tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC November 2, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT
fios is not cable. we're wired differently. so we wired the wagner's house th 100 meg internet. which means in the time it takes mr. wagner to pour a 20 oz. cup of coffee, tommy can download 30 songs, and jan can upload 120 photos. 12 seconds. that's the power of fiber optics. this is your last chance to get super fast 100meg internet, tv and phone for just $69.99 per month online. this is your final week to get this great deal.
encounters with the police. last month he was removed from a high school football stadium. jonathan: 7 on your side with a consumer alert about dehumidifiers that overheat and catch fire. they were all made by the company media, but were sold under dozens of brand names. so far there have been 38 fires, nobody was hurt. the dehumidifiers were sold at lowe's and menard's over 10 years between 2003 and 2013. there is a list on our website, wjla.com. alison: do you go out at night? smart phone apps to prevent women from being victims. scott has some apps trying to keep you safe. scott: it's a growing problem on
women will be raped at some point in their lives. >> the technology in general is very good. scott: she is the is executive director at the victim and basic group you have the power, know how to use it. there are dozens of apps to help. one is called be safe. friends can virtually walk with you via gps until you reach your destination. if you are in danger, there alarm and automatically turns on the flashlight and records video and alerts contacts. >> it's great because females are prone to predators. they are always targeting women especially. scott: there is even a feature to program a fake call if you're blind date is not working out. another neat app's circle of six, which means six friends that you add with the touch of a button.
location if you need a ride and you can report a sexual assault. be careful to you add because the majority of college students who wind up being victims know their attackers. circle of six allows your contacts to know your exact location. it's important to do research first on any app and read the terms and conditions. these apps cannot prevent you from being attacked, but they may aid in your survival. alison: 7 on your side has compiled a list for you of additional personal safety apps. going to our website, wjla.com and click on the 7 on your side page. jonathan: 7 on your side with an alarming increase in the number of local students taking weapons to school. tomorrow, a story that you will see only on abc 7 news at 11:00. chris papst spent months collecting data from local schools and found the troubling spikes that some parents have not been told.
weapons. which districts have seen the largest increase and what school officials are doing about this. steve: we have a cold front that is out there to the north and west. reining in detroit, reining in chicago, and cleveland at this hour. the cold front will move its way in tomorrow, but had a bit and have push of warmer temperatures. 11:00, lower 60's across much of the area. forecast lows, this time of year. don't see this very often. tomorrow morning, middle to upper 50's. the kids may ask if they can wear shorts to school. let them do it this time around. it will be a warm day. daytime highs around 80 degrees, and likely to tie, maybe break the record at dulles, bwi, and reagan national airport full stop the record is 80 degrees.
question. cold front moves through, bring the umbrella. midday is when showers are likely to develop along the mason-dixon line. the wind out of the south as we move through the midday. once the front slips through later in the evening, we will see the wind change direction. with that will do was push the cool air in from the north and west, gusty wind developing friday. the highs tomorrow, 80 degrees. friday we are looking at windchil f you ready for this -- upper 40's, lower 50's. about a 30 degree drop stop 62 saturday, we fall back with daylight savings time early sunday morning. a beautiful weekend with lots of sunshine. check out the fall color changeful stop monday, lower 60's. no excuses tuesday not to vote, it will be beautiful, a mixture
and i lean good morning washington" will track the cold front tomorrow -- veronica and eileen on "good morning washington" will track the cold front tomorrow. alison: one
channel wants to help you relax after casting your ballot. jonathan: and uber wants to get you where you want to go, but are they taking it too far?
alison: are you feeling election related frustration? jonathan: yes. alison: you are not alone and the weather channel wants to help. on election day they will air nine hours of soothing videos. they say they want to give you a calm election day viewing option as an option to all the coverage. jonathan: that is so of them, a moment of zen. vice president joe biden took time out from politics in florida to flip on his shades. vice president biden: i'm sorry. i'm doing this because maybe when i need a job, ray-ban will be my sponsor. jonathan: joking about the iconic ray-ban sunglasses. he said he had been wearing them since he was 15, but they are popular.
glasses. 7 on your side with consumer news and uber rolling out new features. you will be able to request day ride directly to find a friend, no need to know their location. just type in their name to a new feature and burress's the friend for approval to share their whereabouts, and then you are driven to your friend. the update will make information like our options and pricing readily available. the feature will roll out gradually in the coming weeks. jonathan: alison: a lot to talk about. jonathan: they needed some action. robert: they needed a little weather challenge. the wizards finally played their first home game of the season. did they finally get their first
fios is not cable. we're wired differently. so we wired the wagner's house th 100 meg internet. offee, tommy can download 30 songs, and jan can upload 120 photos. 12 seconds. that's the power of fiber optics. this is your last chance to get super fast 100meg internet, tv and phone for just $69.99 per month online. this is your final week to get this great deal.
ties it at 92-92. the wizards fall 113-103, and are now 0-3 on the season. >> there's no question, this is not the start we wanted to half, but it is the start we have. the only way to get out of it is to stay together, work together, and practice habits and focus on playing good basketball for 48 minute robert: the oops of the night, sam dekker, all alone on the breakaway, but yeah, uh-oh, hit a speed bump or something. don't know what happened. check the defender.
steve: another warm day tomorrow, near 80 degrees, likely to tie or break records at all the local airports. will not last long, back into the 50's friday, upper 50's, lower 60's. daylight savings time, fall back one hour early sunday morning. day, temperatures in the middle 60's. jonathan: you said tomorrow, six minutes away from today. jimmy kimmel is next.
northern virginia, on the issues, barbara comstock and donald trump are the same. comstock and trump promote deportation and reject any comprehensive immigration reform. both oppose background checks eep guns from suspected terrorists. and comstock-trump were prepared to shut down the government just for politics. time for luann bennett: comprehensive immigration reform now. common sense gun safety laws. bennett tells congress: do your job. i'm luann bennett and i approve this message. i'm luann bennett fios is not cable. we're wired differently. we guarantee to make switching easier. we' show up on time. you're right on time. as promised, to install fios and set up the wi-fi that
[ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for everything, really. thank you for coming. wow, glad you're in a good mood. witness, the spectacle you are about to behold, is our most special special effects show of the whole year. tonight we will be broadcasting from three cities at the same time. i will be in two of those cities. i know, it's amazing, thank you. let's begin by going live to the cma theater at the country music hall of fame in nashville, tennessee. [ cheers and applause ] hello, nashville! are you ready to see magic
okay, let's do it. right now i'm on the screens but we're going to fire up the hologram machine. fire it up and beam me in, captain. here i am! [ cheers and applause ] i don't know why you guys are excited. hi, everyone. you know, this is the third year in a row we've done this. i still have absolutely no idea how it works. by the way, those of you in nashville, feel free to post an instagram of my hologram because i don't think that's ever been done. go ahead and snap away. hey, do you guys want to see a puppet show? [ cheers and applause ] hold on, i'll be right back.
my little friend guillermo. look at that. guillermo, say howdy to the people in nashville. >> guillermo: howdy, nashville! >> jimmy: how are you doing tonight, guillermo? >> guillermo: jimmy, i will be happy if you don't put your hand up my >> jimmy: can i get a glass of water? watch this. all right, here we go. ghn >> guillermo: i want some water too, can i have some water? can i get water? please, water? water! >> jimmy: isn't that incredible? >> guillermo: hello, water! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i can talk while he's doing it. while he's drinking water, i can also talk. is that enough water?
all right. thank you, poquito bandito, now back to your post. there we go. [ cheers and applause ] i want to try something in nashville in the theater. i need a volunteer from the audience for this. okay, do we have somebody lined up? all right, i'm fairly sure this has never been done before. this is a television first. oh, okay. wait, hold on. oh. hi, what's your name? >> jessica liner. jimmy, how you doing? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: see, this is when we appreciate our local weather men. because they have this all figured out. jessica, let me have that right, this is a graham cracker. you've seen these, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay. i am going to feed this graham cracker to you. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right? there you go. eat that. yes, yes, yes. enjoy. is it good? >> mmm-mmm!
world's first-ever hologram-cracker. [ cheers and applause ] get it. >> guillermo: i get it, yeah. >> jimmy: all right, thank you. all right, thank you, jessica. you know, this show's been on almost 14 years, we're still breaking new ground, it is incredible. of course the main reason i'm with you via hologram tonight is because you state. and i need your vote to make sure i become vice president of the united states. [ cheers and applause ] may i have my podium? where is my podium? thank you. dear fellow nashvilleagers, is it? it is an honor to be in nashville with you tonight. i love so many things about
fish, the goo goo clusters, fruit tea, and meat and three, whatever the hell that is, i love it all. i love your unfortunately named hockey team the predators. i love bush whackers, shownies, maxwell house coffee, and the fact that nashville has the largest population of kurdish people in the united states. and did i just read all of this stuff off of wikipedia this afternoon? yes, i did. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and as a result, i know that i can doubt count on your vote. i am the best possible voice to be vice president of the united states. but don't just take it from me, take it from a real-life cowboy! >> guillermo: i am a cowboy! and i endorse this man! >> jimmy: all right, thank you. i might never let you out of that little outfit, i swear to god. >> guillermo: i like it. >> jimmy: i like it a lot.
the world series between the long-suffering indians and the even longer-suffering chicago cubs. what a year for the city of cleveland. they host the world series, won an nba title, got to see chachi speak at the republican national convention. incredible. we don't know the outcome of the game but we will by the time you're watching this at home. so just to cover my bases i'd like to say either congratulations or i'm sorry to the cubs or indians on their big victory or devastating loss, whichever that may be. [ cheers and applause this is going to be the highest-rated baseball game in many, many years. people all over are very interested to see the cubs go from being a team that hasn't won a world series in 108 years to being a team that won one time in 1108 years. which sounds worse but fans in chicago have been on an emotional roller coaster, especially ryan slagle.
series. the video made the rounds. he's known as crying ryan to everyone he knows. we tracked ryan down, sent him to game five. game seven is in cleveland. right now ryan is in wrigleyville where they're going crazy, sluggers sports bar, ryan how are you doing? [ cheers and applause ] ryan, first of all, what's the score? is there any score yet in the game? >> we're ready to go team's fired up, we're ready to go tonight. >> jimmy: what i want to know is are your friends still making fun of the crying? >> i was a halloween costume so that was good. i have a new dance called the hyperventilate, so that's a real hit. they're currently doing research on a new sports anxiety medication testing right now.
endorsement deal. do you think you will cry more tonight if the cubs win or lose? >> well, win. because we are going to win. we're already up. >> jimmy: okay, all right. will you be going to work tomorrow? >> i have no idea, really depends how tonight goes. >> jimmy: you may have to call in drunk, all right. [ laughter ] >> love you, jimmy! >> jimmy: good luck to you guys, sluggers in wrigleyville, i know it's crazy thanks, jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that looks like fun. earlier tonight on the cmas, we honored country music's brightest stars with trophies. later on we'll punch those very same stars with an all-country music edition of "mean tweets." first we have a cautionary tale for you. for lovers of both music and affordable furniture, i came across a story recently online about a man from norway.
rstad. he bought a shower stool from ikea. once he got home and sat on it something unpleasant happened. when he sat down, a key part of his body became stuck in one of the holes. i know. it's a hard story to hear. rather than just tell you about it we enlisted the help of a young singer named justin moore who was kind enough to give voice to this terrible tale of a norwegian nut with a very sad sac. >> this here's a story about a tough buy with a big problem. ? ? down in norway town there lived a lad ? ? he went by the name klaus jorstad ? ? took an ikea chair into the shower sat on it about an hour ? ? see the holes and all the love
stuff ? ? no matter how much he'd twist and shout ? ? sha little bitty sucker wouldn't pop out ? ? oh devil stool you are just so cruel ? ? give me back my family jewel you devil stool ? ? klaus said to himself so mad he could spit, i'm in a different kind of ikea ball pit ? ? this school's name should have clued me in testing for pinching ? after the yellow that worked at ikea come up with such a cruel cruel idea ? ? you'd have to be a sadistic soul to make a stool with a nut-sized hole ? ? klaus tried every trick he knew lathered himself tried wd-40 cocoa butter ? ? hoe couldn't pull that nutter right out ? ? suddenly the heat ran out and
spout ? ? and klaus well he just up and shrunk and the devil stool freed up his junk ? ? oh devil stool you played me for a fool ? ? but you ain't laving now you devil stool ? ? oh devil stool i'm free from you ? ? damn you straight to hell you devil stool ? >> brought to you by ikea meatballs. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have to take a break. when we come back, i have three ridiculous questions for willie nelson, miranda lambert, florida georgia line, dolly parton, chris stapleton and more in an all-country edition of "mean tweets" so stick around!
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book, "pretty paper." a lot
of questions are answered in this book. >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: but not these. my first question for you, if you were going to die fighting an animal, what animal would you want it to be? >> a rabbit. >> jimmy: a rabbit? why a rabbit? >> i think i can last longer. >> jimmy: but they kill slowly. >> they do. >> jimmy: imagine being killed by a rabbit. >> yeah, that's not good. >> jimmy: what do you think of
>> be nice for a horse. >> jimmy: but not a human? >> well, i don't think so. not for -- no, i wouldn't want a human named that, no. would you? >> jimmy: i don't know, kenneth -- >> you'd want to be swinging a kenneth around all day? no, no. >> jimmy: have you ever used an emoji? >> last night. >> jimmy: you did? >> i think i did. what's it do to you? >> jimmy: i'm guessing the answer is no. well, two emojis. a smiley face. >> crown royal. the answer to all life's ridiculous questions. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. jessica chastain and music from hunter hayes is on the way. hello to those of you joining us in nashville, tennessee, which as you know was home tonight to the 50th annual cma awards. country music is very important.
it was a special show tonight. 50 years, celebrating 50 years of cmas. dolly parton received the willie nelson lifetime achievement award which is literally the highest honor you can display on a shelf alongside a bong. [ laughter ] dolly got that, then a special performance tonight from beyonce on the country music awards. which is exciting. and i'll say another thing. between "lemonade," the world series, "the has been an amazing year for baseball bats. bow beyonce dead her song "if you like it you should put a ring of fire on it" or something like that. country music fans are some of the most appreciative and enthusiastic fans of all forms of music. i see it when we have artists on the show. the fans, they're excited, upbeat, they don't steal music, they buy it, a solid group. just like any group of fans there are rotten apples. tonight we invited some of
apples wrote about them and they graciously accepted that offer. it's time for our second all-country music edition of "mean tweets." >> just because you have a beard, a ponytail, and a cowboy hat doesn't mean you can sing. you know how i know? trace adkins. just concerning. >> bonnie raitt looks like the aunt w many at your mom's birthday party and try to fight your dad. >> randy houser, more like ballooner who's-er. [ bleep ] sucks big dong. huge dong even. that's funny. >> cassadee pope would be 6,000% hotter without that [ bleep ] tattoo. you mean this one? >> that swaggy [ bleep ] 300 says, if you're going crazy over dan and shay, you might as well take your [ bleep ] and shove it
#notcountry. >> i'd love to see that. >> wow. >> hey, eat [ bleep ]. i will not listen to your [ bleep ] play list on spotify. >> jane that kramer tries to hard with her texas accent, lol, girl stop. you ain't fooling anyone. i'm sorry, y'all. >> gregor smith is not cute. [ bleep ]. >> in case of a national emergency, all air traffic be redirected to miranda lambert's forehead. >> the guy from florida georgia line were engineered in a douche factory. right down the road from here, actually. >> i went to jake owen last year and was miserable as [ bleep ]. [ bleep ] super lame. i'm really sorry, @cocaine. >> why does the blond in little big town have hair like a "zoolander" villain?
determined brett eldribble is always drunk. i don't know, maybe he is. i like your mom. >> seems like the kind of guy that would drink bacardi breezers from a water bottle then lie about what it was. okay, maybe. >> looks like jennifer law lawrence's less-attractive sist pal. >> it's not a hooker convention, it's a dolly parton concert. i guess i should feel hurt. but i don't. because i pattern my look after a hooker. >> i think it's safe to say stapleton has an insane pubic hair situation. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. tonight we have a hologram named hunter hayes from nashville, my
trick-or-treaters, be right back with jessica chastain! >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by green giant. swap in more veggies with new green giant veggie tots. it's endless shrimp at red lobster. with another new flavor you never saw coming... grilled, glazed korean bbq shrimp. and try as much as you want of flavors like new parmesan peppercorn shrimp.
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the clowns are getting scarier all the time. s sluggers bar in wrigleyville. welcome back to our post-cma palooza, coming to you live from both hollywood and the cma theater in nashville, tennessee. tonight with this single "yesterday's song" a very special performance by hunter hayes from the crown royal stage. [ cheers and applause ] tonight, hunter hayes will be playing with himself. hunter will be playing drums, bass, guitar, keyboard, and singing with the help of four hologram hunter hayeses who are all standing by in his dressing room now. hi, hunters. >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: you ready for the show? >> hayes yeah. >> that's a joke we always say. >> jimmy: i can see why you love that one, hilarious. which of you is the real hunter? >> he is! >> he is! >> he is! >>. >> jimmy: all right, that's good. they're having fun.
other. we'll see you later. >> see yeah! >> see ya! >> jimmy: thanks to hologram usa for making all this hologram magic possible. tomorrow jamie dornan, khloe kardashian, nashville's own kings of leon and we have a special bonus edition of our halloween candy youtube challenge so many parents sent so many great videos in late, we had no choice but to go another round so more sugar-fueled tantrums tomorrow night. our first guest is a golden globe-winning actress who helped new movie "miss sloane" comes out in select cities november 5th and opens wide december 9th. please say hello to jessica chastain! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: welcome. how's it going? >> everything's great.
creepy guillermo dance. >> jimmy: well, you know -- >> guillermo: hi. >> jimmy: it's a good thing you didn't wear green tonight or you too could have been a part of it. yeah, isn't he cute, though? it is something like -- i'm not sure if it's adorable or -- >> it's not adorable. >> jimmy: it's not adorable? >> no. >> jimmy: you don't like little guillermo? >> it's the hands. the fingers don't move and there's not even five fingers are there? >> jimmy: that's true. >> it's just like weird. >> jimmy: you have such attention to detail. >> imagine those things touching you, it would be like this. >> jimmy: i don't have to imagine, we had a very intimate rehearsal today. [ laughter ] by the way, say hello to nashville, we have an audience watching us in nashville right now. >> hi, nashville. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: have you ever been to nashville? >> i have. i was in memphis which i love -- >> jimmy: that's a different place. >> no, i was in tennessee, i was in memphis, never been to
true you're going to be playing tammy wynette in a movie coming up? [ cheers and applause ] >> i am. >> jimmy: you're going to have to go there. >> yeah. yeah, i'm playing tammy wynette in a movie with josh brolin playing george jones. >> jimmy: oh, he'll be great. that will be good. by the way, that is -- i think when you play a country music star your chance of getting nominated for an oscar multiplies by 140%. >> you think? i'm sure it's the sparkles, right? it's the the music is great. you show another side of yourself as a performer. i think that's a very strong move. >> yeah. >> jimmy: they have an interesting story. well, as i'm sure you know. >> yeah, really interesting story. i read georgette jones' book about growing up with her parents and it's fascinating. it was really rocky, their relationship. >> jimmy: yeah. >> they're like the sid and nancy of the country music world.
whole life. >> jimmy: then they sang apart as well. >> i know. >> jimmy: are you a baseball fact that? are you aware of of what's going on with the cubs and indians? >> someone told me backstage that the world series is happening? >> jimmy: it is. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so the answer to that question is no. >> i'm glad -- i did play little league when i was a little kid. >> jimmy: what position? >> shortstop. >> jimmy: well, you must have been -- that's usually the best player plays shortstop. >> i always wanted to play -- i was definitely not the best player. i wanted to play my dad coached the team. >> jimmy: ah, that explains why you played shortstop. >> yeah. but then i was terrible at baseball. so i would always get demoted to the outfield. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> and they just kind of doing whatever while the ball would land and people would say, run, run! >> jimmy: even the terminology you're using explains -- [ laughter ] >> am i saying something wrong? >> jimmy: the ball doesn't land. it doesn't have a pilot.
i'd be up to bat, you know -- >> jimmy: let's see your batting stance. give us a little bit of it. [ cheers and applause ] >> like this. >> jimmy: pretty good. that's pretty good. yeah, you keep your elbow up. >> follow the thumb. >> jimmy: all right, yeah, all right. that was pretty good. not bad at all. >> all right. so i would hit the ball and i would just try to get home as fast as i can. so even if the ball went straight to the pitcher i would just run all the way bases. >> jimmy: you would not stop? >> no. i wouldn't stop. all the parents in the stands would be screaming, stop on first, stop, stop, stop! i'm like, i got this! >> jimmy: you were an aggressive player. kind of a pete rose type really. >> no idea who that is. >> jimmy: really? no idea? >> pete rose? [ cheers and applause ] >> the last time you were here, you brought this fruit. i forget what it was called. >> durien. how could you forget?
>> jimmy: the king of fruit. this fruit smelled so bad. it's like an asian delicacy, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that we were instructed to wear gloves before touching it because the smell, until you die, the smell will not come off your hands. >> i normally eat it without gloves but i wanted to protect your delicacy, your sensitivity. >> jimmy: right, yeah. i am a delicate little flower, yeah. >> a delicate little flower. you didn't seem to like it that day. >> jimmy: it smelled like vomit to star because it became a big deal online. seems like mostly in other countries, people were very excited that we ate their fruit. >> yes. they're very proud of this fruit. it's a delicious -- i'm sorry, jimmy, it's a delicious fruit. >> jimmy: do you have it still regularly? >> i have it in the dressing room. >> jimmy: you did not. >> no, every time i can get ahold of it i eat it, it's delicious. >> jimmy: you described it as it smelled like a corpse, right? >> yeah. well, it smells like -- it's
avocado, pineapple, garlic, custard -- >> jimmy: the taste was better than the smell for sure. >> really. >> jimmy: you're a vegan so you don't eat -- when did this happen to you? >> there's one vegan in the audience. >> jimmy: there are a lot of vegans in the the audience. they're too weak to clap. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how did it happen that you became a vegan? >> you know, i drinking coffee all day. someone said, try to eat healthy. >> jimmy: this was as an adult? it wasn't like you were a kid? >> no, ten years i've been vegan. >> jimmy: you don't miss it? do you miss meats at all? >> no, not at all. sometimes if i see like a d domino's pizza, oh, i would love a piece. but there's delicious vegan pizza. >> jimmy: what about at thanksgiving when the turkey comes out? do you feel like, oh, i wish i could have some of that? >> never. >> jimmy: never? >> never, no.
things. like yams and green beans. >> jimmy: yams, huh? [ laughter ] >> potatoes. >> jimmy: wow. you're making the most of a very sad situation. [ laughter ] when we come back we'll see a clip from your new movie. jessica chastain is here. we'll be right back! >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by new crown royal vanilla whiskey. vanilla so good. it's time to snap out of it. hello moto. snap on a jbl speaker. a projector. a camera that actually zooms. it's a phone you can change again and again and again. hello moto. get excited world. moto is here. the new moto z with motomods. buy one moto z droid, get one free. only on verizon. discover card. i'm not a customer, but i'm calling about that credit scorecard.
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