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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  April 21, 2017 11:34pm-12:38am EDT

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philadelphia to the city's park system. it's one of many planned improvements. love to see those changes and progress. love to see the rain move through too. >> it's not going the be terrible tomorrow and dry in the second half of the weekend. but we are eyeing a major warmup by next thursday for the nfl draft. we are going to see a mix of sun and clouds and temperatures in the 80s. >> 80s on thursday and friday. that's nbc 10 news at 11:00. thanks for watching. have a great weekend, everybody. good night. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- salma hayek, mike birbiglia, musical guests clean bandit and zara larsson,
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: ow! yeah! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! oh! oh! oh! whoo! [ audience chats whoo ] whoo! [ audience chats whoo ] ow! [ audience chats ow ] ee! [ audience chats ee ] whoo! [ audience chats whoo ] hey-oh!
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[ audience chats hey-oh ] hey! [ audience chats hey ] ho! ♪ hip hop horray ho hey ho hip hop horray ♪ ♪ we're starting off way hot. we came out real hot, real hot. welcome, everybody. thank you. welcome to "the tonight show," baby! >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is it! thank you for being here. thank you for watching. hey, guys, tomorrow is earth day. it is earth day tomorrow, you guys. that's a big -- big day. [ cheers and applause ] it's the one holiday that's not sponsored by the greeting card companies, so that's a good thing. [ applause ] actually, there's lots to celebrate. i want to say happy birthday to queen elizabeth. today she turned 91 years old. [ cheers and applause ] 91, wow! [ cheers and applause ] when asked if she was going to celebrate, the queen said, "i did all my celebrating on 4/20." and you go, "well, that's" -- [ cheers and applause ] "that's cool." speaking of 4/20, i read that a a weed-focused digital video
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channel is launching this year called "420tv." [ light laughter ] people are waiting to see how it will do it against its main competitor, your screen saver. [ laughter and applause ] "it's fantastic." let's get to some news here. some documents just came out that show which companies gave money to trump's inauguration, and it turns out ups was one of the biggest donors. ups. people were like, "great. now, can you teach him how to deliver?" and you go, "oh, well, that" -- [ laughter and applause ] listen to this. a new article claims that people that work for trump are loyal to him in the media, but they actually whisper about him behind his back all the time. a few of them have even been caught doing it on camera. here, take a look at this. >> nation's capital -- [ whispering ] >> trump sucks. >> has reaped the rewards of government. [ whispering ] >> this guy sucks. trump sucks big time. >> while the people have -- the costs. [ whispering ] >> come with me if you think trump sucks. >> yeah, oh, yeah. let's go. >> hey, trump sucks. >> trump sucks. >> trump sucks. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: i mean, they could
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have been more discreet about that. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: that was the inauguration, too, you'd think. >> jimmy: get this, you guys. i read about a new reality dating show where people swap phones before meeting each other. [ audience oohs ] the way it works is the person who gets a better phone never comes back. [ laughter and applause ] they go, "i got a cool -- i got a samsung galaxy." just in time for summer, coca-cola announced it is putting first and last names on their bottles for their "share a coke" campaign. [ light laughter ] because nothing says sharing like writing your full name on something. [ applause ] it's like, "this is ron johnson. but i'll share, i guess." and finally, speaking of new beverages, starbucks just launched a new unicorn frappuccino. [ cheers ] unicorn frappuccino, it's made with pink powder, mango syrup, and a sour blue drizzle. look at this thing. yeah. i guess now you won't need a a snapchat filter to throw up a a rainbow. [ laughter ] there you go. we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, maybelline. hey, guys. welcome to the show. we have a fun one tonight. before we started, i wanted to show this thing. i saw something cool this morning. there's this elementary school in washington, d.c. called fields road elementary, okay? and they were having a a read-a-thon fundraiser to help raise money for their school. but they had a very interesting way to get people to donate. they promised that if they reached their goal the principal and vice principal would face-off in a a "tonight show"-inspired game of egg russian roulette. [ light laughter ] >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: so these principals had to crack eggs over their heads in front of the whole school with all the kids watching. and we got a hold of the clip. take a look at this. >> here we go! [ cheers ]
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>> all right! it's miss ricca's turn! >> yeah. >> you can do it, miss ricca! [ cheers ] [ laughter ] >> there she goes! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: there we go. that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] that's fun for the kids, right? >> steve: awe. >> jimmy: it's good to see their principal to do that. how fun was that? well, get this. they raised $13,000. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ also, the read-a-thon to get kids reading, that's a great thing. well, we actually have a a surprise for those guys. our friends over at ready whip, you know, their mission is all about sharing joy, they are going to match the $13,000 donation to your school. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ congratulations on raising $26,000 for your read-a-thon! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i thought that was so cool.
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honored, honored. guys, we have a great show tonight. she stars in the new movie, "how to be a latin lover." the lovely salma hayek is on the show tonight. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're going to catch up with salma, and then we are going head to head in a fun new game called "the ramen challenge." >> steve: ooh! >> jimmy: yeah. plus here to talk about his new comedy tour, one of the funniest dudes out there, mike birbiglia is joining us. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's got a special on netflix. he's got the movie, "don't think twice," which i know you love. you love "don't think" -- >> questlove: i love that film. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. i loved it, too. he's just -- he's just a great guy. and we have great, great music from clean bandit and zara larsson, you guys. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's a fun show. you guys, today's friday, right? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: and that's usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. you know, i check my inbox, i return some e-mails, and of course, i send out "thank you notes." and i was just run --
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[ cheers and applause ] i was running a bit behind. i thought if you guys didn't mind, could i write out my weekly "thank you notes" right now? is that cool with you? [ cheers and applause ] you guys are the best, best in the biz. here we go. james, can i get some "thank you note"-writing music, please? ♪ always in a great -- always in a great mood. [ light laughter ] >> steve: mr. woodchipper. >> jimmy: little chipper is what i call him. he's always in a chipper mood. >> steve: yeah, i keep a a picture of him in my wallet so if i'm sad. >> jimmy: he's the first person i invite when i have a party. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: i got to get james on there? >> jimmy: yeah, i invited him by saying, "can you just -- can you just lurk behind my guests and stair at people?" >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] you got to say, "the party begin until james shows up." >> jimmy: he's fantastic. he's great. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, easter bunny at the white house easter egg roll for looking like you just found out who was elected president. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: "what? what? i can't believe it." ♪
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>> jimmy: thank you, white house easter bunny -- [ light laughter ] for betting me know what would happen if the white rabbit hooked up with mimi from the "drew carey show." [ laughter and applause ] insane way too look at it. >> steve: beautiful. >> jimmy: you can look at it either way. >> steve: yeah. he gets two notes. ♪ [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, getting a a tax refund, for somehow making money that was already mine feel like a prize i won. you go, "wait." [ laughter and applause ] "that's my money." i don't understand that. >> steve: yeah. oh, i see. >> jimmy: "i got $100 back" -- >> steve: "yeah, whoo." >> jimmy: "of my own money." yeah. [ light laughter ] ♪ thank you, starbucks new unicorn frappuccino, for looking like my little pony fell in a blender. oh, well that's -- [ laughter and applause ] they got a name for it. >> steve: that's what i would call it. >> jimmy: unicorn, a better name. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, business cards, for being a fancy way of
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saying, "here's a rectangle with my name on it. want to throw it out?" [ laughter and applause ] "don't mind if i do." ♪ [ light laughter ] thank you, nature valley granola bars. the taste is well worth finding crumbs on my keyboard for the next year. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh, nice! that's a double one. >> jimmy: it's worth it, right? >> steve: that was totally worth it. [ light laughter ] that "crumbs for the next year" was worth that joke. totally. that was totally worth it. >> jimmy: it so worth it, man. >> steve: so worth it. >> jimmy: you should have heard the audience. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: you should have been there. i remember it. it was april 21st, 2017. >> steve: oh, i remember it. oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: that's when i did the crumb joke. >> steve: oh, the crumb joke. they call it -- yeah. >> jimmy: everyone always asks me to tell the story. it is a famous story. [ light laughter ] so did the joke. yeah, yeah, the granola bars -- [ mumbling ] crumbs on your keyboard. >> steve: right.
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>> jimmy: everyone laughed. they thought it was cool. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: then -- >> steve: the topper? wait, there's more after that great joke? >> jimmy: yeah, out of nowhere he pull -- i'm talking about myself in the third person. >> steve: yeah, yeah. you always do that. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: he flips it upside down. >> steve: right? >> jimmy: three crumbs fall out of it. >> steve: what! [ light laughter ] that's nuts! >> jimmy: if you don't have an hdtv -- >> steve: you'd see this stuff. >> jimmy: anyway -- >> steve: back to the crumbs. >> jimmy: i did the crumb joke, and i remember everyone in the audience giving me a standing ovation. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: and that's -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> steve: mr. crumb himself, james thomas fallon. ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh, no! oh, no! take that off! look down below! ♪ oh, my gosh! oh! oh! >> jimmy: it's a great thing. it was a great, memorable day, april 21st, 2017. >> steve: that was nearly 100 years ago. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: do you remember how goofy we looked back then? >> steve: oh, my god. i was so young. >> jimmy: oh, my god. [ light laughter ] >> steve: i hope you have one more. >> jimmy: would anyone like a a crumb? >> steve: oh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you can't even barely see it, and i'm holding it. that's a crumb. [ light laughter ] would you like one? she was like, "this is good." [ cheers and applause ] "you put this in the museum of" -- [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ no, you can't eat it. do you want to eat it? all right, and here we go. >> steve: oh, no. that's the 4/20 guy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, tony. i have no idea what it was, yeah. pencil eraser? here it is, man. forever he'll have -- >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: has the only proof -- >> steve: it's gonna become his step. >> jimmy: that we did that day. >> steve: like stardust. >> jimmy: i just -- i just found another crumb. >> steve: oh, my gosh. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: no, no. i'm good, man. ♪ thank you, united, for saying nobody will be fired over last week's dragging incident. their punishment will be much worse, flying coach on united. and there you go. that's -- >> steve: hey-oh! [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, coachella, for showing me what it would look like if a forever 21 exploded in a a desert. [ laughter and applause ] there you go, everybody. thanks! those are my "thank you notes." we'll be right back with
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salma hayek, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hey, bud. you need some help? no, i'm good. come on, moe. i have to go. (vo) we always trusted our subaru impreza would be there for him someday. ok. that's it. (vo) we just didn't think someday would come so fast. see ya later, moe. (vo) introducing the all-new subaru impreza. the longest-lasting vehicle in its class. more than a car, it's a subaru. ♪ share the joy of real cream... ...with reddi-wip.
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is thno, it's, uh, breyers gelato indulgences. you really wouldn't like it. it's got caramel and crunchy stuff. i like caramel and crunchy stuff. breyers gelato indulgences. it's way beyond ice cream.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is an academy award and golden globe nominated actress, starring in the new film "how to be a latin lover" which opens in theaters friday april 28th. please welcome the very talented, the beautiful, salma hayek! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: oh! [ cheers and applause ] salma! welcome back. >> so happy. i feel like at home here. >> jimmy: yes. good, you should feel at home here. how is everything at home? how is the baby? >> everybody is great. >> jimmy: yeah? >> everybody's great, yeah. thank god. >> jimmy: so, i saw this photo. i wanted to know what's real and what's not real? are you in a hot air balloon, or no? >> i'm in a hot air balloon,
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and that's our neighbor. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you currently now live in a hot air balloon. >> for this moment, yeah. >> jimmy: where was this and how did they serve you breakfast? >> i will tell you, because i wanted to take a special trip with my daughter. just mommy and daughter. and i took her to morocco. >> jimmy: how cool are you? >> which i love. and i'd never been in a hot air balloon, and so we had breakfast in the little basket in the hot air balloon. >> jimmy: but how did you do it? did you set it up? >> i will explain. [ laughter ] it was very impressive. first of all, you see we have all this space on this side. there's like four people like this, you know. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> the like operating and taking out the breakfast and all this. and but you have to block them so you can have this very special moment with your daughter. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a tiny hot air balloon. how are you like just ignore this for a second? like, "i love you. happy birthday." >> and yes, and it was wonderful.
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the only thing that was really concerned about is what happens if you want to go to the bathroom? [ laughter ] all of you that have kids, you know, they always pick the right time. >> jimmy: we're in a hot air balloon, yeah. >> just when we were landing, there some goats and i was really worried that -- we didn't hit the goats. and we almost did, but we didn't kill any goats. [ laughter ] and then we went down and -- petted? petted? you say, petted? >> jimmy: you pet. >> petted? >> jimmy: pet. >> okay, past tense is not petted? [ laughter ] no, "pet." >> jimmy: pet, yeah. you can pet it though, if you want to. [ laughter ] >> we pet the goats, and we were very stinky when we came back. >> jimmy: at least you didn't kill them, that's the best part. [ laughter ] but this is the cutest thing ever. what's her name again? >> valentina. >> jimmy: valentina gosh, she's gorgeous. >> because of valentine's day. >> jimmy: oh, my god, she's gorgeous. now, your husband, how is he doing? >> he's great. >> jimmy: he's french. >> oui. oui, oui, oui, francais. >> jimmy: what language do you guys speak when you're around
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the house? do you speak french or english, or -- >> we have decided that english is like switzerland. it's the neutral territory. >> jimmy: yes, of course. >> so i don't have all the control, he doesn't have all the control. so we speak in english with very bad accents both of us. [ laughter ] i don't know how my daughter between us with no accent. because in the house it's a a disaster. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is he trying to -- is he learning english from you? >> let me tell you -- [ laughter ] the other day -- like a year ago, he said, we tease him about his accent, valentina especially. and he said, "you know what, guys? i'm going to get a dialect coach. i'm going to get rid of the accent before you," who've been living in the states for like 67 years. referring to me. [ laughter ] but he never mentioned it again, so i thought he didn't do it. right? a couple of days ago, i am texting something and i see his phone and there's this message. "hi.
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this is elena. [ light laughter ] and if you want to improve your english, you have to practice. do you want to practice now?" [ laughter ] i'm mexican, you know? this is not going to go well. >> jimmy: yes. don't mess -- >> i was so up -- i was so furious. and i said, "well, obviously she's desperate, you know. so he's not calling her." [ laughter ] should i say something? i said i'm not going to say anything. i trust him. i'm not going to say anything. four hours later we're eating, i'm cool and everything. i'm acting, "hi, baby," everything's okay. i'm eating, and i go, "who the hell is elena? [ laughter ] who the hell is elena?" and he's like, "i don't know, must be one of your girlfriends elena." i go, "i don't know any elena!" >> jimmy: oh, really, you don't know elena? >> and i go, "you tell that elana, that i speak english! you can practice english with me because she sends you a a message." and he goes, "you mean elsa?"
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"elsa, elena, whatever!" and he starts laughing. it's an app. [ laughter and applause ] [ sad trombone ] like siri. her name is elsa. but don't get it because his french is still very strong. his accent. so elsa doesn't work. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go, yeah! don't ever forget that, elsa if you're listening. >> no, maybe she works. she doesn't this time. >> jimmy: maybe she does, we don't know. but elena definitely doesn't. >> elana -- >> jimmy: you're out. [ light laughter ] i want to talk about "how to be a latin lover." i mean, come on. >> you know how to be, come on. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, right. i'm far from it. but man, oh, man, it's a good comedy, super funny. what is his name again, the star? >> eugenio derbez, i know his name is very hard. >> jimmy: he's been on the show. and, gosh he was so funny. was he in the -- instructions -- >> not included. >> jimmy: not included. he was fantastic in that! >> yes, he's so good.
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>> jimmy: and gosh, he's a a funny, funny comedian. >> he's huge in latin america and i'm so happy to be part of this movie that finally the american audience are going to, you know, really discover who he is because he's hilarious. >> jimmy: he's brilliant. >> and lovely. >> jimmy: yeah. explain the plot of this, basically. >> basically he is -- he's my brother and he's a very lazy guy who never wanted to work and just wanted to be rich. and so he decided to go after women of advanced age with a a lot of money when he was young, and he caught one and he was with her for about 20 years. and in his time he got -- you know, he relaxed. [ laughter ] he doesn't look so hot anymore. >> jimmy: he got relaxed -- >> and she dumps him. >> jimmy: and then he has to start dating and -- >> he has to grow up. >> jimmy: yeah. i want to show everyone a clip. here's salma hayek in, "how to be a latin lover." take a look at this.
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>> i just don't know what to do. i can't get a job because i don't have any experience and i can't get experience if i don't get a job. [ car honr ] >> hey, mom! >> i'm here! 5:00, i remembered. you have nothing to complain about. i thought you'd be happy, i got a job. >> turning my car into a a stripper-mobile is not a job. >> what's a stripper? >> it's only 9 days. >> no it's not. you get this trash off my car today! today! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: just his face, makes me laugh. he's really good. >> he's really funny. >> jimmy: this movie will make you laugh. you do something in the movie, you do a nice salsa dance. and you say something in the movie that basically you can turn any sad song into a salsa. >> you know, i do that in real life. i told him, let's put this in the movie because we're very good friends and we were working out the relationship. we should put this in the movie that i do in real life, that when i'm sad, i take a sad song and i turn it into a salsa. like the beatles say, "take a a sad song and make it better."
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i do it into a salsa. [ laughter ] and it puts you in a good mood. i swear, you should try it. >> jimmy: well i was going over some sad songs backstage -- [ laughter ] just in case, just in case you wanted to try one. maybe with the roots and try to -- this is one of the saddest songs. i don't even know if you know "all by myself?" [ laughter ] ♪ all by myself >> oh, yes, yes. >> jimmy: it's a beautiful song. >> very difficult song to sing! >> jimmy: no! [ laughter ] hold up. first of all, i'm not elsa or elena. >> it's a nightmare. >> jimmy: don't talk to me like i'm elena, please. [ laughter ] is it eric carmen? >> questlove: eric carmen, yeah. >> jimmy: would you like to maybe just -- >> i can do any song, but don't know if i can sing it very well. i can turn a sad song into a a salsa, but you have to cut me some slack. >> jimmy: of course we will, we love you! [ cheers and applause ] salma! >> give me your water. ♪
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you guys have to help me because -- i didn't sleep last night, guys. my voice is not good. i have to dance because i cannot turn it into a salsa without it. it is my body that turns it into a salsa. >> jimmy: okay, yes. >> it's not the voice. it's the body. >> jimmy: okay. >> hold on, hold oh. i wish you had tequila instead of this thing. [ laughter ] cold water. >> jimmy: take mine. take mine. that's tequila. >> hit me. [ laughter ] ♪ when i was young i never needed anyone and making love was just for fun ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ those days are gone >> watch this. [ laughter ] ♪ when i'm alone [ cheers and applause ] when i dial the telephone there's no one home ♪
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>> come on jimmy! [ speaking spanish ] ♪ all by myself don't want to be all by myself anymore ♪ ♪ all by myself don't want to be all by myself anymore ♪ >> jimmy: salma hayek, hey! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] you know how to do it! go and see "how to be a latin lover" in theaters april 28th. >> don't leave me. >> jimmy: when we come back, salma hayek and i are competing in the ramen challenge! stick around everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back everybody. we're hanging out with salma hayak! [ cheers and applause ] her new movie, "how to be a a latin lover," is in theaters next friday. salma and i are about to do the ramen challenge. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ramen challenge ramen challenge r-a-m-e-n challenge ♪ >> jimmy: all right, here's how this works -- >> oh my gosh, you have to go first 'cause i don't know. it looks really complicated. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no. it's not, no, you can totally nail this, it's easy. our pal, chef david chang and this place called sun noodle, made us these special four foot long ramen noodles. [ laughter ] there are six of them in this bowl, three for each of us, and we have three shots of sake. you slurp up your whole noodle, then you take a shot. >> where do they start though? this spot or the end? >> jimmy: no, not the end -- >> take it out of the -- >> jimmy: you start with that part. >> there's not some crazy thing -- >> jimmy: there's not a trick, this is easy to do. [ laughter ]
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just slurping noodles, like, "lady and the tramp." you saw, "lady and the tramp." >> you start sucking, yourself. [ laughter and applause ] sometimes i suck and then i try -- >> jimmy: what is going on -- no, slurping. slurping. >> slurping. >> jimmy: i'll start slurping myself. >> there's a difference between sucking and slurping? >> jimmy: yes, yes, yes -- >> whatever! >> jimmy: we'll do it on the commercial break. [ laughter ] you slurp the noodle, and then you take a shot. whoever finishes all three first, wins. >> oh, we have to do it at the same time. >> jimmy: yeah, and -- get our first noodle in position. >> jimmy, you take it out of here, no? >> jimmy: it's a noodle. you can -- your teeth can probably bite through it if you want to. but -- [ laughter ] >> how do you do this? >> jimmy: and it's also customary -- >> i don't understand the stick
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part. [ laughter ] how do you suck with the stick in the middle? [ laughter ] i don't like things in my way when i'm sucking! >> jimmy: you'll learn, you'll learn! you'll figure it out! gosh! [ laughter and applause ] >> this is cheating. [ laughter ] i can imagine you in your house practicing -- >> jimmy: no, no, no, no, no i don't! [ laughter and applause ] >> for hours! >> jimmy: for hours? trust me -- [ laughter ] [ rimshot ] >> let's get the sucking out of the way. ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: also, it's customary to lock eyes with your opponent the whole time. ready? three, two, one, slurp. ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ music speeds up ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ bell dings ] >> jimmy: wait, come on! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ salma! >> oh, my gosh! >> jimmy: they're giving it to you! you beat me -- [ speaking spanish ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they're giving it to you. >> oh, my gosh! i'm drunk! >> jimmy: that was fun, it tasted good too. [ laughter ] all right, i lost. i lost. >> no. >> jimmy: so i'm going to take the loss. what does the losing card say? >> okay, he lost. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my losing prize. i get to lead an invisible marching band out of the studio, into the elevators, and out of the building. roots, can we get some marching band music please? >> you have to go with a salsa march! ♪ [ audience clapping along ]
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>> jimmy: salma hayek everybody! more "tonight show" after the break, stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ we are not here to observe, to sit idly by, or watch from the stands. we are here...for one reason. to leave...a mark. lexus high performance. with 5.0-liter v8s and sport direct-shift transmissions. experience a shift in the natural order. experience amazing. metro news at 6. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! tom? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an incredibly talented actor, writer, performer, comedian. we love him. next month, this latest film "don't think twice" begins streaming on netflix. if you haven't seen it, you have to check it out. starting this august, he kicks off a brand-new comedy tour called "the new one" in berkley, california. ladies and gentlemen, give it up for mike birbiglia. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: mike birbiglia, it's always great to see you. it's fantastic to see you. now you're a writer, acclaimed
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writer/director. >> i suppose. [ light laughter ] i want to tell you a story i had to resist telling backstage. >> jimmy: yeah. >> questlove was so generous with my movie "don't think twice." saw it in the theater four or five times? >> questlove: yeah, maybe, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> and he texted me one night at 11:00 o'clock at night. >> questlove: oh, no. >> and i'm thinking, "am i going to make out with questlove?" [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, that's not -- >> that's not what you're thinking. [ talking over each other ] >> that's not what it was. he's at the movie theater, and he goes -- you're not going to believe what happened. >> jimmy: i don't know, anything can happen with quest. he just gets into weird situations. >> he goes, he goes, "i'm at the movie. i'm seeing your movie for like, the third or fourth time," and he goes, "there is a woman that came out of the movie crying and saying 'that was the worst movie i've ever seen.'" [ laughter ]
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totally true! and questlove approached her and explained that she could not hate the movie if she was crying. that she -- that she might not like it, but she doesn't hate it because she's having an emotional reaction to it. and which i thought -- i was like that's the best case scenario if you go to a movie, is you go to a movie, you don't like the movie, you come out and questlove from "the tonight show" explains to you why you're wrong. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's worth your five bucks. that's worth your 10 bucks right there. >> that's a premium ticket right there. i think you get a regular movie ticket, you get a premium and then you get a questlove argues you out of your opinion ticket. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: why wouldn't she like it?
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>> jimmy: you're all over netflix, though. so may 1st now this movie is going out. >> yeah. >> jimmy: on netflix, but your comedy specials, you're all over the place. >> i got the "thank god for jokes" comedy special on there right now. and then i have a new -- i wrote a new show. i'm going out, yeah, in 25 cities in the fall. >> jimmy: wow. >> that's crazy. >> jimmy: i mean, just because i'm so out of the game now, just to write a whole new act. >> i have to write a whole new act. >> jimmy: but why? >> but why? because people saw the other one and they go, "yeah, whatever." >> jimmy: yeah, but i go see billy joel in concert.
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i want to hear him play "piano man." [ light laughter ] >> i don't like that song. [ laughter ] i like the new stuff. >> jimmy: the new stuff. >> i'm into billy joel's new stuff. >> jimmy: he's not even released it yet. >> we gotta cut this out. >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> i'm gonna be in trouble with billy joel. but i'm going and i'm going on tour. 25 cities and as you know, we talk about "sleepwalk with me" a lot, my first movie. >> jimmy: i love that movie, yeah. >> and the -- but i still sleepwalk. >> jimmy: it was based on the real thing. >> it's a true story. >> jimmy: do you go to a hotel? >> yeah. so if you don't know the story, i had a serious sleep disorder -- i have a serious sleep disorder called rem behavior disorder. about ten years ago i jumped through a second story window and now -- i know! [ laughter ] there is a whole movie about it. that's called "sleepwalk with me." it's very exciting that you don't know that because there is a whole -- there is so much more. >> jimmy: get ready. yeah, yeah, yeah. you're going to be crying, yeah. >> but it is a dangerous thing. so now like when i go to hotels, i literally for 25 cities, i got to call the kee can't open th you know. and, yeah, and that's my life there are details in my life [ light lau >> it was really scary. a few times a year i still have, you know, incidents. you know, just because you make a movie about something doesn't mean it's cured. [ light laughter ] you know, it's like seeing hotel -- it's like "hotel rowanda" and then being like, "and then it all worked out." [ laughter ] there were a lot of issues that remain with both myself and rowanda. not equal. >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> but, yeah, i was in oklahoma, weatherford, oklahoma, which is two hours west of oklahoma city, which is a place they didn't bother to name. they were like oklahoma city. [ light laughter ] and we're from a more sophisticated city called new york.
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and i was staying at a a one-and-a-half star hotel -- [ laughter ] and i check in. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i love how they caved on the half star. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: it's not that bad. >> and i had been driving all day. i flew into dallas because google maps told me it was a a four hour drive to weatherford, but it was a lie. >> jimmy: yeah. >> google maps is like the uncle you have who isn't going on the trip but has a lot of opinions about the trip. [ laughter and applause ] it's like, "yeah, it's four hours. you got to take it that way. you take 9w all the way. yeah, yeah, you go to waffle house. best waffles." [ light laughter ] seven-hour drive. >> jimmy: wow. >> it's a seven hour -- and we're running out of gas. and i just, you know, you run out of gas in new jersey or new york, you're fine. in oklahoma you're like, "it's 'mad max'"! you know what i mean? [ laughter ] like, "i might have to eat you!" there's nothing there. there aren't molecules. you know, you're driving. we're nowhere in space and time. but there are two senators, which is odd, if you think about it. [ light laughter ] i won't get far into that. but i arrive in weatherford. and then there weren't a ton of people. i mean, at the show it was like, you have done these college shows. there's a giant gymnasium. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and there's not a lot of people because, it's like, there's not a lot of people in the town. and then there is not a lot of people that are driving 100 miles to see the 75th lead on "orange is the new black." you know, they might make a a road trip for crazy eyes, but not for you. yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so it's like small. and a one-and-a-half star hotel. and they had me on -- they gave night. they gave away my second floor room, my first floor room and they had me on the second i walked in this room a
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like, "i guess i might die." like i really don't know. i don't know how it's going to go down. so i take like a chest of drawers and i push it up against the window because i -- you know, i don't know what else to do. and then i get my sleeping bag and i just hope for the best. had a dream that i'm in the -- you know the scene in "indiana jones and the temple of doom" where the walls are coming in. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i had that dream. yeah, and i get up. i sprint towards the door. and when i have these dreams, they're as real as me talking to you right now. and so i sprinted for my life, but my legs were bound by the sleeping bag. [ light laughter ] and, so, it was like i catapulted into the -- like a a reverse catapult into the floor and i'm bleeding. my face is bleeding. [ light laughter ] i'm in oklahoma. [ laughter and applause ] and then i -- and i to dallas in the morning and i housekeeper walked in, in the of drawers against the windows and thought, "i guess when the ne but that's the real thing. >> jimmy: i'm so happy that you're okay. >> thanks. >> jimmy: if you guys have mike right now all across america? the 25 cities you're playing?
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[ light laughter ] can we just make that a rule right now all across america? the 25 cities you're playing? >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah. please make that a rule. >> please. [ cheers and applause ] mike birbiglia. [ cheers and applause ] for tickets to see mike on tour visit clean bandit and zara larsson perform for us next. stick around, everybody. mike birbiglia! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ vehicle serviced... from the comfort of your own home. introducing complimentary lincoln pickup and delivery servicing. because the most important luxury of all... is time. pickup and delivery servicing on the entire family of lincoln luxury vehicles including a complimentary lincoln loaner.
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so ammara, you're a verizon engineer, tell me, what's one really good reason why the samsung galaxy s8 is better on verizon? well we have the largest 4g lte network in america. yeah that's a pretty good reason. and the most reliable. uh-huh. and, with unlimited, you get full hd video. oh wow, yeah, that's, uh, two, maybe even three reasons right there. it's exactly three. okay. sure, whatever you say. (vo) if you really, really want the best, switch to verizon unlimited and get the galaxy s8 for just $15 a month. i saw you take those phones, you know. no, you didn't.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's music guests are a grammy award winning trio and an international popstar, whose collaboration has wrapped up over 73 million views on youtube. performing "symphony," please welcome, clean bandit and zara larsson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i've been hearing symphonies before all i heard was silence a rhapsody for you and me ♪
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♪ and every melody is timeless life was stringing me along ♪ ♪ then you came and you cut me loose was solo singing on my own now i can't find the key without you ♪ ♪ and now your song is on repeat and i'm dancin on to your heartbeat ♪ ♪ and when you're gone i feel incomplete so if you want the truth ♪ ♪ i just wanna be part of your symphony will you hold me tight and not let go symphony ♪ ♪ like a love song on the radio will you hold me tight and not let go ♪ ♪ i'm sorry if it's all too much every day you're here
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i'm healing and i was runnin out of luck ♪ ♪ i never thought i'd find this feeling cause i've been hearing symphonies ♪ ♪ before all i heard was silence a rhapsody for you and me and every melody is timeless ♪ ♪ and now your song is on repeat and i'm dancin on to your heartbeat ♪ ♪ and when you're gone i feel incomplete so if you want the truth ♪ ♪ i just wanna be part of your symphony will you hold me tight and not let go symphony ♪ ♪ like a love song on the radio will you hold me tight
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and not let go ♪ ♪ ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪ ♪ and now your song is on repeat and i'm dancin on to your heartbeat ♪ ♪ and when you're gone i feel incomplete so if you want the truth oh ♪ ♪ i just wanna be part of your symphony will you hold me tight and not let go symphony ♪ ♪ like a love song on the radio symphony will you hold me tight and not let go symphony ♪
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♪ like a love song on the radio will you hold me tight and not let go ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: clean bandit, zara larsson, catch them on tour now. they're on tour. we'll be right back, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] let's go, she's a dog.
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[ whimpers ] find ping-pong.
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find your awesome with the xfinity x1 voice remote. that's amazing! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to salma hayek, mike birbiglia, clean bandit and zara larsson and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania! stay tuned for "late night" with seth meyers. thank you for watching. have a great weekend. i hope to see you tomorrow. thank you very much! bye-bye, everybody! ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- chris evans, from "smurfs: the lost village," actor mandy patinkin, music from michelle branch, featuring the 8g band with johnathan mover. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump today met with the president of china at his mar-a-lago resort. and things got off to an awkward start when trump said, "i thought you were really funny in the 'hangover' movies." [ laughter ]


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