tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC June 11, 2015 12:36am-1:38am EDT
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- taran killam from nbc's "hannibal", actor hugh dancy music from kacey musgraves featuring the 8g band with jon theodore. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, here he is, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how we all doing tonight? everybody good? [ cheers and applause ] everybody feeling good? let get started with some news. let's get started with some
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presidential hopefuls. so many presidential hopefuls these days. presidential hopeful ted cruz said this week that if he's elected, if he's elected, he'll roll back president obama's executive orders on immigration. though i think, i think if ted cruz is elected, he should look into whatever killed all the other candidates. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's very scary. [ light laughter ] who here is on instagram? anybody here on instagram? [ cheers and applause ] we have company. you all have company. hillary clinton joined instagram this afternoon. meanwhile her -- [ laughter ] are you like, "it's over now?" oh, instagram's over now. hillary clinton joined instagram this afternoon. meanwhile, her democratic opponent bernie sanders joined telegram.
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[ laughter and applause ] so look at that. no more pony express for bernie sanders! [ light laughter ] that's right, hillary clinton joined instagram this afternoon and somehow, this is true, somehow she's already deleted thousands of photos. [ laughter ] [ applause ] joined this afternoon. two accounts. she had two different instagram accounts, that's how it works. a new york ice cream parlor, this is exciting ice cream news. a new york ice cream parlor -- i mean, all ice cream news is all exciting. unless it's we're out of ice cream. [ laughter ] a new york ice cream parlor has unveiled kanye west inspired ice cream treats in honor of his 38th birthday. if you want one, just barge to the front of the line. [ laughter ] you don't even have to say -- they'll know you're there for the kanye. apple has announced that the iphone software update will feature an app that can track
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how often people have sex. finally. [ laughter ] an app to keep track of the one thing you don't need an app to keep track of. did i have sex last night? i did not. i did not. [ laughter and applause ] i do not think that i did. seems like this app is telling me i'm on some sort of historic streak. i got a badge. [ laughter ] pizza hut has announced that starting next week it will begin offering a pizza with 28 hot dogs baked into the crust. the announcement was made by pizza hut's new ceo, a bag of marijuana. [ laughter ] [ applause ] he's doing a great job. he's doing a great job.
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got to be tiny hot dogs, right? 28 hot dogs? it's got to be really little ones. >> the little pigs in a blanket hot dogs. >> seth: yeah. why can't they just say four regular hot dogs? why they gotta -- the hot dog's the thing. i don't know if i'm going to be blown away by the number of hot dogs, you know what i'm saying? >> yeah. >> seth: i don't why i'm talking to you about it, you're not the guy. you're not the guy in charge of pizza hut. >> i'll let you know tomorrow. >> seth: all right, good. do a little more research on these jokes. i want to have the back up story. give me the back story of why there's 28 instead of four. [ light laughter ] a new study claims -- and we get real excited about new studies here, guys. everyday, when a new study comes out, we just want to drill down and find out what's in there. if everything goes well, we'll give you a joke. [ laughter ] a new study claims that women tend to let handsome men off the hook for things more easily, which is why i'm constantly apologizing. [ laughter and applause ] did i? no, i did not.
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i did not have sex last night. i knew it was one or the other. thank you, app. a man in florida called a plumber to unclog his toilet earlier this week, only to learn that a live iguana was the cause of the blockage. said the man, "i don't even remember eating a live iguana." [ laughter and applause ] how did that? last time i order the set menu. a new study -- oh, my god, second new study in the same day. they were going crazy at study tech last night. a new study claims that poor posture caused by texting is becoming an epidemic. i'm not sure if i've been affected, but i have a hunch. [ light laughter ] [ audience groans ] they didn't like that joke. [ laughter ]
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did you guys get it, though? i'm worried you didn't get it. [ laughter ] let's check in, we'll check in at all the commercial breaks, because i feel like over the course of the evening more of you will come to the side. a new study -- wow, three new studies! what a night! wow, what a night! [ cheers and applause ] what a night, three new studies! oh, boy, oh boy, you picked a good one. woo-hoo. a new study has found that chimpanzees in western africa -- chimpanzees in western africa will drink wine if given the opportunity. the discovery was made while watching "real housechimps of nigeria." [ laughter and applause ] the minute that picture was over, there was a scene. flipped that tree over. a new "fifty shades of grey" book -- who read the "fifty shades of grey" book? did anybody here read 'em? [ scattered applause ] all right, yeah. own it, own it, own it.
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a new "fifty shades of grey" book is coming out that tells the story from a male perspective. tells the same story from a male perspective. three pages of sex and the rest is sleeping. [ laughter ] not a page turner. and finally, facebook's messenger app now has a game where users can challenge their friends to guess certain words based on drawings. here's a hint. the answer is "penis." [ laughter ] that's what they drew. ladies and gentlemen, this is your 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: woo-hoo! three! three new studies, three new studies in one day. woo! you guys still getting it done on the drums for us. he's been here last week.
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he's been here this week. jon theodore everybody, give it up for jon theodore. [ cheers and applause ] from "queens of the stone age." we're so happy to have you here. thank you, jon. and thank you, the rest of the 8g band, for being here every single night, you guys are the best. full appreciation. [ cheers and applause ] full appreciation for the 8g band. before we move on, do you guys -- do you guys read the news? who here reads the news? [ applause ] well, i found, and i don't know if you do this too, but a lot of times when i'm reading the news, i'll just read the headline and the first couple of paragraphs of an article. i'll get the gist i'll just move on to the next one. you know? because who has time? but the truth is there's really valuable information if you read the end of an article. [ light laughter ] sometimes, that's where the best information is. let me show you what i'm talking about in a segment we call "last line of the news story." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: first up in election news -- scott walker backs constitutional amendment allowing states to ban same-sex
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marriage. so, the top few paragraphs talk about how potential republican presidential nominee scott walker would support an amendment banning the supreme court from granting nationwide marriage equality. let's check out the last line of the news story. political pundits and beltway observers say the move could walker the frontrunner for the presidential election of 1956. [ laughter ] very helpful. go to the end -- nuggets. that's where the nuggets live. [ light laughter ] next up, we have some entertainment news. kanye west, kim kardashian expecting second child. top of the news story explains kim kardashian's pregnancy was revealed during the finale of "keeping up with the kardashians ." let's see what we would have learned if we would have read all the way to the end. when reached for comments, kardashian's obstetrician dr. miles herman said thus far everything looks normal. it's a perfectly healthy yetus. [ laughter ] [ applause ] this is a doctor. a doctor called it a "yetus" then it's okay, fine. next up, here is some tech news. everybody loves some tech news.
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microsoft windows 10 finally has a release date, july 29th. top paragraphs give the release date for windows 10 and talk about how it has been several years since the last windows came out. let's go down to the last line of the news story. what's new in windows 10? "well, we added a new color to microsoft paint," said microsoft ceo satya nadella, "also the paper clip guy looks a little different. he blinks better." [ laughter ] satya then stared at the ground for a full thirty seconds and whispered "god, help us." [ laughter ] best part. that's the best part. pretty good part. not good at all. best part. turning to movie news, "jaws" resurfaces in theaters for 40th anniversary. many movie theaters will be showing "jaws" this weekend to celebrate its 40th anniversary. let's go down to the last line of the news story. "becoming that shark was by far the hardest role of my career," said academy award winning actor daniel day lewis. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i didn't know. did you know? i didn't know. did you know?
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i didn't know. did you know? i didn't know. because it was right there, it was a nugget. turning to business news, mcdonald's sales slump continues in may. so apparently key sales measurements dipped in may for mcdonald's with weakness in the u.s. and some overseas markets. let's go to the last line of the news story. sources confirm that no one is more scared than ronald mcdonald who said, "i can't go back to doing birthday parties, man." i just can't." good to know. feel bad for him. he has some sympathy now. in more politics news, i thought this story was interesting. lincoln chafee: go bold, go metric. democratic presidential nominee lincoln chafee says he wants the us to switch to the metric system to show symbolic integration in internationalism. but let's check out the last line of the news story. when pressed further by reporters, chafee finally just threw up his hands and said, "fine, i want to switch to metric because 10.16 centimeters sounds a lot better than
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4 inches." [ laughter ] nuggets. you dig down, that's where the gold is. they don't put the gold up top. that's good, that's good. finally turning to science news, seven new species of miniature frogs discovered. researchers apparently found seven new species of miniture frogs in the atlantic rain forest of brazil, let's go down to the bottom of the news story. before presenting the new amphibians to the press, an excited researcher explained that one of the frogs has the ability to sing and dance while wearing a top hat and cane. the researcher than removed the frog from its box, put it in front of the various media present and instead of singing the frog did this -- [ ribbit ] [ laughter ] this has been the last line, the best line, of the news story. [ cheers and applause ] we have a wonderful show for you tonight with some wonderful guests. our first guest is a good friend of mine, you know him from "snl."
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also this summer, he's starring in an off-center production of "little shop of horrors," taran killam is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] also i'm very happy -- we have different mugs. we have different nbc affiliate mugs every night. based on the nbc -- and this is our guam station today. and the guam station is kuam, and i just think that's great. in guam, you watch kuam i guess. [ light laughter ] not in new york. it's not "qyork." here's to you, kuam. [ applause ] and i did just realize that. and it blew my mind. so i wanted to share it with you. i get it, it blew your mind less, but you don't look at affiliate mugs all the time. for me, this is a big deal. from the nbc series "hannibal", hugh dancy will be joining us. do we have any country music fans here tonight? because we have grammy winning
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country artist kacey musgraves, she'll be joining us. we'll be right back with taran killam. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ only sears brings you more selection with all top ten appliance brands. ♪ like kenmore, the most awarded brand in the industry. and when life happens, more peace of mind with service that's number one nationwide. that's more performance, from the #1 appliance store. start your search at sears. we're looking for ones who wanty to take courses developed with input from leading companies. so they can graduate career-ready. if you're that kind of student, you're our kind of different. devry university. different. on purpose.
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there are 28 mini hot dogs. and again, i apologize that i didn't know that when i told the joke. you deserve better from me. so 28 mini hot dogs in the crust. and if you want to order it, it's called "the choking hazzard." [ laughter ] [ applause ] you guys, our first guest just finished his fifth season as a cast member on "saturday night live." he's also staring in the encores off-center production of "little shop of horrors" at new york city center on july 1st and 2nd. please welcome back to the show my good friend, taran killam [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: hi, buddy. >> hello my friend. >> seth: it's always such a delight to see my "snl" friends in the summer, when the look happy and healthy. >> our brain has taken shape again. yeah. >> seth: you look well rested. you've spent time with your family. >> i have, like, four solid sketch ideas now, which will be
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shot down the first day back on the job. right now i'm riding high. >> seth: and you go, "these are wonderful. these are beautiful flowers." >> why couldn't i have thought of this a month ago? >> seth: you'll bring them in in september and they'll feel rotted and infested. >> what was i thinking? "train food guy"? that doesn't even make sense. [ light laughter ] >> seth: in the hotness of june, you're like "train food guy." it's going to be on t-shirts. [ laughter ] this is very exciting. so, explain this -- "little shop of horrors." >> yes. >> seth: but only two-day performance. >> correct, yeah. we rehearse for about a week and a half. which have not begun yet. then, we do two live performances. i get to play the dentist. >> seth: which is the -- [ cheers and applause ] steve martin from the movie. >> steve martin from the movie. give it up. >> seth: best part. best part. >> so fun. two songs and, spoiler alert, you know, eaten by intermission. so that's nice. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah, there you go. so you're out. you're out the door. >> i'm just, you know, thinking of other fun ideas. backstage theater food guy! [ light laughter ] >> seth: great -- the rest of the cast is really exciting. >> jake gyllenhaal is playing
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seymour. [ cheers ] >> seth: so exciting. >> freaking dream boat. [ light laughter ] go see "southpaw." >> seth: i always said he's a young rick moranis. [ laughter ] >> exactly. you can draw direct comparison. an easier direct comparison is ellen green played audrey in the movie. she's playing ellen -- or she's playing audrey in our production as well. >> seth: that's so fun. >> ellen green, who did the original audrey. yeah. [ applause ] >> seth: that's really exciting. >> it is. yeah. >> seth: you were into musicals. >> i was all about 'em. >> seth: still into musicals. >> love them. >> seth: you did some of the big ones back in your school days. >> sure. sure, sure. >> seth: you did "evita," right? >> i did "evita." i was che. obviously. >> seth: real good. >> che guevara. and introducing taran killam as revolutionary -- >> seth: did you -- >> che guevara. >> seth: so i grew up in new hampshire and we had some ethnicity problems with casting in our shows. >> great. >> seth: as evidence by the fact that my brother, who is actually even a little bit whiter than me, played leroy in "fame." [ laughter ] >> great. fantastic.
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>> seth: and speaking of musicals and your brother, he wrote a musical episode of "the awesomes." >> seth: yes. >> for season three that's coming up. >> seth: so you got to do some singing there. >> i love it, yeah. any opportunity. >> seth: is this high school where you were doing the most musicals? >> it started real strong in middle school. winthrop, "music man"; joseph, "joseph." >> seth: wow. >> yeah. then scarecrow, "wizard of oz." and then, freshman year, things fell apart. >> seth: oh no. >> a little bit. a little bit. i was about 98 pounds, 4'11." >> seth: sure. >> and really wanted to fit in with the jocks. >> seth: oh, no. >> decided that that was my crew. >> seth: so you raced away from your starring rolls on musicals. >> nothing is guaranteed in the world of the theater, as we know. >> seth: sure. [ laughter ] whereas there's no steadier paycheck than professional athletes. >> exactly. especially when you're about the build of an actress that would play "annie." >> seth: gotcha. >> so i abstained from
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auditioning from the musical, which was an original that reno hollar, who was a musician and also our world history teacher -- many hats. >> seth: wait, so your world history teacher wrote the school musical? >> wrote and original musical called "lovers on canvas," about a painter who lives in paris, but has magical paint. he draws the girl of his dreams and she comes to life at night. and all his paintings come to life. it was actually really fun had i gotten the role of the painter. >> seth: that seems like the big part. >> trying out for the baseball team, which again, spoiler alert, i did not make. [ light laughter ] >> seth: okay. >> i think it might have had something to do with not having the arm strength to make the cutoff man from left field. >> seth: oh, yeah. that's tough. >> i think that's where -- >> seth: because the cutoff man is already the stop gap for someone with a bad arm. >> that's the cheat. i didn't meet the cheat. >> seth: we looked at the roster, we don't have room for two cutoff men. [ laughter ] >> maybe if third had covered?
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i was a crazy good strategist. they missed out. but, because i didn't make the team and i hadn't audition for the play, reno was nice enough to give me a couple of parts. but the first was -- because art comes to life -- the person who opens the show is "the thinker." the statue "the thinker." >> seth: sure, rodin's thing. >> yes. which is made of green marble. so i went from hopes of being star baseball player on my high school baseball team to wearing a speedo covered in green paint, singing in my then 13-year-old falsetto boy voice. [ laughter ] i was a little emasculated. >> seth: yeah. i feel like the theater community was punishing you. i think that thought well, if you thought you'd be a baseball player, why don't you come on our show and just think about it. [ laughter ] think about your choices. >> yeah. think about what you've done. [ applause ] >> seth: your fifth season on "snl."
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they celebrated it with this crazy show. >> for me! >> seth: yeah. >> it was so nice of them. >> seth: they brought everybody back. >> tom hanks showed up! [ light laughter ] such a good guy. yeah, this season was insane. >> seth: did the season have the weight of the "snl" 40th? did you feel it? was the season -- was it more like a normal "snl" season after that? >> no. no, i feel like there was a buzz afterwards. just because it's amazing -- like, certainly there was more appreciation, because everybody came back for the 40th and all my heros were there. not just comedy heroes. yourself at the top of the list, obviously. [ laughter ] and then will ferrell and jim carrey. >> seth: sure, that's the order i have it in. that's the order i have it in! >> good, good good. but also, like, george lucas is in the audience, and steven spielberg. anybody who has had any effect on my life culturally was in the room. so, got to work with jim carey again, who is a hero of mine. and working with michael keaton. >> seth: yeah. micheal keaton i know you love. huge "batman" fan.
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>> yes. >> seth: you do a great michael keaton. give us a little taste. just a little taste. >> yeah, sure. you wanna taste? here's your taste. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: really good. i remember -- i didn't think there was such a thing as a michael keaton. and i remember jost came into my office one night and goes, "taran has a real good michael keaton." and there's that thing when somebody has a new impression everybody runs to their office, and goes, "yeah." [ laughter ] you, jim carrey -- huge jim carrey fan. and you, back in the day, you did some jim carrey costumes for halloween. we have some photos. >> oh, great, great, great. yeah i've worked with jim. i call him jim now. three times. >> seth: so this is a halloween costume, and that is -- [ audience aws ] that's you as the mask. >> nailed it. killed it. >> seth: we were saying, don't print this ever in black and white. cause this looks really -- [ laughter ] >> some bad version of "the jazz singer." >> seth: what were you doing? >> whoa! >> seth: you need the yellow and the green to play in this photo.
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then you also dressed up as jim carrey next year for the riddler, yes? >> i was jim carrey consecutive years. i think even before "the mask," it was the "ace ventura" year. >> seth: wow. >> and then the year after this was the riddler from "batman forever." i decided to cut my hair into a flat top for just halloween. >> seth: wow. >> to really look like the riddler. i remember the day after i got the haircut, i showed up at school and at morning break, robby blauer walked up to me and was like, "hey, did you get your haircut to look like jim carrey in the 'batman' movie, the riddle?" and i was like, "yeah." and he said "okay, cool." then i watched him walk across the quad to a group of guys, talk, and them all erupt into laughter. [ laughter ] and i was like, "is this not cool?" [ laughter ] >> seth: you did one of my favorite things, you did on the show this year.
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you did a lot of things i love. but, blazer was great. >> yeah, thank you. that's zach and tim and che. >> seth: so blazer you played -- it's sort of an '80s looking cop. >> yeah, yeah yeah. sort of touches on "night rider" and a little "magnum pi." and swagger, i'd say. >> seth: you were sort of running around, jumping on rooftops in new york city. very action oriented. you took an actual fall. >> yes. yes, yes, yes. yes. i was literally in my element in heaven that zach and tim and che wrote me this part where i could fly over hoods of cars and hurdle buildings -- walls of buildings. i was killing it all day. and then towards the end of the afternoon, they had me jumping over little -- i would say, like, three to four foot walls between buildings. we did three takes. nailed it. then they're like -- the cinematographer, i would land and do a somersault and lower my
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sunglasses. and alex, the cinematographer, is like, "oh, i didn't move the camera. can you do it one more time?" and i was like, "can i do it one more time? watch this!" [ laughter ] just at that last hurdle, clipped my heel, and then i just ate turf. just ate it. and they used it in the video. >> seth: that's the thing. did you know they were going to use it? [ laughter ] >> here's what happened. so, i'm doing my best cool guy, hurdle jump. clip, fall. the whole clip will show that i do recover and still somersault, and show the glasses. but as soon as i did that and they go "cut," i go "you have to use that. please use that clip." because it's not the first time it happened to me. i'm the king of falling on the last take, the other time was chalize theron. we were doing "who's afraid of virginia wolf" parody, where we were drinking. and i did like three kegs stands. the last show is me doing a keg stand. they were like, "can you do one more?" i was like, "gus, yeah, i've been doing it all day." [ laughter ] and my arms knew this better than i.
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so literally, i'm holding and i'm like halfway through the take, i'm like "oh, no. oh, god." and charlize theron, the second most beautiful girl in the word, is to my right. and i crumble and fall right on top of her head. >> seth: oh, no. >> i fall right onto her face, which i think is very important to her. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's the moneymaker. >> it's the moneymaker. so literally there's been like two season back to back -- and they ended that clip with that too. >> seth: we have the -- >> you should show that. >> seth: i want to show the blazer real quick to see how great it is that they used it. >> yeah. ♪ >> blazer. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: oh, no! taran killam, everybody. i can't believe he was bad at sports. check out "little shop of horrors" at new york city center july 1st and 2nd. look for "underdogs" in select
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>> hello, dr. lecter. >> hello will. >> seth: please welcome hugh dancy. ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> seth: so lovely to have you here. >> thank you for having me. >> seth: i'm so excited "hannibal" is back on the air. but before we get to that, i saw you were at the pacquiao-mayweather fight in las vegas. >> i was, yes. >> seth: are you a boxing fan? is that -- >> i had never seen a boxing match before. i knew what boxing was. >> seth: ok, well that's good. that helps. >> yeah. but what are those two men doing to each other? >> seth: that would be, of all the sports, cause it's not like cricket. if you hurt someone in boxing -- cricket, how does it work? >> just wait and you'll find out. unlike cricket. >> seth: yeah.
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>> yeah, it was amazing. i had also not been to vegas before. >> seth: you had never been to las vegas? >> no. >> seth: and you decided when should we go? let's go when everyone's there. [ laughter ] >> well, yeah. in the sense, if you want the vegas experience, kind of concentrated. it was crazy. it was like that experience on steroids. >> seth: yeah, i imagine. >> not, i'm not, yeah. >> seth: it's all right. you meant exactly. that's so weird to actually say it. >> yeah. hey guys, it's like -- [ laughter ] >> seth: you -- so "hannibal" is back on the air. you are married to the very lovely, the talented claire danes from "homeland." >> yep. >> seth: she's been in a lot of things. [ cheers and applause ] but i feel like your two characters might be the two characters on television that go through the most. so you guys go through the ringer constantly. >> yeah. >> seth: you're both full messes. [ laughter ] both emotionally, psychologically. i mean just -- as actors i feel like you must have a go through so much. who do you think has it worse? you or claire? >> well, she got electrocuted at
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the end of her first season. i got eviscerated at the end of mine. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> my second season. but i don't know. i mean she's not here. >> seth: yeah, i feel like this is the time -- >> everything i do is done in toronto during the winter. so i feel like i win that competition. >> seth: yeah, you do. so she gets to kind of go all the way around the world. >> yes, basically warm. >> seth: the show is very graphic. it's very gruesome. it's also incredibly beautifully shot. i would argue it's the best cinematography of any show on television. and some of the things that are the most beautiful are the murders themselves. they're equal parts gruesome. i should say, if your kids are up, why are they up? [ laughter ] it's way too late for them. but, so these are actually some of the -- so this is a guy who -- that they replaced his head with a cello. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah? >> well, actually, they just tilted the head back and put the cello down here. >> seth: right, of course. my way would be a waste of time. [ laughter ] here's a judge. i get the sense that whoever this killer didn't think this
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guy was a good judge. he's like triumphant, and the top of the head's off. >> yeah. >> seth: brain out? >> i think he's holding the brain. >> seth: oh, holding the brain. >> the brain is in the scale there. >> seth: i always think these killers -- >> there's a logic. >> seth: they kill somebody and they're like, "how much time do we have until somebody shows up?" "eight days. [ laughter ] we have eight days until someone's in this room again." this is, now -- this is one of those ones where i can't believe it's on television. but, these are two murder victims. their skin is -- are wings. angel wings. >> yes. >> seth: and now, how -- do they have to deal with the censors on them? >> actually, yes. there's standards and practices. >> seth: right. >> the people who tell us what we can and what we can't do. obviously, we're in dialogue with them quite a lot. [ laughter ] and they, they had a look at this, once it had been shot and said, "oh that, that won't do." [ laughter ] is it the splayed skin? no, no, no. is that a pool of blood on the floor? no, well, it's the butt crack. >> seth: really? [ laughter ] >> yeah. and so there was a conversation where we can't really put on underpants, too late for that. and eventually they, "could you digitally add more blood?"
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and that was the answer. >> seth: oh really? >> yes. >> seth: oh that's the classic -- >> that's, that's -- >> seth: it's called blooding -- blooding the crack. [ laughter ] could you bloody crack? i imagine there's tons of fake blood on the show. does it vary, are there different kinds of blood for different kinds of -- >> there's almost an infinite amount of different types of blood. all the departments have blood. so the costume department has their blood. and the makeup department has their blood. and the prosthetics, there's eye blood and there's mouth blood. and basically what happens is, everybody stands around and argues about whose blood they should use. and it's usually toronto in the winter. as i said. and then they all say, oh what the hell, and they mix it all in the bucket, and then they pour it on me. [ laughter ] >> seth: so anyway, you lose. whatever blood it is. >> yeah. >> seth: there's also, because of course we're dealing with hannibal lecter here. so there's not just killing but there's also the eating of people. there's some good ole cannibalism. and -- [ laughter ] you have a culinary expert on the show?
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>> we do. there's a whole kind of chain of command, yeah. >> seth: who would, and he does what? [ laughter ] >> so, bryan fuller, who is our show runner and writer, would decide like, you know i need what if i wanted somebody to eat some lungs in this episode? which happened in the first season in fact. the chef would say you might consider pan frying it with xyz and by the way the lungs, when they're done, might whistle. so you might take that into consideration. >> seth: wow. now was that guy strapped to a board and on work release from a prison? [ laughter ] >> that guy loves his job. >> seth: yeah. that's one of those guys where you wish maybe he loved it a little less. [ laughter ] i also thought of some other body parts when i was home last night. do you have a favorite death in the history of the show? >> i, there's so many. there was -- [ laughter ] there really are so many. >> seth: so many. >> in the second season there was a body. there was a horse.
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the body of a horse that was cut open and a human body kind of slithered out of that horse. when they did the autopsy on the human, a live bird emerged from the inside of the cadaver. which was, as you said, quite beautiful. >> seth: that's a really -- a really weird turdunkin. i feel like that's what you just described. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> look, this doesn't surprise me at all, but that's what they call it in the writers' room. >> seth: really? on that set, obviously so gruesome, but there must be a lightness to it. that's the only i would imagine to go about it. >> it's hysterical. >> seth: yeah. >> i mean, constantly. no, but it is. and anybody will tell you in a way the darker the material, the subject matter, the more you're gonna have a light tone on set. but our show is, i mean this is much like a fairy tale as it is -- >> seth: yes. >> it's not naturalistic. you know. >> seth: right. >> if you believe this show, then you have a problem. [ laughter ] and as a result, it's not like -- we don't go to work and have to grapple with that.
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it's fun. >> seth: it's fun to watch as well. it's a wonderful show. i'm so glad it's back on. give it up, everybody, for hugh dancy. [ cheers and applause ] "hannibal" airs thursday nights an 10pm on nbc. we'll be right back with more "late night." this is really fun. ♪ a "win-win," right? what about a "win-win-win"? pick up the limited edition metallic droid turbo by motorola. water-repellent. up to 48-hour battery life and ballistic nylon back. that's your first "win." plus, it's only on verizon. the #1 network. there's your next "win." now for final "win." get $250 when you trade in any smartphone. and get 10 gigs of data for $80 a month and $15 per line. the win-win-win. a new way to save without settling. only on verizon. ♪ ♪
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>> seth: welcome back, everybody. here at "late night," obviously we have a beautiful studio and a beautiful studio like this is not cheap. so, to pay for it, we took on some new sponsors. ones, that if i'm being honest, we're not proud of. look, we have bills we need to pay, so we took their money. because we did, now i have to mention them on air. so, apologies in advance. tonight, "late night" is brought to you by uncle chuckie's loose pills. [ laughter ] is it a xanax? is it a viagra? wait and see with uncle chuckie's loose pills. [ applause ] we're also brought to you by convincing funeral notes. want to ditch school without getting in trouble? let us write a note so convincing that you'll be granted a three-day leave of absence or your money back. notes so great, you'll die. or rather, your poor old aunt will. wink. [ laughter ] glam tots baby heels. some ladies never learn to walk in heels. don't let that happen to your baby. start them early with glam tots baby heels. [ applause ] "late night" is also brought to you by x-rays of strangers. who is it? who knows. but look, they have a weird
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looking kidney. x-rays of strangers. next up, the wrong charger. running low on battery? reach for the wrong charger and give yourself the sensation of "oh, thank god. oh, damn it." the wrong charger. available everywhere you don't need it, especially airports. hills brothers coffee can filled with old screws. [ light laughter ] no basement would be complete without one. not sure what to get your dad for his birthday? get him hills brothers coffee can filled with old screws. it'll remind him of his dad. [ applause ] we're also sponsored by the croissant patch. hooked on croissants? slowly and safely wean yourself off with the croissant patch. [ light laughter ] we're also sponsored by the letter "r" in "croissants." seth meyers won't say it, because his mother was a french teacher, but you're welcome to it. if you want your writers to stop calling you a stuck up dickhead, put the "r" back in "croissant." we're also sponsored by someone else's old retainer.
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[ light laughter ] [ audience groans ] if you need a retainer, don't wait for dentist to make you one. just try your luck with someone else's old retainer. and if it doesn't fit, just jam it. don't forget about all the way closed pistachios. you know those pistachios you get that are all the way closed? here's a whole bag of 'em. all the way closed pistachios. get to work. we also have disgraced jersey. current jerseys include ray rice, adrian peterson, and aaron hernandez. they're dis-grrrraced! [ laughter ] is that about as good as you thought that joke would go, michelle? yeah? all right, good. i'm glad you fought for it. [ laughter ] lastly, "late night" is brought to you by short sleeve cuff links. let them know what your version of dressed up is with short sleeve cuff links. [ light laughter ] that's the kind of guy that puts an "r" in "croissant." those have been our terrible sponsors. we'll be right back after a message from our sponsors we actually like. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my next guest is a two-time grammy award winner who will release her highly anticipated sophomore album "pageant material," on june 23rd. performing "family is family" for the first time on television, please welcome, kacey musgraves. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ they're there for your worst year they give you your first beer ♪ ♪ when you get your heart broke they're there for your worst year ♪ ♪ don't get you at all but your apple don't fall too far from 'em they own too much wicker ♪ ♪ and drink too much liquor you'd wash your hands of them but blood's ♪ ♪ always thicker you might look just like 'em that don't mean ♪ ♪ you like 'em but you love 'em
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family is family in church or in prison ♪ ♪ you get what you get and you don't get to pick 'em they might smoke ♪ ♪ like chimneys but give you their kidneys yeah friends ♪ ♪ come in handy but family is family ♪ ♪ ♪ they're there when you're married ♪ ♪ divorced and remarried you fall out of touch but then someone get's buried ♪ ♪ you're right back together like no time has ever gone by can't live with ♪ ♪ or without 'em you might talk about 'em but if someone else does well then you'll ♪ ♪ knock 'em out cause when it's all said and done they're the only ones that you got ♪ ♪ family is funny in church or in prison you get what you get and you don't get to ♪
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♪ pick them they might smoke like chimneys but give you their kidneys ♪ ♪ yeah friends come in handy but family is family ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah family is corny they'll ask you for money even though they know you ain't got no money ♪ ♪ they show up at christmas get up in your business they might not be fancy but family is family ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ you might look just them that don't mean you like 'em but you love 'em ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: wonderful. kacey musgraves. pre-order "pageant material" now. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]
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i'm whoopi goldberg and new york is my home. there's no place like it in the world, and no better place to lean about the people who shaped who we are today. hear about the lives of slaves in colonial new york and about the fight to abolish slavery. pick a stop on the underground railroad and visit the home and grave of one of new york's most controversial citizens. a journey in new york is a journey through history. plan you next trip at iloveny.com/summer. there's something for everyone.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to taran killam, hugh dancy, kacey musgraves, everybody. t-mobile, jon theodore, and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: well, good evening. and welcome to "last call" from 97.1 amp radio. tonight, salem star janet montgomery is gonna be
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