tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC July 3, 2017 11:34pm-12:01am EDT
here's a live shot right here at ben franklin parkway. it is all set now for the wa wa welcome america foeestival comi up tomorrow. there are all those seats, those white chairs. >> and everybody wants it to be dry. >> nobody wants to be sit in rain. i think we will be dry. an isolated shower is possible in the afternoon and early evening, but i do think that the fireworks and concert right now look dry. so that's good news. >> really good. >> look at the temperatures, too. how can you complain, 87 degrees. >> i'm not complaining. have a great night, we'll see you tomorrow. happy fourth! ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- dwayne johnson, ellie kemper, musical guest charlie puth.
and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 678, a-t-l! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you guys very much. thank you for being here. thank you for watching. welcome, everybody, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] you're watching the right show, baby. big show tonight. i'm your host, jimmy fallon. you guys, what a show we have
for you tonight. >> steve: whoa. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: the next president of the united states, dwayne "the rock" johnson is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] let's get to some news here, you guys. there's yet another scandal. that's right. a recording just came out from a closed door meeting where republican congressman kevin mccarthy says he thinks vladimir putin actually pays donald trump. [ audience oohs ] trump said he never accepted any money from putin because he was paid entirely in kfc gift cards. [ laughter ] [ applause ] that's not -- >> steve: it's not money. >> jimmy: doesn't count. >> steve: it's not money. >> jimmy: technically -- in the same recording paul ryan can be heard telling his colleagues not to leak any information. [ laughter ] and everyone agreed. except for the person who was making that recording. but everyone else. [ applause ] person kept recording the conversation, actually, ryan's exact quote was "what's said in the family stays in the family." [ light laughter ] sounds less like a congressman from wisconsin, more like a
a congressman from new jersey. it's like, "hey. [ cheers ] keep it in the family, capisce? [ laughter ] that's for you." [ laughter ] meanwhile, trump started tweeting again. today he criticized the russia investigation, saying, "this is the single greatest witch hunt of a politician in american history." [ light laughter ] then one guy was like, "do you still want to see my birth certificate?" [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh! hey! ho. hey, ho! >> jimmy: not exactly the worst. that's right, trump called it a a witch hunt. then he sent out a tweet that said, "i'll get you, james comey, and your little memo, too." [ laughter and applause ] literally, yeah. the whole thing has just been a a big mess for the white house. i guess after it came out that trump shared classified information with the russians, one staffer texted their friend, "f-m-l." [ light laughter ] and that friend texted back, "new scandal, who dis?" [ applause ] that's a lot of scandals. >> steve: a lot of them.
>> jimmy: actually, "the washington post" reports that some white house staffers have already started looking for other jobs. yeah. a lot of them posted their resumes on the job hunting site iworkedforamonster.com. >> steve: really? [ applause ] ho! >> jimmy: but trump could be in some real legal trouble with all these scandals. and to prove he knows a lot about the law, he actually put out his own textbook where he gives definitions to some common legal terms. let's take a look at what he wrote. yeah. for example, for subpoena, he wrote, "that girl who was a teenage witch." [ laughter ] subpoena the teenage witch. >> steve: that's sabrina. >> jimmy: he wrote it. >> steve: i guess you're right, yeah. >> jimmy: next, for precedent, he put, "what i am." [ laughter ] precedent of the united -- next, for appeal, he wrote, "the part of the banana you don't eat." [ laughter ] >> steve: well, that is true. >> jimmy: that is true. >> steve: that is a fact. >> jimmy: yet again, false. next, for homicide, he put, "when your pita comes with sabra." [ laughter ]
>> steve: oh okay. a side of hummus. >> jimmy: a side of humus. [ laughter ] that's a stretch, and y'all went along with it. and i appreciate that. i love you guys for doing that. [ applause ] on the side. >> steve: we'll give you that extra. >> jimmy: on the side, please. yeah. [ light laughter ] >> steve: a wall of gyro. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: next up, for supreme court he wrote, "like a normal court but with sour cream and guac." [ laughter ] "make it a supreme court." [ laughter ] and finally for a jury he wrote, "the main guy on 'seinfeld.'" well, it's jerry seinfeld. that's totally wrong. [ cheers and applause ] keep trying. >> steve: he tries so hard. >> jimmy: tomorrow trump will leave for saudi arabia, even though he publicly bashed the country while he was campaigning. the only way staffers got him to go was by telling him he gets to meet aladdin and princess jasmine. [ laughter ] get him on the plane, get him over there. guys, i heard that a princess in japan is giving up her royal status so she can marry a a commoner. which is something she'll definitely bring up in every
single fight she has with her husband. [ laughter ] "your friends are coming over for dinner? i gave up being a princess for you." guys, this is everywhere. apparently the latest fashion trend is rompers for men. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers ] they're calling them romp-hims. [ laughter ] not romp-hers, romp-hims. yeah. this is real. take a look at the video they put up here. ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: toddlers are like oh my god, is that what we look like? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: romp-hims, romp-hims, romp-hims. >> jimmy: you have one, don't you? [ laughter ] i knew you did. i knew you did.
a lot of people are excited about this, you guys. the new season of "the bachelorette" kicks off on monday. oh, man. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, abc says it has the most diverse cast in franchise history. so finally, yeah, america gets to see the most embarrassing people from all ethnicities. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots right there, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. guys, we have a fantastic show tonight. he's the biggest movie star in the world. he's hosting "saturday night live." [ cheers and applause ] dwayne johnson is in the house. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the season finale of "saturday night live." they've had a great season.
dwayne and i are going to talk about his new movie "baywatch," which is super funny. [ cheers ] and then we're going to play a a fun new game called "blow your mind." >> steve: ooh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: first time ever. brand-new game. everyone's going to be playing it. this is going to be giant. >> steve: gonna sweep the nation. >> jimmy: all the kids are going to do it. >> steve: it's going to swiffer the whole country. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: plus, from the netflix series "unbreakable kimmy schmidt," the lovely, the talented ellie kemper is here! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: i know. the creator of that show, tina fey -- today is her birthday. >> steve: aw. >> jimmy: so happy birthday, tina fey. [ cheers and applause ] and also today is my wife's birthday, nancy. [ cheers and applause ] hi, nancy! i love you! happy birthday! i love you, i love you. we have great music tonight. man, this guy is just talented, man. he can play any instrument. he just -- he writes his own songs. he's just fantastic. love this guy. charlie puth is here tonight. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love that dude.
guys, it is time for "tonight show" hashtags. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hashtags hashtags ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hey, guys, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to respond to that topic. so because the big story this week has been trump disclosing classified information, i sent out a hashtag called "my weird secret." [ light laughter ] i asked you to guys send us a a funny, weird or embarrassing secret about yourself. these were really fun. this first one is from @exyuppie. he says, "i like to do my atm transactions in spanish because it makes me feel like i aced a a test when the money comes out." [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: si. >> jimmy: si. this is from 2spockshakur. [ laughter ] 2 spock. >> steve: yeah, come on. >> jimmy: he says, "i stretch my t-shirts out before going to the gym so that my personal trainer thinks i lost weight." [ laughter ] that's brilliant. >> steve: that's good. >> jimmy: that's smart.
>> steve: i do that just so they'll fit. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] this is one is from @clarac91. she says, "i work security at a a hospital and will sometimes deactivate cute doctors' badges so they have to come see me to fix it." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: "my i.d. doesn't work." >> jimmy: "we could have saved her life." [ laughter ] this one's from annadimmy1. she says, "sometimes when i eat junk food and feel bad, i whisper to myself, 'it's for a a good cause.'" [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers ] your mental wellbeing? i don't know. this one's from @gooutinjoy. she says, "my neighbors have a a lion statue in their driveway that's holding one paw up. i give it an exploding fist bump every time i go by." [ laughter and applause ] this one's from @ecdaw. she says, "i can't snap my
fingers, so when i need to snap, i make the snapping sounds with my tongue while doing the approximate motion with my fingers." [ laughter and applause ] [ snapping sounds ] once you're a jet, you're a a jet -- [ laughter ] this one's from @food4menotu. [ laughter ] >> steve: a lot of foodies tonight. wow. food4menotu. >> jimmy: food4 menotu. like a prince song. >> steve: like prince, yeah. >> jimmy: she says, "when i was little i would lick our cat because i thought she missed her cat family." [ laughter ] >> steve: oh. [ choking noise ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this last one is from @ctrlaltdelight. >> steve: oh, busted. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he says, "when i try to be funny on twitter i always picture someone reading it and saying, 'this guy is good.'" [ laughter ] hey, this guy is good! there you have it. those are our hashtags. to check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest tonight is a genuine superstar who anchors one hit movie after another. the next one is a big screen reboot of "baywatch." it hits theaters next thursday. [ cheers and applause ] he's also hosting the season finale of "saturday night live" this weekend with musical guest katy perry. please welcome, the one, the only dwayne johnson! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: dwayne johnson. how you doing, buddy? great to see you, man >> good. good to see you, man, as always. >> jimmy: now, last time we had a -- >> good to see you guys. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. they love you. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i got to say last time we had a a great time. we hung out all day in orlando. >> in orlando. yes. >> jimmy: that was the most fun. we dressed up. we had these giant mascot heads of ourselves -- >> yes. >> jimmy: and we ran around the park. >> ran around the park. >> jimmy: we hugged like a a hundred people each between both of us. >> we took selfies. it was crazy.
>> jimmy: it was -- it was -- >> the hottest thing, but we had fans inside our big mascot ma -- and everything. i guess -- >> let me clarify. you had a fan. >> jimmy: sorry. [ laughter ] >> i have a bigger head. i have a bigger head. >> the star of the show had one. >> jimmy: i have a bigger head than you. but respect to all the mascots out there. i get what you go through. >> respect, by the way. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. yeah, exa -- we were doin -- we were in there for like four hours or something but anyways. thank you for doing that. you always put your all into everything. and -- >> thanks for having me down, man. >> jimmy: i mean, "the fate of the furious" did, i think since that release came out, 1.something billion dol -- billion dollars. >> it was crazy. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, thank you. >> jimmy: 1.1 billion, something like that. >> it was some version of it. >> jimmy: billion dollars. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm serious. come on. >> it was awesome. >> we're talking billions now? >> it was awesome. >> that's just the craziest thing ever. >> thank you guys for that support. it really means a lot. >> jimmy: wow, you're great on screen. >> thank you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: lift a dude up sideways. come on, you know it. >> lift him up sideways. >> jimmy: you know how you got to -- >> i redirected a torpedo with my bare hands. >> jimmy: yes. [ cheers ] that's what you got to do. >> yes. >> jimmy: then you come out -- look. look at this is magazine cover. so this is like --
>> ahh, there you go. >> jimmy: you did the cover -- [ cheers ] it's a combination of the rock right there. i got say this photo shoot in this is unbelievable. no one does it like you. >> yeah. well, thank you. >> jimmy: you put some work into it. there's got to be 30 setups of different shoots here. >> sexy! [ cheers ] >> yep. >> jimmy: sexy there. that's another one. i mean -- >> there was -- yes. there -- [ cheers ] >> jimmy: i mean it's fantastic. >> any time i can dress like a a butterfly, i mean, that's a a cool one there. >> jimmy: look at that. come on. [ audience ohs ] i mean how great is -- >> so i got to tell you, with "gq" it was the best experience with those guys. and peggy sirota, phenomenal photographer. >> jimmy: ahh! that's my favorite. i love peggy sirota. >> she's the best. she did that. we were all around venice beach. and we had -- i had a blast. >> jimmy: it looks like it would have taken like three weeks to do all that. >> we did all that in one day, by the way. yeah. >> jimmy: this is like 30 setups. it's just -- >> it was a lot of setups, a a lot of hard work. >> jimmy: it's a great -- great photos, but a great article as well. >> yeah. thank you. >> jimmy: and there's issue
that the reporter brings up and this is the possibility of you running for president. and people took that -- [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: people took that story and ran with it. >> ran. >> jimmy: it is bigger than any story. >> it's still running. >> jimmy: it's still running around. why are people making such a a connection or such a big deal about this? i mean -- >> i think -- well, this story, this profile came out, and i would be remiss to say if i didn't mention her name. katie weaver is a really brilliant writer. and the story has blown up because it was so wonderfully written. very, very witty. she was amazing. but in it, as we were talking about it she goes, would you ever consider running for president?" i said, "yeah, of course, i would consider it." and how this surge and the groundswell -- [ laughter ] since then has really been amazing. and i got to tell you and i'll tell you guys, too, i'm so incredibly flattered that, you know, there's a national poll that just came out this past week. >> jimmy: yeah. like real news channels. >> like real news channels, real national poll that brought together republicans and democrats saying that i would
beat donald trump if we had an election today. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: absolutely. >> to become president. and i was -- i've really been blown away, right? and it's so flattering. and i think you ask the question why. i think it's because, you know, a lot of people want to see a a different leadership today -- i'm sorry, not different but better leadership today, right? a better leadership. [ cheers and applause ] i think more poised, less noise. and i also think that -- i think over the years i've become a guy that a lot of people kind of relate to, get up early in the morning at a a ridiculous hour, go to work and spend time with the troops, take care of my family. i love taking care of people. and i think that kind of thing really resonates with people, especially today. i love coming here to "the tonight show" crowd. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we love you. >> i mean, really. i've been blown away. and i'm very flattered by it. 3 1/2 years is a long ways away. so we'll see. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: i love that. and i love that -- here's the theme.
so the cover is so -- it's being parodied and done. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: people are doing this and now it's become a hashtag, now it's even grown into a a contest. >> yes, so people started doing this -- they did their best version of this, and we turned it into a contest. rock the "gq" cover. so the contest is everybody's been tagging my instagram with their picture of trying to do this cover. >> jimmy: #rockthegqcover. >> rock the "gq" cover. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> right. you got to go give me your best creative most best performance -- funniest performance there. and the winner, when we pick a a winner, i'm going to rent out an entire theater for them. they're going to invite all their friends, all their family, popcorn on me, soda on me, weed on me. no, i'm only kidding. >> jimmy: no, no, no. [ cheers and applause ] >> listen! [ laughter ] no. >> jimmy: no, no. >> no. not that kind of party. >> jimmy: he's not paying for the popcorn. [ laughter ] absolutely not. that's too much money. >> that's when you've crossed the line. >> jimmy: even with free refills it's not worth it. it's a lot of popcorn. he's not doing all that. hey, let's talk about "baywatch." >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is it, now, it's
reality. [ cheers and applause ] >> there it is. >> jimmy: coming out this summer for memorial day weekend. i mean it's coming out the thursday of the weekend. the long weekend. >> can't wait. >> jimmy: it's a big, big, big comedy. >> big comedy. >> there's a thousand jokes in it. >> it's -- a thousand jokes. rated r. we really went for it. and this -- the movie's been with me for five years now. so it's been like my baby and a a passion project. and so happy to deliver because, by the way, it's like with "baywatch." here's what i didn't know until we started doing the research five years ago. "baywatch" is the most successful television show ever. >> jimmy: yes. that's true. >> ever. i know, it's crazy and we love "baywatch." but it also -- we knew five years ago, oh, it's got some challenges. right? it comes with a little bit of baggage because it's an '80s tv show. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so the idea is how can we make it cool? how do we make it hip? how can we make the action awesome? and how can we make -- how can we create rated r jokes that will stand the test of time? >> jimmy: yeah. >> and we did. >> jimmy: yeah, you did. [ cheers ] and also, you got you and zac efron to take your shirts off, too, yeah, so that helps.
[ cheers ] people enjoy that. now you don't have to -- we don't want to know spoilers or anything. but clearly you work on the beach and you're lifeguards and you're saving people's lives and stuff like that but -- >> yes. >> jimmy: please tell me, maybe just hint at, maybe just wink at me. is there a possibility of a a cameo of either david hasselhoff or pamela anderson? >> okay. uh -- let's see, if i kick my right leg that means there's a a possibility of a cameo of one. >> jimmy: okay. >> if i kick my left leg, that means both of them are in the movie. okay, ready? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the left. that's the left leg! we have a clip! here's dwayne johnson and zac efron in "baywatch," -- >> that's the left leg. >> jimmy: in theaters next thursday! check it out! >> oh, my gosh. >> shut your mouth. you're going to get us caught. >> i'm laying on a dead old lady. >> well, she's not going to bite you, for christ's sakes. will you shut up?
>> something just dripped on me. >> shut your mouth. what do think -- >> its all right. >> oh, my gosh. >> shush. >> it did it again. >> something's dripping on me. >> listen to me. formaldehyde melts fat. >> what? >> that's what's dripping on your face. sit there and shut up. damn it. keep it together. >> that's it. i'm out. >> no! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's a great guy, man. >> he's awesome. i love zac efron. >> jimmy: i love that guy. >> he's the best. he's the best. >> jimmy: "baywatch," everybody. dwayne johnson and i are playing a big new game after the break. stick around, everybody. it's going to be fun! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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