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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  February 24, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EST

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for "nightline," i'm stephanie s sy in new york. >> fascinating. our thanks to stephanie. thank you for watching abc news. check in with "good morning america." jimmy kimmel's next. good night, america. up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> every time i turn on the tv, i see a hairy, orange creature running around. i can't tell if it's snooki or the lorax. joel mchale. >> from "wanderlust," justin theroux. >> and music from die antwoord. >> we put a hot dog on top of each poster. and whichever one
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>> jimmy: hi. i'm jimmy kimmel. on february 29th, for the first time ever, disneyland will be open for 24 hours straight. to celebrate this historic occasion, we sent our parking lot security guard, guillermo, to the happiest place on earth. to challenge people to spot him on the it's a small world ride. >> hi. it's me, guillermo. i'm here at small world. i'm about to play this game, to go inside and hide. if you find me, you're going to get a special surprise, okay? >> yeah. >> you want to do this? >> yeah. >> okay, let's go. ♪ it's a world of laughter a world of tears ♪
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♪ it's a world of and a world of fears ♪ ♪ it's a small world after all ♪ it's a small world after all ♪ ♪ it's a small world after all ♪ ♪ it's a small world after all ♪ >> oh, you find me. yeah. look. i'm a pink rhino. okay. it's a small world. wow, that was fun. here's the special surprise. tickets for disneyland and the magic kingdom, are opened 24 hours on february 29th. don't forget to come. bye. >> jimmy: you did it again, guillermo. "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with joel mchale, justin theroux and music from and most im its lobster. y, it's the tastiest, the sweetest, the freshest. nobody can ever get enough. [ male announcer ] it's lobsterfest at red lobster, the one time of year you can savor
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12 exciting lobster entrees like lobster lover's dream or new maine lobster and shrimp trio. [ laura ] hot, right out of the shell. i love lobster. i'm laura mclennan from spruce head, maine, and i sea food differently. we tweet from here while we are on the road. we just be on our blackberry, yo, we're playing this, we're playing that. keeping our fans up to date. we have this thing just keeping us on track. we need tools... not toys. [ male announcer ] blackberry bold. be bold.
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- joel mchale. justin theroux.
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and music from die antwoord. with cleto and the cletones. and now, put your hands together, here's jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. everyone's here tonight. thanks for coming. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. and for coming. [ cheers and applause ] making it through a maze of academy awardyness. do we have peizzeria owners her tonight? we met a couple from chicago. they have a place dahled dino's pizza. >> dino's pizza. >> jimmy: and you're offering what right now? a free slice of pepperoni.
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>> absolutely. >> jimmy: guillermo, keep an eye on her, will you? >> i will. >> jimmy: a lot of enthusiasm. there's a lot going on outside our theater right now, in preparation for the oscars on sunday. this is crazy. yesterday, they rolled out the red carpet. they do it a few days in advance. they found the "slumdog millionaire" kids squatting inside. they've been in there for two years. to give you an update and a bird's-eye view of the action, we placed our friend yehya on the roof tonight. and let's go on the roof with yehya, shall we? [ cheers and applause ] hello, yehya. >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: you are in front of the theater right now? >> no. it's behind me. not front. [ laughter ] jimmy, i'm on the roof. live from "jimmy kimmel live" today. >> jimmy: yes. >> behind me, the theater -- the kodak theater.
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a lot going on. red carpet, covered with the plastic. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and i hope -- meryl streep she win an oscar for the movie "margaret thatcher," the english woman. and the charlize mcclean. and brigitte. and a lot of celebrities win. for him, i pray. >> jimmy: yehya, i couldn't hear any of that. we're having trouble with your microphone. could you repeat that, please? >> one more time? >> jimmy: huh? >> yes. for los angeles, you know, margaret thatcher. and the movie "help." and i don't know the names. she's very nice. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and then, sherlie mclane. a long time in france. and also, brigitte. >> jimmy: okay.
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>> and behind me, kodak theater. they covered the red carpet with the plastic. >> jimmy: yes. >> and here, the chinese. and they have a lot of -- i don't know. it's for sunday. it's all crazy, after two days, you know? >> jimmy: yeah, i know. >> it's fun. and i pray for everyone, especially -- >> jimmy: okay. thank you. that's yehya. see him work. [ cheers and applause ] on the roof of our theater. it's like -- it's like "access hollywood" meets al-jazeera. [ laughter ] on sunday night, make sure to stay up after your late local news for our seventh annual "jimmy kimmel live: after the academy awards" special. we'll have music from coldplay. and we'll have a bunch of things that i think you'll like. and my guest will be oprah winfrey. [ cheers and applause ] i think the last time i was this excited was when my parents gave
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us atari for christmas. [ laughter ] steven tyler will be a part of our show on sunday night. [ cheers and applause ] tonight on "american idol," 12 men and 12 women remain, which is good because now steven can really zero in on which ones he wants to have sex with. [ laughter ] and with that said, it's time for steven tyler's creepy leer of the night. ♪ trouble with love it is ♪ ♪ it doesn't care how fast you fall ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: give that girl a pillow on youtube. next week, viewer voting begins. and once again, america will select an "american idol." maybe we should let another country select one this time. our track record, quite frankly, isn't so great. the lord gifted us with a new episode of "jersey shore" tonight on mtv. the gang this evening, embarked
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to find a dumpster to pee behind. snooki's boyfriend, jonny appeared tonight. but jonny drank too much and got sick. we thought it would be great to combine audio from that golden moment, with video from "the flintstones." i think you'll agree, a classic was born. >> we're going. >> i will throw up so fast. i'll brush my teeth. i promise. >> i will get in tonight. i haven't seen jonny in a like a week. and i am excited to touch his [ bleep ] and make out with him and get it in. jonny? i'm waiting. honestly, on, jonny's sick or whatever. i feel bad. but i'm going to [ bleep ] with my boyfriend. so, why are you puking right now? let's have sex. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> it was especially difficult in prehistoric times when toilets were made out of alligators. it's funny. every time i turn on the tv, i see a hairy little orange creature running around. i can't tell if it's snooki or the lorax. speaking of the lorax, lou dobbs took an interesting stand on his show. lou dobbs does a show on the fox business channel. and i think lou might be out of things to get mad about. >> "the lorax," an adaptation of the dr. seuss book. the lorax speaks for the trees and fights rampant industrialism. >> did you chop down this tree? >> what's that? i think he did it. >> huh? >> the president's liberal friends in hollywood, targeting a younger demographic, using animated movie to sell their agenda to children. >> jimmy: the president's liberal friends. this is a book written by
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dr. seuss in 1971. is the president he's talking about president nixon? [ laughter ] who comes out against "the lorax"? lou dobbs. that's who. i don't know. it could be his shoes were too tight. could be, his head wasn't screwed on just right. and rest assured, the lorax is just the tip of lou's iceberg. lou also will not rest until this illegal so-called explorer, is sent back to the country where she came from. [ laughter ] republican president debate number -- presidential debate number 26 was held last night in mesa, arizona. immigration was a big topic. there were a lot of topics discussed in this debate last night. but none more notable than the fact that after 26 debates, ron paul still hasn't found a suit that fits him. ron paul is a character. this is how he introduced himself last night. >> i'm congressman ron paul. the congressman from texas. i'm the defender of the constitution. i'm the champion of liberty.
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>> jimmy: is he running for president? or auditioning for "batman"? [ laughter ] newt gingrich told reporters yesterday that for lent, he's giving up desserts. so, if you're anywhere in the vicinity of newt gingrich for the next few weeks, don't wear anything that might possibly resemble pie. these debates aren't the most exciting events to start with. but after 26 of them, it's time to spice things up. tonight, we took the candidates from introductions last night, they introduced themselves. and we used google translate to turn those into russian. then, translated the russian into chinese. and translated the chinese back to english. and this is how it came out. >> member of the house of representatives rowen. a palo congress from texas. i guard the constitution. i am the free champion. >> serk to santorum, the route map. with me, we saw the massive anxiety in the flame middle east and this country.
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the natural gas price and the state of business. in here with me, which appears related to the positive resolution conversation, stands to the country, including everybody from bottom-to-top. >> you think my jinliqi. i start for u.s. energy's program. not always tied once for to saudi arabian king. each american anticipates each gallon gasoline $2.50 u.s. >> i have a glove. with romney is in this national time. when you knew if you work diligently and goes to the school. and if you already understood in your family and u.s.' values, you may calculate one safe future and wealthy life. this is u.s.'s college. i must restore the u.s.'s promise. how do i manage? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know. i have a glove. [ cheers and applause ] not as catchy as, i have a dream. but he's trying. rick santorum is doing surprisingly well so far. he's neck and neck with mitt romney. and some polls have him in the lead. his message is resonating with
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conservative voters. and he isn't afraid to speak passionately about the things he cares about. >> the reason i think we're doing well in this campaign, is because we're being available to the american public, no teleprompters, no written speeches. the opportunity to see what's in here. what's up here. and what's burning down here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: down there, i guess. as i mentioned earlier, the 84th annual academy awards air live on sunday at 7:00 eastern, 4:00 pacific here on abc. it's the night we managed to turn our attention away from the teachers and firefighters and shine our spotlight on the real heroes, the actors who pretend to be teachers and firefighters. and if you're planning to bet on the oscars this year, you're here on a good night because all this week, an extraordinary animal has been making oscar predictions for us. he's uggie, the dog from "the artist." best picture nominee, "the artist." he picked george clooney for
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best actor. and meryl streep for best actress last night. and tonight, uggie will make his pick for the biggest category of all, best picture. let's bring our prost nognostic out right now, uggie, everyone. uggie, the dog. there he is. that's uggie. [ cheers and applause ] good to see you. we have posters for each of the best picture nominees. we have "tree of life." "moneyball," "midnight in paris." "hugo." "extremely loud & incredible close," and "the descendants." we put a hot dog on top of each poster. and whichever one that uggie goes that, that's the movie he thinks will win. this is also how we're going to vote for president in this country. all right, uggie. pick a film. uggie's confused. uggie's going to his trainer. uggie, go get the hot dog, uggie. uggie?
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uggie? oh, uggie likes his own movie. [ cheers and applause ] "the artist." uggie picks "the artist." dogs are very loyal. oh, and uggie also likes "hugo." thank you, uggie. we've got a good show for you tonight. from the new movie "wanderlust," justin theroux is here. we have music from die antwoord. and we'll be right back with joel mchale. so, stick around. [ cheers and applause ] 5-hour energy? when i'm on overtime. when i'm in over my head. when i have to be sharp... no matter how many time zones i've crossed. when i'm on my feet for hours. when it's game time. when the day's only half over but my energy is all gone. when i need the energy to start exercising.
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every day. every day. every day is a 5-hour energy day. 5-hour energy. every day. sergio! christina! question for you. what factors led you to buy your explorer. definitely the ecoboost option. what's pretty amazing is that you can get the fuel economy of a car in an suv. that basically did it for us. and the technology... oh, my goodness, the technology is amazing. everything is touch. you can actually talk to the car and it talks back to you. what have your friends said about your explorer? can we drive it? can we borrow it? what's your answer? no. no way. uh uh. (laugh) [ male announcer ] take a dull morning... ♪ ...and make it wild. ♪ introducing wild fruit fusion pop tarts all the fruit flavors you love... in a tasty new combination.
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mornin' melt breakfast sandwiches. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, hi, there. welcome back. tonight on the program, a very funny writer and actor, whom you can see in the movie "wanderlust," alongside paul rudd and jennifer aniston,
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starting tomorrow. justin theroux is here. [ cheers and applause ] and then, they are here from south africa to freak everyone out. with music from this album, which comes out next tuesday called "tension." die antwoord from the bud light stage. [ cheers and applause ] you will either love them or hate them. and again, join us on sunday night, oscar sunday, for the seventh annual "jimmy kimmel live: after the academy awards" special, with music from coldplay, and the premiere of our all-star video production of "movie: the movie." starring george clooney, tom hanks, meryl streep, sam jackson, josh brolin, bryan cranston, charlize theron, jessica biel, even martin scorsese. and 26 more. all of your favorite actors are in there. all of them. and our guest is oprah winfrey. so, do not miss it. sunday, after the oscars, after the late local news. two days ago, the announcement that our first guest's critically-acclaimed show "community," would return to television after all caused an eruption of joy across the internet.
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people even stopped looking at porn for like 30 seconds. "community" returns march 15th. and you can watch his other show, "the soup," every wednesday night on e! please welcome joel mchale. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] how are you? >> i'm well. >> jimmy: i like that suit. it's very snazzy. >> yes, that's true. you look very different. you look like you've gained weight. [ laughter ] you look terrible. >> jimmy: i put on about 130. how are you? everything all right? >> yeah, a lot better than two days ago. "community" is back, though. >> jimmy: they said your show's on hiatus. which usually means bye-atus.
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>> it's like being in a coma. but thank god for the internet. it exploded. >> jimmy: people wrote in. >> yeah. there was flash mobs and rioting. i don't know if you've seen what's happening in syria. but that was because of "community." >> jimmy: that is right? >> i couldn't believe it. huge fans in the middle east. >> jimmy: i didn't realize it had that impact. >> it's going to bring israel and iran together. >> jimmy: and nbc said, all right. >> we're going to put you up against "american idol" and "big bang theory," no problem. and we'll put you between march madness basketball. no problem. >> jimmy: last weekend -- >> i was with you last weekend. >> jimmy: you were with me. >> i was at jimmy's house last weekend. >> jimmy: not in that way, with me. >> it was just hand stuff. sorry. jimmy threw a party at his home. and he was very nice to invite me. >> jimmy: i always invite you when i have a party at my house.
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>> mr. howard stern was there. >> jimmy: he was there. >> and it was the second time he had a party with him there. and it was the second time i did not meet him. i wanted to meet him so bad. and i just never -- >> jimmy: what happened? why didn't you meet him? >> jimmy, tell him i'm matthew willard. i played shaggy. i don't know how it happened. >> jimmy: you're in the same house. you know what? probably, you maybe were -- you didn't want to force yourself on him. is that what it was? >> there was that. and there was a lot of jell-o shots. and i lost it. by the way, you have an amazing home. >> jimmy: thank you. >> for those of you that go someday, after the apocalypse, when the apocalypse hits, jimmy will be -- his home is self-sustaining. >> jimmy: why do you say that. >> you have chickens. >> jimmy: not yet. >> you have a chicken coop. i brought my children over. and they played in it. he has an outdoor pizza furnace. >> jimmy: yes. furnace. >> and fruit and vegetables
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everywhere. >> jimmy: yes. >> do you have a cache of weapons? i would love it if you put the wall around. starving people are trying to get in. and you're like, welcome to jimmy kimmel dead. it's a fantasy i have. >> jimmy: i have like a storage room that's like a miniature costco. it's just full of food i will never eat. >> do you go to costco yourself? >> jimmy: every saturday. >> what possibly could you get there every saturday? >> jimmy: i'll take you along sometime if you'd like to come. >> i would love to go. >> jimmy: i'm thinking of getting a bigger truck because it doesn't fit. >> you're a hoarder. how many rolls of toilet paper do you have at your house right now? >> jimmy: you'd be surprised. you'd be surprised how many i go through. it's not -- >> i know you had a weight loss. but -- >> jimmy: it's not just -- you know, i have people over and stuff like that. but also, i like to vandalize homes. >> oh. >> jimmy: or go to rite aid and buy them individually? >> no. i thought people would do that
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for you. >> jimmy: the reason i brought up last week, i know you hosted the writers guild award. >> yes. untelevised. don't worry. and you told me there because this show was nominated. and you told me, like, i'm not going. >> jimmy: yeah. >> he's like, we lose every year to the kennedy center honors. >> jimmy: every year we go. we lose. >> a very weird category. >> jimmy: it has no writing in it whatsoever. and we all leave depressed. >> and then, he won. >> jimmy: we won this year. >> the show won. [ cheers and applause ] and i noticed, the kennedy center honored this year were not as funny, as usual. you won. and it was ironic. >> jimmy: did you accept the award? >> i accepted the award for jimmy. >> jimmy: where is that award? >> i threw it in the garbage. >> jimmy: you, as the acceptee, should have brought me the award. >> oh, now i'm your servant.
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i'm your assistant that have has to all these things? >> jimmy: in a way, yeah. >> i would have. but it was too heavy. >> jimmy: you have three boys, right? how old are the kids now? >> i have two. one just turned 7. and one's about to turn 4. >> jimmy: you have two. i'm sorry. there's one living in the chicken coop, actually. you left him there. >> he prefers it, greatly. we just had the 7-year-old's party. if you live in southern california, you have a pinata because there are -- is a small latino population here. and their influence, though, is very wide. and if you've ever been to a kid's party, it's the one time all the kids come together because they have bloodlust. >> jimmy: yeah. >> one time we had two. last year, we had two pinatas. and one of them was buzz lightyear. which is in the shape of a human and larger than my son. he was very excited. but the party was over. and he said i'm going to take
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this one apart myself. and he began whacking this person, that we hung from a tree. and it wasn't really going well. so, then, he goes, lower it. and i lowered it. he held on to the leg and was just stabbing him in the foot. and it still wasn't happening. so, i took a knife and slit the guy's chest open. he ripped it open and shoved his head into it. and i'm like, this is some sort of ritual hate crime that i've taught my son. >> jimmy: it probably means he will become a doctor. you can tell everything you need to know about a kid, watching him around a pinata. >> so, doctors rip -- >> jimmy: doctors break open the rib cage. and go in for the -- in this case, candy. >> when he's 30, he'll do pist first operation because there's no candy in his chest cavity. >> jimmy: we're going to take a quick break. "the soup" is still on. wednesdays at 10:00 on e! and "community," thursday, march 15th. we'll be right back with joel
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mchale. [ cheers and applause ] with a selec-terrain dial that adjusts the jeep grand cherokee's performance for specific weather and road conditions, even heavy snowstorms won't keep you from getting to work... our apologies. how about we make a big change for just a little money? let's start with a paint we know can do the job. new glidden duo paint plus primer available only at the home depot. one coat does double duty. and fits our budget perfectly.
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so close. and this is your brain... on hulu plus. and this is your brain with a little sprig of mint. will (v.o.): hulu plus. catchphraser3: "that's hot" will (v.o.): an evil(er) plot to destroy the world. enjoy. i had a good chance of making the olympics. tried one of those new tricks called a cab double cork then all of a sudden... snowboarder, kevin pearce, remains in a coma tonight after a tragic snowboarding accident. i've been healing through this whole thing, so people have been able to stay excited. the coolest has been to be able to go on and watch these videos of me snowboarding again. i made it. i'm here. i'm chillin'.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: joel mchale. justin theroux and die antwoord on the way. one of your -- is chevy chase. i saw the producer on your show, the creator of your show,
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tweeted a bad word about chevy. >> what word? >> jimmy: the "d" word. >> yeah. they -- >> jimmy: that seems like a bad sign when the boss is calling one of his actors a [ bleep ]. >> i have called you a [ bleep ] on twitter like 12 times. and you never responded. [ laughter ] it was a very loving [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: why did he do that? what happened there? was there an incident? >> well, chevy has very sharp nipples. >> jimmy: i heard that. >> they would hurt anybody in the cast. they are always out. and if he brushes by you, he will slit you open. >> jimmy: you get along with chevy, right? >> i get along with chevy great. he's a legend and an icon. as i will and he will tell you. and -- no. i worked with him for three years now. we talk about his old movies and his old shows. >> jimmy: you bring them up? or he brings them up? >> i bring it up -- no. he brings it up 98% of the time.
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i'm kidding, chevy. he will e-mail me later. he will try to e-mail me. he will type me a letter and have a carrier pigeon bring it. like, the pony express is broken down today. this is going to take forever. that's how he types. >> jimmy: you have "caddyshack," "seems like old times." "fletch." "karate dog." >> jimmy: when you say "karate dog," tell us about that. >> i know you've all seen it. it was in contention for the oscar in 2004. >> jimmy: it was? >> it was. i can't believe it lost. "karate dog," was a simon rex vehicle. and jon voight played a texas karate -- a texan who knew car t karate with a morgan spurlock
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mustac mustache. and chevy played the dog who walked on his hind legs. i stumbled across it one night. and i thought, oh, my gosh. i have discovered gold. and i went online and bought every single copy of "karate dog" in existence. >> jimmy: how many copies did you buy? >> i bought about 60. all of the video stores that went out of business. like jack's village video store. and i began leaving them around the set for chevy to find. what the? he was tearing it open with his nipple. and then, at the end, i didn't do it enough. so, i had a bunch of extra copies. at the last day of work, we had a signing with the cast and crew, where he sat and signed "karate dog." and, jimmy, it works out perfectly. we have some leftover copies. and i would love to give some of
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them to you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is really great. >> okay. >> jimmy: thank you. wow. >> look at that. "karate dog." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: on dvd. >> right there. >> jimmy: you get a "karate dog." and you get a "karate dog." they're fun to throw. you get a "karate dog." >> the criterion, the blu-ray is coming out. i'm really hurting people. >> jimmy: i wonder if chevy would get sued if "karate dog" put someone's eye out. there you go. actor, comedian, and dvd aficiona aficionado. >> jimmy, stay heavy. love simon ray. >> jimmy: chevy would have signed that better.
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joel mchale. "the soup" airs wednesday nights at 10:00 on e! and "community" returns to nbc thursday, march 15th at 8:00. we'll be right back with justin theroux. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for
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clapping, guillermo. still to come, die antwoord will be here. our next guest has it made. he's a talented actor and screenwriter, who rides motorcycles, speaks chinese and has a silent "x" in his name. you can see him bearded and shirtless alongside jennifer aniston and paul rudd in the new comedy "wanderlust." >> reach down. >> okay. >> just wrap your fingers around the base of it. work the shaft down to the tip. and that's it. keep -- watch that. the hot white stuff just shoots out. flick the tip. >> what? >> flick the tip. >> oh, wow. >> did you get some? >> yeah. like a full load. wow. this feels so good. >> be careful, that will go on your belly. it's so satisfied, i once stroked a goat six times in one night. >> jimmy: "wanderlust" opens in theaters tomorrow. please say hello to justin theroux. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] what's happening? >> what's going on. >> jimmy: this is, correct me if i'm wrong, your first late night television appearance. correct? >> this is my first late night television appearance. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: first of all, it's customary to tip me after the interview. secondly, i have to ask you where you're from. >> washington, d.c. >> jimmy: you grew up and went to school there? >> i went to school there. i went to a couple schools in washington, d.c. >> jimmy: a couple. were you thrown out of one of them? >> a little. >> jimmy: a little bit. two of them? >> i was a little bit thrown out of a lot of them. >> jimmy: really? were you thrown out of private school? >> i went to public school first. then, i went to a catholic school, which did not end well. and then -- [ laughter ] and then, i went to a to a progressive school. and then, a more progressive school out of town. >> jimmy: that is progressive,
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when you're progressing away from your home. >> all the way, to another state. >> jimmy: public schools are kind of rough in washington, d.c., right? >> yes. >> jimmy: was yours? >> in washington, d.c. proper. it wasn't a rough school. it was kind of a -- the school was in the center of our neighborhood. and the neighborhood itself was not a terrible neighborhood. but it had a lot of, like, you know, boys. it was a very boy-heavy, kind of a "lords of the flies" kind of environment. >> jimmy: why was it boy-heavy? >> i don't know. there was a lot of irish families in the neighborhood. and they had all 13 kids or 14 kids. so, there was a lot of competition amongst the boys, just in general. >> jimmy: i see. >> it was the kind of thing in the neighborhood, if you had -- if you got into a fight with one of these boys, you would have to then -- like one that's your age, you would have to rely on your older brother to beat up that boy. >> jimmy: right. >> but then, that irish boy would bring another boy. they had deep benches.
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>> jimmy: his older brother. eventually, you're getting beaten by a 38-year-old. >> exactly. >> jimmy: did you have an older brother? >> i have an older brother. >> jimmy: did he -- was he forced to beat people for you on your behalf? >> he -- there was a time, yes. he would be very good on beating people on my behalf. the sullivan boys, you could not beat up. >> jimmy: the sullivan boys. the tough group. >> some of them were in technical college. >> jimmy: did you fight the sullivan boys? >> no -- i had one -- i had one experience with one that was a couple years older than me, who beat me up. i -- my father had come back from a business trip, from holland. and he had brought me some wooden shoes. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> like he had gotten at the airport or something. and for some reason -- i was like 9 or 10 or something. i thought, wow. these are the coolest shoes you could possibly -- they're made of wood. so, i will wear these shoes.
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[ laughter ] and the next day -- >> jimmy: did anyone tell you, maybe not a good idea? >> yes. but the next day, i went downstairs to go to school. we're going to the bus. and my brother kind of looked at me like, that's a bad idea. you should rethink your shoe choice. and i thought, he was crazy. i'm -- no. i thought for some reason, everyone at school would just adore the shoes. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, i clomped to the bus. and once i was on the bus, i realized, maybe this wasn't a good idea. and once i got to school, it really was a bad idea because i bumped into this kid, david sullivan. >> jimmy: the sullivan boys. >> an older kid. and he saw me. and he saw the wooden shoes. and he was, like, i will have to punch you now. [ laughter ] this is -- it was almost like he felt bad. like, i have to hand out a beatdown for everyone else. >> jimmy: the rules are the rules. >> the rules are the rules. i looked at my brother. he's like, you're on your own.
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i warned you. and he beat me up. he started beating me up. and brought me to the pavement. and in that situation, i realized, i actually only had one means of defending myself, which was the actual wooden shoes themselves. so, i took the shoe off. and i remember just -- as hard as i could, just clobbering him in the head. and his head split. and he sort of reared back. and he started to cry. >> jimmy: oh. [ cheers and applause ] wow. kind of like -- >> kind of like my hansel and goliath moment. >> jimmy: yeah. it's like a fable. >> it's a fable. i know. >> jimmy: now, you're in this movie, "wanderlust." >> yes. >> jimmy: this is a comedy. and you've been in a number of movies. a couple of my particular favorites. and you wrote the movie "tropic thunder." you wrote "ironman."
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great movie. and so, now -- i would imagine -- are you going to the oscars? are you part of the oscar ceremony? are you doing anything to promote it this weekend? >> i'm going to the show. >> jimmy: you are going to the oscar show. >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you doing anything on the show? >> no. i have a movie in the show. i have a nominated film. >> jimmy: you wrote a film? >> i was acting in. i was acting. >> jimmy: which one? i'm sorry -- >> i was in "war horse." >> jimmy: oh, you're in "war horse." you were in "war horse"? >> yes. have kind of a big part, too. >> jimmy: we actually -- i guess we have a clip of -- i apologize. i didn't -- here's justin in "war horse." >> england is at war. we are at war.
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>> it's my horse, sir. >> i promise you, i'll look after him. and if i can, i'll return him to your care. >> he's something else, that one. ♪ >> charge. ah! ah! ow. [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. congratulations. i didn't realize. i didn't see the film. that's great. i mean, to have a movie that's nominated. >> i know. we're all excited. me and steven.
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>> jimmy: well, yeah. working with steven had to be a great thing. i mean, most people, in their lives, i mean, you're in one movie. >> two movies. >> jimmy: two what movies? >> two movies in the oscars. >> jimmy: what's the other movie? >> did you see "the descendants"? >> it's a smaller part. but it's the beach scene. >> jimmy: the beach scene. do we have that? oh, we do. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. that's -- "war horse," in theaters now. and "wanderlust," opens tomorrow. when we come back, music from die antwoord. [ cheers and applause ] the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series, sponsored by bud
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light. ♪ beth! hi! looking good. you've lost some weight. thanks. you noticed. these clothes are too big, so i'm donating them. how'd you do it? eating right -- whole grain. [ female announcer ] people who choose more whole grain tend to weigh less than those who don't. multi-grain cheerios -- 5 whole grains, 110 calories. [ female announcer ] peanut butter taste, drey in a tempting new cereal. mmm! [ female announcer ] new multi-grain cheerios
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peanut butter.
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the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series, sponsored by bud light. >> jimmy: this is their new cd "tension." here with the song, "i fink you freeky," die antwoord. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ sexy boys fancy boys ♪
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♪ playboys bad boys ♪ ♪ i fink you freaky and i like you a lot ♪ ♪ i fink you freaky and i like you a lot ♪ ♪ yo, my zeflings get buzzed off da spice dat i bring ♪ ♪ guess who's got da party jumping ♪ ♪ glow-in-da-dark rave aura pumping ♪ ♪ it's nice it's different ♪ ♪ woo the system ♪ ♪ yo, my system pumps off its face ♪ ♪ step into my world now's jy tuis in paradys ♪ ♪ yo, word up to my brudda muis ♪ ♪ pomp up jou speakers pump up your speakers ♪ ♪ kyk wies rapping lekker to da drum ♪ ♪ dese bad boys like to smack me on da bum ♪ ♪ my krews blowing up like chappies bubblegum ♪ ♪ popping in your face nah ♪ ♪ i don't run wif da rat race my style is rap-rave ♪ ♪ my krew is mad zef so, who da heck cares? ♪ ♪ what you guys all fink i'm da type of chick ♪ ♪ who rolls wif spif giftige misfits ♪ ♪ i fink you freaky and i like you a lot ♪ ♪ i fink you freaky and i like you a lot ♪ ♪ i fink you freaky and i like you a lot ♪ ♪ i fink you freaky
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and i like you a lot ♪ ♪ hold up woah, woah, woah ♪ ♪ wait a minute how you feeling guys ♪ ♪ yo, my man d.j. hi-tek woo ♪ ♪ dis flippin' beat is nice ♪ ♪ back in da day dem dwankies ♪ ♪ didn't wanna believe in us ♪ ♪ little did dey know dat dey was ♪ ♪ in for a big big, big surprise ♪ ♪ left home locked in my zef zone ♪ ♪ ready for da test yo ♪ ♪ what da heck? i guess so ♪ ♪ hit da overseas everybody's heads get blown ♪ ♪ get everyfing for free like dr. dre beats headphones ♪ ♪ when i get home i lounge on my zef throne ♪ ♪ make my mummy happy 'cause i get so paid ♪ ♪ making my money rapping over techno rave ♪ ♪ i can take you round da world let's go, babe ♪ ♪ when i step up and do my thing ♪ ♪ i put you in a trance ♪ ♪ my zefside click got it going on ♪ ♪ i don't care what you think i do what i want ♪ ♪ i can make a million little jimmy kimmel jump ♪ ♪ jump, jimmy kimmel jump, jimmy kimmel, jump ♪ ♪ jump, jimmy kimmel jump, jimmy kimmel, jump ♪ ♪ jump, jimmy kimmel jump, jimmy kimmel, jump ♪ ♪ increase da peace don't wreck da party ♪ ♪ and mess da jol up for everybody ♪
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♪ ek's a laancy jy's a gam ♪ ♪ want jy laminamang met jou slanginamun ♪ ♪ i fink you freaky and i like you a lot ♪ ♪ i fink you freaky and i like you a lot ♪ ♪ i fink you freaky and i like you a lot ♪ ♪ i fink you freaky and i like you a lot ♪ ♪ ♪ i fink you freaky and i like you a lot ♪ ♪ i fink you freaky and i like you a lot ♪ ♪ i fink you freaky and i like you a lot ♪ ♪ i fink you freaky


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