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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  August 2, 2011 12:00am-1:05am EDT

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everybody believes. everybody plays a certain role. and it works. it works. it works very well. ♪ you gotta hold on >> this is lara spencer for "nightline" in newark, new jersey. >> thanks for watching abc news. "good morning america" will have more on congresswoman gabby giffords' comeback and we'll see you here tomorrow. tonight on an all new jimmy kimmel live. >> howie mandel. >> we should have one american in there at least. but that's -- >> i'm american. i became an american. >> not in my book, sorry. >> really? >> bachelorette and j.p. >> this is the night before you guys got engaged. >> jimmy, how dare you show that! >> i didn't do it. how dare you do that to my j.p. tonight's guests really couldn't be more opposite. we got a man who won't shake hands with a woman and a
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from hollywood it's jimmy kimmel live. tonight, howie mandel. bachelorette ashley hebert and j.p. and music from jake shimabukuro. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's jimmy kimmel live and now, moving right along, here's jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ]
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after e eensive spit swapping with a pool of 25 men, ashley hebert chose the one she wants to spend the next 5 to 11 covers of "us weekly" tonight. it all came down to ben and j.p. they did things a little differently. last week, ashley announced she stopped using birth control. tonight they flew maury povich in. whoever made her pregnant was declared the winner. they did it the old-fashioned way. the winner or the guy she chose was j.p. i was hoping it would be j.p. you know, j.p. is short for jimmy's pick. [ laughter ] it's not over yet. if the house and the senate fail to ratify ashley's choice, she will have to start back at square one. even though many people, including yours truly, picked j.p. to win ashley's heart quite a while ago, it wasn't exactly smooth sailing with the biggest speed bump being j.p.'s unpleasant one on one with
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ashley's very blunt and very tattooed sister christy. >> well, j.p. >> yeah. >> i was a little bit tough on ashley. >> how so? >> i'm skeptical of -- i think your relationship together. which is not common for me. usually i trust ashley's opinion. but at first glance and seeing you together, i don't see it. >> jimmy: well, thanks for the chat, kat von depressing. should a woman covered in permanent cartoons really be involved in the decision making? i'd like to get a tattoo of tweety bird smoking from a bong on my throat. tonight was the go two-hour finale followed by the one hour after the rose special. last night was the men tell all show where all the guys eliminated sit around to remin us why they were eliminated. while most of the contestants are uckleheads, one guy,
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william this is the guy, if you remember, they had a rose for ashley and he accidentally make her cry with jokes. he had a surprisingly insightful take on this whole thing from beginning to end. >> who did you want the bachelorette to be? >> i was happy with ashley being the bachelorette. >> you were happy with the bachelorette? >> what are you getting at, nick? >> the roast was a roast. when i said emily chantell, that's what -- >> then why are we here? >> because none of us can find a girl to date. >> jimmy: the man makes a decent point. i'm happy that j.p. and ashley ended up together. i do feel bad for ben, the runner-up who actually picked out an engagement ring and got down on one knee and proposed to ashley on television. she said no. which may be that will mean he's the next bachelor. i don't know. tonight ben and ashley came face-to-face for the first time since ashley broke his heart. >> i cared about you so much. i think you're great. i think that hopefully we'll always have that -- >> yeah -- >> you know. >> it's a friend thing. it's like this whole season, we
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started as friends so yeah the friendship thing i think will there be. >> yeah. >> jimmy: look at that face. let's have another look at that if we could. examine -- >> -- will be there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: uh-huh. uh-huh. yeah. his mouth says "we'll be friends" but his eyes say i hope you and j.p. go into a volcano. the proposals happened on an island in fiji. they flew both guys out in a plane. but they sent the loser, ben, back on a little boat. which made it even sadder. you come in on a plane and you leave on a dingy. look at this. how could this possibly be more pathetic? >> i got down on one knee and proposed to this girl. i didn't see this one coming. i didn't. i don't even understand. i don't think i ever -- ahh. >> jimmy: ah, you know what, it's -- i didn't -- they should
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have -- [ applause ] should have known it was shark week. so ashley and j.p. will be here in a few minutes. as will howie mandel. tonight's guests really couldn't be more opposite. we got a man who won't shake hands with a human and a woman who shook tongues with ten different guys in a hot tub. as you witnessed moments ago, the discovery channel's 24th annual shark week is under way. next week of course is good luck getting your kids in the bathtub week. sharks are to the discovery channel what hitler is to the history channel, ratings gold. i'd like to see some crossover there, sharks versus hitler. sharks are fascinating animals. many years of research, marriage biologists still know surprisingly little about them. mostly because they keep getting eaten when they try to find out. this has nothing to do with sharks. summer is in full swing. a lot of people are spending time at the lake. i want to show you this video not just because it's hilarious but also because it carries an
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important safety message but mostly because it's hilarious. >> let's do this. >> both hands. >> do it. >> are you going or not? >> here, do you want this? >> no, no, no. okay, go. one -- >> oh, my god. >> [ bleep ]. >> okay, here we go. one, two. three. go. >> jimmy: i'm trying to figure out what -- how the -- would have helplp. [ applause ] it's like an interpretative dance version of a jeff foxworthy joke. the house of representatives tonight voted to approve the much talked about debt ceiling bill. do we care about the debt ceiling bill? no, huh? the bachelorette, yes. we're very, very focused. tomorrow, it goes to the senate. see, all it took was the threat of financial armageddon to get both sides together.
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while the b bl got support from both sides of the fence, neither side appears to be happy about it. liberals say it gives republicans everything they wanted that the democrats laid down and let the republicans roll over them. democrats disagree. they were planking. and there's a difference. but i will tell you something. we wouldn't be in this mess if joe biden hadn't invest all our money in raising and breeding alpacas. hey, i like to wish a happy birthday to our former governor here in california, arnold schwarzenegger. arnold turned 64 on saturday. please, hold your applause. you know, the best part about having an illegitimate kid is exex extra birthday present this year. what do you get the man who can't pronounce anything? in honor of arnold's birthday, the austrian village he was born in opened an arnold
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schwarzenegger museum. which they've got exhibits. they've got a sword from "conan." and a statue from the terminator movies. the museum, as they're calling it, is housed inside the home arnold grew up in. it is a must see for any serious schwarzeneneer fan. >> arnold schwarzenegger enthusiasts around the world can now visit a museum dedicated to the achievements of the body builder, actor and governor. visitors to his boyhood home in the village of steria can see the original weight lifting set that he usesed to win his first body building championship and do squats with his first housekeeper. his boyhood kitchen where the family cook buttered his sh anytime zell and an exact replica of his governor's desk complete with a frisky foreigner named lupita. admission is free for all illegitimate childrere under 12 >> jimmy: you know what, you have to admire their attention to detail.
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this is -- again, happy birthday. this is disturbing in the most wonderful way possible. there's a show on tlc c cled "my strange addiction." based on what i've seen of it, it should be called "weird people who eat weird things." they find these characters. i don't know where. last night they found another gem. a woman named therere whose addicted to eating -- any guess, anyone? theresa is addicted to eating rocks. >> my name'ser is res er ithere. i'm addicted to eating rocks. i don't think i would be able to function every day if i didn't eat some quantity of rock. >> when my mom eats rocks, it's kind of like she goes to la-la land. she doesn't seem to be paying attention to anything going on around her. >> jimmy: well, there's a lot going on in that house.
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[ applause ] eating rocks might be the least of it. yeah. maybe they c cld wean her off with fruity pebbles or something. one more thing, you know, the price of gold hit an all-time high on friday. it's over $1,600 an ounce. flavor flav's mouth is now worth $2.4 million. because the economy has been in such turmoil lately, some peope see gold as a safe investment. and if you're looking to invest in gold, i hate to push but i know just the guy to help you out. >> confused by the markets? worried about your dwindling savings? hello, i'm fred willard. in times like these, it pays to count on something you can touch. gold. see this? it's a tiny dollar bill. that's how your money is. >> worthless. >> see this? that's gold. gold. gold is bigger. and heavier. that's why i've invested literally tens of thousands of my moneys with gold king. with gold king, all's you need
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is a mailbox and all your money. all of it. after only two weeks in the gold game, already my house is filled with coins. nuggets. a gold plunger. a gold possum. pirate coins. and even gold teeth. why invest in anything else if you can have gold? gold. gold i inot a guaranteed investment. consult with someone who isn't fred willard before investing in gold. gold king. buy gold. i want you to. please. >> call now. [ applause ] >> jimmy: the staff has been on drugs lately. hey, we got a good show for you tonight. the bachelorette and her fiance j.p. are with us. we have music from jake shimabukuro. and we'll be right back with howie mandel so stick around. [ child's voice ] ooh, that looks good.
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[ child's voice ] can i have some? [ child's voice ] you guys should rock, paper, scissors for it. one-two-three-shoot. one-two-three-shoot. i win! oh, man. [ muffled ] congratulations. [ male announcer ] get your own subway® bbq pulled pork sub. slow-cooked pork with bold barbecue sauce.
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[ child's voice ] oocan i have some?od. [ child's voice ] you guys should rock, paper, scissors for it. one-two-three-shoot. one-two-three-shoot. i win! oh, man. [ muffled ] congratulations. [ male announcer ] get your own subway® bbq pulled pork sub. slow-cooked pork with bold barbecue sauce. hi, welcome back. tonight on the program, a bachelorette no more. earlier this evening, we saw her get engaged to the man of both of our dreams. ashley hebert and her fiancé are with us. and then, music from a very
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talented guy. i don't normally go for ukulele music but this is an exception. this is his latest album. it's called "peace, love, ukulele." jake shimabukuro is here. very difficult name to pronounce but -- shimabukuro. did i get that right? okay, thanks. what's the difference i guess. they call him the jimi hendrix of the ukulele. for real, that's not a joke. which hopefully it won't end the same way. tomorrow night -- hank azaria, jim sturgess, and music from the lonely forest. then later this week -- james franco, denise richards, jeremy piven, todd glass, and in preparation for their big weekend at lollapalooza in chicago, coldplay will be here too. so please join us for those things. our first guest tonight is a former muppet baby and reformed gizmo who, in addition to entertaining audiences for three decades, has single-handedly made purell hand-sanitizer the second most popular liquid
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in the world behind water. you can watch him judge the gifted and bizarre every tuesday and wednesday on "america's got talent." please say hello to howie mandel. [ applause ] very good to see you. >> good to be seen. i wanted -- before w we start, wanted to -- you know, when we come to talk shows, when guests go to talk shows, usually there's gives in the dressing room. and you've given me -- i've got jimmy kimmel t-shirts and that. and i brought you a gift. it's a real -- i just tried it for the first time this week. it's called fresh balls. this is a real -- an actual ---i swear to you, it's not a joke. >> jimmy: you u ied this? >> i did. they sent it to me at "america's got talent." i'm telling you, i'm wearing it now. and my balls -- don't laugh, i'm being serious.
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they are -- it's like springtime in my pants. i'm telling you, this is -- and i just -- you know, i care about you and i just want -- >> jimmy: thank you. >> i'm trying to spreaeathe word. also, i hope that they -- the people from fresh balls are watching this and i can bebehe face of fresh balls. i want to be the face of fresh balls. >> jimmy: i think you now are the face. >amazing. >> jimmy: very kind of you. >> comes with a t-shirt and everything. what do you use now? >> jimmy: i just go au naturale. >> even in the summer? >> jimmy: i used to go with a lot of talc but then i read it can give you cancer -- >> it makes it look snowy and everything. i don't like that. this is like an ointment. i won't go into it but that's for you. >> jimmy: i can't imagine you using this knowing what we know about you and how you like to avoid germs and that sort of >> i will touch my own balls. i won't apply -- [ laughter ] i know where they've been. did you think i wouldn't touch my own balls? >> jimmy: maybe, i don't know.
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>> no, for the first six years -- when i went -- when i became a man, that's how i had sex. there was nobody else involved. it was germ free. it was just me and them. >> jimmy: that's really nice. >> but they didn't have -- >> jimmy: i'm glad you're back together. that's lovely. >> you know what's weird though, if you start using it, your balls will smell exactly like mine. which is nuts. >> jimmy: i've always dreamed that might happen one day. >> no, you're kidding. you've got to be kidding. >> jimmy: no, no, that's absolutely true. >> now i'm embarrassed. can i clear something up? >> jimmy: sure, clear everything up. >> i was -- we're on hollywood boulevard for those that don't know. i come down here every week because i -- well, i have a star. >> jimmy: you have a star, that's right. >> and i have a tour around my star. >> jimmy: you do? >> i stand on my star and i say, come here, look that the. >> jimmy: technically not a tour. >> i try to make it bigger thann >> it is it's you making a spectacle. >> it's me, it's me, look, it's me. there's a great restaurant.
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have you been there? >> jimmy: i've been there, yes. >> my friend who works on another show with me is the bar tender there. his name is howie, as a matter of fact. i knew i was on the street. i knew i was at katsui. i said, before i go home, i'm going to drop in and say hello to howie. if you walk into katsui on a saturday night, it's packed with celebrities and everything. this is a true story. i walk in and it's packed. it's like ten deep to the bar. i try to get his attention. i'm going, howie, howie. and he sees me. i go -- like that. and then i turn around. i walk out. i did my -- the manager comes running down the street. he goes, if you want a table, just ask me. so they assume that i was standing in the middle of this crowd going, howie, howie. how come nobody's taking care of me? it wasn't -- i just want to point out. i was just saying hello. >> jimmy: the only person who does that is regis i think. regis, regeg is here.
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you don't refer -- >> i've never referred to myself as regis. mostly howie. it wasn't that. i was just saying hello to howie. but i get embarrassed a lot. >> jimmy: we talked about you saying hello to howie in a different way just moments ago. >> oh, yes. the greeting. shaking hands. yes. >> jimmy: how's everything going this summer? are your kids still in the house? are they -- >> no, no, they're in the backyard right now. no, they're grown. they're grown. i'm an empty nester. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> weryes, the house is empty. they've grown and gone on to their own lives. >> jimmy: you like that? >> no, it's empty. it is. my kids are funny and i enjoyed having them around. my son is actually the funniest of -- he used to -- even when he was a little kid, he like had comedy in him. just naturally was comedic. i have two girls and a boy. one of the little girl's goldfish tied. i tried to, you know, make a little -- not a celebration,
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a -- >> jimmy: a memorial? >> a memorial around the toilet because you -- why's that funny? don't other people flush? we were going to flush it. she said good-bye. tears were coming down her cheeks. my other little girl said some nice word. we flushed. my son said rest in piss. so he's always -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: that is -- how old was he when heid that? >> 30. just turned 30. no, he was like 6. so he had that -- he's always had that -- >> jimmy: is he a practical joker like his father? >> yeah, he's always doing practical -- we both do. we do it -- we do it and -- not even for . i know a lot of our stuff -- >> jimmy: you did it to me once. do you remember what you did to me? >> i don't remember doing anything to you. >> jimmy: we were doing a show in dallas together. >wh, the tv thing. >> jimmy: i had the lakers game on. i said there must be a television. there must be the lakers game that i can watch when i come
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there. they said, no problem. it will be taken care of. i sat down to watch television and watch the game. and the tv kept switching channels. i had no idea why it was happening. >> i was in the next room. i had a thing that matched -- you could turn tvs in the other room. i carry one around. >> jimmy: you drove me insane. i went crazy. i'm like, what's going on with this television set? >> but i'm always bothering people. even when people try to help me, i can't help myself. i was in a -- i travel. i was in a nice hotel. i do this a lot. every time i walked down to the hotel, down to the lobby, he's going, mr. mantle, is everything okay? i'm going, everything's okay. how's your room. so i figured, you know what, i'm going to give him something to do. i said, there is one thing. in my room, the -- i don't -- the toilet water, it's like a -- it's tart. there's like a salty -- like an aftertaste. can you -- and he doesn't even,
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like, hesitate. he go, well, we'll take care of that, sir. and then i come back. like hours later. he goes, is everything okay now? like, what did he do? what did -- and i wasn't -- i wasn't going to taste it. but i -- but he did something. >> jimmy: dump a little tang maybe in the -- >> i don't know. i don't know what he did. i was just at the mall the other day. i walked up to the booth. you know, they have the cellular phone booths. i just saw this -- customer service. some girl was sitting there very -- business person. when i see somebody that serious, it just -- it draws me like a magnet. i walked over to her and i go, can you help me? she goes, yes, yes. i go, i bought a cell phone about twtwweek it is -- i don't know it's -- the actual phone. or -- breaking up. so can you -- and she goes, well, do you have your phone with you? i go, no, i don't. she go, well, you're going to
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have to bring it in if we're going to solve this problem. she was adamant. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you're a lot of fun. >> pardon me? >> jimmy: you're a lot of fun. >> i'm a lot of fun? >> jimmy: yeah. >> are you having a lot of fun with me? >> jimmy: i like it. a lot of people go, why would you do this? i always think, why wouldn't you do this? >> to me, it's the real comedy. to me, i grew up -- watching "candid camera." the stuff that sal does. more than writing a joke. when somebody's really -- when it's awkward and it's frustrating and there's anger, to me, that's funny. a lot ofomedians say if they can just make one person laugh. not me, if i could piss a group off -- >> jimmy: you're delighted. >> i don't know why that's funny. >> jimmy: we're going to take a quick break. >> why, are you tired? >> jimmy: we got to do a commercial for fresh balls. >> i don't need a break. i'm not sweating or anything. >> jimmy: howie mandel. "america's got talent" airs
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>> jimmy: we're back with howie mandel. of course your big hit show "america's got talent." >> yeah, it's going gangbuster. i hope people are watching it. tomorrow it's live. i mean, it's so huge. you don't realize how big things
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are till it starts taking off and you're doing extra things like now they're -- you know what they got me involved in? i'm going to get -- i'm getting my own ring tone. i can make -- >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, i'm working on it. they told me about it. >> jimmy: what is the -- >> ring -- no, wait. [ laughter ] ring. i haven't -- but i just was told yesterday so i'm trying -- >> jimmy: it's probably best that you don't say it now because people will record it and they'll steal it for free. >> oh. >> jimmy: yeah, you got to be careful. >> i don't even -- i didn't think of that. it was new. my own ring tone. ring. better get it. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> ring. i don't know if i should -- or like it gets progressively louder, right? if they don't answer. ring. ring. ring! like that. it could be like that. >> jimmy: i think that will be huge.
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you've got -- you're canadian. >> yeah, canadian. >> jimmy: english people as judges on the show. >> right. >> jimmy: that doesn't seem right to me. it's "america's got talent." aren't we entitled to a jury of our peers? [ applause ] i i mean, let's not -- i don't want to start a revolution or anything -- >> it's always easier to judge from the outside looking in. >> jimmy: you're right. >> it's like an unbiased opinion, right? because -- right? >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> i didn't know you were going to ask me that. we've all got green cards and we're here legally, youounow. we didn't sneak into the show. we didn't crawl under the studio wall and make our way in. >> jimmy: it still isn't right. we should have one american in there at least. >> i'm american. i became an american. >> jimmy: not in my book, sorry, howie. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. you seem to be trying to senend piers morgan back to his home country though. seeps to be your goal. >> i love annoying that man.
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he gets so annoyed just by the fact i exist, you know. and just to walk into his trailer before a show and see him -- he wears this florall satin house coat. this is the guy from cnn. he just wears that. >> jimmy: does he really? >> i think he does. he just paces back and forth. and he -- he wears a floral satin house coat and an ascot. he does. yes. and screams "breaking news." like that.t. he does. but i do bother him. if he hates something, i love it. >> jimmy: you love it, yeah. and you seem to love, like, the crazier of the acts. >> you know, people say that. it's notot true. the truthcy thi cis, i think i' discerning when it comes to talent. all kidding aside. when i grew up, i loved like "tiny tim." there's so many weird bizarre characters that we watched on -- they don't really exist anymore. the larry bud mehlman's. i think there's a place. if you look at tiny tim on the
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tonight show, it's highest ratings theyer got. when i see somebody a little off, a little eccentric, we should celebrate that character. people always get mad at me when i choose that over a singer. you can go into any ramada inn and see a singer. any cruise and see a singer. this craziness or somebody that's nutty enough to risk their lives, you don't see that. i used to wake up early in the morning to watch evel knievel jump snake canyon. now they're mad at me because i let the professor splash. >> jimmy: the guy that -- >> they debuted on your show. he's out of his mind. >> jimmy: yeah, into a l ltle thing -- >> 12 inches of water. he's an idiot. but i love that. but i mean that with love. >> jimmy: this is like -- >> but you know what, it was between him and a magician. we've seen a million magicians. more people know evel knievel's name than the average magician working in vegas. you can build a whole show around it. >> jimmy: your show should be called "america's got mental illness." >> well, it's not about me.
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let's talk about the other people. >> jimmy: you do have your own show coming up, right? >> i do, "mobbed," on fox. it's a flash mob show. we aired one. >> jimmy: it was a big special, right? >> it was a big special where somebody proposed to somebody. you knowowhat flash mobs are? a thousand people will break into dance and singing in a public place. >> jimmy: just suddenly? they're all over the internet and billions of people are looking at it. i thought, why not a show? you tell us, we'll bring them to a public place and we'll do it in a giant musical. which is good for -- but so i -- if you have a secret you want to share, go to i'm telling you, not to celebrate a birthday. if you want to quit a job. you want to tell your spouse that the fourth kid is actually a schwarzenegger. you want -- you want -- you want to leave somebody. you want a divorce. those are the kinds of things we'll do. we'll do it in a big musical splash. it starts again in october on fox. i hope you have me back on to
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promote that. >> jimmy: of course, we will be more than happy to have you on. >> "america's got talent" live tomorrow night at 9:00. our last quarterfinal. >> jimmy: very good. howie mandel, everybody. "america's got talent." there you go. be right back with bachelorette ashley. ♪ [ male announcer ] the new blackberry playbook. ♪ together we'll stand, divided we'll fall... ♪ [ male announcer ] it connects to your blackberry smartphone, using blackberry bridge. ♪ ...get on the ball and work together ♪ [ male announcer ] so you can enjoy the best of your phone, on your playbook. ♪ let's work together ♪ now, now, people ♪ because together we will stand... ♪ [ male announcer ] powerful. portable. playbook.
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>> jimmy: hello there. still to come on the show, some ukulele music because that's what america's been asking for from jake shimabukuro and i hope i got that right. guillermo, did i get that right? >> perfect. >> jimmy: thank you. after 25 suitors, 10 rose ceremonies and gallons of tears, earlier tonight, "the bachelorette" finally found her man. please welcome newly engaged ashley hebert
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[ applause ]enbaum. >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: did i not say this was the way to go? >> i knew this was first thing you were going to say. >> jimmy: being it was the first thing. did she tell you, j.p.? >> that you picked me from the beginning. >> did you see my face when you said that? >> jimmy: i didn't know what you were doing. i didn't know if that was an admission of guilt or you were faking it. one thing i like to say all the bachelorettes and bachelors have in common, very good liars in general. >> really? >> is that true? >> no, that's not true, babe. >> jimmy: see, you don't even know if it's true and neither do you know if it's true from him. for all you know this is another bentley trick. he's here if disguise right now. >> no. no chance.
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>> no. >> jimmy: i got news for you guys. bentley is here tonight. >> no. >> jimmy: see, i'm no that good of a liar. so you guys got engaged in what, ma? >> may. >> middle of may. >> jimmy: did they put you in some sort of underground bunker to hide you from the world? >> no, but we were in a very private house on a private island so it was verer romantic for a few days. >> jimmy: oh, for a few days? >> four nights. >> jimmy: okay. so nobody knew you were in there. >> no one had any idea. >> jimmy: and if somebody did find out you were in there, what would they do, drown them or something? how would they work that? >> i don't know. probably. >> we were on our own. >> jimmy: and did you screw up at any point and accidentally -- i mean, you have to be really very careful. >> not really. inadvertent text messages meant for her sent to somebody else. >> jimmy: really, like anthony weiner? who were they sent to? >> some of my friends. >> jimmy: what did you say? >> love you baby. what does this mean? >> jimmy: how did you -- what
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did you say? did you explain it? >> at that point, it was pretty recent. how do you explain it? there's no one i would talk to that way other than her. no family member. nobody. >> jimmy: you had to rely on your friends to keep their mouths shut. >> one guy i had to -- under penalty of death. >> jimmy: oh, really, wow. have you decided when you're going to actually get married? >> go ahead. >> we're really -- just want to focus on our engagement. i'm thinking like the end of next year. >> she's got -- is that what we're doing? she's got to finish school. she's going to move up to new york. we'll find a place. get settled. >> jimmy: so you'll live in new york together. you're finishing dental school. have you looked into judgme.p.' mouth? >> he sent me e s x-rays actually. >> jimmy: how romantic. wow, you two really are in love. so over the course of this time, you've been living in different
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cities. >> we have. >> jimmy: do you get together or how does that work? >> yeah, sorry, go ahead. >> go ahead. >> every two week, it's chaperoned to some extent. we get to see each other. and we live on skype. >> jimmy: you do? >> i don't watch any tv anymore. gym, home, three hour, of skype, sleep. >> jimmy: i think i know why you don't watch tv anymore. i thininwe have a clip. let's take a lack at our clip here. >> i don't think i'm going to sleep tonight. >> jimmy: here's what i want to know. this is the night before you guys got engaged. >> jimmy, how dare you show that. >> jimmy: i didn't do it. what do you mean? how dare you do that to my j.p. i told you. [ applause ] i told you to pick him. she's not getting a bachelorette party. she already had it. >> we can kind of laugh about it now. >> jimmy: you can. >> we can laugh about it. >> oh, laughing -- ear to ear,
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man. >> jimmy: how do you -- because i always wondered, how do you prepare somebody for that? >> i mean, i think i -- when i would watch the episodes, i would tell him, i think this is going to bother you. and then he watches it and finds 20 other things that bother him. >> jimmy: oh, really? surprisesethings. like what bothered you the most? like, that had to be it, right? >> i actually hadn't seen that till now so thanks. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: you didn't see the finale? >> just our parts together. >> jimmy: we like to come full circle at abc. we get you together and then we break you up later in the night. so you hadn't seen that. go ahead and have a discussion. we'll -- >> we'll talk about it later. >> i'm in trouble now, jimmy, thank you. >> jimmy: well, listen. he would have found out one way or the other. i'm glad it was in froro of friends. and now your sister also caused quite a commotion. >> i know. >> jimmy: and -- i still -- i
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can't believe that -- if it was me, i don't know if i'd ever forget it. maybe in ten years or something like that. tonight on the -- after the rose show, you said it was all water under the bridge and you were willing to forgive andnd kind o forget and move past. i don't buy that for one second. >> she's been nothing but sweet and supportive since we got back. it's as if i don't even know who that p pson was back in fiji. totally different person. >> jimmy: we've been good to jajan since the war too, i mean it's -- [ laughter ] you know, it's -- let's take a look at the clip, for those who did not see. >> i look at you and i wonder someone who's sort of been on his own for a while, sort of set in a routine, can you handle that much? >> i'm not set in my ways. i know it's all about compromise. i have a lifestyle in new york. but i do love her. and i do want to be with her. >> you think ashley is that person? out of everyone you've ever met. >> yeah, i do. >> i'm still struggling with
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whether, you know, whether it just makes sense altogether. >> jimmy: that's not going to fly. she can't come to the wedding. she's not going to be the maid of honor, is she? >> no, there's a battle for that now. >> jimmy: whoever else is in the battle, wins. >> i know. >> jimmy: because that's not a good toast for the wedding reception. yeah. and you guys i would imagine had it out over that because she really judged you based on like kind of like -- >> nothing. >> jimmy: like five minutes sitting at dinner together. really? maybe she was in love with you and she wanted you for herself. >> they're closer in age. >> oh, really? >> oh, no. babe. >> jimmy: how about -- she seemed to really like ben the next week. i think that was her overcompensating for having the prlem with j.p. wouldn't it be something if your sister married ben? that would be -- >> that would be awkward family vacation. >> jimmy: that would be the name of the show. "awkward family vacation." would you be okay with that?
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would that be a relationship you approved of? >> as long as they're happy, i'm happy. because i have him so -- it's all good. >> jimmy: i think he did pretty well. i really do. i think we identified you here at the show. we were all rooting for you. >> i was watching. >> jimmy: so you know what was going on here. it's embarrassing we get involved in your personal life. that shows we don't have a whole lot going on in ours. so -- okay, so the plan is you're going to -- you're going to figure out you're not rushing into anything because you shouldn't because you know a lot of these things, they go south. and then, you know -- i mean, listen -- >> jimmy: we're not going anywhere. >> jimmy: even on a honeymoon? >> well, okay, maybe. >> jimmy: where can you go for a honeymoon after you've been all over the world with this show? >> we talked about that. we're not going to try to top anything. we're just going to go somewhere to be alone and have a good time. we know we can't top what we just went through. >> jimmy: will you consider like the various after something like this happens "dancing with the stars" and all these different
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post-show kind of deals? >> don't look at me. >> jimmy: is that something you would be interested in? >> i mean, at this point, i feel like everything that's happened, i'm so emotionally drained that the only thing i want to do is be in new york with him and go for coffee in the morning and get back to that normal life. >> jimmy: congratulations. i hope it works out. it almost never does but you know whatt -- [ laughter ] who's to say it won't? >> jimmy. >> jimmy: listen -- >> optimism. >> jimmy: you have to understand, i've been through this like 16 times, okay. [ applause ] still all we have it trista and ryan. it's great to see you guys. congratulations. i hope that is true. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with jake shimabukuro. [ child's voice ] ooh, that looks good.
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[ child's voice ] can i have some? [ child's voice ] you guys should rock, paper, scissors for it. ok. [ chuckles ] best of three? sure. one-two-three-shoot. one-two-three-shoot. [ scoffs ] one-two-three-shoot. one-two-three-shoot. one-two-three-shoot. one-two-three-shoot. i win! oh, man.
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[ muffled ] congratulations. [ male announcer ] get your own bbq pulled pork sub at subway®. tender, slow-cookeowpork with irresistibly bold barbecue sauce. subway. eat fresh®.
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>> jimmy: hi there, we are back. this is his new album -- it's called "peace, love, ukulele." here with the song "bring your adz," jake shimabukuko. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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