actually sticking his finger in people's [ bleep ]? >> i think he is but i think that's the point. >> good luck, thank you for joining us. >> [ bleep ] you. >> yes, sir. >> d? >> there is a d. >> another one bites the [ bleep ]. >> good for you. >> raise your hand if you've been [ bleep ]ed by a passenger. really? what the [ bleep ] is going on up there? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight music from post malone. from the chicago bulls, jimmy butler is here. we'll be right back with sarah silverm silverman! >> dicky: portions of linebacker live brought to you by xyzal. ♪ [laughter]
we all drive... some just for the fun of it. ♪ i'm not a customer, but i'm calling about that credit scorecard. give it. sure! it's free for everyone. oh! well that's nice! and checking your score won't hurt your credit. oh! i'm so proud of you. well thank you. free at at discover.com/creditscorecard, even if you're not a customer.
of providing reliable energy and that'll never change. what is changing, is our name to dominion energy. it's a reflection of our commitment to energy innovation and renewable sources like solar, wind... and cleaner energy like natural gas. and we'll continue to innovate, upgrade technology, protect our environment and serve our communities. dominion energy. more than a new name, a new way of seeing energy. the insurance companies and the credit card companies and the wall street banks - that's what tom perriello is about. i was proud to stand with president obama because progressive causes have been my life's work.
to reduce economic inequality, raise wages, eliminate the burden of student debt and protect our climate. together we really can build a virginia that works for everyone. >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight, he's an all-star from the chicago bulls. jimmy butler is with us. then, his album is called "stony," i think because he loves to smoke drugs but i don't want to jump to conclusions, post malone from the mercedes-benz stage tonight. sunday night, this is hard to follow. grab a pen. we'll obtain air again for game two of the nba finals on sunday. before the game on the east coast and central time. after the gam
and our 10th annual nba game night special with robert downey jr. and tom holland from spider-man homecoming. new shows next week in both primetime and late night with gwyneth paltrow, michael keaton, sean "diddy" combs, mandy moore, jerrod carmichael, mike tyson, will ferrell, owen
wilson, zach lavine, jamal crawford and we will have music from ryan adams, charlie wilson featuring robin thicke, and bebe rexha with lil wayne. seems like too many guests, right? call three of them and tell them to stay home. [ laughter ] our first guest is an emmy-winning actress and comedian and so many other things we just don't have time to mention. her funny new stand-up comedy special "sarah silverman: a speck of dust" is on netflix now. please say hello to sarah silverman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> jimmy: how are you? may i say, i don't know what's going on with you but you smell good now. [ laughter ] >> you know my smell is my thing. hey, i'd like to say to you. >> jimmy: oh-oh, what? >> i'm so happy that everything worked out with billy. >> jimmy: oh, thank you very
much. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> as my father likes to say, i prayed to theodjaz ion'tin, an everything worked out and congratulations. >> thank you very much. >> two kids. four kids. >> jimmy: yeah. >> two since us. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so i guess it really is over. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] i figured that was the best way to tell you. >> i get it. i'm happy for you. >> jimmy: how are you doing? by the way, you had a health scare, a really serious health scare, not long ago. tell us what happened. because i know this is in your special. but take our audience here through that.
>> thinking to you to nutshell it. >> jimmy: was it a real serious thing? >> it's crazy i'm alive. i went to the doctor with a sore though the. who goes to the doctor for a sore throat? >> jimmy: you. >> i did. he said, this is life or death, we're going in the emergency room. i had an abscess at the top of my windpipe that was either going to grow another millimeter and choke me to death, or explode and kill me that way. >> jimmy: why would it kill you if it exploded? >> filled with poison. >> jimmy: really, wow. >> yes. and really -- my manager amy could tell you. the whole thing is a fog to me. they had to put me in a semi-coma. i couldn't be put to sleep all the way. which sucks. because now all these like memories are floating back. you know, my blood pressure is very low. they couldn't put me totally out. they just gave me all the heroin in the world, basically. [ laughter ] and i had a breathing tube for a week. whenever i
had to tie my hands down, jimmy. because you know, human nature when you feel something down your throat is to pull it out. so i would wake up, i'd feel this thing down my throat, and i'd go to pull it out. and then i'd realize my hands are tied down. and then i just assumed what anyone would assume. which is, i have been captured by isis. [ laughter ] truly, truly, right? [ applause ] they love it, they're close with us. so then a sister would have to say, not a nun, but one of my sisters. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> you know, sweetie, you're okay, you had a thing, blah, blah, blah. i would go, oh. and fall back to sleep. 30 seconds later i wouldn't remember any of it and the whole thing would happen again. >> jimmy: that's very scary. your whole family converged there and everything? >> my sister told my parents not to come. which you know is probably for the best.
helpful. but you did -- is this something -- >> wait. >> jimmy: i'm not going to show -- >> wait for it. >> jimmy: we always have this problem. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i won't show it yet. >> can i say, because there are a couple of funny stories that i had to hear about after. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> is someone going like this? >> jimmy: no. just one crazy guy doing it, has nothing to do with the show. >> they'd give me pencil and partner and i would try to write things down to communicate. a nurse came in and somehow i communicated, i have something very important to tell you or something. she's waiting. and i'm writing. writing down. and i don't remember this at all. but apparently i just wrote, "do you live with your mother?" and a picture of a [ bleep ].
[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i know this is on abc, this is probably blurred out because of so much [ bleep ]. if i say, is this a [ bleep ] or is this a finger? is this asparagus? it is asparagus, unblur it, it's asparagus. >> jimmy: how did she react to this question? >> i just looked at my hair and it doesn't look how i imagined. >> jimmy: i told you that a million times. >> okay. >> jimmy: you came through it. is there any danger now that it will recur? >> no. >> jimmy: no, okay, good. >> i did like have you worried a little bit. >> jimmy: i was worried. >> it's very unlikely it would recur. >> jimmy: your boyfriend michael sheen, was he there by your side? >> he was there by my side the whole time. he would shoot "masters of sex" and sleep in a chair next to me. don't remember any of it though. >> jimmy: are you sure that happened? is
evidence that it happened? >> probably not. he is my on again, off again lover. >> jimmy: is he on again, off again? >> well, i mean -- >> jimmy: i didn't know about the off again. >> no, he's on again. i call him my on again, off again lover because we were apart by oceans. one ocean. >> jimmy: he doesn't live here? >> his daughter turned 18. he wanted to go home. >> jimmy: aren't you supposed to go home -- his daughter turned 18 here? and he went home? >> yes. he's scared to be near his daughter. now she's going to start her own life, going to nyu. he has a calling to -- you know how i'm politically active. he wants to be and he needs to be home to do that. he's there a lot. and then we just long for each other and we see each other and we love each other. >> jimmy: but you don't really -- you don't live on the same continent? >> i mean, we visit. >> jimmy: oh, okay. all right. yeah. i don't know. >> you know me, i'm a loner. so it's okay. but yeah. >> jimmy: all right, we'll figure it all out. you have a dog, right? [ laughter ]
w quickly you can read through all their awards. 2017 motor trend car of the year. kelley blue book 2016 best resale value... u.s. news best car for the money. 10 best blah blah blah only about 90 more to go! 2017 iihs...top safety. 2017 north american car of the year! that's a lot of awards! now through june 12th, get 0% financing for 72 months on all 2017 chevy tahoe models. find new roads at your local chevy dealer. but you've never had 'em quite like this. at red lobster's lobster & shrimp summerfest, the lobster and shrimp you love are teaming up in so many new ways. like new coastal lobster and shrimp, with a lobster tail with butter and herbs, sweet, smoky bbq red shrimp, and shrimp crusted with...get this...cape cod kettle chips.
or try lobster and shrimp overboard. a dish this good... makes you this hungry. it's the highlight of the season, and can't last. so hurry in. pay stubs and bank statements to refinance your home. w2s, or you could push that button. [dong] [rocket launching] skip the bank, skip the paperwork, and go completely online. securely share your financial info and confidently get an accurate mortgage solution in minutes. lift the burden of getting a home loan with rocket mortgage by quicken loans. [whisper: rocket] she knows you're going forry one her left corner. she even teases you, calling the shot. but her legs are the ones trembling, not yours. time to shine. orbit.
what twisted ankle? what muscle strain? advil makes pain a distant memory nothing works faster stronger or longer what pain? advil. neutrogena® hydro boost hydrating tint. wake up skin. the first water gel foundation with hyaluronic acid it plumps, quenches... delivers a natural, flawless look. this is what makeup's been missing. neutrogena®
so we're introducing fios gigabit connection. it delivers amazing new download speeds up to 940 megs. that's 20x faster and more powerful than most people have. yes, 20 times. and the really incredible part, is that it's $79.99 a month. and what's even more incredible, is we included tv, hbo and multi-room dvr service, still for $79.99 a month online for one year and only $5 more per month for the second year. get fios gigabit connection for $79.99 with tv, hbo for 1 year and multi-room dvr service for 2 years. all with a 2-year agreement. switch now at fiosgigabit.com.
i'll never complain because i'm so afraid of being like a complaining jew. [ laughter ] which is a stereotype. based on facts. [ laughter ] and patterns. and like deducing from those patterns. are you selling out your culture, sarah? sorry! did i get a laugh? yes, okay. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is sarah silverman, "speck of dust," it's on netflix now. i have to say, by the way -- really, really funny. i think it might be your best standup special yet. i didn't know you were jewish. >> i know! >> jimmy: such a wild thing. >> that's not anything you've obsessed about at all. >> jimmy: you'd think that would have come up somehow. my mother just popped out here. do you remember the first time my parents met
>> she was like, i love bagels! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she had bagels for you. i didn't think it was right for her to throw them at you. but otherwise. >> no, i found that inappropriate. >> jimmy: i feel like we maybe were a little bit hard on your relationship. >> i felt that way too. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. so i think you should -- >> don't disrespect my man. >> jimmy: i'm not disrespecting him. it's really you that i was targeting. [ laughter ] you brought some photographs here. and there are some stories that go along with them that are pretty good. >> okay. jim, go ahead and show photo one. >> jimmy: photo number one is this. >> okay, this was a birthday present that my darling michael gave me for my birthday. >> jimmy: this is the one who moved to another continent, right? [ laughter ] what? >> that's not because i'm here. don't look at the monitor. so this is michael.
he gave this -- it's the best birthday gift i've ever gotten no offense. honestly. >> jimmy: i gave you a tivo. >> you got me a deef ativo and really expensive mattress you referred over my bed. p.s., tyland sleeps on that. $9,0 $9,000. >> jimmy: it wasn't $9,000. >> it was $9,000. that was how you presented it to me. >> jimmy: i did? okay. i may have been lying. >> we'll cut all this down. >> jimmy: all right, okay. >> i opened this up. i recognize the it right away. and i'm just like, how -- i said, how did -- how did you do this? he said he remembered that months before, we were in bed. post-making love, probably. >> jimmy: was this my $9,000 bed you were in? >> no, i gave that to tig almost immediately. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> we were lying in bed. and i was laughing out of nowhere. and
memory of when i was like 13. i got this new outfit. i loved it so much, i said, mom? take a picture of me. because this is the outfit i'm going to wear when i grow up and go to my first new york city audition. and i had her take a picture of me. i'm sure that picture doesn't exist. it made me laugh. he goes, what are you wearing? and i said, i was wearing gray corduroy knickers, white knee socks, a coral cable knit sweater, and a white turtleneck. and he locked it in, went on ebay, a couple of things from banana republic. had a professional photographer take it. and meanwhile he said the photographer did not laugh at any point. [ laughter ] so i get this and it's the greatest picture ever. he never saw the picture, the picture doesn't even exist. i send this to my sister laura. family historian. and she goes, i'm finding this [ bleep ] picture. like three
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. well done. >> i got the socks. i misremembered the socks. >> jimmy: the socks -- okay, you can photoshop the socks, it will be perfectly fine. congratulations on your special on netflix. it's called "sarah silverman: a speck of dust." very funny, go see it. sir have a sill very man! be right back with jimmy butler. [ cheers and applause ] got it. rumor confirmed. they're playing. -what? -we gotta go. -where? -san francisco. -when? -friday. we gotta go. [ tires screech ] any airline. any hotel. any time. go where you want, when you want with no blackout dates. [ muffled music coming from club. "blue monday" by new order. cheers. ] [ music and cheers get louder ]
♪ now look what you made me do u and me baby it takes two ♪ bringing new moves to the old school ♪ ♪ time for the whole world to enjoy the view ♪ ♪ we can go left they can go right ♪ ♪ save me a dance for the end of the night ♪ ♪ when i'm with you it's a party ♪ ♪ don't care where we're going ♪ ♪ 1, 2, 3 get loose no♪! ♪ it takes two to make a thing go right♪ ♪ it takes two to make it out of sight. ♪ america's favorite cookie delicious european chocolate candy introducing oreo chocolate candy bars look for them wherever you buy chocolate candy. no splashing! wait, so you got rid of verizon, just like that? uh huh. i switched to t-mobile, kept my phone everything on it oh, they even paid it off!
>> jimmy: welcome back. still to come on the show, post malone. our next guest calls himself the "new and improved michael jordan." not really, i'm just trying to get him in trouble. [ laughter ] he is a three-time nba all-star from the chicago bulls. please welcome jimmy butler. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> jimmy: that's a good-looking jacket you got on there. >> yeah, i would have wore yours but you don't have nearly as good a physique. >> jimmy: no that's true. i think i had those as sheets when i was like 4 years old. >> you don't want to do this right here, not now. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm good. you know, here. got my people around. >> jimmy: what people do you have around? [ laughter ] let's go through them. >> besides you, obviously. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> my brother. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> my dad's around. my trainers are around. >> jimmy: your trainers come with you even when you're not in season, when you're in the offseason? >> of course. >> jimmy: do you train every day? even when you're on vacation? >> not on the weekends. but on vacations, i do train. >> jimmy: you do. so you have to bring these guys with you on vacation? >> i don't have to. >> jimmy: i know, but you feel like you have to? >> i don't feel like i have to. i just think it's smart. so now -- >> jimmy: it's definitely smart. >> when the bulls call, jimmy what are you doing? i'm training. automatically, for ce
always training when they call. laugh live. >> jimmy: couldn't you just tell them you're training whether you're train organize not? >> yeah, but if you have a girlfriend, what are you doing? oh, i'm in the hotel room. take a picture of the toilet. it's like, take a picture of your trainer. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i see. >> see where i went with that? >> jimmy: that's smart. come up with an app for that. do you watch the playoffs and the finals when you're not in them? >> i don't really watch. but it's kind of hard not to pay attention. everywhere i go, especially here in l.a., everybody's, oh, he's come the lakers, he's in l.a. >> jimmy: you're not coming to the lakers? why aren't you coming to the lakers? >> i love chicago so very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, thank you, thank you chicago. and they took a chance on me in 2011 with the 30th pick. so i'm forever grateful for that. >> jimmy: for the record, i happen to be a lakers fan, i think you should stay in chicago. because you've built a foundation there. you should stay there your whole career. is that what you want to do? >> i feel like you just insulted me.