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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 6, 2017 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

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tonight's "jimmy kimmel live" is brought to you by lighter fluid. this barbecue season use plenty of it on your grill. the more you use, the more exciting your barbecue will be. say good-bye to your eyebrows with lighter fluid. >> ah! >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, andy samberg, from "rough night" jillian bell, "this week in unnecessary censorship," and music from 2 chainz featuring trey songz and ty dolla sign. and now, sure enough, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ >> jimmy: that's very nice. welcome. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to each and every one of you for coming. i appreciate it. thank you for clapping, thanks for everything. hey, remember when donald trump said he would give up tweeting when he became president? that was funny. that was a good one. [ laughter ] the president woke up bright and early this morning, the day after what had to be his worst birthday ever. he woke up, walked down the hall to melania's bedroom, the door was locked. [ laughter ] so he went downstairs, punched sean spicer in the stomach, wrestled the phone out of his little pink hands and tweeted about this special investigation into him. you know yesterday we learned that the president is being investigated by a special counsel led by robert muelle
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for possible obstruction of justice. so this morning at 7:57 a.m., trump tweeted, "you are witnessing the single greatest witch hunt in american political history led by some very bad and conflicted people. #maga." [ laughter ] he's even making witch hunts great again. i don't know. i don't think witches play golf every weekend. the way we'll know trump is a witch is when the white house falls on top of him. [ laughter ] and we see his feet curl up. and while a lot of people are making fun, there is some question as to whether this might be a witch hunt. so joining us now from -- actually, where are you from, ma'am? [ cheers and applause ] >> hello! >> jimmy: where are you join us from? >> from witchburg. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: witchburg? where is witchburg? what state is that in? >> florida. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, joining from us witchburg, florida, high prees tess of th
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federation ab gaig shipton. hello, abigail. >> yes, bright blessings and merry meet. >> jimmy: right back at you. as you probably heard, president trump is saying this investigation is a witch hunt. is it a witch hunt? >> oh, no, of course not. i've been hunted. and it's nothing like this. >> jimmy: okay, so that -- i guess that -- >> do you want to see how cold my tits are? [ laughter ] you can feel them. >> jimmy: no, that's okay, thank you. >> okay, your loss. blight blessings and merry meet again. >> jimmy: all right, thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so you heard it from a witch, this is not a witch hunt. trump's later said the leak of this information to the press was, quote, outrageous, inexcusable, and illegal. so at the very least i think he just found his next campaign slogan. [ laughter ] outrageous -- put that on a hat, i'll buy it. meanwhile, one of america's next top diplomats, dennis rodman, is worming his way through north korea. dennis rodman is in the middle of what is planned to be a four-day trip. and he brought gifts on this trip.
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he brought gifts for his bff kim jong-un. this is what he brought. he brought a variety of soaps, you see wrapped in cellophane, which is crazy. he brought a mermaid jigsaw puzzle. he brought two non-descript number 91 jerseys. this looks like a very sad yard sale or a terrible flea market. [ laughter ] and two books. he brought "where's waldo" and "the art of the deal." i love that he brought kim jong un "the art of the deal." as if he needs help negotiating. negotiating with kim jong-un goes like this. you do everything i say and i won't feed you to a boa constrict constrictor, is that a deal, mom? [ laughter ] "where's waldo" they think is think is 5 years old.ter, who they love american children's books in north korea. of course they adapt them to suit the north korean lifestyle. but the same books we have. there's for instance "good night un." [ laughter ] "oh the places you'll never go." [ laughter ] "the very hungry caterpillar and millions of other people."
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[ laughter ] the caterpillar's hungry because there's no food. it really is amazing dennis rodman and kim jong-un are friends. especially considering kim jong-un doesn't speak english and dennis rodman doesn't speak english. [ laughter ] i don't know what they're saying to each other. i don't know if trump has read "where's waldo" but i have to say i feel like he has. because i've noticed that when he gives a speech he always seems to be reading it aloud. >> where's leo? is leo around here? where is he? he's got to be here. where is he? >> where is franklin? he's around. >> where is robert? >> where's jim? >> where are they? >> where is general flynn? >> where are you guys? >> where is kim? >> where is she? >> where are they? >>. >> where are you? >> where's cecil? >> where are they? >> where is bruce? >> jimmy: you know they say sometimes the person you were looking for was right in front of y
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[ laughter ] and while dennis rodman is in north korea, this is what's happening in south korea. this from a mixed martial arts heavyweight fight in seoul that got testy, literally. >> [ speaking foreign language ]. >> jimmy: he's looking around like, did anyone see that? [ applause ] we did see it. this morning in oakland, hundreds of thousands of people lined up starting at 4:00 a.m. for a parade for the golden state warriors. while the series might be over some of the players are still going at it. draymond green of the warriors, he was here with us last night, draymond is one of the great trash talkers in the nba. today he did some trash wearing. he wore a t-shirt that says
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"quickie." which the cavaliers play at the quicken loans arena and the warriors beat them in five games. hence the quickie. so lebron james saw this and he posted to instagram, "that's what she said." and some emojis. [ laughter ] then draymond came back an hour later, he wrote about lebron's new hairlessness, "them ws finally made him go bald. congrats, king james." you know there's only one way this ends and it's with sex, right? [ laughter ] while we're on the subject of shenanigans, this is either a really good prank or a bad one. i'll let you be the judge. this is from the magical midway amusement park in orlando. they have one of those slingshot rides. the guy operating the ride e couple to fasten their seat belts even though this is a ride that does not have seat belts. and that's when hilarity ensued. >> tighten your seat belts.
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>> it slipped off. you've got to tighten it. pull on it. >> oh my gosh. >> pull it from the bottom. like a car seat belt. pull on it -- >> this? >> wait. is mine too loose? >> actually, both of them. hey, i got both seat belts completely loose. [ screaming ] >> mama! [ screaming ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know. wow. that's -- i need to find -- if anyone knows that guy, on the off chance he's still alive, please tell him i'm looking for him. because i have to know. sometimes i just like to get to know people, honestly.
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the way. a team of german scientists is working on a project called bake in space. their plan is to attempt to bake bread in outer space. they're hoping to do it sometime next year. they say their goal is to address the "scientific and technical challenges related to the production of fresh bread in space." apparently it's hard to bake bread in space. which i'll be honest, i thought baking in space was a euphemism for smoking weed on the roof. [ laughter ] i didn't know they were doing any of that. it's an interesting goal. not only has the idea of baking bread in space inspired the scientific community, it also got creative juices flowing here in hollywood and is breathing much-needed life into the space action genre. >> the mission's primary goal has been achieved. we're looking at the first proof of bread. beyond earth. >> it's beautiful.
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>> what's going on? >> aahhh! >> we've lost all communication. >> aahh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's arma -- guillermo, did you understand what was going on there? >> guillermo: yeah, i did. >> jimmy: what was going on there? >> guillermo: the bread was moving. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. you're hammered, aren't you? i'm looking at you right now. >> guillermo: yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you are, yeah. how many drinks did you have before the show? >> guillermo: two big ones. >> jimmy: two big ones. >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: two big ones. all right. all right, thursday night, that means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. we've got two big ones for you. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship."
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>> this morning a close friend of president trump's says that he is considering [ bleep ]ing robert mueller. >> it has been absolutely extraordinary. that saying, i can't remember the last time i had so much [ bleep ] up my ass but there is no more room. >> mr. sessions, are you familiar with what spies call tradecraft? >> [ bleep ] you, senator cotton. >> did you say that i had to [ bleep ] kevin durant? >> yeah. >> it really wasn't that hard. >> can you call draymond for me? i want to ride on his [ bleep ]. >> it's not easy for someone who's a [ bleep ], [ bleep ], like myself or yourself -- once or twice a day. >> many times i stick a butter bean up my [ bleep ]. they always came out. >> i think the president -- i know because he and i have [ bleep ]ed a little bit. >> when was the last time you [ bleep ]ed? >> last night. >> wait a minute, last night? >> yeah. >> why are you keeping these girls prisoners, jerk? >> you don't understand. i [ bleep ] princesses because i want to marry one.
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them if you just want to marry one? >> i'm [ bleep ]ing them all first to be sure i made the right choice. >> parades, picnics, [ bleep ]s. >> yeah, you did it again. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. when we come back, in honor of father's day on sunday, we asked people to tell their dads the worst thing they have ever done, and they did. so stick around, we'll share that together. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by aflac. swing. y huh? don't you mean dad kind of ruined our hawaii fund? i thud go to the thothpital. there goes the airfair. i don't think health insurance will cover all... of that. buth my fathe! without that cash from - aflac! - we might have to choose between hawaii or your face. hawaii! what? haha...hawaii!
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♪ and now i'm sure it's more than a stroke of luck ♪ ♪eah, i love you, do you love me, too? ♪ ♪ yeah, i love you, do you love me, too? ♪ ♪ clap your hands if it feels good ♪ ♪ clap your hands, ohh ♪ clap your hands if it feels good ♪ ♪ clap your hands, ooh ♪ feeling tonight, some kinda wonderful ♪ ♪ feeling inside, some kinda wonderful ♪
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for years, fios has been promising fast internet to small businesses. but for many businesses, it's out of reach. why promise something you can't deliver? comcast business is different. ♪ ♪ we deliver super-fast internet with speeds of 250 megabits per second across our entire network, to more companies, in more locations, than fios. we do business where you do business. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. andy samberg, jillian bell, music from 2chainz, trey songz and ty dolla sign. father's day i
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which means you only have a couple days to find a tastefully masculine fidget spinner or whatever -- [ laughter ] . if you haven't picked out a gift, let me save you some time. sunday give your father what he really wants, an extra 20 minutes of ipad toilet time, that's all, it's enough. [ laughter ] if you really want to make the most of father's day i invite you to take part in our annual youtube challenge. we have a longstanding tradition now of making father's day mischief. we've asked -- one year we asked kids to serve their dads breakfast the hard way. >> here's your breakfast. >> i get breakfast? hey! geez. what the heck is that? aah! >> jimmy: we asked people to spray dad with a hose one year. >> hey, dad. >> [ bleep ]! what are you doing? aah! [ bleep ]! >> jimmy: another year we told people to play catch with dad with something other than a ball.
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we got some creative responses to that. >> hey, dad, catch. >> [ bleep ]! damn it! >> jimmy kimmel said to do it! is >> jimmy: yeah. if you need to blame me, go right ahead. i don't mind. this year's challenge, it's not physical, it's a verbal challenge. i want you to sneak up on your dad and when he least expects it yell "i love you, dad" as loud as you can. do this whenever and wherever you want. be sure that, a, you surprise him and, b, you do not injure him in any way. do not do this while he's driving, while he's being wheeled into heart surgery, none of those things. [ laughter ] otherwise record yourself yelling "i love you dad" and post to it youtube with the title "hey jimmy kimmel i told my dad i love him." it's going to be very sweet. look for a message from us. we'll put the best ones on the show next week. and you know, i'd say as much as most of us love our fathers, we keep secrets from them. and everyone knows that honesty is the best policy. so we went out on the street and we asked kids to tell us the worst thing they ever did, while their dad was standing right
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next to them. this is how that went. ♪ >> what's the worst thing you've done that you've never told your dad? >> probably when i got in trouble by using bad words. >> what bad words? >> like the f-word. >> what's the f-word? >> i can't tell you. >> you can tell me. >> [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> how do you feel about that? >> not too good. [ laughter ] >> tell your dad the worst thing you've ever done. >> i went to a party and i got really messed up and i had to walk line 10 miles home. >> oh, that scares you to walk the 10 miles home, though. >> i got chased by the -- well, it wasn't like the police but it was like the security guard at the mall. i've gotten chased multiple times. >> you have not. >> i have. >> oh my gosh. >> when my friend's over and stuff, we do a lot of prank calls. >> prank calls?
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who do you call? >> we call walgreens, we call like -- almost like every store. >> what do you say? >> "poke butt." you sell vanilla biscuit? and what else? i think i pooped. >> a while ago he had these bluetooth ear buds. and i sold them on the internet. >> you sold them? for how much? >> 20 bucks. >> seriously? i wondered where they were, too. >> watched a rated r movie. >> snuck out. he didn't know. >> smoked weed. >> shrooms. >> happy father's day! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: maybe he should have stopped at 12 kids. we have a good show tonight.
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trey songz and ty dolla sign. julian bell is here. we'll be right back with andy samberg! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by kfc. it's finger lickin' good.
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with tv and phone for $79.99 a month. plus hbo for one year and multi-room dvr service for two years. all with a 2-year agreement. and switching has never been easier. get out of your contract with up to a $500 credit to help cover your early termination fee. go to >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back to the show. tonight from the new movie "rough night," jillian bell is here. and then his album comes out tomorrow. it's called "pretty girls like trap music." 2 chainz featuring trey songz and ty dolla sign from the mercedes-benz stage. they have something very theatrical planned, they really put something together. next week we have a whole week of new shows with elle fanning, casey affleck, tatiana
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allison tollman, sir anthony hopkins, music from playboi carti, and queen with adam lambert singing lead. so that will be a lot of fun, please join us for all of that next week. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is an emmy and golden globe-winning american citizen with a very funny new mockumentary about racing bicycles on drugs, it's called "tour de pharmacy." >> you seem very, very proud of your homeland. >> indeed i am, you know, i miss it. being here in france, i miss it back home. i bless the rains down in africa. >> right, right, like the song. >> oh, i'm not familiar with that. >> it's the lyrics to the toto song "africa." >> i'm not familiar with that. but at any rate. it's going to take a lot to -- >> to drag me away from you. >> from you. that's what i was going to say. >> we can do it in harmony. >> that's so bizarre. i was going to say drag away from this great interview. >> jimmy: "tour de pharmacy" premieres july 8th on hbo. please welcome andy samberg. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: you look great. >> yes! >> jimmy: the glasses. the glasses are yours. >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah. is that a band-aid? adhering your nose to your face? >> well, i finally did it, i got the nose job. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who is your doctor? he did a beautiful job. >> i left it on because i just wanted to see if anyone noticed the difference. >> jimmy: well, yeah, we all noticed, so you can rest easy. >> surprise! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how are you doing? what's going on with you? >> i'm great. >> jimmy: you're good, everything's good in your life? >> yeah, wonderful, i feel happy. i've got to say, though. craziest thing. i dvr'd the oscars. >> jimmy: oh? >> and i just watched it last night! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really. >> jimmy, that was crazy. they got best picture wrong!
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait a minute, you -- >> you must have been freaking out! have you been talking about it a lot? have you had to talk about it a lot? >> jimmy: i did mention it, yeah. >> i was in my house like, no! it's "moonlight"! [ laughter ] the "la la land" people must have been so embarrassed. have you talked about it a lot? >> jimmy: i did, yeah. i mentioned it. >> because i just watched it last night. >> jimmy: it was actually a good while ago. i don't want to ruin anything for you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you know i know you're from the bay area. >> i am. >> jimmy: the nba finals are also over. >> that i watched. >> jimmy: and your golden state warriors won the nba finals. >> yes. yes. yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: are you a big fan? >> i'm a huge warriors fan. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> and look. i know it sucks for everyone else. like no one from the bay is like yeah, it's fair! we're just like the warriors were bad for so long. and i watched the warriors my whole life. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and like really watched them. i've been a fan for a long time. and now it's like, we
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kobe. beat down by the spurs with all their all-stars and stuff. it's like, now it's our turn not to be embarrassed. >> jimmy: to beat people down. people do get upset about it not being fair but there's not a team in the league that wouldn't swap lineups, really. everybody would want to be in the same position. >> even lebron has been saying like oh, yeah, i get it. >> jimmy: do you think lebron -- i would think he would because he did the same thing when he went to miami. right? >> your words, not mine. i'm biased. obviously i'm biased. >> jimmy: did you play sports? basketball or whatnot? >> i wanted to play football. and my mom said no. >> jimmy: oh. >> because i was super dinky. i played soccer, played a lot of soccer. >> jimmy: gotcha. >> yeah. yeah, most popular sport in the world, america. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you know you're not that popular when you have to keep reminding people you're the most popular sport in the world. it's like david hasselhoff telling people he's huge in germany, kind of that same thing. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. you think he goes around just saying tha
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>> jimmy: i don't think he probably has ever said that in his life. i unfairly attributed that to him. >> i like to think he does. i'm huge in germany! oh, okay. >> jimmy: i think it's something we all know. by the way, i've checked this out with germans before. we have many germans that will come to the show. he is popular over there. >> he is. >> jimmy: it's a real thing. it's a phenomenon that can't necessarily be explained. >> good for him. >> jimmy: yeah, well sure, great for him. it's like the dennis rodman of north korea. he's that determined. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> but jimmy, david hasselhoff, would you? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: would it be wrong to say i have? >> oh! sweet! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is "baywatch," you know. what did you do over the summer when you were a kid? what kind of summers did you have as a young man? >> i was a summer camp kid. >> jimmy: you were? >> yeah, i started out as a camper, went there for so long that i then became a counselor. >> jimmy: was it a good camp? >> it was wonderful. it was in yosemite.
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beautiful. bass lake. >> jimmy: how did they decide which of the kids going there for a long time get to be counselors? >> kind of the ones that just won't stop coming. [ laughter ] it was interesting for me because -- you know, there's activities during the day, there's like someone who does the softball, someone who does archery, people do sailing. and i had no skill set. so they made up a job for me. i was campfire coordinator. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what did that entail? what were your responsibilities? >> at the end of every day there's a campfire where the whole camp comes together and you sing songs and do skits and stuff. >> jimmy: would you pick the songs? >> yeah, i'd be like let's do john jacob jingleheimer schmidt again! i'm getting paid! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and would you arrange the s'mores and that sort of thing, light the fire? >> no, i would not do well with that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were the campfire coordinator, you did not light the fire? >> no. no food services, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and do you have still -- did you have like a girlfriend or anything at camp? were there gir a
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>> it was like -- there was hookup stuff happening at camp. one of my -- well, it didn't always go great for me. [ laughter ] one year i went. and look, i had grown my hair pretty long that year. like below the shoulders. and i'm from berkeley. all my friends were into reggae. i noticed one day i had sort of stopped brushing my hair and it started kind of matting up and and i was like, yeah, let's see where this goes. [ laughter ] and it started kind of grossly dreading. and i went to camp. the school year ended, i went to camp. all my friends were like, oh. dreads. [ laughter ] and i was like, kind of, i don't know. and it went on for a couple of days. finally they were like, this is not happening, and they kind of like held me down and shaved my head. and i was kind of bummed and i was like, man, i can't believe
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they shaved my white dreads. [ laughter ] and then that night i made out with a girl. >> jimmy: oh, wow! [ cheers and applause ] it was good luck. >> i was like -- i am the poster child for why white people should not have dreadlocks. just never should happen. >> jimmy: like the opposite of samson in a way. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that particular situation. >> like an inverted samson. >> jimmy: by the way, you've done it again with your mockumentary. the last one was about tennis and i loved that, that was great. this one now is about bicycle racing. >> yes. >> jimmy: and it's very, very funny. talk about some of the people that are in it just to start with. >> it's a crazy stacked cast, you guys. >> jimmy: yeah. >> everyone will be in everything now. it's me, orlando bloom, john cena, daveed diggs from "hamilton," freddie highmore, jeff goldblum, dolph lundgren, mike tyson, james marsden, julia ormond, flphyllisia rashad. who am i forgetting? >> jimmy: jon hamm is the narrator.
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>> yeah. jon hamm is the narrator. we got edgar wright to do the voice of an announcer, that's kind of hidden, not anymore. >> jimmy: there's a guy i know named chris romano whose penis i got to see. >> yes. >> jimmy: it's a very penis-heavy project. >> we believe in equal opportunity nudity in our projects. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right off the bat, orlando bloom, there's a -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> there's a bit in the beginning with orlando where, you know, cyclists actually do go pee while they ride, that's a thing, because they can't stop. we were like, this will be so funny, we'll start with orlando's character, juju pepe, he's like an italian cyclist -- [ laughter ] like he'll start going pee and it will be crazy, like orlando bloom showing his [ bleep ], that's so crazy! and we shot it and everyone was laughing. this is like so awesome, people are going to be so shocked. and then like a week after we wrapped shooting, like a thousand photos of orlando bloom with his [ bleep ] out. [ laughter ] like paddleboarding around with katy perry came out. and we were like, you ruined it! you ruined the joke of your wang!
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[ laughter ] now it's like oh, yeah, he does that, that's his thing. so we cut it way down. the joke, not his [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very considerate of you. it's very funny. it's called "tour de pharmacy." it premieres july 8th on hbo. andy samberg, everybody! we'll be right back. >> dicky: on july 7th, 8th and 9th go to to see streaming performances and behind-the-scenes interviews from artists like big sean, dnce, and steve aoki at summerfest, presented by u.s. cellular. go to and sign up now. ging the sink, setting up dentist appointments and planning birthday parties, nobody does it better. she's also in a rock band. look at her shred. but when it comes to mortgages, she's less confident. fortunately for maria, there's rocket mortgage by quicken loans. it's simple, so she can understand the details
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>> jimmy: hi, welcome back. jillian bell and music from 2 chainz, trey songz and ty dolla sign on the way. but first as you are no doubtedly aware is national fried chicken day. and of course no one knew chicken better than colonel sanders. so kfc invent aid way to reunite the colonel with his beloved customers. it's an exciting new technology that we sent our tech expert guillermo to investigate. >> kfc invent aid robot that uses a.i. technology to translate the drive-thru employee's voice to sound like. it's called h.a.r.l.a n.d. >> h
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>> whatever you say here comes out of his mouth. >> can we go try it? >> welcome to k.f.c. >> welcome to k.f.c. >> what would you like to order? >> what would you like to order? >> your $5 fillups famous bowl. >> oh, okay. >> oh, okay. you'll never guess how much it costs. >> $5? >> yes! >> yes. >> thank you. >> do you like chicken? >> do you like chicken? >> yes. >> prove it by doing your best chicken impression. >> pacac! >> ooh oui. >> da, da, da, da. >> can i get a two-piece fillup? >> we're out of chicken. how bay bucket full of napkins? i'm just joking. we have so much chicken we don't know what to do with it. happy national fried chicken day. >> do we win a prize? >> every order comes with a free hat. >> thank you. >>
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i get this for me now. >> celebrate national fried chicken day by eating fried chicken. go to kfc. it's finger lickin' good. ine and choose what's right for you. woah. flo and jamie here to see hqx. flo and jamie request entry. slovakia. triceratops. tapioca. racquetball. staccato. me llamo jamie. pumpernickel. pudding. employee: hey, guys! home quote explorer. it's home insurance made easy. password was "hey guys." it's home insurance made easy. this this this is my body of proof. proof of less joint pain and clearer skin. this is my body of proof that i can take on psoriatic arthritis with humira. humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. it's proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage,
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>> jimmy: hello there. still to come, music from 2 chainz. you know our next guest from "curb your enthusiasm," "workaholics," "22 jump street," and "eastbound & down." starting tomorrow, she presides over scarlett johansson's very bad bachelorette party in "rough night." >> before we go, you have to do a human friendipede. >> what is a human friendipede? >> it's a photo we always take where it's like the human centipede where they're sewn together mouth to bum but it's with friends so it's special. >> i feel like it might not be appropriate. >> if i don't post a ton of pictures from this weekend it's going to look suspicious, like we killed someone. >> okay. i can't believe i'm saying this but i think we should do the human friendipede. >> okay. i get the middle! >> who would want the middle? >> jimmy: please welcome jillian bell! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> wow. wow. >> jimmy: something weird, andy samberg had a nose that looked just like that. >> that's crazy, i did see that earlier. he got a nose job or something. i'm just a genuine witch. no, i'm going to take this off now and be a human being. hi! >> jimmy: you should be a human being. how are you doing? by the way, i just want to tell you something. and i know this won't mean much to most everyone. but i was excited to learn that you were from las vegas because i am from las vegas. >> we are both from las vegas. >> jimmy: and i get excited when other people from las vegas, you know, become popular. and you have done that. >> well, thank you. >> jimmy: how did you do that from las vegas? how did you -- because most people go to las vegas to end their careers. [ laughter ] rather than to begin them. >> right, right. i started early. i did improv at 8 years old, which is really weird. >> jimmy: what is an 8-year-old improv set like? >> i'm like, give me a place, give me a -- no.
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no, we just played around. i had sort of a wild imagination. and i think my parents sort of wanted to get me out of the house for a bit because i was a lot. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i see. >> but yeah, i ended up really loving it. and kept taking improv class. >> have you had the experience that i've had where when you grow up in las vegas, you don't know it's weird that you're growing up in las vegas? >> zero idea. >> jimmy: until you move and then everybody goes, you grew up in las vegas? what was that like? >> which hotel did you live in? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: exactly. >> i'm like, it was a motel. [ laughter ] yeah, no, it's very odd. i mean, i always thought that grocery stores had slot machines in them. >> jimmy: it's true. there are slot machines in the grocery stores. every 7-eleven has a slot machine. >> yeah, for prom i went to blue man group. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did. >> yeah, i thought that was a normal thing. dinner and a show. what show did you go to for prom? everyone's like what? >> jimmy: yeah, prom would be -- not that i ever went. but i'm told -- >> you didn't go? >> jimmy: no.
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>> jimmy: it wasn't a choice. don't worry, i'm over it, okay? [ laughter ] >> he's so cool. he's so cool. you're doing great. >> jimmy: no, it wasn't about being cool, it was about being unattractive. [ laughter ] but prom would be held at like caesar's palace or something. >> yes, yeah. i actually worked at caesar's palace. >> jimmy: where did you work there? >> i worked at this place called banana republic, heard of it? >> jimmy: yes, i have. >> i was a greeter. so i would be like "welcome to banana republic." in just so many different ways all day long. >> jimmy: they have department stores now. we didn't have that back in those days. did you go to buffets and stuff with your parents? >> oh, yeah. my dad did advertising for the orleans casino. we'd hit that up. i would just have a plate of shrimp. i dated a lot. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you would get to go to the orleans buffet for free, was that the thing? >> yeah. my dad had a stamp -- well, everyone had a comp to everything in las vegas. >> jimmy: yeah. in those days they did.
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i think that has changed now. >> yeah, no, you can't get into anything now. >> jimmy: we went to see siegfried and roy for free in las vegas when i was a kid. >> oh. >> jimmy: that was a rare moment where my dad like got something. because that was the only time we'd ever go anyplace is if there were some free, like 99 cent -- anything over 99 cents in las vegas is unacceptably expensive. [ laughter ] >> yeah. when you started to have to pay for parking your car, we're like, what is happening? because everything was free. >> jimmy: right. valet parking is -- yeah. i think they're changing that in las vegas. >> they are. boo! >> jimmy: it's all very sad. >> shame on you! >> jimmy: i know, it's not enough that you give that money anyway into the casino. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: when you went in there. even the supermarkets you have change in your hand, you just put it in the machine. >> you just play a slot. >> jimmy: you didn't have to carry your change around like an animal. [ laughter ] well, this is so great. now you're in this big movie with all these -- by the way, are you an impressionist? do you do impressions? >> i do a couple. >> jimmy: who do you do? >> i can do drew barrymore, and
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i can do kate mckinnon. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> kate mckinnon is new. yeah, i can only do two -- >> jimmy: so you're not an impressionist. kate mckinnon is an impressi impressionist. >> she is. >> jimmy: you do an impression of an impressionist. that's very meta in a way. do a little of that. i don't know if we have a sense of what kate's -- >> if you see her in interviews, she does sort of like -- wow. a lot of this. it's sort of -- yeah. uh -- wow. and i'm so happy to be here. uh -- a lot of that. >> jimmy: does she like when you do that? >> i don't know. we'll find out. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm going to guess not. >> maybe not. >> jimmy: it's funny you do that. i think i always felt when she was doing that, she was maybe doing an impression -- >> doing a character. that is her. >> jimmy: of somebody we don't know. >> i know. >> jimmy: did you do relatives and stuff like that growing up? >> oh, my nana was pretty good. she was romanian. she was actually -- this is her
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word. she said she was the first woman to ever be behind the front desk of a las vegas casino. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah, and i believe it was caesar's palace or something. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's pretty crazy. there's no way to verify it. >> no. somebody look into it. >> jimmy: so she was the first woman allowed to greet people as they came in and check them in? >> yeah, and she was quite a character. she was like leather pants at christmas dinner. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> and fake enhancements. >> jimmy: she would wear that to your house? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> oh, yeah. she'd walk in on my grandparents that were older and she'd be like -- like making fun of them. because she was so cool. >> jimmy: vegas, turns out it is a weird place to grow up. >> it is a weird place. >> jimmy: even nana has breast implants. [ laughter ] >> she does. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. congratulations. >> thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the movie is called "rough night." it opens tomorrow. jillian bell, everybody! ainz! be right back with 2
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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>> jimmy: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to andy samberg, jillian bell, apologies to matt damon, we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next but first, his new album "pretty girls like trap music" is out tomorrow. here with the song "it's a vibe," with help from the trap choir, trey songz and ty dolla $ign, 2 chainz! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ yeah yeah yeah ♪ that's a vibe she wanna vibe that's a vibe yeah uh ♪ ♪ that's a vibe it's a vibe that's a vibe yeah yeah yeah ♪ ♪ oh that's a vibe oh it's a vibe that's a vibe yeah yeah ♪ ♪ that's a vibe she wanna vibe yeah that's a vibe yeah ah
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yeah ♪ ♪ yeah that's a vibe she wanna vibe that's a vibe this -- vibe yeah yeah ♪ ♪ late night oh it's a vibe let me slide oh it's a vibe yeah yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ it's a vibe don't you like your drippin' gushin' drippin' down your thighs ♪ ♪ it's a vibe get high diggin' deep while i'm lookin' in your eyes ♪ ♪ vibe is the realest i know you feel it ♪ ♪ it's a vibe different vibe
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this my vibe -- all the ladies like it ♪ ♪ okay so i got the ambiance just where i want it ♪ ♪ and if you get paid it's solely based on your performance ♪ ♪ my ego is enormous like my crib in california if you ain't got no heart man you gonna need a donor ♪ ♪ now i said i'm from the corner of the a-t-l where we got that clientele avoid paper trails ♪ ♪ got a vibe make a young chick turn her neck ♪ ♪ got a vibe make a cougar wanna spend a check ♪ ♪ got a vibe make an asian want hibachi got a vibe make italian want versace ♪ ♪ carbon copies get declined i'm the pioneer ♪ ♪ beat that thing up i need riot gear any volunteers ♪ ♪ gas in a ziploc now that's loud and clear this one outta here this is our year ♪ ♪ that's a vibe that's a vibe that's a vibe oh that's a vibe yeah yeah ♪
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♪ that's a vibe it's a vibe it's a vibe that's a vibe yeah yeah ♪ ♪ it's a vibe am i your type tight maybe i'll spend the night yeah yeah ♪ zmoet ♪ that's a vibe ♪ what's up ♪ that's a vibe it's a vibe that's a vibe oh it's a vibe yeah yeah ♪ ♪ you know my type my money ripe ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah, yeah ♪ album jumping tonight ♪ you know my type ♪ my money right
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yeah ♪ [ cheers and applause ] this is "nightline." >> tonight, the business of babies. >> okay. >> couples eager to have children competing to win in vitro fertilization. too expensive for many. >> 20,000 for the fresh cycle. >> what you need to know about the financial stakes if you're considering fertility treatments. and the lucky winners after years of heartache whose dreams have finally come true. plus, shamed on a plane. >> you know nothing about me by the size of my body. >> a plus-size model confronting a man she says tried to body shame her on an airplane. >> he says it looks like


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