tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC July 17, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EDT
♪ >> jimmy: ah, brock dingleman. my favorite students. >> jimmy: ah, brock dinkelman. come in, have a seat. give any more thought to scholarship applications? >> yeah, i want to get a football scholarship. >> jimmy: hmm. i was thinking more along the lines of a frisbee scholarship. >> what is a frisbee? >> jimmy: oh, well, look. there you go. just click here, answer a few questions on the webcam, and if you win, target will give you 100 frisbees. >> oh. can i eat them, bro? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, but let's see if you win first. okay? >> okay. >> i see you've applied for a target frisbee scholarship. let's begin. first, do an impression of a dog
catching a frisbee in its mouth. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: very good. very well done, yes. >> if you were a frisbee, what would you sound like if you were angry? >> jimmy: get angry! >> ehhhh -- >> jimmy: less rabies, more anger. that was inspiring. you might actually have a shot at winning this thing, guillermo or brock. >> dicky: target has all the stuff you need to get ready for college. go to targetstuffscholarships.com to see all the available scholarships. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with bryan cranston, larry king and zac brown band. [ applause ] if the same where true for guacamole, show us what that dance would look like. ♪ the wife. hey, babe.
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because vitamin d3 helps bones absorb calcium, caltrate's double the d. it now has more than any other brand to help maximize calcium absorption. so caltrate women can move the world. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- bryan cranston, larry king, and music from zac brown band, with cleto and the cletones.
and now, not only that, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. thank you for watching. thank you for coming here tonight. and being with us. appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, i have to say, i'm glad you're enthusiastic. you picked a great night to be here. we have music from zac brown band. we have, in my opinion, the best show on tv right now, bryan cranston. he's got a family-owned car wash in new mexico he wants to talk
about. i'm nervous. i don't know if we're getting nice bryan cranston or evil bryan cranston. larry king is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] larry has a new costco appearing tomorrow on the hulu, it was either that or wander on the beach with a medal detectser. i'd like to be there when they pitch larry on this hulu. i also want to ask larry about this trip to comic-con this weekend. bryan cranston was at comic-con. you know, there's always a lot of great costumes at comic-con. but you know what there's even not more of? not great costumes. a reporter was outside of san diego where she was fortunate enough to meet a real life bart simpson. >> how long did it take you to make that. >> it didn't take too long. almost like two weeks. >> and you do have some bart simpson sayings that just roll
right off your tongue? >> eat my shorts. >> jimmy: cowabunga, dude. on the other side of the country this weekend, nadya suleman, the octomom made her strip club debut at the playhouse gentlemen club. [ laughter ] i can see you're excited in allendale, florida. it had much more impact on the state of florida than anyone anticipated. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: you know, two strip clubs -- two strip clubs have been battling over the rights to the octomom's first stripping gig which is kind of like fighting over the middle seat for a 14-hour flight to japan. somewhere in the neighborhood of 400 people showed up to see the octomom take off her clothes.
it was like showgirls meet raiders of the arc. they also charged $10 for autographs. $25 for pictures and $200 for private dances. that's right, for $200, you could have four extremely uncomfortable minutes with the octomom. for those of hue couldn't make it, someone was there to take pictures. this was from the first dance of the night. dressed as a dominatrix. the crowds threw dollar bills, not because they were enjoying it, but they were trying to cover her up. this picture was from the second routine. she was dressed like a naughty schoolgirl, let's just play how many things are wrong with this picture. number one, the polka dot bar on the stage. number two, general lack of
enthusiasm from this guy. and this woman checking messages on the cell phone. third, we have this guy who might be taking a nap while a woman clings to him like a koala bear. number four, we've got a bottle of windex to clean up god knows what. and number five, the topless mother of 14 in pig tails bending over for -- [ cheers and applause ] by the way, those same dollar bills could very well end up under her kids' pillows for tooth fairy money. there was quite a scene. as most would probably pay not to see octomom strip. it was the big story on the news. >> nadya suleman, the octomom was in florida for a strip
performance. people came out to see the woman disrobe to the music of rihanna. after that, reaction was mix. >> it's horrible! it's horrible! >> ahh! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right. [ applause ] meanwhile, in silvis, illinois, the john deere classic golf tournament this weekend. this was from round three on saturday. golfer chris dimarco came up short. and the commentator used a term to describe it. >> don't discount this man. right in the middle. just a wiener length short. [ laughter ] [ applause ]
>> jimmy: tiger woods really has changed the game permanently. speaking of wieners, disgraced former new york congressman anthony weiner is reportedly running for office. anthony weiner who sent a picture of himself to a woman in underpants. they say he may run for mayor of new york in 2013. the new york post says he's seriously considering it. apparently, there are a few more wiener jokes that haven't been written yet, and he'd like to give us a chance to crank them out. [ applause ] in september, new york city, cab fares are going up. last week, the tax commission voted to raise tax fares by an average of 17% which people
aren't that happy about. the woman you're about to see could well be one of those unhappy people. hilly witter reported. >> the last hike was in 2005. ma'am -- >> it will be made at 10:00, we're live in columbus circle. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm not sure i agree with her delivery message, but she makes an excellent point. let's slow that down and watch it again and figure out what she was saying there. [ woman speaking ] >> jimmy: oh, more big news this week from the set of "american idol," on thursday, you probably heard it announced steven tyler
is not returning as a judge and jennifer lopez said she's going to leave the show to pursue her true passion which is maritime accounting. she's looking for small beneficiaryifishing boats. the show isn't sure who they'll get to replace lopez. ryan seacrest thought he came up with a good solution. producers say he can't be host and judges at the same time. everybody is wondering what randy jackson will do. randy's been there since day one. that was ten years ago. maybe he wants a change. i don't know, there's somebody who does know, he happens to work here at the show. here now with the latest, guillermo with the randy report.
>>ly, i'm guillermo with the latest on randy jackson. randy jackson is not goin ing anywhere. back to you in hollywood! [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. not going anywhere. don't worry. i do feel bad for -- he must be having abandonment issues. and then paula, cara and now steven and j. lo. is it possible that he smells? he's the only one that gave any kind of an opinion at all last year. i wonder if it will work with just him. ♪ how am i supposed to live without you now that i've been loving you so long ♪ >> i am really impressed and shocked.
randy. >> yes. >> you got it! >> welcome to hollywood! >> jimmy: i say try it. i think it will work. [ applause ] i'm sure the "american idol" producers have plenty of ideas as to who they would like to replace j. lo and randy. i would like to nominate flavo flav. flav was on a flight and he took the microphone and began to address his fellow passengers. >> right now, let's give a hand to our flight attendants right now for taking good care of us up here. [ applause ] >> you know, check this out, i want you y'all to know i do have a restaurant it's called flavo
flav. we've got potato salad, coleslaw and waffles, yeah. you say flav! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that had to be at -- there had to be at least two old white people on the plane that thought they were being hijacked, right? [ laughter ] this is interesting, psychologists have said for the first time since i.q. testing began 100 years ago, women have better scores than men. and those numbers including snooki and j. robb. we're still good at quoting caddyshack. one possible explanation is that women's lives have become more
demanding because they have to juggle their careers and raise a family. another possible explanation is they're not constantly distracted by boobs. [ applause ] why do i get the feeling this is not the last we'll hear about this? [ laughter ] this is a good one, i see a lot of weird youtube videos. but this one is unique. this is a video of a bushman in australia demonstrating the technique he uses to catch a kangaroo. guillermo, how would you catch a kangaroo? >> with a lasso. >> jimmy: here's how they do it in the bush. >> how to catch a kangaroo. to find one in the bush. here's one now. and you get your shopping bag.
and you put it down to the kangaroo and it will fall in. [ laughter ] >> and there you have the kangaroo. [ applause ] >> jimmy: the kangaroo just gave up. by the way, where are bushmen getting reasonable shopping bags? is there a trader joe's in the area? [ laughter ] you can find millions of strange videos on youtube. in fact, there's a new study that says youtube is a major resource now. the pew research center has a project for excellence in journalism, they find that more people go to youtube to watch coverage of news. most people don't realize that youtube has their own dedicated news channels. they actually do a good job with it. >> good evening, monday, july 15th, 2012.
a clam licked some salt off a table and it was awesome. brian marsh has the story. >> reporter: it was a clam not unlike any other clam. the clam was on the table. there was salt on the table an what happens next will maze you. at first, the clam appears motionless and suddenly what appears an enormous tongue that comes out from the clam and licks the salt. then it does it again. since the posting of this, numerous commenters have commented, quote, it was awesome when that clam licked that salt off that table. >> i was like, whoa, that clam is totally licking that salt. pretty awesome. >> reporter: at this point, the awesome clam licking the salt video has been viewed over 17,000 times. a number that's only likely to increase. brian marsh reporting. >> thank you, briern. when youtube news returns, we turn to china. look at this ridiculous chinese
man. he fails when we come back. [ applause ] >> jimmy: hey, we have a good show tonight. larry king is here. we have music from zac brown band, and we'll be right back with bryan cranston, so stick around. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] 123450 my name is jessica jackley, and i started kiva.org. kiva is the world's first micro-lending platform, where anybody can lend $25 or more to entrepreneurs around the world. this is the laptop we got jessica when she first went away to college. that was the beginning of the journey for me. it's incredible to have someone tell you that your child has had such a major effect on their lives. it's hard to believe that it started with just a dream and a laptop.
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hulu. it's called "larry king now." larry king is here. and then, with music from their new album, "uncaged," zac brown band from the bud light outdoor stage. tomorrow night, we'll be joined by russell brand, olivia munn, and we'll have music from matisyahu. charlie sheen will be here on -- what, wednesday, is he going to be here? we'll figure it out. snooki is going to be here that night too. that will be weird. kate beckinsale. we'll have music from rubble bucket and joe cocker and huey lewis together, so set your dvd-vcrs for that. our first guest tonight is the very best kind of tv chef. his specialty is methamphetamines. he plays high school teacher-turned-crime lord walter white on one of the best shows on tv ever. watch "breaking bad" sunday nights at 10:00 on amc. please welcome bryan cranston. [ cheers and applause ]
♪ >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> great to be here. i'm very excited. later on, i hear you have the larry king band playing. very exciting band. [ laughter ] >> oh, yeah, i have all their albums. >> jimmy: when he gets on the jug and the washboard, forget about it. did you talk to larry? >> i haven't had a chance to talk to larry. i look forward to it. >> jimmy: you had big ratings on "breaking bad." [ applause ] >> the best ratings. thank you very much. >> jimmy: i have to say, i think there's a reason for that. the show's a great show. but for me, i like to yell at the people if they're not watching the show. do you watch "breaking bad?" if they say no, are you kidding me? you've got to watch it, over and over again. they're like, all right.
i think people are doing that all over the country. >> yeah, it's gotten a lot of hits on the internet. and everybody is watching it. you know, people have a tendency not to go to something that's in his fifth season if it hasn't just started. i say, watch the first episode, then you'll know it's for you. then you'll know that you're a sick, sick person. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your character, walter white, is a bad guy. he kills people and he does -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and yet, i think of him as a good guy. i don't know, no matter what he does on the show, whether it be poisoning a child or just horrible things, i still root for him. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and i still think he's the hero of the show. >> thank you, that says a lot about you. it really does. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that what you want? or do you want us to not like him? >> you know, i think what's so fun about the show, it respects the audience's opinion no matter what it is. at the beginning, he was very
sympathetic. this poor guy has a special needs son. he's a chemistry teacher. he has apathetic students. >> jimmy: cancer. >> he's got cancer. he's going to die in two years. this poor guy happen dealt a bad hand. then he decides he's going to cook crystal meth for the last years of his life, give the money to his family and die. that's was it. now, we've gone to the dark side and we've taken other people with us. >> jimmy: i think the only person i ever felt that way about was tony soprano. you were rooting for him. when you were on malcolm in the middle which is a show i watched regularly as well -- you killed nobody there. >> killed somebody people. nobody knew about it. i was killing people all the time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were nominated for an emmy three times on that
show. you did not win. this show, you've been naum natu nominated three times. you won every single time. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're the same guy, the same actor. you had good material, obviously, in both shows. do people just respond more to bad guys and drama like that? >> i think perhaps it is. you look at the history of the oscars, really solid comedies never really got the respect that the best drama had, best picture, and had i known i would have gotten this kind of attention, i would have gone bad years ago. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your co-star, aaron paul, he's on twitter. he did something that's fun. tell the story. >> we were working in albuquerque, new mexico, just outside of this place that we're working, kind of a warehouse place is kind of a pay phone. first, who sees a pay phone anymore. there's a single pay phone right
on the walk. i thought it was a prop, so did he. went over, this is real. so he tweeted he was going to be at this pay phone for the next ten minutes, call him. and he got call after call. he got a call from australia. the philippines. england. boise, idaho. [ laughter ] >> he got a call from everywhere. as soon as he hung up, boom, another call. and he would answer it in his customary character of yo, bitch! [ laughter ] and i'd walk in, and he's waving me over. i'd come on, talk to them, talk to them. i got on and i said, this is walter white, you're taking my associate away from his duties. i'm going to come over to pay you a visit unless you hang up right now. [ laughter ] >> they're screaming. they're screaming. they can't believe it. but he's done that several times. >> jimmy: what's your first real
acting job? >> well, i was working as a background artist. an extra in hollywood in 1978 and 1979. and just learning the ropes, you know. and i did this one television movie back when they were making those, called "to race the wind." and it stars steve guttenberg. >> jimmy: excellent. >> nice guy. he plays a blind kid that goes to college. >> jimmy: awesome. >> right. and he's in a fraternity. and there's a fraternity football game. >> jimmy: wait a minute, he's playing football blind? >> as one would do, you always play football if you're blind, jimmy, come on, you know that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: does he like -- >> he's running around. don't tell him. just let him go. and the idea was, i was holding a football and watching how they're setting up the shot and learning by being on the set. and the director was a guy named
walter gromman. and walter would take ba naca and suck it and then he said, we have to have a football, it lands in steven guttenberg's hands and a touchdown for your team. he points to me. i did that thing, oh, me? he says, yeah. come over here. now, the scene takes place, you're in a new england town. very new england. he says, ever play football? yeah. have you quarterbacked? yes. are you any good? yeah. all lies. we say hike, take the ball. ready? i go, it takes place in new england. i go 44, 13 -- [ laughter ] >> chowder, hike! >> cut!
cut! he goes, what are you doing? i said, well, it takes place in new england, so i thought i'd -- authenticity -- just say hike! and i said, can i say hike? he goes, no! no! hike. >> jimmy: do you keep in touch with that director? >> never more. >> so "hike" was my entering into the screen actors gild in 1979. i still get residuals from that show, like three cents. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. when i come back, i want to ask you about the famous pizza scene from "breaking bad." bryan cranston will be right back. >> dicky: get the new "jimmy kimmel live" app and see what you've been missing. search jimmy kimmel in the itunes app store or go to jklapps.com to get it now. for their "destination weddi double miles you can "actually" use.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: larry king and zac brown band still to come. bryan cranston is here with us. there's only 15 episodes of "breaking bad" left which i just told my girlfriend, there's only 15 left. >> but there's still plenty of people to kill. >> jimmy: there are funny moments in the show. even though the show is very
intense, sometimes, odd things happen. the writing and directing is just fantastic. but there's a scene where you're angry at your wife and you throw a pizza on the roof. >> well, i tried to make peace with her by offering pizza which is a very male thing to do. what would a woman like? pizza. pepperoni pizza. a huge pizza and dipping sticks. how could she turn me down. so i'm at the door and i say, honey, can we come in and have a family meal? she said, no, get out of her. the idea that walt goes back to his car he's so upset about this, that he hurls the pizza and they want the pizza to land on the roof. not the box, but the pizza. the pizza is enormous. it could feed a football team. adam bernstein the executive
producer said i would like you to do when you get to the car. the roof is 15 feet away. it's not going to work. so i said, i can probably make it about this far, seven, eight feet away. the idea is i'm not trying to throw a pizza on the roof. i'm st frustrated. i can't watch where it's going. i just have to watch where it's going. they have monofilament ready. prop guys are going to throw it and it's going to land right on the camera. you see me in the car. that's the plan. it's going to take us three or four hours to get there. first take, i get out. i have the pizza. i'm frustrated. i toss it, i throw it. the box goes falling. i hear that fall. i get in the car, and i drive off. i hear, cut! i hear everybody, oh, my god! i see the pizza is on the roof in the perfect position. and i said -- did you guys put that up? no, that's where it landed.
you threw it and it landed right there, my god! >> jimmy: that was the first take? >> the first take. >> jimmy: we have that clip. it will be fun to show it for those who haven't seen it. there you're angry. [ laughter ] amazing! [ applause ] >> so now adam says to me, okay. now, on take two -- i said what do you mean take two? how can you do better than that? >> jimmy: yeah. you did the right thing. the show is great. it's so great to have you here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: only 15 episodes left. you can watch it. "breaking bad" airs sunday nights at 10:00 on amc, and bryan cranston will also as i saw in the promos last night "total recall" opens in theatres august 3rd. with colin farrell.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we're back. the zac brown band. it's been a year and a half since our next guest said "topeka kansas you're on with naomi judd." now, he is back to work on a new show called "larry king now." it premieres tomorrow on hulu. please say hello to larry king. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: great to see you. >> wow. good to be back, jimmy. >> jimmy: you have a big announcement you to make tonight. you have the new show. although i just made it, i guess. >> you said -- it's actually tuesday now, you start at midnight. >> jimmy: technically, it is tuesday. >> not technically, it is tuesday. so tonight, tuesday is the
premiere of "larry king now" on hulu on our own network called aura, tv. >> jimmy: whose network is this? >> carlos slim and i. >> jimmy: who is the richest man in the world. >> yes. >> jimmy: how do you know the richest man in the world? >> he gives a scholarship to students and he asked me to come and speak. which i did. and he did my show on cnn. we were talking about ideas, as to what i might do after i left. we thought up this concept of coming to the internet. that was the vision. my wife encouraged me to do this to get me out of the house. [ laughter ] >> and we have a great ceo, john housman, got him from fox.
we start tonight or tomorrow night. >> jimmy: you have guests on the show? >> yes, seth mcfarland is the first guest. turned out fortuitous with "ted." great movie. >> jimmy: did you see "ted"? >> i saw it twice. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i don't think about that as being your type of movie. >> are you crazy, seth mcfarland is crazy. i'm a modern guy. >> jimmy: okay. do you look at pornography on the internet? >> no, i do not. >> jimmy: but you like ted? >> but i like ted. i really like ted. we had guests like matthew mcconaughey. seth mcfarland, betty white. meghan mccain, john mccain's daughter. you? >> jimmy: i'd be happy to come on. >> the new studios in glendale.
i never thought i'd miss it as much, i love this show. >> jimmy: you do? >> i love hulu. they're great people, hulu. >> jimmy: they're not people. it's a website. larry, you've just got to try. they're a website. >> i'm just very excited about it. i think it's a great way to come back. you know when i look at my life, i started the first national network radio show. >> jimmy: that's right. i used to listen to that every night. >> you were a little child. >> jimmy: yes, i was. i was never a little child but -- >> i started the first worldwide call-in television talk show, cnn. >> jimmy: that's right. >> now, this. as your producers told me, i'm kind of like a pioneer. >> jimmy: you are like a pioneer. we need to get you a hat with a tail on it or something and a
musket. >> and the stage coach going west. we fly over. >> jimmy: i heard you were just in azerbaijan? >> i was. >> jimmy: why were you there? >> they invited me to come and speak. azerbaijan, do you know where that is? >> jimmy: no? >> how far from london, right? it was endless in the air. azerbaijan is an incredible city. an oil city. south of moscow. four hours south of moscow. it's somewhere out there. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> modern hotels that you can see on hills. beautiful city. and i did love it. i've been to kazakhstan, lisbon, seoul, south korea.
i've been doing comedy tours. i'm going back to doing this. >> jimmy: you like sitting down, talking to people. >> ask confessions, bitching it up. >> jimmy: will you take phone calls? >> no because we can't do it live on the internet. >> jimmy: or go on twitter and say now, hey, now, i'm taking phone calls. >> i am on twitter. >> jimmy: but you put a thing on twitter and say, hey, i've got seth mcfarland in the studio, call me right now. >> i could do that. >> jimmy: you see that, larry. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i like it when you announce the city. i like that. >> you, you, you -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: very, very clever, yeah. i know a lot of times when an athlete will retire, you wind up back in the house. everyone's disturbed. i know your kids are teenagers right now. >> my kids are 13 and 12. one is from ing baseball camp in
bradenton, florida. where a lot of major leaguers went. the other is at baseball camp at byu in provo. the 13-year-old, i'm taking to new york for the dodger/mets series. then he goes into football camp. he's going to play tackle camp. and the other one iss going int football camp. and at cooperstown, to baseball camp. and i'm running back and forth. >> jimmy: i see why you need a job. >> i think they wanted me out. >> jimmy: chasing around to little league games. >> i love sports. someone of my age to have kids, you know, i'm the age of a grandfather, and i'm a father. >> jimmy: right. >> and i have to do -- be the kind of -- it's an interesting life. >> jimmy: i would think so. i saw you at a restaurant once, your kids were running around,
and you looked like you wanted to kill yourself. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i wish you the best of luck with it. i'd be more than happy to chat with you on the internet. it starts tonight. not tomorrow. tonight. hulu or go to aura tv. larry king, everybody. we'll be right back with zac brown band! [ applause ] ♪ let's test it. [ whirring ] cheese me. [ beeps ] [ beeps ]
♪ >> jimmy: this is the new cd. it's called "uncaged." here with the song, "the wind," zac brown band! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ 30,000 feet above the city where i fell in love with you ♪ ♪ and the fadin' concrete skyline brings an urban lullaby that still rings true ♪ ♪ when i passed you on the street that day should've let that red scarf fly away ♪ ♪ like any chance i had of keepin' you like the northern wind a blowin' ♪ ♪ yeah my lonely heart was frozen never knew i'd find a way to break yours too ♪ ♪ where the wind blows babe you can bet i'll be ridin' high with it ♪ ♪ holdin' on for my dear life
just like i always did ♪ ♪ close your eyes babe take a breath say my name and i'll be there ♪ ♪ my love will find you anywhere anywhere my love ♪ ♪ ♪ the city lights look like a country sky staring at the stars turned upside down ♪ ♪ i wish i may i wish you might find it in your heart to stick around ♪ ♪ i hate it had to end this way tomorrow is a brand new day ♪ ♪ and the chances here at love are precious few someone's out there waiting ♪ ♪ for a sweet good timing lady to make you smile the way i always wanted to ♪ ♪ where the wind blows babe you can bet i'll be ridin' high with it ♪ ♪ holdin' on for my dear life just like i always did ♪ ♪ close your eyes babe take a breath say my name and i'll be there ♪ ♪ my love will find you anywhere anywhere my love ♪