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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  April 29, 2015 11:34pm-12:37am EDT

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♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- kristen wiig, thomas middleditch, musical guest josh groban,
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 252, kitty hawk, nc! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! that's what i'm talking about, right there! hey! [ cheers and applause ] oh, wow. welcome. welcome, everyone, to "the tonight show." thank you so much for being here. let's get right to the news. here's what everyone's talking about. there are reports that democratic senator from vermont, bernie sanders, will announce tomorrow that he is officially running for president.
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[ cheers ] yeah. that's right. it's true. if you don't know who bernie sanders is, here's a a picture of him. [ laughter ] apparently, his running mate is marty mcfly. [ laughter ] great scott, marty! we need 1.1 gigabucks for our superpac. [ cheers ] that's right, vermont senator bernie sanders is expected to announce tomorrow that he is running for president, making him hillary clinton's only democratic challenger so far. or as hillary put it, "ooh, appetizers!" [ laughter ] hungry. of course, most people aren't familiar with bernie sanders. so, to help you get to know him a little bit, here's a clip from one of his recent speeches. check it out. >> this country now is in a a major race to the bottom. >> jimmy: that's right, yeah. [ laughter ] i'm not sure if you noticed, but he's kind of known for using his hands a lot when he speaks. in fact, take a look at another clip. >> this is not just the republicans who are
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supporting -- trade agreements. ♪ there have been democratic presidents as well. corporate america has said we want great power. and the leaders of both political parties have said "yeah, that's what we will do." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: he conducts himself well. >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: he conducts himself well. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you. guys, speaking of the campaign, i -- [ laughter ] i saw that hillary -- are you starting your own applause break? >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wasn't that funny. >> steve: oh, my gosh. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: speaking of the campaign, i saw that hillary clinton tweeted her support for same-sex marriage with the hashtag, "love can't wait." then bill leaned in for a kiss
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and she was like, "not now!" [ laughter ] "i'm busy." many believe that if hillary clinton's campaign falls apart, joe biden will be the go-to candidate for the democratic party. incidentally, that's also the slogan hillary's using to raise money. [ laughter ] "if my campaign falls apart, joe biden will be the go-to candidate." [ cheers and applause ] very effective. i'm gonna pay. i heard that while promoting the docu-series about his failed congressional run, clay aiken called his former opponent renee ellmers an idiot. she was like, "what did you say?" and he was like, "did i studdard?" [ laughter ] [ applause ] ♪ get over it. >> steve: oh! hey! >> jimmy: it's been ten years, get over it. did you see this? because of the riots in baltimore, the orioles played their game against the chicago white sox in a completely empty stadium this afternoon.
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yeah, that's right, they're playing baseball and nobody is coming to support them. or as i called that growing up, little league. [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] ♪ dad, is that you? oh, it's just a pile of leaves. [ laughter ] ♪ will you hug me? [ applause ] thank you. >> steve: he got blown away by the wind. >> jimmy: the wind took him away, yeah. no, my dad came to all the games. >> steve: he did. >> jimmy: i actually told my dad to stop coming to the games. it was just -- ♪ no. why don't you want me at the games anymore? give me a hug, jimmy.
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oh, it's just a pile of leaves. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: it's like the gift of the magi. >> jimmy: we wore a lot of autumnal colors in our house. >> steve: yeah, so you didn't know if it was you, because it was camouflage. >> jimmy: i didn't know if it was me, my dad, or a pile of leaves. [ light laughter ] rust colors, stuff like that. oranges. check this out, you guys. south dakota -- i love south dakota. they have a new tourism campaign. this is real, by the way. we didn't doctor this up. they are trying to convince people to come to their state. and they're really playing to their strengths here. this is a real commercial. take a look at this. >> south dakota. progressive. productive. and abundant in oxygen. why die on mars when you can live in south dakota? south dakota, you can live here. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: what? you know you're struggling when the best slogan is, "south dakota, slightly better than dead." [ laughter and applause ]
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can you breathe here? why live on mars? >> steve: yeesh. >> jimmy: what is -- maybe it's way ahead of its time. i don't know. >> steve: yeah, i think it is. >> jimmy: i read about a new reality show over on cbs where a family must decide whether to keep $101,000 in a briefcase or give it away to another family. the show's called, "yeah, we'll keep the briefcase." [ laughter ] it's the first 10 second show in tv history. yeah, i'll keep the briefcase. this is sweet here. i heard that a -- oh, this is very, very sweet. a 91-year-old woman in the u.k. recently got engaged to her 102-year-old boyfriend. [ audience aws ] which would make them the oldest newlyweds in the world. yeah, they're really happy. they said they can't wait to spend the rest of their week together. [ laughter ] so nice. the week. the week. sorry, spend the rest of the week together. >> steve: right. the week. >> jimmy: apologize, not wearing my glasses. not wearing my glasses. >> steve: you gotta put on your
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cheaters. >> jimmy: i couldn't see the cue cards. it looked like a bag of leaves. [ laughter ] hey, if you're applying to jobs, you should listen to this. according to bloomberg magazine, helvetica is the best font for your resume. that's right. i'll tell you who wasn't happy about this. >> steve: who? >> jimmy: other fonts. in fact, some of them were so upset, they even typed out their own messages. take a look at this. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: comic sans says -- "this is sad news, so come cheer yourself up with a a housewarming party! saturday, 4 p.m. bring a dessert or paper plates!" handwriting dakota said -- "that sucks. milk, eggs, green beans, wheat bread, pork chops, orange juice, flour." [ laughter ] and finally, wingdings said -- [ gibberish ] [ applause ] it's pretty hard to understand that one. we have a great show, you guys. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: before we get started, we are continuing to help the people in nepal by highlighting different ways to help those affected by the earthquake. so, tonight, text "nepal" to 864233 and you'll donate $10 to the united nations international children's emergency fund. thank you to unicef, and thank you for your donation. [ cheers and applause ] it's been a great week so far. there is more ahead. tomorrow night, from the giant new movie, "avengers: age of ultron," the beautiful scarlett johansson will be here. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh! she's the best! >> jimmy: but first, we have the best show tonight. [ cheers ] this is the show to be at. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: i love our first guest. she just might be the funniest person in the world. her new movie, "welcome to me," opens friday. kristen wiig is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] i absolutely love her.
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can't like her more. from the hbo comedy "silicon valley," thomas middleditch is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he's funny as well. and we've got great, great music. oh, my gosh. this guy's pulled out all the stops for our show, and i owe this guy big time. he has an orchestra here, there's singers -- it's just a a beautiful, beautiful thing. if you have a sound system at home, this is a good night to use it. >> steve: to turn it on. >> jimmy: to turn it on, yeah. normally, they watch my monologue, like -- >> steve: yeah, i'm not gonna turn it on. >> jimmy: i can hear jimmy's unfunny jokes in 5.1 sound. [ light laughter ] like, no. now, this is a reason to get it all -- >> steve: get the tubes ready. crank that whole thing up. >> jimmy: get it geeked out. get the tubes warmed up. get the thx. wake up lucas, if george lucas is sleeping over your house. [ light laughter ] wake up george lucas. get him to listen to this. this is some good stuff. josh groban is here tonight. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] what a show! >> jimmy: this is a major show. it's "the tonight show." we don't screw around, man. we don't.
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today's wednesday, obviously, guys. so it means, obviously, it's time to count down the hottest songs at the top of the charts right now. so, here we go. number three, we've got -- >> steve: obviously, because it's wednesday. >> jimmy: -- "earned it" by the weeknd. >> steve: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: love that song. >> steve: love it. >> jimmy: middle of the week, we like to let everybody know the top of the charts. >> steve: you gotta let 'em know. >> jimmy: number two, we have "uptown funk" by mark ronson featuring bruno mars. [ cheers ] yeah, that's a great one. and holding steady at number one is "see you again" by wiz khalifa featuring charlie puth. >> steve: oh, there. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go right there. those are the top three songs. >> steve: love it. >> jimmy: so now let's take a a look at the bottom of the charts -- at number 97, it's "i really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really like you" by carly rae jepsen. [ light laughter ] sounds interesting. i've heard of her song "i really like you." this is a different take on it, i guess. do we have a clip of this? can we hear what this sounds like? ♪ i know this isn't love
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but i need to tell you something ♪ ♪ i really, really, really really, really, really, really really, really, really ♪ ♪ really, really, really really, really, really really, really, really really like you ♪ [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i can see it, that's is on its way out. [ applause ] >> steve: lot of reallys. >> jimmy: little bit. it's on it's way out. bottom of the charts. number 98, we've got "mmm mmm mmm mmm" performed by tom brokaw. [ laughter ] >> steve: really? should people turn off their sound systems? >> jimmy: no, i mean, their tubes are still warming up. i love that crash test dummies song back in the 90's. >> steve: sure. >> jimmy but i didn't even know tom brokaw did a version of this. >> steve: i didn't either. >> jimmy: can we take a listen to that? ♪ hmmm mmm mmm once there was this kid who got into an accident and couldn't come to school ♪ ♪ so when he finally came
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back his hair had turned from black into bright --♪ >> jimmy: all right. just stop. how'd it even make it on the charts in the first place? >> steve: yeah, well, it's the bottom of the charts. >> jimmy: well, still, he cracked a hundred. good for him. >> steve: yeah. it's the penultimate bottom. >> jimmy: number 99, it's "ymca" by the village idiot people. [ light laughter ] >> steve: really? now, wait a second. >> jimmy: i know the hit by the village people. >> steve: yes, i know that one. >> jimmy: village idiot -- the village idiot people. >> steve: the village idiot people. >> jimmy: you ever heard of those guys? >> steve: no. i have not heard of the village idiot people. >> jimmy: the village idiot people. let's here's a clip of "ymca." ♪ ♪ it's fun to say at the a-m-c-y! it's fun to stay at the c-y-m-j ♪ >> jimmy: forget it. stop it. i can't even listen to it. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] i'm happy it's on it's way out. i can't do the dance. >> steve: no. why would they cover that song if they can't spell? >> jimmy: finally, at number 100, all the way at the bottom of the charts, here's "my own worst enemy" by pee-wee herman. here we go. let's take a listen.
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♪ ♪ can we forget about the things i said when i was drunk ♪ ♪ i didn't mean to call you that ♪ ♪ i can't remember what was said or what you threw at me ♪ ♪ please tell me please tell me why car is in the front yard ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] that's it right there, you guys. stick around. we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show"! and kristen wiig is here! come on! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ long live the pioneers ♪ rebels and mutineers
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! welcome back everybody. thank you so much for being here. thank you for watching. i really appreciate it. as you guys know, we're always striving to get better here at "the tonight show." ♪ harder better faster stronger ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] so before every show we put out a suggestion box for the audience, just to get some feedback about what you guys think of the show, things you'd like to see us do, that kind of stuff. so tonight let's look inside the "audience suggestion box." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ suggestion box >> jimmy: we got a lot in here. oh my goodness. see how many we can get around to. the first one's from hannah goldfarb. she always has good suggestions. she's always sending things in. [ laughter ] "jimmy, have you ever seen those videos on youtube where they take footage of bands, and then add different music and vocals to make them sound bad? you should try that with the roots." i have seen those, they're called "the shreds." i've seen them on youtube. gosh, they make me laugh. they're done by this guy st. sanders, and they are hilarious. i don't know if you guys have seen it. they're really, really, well. so we sent him some footage of the roots with no audio and told him to go crazy. here's what he did. check it out. ♪
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♪ this band ain't bad ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this band ain't bad. st. sanders, thank you for doing that for us. that was really great. this band ain't bad. [ laughter ] this one's from arnold ray. he said, "hey jimmy, i'm just a a normal guy whose two favorite things are "mad men" and butt chins. and sometimes i wish all the characters on "mad men" had
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butt chins. is there a way that you could do that?" you know, arnold, we always take suggestions from our audience very seriously. [ laughter ] so here's a scene from "mad men" where the characters have butt chins. >> so bob grange, and his delightful wife patty saw to our every need and also missed no opportunity to expose us to the unique local flavor. >> we don't want that in the air. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, that's a a good suggestion. [ cheers and applause ] this one's from troy pence. he says, "hey, jimmy, i've always wondered what it would look like if a drummer wore a a go pro camera on his head. can you show me?" that sounds pretty cool. quest, you wanna give it a try? >> questlove: sure, yeah. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: not as cool as i had
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thought. [ laughter ] here you go. let's try another one on. [ laughter ] "hey jimmy" -- oh, this is evie lopez, evie. "jimmy, you've always seem so energetic and so loose on your show. how do you do it?" well, i've actually just started doing a new stretching routine that really helps relax my muscles and tendons. it's a lot of fun. i have some video of me doing it, take a look. [ birds chirping ] ♪ [ laughter ] [ birds chirping ] [ bell dings ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: let's try one more from the old sug box here. our last suggestion is from brad gaines.
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he says, "hey jimmy, as you know, this saturday is the kentucky derby. now, usually, there's a horse that's a clear favorite, but not this year. i was wondering if you had any way of predicting which horse was gonna win?" well, brad, you're in luck, because when it comes to predicting things, we have a a secret weapon, and it's puppies. [ cheers and applause ] that's right, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for "the puppy predictors: 2 2015 kentucky derby edition!" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ predictions puppy predictions ♪ welcome to "the puppy predictors: 2015 kentucky derby edition." here's how it works. we have 16 puppies, each representing one of the top 16 horses competing in saturday's big race, and one giant trough of kibble. [ laughter ] now, whichever puppy crosses the finish line and reaches the trough first will be crowned the kentucky derby winner. now, let's meet the puppies!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ now we have, lined up at the starting gate we have-- international star. dortmund. carpe diem. american pharoah. frosted. mubtaahij. materiality. el kabeir. upstart. far right. it's a knockout. firing line. danzig moon. war story. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] tencendur. and finally, we have gary frick jr.
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[ audience aws ] representing the long shot, stanford. now, guys, before i release you, i want you to listen up. gary, you want to wake up for this one, gary? [ laughter ] gary, you want to get up? it's a big race, the kentucky derby. this the one you have been waiting for all -- yeah. i want to see a fair race. i want to see -- no peeing or butt sniffing, got it? okay? all right here we go. roots, whenever you're ready. [ cheers and applause ] [ call to the post ] okay! release the puppies! [ cheers and applause ] and they're off! right there! confusing -- oh, it's number four. [ ringing ] oh, it's a run away race! ♪ number four! american pharoah will be crowned the 2015 kentucky derby champion. coming in second place was mubtaahij and then far right was in third place. [ cheers and applause ]
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enjoy the race this saturday. do we have a photo finish? can we see what it looks like? four went right in there. six. four, six, ten. there you go. fantastic. enjoy the race this saturday. we'll be right back with kristen wiig, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey, can i help you? yeah, we're interested in the iphone. we promised one to beth for her birthday. you know mobile share value plans now include rollover data, so the data you don't use this month rolls over to the next month. wow, even better. so what are you gonna do with your old phone? i'm giving it to my sister emily. she gets all my old hand-me-downs. oh i'm into bedazzling too. and you admit that? yeah...i...i used to be into bedazzling. i'll go get your phone. get the iphone 6 with rollover data to share. only from at&t. have defected to taco bell's breakfast. so now we are giving everyone in america a free biscuit taco.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey guys, welcome back! thank you for watching the show. guys, i was gonna bring out kristen wiig, but during the commercial break, the coolest thing just happened. we didn't even know this was
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possible, but a very special guest dropped by here in the studio, and we're gonna bring her out here for a quick interview. i'm so excited for this. she is a ruler, an emancipator, and a proud mother of three. you may have seen her on the popular tv show "game of thrones." ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the one and only khaleesi! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ khaleesi! oh, my goodness. khaleesi, this is -- >> oh. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> hi. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. what an honor. [ laughter ] what an honor this is. >> thank you so much. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: now -- now -- oh, my goodness. this is just so exciting for me. khaleesi -- >> yes. >> jimmy: --of course means queen. >> yes, it does. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: remind me again what is your real name? >> karen. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: karen. now, tell me a little bit about yourself. where are you originally from? >> the forest. [ laughter ] i live in the forest on a a mountain. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. you really do? >> yep. >> jimmy: in like a hut or -- >> in a -- like a dome that i made. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you made a dome. >> out of dirt and sticks. [ laughter ] with all my dragons. my dragons helped me build it. >> jimmy: did you just lose your accent? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. okay. now i -- beautiful dress by the
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way. >> thank you. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> this ugly dress? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is one of yours? >> yes. >> jimmy: this is one of your dragons? >> yes, it is. >> jimmy: and how many -- what is -- does he have a name? >> karl. [ laughter ] karlie karlesia. >> jimmy: karlie karlesia. >> jimmy: i want to try a thing with you, if you don't mind. we do this on the show all the time. it's called "rapid fire questions." >> great. >> rapid fire round. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: here we go. time for rapid fire. khaleesi, thank you so much again for being here. i appreciate this. ready, khaleesi, favorite food? >> meat. [ laughter ] the rawer the better. >> jimmy: meat -- the rawer the -- yeah. favorite article of clothing? >> long skirts. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: favorite greeting? >> hi. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: favorite vacation spot? >> oh, the west elm of the shore. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you have any hobbies? what are your hobbies? >> i play the mandolin. >> jimmy: did not know that. >> yep. >> jimmy: and what do you do for fun besides dancing and playing the mandolin? >> i do spells on people. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like a witch type of thing? >> no. >> jimmy: i don't know. sure. sure you can. >> i also tell jokes. [ laughter ] i have been doing some standup. >> jimmy: you have been doing some standup. yeah. and do you have any -- can you do any tonight for us at all? a couple -- >> uh, well, i don't know if you'll get it. [ laughter ] it's about like rocks and swords and stuff. >> jimmy: okay, so about rocks and swords, that's basically what your stand up is about. do you watch movies at all?
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>> i don't know what that is. >> jimmy: a movie is a film, it's a bunch of actors acting out a story. >> okay, actors i know. >> jimmy: and it's projected through light and -- magic and onto a -- >> oh, okay, now i get it. >> jimmy: now you get it. yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] well, i can show you a clip. i have a -- i have a piece of a a movie i can show you. >> okay. okay, great. >> jimmy: it's called "welcome to me." >> oh, that sounds like a great title. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it stars kristen wiig, who's very, very -- >> i love her. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how do you know kristen? >> on the flight over here -- >> jimmy: you bonded. >> we met on the plane. >> jimmy: why didn't you -- can i just -- it's a silly question. why didn't you just take your dragon over? >> this one? >> jimmy: no, or any one. >> there's a whole thing at the airport of like, landing and we didn't have, like --
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space. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: clearance and stuff. didn't have the space for them. understood, no problem. >> america. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] i want to show you a clip of -- this is a movie called "welcome to me." it's about a girl who wins the lottery and uses the money to finance her own daytime talk show and have herself starring in the talk show. >> oh, that's a great premise. [ laughter ] i want to show a clip of "welcome to me." it's in select cities this friday, and then nationwide next -- no, i'm sorry -- no, just in general, it will play. >> oh, okay. >> jimmy: yeah, here we go. just close your eyes and think it. here it is, take a look. [ laughter ] >> ladies and gentlemen, meatloaf cake with mashed sweet potato icing. with only 433 calories, 52 grams of protein, and only five carbohydrates. i think i'm gonna have a slice. >> is it carbohydrates or carbohydrants. >> it's carbohydrates. [ light laughter ]
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>> what's the next piece? >> no, we're on this for a a while. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: did you see it? did you enjoy it? >> yes. yes. >> jimmy: you really did. >> yeah. >> jimmy: before we go, i just wanted to ask you if you would treat the audience to your -- take it out to commercial, singing your hit "wonderful, wonderful, wonderful." >> my what? >> jimmy: you have a hit song. >> oh, i do? >> jimmy: you have a hit song called "wonderful, wonderful, wonderful." [ laughter ] that's the song. thts your song. >> oh. >> jimmy: it was a big hit. everyone knows it. everyone loves it. [ cheers and applause ] you don't have to do it. >> no, i'll do it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i -- i might forget the words. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no. >> "wonderful, wonderful, wonderful."
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oh, yeah, here we go. >> jimmy: yeah, you know the words. >> yep, hit it, roots. ♪ oh. oh. ♪ when you go out on the bridge and you dragon's coming too ♪ ♪ and you're looking for a friend and you say hey karl where are you ♪ ♪ rocks are coming down the path to the castle and everybody says come on guys ♪ ♪ what's the hassle why not feel wonderful wonderful ♪ ♪ why not feel wonderful wonderful ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. my thanks to khaleesi, mother of dragons. [ cheers and applause ] go see "welcome to me" starring kristen wiig in select theaters this friday. nationwide next friday, may 8th. and my apologies to bumping you, kristen, but khaleesi was
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here. thomas middleditch joins us. there he is in the xbox green room. hey, thomas. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [grunt] ♪ [engine revving] ♪ i got bit by a snake. poison? oh god, oh wow. ok, yeah. i feel that. it's definitely poison. apparently, i'm immune to venom. immune steve. immune to venom? ♪ when sends him a ready for you alert the second his room is ready, ya know what salesman alan ames becomes? i think the numbers speak for themselves. i'm sold! a "selling machine!" ready for you alert, only at the switch to t-mobile is on. even verizon customers are seeing the light.
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thstudents intwo hphiladelphia.nd jim kenney and tony williams are fighting over
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public schools versus charters. i think they're both's making sure they all get a good education. teachers should have their contracts respected. they also should be held accountable. and it's wrong philadelphia gets less school funding than other parts of pennsylvania. i'll work with harrisburg to change that. but if they refuse, i'll take them to federal court. as mayor, i'll do what's right for them.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we like to play with kristen every time she comes on. we just ask her to dress up as somebody that she knows nothing anything about. so she has seen one episode of "game of thrones" so i thought -- [ laughter ] anyways that's what happened there as we know. our next guest is a very funny and talented actor. he stars in the emmy and golden globe nominated comedy "silicon valley" which airs sundays at 10:00 pm on hbo. please welcome, thomas middleditch everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ thomas middleditch right there, yeah. thomas welcome. that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] thomas, styling. you're styling --
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>> look at this stylingness. >> jimmy: yeah, you're -- >> i got a suit on. it's so tailored you got to unbutton it. you don't have to unbutton yours, you needed more tailors. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? is that the sign of -- >> yeah. it's a sign you don't know what you're doing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, not at all. you look sharp, but thank you for coming on the show. >> are you kidding? thank you. >> jimmy: gosh, i'm a fan of the show and you are a very funny guy. you're a very cool guy. >> oh, yeah. people come up to me, they are surprised that i'm not my character. they say, "oh, you're not so nerdy." i say, "yes, i'm cool. i have been for my whole life." >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i have proof of some old photos that i have from when i was always cool. >> jimmy: yeah, here you are. >> oh, where is it, here? >> jimmy: yeah, how old are you here? just a little kid here, it's a a cool photo. [ laughter ] >> you see, exactly. it's very cool. you see, i have that hair going. [ laughter ] i have a popped collar before any frat boys were doing it. >> jimmy: oh yeah. >> i got the little fozzy, so i think that was from like a a happy meal. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i have a dead bluetooth. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: what happened? what happened to your tooth? >> i had a rotten mouth. [ laughter ]
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they all called me old rotten mouth. >> jimmy: there -- >> there he is, old rotten mouth. >> jimmy: old tommy rotten mouth. >> panning for gold, he is. [ laughter ] yeah, i had a -- i bashed it on -- you know those old metal tonka dump trucks? >> jimmy: oh, of course yeah. everyone knows that. >> you know, you play in the sand. i had one of those and said, "this is how i play." and i smashed my face on it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. like a couple days right before you took the picture. yeah. >> how do you work this? [ grunt ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah you -- yeah, you bang it into your face. >> jimmy: and then here in your teenage years. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: green hair. [ laughter ] and what were you doing here? >> just chill, man. just chilling, summer. you know why my hair is green because i -- we did these summer musical theaters and as a small town original theater, you know, you mix it up and we did "oliver twist" set in london '80s punk. [ laughter ] so i was the artful dodger with green spiky hair and a leather jacket. >> jimmy: you are cool, that's what i'm saying, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> consider yourself --
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>> jimmy: thank you for bringing those photos. >> no problem. >> jimmy: "silicon valley," this is the second season. >> it's true. >> jimmy: congrats on that. gosh it makes me laugh. it's very funny if you haven't seen it you guys. it's on sundays at 10:00, it's on hbo. for anyone hasn't seen the show, can you set it up at all? >> okay. it's about sort of five party boys who cruise around vegas partying it up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not what this is about at all. no, no, no. >> it's about programmers in silicon valley and they are trying to get an upstart company and -- i can tell by this, you are kind of a computer -- >> i know my computers. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know your computers. >> that's a computer i brought to various l.a.n. parties if any one knows what l.a.n. parties are. >> jimmy: that's a really deep cut. l.a.n., you mean? >> l.a.n., local area network. hey-oo! who is cool now? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wait, so what was -- >> there's a party boy in vegas. >> jimmy: what would have to happen on that l.a.n. party? >> what would have to happen? snacks, not leaving the room for 48 hours. >> jimmy: yeah.
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>> and then your dad would have to come in and open up the room and go, "oh, tom it smells in here open up a window." and then close the door. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> you'd have to have a british dad. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. you have a british dad. >> i do have a british dad. >> jimmy: boy, that must have been fun. >> it was pretty great. >> jimmy: what is -- what is -- >> well, you know, you have these sound clips, right? at least i do. i have sound clips of my dad. and they are always when he's mad, when he's fed up and mad. so one of them is like, "oh, put on a proper smile, tom." [ laughter ] because he is trying to take a a photo and i'm like -- you know like i'm trying to be artful dodger, right? >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah. you're the actor in the family. >> yeah. my favorite one is he would always say, "hands off your penis, tom." [ laughter ] not a joke! not a joke! [ cheers and applause ] no, no, no. see, your, there -- >> jimmy: we didn't think it was a joke. hands off your -- >> hands off your penis because, and they are applauding because they are pro-masturbation and so am i but i wasn't doing the deed. [ laughter ] i wasn't walking around like this kid, i wasn't just him masturbating. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no.
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>> what a little masturbator. i wasn't. i wasn't. >> jimmy: who would ever say that? >> i wasn't doing that. i was just -- have you seen sometimes little boys they just pinch it. they are just holding it. [ laughter ] i'm serious. i have seen it. i have seen it now as an adult. i've seen a little boy do that. and i'm like, "you and me, you and me." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, you can't do that though. >> no i don't do that. i do it silent i go, hmmm. and if he gets it that's great and if not he goes, "mom, that man is looking at me." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, thomas middleditch right here. [ cheers and applause ] "silicon valley" airs sundays at 10:00 pm on hbo! josh groban performs for us after the break! very good, stick around everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a multi-platinum recording artist who has sold over 30 million records worldwide. wow. here to perform -- oh, get ready. this is so good. here to perform "anthem" off his new album "stages," give it up for josh groban! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪ no man no madness though their sad power may prevail ♪ ♪ can possess conquer my country's heart they rise to fail ♪ ♪ she is eternal long before nations' lines were drawn ♪ ♪ when no flags flew when no armies stood
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my land was born ♪ ♪ and you ask me why i love her through wars death and despair ♪ ♪ she is the constant we who don't care ♪ ♪ and you wonder will i leave her but how ♪ ♪ i cross over borders but i'm still there now ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ how can i leave her where would i start let man's petty nations tear themselves apart ♪ ♪ my land's only borders lie around my heart ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, buddy! that is how you do it right there! josh groban! catch him on tour this fall! we'll be right back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to kristen wiig, thomas middleditch, josh groban once again, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there from philadelphia! stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪


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