Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 11, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EDT

12:00 am
in england. >> jimmy: yeah. the costumes were made in china. >> dicky: tonight on an all new and guillermo is made in mexico. "jimmy kimmel live." >> the great actor and academy [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here. always a pleasure to have you award nominee gary oldman with a here. gary oldman. passch from r. kelly's new book. >> i don't see it that way. i see it all coming together. do you feel me? we'll be right back with rob riggle. [ laughter ] ♪ >> rob riggle -- [ male announcer ] oh, to suffer with dandruff that keeps coming back. >> i jump off my tractor and there's a 5,000-pound bull just -- you women hate it. but now, sad man, you're saved by a new anti-dandruff shampoo. clear men with mint, ginseng and tea tree. clear men feeds your scalp and stops dandruff at the source. ahh, look at him now. admire the scalp. he's heroic. clear men. feed scalp. stop dandruff at the source.
12:01 am
[ john ] no. ♪ were you just... no. are you supposed to be driving that in here? no! yo! teresa here? ♪ no. so is it okay if i stay out just a little bit longer?
12:02 am
so...okay... so no. did mom say we could eat all that? [ john ] yes. [ male announcer ] in a world filled with "no," it's nice to finally say "yes." the new line of oscar mayer selects. the tastes you love and no artificial preservatives. it's yes food. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about the bud light port paradise music fest. you've got to be kidding me. four days, three nights, and a two-day music festival on two sweetie, help us settle this. islands in the bahamas. one legendary party. sounds pretty good, doesn't it, i say this and this guillermo? >> si, jimmy. is called southern hospitality. it sounds awesome! well, i call it the clean getaway. but as a responsible parent, i don't know if i should go. [ scoffs ] you're both wrong. ♪ >> vamanos, amigo! it's the freshy fresh. you work very very hard. everyone knows that. you deserve a vacation! >> i know, i do you handsome i didn't know that. devil. oh yeah, that's what they're saying now. >> guillermo! you have to keep jimmy kimmel [ female announcer ] nothing leaves you feeling cleaner and fresher safe. you can't go running off to take than the cottonelle care routine. a cruise. >> yes, lady. try them together. then name it on facebook. you are probably right. [ laughter ] in applebee's new florentine house sirloin... >> don't listen to the stupid angel. you need to get out on the high [ male announcer ] aaand we're good. seas with beautiful women. >> and the two-day music festival! no, i was going to... >> and don't forget the bud [ male announcer ] all you need to know light. is the florentine house sirloin is awesome. >> bud light? it's one of the new fresh flavors of summer, >> yes, bud light. starting at just $9.99 at applebee's. >> can you guys take me with see you tomorrow. you? >> no, angel. starting at just $9.99 at applebee's.
12:03 am
you are no fun. [ laughter ] ...we had to go further, and rereinvent the suv.scape... come on, devil. let's go to port paradise. >> dicky: the bud light port with an innovative foot-activated rear lift gate... paradise cruise sets sail again this year. technology that can recognize your voice, find out how to get on board at and the best highway fuel efficiency in its class, up to 33 mpg. bud light, here we go! because we wanted to reinvent the suv, we had to invent... this. >> jimmy: i almost understood some of that. the all-new escape, from ford. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with gary oldman, rob riggle and music from the dirty heads. ♪ [ hero ] then we hit the ship's deck... ♪ [ hero ]the next day there was this private island concert... ♪ so what'd you guys do? [ male announcer ] four days. three nights. a two-day music festival. and one legendary party. bud light port paradise. here we go. i'm looking for the one.
12:04 am
kids, house, the whole domestic thing, you know? then why does your relationship status say, "never getting married"? hmm... that was the old me. it says you updated it 15 minutes ago. yes...yup... yeah that was before i met you. favorite pickup line: "nothing mattered before i met you." ha...oh...that's... why did i put that... [ male announcer ] only at&t's 4g network lets your iphone download three times faster. at&t. lets your iphone download three times faster. ...we had to go further, and rereinvent the suv.scape... not only kills fleas and ticks it repels most ticks before they can attach with an innovative foot-activated rear lift gate... and snack on us. frontline plus kills but doesn't repel technology that can recognize your voice, and a tick that isn't repelled or killed may attach and make a meal of us. and the best highway fuel efficiency in its class, up to 33 mpg. [ male announcer ] ask your veterinarian about k9 advantix ii. because we wanted to reinvent the suv, we had to invent... this. the all-new escape, from ford. my nkiva is the world's first micro-lending platform,
12:05 am
where anybody can lend $25 or more to entrepreneurs around the world. this is the laptop we got jessica when she first went away to college. [ cheers and applause ] that was the beginning of the journey for me. ♪ it's incredible to have someone tell you that your child has had such a major effect on their lives. it's hard to believe that it started with just a dream and a laptop. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel when the technology is right, anything can happen. live" concert series sponsored vo: save $100 on a new toshiba p series laptop, by bud light. backed by our perfect match promise. to stream on performances and other music videos go to >> dicky: from hollywood, it's >> can't get enough kimmel? "jimmy kimmel live"! find highlights and more at [ cheers and applause ] tonight -- gary oldman. rob riggle. and music from the dirty heads. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:06 am
>> jimmy: hi, everybody. that's great. thanks very much. thanks. how you doing? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for being here tonight. all right. for my first trick, i will be walking the dog. does anyone have a yo-yo? [ laughter ] there's a lot of commotion ♪ outside our theater here in hollywood today. maybe some of you got to see it, [ dog barking ] ♪ our old pal slash, the great guitar from guns and roses, i [ female announcer ] life is full of little tests, think he was in the wiggles for but your basic paper towel can handle them. a little while. especially if that towel is bounty basic. slash, got a star in front of the towel that's durable and scrubbable. the hollywood walk of fame, in this lab demo, charlie sheen came and spoke. bounty basic is stronger than the leading bargain brand. they have someone come and speak everyday life. on your behalf. bring it with bounty basic. affordably priced. tested by everyday life. charlie took a stab at slash's and try bounty napkins. axel rose.
12:07 am
he said slash got a star on the one street that axel rose will be one day sleeping in. for some reason, charlie sheen managed to find the one guy in hollywood more screwed up than he is. [ laughter ] unfortunately for slash, his hair prevents him from seeing it. that's what it is looks like to him. congratulations to the whole slash family. meanwhile, to not so happy news to the world of music. according to the posting on their website, chumbawamba broke [ male announcer ] if you want play in the same sandbox as luxury s.u.v.s, it helps to have an interior full of hand-selected wood trim and soft premium leather... up. [ audience ahhs. and it doesn't hurt to have a selec-terrain dial that truly performs. ] ♪ they got down and they're not getting up. what do you think it was that they set out to do? [ laughter ] their name was chumbawamba.
12:08 am
whatever it was, i think they did it. i'm pretty sure. still, there's much sadness. so tonight, we sent our cameras out on the streets to give fans a chance to wish one of the brands of the '70s a chance to wish them farewell. >> chambawamba broke up today. how do you feel? >> i don't have any feelings. i don't know who they are. >> what? >> are you a fan? >> no. >> wild guess, what's chumbawamba? >> "star wars" character? >> she's got it at the house. >> you got it? >> yeah, i saved it. >> nice. >> we're going to hearing it as soon as we get home, too. ♪ >> i get -- what's the song? ♪
12:09 am
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: that's a weird time [ cheers and applause ] there. [ applause ] >> jimmy: to give you a little ♪ insight, i think that was a >> jimmy: hello there. chuck mangione song. we're back. you know our next not chumbawamba, one of our guest from "the daily show" "the hangover" and "21 jump street" among his many projects. tomorrow night, he'll be directors, his mother had sex showering our greatest athletes with chuck mangione, one of the our writers decided to sing the with awards and probably whole song. showering with them, too, as
12:10 am
do you know that, guillermo do host of the espys on espn. you have know who chuck mangione please say hello to rob riggle. is? >> i have no idea. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: has anyone read this book, called "fifty shades of grey." it's a very popular book. it's about a guy who ties a woman up and has sex with her. it's basically regis' life >> jimmy: now, rob, as i look at you, i think this is an story. it's caused more hysteria american. this is someone who should have between middle-aged women than been batman! >> that's right. [ cheers and applause ] an ann taylor sale. i like to carry a copy around >> that's right. and act like i'm reading it to >> jimmy: maybe for the next franchise, you know? >> it's a different look for a make sure nobody sits next to me batman, but i still think it on the bus. by the way, if you love "fifty works. >> jimmy: you're from kansas, shades of grey," you know what else you'd love? you're very proud to be from porn. [ laughter ] apparently, a british psychology kansas. three very sharp corners and one dented one. professor took time out of her >> that's right, that's how you not so busy schedule to come up recognize it. >> jimmy: we went to a usc game. with the lead character of the book might look like. >> last fall. they broke it down on the "today" show. k.u./usc game. >> jimmy: you love that kansas. >> a professor has has a what was it like being a young composite of the christian grey
12:11 am
from "fifty shades of grey." robby riggle growing up in the >> we start with the hair. state of kansas. did you live on a farm? kind of channing tatum and brad >> no, but my grandfather had a pitt. >> then the eyes came from farm. >> jimmy: he did? >> yeah, and i would go down and patrick dempsey and johnny depp. work -- i would spend my summers >> the face shape is that of on the farm. >> jimmy: that's a good thing? david beckham. >> the lips, i'm sure you >> yeah, it's great. you worked. recognize them, they're val you get strong. kilmer's lips. fresh air. it was good. >> based on that sketch, who should play this guy to the i used to haul hay bails. movie coming to a theater you have the little ones but probably next year? then the big ones like,00 >> jimmy: well, mr. potatohead. actually, we messed with it. this is the real image they came 1,000-pound ones. up with. but when you're 13, it's cool. it's a weird thing because we saw that this morning. i had all to do to push the this drawing, this is the clutch in. drawing they came up with. i remember hauling the hay looks almost exactly like the guy who would here, our bales -- i can tell this here? associate producer craig, put them upside by side if you would. >> jimmy: i don't know. where are is this headed? [ applause ] >> jimmy: isn't that weird? what did grandpa do to you? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: remarkable. [ cheers and applause ] >> you're about to find out. it gets a little weird, i'll be craig, if we could carve a chest in your chin -- can we carve a honest. i was hauling hay bales one day. chest into your chin? i was on the tractor and had the >> sure, why not?
12:12 am
big hay bales. >> jimmy: there is one problem and our neighbor's steer got with this, the lead character's into our pasture and was name is christian grey. starting to make love to our craig's last name is finkle. cows. i'm not sure "fifty shades of [ laughter ] okay? >> jimmy: okay. >> and my grandfather pulled up and was likes are stop that finkle" would have sold as well. bull, stop that bull. go upstairs and get my ties. apparently, this particular we'll give the ladies a treat steer had impregnated our cow here. you know what i'm saying. which is like a heifer or speaking of the ladies. something. it would have died in child this is from the maury povich birth. we had to stop it before the show. they gave an on-air paternity consummation of this. test. last night, a gentleman named >> jimmy: why? >> i don't know why. michael was expected to be the i was 13. father of his ex girlfriend's i'm like okay. i jump off the tractor and mimi's twin girls. there's a 5,000 bull just -- you >> i bumped into her in the club know, handling business. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what do you do? >> i was like "stop!" i was one night. she tried to tell me i'm the father of her twin kids. throwing rocks at him. i was like, what? i took like logs, sticks, you're crazy. i never see those girls. throwing everything i could at i did see pictures, maybe one of him. [ laughter ] the twins looked like me. >> it was -- then i saw something no human should ever but that's just what people say.
12:13 am
see. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: which one of the >> jimmy: what? oh, yeah. identical twins do you think it? looked like him? >> the bull dong. the one on the left or -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, wow. michael wasn't the father of wow. >> bulls don't like to be either twin. but fear not, maury will find the man, and he will not rest interrupted during lovemaking. until he does it. nobody does, especially bulls. donald trump is being honored next month. >> jimmy: you never know, you the sarasota republican party might be next. has announced plans to announce if you offer something up as a substitute. were you able to stop the donald trump statesman of the action? year. if there's one word to call >> i did. i stopped them and got back on my tractor quickly before i was donald trump, it it would be harmed. >> jimmy: you could have been a mad da tour. statesman-like. the chairman of the republican party in sarasota called donald matador. you are a pilot, you are a trump a wise, respectful leader. marine? how do you become a pilot? trump is scheduled to accept the >> same grandfather, same grad father just came to me one day award on august 26th with dinner and said, hey, do you want to at the ritz-carlton. learn how to fly? for $1,000 a head, guests can i said, sounds great. meet him personally. i was 18. for an extra $3,000 you can have while i was in college i got my sex with his hair. pilot's license. dictionary defines the word let's be honest, it was a great
12:14 am
statesman as a person who date package. i didn't have game in college. exhibits great direction or so being able to go up to a lady about the in dealing with important issues. that's him in a nutshell right and just go, would you like to take a flight around campus there. donald trump has had many tonight? [ laughter ] statesman-like moments over the >> jimmy: you would do that? >> absolutely. years. tonight, we're proud to present what would i do, your face looks you with a few of them. this is great moments in good? this is my usual line. i like your face. statesmanship with donald trump. can i buy you a beer? >> i know izzy very well. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you have a date, she was at one of my weddings, unfortunately, she wiped out a you'd bring it on -- did you whole cake. >> somebody said, oh, because i brought up the birth certificate, i'm a racist. have a plane? >> i'd rent a plane. i said how can be be a racist? >> jimmy: what were you a i just picked arsenio hall. millionaire? bruce wayne. >> it was 60 bucks an hour. >> is there a muslim problem, i it was around lawrence, i would said, absolutely yes. do a local flight around kansas. i want to step further, i said, >> jimmy: can you make out in a i didn't see swedish people plane? >> you could. i was still pretty scared. knocking down the world trade what i used to do, i'm such a center. >> jimmy: why isn't he our jerk. here's what i used to do. president? doesn't anyone care about me? i would everplay it. this is kind of interesting. i'd be like, november-7-foxtrot.
12:15 am
scientists discovered a molecule that they say could make our teeth cavity-proof. this is delta-2-5, i'm left of a they call it teeth 32 because we have 32 teeth ideally. wind, copy. copy. they say after 60 seconds can i didn't even push on the eliminate all the bacteria that microphone. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did it work? causes cavities. >> yeah. it seems like the first order then i would play with the instrument panel. would be to fill a missile with not doing anything. this stuff and shoot it at [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pulling out like the england, right? no offense. carb heater and stuff like that. the s say the molecule hold on a second, babe. can be added to toothpaste, to wait a minute, did you hear mouth wash even candy which is that? >> jimmy: now, you're hosting great. two years from now, we'll be the espy awards. i did this once. brushing our teeth with i think you'll have a lot of fun. i think -- athletes are a great audience. a lot of audiences are not great kit-kats. [ laughter ] this has to be bad news for audiences. but athletes love it. dentives. this could possibly be the end are you worried that any of them of the dentistry. will become angry at you if there are no more dentists, afterwards? because sometimes that does happen. who are our beauty contestants >> yeah, yeah. athletes are known for their going to marry? superior physical ability. chiropractors? i don't think so. is anyone going to comic-con >> jimmy: they're not used to next week? having fun -- >> they've not been on the other don't be too proud of yourself.
12:16 am
end of ribbing. comic-con is a big annual gathering of fans of comic books >> jimmy: they will grab eyou b and everything that prevented me the nipples on the air. from having a girlfriend in high are there any you're excited school. about meeting? eve though the convention starts on thursday, fans are camping >> i'm a sports junkie. outside of the convention center maria sharapova. to get a good spot. >> jimmy: that's a good choice. >> drew brees, i want to meet i want to imagine what someone who might sleep outside of him. eli manning. just a lot of people. comic-con would look like because you're about to see him. >> jimmy: it's great. you're going to do a great job. >> comic-con is just two days are you all set? still working on it? away, already people are lining >> no, not even close. up in san diego to get inside. >> we got here yesterday at 8:00 go out there and wing it pretty a.m., that's how long we've been much. as soon as i am done with this, i'm going back to work. cat >> jimmy: very good. camping. >> we're all here to see the we'll be watching the espy awards tomorrow night at 8:00 "twilight" saga. eastern. we'll be right back with the dirty heads. ♪ >> jimmy: well, i think that's the ugliest 16-year-old girl i've ever seen. [ applause ] the great and inexplicable r. kelly has been written a book,
12:17 am
written a memoir called solo coaster. if you're not familiar, he's the author of "freaky in the club." "sex weed." "feeling on your booty." no surprise he's written a beautiful book. to read some of it to you, the great actor and academy award winning nominee gary old mapp with a passage from soula coaster. [ applause ] >> you punk! i yelled at the top of my voice. he made a u-turn and jumped out of the car. what up, baby? [ laughter ] >> hey, just wanted to holler at
12:18 am
you, i said. just have to tell you that i love everything you do. hey man, said punk, coming from you, that's a heluva compliment. while the cat says that, i'll be living in different parts of the planet. but i don't see it that way, punk. i see us all coming together? do you feel me? [ laughter ] i've been feeling the same way. it's all the same, beats, words, stories. man, we need to do an album together. [ laughter ] >> i would love to. i'm talking about a whole album. a whole concept. a big-game hinging record. you got it, girls. tell me what studios and when and i'll be there. i'm gonna send you some tracks,
12:19 am
i said. i don't need no tracks. just need to know you want to work with me. that's enough. we'll just let it do what it do. [ laughter ] god is good. all the time, said park. [ cheers and applause ] we hugged and park went on his way. >> jimmy: this is their new album called "cabin by the sea." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: gary oldman. thank you, gary, you really -- here with the song "spread too thin," the dirty heads. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ applause ] ♪ i'm spread way too thin everybody wants to he brought pop to life each more know what's happenin' ♪ ♪ i'm spread way too thin what's the big rush now tell me why you're rushing ♪ than the hole although gram. ♪ i'm spread way too thin rob riggle is here with us. everybody wants to and we'll be with commissioner know what's happenin' ♪ ♪ i'm spread way too thin gordon himself, gary oldman so
12:20 am
stick around! [ cheers and applause ] what's the big rush now tell me why you're rushing ♪ ♪ why you rushing why you rushing ♪ ♪ everybody's calling but i just need some time why should our wallets tell us what our favorite color is? i just need some every room deserves to look great. room to breathe again ♪ ♪ somewhere to clear my mind and every footstep should tell us we made the right decision. so when we can feel our way through the newest, you don't need to be here softest, and most colorful options... all up in my face ♪ ...across every possible price range... ♪ we need to find the right solution ...our budgets won't be picking the style. to put you in your place ♪ ♪ i said hey we will. i got a lot to say to you more saving. more doing. that's the power of the home depot. i hear what your saying's not true ♪ make room for savings with $37 basic installation on martha stewart living and platinum plus carpet. ♪ so this is what i'm gonna do look at me i'm gonna let you know ♪ ♪ i'm spread way too thin everybody wants to know what's happenin' ♪ ♪ i'm spread way too thin what's the big rush now tell me why you're rushing ♪ ♪ why you rushing
12:21 am
why you rushing ♪ ♪ this has got me twisted in the worst kind of way you put me down when i'm not around and then ya ♪ ♪ and then you smile at my face you don't need a home use the points we earn with our citi thankyou card no, what you need is a cage ♪ for a relaxing vacation. ♪ ♪ i bottled up all sometimes, we go for a ride in the park. of these emotions made a monster of the rage ♪ ♪ i said hey maybe do a little sightseeing. i gotta lot to say to you or, get some fresh air. seems you got something to prove ♪ but this summer, we used our thank youpoints ♪ so this is to just hang out with a few friends in london. what i'm gonna do look at me i'm gonna tell you so ♪ [ male announcer ] the citi thankyou visa card. ♪ i'm spread way too thin redeem the points you've earned to travel with no restrictions. everybody wants to rewarding you, every step of the way. know what's happenin' ♪ ♪ i'm spread way too thin of applebee's new lemon shrimp fettuccine what's the big rush now tell me why you're rushing ♪ is here just in time for summer. lemons contain about 8% citric acid by weight, ♪ why you rushing why you rushing ♪ which refreshes the palate, but also neutralizes ♪ let me breath the potent amine compound -- [ male announcer ] hi, alan. hey. let me chill for awhile they just want to know if it tastes good -- let me breath if it's a good value and that it tastes good. you know it's not my style ♪
12:22 am
it's not a science show. ♪ let me breath let me chill for awhile [ laughs ] i... let me breath [ male announcer ] the new lemon shrimp fettuccine you know it's not my style ♪ is 100% delicious and pairs beautifully with your mouth. ♪ i said hey it's one of the new fresh flavors of summer i got a lot to say to you starting at just $9.99 at applebee's. i hear what you're see you tomorrow. starting at just $9.99 at applebee's. saying's not true♪ ♪ so this is i wish i could keep it this way. what i'm gonna do look at me i'm gonna let you know ♪ [ male announcer ] even after a dental cleaning... plaque quickly starts to grow back. ♪ i'm spread way too thin but new crest pro-health clinical plaque control toothpaste can help. everybody wants to know what's happenin' ♪ it not only reduces plaque... ♪ i'm spread way too thin it's also clinically proven... to help keep plaque from coming back. what's the big rush now tell me why you're rushing ♪ plus, it works in these other areas dentists check most. ♪ why you rushing ♪ new crest pro-health clinical plaque control toothpaste. why you rushing ♪ life opens up when you do. [ cheers and applause ] for extra plaque protection try new crest pro-health clinical rinse. >> jimmy: i want to thank gary oldman, rob riggle. watch the espys tomorrow on espn. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow, wanda sykes, joel kinnaman and music from serj tankian. "cabin by the sea" is out now. playing us off the air with "hipster" see the full performance at once again, the dirty heads!
12:23 am
good night!
12:24 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the program, a very funny guy. he's hosting the espys tomorrow night on espn, rob riggle is here with us tonight. and then, all the way from orange county, california with music from their new album called "cabin by the sea," the dirty heads from the bud light outdoor stage. [ applause ] tonight we're gonna clean their heads. tomorrow night we'll be joined by wanda sykes, joel kinnaman will be here, and we'll have music from serj tankian. so please join us then. it is a testament to our our first guest's versatility that he has played dracula, pontius pilate, sid vicious, and
12:25 am
tupac with r. kelly, the bird in "kung fu panda 2." you can see him next as commissioner gordon in "the dark knight rises" which opens in theaters july 20th, please say hello to gary oldman. [ cheers and applause ] all of a sudden, i feel underdressed. you look fantastic. >> jimmy: thank you for doing that. it makes me think that maybe the writing doesn't even matter because it was almost like shakespeare you out on that. >> no, it doesn't. i'll read anything you give he. >> jimmy: thank you. well, that could be trouble, i will say that. thanks to you, i got a private screening of "the dark knight rises" last night. it was pretty much the highlight of my year, i have to admit.
12:26 am
i was so excited, it came out great. they told me, though, i can't talk about it -- i assume i can talk about it on the show. but i can't tweet about it. i'm not allowed to dream about it. [ laughter ] >> no. >> jimmy: do they do that with you? do they make you sign anything or -- >> well, it's obviously, there's a level of paranoia around it because we live in an age with the enter get and blogs and all that kind of thing. >> jimmy: right. >> i mean, it's understandable. but it was delivered to my house. but they called ahead of time -- because they wanted to know i was going to be there. i was sort of served with it. >> jimmy: with the script? >> yeah, you have to -- >> jimmy: really. >> and then after that, i would read it and i sort of would lock it away. other people didn't even -- they had to go to the office to read it. he gave out scripts without an ending because he didn't want the ending of the movie to get out. and there was a moment in -- there was a moment in
12:27 am
pittsburgh, where we filmed part of it in pittsburgh, part of it in los angeles, part of it in new york. and i would hide it in the room in the hotel when i went out. >> jimmy: to keep from people and maids for future movies? [ laughter ] >> yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so they could have to come up with another plan. >> anyway, i put -- probably thinking about somebody else, put it away and came back. and forgot where i put it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: great. >> and i just -- i'd been in the lobby having a coffee. and i thought, oh, my god, i haven't left it on the table down there in the -- it was a white-hot panic. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i would imagine. >> for about 20 minutes. i felt my career ended in pittsburgh. [ laughter ]
12:28 am
>> jimmy: that you would have been thrown out of show business? >> that would be my book "it ended in pittsburgh." >> jimmy: isn't there any way to blame it on michael caine or something like that? >> no, because he's name is on the bleeping script. >> jimmy: oh, i see it. >> it's serial numbers and your name is water-marked each copy. so the number is my number, and i have "gary oldman" watermarked across the script. actually, the scripts are red, the pages are red so you can't photocopy it. >> jimmy: you know what would be great, let's ruin it, let's give the whole thing away right now, for everyone. [ cheers and applause ] >> anyway, i put it between the mattress. i put it under the -- i shoved it in the middle of the bed in between the mattress. >> jimmy: you're going to have to come up with a whole new plan for the next movie.
12:29 am
because everybody knows now. i would not want that responsibility. i'd make them have a guard around me to just take it when i wasn't reading or something. it seems like it would be worthwhile to do something like that. >> yeah, you have to guard the thing at all times. it's weird, though, they do the same thing with "harry potter." everyone's read the book. >> jimmy: right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that doesn't make any sense. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that does not make sense. how old are your kids? >> my son is 20 -- nearly 24. >> jimmy: okay. >> and the youngest two, 13 and nearly 15. >> jimmy: so they've got to be excited about the fact that their dad is in the batman movies, right? >> they are excited. "call of duty" still gets the edge. >> jimmy: it does? [ laughter ] >> yes. but they're very excited about batman. they won't be here for the opening. they're at camp. >> jimmy: oh, they are? wow.
12:30 am
they don't get to hang out with batman. they're at summer camp? >> yeah. and for any parent -- they shoot bb guns and bows and arrows and they water ski. and you have to sign waivers for this stuff, i mean. [ laughter ] >> you know -- bye! come back! with both eyes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hide them under the mattress. my dad was never in batman, not even the old tv show. [ laughter ] >> what did he do for a living? >> jimmy: my dad. well, he still works. he woulds for ibm actually. very boring. very boring. >> would he talk about what he did? >> jimmy: he did, but we don't want him to. we wanted him to stop. please stop talking about whatever it is you do. [ laughter ] >> but you have these conversations at my house, which -- how was batman, dad?
12:31 am
did you see batman today? no, son, i was with catwoman. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: catwoman, that worked out pretty well, i'd say. i'm worried about giving too much away. >> well, not to give anything away, anne hathaway is -- as you know, she's in this. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good catwoman. >> yeah. but she is a revelation in this film. well, you've seen it. >> jimmy: yes. >> and boy -- she can time a line, huh? >> jimmy: i was a little suspect. i thought anne hathaway seems too sweet to be catwoman, but she did do a great job. >> and she's terrific with the -- well, i can't say. >> jimmy: we can't really say anything. now, i wanted to show some photographs that we came across. this is -- it appears to be a modeling runway. and that appears to be you. [ cheers and applause ] in one of your old dracula
12:32 am
costumes, i think. >> that's prada. >> jimmy: prada. >> milan. >> jimmy: milan. how did this happen? there you are? >> i got -- i got a phone call that came in, and they said, mrs. brprada would like you to model in milan. >> jimmy: there's a mrs. prada? >> i call her mrs. prada. lucia prada. >> jimmy: i got a call from mrs. -- [ laughter ] >> mrs. prada would like you to model in milan. >> jimmy: and you said yeah? >> yeah, i said, let me think about it. you know, i went, yeah, why not. >> jimmy: wow. and was it fun? >> it was -- that's a picture. >> jimmy: adrien brody also
12:33 am
there. >> with clothes on. >> jimmy: yeah, he looks like -- i think my aunts had that coat. [ laughter ] he's wearing mrs. prada's actual coat. [ laughter ] he did not get lucky in that particular draw. [ applause ] now, what is the key to modeling on a runway? is there any preparation you can do for that? >> well, what i -- i mean, i just came out with my own message which is you clinch your buttocks. [ laughter ] and you walk with a fixated purpose. >> jimmy: really? for you. >> jimmy: i'd love to see it. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nicely done. gary oldman, everybody. we'll be right back. ♪
12:34 am
>> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by bud light. ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] what's the point of an epa estimated 42 miles per gallon combined if the miles aren't interesting? the lexus ct hybrid. this is the pursuit of perfection. is really my mother. they keep asking me if the dirty guy is really my son. huh -- what do you tell 'um? holy smokes, these viva towels really are tough, even when wet! [ mike ] for the record, that's my real father, cleaning up a real mess on a real grill. see? very impressive! you're a natural. oh that's much better... dad's got his tough mess, i've got mine. [ female announcer ] grab a roll and try it on your toughest mess. i think you got it.
12:35 am
ian italian dinner for 2r $25. where choice is on the menu. [ female announcer ] grab a roll and try it on your toughest mess. start with all the fresh salad and warm breadsticks you want. choose 2 appetizers made for sharing. then 2 entrées from 6 of our favorites. classics like eggplant parmigiana and new favorites like smoked mozzarella chicken and spaghetti with four cheese meat sauce & meatballs. 3 courses, 2 people, just $25. but only for a limited time, at olive garden. want my recipe for healthier hair color? natural instincts! formulated with aloe, vitamin and antioxidants natural instincts has a system that's a healthier way to radiant color. indulge... with natural instincts. less guilt, more gorgeous. chewy inside... crunch n' chew. indulge... with natural instincts. with a crunchy candy shell. untamed fruit flavor. jolly rancher crunch n' chew.
12:36 am
but lately she's been coming in with less gray than usual. what's she up to? [ female announcer ] root touch-up by nice'n easy has the most shade choices, designed to match even salon color in just 10 minutes. with root touch-up, all they see is you. [ whirring ] cheese me. [ beeps ] [ beeps ] ohh! ohh! [ whistles ] i can live with it. yeah, i can, too. [ male announcer ] take a cheetos break with cheetos. i can live with it. yeah, i can, too. chase freedom is offering 5% cash back at gas stations this quarter. wow, thanks! beep. beep. activate your 5% cash back at
12:37 am
12:38 am
there it is ! there it is ! where ? where ? it's getting away ! where is it ? it's gone. we'll find it. any day can be an adventure. that's why we got a subaru. love wherever the road takes you. wow, there it is. what's your name, son? >> plablake, sir. >> is there something you want to ask me officer blake. >> it's about that night, this night eight years ago. the last confirmed siting of batman. the murders of those people, two s.w.a.t. teams and then. >> i'm not hearing the
12:39 am
questions. >> don't you want to know who he was? ♪ >> i know exactly who it was, it was the batman. >> jimmy: that's right. it was the batman. gary oldman is here. [ cheers and applause ] what can you tell us about the movie? because i certainly don't know what it is. can you tell us anything about the plot? [ laughter ] >> well -- let me say, it's eight years on from the last one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. >> and we've cleaned up. we've -- you know, he's been busy -- gordon has been busy policing but it is ranked with cynicism and corruption, and it needs -- i guess it kind of needs a little shaking up.
12:40 am
and there is a gentleman who arrives by the name of bane, who really does shake things up. and, of course, batman has really become a recluse. he's all be retired from it. and he's -- you know, it's drawn back in. >> jimmy: will this be the last -- will this be the last batman movie? >> i think -- yes. yes. >> jimmy: you think it will? >> i mean, it might lay there in the drawer for a while and then perhaps the studio -- i think it must be very hard for the studio because it's such a phenomenal success. >> jimmy: they'd probably like to make a hundred of them. >> yes. [ laughter ] but i hear i think it is the last one with chris nolan. and if he comes back and makes a fourth in 3-d, i'm going to look very stupid. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's all right. i notice that you obviously,
12:41 am
christian bale, tom hardy is bane, christopher nolan is director. all brits. >> yes. >> jimmy: batman is not a brit. batman san american. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and right on the heels of the fourth of july, too. what makes it particularly offensive. [ laughter ] >> yeah, well, we're just coming back. we're coming back. [ laughter ] >> well, the british are coming -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's not baatmon, it's batman. >> did you mention michael caine? >> jimmy: michael caine, of course. he's another one. >> they have tax incentives so they don't make movies where they should. so they make "captain america"
12:42 am
12:43 am
12:44 am
12:45 am
12:46 am
12:47 am
12:48 am
12:49 am
12:50 am
12:51 am
12:52 am
12:53 am
12:54 am
12:55 am
12:56 am
12:57 am
12:58 am
12:59 am
1:00 am
1:01 am
1:02 am
1:03 am
1:04 am


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on