give you notes. i couldn't tell you -- i couldn't say no to you. >> well, i'd bring a song in, and the director and the book writer would go, "good. try again." >> jimmy: really? >> totally not -- >> jimmy: try again, to sting? no, he doesn't try again. you try again. think of a different answer. >> so i went back home and i, you know, it was good for me. but i felt in safe hands that they were confident enough to tell me that i had to do better. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so, it was five years of that. >> jimmy: gosh, did you like musicals growing up? >> yeah i did. i never saw a musical, 'cause we didn't have a theater nearby. but my mother had all the rogers and hammerstein records, "south pacific," "carousel," "oklahoma." [ singing in unison ] ♪ >> jimmy: oh, it's a fantastic jam, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] they also had a good song in
there, like -- ♪ this is a really nice clam bake ♪ it's great title. >> that wasn't my favorite. >> jimmy: no, no, no, it wasn't my favorite. it was the title, "a really nice clam bake." it's like, couldn't you call it like, "a good time" or something. "a really nice clam bake." so i saw rehearsal today, what these guys and girls are doing tonight. and man, oh, man, it's phenomenal. when you see it you go, these are the most talented people. dancing and choreography and singing. who's the lead actress? >> she's called rachel tucker. she's from belfast in northern ireland and she is going to sing a song called "if you ever see me talking to a sailor." >> jimmy: "if you ever see me talking to a sailor." yeah. >> slap me. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah. slap me, yeah. just stop me right there if you ever see me talking to a a sailor. but you see -- well, you'll see exactly what happens later on. more with sting after the break, everybody. stick around. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ the lightest or nothing.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey guys, welcome back. we are here talking with sting, the one and only. his new broadway musical "the last ship" opens sunday, october 26th, at the neil simon theater right here in new york city. now, i want to try something fun with you, if you don't mind. everyone knows the classic cell phone ringtones but i thought it would be kind of cool if we hear you sing your version of them and call them stingtones. [ laughter ] >> okay. >> jimmy: yeah, you'll do it? okay. good. great. here's how it works. it's going to be fun. here, i'll give you this microphone right there. now, we're -- that was when i
was in abba. >> oh, my god. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was in -- yeah. now, here's how it works, we will play a popular ringtone and then you will sing it back to us in your own sting way. >> okay. >> jimmy: let's hear the first one. this is a default ringtone that plays on iphones, it's called marimba. [ tone plays ] ♪ ♪ okay. now let's hear the sting tone. [ scatting ] ♪ >> jimmy: oh i love that. that's fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] that was awesome. i like that one. here's another one here. this is very popular one. this is called xylophone ringtone. >> scary. [ tone plays ] ♪ ♪ [ scatting ] ♪ >> jimmy: fantastic. isn't he great? actually sounds like a police song. [ laughter ]
probably -- >> my lawyers will be on -- it's "synchronicity." >> jimmy: totally on "synchronicity" by the way [ laughter ] >> i could make a fortune. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: make all your money on stingtones. that's the best. >> i'll give you a cut, don't worry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's do one more. this might you might recognize, classic old-school nokia ring tone. [ tone plays ] ♪ ♪ >> this is hard. >> jimmy: yeah, this is a tough one. ♪ just give me a second. [ scatting ] ♪ >> jimmy: you got it you did it that's the one. [ cheers and applause ] if that was my ringtone, i would never pick up the phone, i just want to hear that and let it go to my voicemail. hey, speaking of voicemail, we are going to do one more fun thing, we are going to take a a random person out of the audience and you are going to personally record their outgoing voicemail message.
[ cheers ] >> is that right? >> jimmy: okay. let's do this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: all right. now, earlier tonight, you were each given a ticket with a a number on it. if i pull your number, i want you to come down here and sting is going to sing your outgoing message onto your cell phone. this is very exciting. all right. here we go. drumroll, please. [ drumroll ] [ applause ] seat number 146! hey, come on down, buddy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ come on, buddy. how you doing, man? this is sting. what is your name? >> sandor. >> jimmy: sa -- >> sandor. s-a-n-d-o-r. >> jimmy: sandor, yeah. where are you from? >> i'm from hungary. >> jimmy: hungary. oh, welcome to the show. this is fantastic.
[ laughter ] do you have your cell phone with you? >> yep. >> jimmy: all right. good. let's see it. >> sorry it's not -- >> jimmy: to no, that's good. no, no. what happened, did you drop it? >> yeah, i dropped it. once or twice. >> jimmy: which one is it? once or twice? >> three times. >> jimmy: three times, yeah. [ laughter and applause ] yeah, let me do it. i'm gonna take it oh, what's your password? [ laughter and applause ] i almost got him to do it. ready okay, here we go. phone. thank you, sting. [ laughter ] what if your i.t. guy were sting. how cool would that be? greeting and then gonna go to custom. i will give you this. you have the microphone there and i'm gonna record on the count of three, sting will do your outgoing message. okay? very good. ready? one, two, three. ♪
♪ sorry i'm away looks like you missed me, oh you just leave your ♪ ♪ name when you hear the beep-o i hope that you will leave a ♪ ♪ i hope that you will leave a message on my voicemail yeah ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ a message on my voicemail yeah yeah ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: stop. save. it's saved. it's done. there ya go buddy. sting, right there! [ cheers and applause ] there you go pal, congratulations. how awesome is that? [ cheers and applause ] my thanks to the one and only sting! go see his broadway show. stick around, we will be right back with jason schwartzman! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪this is the new iphone 6.
and this is the new iphone 6 plus. they're the biggest iphones ever made. they're huge. yeah, but their size is just the beginning. even though they're huge. sure, sure. but they could change the way you see the world. oh, that is so huge. they could improve your health. huge! they're the biggest, most powerful iphones ever made. huuuuuuuggggeee! huuuuuuuggggeee! stop it, please. huuuuuuuggggeee! stop it... thank you. ♪ huge.♪
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>> jimmy: our next guest is a a funny and talented actor who stars in a new movie called "listen up, phillip," which opens in select theaters tomorrow. and is available on demand and itunes october 21st. please welcome jason schwartzman! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about right there. jason schwartzman. [ cheers and applause ] welcome back my friend. >> thank you for having me back. >> jimmy: nice to see you. oh please, we're so psyched. you're here on a big night. we have sting, we have "the last ship." i mean -- >> this is a big one for me. >> jimmy: this is a big one, yeah. >> and it's big for me sting is here. i have -- i have a little bit of history with the man. >> jimmy: do you? >> and when i found out he was here, i was excited and
nervous. >> jimmy: you were? >> because, um -- well, basically, years ago, i was in a restaurant/bar restaurant, type. dark, i was with friends. you would one of my friends, we'd be close. this would be a friend, that would be a friend. >> jimmy: okay. >> we were talking like this. i'm looking around and i look up and across the room, sitting in a booth with some people was sting. [ laughter ] and his arms were like -- >> jimmy: like this? >> he sits like >> jimmy: levitating over the table? >> there are people here. yeah. yeah. it wasn't just like that yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know, you said -- >> you never know. >> jimmy: you never know. sting could easily be floating over a table like "this is how i sit." >> i would easily believe it. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. so that's sting. >> so, sting is over there and he was -- >> jimmy: yeah. absolutely. >> looking, i think, at me. you know, i don't have great eyes, especially in the night. so i wasn't sure, maybe that is -- so i asked my friend, i said "just look up and the next second so tell me, that is sting."
and he looked up, it's sting and oddly enough, he is looking over here. and he has maybe like a grin on his face. so i was like, hmm, weird. well, maybe he just thinks he knows the people we're with. so we keep talking, look up now, and tell me if sting is looking. yep, he is still looking over here. and actually, wait a second. he is -- he is somehow got out of that booth, i don't know how he got out. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he floated. he levitated out. >> he probably floated up over and landed. >> jimmy: up and over, yeah. >> he has got a good core. he can do that. >> jimmy: of course he can do that. >> people think that's magic, but that's actually a strength. >> jimmy: that's just a pure strength. >> you can do it for about ten seconds. you can -- >> jimmy: oh yeah, only sting and houdini are only two humans on record. >> on record. yeah. so, sting levitated out of the thing. and -- [ laughter ] the next thing i know, he walked over to us, and i kind of rose, but i was blocked, because it was an odd table, restaurant/bar, it's not officially a bar -- it was a a weird thing. so i was like this. >> jimmy: a very dark place? >> very dark. and i was like this and he came
over around he said, "hello, i'm sting." [ laughter ] it's nice to meet you, i'm a a big fan of your work. >> jimmy: wow. >> and it meant so much to me. it was incredible. and he said i just want to say that. please enjoy your night, have a a wonderful evening, i'm gonna return to my group of people. good-bye, jason. and he floated away. [ laughter ] and i will say -- and it was -- it was -- the sweetness of the situation was overtaken by my own sense of, i can't believe, like, sting came over here. that's not how that's supposed to work. i mean, you -- you -- you -- you go to sting. >> jimmy: you go to sting. yeah, yeah. >> yeah, yeah. sting doesn't come to you. >> jimmy: you must go to sting. >> you go to sting. >> jimmy: exactly. >> jimmy: do people come up to you all the time, like. hey, oh, my gosh, i love your stuff? >> well, you know, sometimes. not as much as i'm sure sting probably. but he probably goes up to most people and says i'm a big fan of yours.
i don't know what you do, but i am sting. [ laughter ] but in my life -- sometimes it happens, sometimes unexpectedly, like -- but it's always got a little -- i was jogging, this is years ago, clearly, and i had decided i'm going go jogging. i'm gonna start get, in shape. to quote albert brooks, i'm gonna start a new life and i'd like running it to be a major part of it. >> jimmy: was this recently? >> this was a few years ago, and i was jogging, and i was going back to my apartment, and this man came out of, like, behind a tree or something. and he was holding some paraphernalia. he seemed sweet. aggressive but sweet. [ laughter ] and he came up to me and said, it's good he see you, man. how are you? i was like, i'm good. he said i'm a big fan. i -- are you still making music? yeah, you know, i try to make music every day, you know. well, i don't want to take up too much of your time, but yeah, i don't see you running the old neighborhood. and i thought, running the old neighborhood? that's -- hmm. well, yeah, i don't run as much as i -- i try to going along with it. trying to not to make him feel bad, he knew where i lived. you don't want to upset someone
if they know where you live. >> jimmy: yeah. that's a good lesson. >> so basically he was like, would you mind signing some stuff? i said not a problem. and he handed me all this stuff, this paraphernalia and i realized it was all red hot chili peppers stuff. it was -- [ laughter ] blood sex sugar magic poster, californication vinyl, limited edition vinyl. and it had everybody's signature in the band. every guitar player that's ever been in the chili peppers has signed this stuff. i got flea, i got chad, i just don't have you, anthony. and i basically, no offense, but like i was so deep into this conversation with the man, it would be embarrassing to the both of us if i said i'm not anthony kiedis. so, to make him feel okay, i became anthony kiedis. >> jimmy: no! no! ♪ >> i did. i said i don't know what happened to him, but i was like, if you got a pen, i can sign it and i -- [ laughter ] and he was like, thank you so much anthony. i was like, it's -- let me just -- let me just sign it up. and he is like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: talking like
anthony kiedis. >> and how's flea? he is pretty good, just playing the bass and just writing a new record all over the place. >> jimmy: rhyming words. >> ten minutes, i signed all that stuff, and as a friend later told me, he probably sold this stuff, so there are some kiedis. and i signed it as anthony kiedis, and i had to do it as anthony, which is a a different -- i didn't even know how to spell the last name exactly. i wasn't sure with the i. >> jimmy: the i-e. but either way, close enough. >> i comes before e except in kiedis. >> jimmy: except in kiedis. exactly. >> but it was a real -- it was a fun day. so i do get approached sometimes, but it's not generally for who i am. [ laughter ] it's funny that i will be mistaken for anthony kiedis because, a, i was wearing a a shirt. [ laughter ] and -- because anthony kiedis and me, like, the only time i take off my shirt is to get in the shower, that's probably the only time he wears a shirt. that guy has his shirt off all the time. >> jimmy: no, yeah. and he can. he's in unbelievable shape. yeah. >> i guess he is. >> jimmy: but the good -- >> it is good to be mistaken for him with the body.
>> jimmy: it's fantastic being mistaken for anthony kiedis. >> you ever met him? >> jimmy: yeah, i met anthony kiedis once. it was at a club or something like that. we were sitting, me and my friends are sitting here, you're anthony kiedis. a friend was here. [ laughter ] it was a very dark place. dark bar, restaurant/bar. [ applause ] i don't want to get into it. i don't want to get into it. he levitated out of his booth. [ laughter ] i don't want to get into it. >> he was like, i'm a big fan. >> jimmy: i'm big a fan. i don't want to get into it. yeah. but i want to talk about your film here, "listen up, phillip." >> yes. >> jimmy: gosh, i loved it. i want people to see this movie and i want them to know that this is not the real -- you're acting, you're an actor. because you're so convincing and funny. and he is a real, like, mean guy but he is sharp and he is so funny and just know that's not you. >> no. >> jimmy: you're a very nice guy. and that's what actors do. >> well, i appreciate you saying that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yes. i mean, i -- this is -- i play an ass [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah.
>> he's a young writer, he's successful and he basically mishandles every situation in his life. but i'm saying this guy is so extremely relentless with how negative he can be that it's quite funny, i think. basically, he ejects himself from his life. he gets invited to go to his mentor's house, played by jonathan price, who is also a a writer. and he is typically a mentor. teaches a younger guy all the good things, but this guy's miserable. and the two of us have a a miserable relationship together and we love each other. and i'm mean to my girlfriend, i'm mean to him, i'm mean to myself and it's a really funny movie. it's -- feel-bad movie of the year. >> jimmy: the feel-bad movie of the year. >> i really do see it. it's good. >> jimmy: it's well shot. i have rarely seen a film like that. who directed it? >> alex ross perry directed it, sean price williams shot it and we made it here in new york for a few weeks last year. i'm really proud of it because, it's -- yeah i think you'll really enjoy it. >> jimmy: i want to show -- >> playing here, just opens tomorrow. >> jimmy: i want to show a a scene here.
you do a scene, you're in a a diner. going to meet this girl and you just all of a sudden, you're just getting in a bad mood. you were going in thinking it's going to be great. >> this is -- i have my new book coming out so i go to meet my ex-girlfriend to give her a a signed copy of it. but because she's late this character, he is disappointed easily, and if you disappoint him, it's over. >> jimmy: you got to see this. it's really, really good. here is jason schwartzman in "listen up, phillip." >> this is crazy that you're late, sweetie. >> please stop talking. 25 minutes i'm waiting, almost 30, it's an insult. also, i have a really busy day, so now i have less than an hour. probably not enough time to eat anything. >> maybe a grilled cheese for me. >> i had it the other day, it's disgusting. so i should ask you how you are, right? things are good? >> things are good with me. ellie and i just finally found a new roommate. >> oh, what's her ass moved? >> she got married six years ago. >> figures. >> is that the new book? >> yeah. wasn't sure you had noticed or heard. i'm just getting ready. things are gonna be pretty crazy for me after the release. in fact, this might be the last time i'm home for than a week at a time for the next eight or possibly nine months.
definitely, just busy. los angeles in january. san francisco, portland, the whole west coast thing really, i'm told to expect big things out there. >> you sound like you're bragging. >> that's because i am bragging. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: it's a great scene. "listen up, phillip" opens up in select theaters tomorrow and is available on demand and itunes october 21st. a performance from the cast of broadway's "the last ship" is next. come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ when change is in the air you see things in a whole new way.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. we have a little -- a little newcastle right here. tasting pretty good right there. sting just floated back over. [ laughter ] and sting wrote the music and lyrics to the new broadway musical from which our next performance is drawn. here to perform "if you ever see me talking to a sailor," please welcome rachel tucker and the cast of broadway's "the last ship." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ when the wind's from the eastern quarter and there's a pungent taste of salt upon the breeze ♪ ♪ and something's troubled your insides like a scum upon the tides ♪ ♪ or something washed up on the beach
down by the quays ♪ ♪ intuition's what a girl in love relies on i should have known he only wanted to be free ♪ ♪ i drew my line upon the sand only a fool would ever stand ♪ ♪ between a man and his involvement with the sea ♪ ♪ and when the tide rolls out you'll find your bed is empty and he's gone ♪ ♪ so if you ever see me talking to a sailor and a scurvy no good mongrel of a tar ♪ ♪ knock the drink out of my hand push me over where i stand ♪ ♪ take a slug at me but somewhere i won't scar pin my body to the ground ♪ ♪ and slap my face to bring me round
then you can roll my silly arse out of this bar ♪ ♪ for a sailor's not a man to be trusted he'll bill and coo call you his chick-a-dee ♪ ♪ but when he's had his way all you'll get is his good day then he'll blow a kiss and scuttle back to sea ♪ ♪ and when the tide rolls out you'll find your bed is empty and he's gone ♪ ♪ so if you ever see me talking to a sailor and i blithely stand there passing time o' day ♪ ♪ don't you hesitate to think someone's tampered with your drink ♪ ♪ and he's shaken out your handbag in the time it takes to blink ♪ ♪ and all the booze you've ever bought him he's just thrown up in the sink ♪ ♪ just call the funny farm and carry me away ♪ ♪ for a sailor's not a man to be trusted he's treacherous as tides and hidden reefs ♪ ♪ just to get you up the stairs he'll quote the bible
in his prayers ♪ ♪ and before you know he's bound for tenerife and when the tide rolls out ♪ ♪ you'll find your house is empty and he's gone and when the tide rolls out ♪ ♪ you'll find your heart is empty and he's gone and when you become a woman of a certain age ♪ ♪ you'll find it's difficult to trust a man it's difficult to gauge ♪ ♪ when the bilge rat who left you without a living wage ♪ ♪ thinks there's still that tawdry glamour of the sea that i swear to god's completely lost on me ♪ ♪ so if you ever see me talking to a sailor
some mangy sea dog skulking on the quay ♪ ♪ just remind me what i've said or you can shoot me in the head ♪ ♪ and then throw my bleeding body in the sea you'll find your bed is empty and he's gone ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on! come on! hey, thank you. "the last ship" right there. oh, my goodness! see the show at the neil simon theater on broadway right here in new york. and visit thelastship.com for tickets.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to sting, jason schwartzman, the cast of broadway's "the last ship" -- [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there, ladies and gentlemen, from philadelphia. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow, everybody. thank you, again. ♪