tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC September 30, 2010 12:05am-1:05am EDT
and that means it's time now for tonight's "closing argument." advances in science and shifting social mores are producing a modern kind of family. tonight we visited the surrogacy agency that helps gay men become biological dads. we wanted to ask you tonight, is there a limit for you to what makes a family? after too many donors or too many laboratory steps, do you think the basic fabric comes
apart or are these modern families a logical next step in what family means? tell us what you think at the "nightline" facebook page or on the "nightline" page at abcnews.com. that is our report for tonight. for cynthia mcfadden and bill weir, good night. hi, hi, i'm jimmy with tonight's big giant question. brought to you by ford and the 43 fiesta sweepstakes. go to 43 fiestas.com to register now for your chance to win a trip to miami during championship weekend. and if al men dinger wins the ford 400 ford will give away not one but 43 ford fiestas. now we turn to our experts, packing lot security guard guillermo and a guy i met on the street. gentlemen. are you ready for tonight's big
giant question? the question is, who will win the ford 400? >> i think a.j.allemendinger. >> no, a.j. allen -- down. >> no way, a.j. -- >> no, a.j. allendinger down. >> no, you don't know nothing about the race. >> hold on a second. let me ask you. who do you think will win? okay. it's settled then. >> register now for fiesta 43 and follow all the action as he goes head to head with the driver of the number 43 fiesta ken block. >> let's say it together. allmendinger. >> perfect. jimmy kimmel live back in two minutes with busy phillips, music from sharon jones and the dap kings and joe mchale. ♪
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>> jimmy: thank you. very nice. i appreciate that. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. i'm send a big gay kiss out to each and every one of you. big happenings tonight on the show "modern family." the first gay kiss in prime-time television since i guess since the last gay kiss on prime-time television. was, what, "sanford & son," right? "cagney & lacy?" i don't know. cameron and mitchell kissed on "modern family." some people thought it was strange they never kissed last season because they're a married couple. is that weird? my parents have been married for 44 years. i think i saw them kiss one time. my mom got my dad a new wheelbarrow for christmas or something. so overcome with emotion, he couldn't help himself. tonight, cameron and mitchell kissed. next week, hopefully, sophia and julie bowen will do the same thing. we're property gretty excited t
because we have a much anticipated and controversial kiss planned, right guillermo? >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: for year, we've been dancing around it. but now finally tonight, peppy and pockco, guillermo's chihuahuas, are going to do what no gay dogs on television have ever done. this is officially american television's first ever same-sex dog kiss. >> guys, it's time to share your love with america. ♪ only on abc. >> jimmy: wow. look at that. another historic moment. nicely done. [ applause ]
there's nothing peanut butter can't do, i tell you. [ laughter ] here's some other abc stars that could use a kiss together. last night on "dancing with the stars" michael bolton was sent home after getting a very bad score for his very bad dancing. judge bruno called it the worst jive in the history of the show. he did what judges do and criticized. but michael bolton did not take that well. this morning on "good morning america" said he would like to see bruno punished. >> you did it all very, very, very badly. >> of course i was disappointed with bruno. he just, to me, he let everybody down so, you know, my mom was there. she flew in. she's 90. she came to see the show. i thought she was going to really enjoy it. and i just didn't expect that level of disrespect from him. >> i think this is probably worst jive in 11 seasons. >> just, you know, len stopped him and said that's inappropriate. i think he's apologized publicly and he should be reprimanded. >> jimmy: he's right, there
should be a war crimes tribunal set up. has michael bolton ever seen a reality show before? this is what goes on. if simon cowell got ahold of him, he'd probably want the death penalty. that's latest on bolton versus tonioli. lindsay lohan is back in rehab. according to the websites who are kind enough to monitor our celebrity's every move for us, she's in rehab. at this point, she reminds me of judd nelson's character on "the breakfast club." bender. this photo was supposedly taken at the rehab monday. it's lindsay reading a book called "the power of rest." i've seen this book before. i finally figured out where. i saw it in the sky mall cata g catalog. it's one of those hidden flask books. you'd think a rehab facility would know to check for those. have you seen that new reality show on tlc called "sister wives?" i guess it got huge ratings. it's about a polygamous family, one husband, four wives that
lives in utah. i wondered, how are these people not getting arrested? it's illegal. it turns out they're probably now getting arrested. they're being investigated by police. the husband said he knew it was a risk for the show but he thought it was worth it to help shed light on the polygamy lifestyle. to me, the whole show looks like the worst cialias ad. to me, that's an even better show. polygamists in prison? the conjugal visits alone would be constant, i guess. remember that boxer named butter bean, the big fat bald guy? he's still bald. he's even fatter now. butter bean had a fight in poland, a mixed martial arts match. while the fight itself was like two hippopotamuses having sex, the man who was chosen to singt american national anthem, you know, when an american is in another country, they'll sing the national anthem, was off the
charts great. ♪ o say can you see ♪ starly lights ♪ so proudly we hail ♪ by the twilight's last ♪ and the rockets were glare americans were there ♪ >> jimmy: hit him, butter bean, do something. still technically got more words right than jessica simpson when she sang it. really? really? that's -- [ applause ] okay, that's better.
elsewhere in europe, this is funny. this is a swiss finance minister hans rudolph addressing his country's parliament when he was in inplikably overcome by a case of the swiss giggles. [ speaking foreign language ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i watched it about 11 times in a row on youtube. and i like it more every time of see it. i got curious about what was making him laugh so hard. we had it translated. here's what he was trying to say anyway.
2012. we have to wait till 2015 to find one we care about. but it's so funny he's doing this. just yesterday i was saying i've always wanted to feel closer to jar jar binks and now i can. [ laughter ] exciting news for justin bieber fans. in december, just in time for christmas, they're putting out two types of justin bieber dolls. good justin and bad justin. don't even try to get one. because i ordered all of them. [ laughter ] obviously, this will be the perfect gift for the hormonal young girl in your life but it's also a great item for their brothers to strap a bottle rocket to and shoot into traffic. [ applause ] even though with this -- you know, the economy is very doubtful. they're expected to be a huge, huge seller. here's the story from wgn earlier today. >> take a look at what's sure to be the hottest toy this christmas. it is a justin bieber doll. yes, he has his own doll and it is coming out in time for christmas.
the dolls go on sale in december and cost $28. for those with bieber fever who can't wait, just dig up an old ken doll and put a mushroom on his head. >> jimmy: practical. that's what my parents would have done. this is pretty good. this is from youtube. video of a woman in texas getting a tattoo. i don't have any tattoos because i think they look weird when you get old and also they hurt. i guess i didn't realize just how much they hurt until i saw this. >> ow, ow! >> don't move. >> ow! ow! wait! ow! i'm sorry, it hurts. >> next time you move, you're going to mess up your tattoo -- >> okay, okay, okay. >> all right? >> ow! ow! ow! wait, wait, wait. i can't take it. >> hasn't even started yet. >> oh! it's killing me. it's killing me. ow! easy! ow! ow!
okay. i can't -- ow! ow! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: went on for about another four hours. hey, listen. if you want the lyrics to funky cold medina on your back, there's a price to pay. some big tv industry news. jeff zucker who was the chief executive at nbc universal was fired. nbc hasn't had a great decade. things have not been the same since "wings" went away, the fact of the matter is. jeff zucker took the network from first place in prime time to fourth place. co comcast bought the company. he said the choice to go was not his own. he held a press conference. he was remarkably candid about some of his -- i guess you'd call them failures during his time at nbc. >> it's clear to me this is the
right decision for both me and for the company. i'm very proud of all the programs i helped bring to fruition during my tenure here at nbc universal. and i'd like to highlight just a few of them now. ♪ lipstick jungle. daddio. gladiators had to go. cy tv. identity. l.a.x. jay leno's show. the men's room. how we do it. i was drunk. age of love. e-ring. not as bad as coupling. go fish. hang time. neither one made a dime. bionic woman. singing bee. my own worst enemy. heroes. mercy. kind of lame. joey. kidnapped. down in flames. merlin. drama. say good-bye. kath and kim up and die. i just got fired. me jeff zucker. why the [ bleep ] hey now i just got fired. by the jerks at comcast. they can kiss my bald ass. come to papa. weakest link. bingo night. that wasn't me.
thank god that was abc. i'm not finished. what about i'm a celebrity get me out of here? mama's boys. baby borrowers. >> jimmy: there was a show called baby borrowers? from one of the jewels in the crown jeff zuker is about to relingish from cnbc, our unintentional joke of the day. >> the ceo of maiden form. thank you for being here. how many did you get into women's underwear? >> not a bad question. we have a good show tonight. busy phillips is here. we have music from sharon jones and the dap kings. ♪
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town," a wild-life tleem edthem program that airs wednesday night hearse on abc, busy phillips. she's a former corrections officer at rikers island turned soul singer. this is their fourth record. sharon jones and the dap kings from the bud light stage. it's a good looking record. you know? reminds me of the old days. tomorrow night on the show, vanessa williams will be here. david cross will be here. we'll have music from the avett brothers. just in case you have time to watch. our first guest tonight is an exceptionally funny man. i think he could do it professionally if he tried. you know him from "the soup" on e! and "community" which airs on nbc, please welcome joel mchale. [ cheers and applause ]
how are you? hello, sir. you look very snazzy. >> yes, thank you. >> jimmy: you look like you could be one of the guys on this album. >> i don't think i'm the right color. very happy to be on that cover. look how they are. >> jimmy: they don't look happy at all. >> it's going to be love songs, jerk. >> jimmy: it's like they're about to mug her. >> yeah. get her. but they really spruced up the floor on that. that looks nice. >> jimmy: cleaned up nice. last time you were here -- i guess you've had a whole lifetime of concussions. >> i have. 12 minutes talking about my head injuries. >> jimmy: i don't remember. >> see what i did? yeah, you're like my italian dr. oz because i would like to tell you about more medical problems. >> jimmy: do you have more
medical problems? would you like to disrobe before we get into this? >> no one wants to see -- no, you don't want to see. i have three nipples so -- one's on my back. [ laughter ] no, i -- >> jimmy: what happened to you? >> you've had this before but i have -- i've had some food poisoning. you want to hear about that? >>. >> jimmy: i have had that. i told you a horrible story i really can't share. >> i think you should. >> jimmy: maybe later. >> it's awesome. >> jimmy: no, this is your time to shine, joel. >> you're right. i was with you and adam carolla. no. and were coming back from vegas. this actually is the story. no. i was doing an improv show in wall la wall la washington. >> jimmy: nice. >> yeah. no, now they make wine there so i love it. but i ate some bad eggs that morning. >> jimmy: really, bad eggs? >> no, they were good at the time. but about eight hours later, they said, we need to get out of
here. and i was on stage. and you know that moment where you have moment where you go like, oh. oh. oh, no. [ laughter ] i was like, can i get a suggestion from the audience, room in the house i could vomit? my body was still kind of -- you just get through the show. it was very difficult. as soon as the show was over, the adrenaline stopped and then i began to run to my motel room because didn't want to leave a trail of waste. and, um -- i got to my hotel room and my fellow improv body ys like, we got to do the second show. then it got really bad. and i curled around the toilet. and this is horrible. and i basically got frozen as all my orifices had a yard sale. >> jimmy: what do you mean
frozen? >> i couldn't move my head. for whatever reason on the television was donald sutherland in "invasion of the body snatchers." >> jimmy: no, was it really? >> like, i want to die. i got to that point where i was like, you know, if i die tonight, that would be better, because i -- there's no way i can't feel worse. >> jimmy: there are times when you actually wish for death and you think i'll take it if it's offered to me. >> i was willing to go. i died. >> jimmy: you really have food poisoning. i think that, like, 90% of the time people say they have food poisoning, they're actually sick but they don't want you to know they're contagious so they're lying. >> especially on dates. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, for sure. >> yeah, no, and -- >> jimmy: have you had it more than one time in your life? >> oh, yes i have. i will tell you. now, raw tuna seems like something you should eat all the time. there couldn't be any problems with that. so i had that for dinner.
the next morning i was going to go shoot the second movies was ever going to be in. it was porn but still -- no, i'm sorry. and so around 3:00 that morning i once again in bed was like -- [ laughter ] and then i sprinted to the toilet. and it was awesome. and, uh, i had to get in the car to drive to long beach and be there by 6:00 and i wanted to get some immode yum which is now a product -- >> jimmy: they just made a fortune. people are taking it even if they don't need it. >> but i had to get some immodium and i knew there was one 24-hour grocery store and i went to it and it was closed because they were remodelling it. i was so out of it that i walk into the the store while they were remodelling it. guys just carrying crap around. and boards and hammering. i got the immodium and stood in line to pay for it. the guy was like, hey, man, what are you doing? i'm like, i need this.
and he literally -- take it, get out of here, take it. i was like, okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow, the compassion of the construction worker. you don't normally hear about that. >> i got a tattoo after that and we dated. >> jimmy: your parents live in seattle. >> yes. they actually came here the first time i was on the show. >> jimmy: that's right. do you visit them a lot? >> a lot, yes. >> jimmy: or do they visit you? >> no, we go up there a lot because now we have two kids and they have to see them. >> jimmy: when is the last time you were up there? >> when is the last time? 2001. i don't know their names. no. we -- the last time we were there we went to this restaurant. it was a brand-new restaurant. it still continues to be. and the waitress, the serve, sorry, and they -- i ordered a salad because i'm gay. and -- no. i have to lose weight all the
time. man-arexic. she went over the dressings. i was like, what do you got? she's like, thousand island, ranch, "balsmamic." and a low calorie. i was like, what is that? thousand island, ranch, "balsmamic." i was like, okay, i will have that. then -- >> jimmy: she didn't -- >> no, she had no idea and i was a jerk for not correcting her. >> jimmy: is that like balsamic and salami or something? >> i don't know. i felt bad. then the next night it was a coincidence but my wife's family had booked the same restaurant. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> i was like, oh, you're not going to believe this. i was so way more excited than i should have been. i had been building up. like wait till you meet this lady. we want that table. sat down. what kind of dressing do you have? thousand island. and ranch. and she's like "balslamiy."
wand i was like yes. >> jimmy: did she understand why you were reacting? >> no, it must have been strange to see a guy get so excited about salad dressing. >> jimmy: this guy loves "balslamic" salad dressing. >> yes. >> jimmy: so this is your second season of "community." that's a big deal because most shows do not make it to a second show. people don't realize the odds. like 25 shows and put 56 them on and then most of them get canceled. this is great it's going well for you. >> thank god. yeah, we -- it's like scaling everest. so meaning that that's how difficult it is. no one has died yet on the show. i'm actually going back there right after this. >> jimmy: oh, you are? >> yes, i was there and i'm going back. >> jimmy: what were you shooting today? just to give us an idea. >> we -- most of the cast will be naked so today --
>> jimmy: naked, why? >> yeah. it's a group strip search. and -- >> jimmy: great. >> you think i'm joking. and yeah it's going to be -- >> jimmy: you will actually be naked? >> i will actually see chevy chase mostly naked. so i will let you know. yes. i don't know how -- i've been naked a lot on the show. >> jimmy: you have been naked a couple of times on the show. >> it's strange. >> jimmy: is there someone -- >> there's no love scenes happening. >> jimmy: just naked. >> i play pool naked. i'm not joking. i had to -- went on the pool table and i literally had to lean over to get the ball and i went like that. >> jimmy: yeah, that's -- >> the whole cast was right there. and i thought -- >> jimmy: if you were doing that, that's where you'd expect -- >> except there would be a lot of smiles on their faces. >> jimmy: well, congratulations. of course, "the soup" is still very funny. you're not naked on that,
though, right? >> no, haven't been naked once. >> jimmy: that's good news. save it for network. joel mchale, everybody. "community" on nurse. we'll be right back with busy phillips. it's work through the grime and the muck, month. tow and pull without getting stuck month. sweat every day to make an honest buck...month. and if you're gonna try and do this in anything other than a chevy... well, good luck...month. great deals on the complete family of chevy trucks all backed for a hundred thousand miles. it's truck month. now, during truck month, get 0% apr financing on all trucks and full-size suvs like this 2011 silverado. see your local chevrolet dealer. our professionals hair care line. [ male stylist 1 ] i love natural ingredients. [ female stylist 2 ] i'm jealous. [ female announcer ] but it's not a salon brand. it's suave professionals. [ female announcer ] suave professionals with natural almond and shea butter is salon-proven to moisturize as well as aveda dry remedy.
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>> jimmy: hi, >> jimmy: hi, everyone. welcome back to the television show. you know our next guest from "freaks and geeks" and "dawson's greek." her latest project is alongside courteney cox. "cougar town." wednesday nights on abc. please say hello to busy phillips. [ cheers and applause ] how's everything? >> everything's good. >> jimmy: i like that dress. if i was a woman, and i will be one day if the testing goes as i hope, i would wear a dress like that. >> joel and i were joking we kind of look like we're dressed
up for halloween going to a "mad men" party. >> jimmy: stylish and business-like at the same time. your full legal name is business phillips, true? >> that's what busy is short for. >> jimmy: i think we talked last time, it's not short for anything. >> it's for elizabeth loosely. >> jimmy: with a weird speech impet meant attached to it. >> busy. >> jimmy: welcome, it's good to see you. >> good to see you too. >> jimmy: i hear your parents live in arizona. >> hear your parents live in arizona. >> jimmy: we should get them together on some sort of weird parent date. parents in arizona or just crazy? do you visit your parents a lot? >> i do. i have a 2-year-old and so my parents like to see her. much like joel and his family. when you have kids, they like to see them. >> jimmy: it seems to happen a lot. >> once you make that leap, then you're committed. >> jimmy: it's also a good thing
because you can kind of take a little break from constantly attending to your child. >> yes. well, one would think, yes. >> jimmy: why -- >> no, my parents are great. >> jimmy: your parents are careless? >> no, not at all. i just -- i took my daughter recently back to arizona to visit. my sister's expecting a baby in, like, a week. >> jimmy: is she pregnant? >> she's pregnant. >> jimmy: good. >> that's a valid question. she could be adopting. >> jimmy: or just insane. yes, we're expecting a baby any day now. >> we don't know it's where coming from. >> jimmy: we're looking to the sky. hopefully one will drop in. >> no, so i threw her a baby shower and i took my daughter birdie back and i kind of -- as you probably know when you visit arizona -- do you visit your parents? >> jimmy: i try not to. my parents come here a lot so, yeah, i don't go there that much. >> my parents prefer to go to las vegas over coming here. >> jimmy: i grew up in las vegas so that's another spot to me
that i go to mostly for family oriented type of things. >> right. >> jimmy: like you -- i know you're laughing but i'm not kidding. >> yeah, well, birdie is -- >> jimmy: birdie like the bird birdie? >> birdie like a bird. like ladybird johnson which is who she is sort of named after. >> jimmy: is she really? why? >> because we were listening to npr, i'm smart, and right after my husband and i got married and ladybird johnson had just passed away and there was sort of an amazing beautiful story about her and her beautification projects and how she was just sort of this incredible american woman and my husband turned to me and said, that's such a great nickname, lady bird. call a kid birdie. that's so cool. and we kept it, like, in the back of our minds. when i was pregnant. p, he was really gunning for birdie. i had a whole thing -- >> jimmy: with a shotgun or -- >> no, but i had a whole thing about how since i grew up with the nickname it's really hard to
name your child like that's a name and then call her birdie. every first day of school and your substitute teacher and you have to constantly -- which is what i had to do the whole life. so if we're going to call this kid birdie, it's not anything but birdie. >> jimmy: her legal name is birdie? >> her legal name is birdie lee silverstein, yeah. >> jimmy: birdie lee silverstein? >> she's going to be like the first jewish country singer ever. >> jimmy: wow. >> that's where we're -- that's what we're going for. we bought her guitars and drum sets. >> jimmy: tease her hair up. >> some point. >> jimmy: maybe for halloween you start out, you know with some sort of a country sicker costume. >> she's 2 and she has specific ideas -- you have a child. >> jimmy: my daughter is 19 and my son is 17. >> i'm sure she has specific ideas about what she wants to be. >> jimmy: one year my daughter wanted to be a door for
halloween. >> that's so cute. >> jimmy: so i had to make a door and then the idea was when she would show up at the door, they would see another door. >> that is awesome. >> jimmy: yeah, it was a goods could too many. >> what a creative cool kid. >> jimmy: she's institutionalized right now. what does your daughter want to be? >> keep in mind she's 2. she's very verbal. i asked her what she wanted to be and she said a pim cumpkin. i was so proud because i have the only 2-year-old girl that doesn't want to be the princess. then i took her to see the tinker bell movie. now she wants to be tinker bell. >> jimmy: i think that's better because if she's dressed as a pumpkin some maniac might try to carve her or something. crazy people on halloween. >> i'm going to try to combine the two costumes. >> jimmy: a little pumpkin that floats around and has wings and dust comes out.
>> i think that will be cute. >> jimmy: that will be hard to explain. it's probably not worth it. on "cougar dotown" town i've hed from members of the cast a lot of drinking goes on. does this happen before you start working? >> here's what happened. we were a little vocal about how we like to get a little loose with the sauce. then right before -- because the show -- if you've watchped the show and, people, you really should, because it's really funny. we drink a lot on the show. the whole show is basically about drinking. and so anyway, in some interviews that the cast had been doing, we were vocal about that. and then right before we went back to work we got a talking to by the producers. they said, guys, know you guys have a lot of fun but for the first six episodes can you really just keep it down because we need it to be -- >> jimmy: really? >> it was a little intense. guys, we just finished our sixth episode so we're back.
>> jimmy: is that right, the first six epsopds? >> well, it hasn't aired yet. >> jimmy: so the drunk episode will air next month sometime? >> right after halloween. >> jimmy: that will be fun to compare and contrast. >> here's what -- brian who's on the show brought up an interesting point. we got a lot of positive press towards the end of last season about the turnaround of the show and how it had become this really great ensemble of people you want to hang out with. we were loaded. maybe there's something to it. our acting gets better. >> jimmy: when jennifer aniston was on l.a. weast week, she was drunk when she did the show? >> no. >> jimmy: that's a shame. talk for a moment about how amazing she was. >> well -- >> jimmy: you have to, right? >> i was stuck over in the c story line, jimmy. i didn't have any interaction. it was kind of a bummer. >> jimmy: maybe next time she's on the show. well, it's very good to see you. i hope the halloween goes well. >> thank you. >> jimmy: just steer clear of
maniacs. it great to see you. "cougar town." wednesday nights on abc. busy phillips. be right back with sharon jones and the dap kings. ♪ [ instrumental: rock ] [ announcer ] on rare occasions, opposites can coexist. introducing the sport hybrid. [ engine revving ] ♪ night and day ♪ you are the one ♪ only you beneath the moon ♪ or under the sun the combination only honda could engineer. the all-new cr-z sport hybrid. ♪ talking about nutrition [ female announcer ] "i can't believe it's not butter" with no trans fat and 70% less saturated fat than butter. butter taste, better health.
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♪ ♪ they say money is the root of all evil but there ain't nothing evil about money ♪ ♪ what's going on in the world right now ♪ the president the economy up and down ♪ ♪ wall street up an and down ♪ don't you need that money ♪ i don't know about ya'll but the dap kings yeah ♪ ♪ you know what we need yo ♪ money where have you gone to money where have you gone to ♪ ♪ i gotta pay my bills gotta pay my rent i'm hungry and i'm tired but my money's all spent ♪ ♪ money where have you gone to money where are you hiding ♪ ♪ i said money
where are you hiding ♪ ♪ i work like a dog year after year like a ghost when i need you you always disappear ♪ ♪ money where are you hiding money why won't you stay a while ♪ ♪ i said money why won't you stay a while you see ♪ ♪ you see we scrimp we save like to keep you around when you needed you're nowhere to be found ♪ ♪ money why won't you stay a while money ♪ talking about that money ♪ a mama will get that money ♪ you need that money ♪ everybody need it ♪ i need it ♪ everybody need it money
why don't you like me ♪ ♪ money why don't you like me was it something that i said was it something that i done ♪ ♪ i always let you play me but you never liked me none money ♪ ♪ why don't you like me everybody needs money what you gonna do ♪ ♪ without that money never gonna get through everybody needs money what you gonna do ♪ ♪ without that money never gonna get through everybody needs money what you gonna do ♪ ♪ without that money never gonna get through everybody needs money what you gonna do ♪ ♪ without that money never gonna get through everybody needs money what you gonna do ♪ ♪ without that money never gonna get through everybody needs money ♪ ♪ what you gonna do without that money never gonna get through ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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