tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC December 3, 2014 11:34pm-12:37am EST
and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 150! ♪ >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! hot crowd, baby! hot crowd tonight! [ cheers and applause ] oh, looking good. looking good. welcome, everyone. to the "tonight show." you're here. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here. i appreciate it. it's going to be a good show. guys, here's what people are talking about. i saw that president obama and michelle obama went to a
a parent/teacher conference at their daughters' school this week. the teachers say their daughters are doing well, with a few billion more in education funding, they could be doing great. [ cheers and applause ] wink wink. some political news, during a a campaign event yesterday, former presidential nominee, bob dole, told the crowd mitt romney should run for president in 2016. [ laughter ] if there's anyone who knows that third time is a charm, it's the guy who lost three times. yeah, he's the guy they used to go to -- [ cheers and applause ] i saw chris christie has not tweeted about anything except ebola since last thursday. [ laughter ] the only thing he's tweeting about. >> steve: nothing else but ebola. >> jimmy: no, just about ebola. yeah, that's all he tweets about is ebola. >> steve: all ebola, all the time. >> jimmy: he's got people in new jersey so scared, now they actually want him to close the george washington bridge. it's like -- "don't let anyone in or out." [ laughter and applause ] well, with recent news of new york's first case of ebola,
it's understandable that new yorkers are worried. but the truth is, it's very safe here in the city. here for more on the story is our tonight show health correspondent pat bareli. pat? >> yes, jimmy, that's true. people should not worry about ebola that much. new york has it under control. i mean, you have much more -- [ car screeches ] >> jimmy: oh! my gosh -- pat, pat! pat! oh, my gosh! pat! can you hear me? are you okay? >> sorry about that, jimmy. that van came out of nowhere. >> jimmy: yeah. >> anyways, as i was saying, new york city is really safe. [ clang ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, no! no! pat! >> steve: oh, my god! [ laughter ] pat, did -- pat, did you just get hit by an anvil, pat? [ laughter ] >> yes, jimmy. i was hit by an anvil. >> jimmy: okay. >> anyway, new york city is safe. you're going to be fine. you're not going to get ebola. [ crunch ] >> jimmy: oh, my -- >> steve: oh, my god! >> jimmy: oh, no. you hate to see this. you hate to see this. pat, maybe you should get out of the street. you don't look -- pat? [ snarling ] oh! stray dog.
>> steve: oh! >> jimmy: all right. well -- >> steve: oh, my gosh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we'll check in with pat later on the story. thank you, pat, for that. >> steve: man in the street. >> jimmy: stray dogs. you've got to watch out for those things. [ laughter ] but hey, we're not the only ones who are worried about this thing. in fact, north korea announced last week they're closing their borders -- [ light laughter ] to all tourists to prevent the potential spread of the ebola virus. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: that's right. when they heard that, people in north korea were like -- [ coughing ] [ laughter ] "i have to leave i think? it's your rules. take care, man. i gotta go. i think i have --" [ applause ] leave north korea? hey, listen to this, you guys. starbucks says it's coming out with a new chestnut praline latte next month. [ cheers ] that's right. chestnut praline latte. sounds less like a drink, more like a stripper giving her full name. [ laughter ] >> steve: can you state your name for the court? >> jimmy: yes, your honor. i am -- chestnut praline latte? [ laughter ]
praline was my grandmother's name. [ laughter ] [ new york accent ] we came here to see pumpkin latte, what is this? [ laughter ] speaking of pumpkins, i heard about a pumpkin patch in california. okay? it's home to the world's largest corn maze. it spans across 60 acres. >> steve: wow. [ audience oohs ] yeah, the world's largest corn maze. it's a great place to take the kids, drop them off, and start a new life. [ laughter and applause ] just, don't look back. local story here. taylor swift announced she would become new york city's new tourism ambassador. >> steve: wow. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: new yorkers said, "how could we let a woman who's not even from new york welcome people to the city?" and then the statue of liberty said -- [ french accent ] "i know, it's just crazy, right? can you believe it? oh, my goodness. welcome to --" [ laughter and applause ] that's right.
taylor swift will become new york city's tourism ambassador, and along with swift's new job, they're also changing the city slogan to, "i love new york. wait, no. i hate new york. i can't do this anymore. we are so breaking up. trust me. we are never, ever, ever getting back together." they're changing the slogan. i think it's cool. [ cheers and applause ] it's young and cool. yeah, i like it a lot. uh-oh, guys. a little contr-a-versy here. >> steve: ooh. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i say contr-a-versy, we air in england. so i have to say that. i'm contractually obligated. a little controversy. during an interview last night, weather channel co-founder john coleman says there's no such thing as man-made global warming. [ audience oohs ] it's actually not the first controversial statement coleman has said about the weather. take a look at some other risky things he said. he said, "i've been naming all the hurricanes after girls who dumped me in high school." [ laughter ] i mean -- >> steve: wow! >> jimmy: -- how can he do this? here's one, here's one more. he said, "when we send our meteorologist to report live from the storm, we kind of hope something bad happens to them. it makes for better tv."
[ cheers and applause ] i never realized -- that's not fair. they're out there giving us the weather. [ applause ] finally, last night was another episode of "dancing with the stars." do you like that show, "dancing with the stars"? [ cheers and applause ] we love it. i love it. america loves it. things got pretty intense last night. i mean, you could actually feel the pain that the dancers are going through. check this out. >> three, four -- [ groans ] >> did that hit you in the [ bleep ]? >> oh, wow. >> you okay? >> yeah, i'll be all right. >> what do you need? >> nothing. >> a snack? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i guess i'll take a snack, yeah. [ laughter ] i'll just take a couple of nuts. if you have them out there. [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show, guys! give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa, baby! welcome, welcome, welcome,
guys. thanks for watching our show. hey, halloween is this friday. you guys. [ cheers ] just a reminder. i can't wait, i love halloween. i love seeing all the crazy costumes. my favorites are always the ones people make themselves. you know? like, this one's made by one of our writers. he played -- [ laughter ] middle-aged mutant ninja turtle. that's what it -- [ laughter ] middle-aged mutant ninja turtle. so, this gave me an idea. i want you guys to go on instagram or on twitter and post your own diy halloween costume picks. go crazy. it can be a super simple idea or an elaborate costume that you spent hours making. just make sure you made it yourself. give it a good name. then tag it with the hashtag #falloncostume. and then, we'll take the best costumes and show them later this week on the show. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: give you some ideas. and what a week of shows we have ahead of us. >> steve: oh, boy. >> jimmy: tomorrow night, jake gyllenhaal will be here! >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and we're gonna get into a water war. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: that's right, yeah.
and later this week, gordon ramsey will be here. kevin spacey will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] kevin spacey, i love that guy. and music from she and him. so, you don't want to miss it. it's a big week. [ cheers and applause ] but first, tonight we have a a bunch of fun people here. he's one of our favorites. a talented guy. his new movie "horns" is out friday. daniel radcliffe -- >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: -- is here! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: a delight. he's a delight. >> jimmy: they love him. >> steve: they love that man. >> jimmy: plus, we love it. he hasn't been here since our very first show, our very first "tonight show." we love it when this guy stops by. mike tyson is dropping in! iron mike tyson! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: iron mike! >> jimmy: i would never do this -- i would never do this around mike tyson. >> steve: no. one hit, you can fly like a a thousand feet. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. it'd be silly. i'd just go -- [ laughter ] yeah. but mike tyson, we're going to -- i'm going to see if mike is up to playing an old school game later in the show. >> steve: oh. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: something really fun. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: something that everyone loves. >> steve: oh.
>> jimmy: something nintendo-y. >> steve: eee-oh, no! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! don't go ahead of me. hey. >> steve: hey. >> jimmy: why am i yelling? i'm sorry. >> steve: why are you yelling at me? [ laughter ] are you all right? >> jimmy: i'm just so excited and happy that everyone's in a a good mood and ready for this fun. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i got to get the energy out. oh, man. you know our musical guest? sturgill simpson, you guys. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: it's a new guy. [ cheers and applause ] i like this guy. >> steve: old school. >> jimmy: he's not old school. he's new school. [ laughter ] >> steve: well, he's new school that sings like old school, doesn't he? >> jimmy: he sounds -- yeah, well, kind of. he's got a new sound. but if you like country music -- you like country music, anyone out there? [ cheers and applause ] do you like meryl haggard? anyone like meryl haggard? >> steve: yeah! come on! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: waylon jennings, the highway men? any of that stuff? willie nelson? check out this dude here. sturgill simpson. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's it. that's all you get until the show tonight.
you'll be cruising around in your truck, windows rolled down, the whole back's filled with pumpkins. >> steve: pumpkin spiced lattes. [ laughter ] chestnut praline latte. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: whole back filled with pralines. [ laughter ] guys, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today, and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight, we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of dressing up your pet for halloween. [ laughter ] a new report says that over two-thirds of americans will be getting costumes for their pets this year. so, let's take a look at the pros and cons of dressing up your pet for halloween. here we go. pro, it's the easiest way to make your dog look really cute. con, besides not dressing him up. i mean, they're -- [ laughter ] pretty cute as they are. pro, pets love to wear costumes. con, which is why they squirm and growl when you try to put
them on. [ laughter ] >> steve: they love it. >> jimmy: it's a sign of happiness. i saw that on caesar -- caesar -- >> steve: caesar millan. >> jimmy: millan, yeah. [ laughter ] >> steve: the dog whisperer. >> jimmy: pro, choosing from a a wide variety of dog costumes. con, like slutty lassie, slutty bengie and slutty air bud. [ laughter and applause ] they're great costumes. >> steve: slutty air bud? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's nothing in the rule book that says dogs can't be slutty. [ laughter ] pro, getting to see your dog at a party with other dogs in costumes. cons, hearing her say, "that bitch stole my outfit." i mean -- [ laughter and applause ] the paws come out. pro, spending weeks trying to come up with a fun, creative and original costume for you and your guinea pig to wear together. [ laughter ] con, eventually saying, "screw it," tying it to your head and going as donald trump. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: there you go. >> jimmy: it's faster. >> steve: beautiful. >> jimmy: it's just faster. pro, feeding your puppy a
a dog-friendly treat on halloween night. con, finding a tootsie roll on your rug the next morning. it just -- [ laughter ] >> steve: there you go. >> jimmy: yeah. pro, going to a costume party full of pets in fun outfits. con, seeing superman sniffing optimus prime's butt. [ laughter ] that's something you don't see. >> steve: no, you don't see that every day. >> jimmy: no. pro, hearing someone say, "aw, look at the puppy dressed up like e.t." con, responding, "actually that's my son and he's not wearing a costume." [ laughter ] [ sad music ] ♪ >> steve: phone home. >> jimmy: what'd you say, son? >> steve: phone home. >> jimmy: how did you know "phone home"? >> steve: what? >> jimmy: e.t.? ♪ [ laughter ] [ humming "e.t." theme ] pro, bringing your dog to a a party dressed as a sexy maid. >> steve: mm-hmm. >> jimmy: con, bringing home a a litter of puppies nine weeks later. that's the --
[ laughter ] you know, you gotta watch it. >> steve: the price you pay. >> jimmy: and finally, pro, if you're afraid that your cat will hate you after this, don't worry. con, because he's always hated you. there you go. [ cheers and applause ] that's the "pros and cons." we'll be back with daniel radcliffe, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ when the game is on the line...
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: our first guest played the namesake character in the biggest movie franchise of all-time, "harry potter." [ cheers and applause ] starting friday, his new film "horns" will be out in theaters and available on demand and on itunes. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome daniel radcliffe! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome to the show! >> thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: daniel. daniel, welcome. >> thank you very much.
>> jimmy: thank you for being here. you look great. you've got this movie "horns." it comes out on halloween. >> yes. >> jimmy: was halloween a a big -- is that a big holiday in england? >> it's getting bigger now. it wasn't very big when i was -- i've never been trick-or-treating in my life. i know, see? what? a lot of people say that. um, yeah, no, i just haven't yet. but i think if i started now, it would be kind of creepy. [ laughter ] >> if i was just to turn up in -- without a costume, it'd be like, give me your candy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well they'd be psyched, they'd be like -- "oh, my gosh, that's the best harry potter costume i've ever seen in my entire life." [ laughter ] you look just like him. you look just like him. >> uh, it's been suggested that i should go as him, but i think just people would see me and be like, you're insane. >> jimmy: you really need free candy? >> yeah -- >> jimmy: i was watching -- i was reading some uh internet. on reddit, you did an interview, ask me anything. and they told you about this meme that's out on the internet now. have you seen this thing. >> yeah, it's daniel boring -- daniel boringcliffe and daniel radcliffe. >> jimmy: yeah, daniel boringcliffe.
there's a difference. >> wait, there's two -- there's two versions of me. >> jimmy: but this is, this is a picture of daniel boringcliffe. >> that's daniel boring cliff. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now. this is a picture of daniel radcliffe. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] >> it's great, cause i, i never i mean i never, you never really think about your name. you're name is just a thing you're kind of landed with. and like, now i really enjoy it. because i think, every time i think of radcliffe, i think "god, it could be so much worse, i could be called daniel borincliffe." >> jimmy: yeah, but you actually are rad. uh, now uh, i saw this movie "horns" is very cool. uh, now in the movie, you do a a great american accent. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's fantas -- you do a fantastic american accent. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: and i was just thinking like, how hard it would be because when i do a a british accent, it's just very, very hard. >> it is, the british accent is a hard accent. it's very hard, sometimes you can do it, sometimes -- but that's the thing you, you do what? uh, most americans decide to go either to go sort of cockney, or very posh.
and you've gone cockney, which is perfectly acceptable. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that real? or is that fake? >> yeah, i really talk like this. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> but, yeah, i dunno. similarly, english people always, i think most english people do an american accent, they would go for a kind of texan, southern sound. that they instinctively -- [ cheers ] >> jimmy: yeah, they do. like do -- can you do the american accent? >> no. >> jimmy: no. do a southern, do a southern -- >> no, because i might want to play a southern -- >> jimmy: no, no, no we'll do it right now, we'll just do it for a roleplay. >> okay. >> jimmy: and i'll be a cockney man on trial. [ cheers ] and you're a lawyer in a very hot courtroom. i didn't do it i swear. it wasn't me, i mean uh, normally, we drive on the other side of the road. see, so. [ laughter ] i can't even concentrate it's so hot in here. >> jimmy: hey, uh, that's not bad. >> i know -- >> jimmy: after you do it, do you go like this? that's your -- >> you do a bit of an accent and go, is that okay? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's acting for you. your accent, though, your american accent is american all the way in this film. and i read somewhere that you
learned american accents from wwf or wwe. from wrestlers. >> yeah, well that -- yeah. yeah, you should see how i talk in the film. it's very dramatic all the time. >> jimmy: i can't understand what's going on. -- these horns growing out of my head. you're gonna go down! royal rumble! you'll see! be there! [ cheers and applause ] that was the first five minutes. >> that's -- i don't think you even need to see the movie now. >> jimmy: exacty, yeah. >> no but basically --. >> jimmy: it's so hot in here. >> wwf, as it was then, was one of my, like many american cultural influences in the u.k. when i was growing up along with other stuff like "friends" and "frasier." and just -- when you heard american accents all the time in england. so, it's very, you sort of grow up doing it. like when i recreated royal rumbles with like wwf action figures, i gave them the appropriate accents. [ laughter ] >> but they were never hitting each other. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. where were you, just in your
bedroom, just playing? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. just --i was an only child. there was time to kill. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you have these dolls? and who, who were your doll -- who were your wrestlers? >> well, there would be like the rock, and triple h, and stone cold steve austin, and the undertaker, and kane. and -- yeah. >> jimmy: oh, that's fantastic. >> it was uh -- i feel like i maybe, i feel like i grew up in a golden era of wrestling, really. >> jimmy: i think everyone feels that way. >> yeah, probably. >> jimmy: i grew up with junkyard dog and hulk hogan and -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: rowdy rowdy piper and you know -- >> yeah, no, but it was great, wasn't it? well, the rock was always my favorite. that was, he was -- and i have a horrible like -- a not so secret desire to like do like, a somehow find a part for me and dwayne johnson to play in the same movie. like i don't know. >> jimmy: you and the rock? >> yeah, absolutely, like that would be -- >> jimmy: we can make this happen. he watches the show. >> does he? he knows i'm a fan, because i've had friends -- who have -- like mutual friends who've addressed him on other films and stuff, so. i actually have a t-shirt which one of them got him to make me. uh, which his um -- well, they made it, he took the
picture. they weren't like "make this, dwayne." >> jimmy: force him to sew a a t-shirt. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's kinda weird. >> um, but no, it's just a a t-shirt with a picture of him holding up a sign saying dan radcliffe, number one fan. which i have, like i have that. that's a thing i have in my life. >> jimmy: what would be the show? what would be the film? let's come up with the idea. what's the idea for this film? >> well, i my initial thought was a buddy cop movie. um, about two kind of like unlikely partners who ofcourse forced to work together. and then are bonded by like -- this came out of another idea that me and a friend were having one night where we were just coming up with bad pun names for films. and we decided a buddy cop movie about two cops that are joined over their love of music. should be called siren song. and so we pitched that. >> jimmy: musical cops. >> yeah, it's not a musical movie. but they're both like "ah man, i love this music so much." and they're like "ah, i didn't like you, but actually, we have the same taste in this." >> jimmy: that goes on for two hours. >> essentially. yeah two hours of that. >> jimmy: i like it. >> but wouldn't you like to see me and the rock do that? >> jimmy: how about "rock and radcliffe." >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's called "rock and
radcliffe." that's also the name of the movie. >> ok, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: so it's rock and radcliffe in "rock and radcliffe." and you're two competing beach bands, like an elvis movie, under a cliff, and like a clam bake. and you're two competing bands, and then you, and you get together to form one band called rock and radcliffe. >> oh yeah, i can see that as being excellent. >> jimmy: siren songs, or better yet --. >> i dunno, i'm going with rock and -- if either of those films get made -- if you're watching, and you want to make either of those films -- >> jimmy: i get 10%. >> yes. >> jimmy: that's what you're trying to say. yeah, thank you for saying that. [ cheers and applause ] i made a lot of money tonight. >> we've been productive already. >> jimmy: very productive tonight. let's explain what "horns" is about. if you need -- if you want a halloween film to watch. it's a very -- i would say -- it's a thinking movie on top of being a little scary. >> yeah, i mean, it is a horror movie. and it has horror elements to it. but it's also very funny. you can't make a film about a a guy who grows horns without having a sense of humor about it. >> jimmy: he grows horns out of his head? >> he grows horns out of his head. basically, a very, very short summary of the plot. my girlfriend in the movie has
been murdered and the whole town thinks that i've done it. one night, after a night of debauchery, i wake up with kind of the beginning of devil's horns growing out of my head. they emerge and i suddenly realize that they are making people confess stuff to me. so i realize i can use them to figure out who killed my girlfriend, and also figure out why i'm now becoming the devil. it's crazy, it's wild, it's funny. it's a lot of fun. >> jimmy: yeah, that's good. we have a clip here where there's a bunch of reporters trying to get the first interview. trying to get you to talk to the cameras. >> oh, yeah, and it's probably important to know for this that the horns have sort of let me make people do what i want. important information. >> jimmy: yeah. very good. here's a clip of daniel radcliffe in "horns." check it out. >> hey, ig, nice look for you. showing your true nature? >> you know, i'd appreciate if you guys all just -- come on, ig. admit you killed her. it'd be such a huge scoop for me. >> good to know your journalistic integrity is unimpeachable. >> hey, you confess to me, i can get out of stupid local news. >> you know what, i've got an idea. how about you guys beat the -- out of each other and the winner gets an exclusive
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[ laughter ] but you're a big music fan. >> i am a bug music fan, yeah. >> jimmy: you're a big rap fan. >> i am, which surprises a lot of people about me. yeah, but i am -- >> jimmy: what rap do you enjoy? >> initially i got into eminem, and was obsessed with -- hey, every kid -- i think i was in the first class to learn all the words of real slim shady -- i've always had like an obsession with -- there's also guys like, plan-b in england. you should check it out. [ cheers ] okay, sweet. [ laughter ] and -- but yeah, i've always had kind of an obsession with memorizing complicated lyrically, intricate and fast songs, i guess. >> jimmy: yeah. i mean like -- blackalicious' alphabet aerobics. >> that would be one. >> jimmy: you know how to do that whole song? >> yeah, i do, yeah. >> jimmy: that's one of the trickiest, fastest songs i know. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: cool. [ cheers and applause ] >> can i take my jacket off. >> jimmy: sure. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> now it's time for our rap-up, let's give it everything we've got, ready let's begin -- ♪ artificial amateurs aren't at all amazing analytically, i assault animate things ♪ ♪ broken barriers bounded by the bomb beat buildings are broken basically i'm bombarding ♪ ♪ casually create catastrophes, casualties cancelling cats got their canopies collapsing ♪ ♪ detonate a dime of dank daily doin dough demonstrations, don dada on the down low ♪ ♪ eatin other editors with each and every energetic epileptic episode elevated etiquette ♪ ♪ furious fat fabulous fantastic flurries of funk felt feeding the fanatics ♪ ♪ gift got great global goods gone glorious gettin godly in his game with the goriest ♪ ♪ hit em high, hella height, historical hey holocaust hints hear 'em holler at your homeboy ♪ ♪ imitators idolize i intimidate in a instant, i'll rise
in a irate state ♪ ♪ juiced on my jams like jheri curls jockin joints justly, it's just me writin my journals ♪ ♪ kindly i'm kindling all kinds of ink on karate kick type brits in my kingdom ♪ ♪ let me live a long life lyrically lessons is learned lame louses just lose to my livery ♪ ♪ my mind makes marvelous moves, masses marvel and move, many mock what i've mastered ♪ ♪ nap knowin i'm nice naturally knack, never lack make noise nationally ♪ ♪ operation, opposition off, not optional out of sight, out of mind wide beaming opticals ♪ ♪ perfected poem powerful punchlines pummelling petty powder puffs in my prime ♪ ♪ quite quaint quotes keep quiet it's quannum quarrelers ain't got a quarter of what we got uh ♪ ♪ really raw raps risin up rapidly riding the rushing radioactivity ♪ ♪ super scientifical sound search sought silencing super fire saps that are soft ♪ ♪ tales ten times talented, too tough take that, challengers get a tune up ♪ ♪ universal, unique untouched unadulterated the raw uncut ♪ ♪ verb vice lord victorious valid violate vibes that are vain make em vanished well would a wise ♪ ♪ wordsmith just weaving up words weeded up, i'm a workshift
xerox, my x-ray-diation ♪ ♪ holes extra large x-height letters and xylophone tones yellow back, yak mouth ♪ ♪ young ones yaws yesterday's lawn yards sell our yawn ♪ ♪ zig zag zombies zoomin to the zenith zero in zen thoughts, overzealous rhyme zea-lots ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on! daniel radcliffe! [ cheers and applause ] >> thanks. thank you. >> jimmy: "horns" is in theaters and on demand and on itunes this friday! daniel radciffe! [ cheers and applause ] mike tyson joins us next! come on back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] (elevator music) ♪ oh my gosh ♪ ohhh, ohhh, ohhh, ohhh
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was fun, huh? [ cheers and applause ] our next guest is a boxing legend, actor, author, his new show "mike tyson mysteries" premiered last night. on "adult swim." it is fantastic. if you like scooby-doo and cartoons, and -- funny things, and dirty words, you have to watch that.
[ laughter ] his "new york times" best-selling book "undisputed truth" came out in paperback today. ladies and gentlemen, give it up for mike tyson! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love you! that's what i'm talking about! iron mike tyson. i always -- i always try to get you to dance when you come out. i love watching you dance, man. i love it. >> i bet you do. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i do, yeah, i do. >> i bet you do. >> jimmy: but how can you not dance. you've got the roots playing. >> the rooty guys. >> jimmy: the rooty guys, they're doing it up -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: great to see you again buddy. everything going well?
>> yeah everything's doing fine. >> jimmy: hows the family? are they getting ready for halloween? are they getting dressed up? >> they bought some stuff. we've got ninja turtles, we've got "frozen." we got a couple of them -- >> jimmy: do you ever see people dress as you for halloween? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] do you like it or it freaks you out? >> yeah it's pretty creepy. >> jimmy: yeah yeah yeah. [ laughter ] i saw you tweeted out a -- somebody made a pumpkin, a a mike tyson pumpkin. which is pretty awesome actually, i like that. that's pretty cool looking. >> you know, i would say all entertainers -- you know, people who made success -- i never think about myself. i can't think about what other people think about me. >> jimmy: yeah, i know, we definitely think about you. yeah, yeah, yeah. when you got that tattoo, you didn't think somebody would make a pumpkin or anything, no. >> no. >> jimmy: no yeah, no yeah. that's what happens when i get a tattoo, "is somebody going to make a pumpkin out of this" did you ever grow up when you were a kid and halloween, trick or treating? >> i've grown up yes i'm here now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, you have grown
up, i'm saying when -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i don't want to make you mad. >> i would never be mad at you. i'm not going to be mad at you. we're just hanging out, were chilling. >> jimmy: now when you were growing up, i'm saying, what costumes were you? >> i had the real cheap ones, you know with the real hard stiff with a slit -- it was asphyxiating. you could hardly breathe or see out of the mask. now they have the velcro. >> jimmy: and you had that little thin plastic, rubber like -- >> yeah, like a plastic -- the like the pee sheet -- rubber drapes, rubber drapes -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a pee sheet yeah. like a tablecloth. >> no, the pee sheet like when you wet the bed -- [ laughter ] sheets are made of rubber. remember the rubber? >> jimmy: i thought it was an italian designer. the pee sheet, yeah. >> the pee sheet.
>> jimmy: the pee sheet. yeah, sorry, the pee sheet. yeah, it's like wearing a pee sheet. i remember i had a batman once that had that hard plastic batman -- >> it was hard right? >> jimmy: you can't breathe. cut -- cut your lip when you're trying to talk. i'm batman and the thing would break, and your lip would be cut and blood would be coming out. i remember, i jumped off the stoop, 'cause we went trick or treating with my parents i went, i got trick or treating and jumped off the -- tried to be batman, and the thing just tore because -- [ light laughter ] it just was made out of -- it's basically a pee sheet. >> and you always get the little green army men. that's gonna make the toy hall of fame this year. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the green army men? >> remember they had the little platform stuck together. >> jimmy: yeah, they're aimed and you just got to move the dudes this way and that way. and aim -- >> the ones that die, you knock them over. >> jimmy: yeah -- you wouldn't get that for treats or anything?
>> no, but every day you could get that because you can -- >> jimmy: how did your brain get there? [ laughter ] how did you -- how did you get ther from batman costumes to the green army men? >> i got trick-or-treat confused with christmas. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that makes sense! that makes sense. that makes sense. i'm was like, wait, what? >> and that happens when i'm sober. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know, i know, i imagine. congrats on the book and on the play. i saw you in the play. >> the book is confusing sometimes and i'm not, you know -- [ laughter ] it's confusing. as to what they're going to have in here that they didn't have me for my other book. was my other book too heavy that they made a paperback? >> jimmy: no, it's not for weight. no, it's because the hard cover
did so well, now that you have the paperback, it's cheaper and now people who couldn't afford the hard book can buy the cheaper paperback. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> wow, i never knew that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, you did. >> i thought it was lighter -- >> jimmy: to heavy? no, no, no. >> the first one stays at the house, this one you carry with you. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. first one stays at the house. it's not a bible. [ laughter ] but this one does have extra stuff. you added extra weight. and i'm actually -- you've added another chapter of what happened after you wrote this book. and did this play. and you're actually currently on tour as well. >> i came back from monaco -- i just came back from monaco. i came back from tampa. the hard rock -- i've been doing all the the hard rocks now. me and the hard rocks are doing pretty good stuff. >> jimmy: that's amazing though. did you think it was going to be this big? >> well no. but i thought we were going door to door vegas, you can go into the hotel, hotel. do all the hotels and come back -- >> jimmy: now you're in monaco, going -- good lord yeah, exactly. but it's amazing. good for you. >> i got an an
award for that, in monaco. >> jimmy: what should you get an award for? >> i received one, yes. >> jimmy: you did? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, look, it's almost christmas time. >> okay, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: everyone's talking about what they want for christmas stuff like that and here's one things that i got for christmas. and everyone got and everyone loved. this is mike tyson punchout. this is one of the best -- do you remember this? yeah, this is the number one selling video game right now. currently, it's not even out until christmas. no but this is the best thing in the whole wide world. i remember playing this and staying up late. you couldn't really just pause it -- you could pause it, but you would have to beat everyone to go up to mike tyson, which is you, at the end. and you get one chance to punch out mike tyson. >> wow. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. it was fightening and you're very, very good, of course. i thought it would be an amazing thing to play mike tyson punchout and tried to fight yourself.
>> i always get killed man. >> jimmy: how do you know though, you don't know -- >> he beats everybody. i met one little kid about 10 years old who said he beat me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, come on. you can beat -- mike tyson is the best. the only person that can beat mike tyson is mike tyson. [ cheers and applause ] that's deep, right? yeah, yeah. let's give it a try. let's give it a try. let's see how long it takes. [ cheers and applause ] either way, you're going to win. [ cheers and applause ] >> wow. >> jimmy: either way it's a a win, win you know. now look -- there you are, right there. no, that's you right here. >> i'll just go. >> jimmy: you're from catskills, new york, 21, 220 -- >> how far am i from you, 17 miles? about 17 -- >> jimmy: absolutely. >> i was down the block from you man. montana -- >> this is such a hillbilly right here. >> jimmy: oh, my god! yeah, right. [ laughter ] now, here's the deal now -- here's the way it works. all right?
once you push start, you're in the fight. >> okay. >> jimmy: and you're going to go up against iron mike tyson. >> i'm little mack right now. >> jimmy: you're little mack right now, absolutely. and you press start. >> little mack is on the attack. >> jimmy: here we go. one, two, three! good luck! [ cheers and applause ] go! come on! >> aw! >> jimmy: come on, mike! all right come on. a-b, right? >> no, but nothing's happening. >> jimmy: oh, oh! come on! oh! he's blocking, he's blocking, he's blocking. oh! all right, press a b -- get up! you're up! there he goes! fight! come on back in! go! yes! oh! go, go! come on! this is longer than many of the people you've fought before in the real ring! [ laughter ] you broke record! you're just making yourself mad! >> oh, oh, oh, oh! [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: tko the winner, mike tyson! it's a win-win, dude! [ applause ] mike tyson, everybody! mike tyson undisputed truth is in stores now. mike tyson mysteries airs monday night 10:30 on adult swim. sturgill simpson performs next. mike tyson mysteries, you got to see it. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ at wvalues matter.ket, so the fresh fruits and vegetables we sell support organic and sustainable farming. grown locally on over 1000 us farms, and globally with our ethical trade program. rated for sustainability, and grown by people with responsible farming practices like stehly farms organics becuse to us, value is inseparable from values. whole foods market, america's healthiest grocery store.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is enjoying massive critical acclaim for his latest album, "metamodern sounds in country music." fantastic. here to perform its opening track "turtles all the way down," please welcome sturgill simpson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i've seen jesus play with flames in a lake of fire that i was standing in met the devil in seattle ♪ ♪ and spent nine months inside the lions den met buddha yet another time and he showed me ♪ ♪ a glowing light within
but i swear that god is there every time i glare into the eyes ♪ ♪ of my best friend says my son it's all been done ♪ ♪ and someday yer gonna wake up old and gray so go and try to have some fun ♪ ♪ showing warmth to everyone you meet and greet and cheat along the way ♪ ♪ there's a gateway in our mind that leads somewhere out there far beyond this place ♪ ♪ where reptile aliens
made of light cut you open and pull out all your pain ♪ ♪ tell me how you make illegal something that we all make in our brain ♪ ♪ some say you might go crazy but then again it might make you go sane ♪ ♪ every time i take a look inside that old and fabled book ♪ ♪ i'm blinded and reminded of the pain caused by some old man in the sky ♪ ♪ marijuana lsd psilocybin and dmt ♪ ♪ they all changed the way i see but love's the only thing that ever saved my life ♪ ♪ so don't waste your mind on nursery rhymes or fairy tales of blood and wine ♪ ♪ it's turtles all the way down the line so to each their own
'til we go home ♪ ♪ to other realms our souls must roam to and through the myth that we all call space and time ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ah. that's good. that's good right there. thank you so much. fantastic! sturgill simpson, everybody! "metamodern sounds in country music" is out now. we'll be right back, everybody, come on. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: my thanks to daniel radcliffe! mike tyson! sturgill simpson, once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen, from philadelphia. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye, bye. thanks! [ cheers and applause ] ♪