tv CBS Overnight News CBS December 2, 2016 2:07am-4:00am EST
now, here's the unusual news item of the day. it was in the paper today-- on the news. there's a madam in nevada-- or in certain-- did you know in certain counties of nevada, prostitution is legal? yeah. and her name was patty parrott. she is the madam of a brothel and today she announced that because of inflation, her girls' fees are going to rise to keep in step with the prime interest rate. [ laughter ] how do you like that? i think that's very fair, considering the fact her girls provide the same service to the public that the banks do. [ laughter ] [ applause ] anyway, we have-- good show. we have-- mr. jimmy stewart is with us tonight. [ applause ] now you can't beat that. and hodding carter iii.
[ music ] okay, we are back. thank you, doctor. we have jimmy stewart with us tonight. hodding carter iii. i'm looking forward to meeting hodding carter iii. i admired him tremendously during his really difficult days right after the immediate seizure of the hostages. where he had to go out everyday for the state department and the government and explain to all those reporters what was going on. you got to be fairly cool because they try to-- >> oh, yeah. >> throw you some curves, knowing the press. starting shopping yet? >> not yet. >> you really-- >> i always like to wait until the last minute, yes. >> wait until the last minute. i don't believe that you wait until the day before. you say you do, but how can you wait until the day before? >> a man can do
you go to a store, you say-- >> wow. >> i want the following trinket. you ought to write that down. >> i want to put that on stone tablets-- "a man can do what he wants to do." >> i go to certain stores-- there's certain shops you go to where they not only allow you to shop-- >> yes. >> but they also entertain you. >> what do you mean? >> young ladies will come over and they bring you sustenance. >> do they have those kind of stuff? >> yes. >> i remember doing that one year in new york. were we together then? >> we were together. we went in together. >> we went to one of those-- don't even-- you don't have to mention it. >> it's on 5th avenue. a lot of men don't shop. and psychologically, it's very good. they get you bombed. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> they just come over and say, "won't you have a glass of wine?" and you say, "yes, i'll have one." >> yes. >> and about two hours later-- >> we were buying-- >> "i would like the case!" [ laughter ] is that-- >> "i want one of those in every color!" >> yeah. >> but remember they bring the girls come in, wearing lovely negligees and lovely nightwear. it's a lovely way to shop. you don't do that anymore? >> no, no. not anymore. >> boy, have you changed.
now, this is something we have been doing for many years on this show. >> and this is great. >> yeah, we've had great success with this. it's a chance for the people at home to really participate in what christmas is all about. which really is for the children. the post office in new york, as you know-- not only the new york post office, but probably all post offices-- they get letters addressed to santa claus that are addressed to the north pole. and i want the young children to know that the post office passes those along. >> right to santa. >> that's right. and they intercepted a batch and they passed them on to us. and they make the letters available to people who would like to help some child at christmas. because a lot of these letters are very funny. some-- this happens every christmas-- are a little bit sad. and so, if you really want to participate in this way, you can do it is-- let me give you the card now and then i'll give it you later. it's called the santa claus fund and the general post office is room 3021 new york, new york. it's on the screen now-- 10001. or you can simply
the same address and zip code. they will send you a letter. because they have the child's name and address and you can send them a gift or something. it really makes christmas-- but i want to read you some of these letters. and then we'll give them back to the post office and people will come in-- but some of them are hysterical. these are all actual letters, as you can see. look at some of the stuff they write on here. this is-- i'm not going to give you any last names. here's one from andrew. "dear santa, so what's the story?" [ laughter ] >> right to the point. >> "so what's the story? i gave my father a letter to mail you and i hadn't heard from you. this time you better answer or i'll do terrible things to you. understand? [ laughter ] now, i want lots of toys this christmas and no junk-- good stuff. [ laughter ] also, give lots of things to my good buddy, john." and signed, andrew. but i loved that. "so what's the story?" >> "what's the story?"
[ laughter ] >> "understand?" >> here's one from antonella-- little neck, new york. "dear santa." this is a 6th grade student writing to you. "dear santa, i think you're the best. everyone at school makes fun of me because i believe in you. my brother makes fun of me, too. my mother thinks i should still believe you so i think i'll stick with my mother. [ laughter ] for christmas, i would like a car. [ laughter ]i [ laughter ] i want it red outside and black inside. i want it to be a front and back seat. i would like a steering wheel to lock and key in windows. on the outside, i would like an eagle of gold. in the front, i would like a motor." [ laughter ] that's a corvette. i assume he's talking about-- >> yeah, a real car. >> a real car. second grade. well, maybe a k-car. [ laughter ] new corvette-- i'm not sure.
"we want you to come early this year because we're going to florida for christmas. [ laughter ] we were wondering if you could stop here on december 12th or the 13th." [ laughter ] [ applause ] and then she goes down the list. santa doesn't work, andrea, i don't think on the 12th or the 13th. i think they have a guest santa-- >> yes. >> that comes on. [ laughter ] don't you love kids? you could not make these letters up. "dear santa and mrs. santa, we would like you to know how are your reindeer and also the penguins? [ laughter ] i hope you haven't been cooking too much, mrs. claus. and i'd like to think that you're taking good care of the reindeer." jensen wrote this. should we tell him? >> go ahead. >> i don't know what i should tell him. >> all right, go ahead. >> i understand mrs. claus got a little blitzed the other night and cooked the reindeer. [ laughter ]
>> we thought she did. >> no. now, here's a kid that does not fool around-- ryan from new york. he didn't take time to write a letter. all he did-- he just clipped out the ads. [ laughter ] they're stapled together here-- there must be 50 different toys and he just took them and dropped them in an envelope that says "santa claus." no let- [ laughter ] >> work it out! >> what? >> work it out! >> work it out! why should i write? "dear santa, how are you feeling? and how's mrs. santa. i love you. i've been a very good girl. i'm doing good in school. i hope you would be good to me this year. i would like one i took licken from the chicken, beware of the spider game, quick jump skunk, operation game, clyde's car crusher, chip's helmet set, holly hobbie bake over, sew perfect sewing machine, baby grows up beauty salon,
dustpan and apron-- talking telephone, dishes, pot and pan, viewmaster, stuffed animals, snoopy ice maker, perfume maker, adorable dolls, stop sign mickey mouse watch--" [ laughter ] she says, "say hello to your reindeer and have a nice flight." [ laughter ] "have a nice flight?" he's not even going to get off the ground! with all the stuff you asked for. stephanie. "dear santa, i wasn't too good this year, but i'll try harder next year. but i only really want one thi that thing i'm talking about is a telescope. can i have one, please, please, pretty please with sugar on top?" telescope with sugar on top? [ laughter ] that's what gabriel wants. "dear santa, i would like army shirt, pants, canteen, helmet, pistol holster and a .44 luger. [ laughter ] like the one on tv." brian, i think
[ laughter ] >> sounds steamed. >> call out an airstrike on you. "dear santa claus, i've been a good girl. please bring me some sexy panties and a slip." [ laughter ] obviously, the good girl stuff is over. [ laughter ] and a nightgown, good for you, brooke. [ applause ] you've been a good girl, it's time to loosen up. "dear santa, thank you for all of things ga that i never thanked you for. if you could please include a little present for scruffy, my new hamster, in his stocking." nice. don't see many hamsters wearing stockings. [ laughter ] "dear santa. all the things i did, i'm very sorry for. on the other hand--" [ laughter ] >> he's going to be a lawyer!" >> yeah. "on the other hand, how are you feeling, mrs. claus? is mrs. claus getting the christmas suit ready?" the questions they come up with.
i'm not going to show you the last name. but it is personalized stationery. "dear santa, i really believe in you. and i have a huge christmas list. this year i have a cat, but don't be surprised if you don't see her because she's very scared of people that's she's never seen before. my address is so forth." and so forth and so on. but can you imagine a child writing in-- >> with her own personalized stationery. >> personalized stationery. "dear santa, this yeam the fake santa's lap." [ laughter ] this is from jenna-- from jenna. "you know the one who get your pictures with? his knees are too bony. plus, he is not the real one. my list for christmas is on the back. i want to chit chat on this page. [ laughter ] so how is the reindeer? i hope you don't catch a cold. you know, with the snow and all. i have a baby girl cousin who's having her first christmas." she's very cute
"i-- by the way, last year, my dad had beer in the freezer. did you drink it? [ laughter ] well, i know you won't this year because i'm making cookies and chocolate and strawberry milk." poor dad. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> he's got to drink a lot of strawberry milk to get a buzz on. [ laughter ] "dear santa, please get the toys on this list." [ laughter ] there was one in here i'm going to-- going on too long here. here's a kid that says, "christmas is coming and i want to buy something for me to play with. so i'm asking you for $10.00. i would like to tell you, they're going to tax it." [ laughter ] i had one in here i got to get to it which-- another one. "dear santa, how are you feeling? how are you this year? we all hope you're feeling fine and also your little elves. now, let's get to the point of this letter.
i think marvin and his last name has been very good this year." and it's from marvin. [ laughter ] but i love that, he says, "let's get to the point." "dear santa--" jennifer. "please bring me for christmas two ankle bracelets made of gold and with all different colored jewels and gold shiny slippers with blue beads and turquoise beads. also, a ruby necklace with a gold chain and a ruby. please bring daddy, if possible, a down coat and a house in the country and a new ca would you settle for some play-doh and an apple. i mean this is-- [ laughter ] anyway, there's a lot of ones that are very funny in there. i got a few. now, these are the ones that we were talking about for christmas. and they all run in kind of the same category. and it's interesting when these children write. they-- not only-- some write for themselves so much, they write for their mother or somebody else in the family. it says, "my name is sylvia and i'm 8 years old. i'm so happy that christmas is coming soon. though, this year, my mother has told me
and no presents. i know what i would like very much for christmas. i've been good all year round and i also run errands for my mother and so forth. and bring something for my little brother." it always-- it's kids like this. "dear santa, i'm a handicapped child. my mom is poor and she has asthma." i would like to hear the things these kids ask for-- a winter jacket. you know, where most kids ask for toys and stuff, they ask for clothing and stuff like this. "dear santa, we ask our mother if you're going to come this year and she said no because dad is not working. i have two 11 year old sisters and one brother i would like to surprise." ask for nothing for herself, again. here's one from donna. "how are you feeling? i'm happy you're in town again." i like that. "could you help my mommy? this is the first time i am asking for your help. but i really feel that my mommy needs you this year. not for me. but for my brothers and sisters. she cannot buy nothing for them because we have a lot of bills to pay. my daddy is not working." and it goes on and on with letters like this.
here's that address again. because there are thousands of letters like this from youngsters. santa claus fund, the general post office, room 3012 in new york, new york. or you can actually go down to the post office in new york city, which is at what-- 30-- what's the address in new york? thirty-fourth and-- >> forty-second and fifth. >> is it forty-second and fifth? >> yeah. >> and go down there and pick up a couple of letters and it will really make christmas what it's all about. so i want to thank the postmaster for sending these letters. what? [ applause ] that's the library? not the library! you're giving me the address to the library. anyway, contact the post office because the have hundreds of these letters. we'll be back in a moment. jimmy stewart will be with us and hodding carter tonight.
in motion pictures. and jimmy's going to be seen in a television special called, "mr. krueger's special, " which airs on the 22nd. would you welcome jimmy stewart! [ music ] [ applause ] all right, jimmy. yeah. [ cheering ] >> thank you! >> well, well, well, well how are you? [ laughter ] happy holidays. >> i'm i'm i'm i'm fine.
>> do you go out-- do you go out christmas shopping this time of year? >> no. >> do you really? >> i'm a terrible shopper. >> me too. >> are you-- i swear, i don't how to-- [ laughter ] >> i panic. i cannot make a decision when i'm in a store. >> i went with gloria this morning. i followed her around like a dog. [ laughter ] and she said, "is that fine?" and i said, "fine." she said, "how do you like that?" i said, "yeah." she said, "what do-- do you like everything or do you wish we [ laughter ] i don't know what to do. >> you just want to get off the hook, right? >> right. >> what would you like, if somebody said, "i want to buy jimmy stewart something for christmas." >> gloria asked me that last night. >> oh, yeah. >> i don't know. i don't-- what do you-- a present? i really-- i'm stuck. >> yeah. nothing at all? an exotic trip someplace? >> no, maybe not.
>> yeah, i don't know what to say either. because they always say, "you're difficult to shop for." >> yep. maybe get me a good part in a picture. [ laughter ] >> that's what you'd like, huh? you have all the family together this year? >> yeah, they're all going to sort of end up-- the twins are coming and be with us for christmas. and then the twins are going over and see the son and his wife and the grandchildren. >> that's great. >> which we saw them last week. so, we'll all be sort of together. >> see, that's great. are you signaling to doc that we got to cut away for a minute? >> yes, we should. >> all right, we'll take a break. we're going to come right back because we got a little back up. we're going to sit here and do all kinds of things.
>> right? what do you play in this? you don't play santa claus, do you? >> no, no, it's not. as a matter of fact, i did it for the mormon church. and it's a sort of an interesting story. it's a christmas story but it's this christmas story and sort of the real reason that we celebrate christmas-- the birth of christ. >> right. >> and it's all told through the dreams and through the imagination of an old, who lives in the basement and has a cat named george. he-- but he's a dreamer and he-- for instance, he's sitting there in the basement, he's listening to an old phonograph record of the mormon tabernacle choir and he starts sort of-- he starts leading it and suddenly the fade in and i'm leading the mormon tabernacle choir. now, if you don't think that's something-- [ laughter ] if you don't think
>> stand up and-- yeah, in salt lake city up and stand up in front of the 350 boys. and you do this and they start to sing. well, i would-- [ laughter ] >> that's power. that's power. >> and it's called "mr. krueger's christmas" and then of course, another vision of his, it even goes to bethlehem and even goes to the manger and joseph and mary and the wisemen and the shepherds and everything. but it's through his eyes. >> yeah. he >> that sounds lovely. >> and i think it's kind of a nice thing. it will be here, i think, the 22nd but i guess it's playing-- >> i think it's syndicated around-- yeah around the country. >> all the places around the country. but it's kind of a nice story. >> yeah, you said you play an elderly person? you feel-- do you feel elderly? >> sure. >> oh, you do? [ laughter ] i thought you were going to say, "no, no, no!
it's sort of everybody's opinion. you can't really ask advice on this. you have to make up your own mind. i don't think that-- i think you ought to act your age and i just think i look in the mirror and i say, "well, you're old." [ laughter ] "you're old." i don't make a thing of it. and i-- but i don't make a thing of trying to be a kid. >> yeah. >> because i don't think-- and i-- people-- sort of the things that happen to you. you know, you have a belly ache and you can't hear very well. i don't like the people that sit there in a conversation and they-- somebody's talking and then at the end of the talking, they say, "what did you say?"
and then you -- and guy's going again and he said, "what did you say?" i can stand so much and then i say, "look! get one!" [ laughter ] they work! [ applause ] >> big deal. >> what did you say? [ laughter ] put that in! put that back here! what did you say? were you-- i'm going to wait until you get that. oh, excuse me. [ laughter ] >> oh, yeah. >> let me ask you a question, now. were you reluctant for a while to get that? >> yeah, yeah, of course, that's a natural thing. but i noticed it. around gloria a couple years and i noticed i found that gloria was always
and she didn't say anything about it-- the thing is, i didn't hear it. >> didn't hear the telephone. >> so i went to a doctor and he said, "well, yeah. how do you know that your hearing is gone?" and i said, "well, i can't hear the telephone bell and my wife has to answer the telephone." he said, "well, get a louder bell on the telephone." [ laughter ] and this worked for a while. >> yeah. >> except, we started waking the neighbors. [ laughter ] >> when it started sounding like big ben, that was too much. >> yeah, so i-- so i cut that out. so i went to a fellow and it's been all right. >> yeah, i understand you have-- and you have given them before-- you have another poem for us. >> well, i have a poem-- you have to explain it a little. >> yeah, it needs a little -- >> gloria and i and our twin daughters, judy and kelly,
and gloria and i take still picture. we have a lot of them from our trips to africa. and we thought maybe we'd get a moving camera for the twins. >> right. >> and so i got one-- this was quite a while-- but eastman had a thing called super 8. >> oh, yeah. >> eight millimeter film. >> right. >> well, we went to africa and the twins loved it and they really got it with the-- it was good weather and everything. they got a wonderful thing we got up real early to get the sunrise and i couldn't find the movie camera. and finally, judy said, "oh, i'm afraid i left it outside." i had it in a leather case and she left it outside. and the hunters said immediately, "okay, so you left it outside." so we formed a ring around the camp and went through the grass and sure enough, judy found it.
was the zipper and a hook on it and the lens was broken off the camera. and there were teeth mark-- it sort of looked like leather on the side-- there were teeth marks on the side. a hyena-- and this made sense because a hyena-- lots of times they wander through the camp and i've heard them brush up against the tent. they sort of go and i really thought i heard one ha ha ha laughing once, but boy-- they don't laugh. >> they don't. >> not when they're going through it. >> yeah. >> anyway-- [ laughter ] anyway, it sort of was-- it was sort of too bad and everybody was sort of quiet around the campfire that night and everything. and i decided to write a poem about it. it rained the next day so i had a chance to sort of sit and write my-- you want to hear it? >> i would love to hear it, yes. >> all right.
i'm a movie camera. i decided to do it from the point of view of the-- >> of the camera. >> camera. >> good. >> "i'm a movie camera. instamatic is my name. i'm eastman's latest model-- super 8. my claim to fame." >> good. >> "i was on a shelf in westwood when an actor purchased me and took me home to 918 in hills the beverly. i remember well, the oohs and ahs, when out of my box, i was n. to the actor's girls if i'm not mistaken. and soon, i comprehended what my mission was to be. i'm to photograph the animals in kenya across the sea. they put me in a leather case of rather old design. i wish it was a new one. but this one will be fine. then one day, i found myself beneath a curious chair. we're on our way to africa and we're flying through the air. a few days in nairobi
to the jungle camp, which seemed to me quite far. then the action started in jungle all day long. there was lots of picture taking and the light was good and strong. but then there came the highlight in the leopard blind, one day. and kelly took a picture as the leopard stalked its prey. they praise my work in camp that night and i just burst with pride. but if the liked my work so much, why'd they leave me here [ laughter ] a midnight wind came through the case and chilled me to the core. and also, there were noises that i hadn't heard before. and suddenly there was a tug upon the leather case and as wind swept across the campsite, we were dragged across the place. and through the grass, they dragged us a dozen yards or so and then we stopped quite suddenly and waited. i don't know.
it came once with a snarl. white fangs tore off the case and left me lying in the grass-- this monster soon defaced. and it was indeed a monster and it's yellow eyes did glare with viciousness upon me-- almost more than i can bear. and his slobbering jaw clamped down on me. oh, if i could only shout. and then it picked me up and shook me. and then it spit me out. [ laughter ] judy found me after dawn. there was moisture in the air. i felt sorry as she sadly looked as i was lying there. the actor didn't say much. he just shook his head and frowned as bit by bit, they picked their movie camera off the ground. there wasn't really much to say as you can plainly see. it seems that a hyena tried to make a meal of me.
state department chief spokesman. he's now writing a book based on his father-- a pulitzer prize winning editor. he also teaches at the american university-- lectures at leading colleges. and it's a pleasure to welcome him. the man has been called the new voice of america-- hodding carter. hodding! [ music ] it's a pleasure to meet you. i admired you tremendously somewhat difficult days where you had to face that daily-- daily onslaught of the reporters and the wire services. what's the most difficult job when you have to go out and speak for the state department? is it the adversary relationship that the press shows? >> actually, the most difficult part of it is remembering what you're not supposed to say, as opposed to what you're supposed to say. and when you're talking with the questions coming-- remembering that becomes the one overwhelming thing. >> in other words, you actually, of course,
>> you have to. you have to. if they want a spokesman to do a good job-- whomever they may be, they have to let him know more than he can tell. >> right. >> because otherwise, he is going to inadvertently lie or inadvertently make a mistake. >> so you have to self-edit as you go along? >> very carefully. >> are there certain reporters-- some of them are really kind of vitriolic. are there certain reporters that gave you more problems than others? that you felt sometimes, they were trying to put you in a very defensive position? >> i think one time or another, every reporter feels he has got a hold of something and which is really worth pressing you. if he's any good-- >> right. >> he's going to press you anyway. but no, as a matter of fact, in those 3 1/2 years, i don't feel there was any one reporter who had some ax-- >> right. >> that he had for my neck uniquely. i had one, generally, for all spokesman's neck. not just for my neck. and it was a really good relationship, actually. >> when you gea debriefing, most of us know so little about the inner workings of the government. it's kind of giving it--
>> when you go out there, what you have before you go out is a clear idea-- in my case, the secretary of state. >> right. >> what the major lines are supposed to be. you have, from all over town, actually, guidances, as they call them, which is supposed to set the limits for how you go. >> mmhmm. >> actually, there's no way to anticipate what the 50 reporters are going to ask you. so you go out knowing what you are supposed to say-- thinking you know whou and not having any idea what questions they will actually ask you. >> that's a very delicate position, isn't it? >> sometimes. >> to kind of tread that light. >> yeah, it can be. it was also one in which it required, happily what i got, which was several months of no real crisis before you began being pressed. if i had had to go out there the first couple of months, then deal with the subjects i later had-- >> right. >> i think i would've had us, if not into world war iii and the total embarassment right away.
kind of build up to the major-- major crises. >> the other part of it was the reporters knew they had one ignorant silly hick from mississippi, so they sat there and said, "we'll give him about two months and then we'll kill him." [ laughter ] and that's -- >> you think there always seems to be-- there always seems to be that attitude in government for a while, that when somebody new comes in, they give him what they call the honeymoon and then all of a sudden the honeymoon seems to disappear. whether it's president or a spokesman or any government position. >> if i hadn't had that honeymoon for those few months, i would've been divorced by that secretary of state a lot earlier. no, it's true. and it should be that way, as a matter of fact. if people elect the president to come in and do a certain kind of a job, i think for the moment that's he's in, those first few months, he deserves that time to see what he intends to do to put his program before the people. and then naturally, being in a democratic system-- >> right. >> they start going at you and johnny carson starts talking about you and-- >> yeah, got to keep them on their toes. we'll take a short break.
[ music ] we're talking with hodding carter. one of the things that i admired-- and i think a lot of reporters did too, when you were under the gun. if you didn't have the answer to a question, you used a phrase that you don't hear too much in washington. you'd say, "i don't know." which is not a bad answer if you don't know. because most people are-- skirt around it and do a lot of gobbledygook and say nothing. you'd simply say, c or " i don't know the answer." >> that would happen to be the truth. which helped a great deal. >> did you ever have something that you knew so, this must be very tough when you're privy to the inner secrets. that you couldn't tell your friends-- it was very difficult for you to sit and talk, thinking that you might say something that you shouldn't? >> every now and then. i don't want to pretend to you that i was one of the walking repositories of top secrets of the government, because i wasn't. but yes, obviously, all the time. there were things that when you went out, you didn't talk about a great deal.
a great deal and couldn't. but not-- yeah, i want to tell you. among the many things i was among the last to know, was the raid in tehran. i wasn't walking around with that secret in the back of my head. >> yeah. >> as a result, i was able to go out, speak to the american newspaper publishers association the day before the raid and assure them, because i believe that no force was going to be used. as i flew back from hawaii from that day, the stewardess walked over, shook me and said, "i'm so sorry." and i said, she said, "the raid." i said, "what raid?" >> oh. >> this was a spokesman for american foreign policy. [ laughter ] >> i suppose, there are certain things that that is a fine line to draw. what should the government tell the public and what should they not tell them. there are certain things, obviously. that the more people know, the less chance you have of keeping a secret-- there have to be secrets. do you feel that the press or the media sometimes presses too hard to find out things that maybe the public should not know?
there are real secrets that ought to be kept and they must be kept. there is also great body of information that's classified, which is about as important as the fact that i have on a blue tie-- i.e. it has no business being classified. >> right. >> if you threw out about half the classification, you could keep the secrets that are important a lot better. >> right. >> the way things are now, when everything is classified, people believe that none of the classification makes sense. >> yeah, there's no value in anything. >> there's not value in any of it and that's a problem. >> d or the media, generally? do you think-- they should, of course, have that adversary relationship with the government. do you think sometimes they overstep their bounds? >> it's inevitable that there will be times in which the combat, which is sort of written into the constitution, becomes outside the bounds. but i have to tell you again, i would like to sit here and complain and say one of the terrible things in the last four years was an adversary relationship with the press-- that wasn't. they did their job and
[ music ] we wish we had a little more time tonight. it's fascinating. >> it's been great. >> i thank you for coming tonight, hodding. >> thank you. my pleasure. >> jimmy, thank you for coming. the special is "mr. krueger's christmas, " which will be on t around the country in syndication. tomorrow night, we have richard pryor will be with us and richard benjamin. have a nice night. [ music ]
i'm humbled by that applause. ? come and knock on our door ? ? come and knock on our door ? ? we've been waiting for you ? ? we've been waiting for you ? ? where the kisses are hers and hers and his ? ? three's company, too. ? ? come and dance on our floor ? ? come and dance on our floor ? ? take a step that is new ? ? take a step that is new ? a lovable space that needs your face ? ? three's company, too. ? ? you'll see that life is a ball again ? ? laughter is calling for you ? ? down at our rendezvous ? ? down at our rendezvous ?
i need to ask you a question. are you any good at chinese cooking? are you kidding? i practically "wokked" to the head of my class. get it-- "wok," "walk"? i get it, that's good. because, listen, my boss's wife-- she wants to learn chinese cooking so i told her that you would give her lessons. janet, you had no right to do that without asking me first. she'll pay you $25 an hour. when can she start? as soon as you can. well, listen, i got the dinner shift tomorrow at the restaurant. how about tomorrow afternoon? that's what i told her. ( phone ringing ) hello. oh, hi, terri.
oh, sure. okay, we'll see you tomorrow, bye-bye. hmm... who was that? terri won't be home tonight. she's working the double shift at the hospital. again? really. she must need money. well, i'll get the bedroom all to myself. ( audience laughter ) if you get lonely, just knock. you mean, something like this? on second thought, why don't you just whistle? well, mrs. latham, you're a very good student. those egg rolls look just right. let's see... delicious. not as good as yours. oh, well... i'm so glad janet got us together. i never dreamed cooking could be so much fun. thank you. oh, my, look at that time.
downtown for dinner. where can i change? oh, right this way, i'll show you. right in here, if that's all right. thank you. yeah, i've got to change, too. but first let me put your delicious egg rolls away. ( as cowboy ): y'all are goin' to egg-roll heaven. ( in high voice ): help me, help me! ( laughter ) ( sighs ) jack, i... oh, hello. you must be one of jack's roommates. yes, i'm terri. i'm joanna latham. you're certainly a lucky girl sharing an apartment with a man like jack. for someone so young he certainly knows what he's doing-- such technique. really?
uh... sure. that jack... you know, he showed me things i'd never even heard of. ( laughter ) oh, is he here? in the bedroom, getting dressed. you know what i like best? he's so patient. he let me do it over and over till i finally got it right. oh, hi, terri. oh, jack, i've got to run. thanks so much. here you are-- $25. ( laughter ) and worth every penny. you know, i feel guilty about this. you know, i had as much fun as you did. don't be silly, jack, you earned it. oh, all right, bye-bye now. terri, i've got to get to work. we have to talk about something. listen, i don't want to be late.
listen, jack... ah! jack, i just ran into mrs. latham. she absolutely is crazy about you, jack. the woman said that you have got more talent in your little... janet... ( laughter ) you're embarrassing me. just tell me i'm fantastic, and let it go at that. you're fantastic. take care, girls. jack, i... how's it going? janet! yeah? listen, we have got to talk. oh, not right now, terri, i've got to go shopping. i ran into the most incredible sale on designer jeans. janet, about jack and mrs. latham... oh, isn't it great? i got them together. you did? yeah, it's a great way for jack to make some extra bucks. janet, i'm no prude... of course you're not-- otherwise you'd not have moved in here. hi, everybody. hello, cindy. gosh, janet how'd you know it was me? it just hit me.
give you the details because i've got to go shopping. listen, janet... bye, janet. isn't that just like janet? always on the go. i really wouldn't know. i've only been here a week. she's so smart and practical. i keep telling her she should start her own business. i think she already has. huh? cindy, tell me about jack. oh, jack? ve the way he fools around? fools around... yeah, acting love starved like he's always on the make-- things like that. are you sure he's acting? with jack, you can never be too sure. oh, my gosh! i'll be late for class. listen, cindy, wait. is jack having trouble making, you know, ends meet with his new career and all? yeah, that's why he's always taking those odd jobs. odd jobs?
jack does to make a buck. bye. ( clears throat ) ( whistling ) well, what do you think? my new designer jeans, only $20. hey, that's cheap. jack, are you kidding? especially for calvin kleins. janet, the label says "calvin clones." keep going, janet, you're gaining on it! how embarrassing. just sit down and eat your eggs. well, uh... okay. hi, terri. you're just in time for breakfast. i'm not hungry. gosh, terri, are you okay? yeah, i'm fine. well, no.
n't know. if there's something wrong, you can tell us. we'll understand. well, i... um... it's just that, uh... i think i may have to move. move? you just got here. we thought you liked it here. i do, but... why are you moving? i'd rather not say. well, terri, wait a minute now... jack, it's none of our business. if the... ck! does this have anything to do with a man? it certainly does. ( doorbell rings ) that's for me, i'll get it. what's going on? i don't know. let's go find out. hello, terri. this is a friend of mine, dr. anderson. hello. how do you do? what's up, doc?
ng. what? just leaving. wait, ter... gosh, we must have done something to upset her. jack... have you been coming on to terri? of course not. but if you think it'd help... jack! i mean... jack! ( doorbell rings ) i appreciate your helping me out. i've been going crazy trying to find an apartment for my niece. i think she'll like it here. most of the people here are very nice. well, i hope so. there are a lot of weirdos running around. are you looking for me? oh, hi, mr. furley. this is a friend of mine, dr. anderson. oh, doctor... well, how do you do, doctor? hey, you know something? i bet people are always bugging you
yeah, i figured. some people have so much nerve. well... ow! what's wrong? oh, it's nothing. oh, good. it's just that i've been getting this twinge in my arm but i sure wouldn't want to bug you about it. it's probably nothing. and dr. anderson is looking for an apartment for his niece. yes, she'll be here in two weeks. it's a sharp, shooting pain. and i heard there was a vacancy in 302. yes, i wonder if i could see it? sure... it really hurts when i move it like this. what do you think i ought to do, doc? don't move it like that. mr. furley, could you show dr. anderson the apartment? sure, just as soon as i take this paint up to your place. be right back. hey, doc... you know what?
we've got to think of something to change her mind. something has happened that's upset her. if we could just find out what that is. that's a good idea. why don't you come out and ask her what you did? ( knocking ) the wrong person is moving out. oh, hi. i got that paint for your bedroom. oh, great. let's take a look at the colors. factory seconds? blue for the ceiling oh, boy, how cheap. what was that? i said, "blue and green, how chic." and it's cheap, too. by the way, kids did you know that a very prominent physician is taking an apartment in this building? a friend of terri's, a doctor, uh... janet: anderson? yeah, yeah. great arm man.
his "niece" my aspidistra. huh? oh, boy. come on, jack, grow up. there is no niece. he's taking that apartment for terri. you're going bonkers on me. a stranger comes to the door and right away you got him moving in with terri. jack, he is no stranger to terri and now he's going to set her up in a nice, low-rent love nest. oh, please, janet, come on. jack, look, he's probably just taking advantage of the fact that she needs money right now. boy, i can just see it. at first he'll come to see her every day. then pretty soon, once a week. then once a month. then he's going to find somebody younger and he'll just throw her out like an old shoe. the whole sordid story is just as clear as a bell.
okay, fine, jack tripper, fine, fine. mr. furley said that this "niece" was going to be moving in in two weeks. we'll just see who's bonkers then. well, wait a minute the... terri, terri, listen. you're not serious about leaving us, are you? i'm afraid i am. you're moving out just like that? no, i'll give you time to find a new roommate. you will? how much time? two...? you see? what did i tell you? she's going to move in with him. what should we do? janet, there's only one thing to do. what? i don't know!
uh, terri, why are you moving out? i just have to. oh, gee, if you needed money, terri you could have come to us. i don't need money. oh, right, of course you don't. ( laughs nervously ) i don't know why i said that. i just meant hypothetically-- you know, if ever, ever in your life you would need money, then you could come to me. i mean, i could probably get you some extra work. like the work you lined up for jack? oh, no, terri, you couldn't do work like that. ( laughter ) you can say that again. no, thanks, but i don't need any of your help. oh, sure. yeah, sure. uh... any luck?
please don't make it any worse. trust me, i know what i'm doing. are you sure? of course not. hi, terri. hi. listen, i just want you to know how sorry we are to lose you. terri... jack, no, no, no, fine. i am fine. just good for the leg muscles. ah. so tell me, ter... terri, are you... .. please, don't worry about that. janet never liked that lamp anyway. terri, listen, what's this dr. anderson like? why? well, i mean, what kind of a man is he? oh, he's very nice. is that all? well, he's also very demanding. i mean, when he wants something, he gets it. you can always say no, can't you?
oh, you poor kid. it's worse than i thought. if she says no to anderson she'll lose her job. the crumb. i'd like to deck him. well, that's not going to help her keep her job. jack, maybe we could... hi, terri. i just want to make a phone call. jack and i will just go into his bedroom so you can have some privacy. hello, i'm tom latham. mr. latham? yes. mrs. latham's husband? that's usually the way it goes, yes. quick! oh, you poor man. here, come, there, sit down.
you really shouldn't be here. why... isn't today my wife's lesson? you know about jack and your wife? sure. you don't mind? of course not-- she has to learn somehow. ( loud laughter ) good heavens! ( pot clanging ) terri? terri: it's okay, everything's fine. well, well, well, speak of the doctor. look who's here, janet. dr. anderson. my, we were just talking about you. oh? is terri home? she said she'd help me pick out the paint for my niece's apartment. your niece's apartment, huh? and does your wife know about this niece? yes, but she's not happy about it. i'll bet!
for a young single girl. but you'll be there to protect her, won't you? of course, i'll be in and out all the time. say, where is terri? i'd really like her to help me pick out that paint. you want paint? why, we just happen to have some in the bedroom that i think you'll be very interested in. oh, good idea, jack. good idea. let's show dr. anderson our paint. yes, let's really give it to him. say, dr. anderson, do you prefer blue or green? is much nicer. oh, blue! he likes blue. actually, the whole thing was my idea. it was? sure, a guy gets tired of the same thing night after night. ( laughter ) so you sent her to jack? right. but i still don't understand why you're here. oh, i don't know i thought it'd kind of be fun to watch.
what?! sicko! what are you... dr. latham, what happened? that girl has flipped her noodle. terri did this? oh, my goodness, mr. latham i can't tell you how sorry i am. excuse me, i'm so sorry. just dab a little. get out of here. terri, what's going on? that horrible man, making his poor wife sons from some other man and then coming to... to... wa... wa... watch! what's wrong with watching cooking lessons? what's wrong with watching cook... coo... cooking lessons? he's watching cooking lessons? yeah, what'd you think? i thought you were giving her love lessons and that janet arranged it.
oh, i could just kill myself. oh, how can i ever face mr. latham? i... oh, i can't even face you. terri, how could you ever think that about janet and me? well, i... i don't know you that well and... and when she... i came in and she came out of the bathroom with her zip... and her and you were adjusting your clothes. i mean, what else would you think? oh, i'm going to kill myself. why you're moving in with dr. anderson. i'm not moving in with him. what about apartment 302? that's for his niece. his n... his niece? he really has a real niece? oh, did you think that i... that he... that we... ( laughs ) how could you?
i. uh, you see... oh, mr. latham, what happened? that's what i'd like to know. so would i. my god, what's going on here? wait a second, mr. latham, look, look this is hysterical. i mean, if you can see the humor in this. um, uh, uh... terri thought that i was teaching your wife to be a better lover. ( forced laugh ) you? chuckling ) now that's funny. ( others laughing ) that's funny. wait a minute, it's not that funny.
? come and knock on our door ? ? come and knock on our door ? ? we've been waitin' for you ? ? we've been waitin' for you ? ? where the kisses are hers and hers and his ? ? three's company, too ? ? come and dance on our floor ? ? come and dance on our floor ? ? take a step that is new ? ? take a step that is new ? ? we've a lovable space that needs your face ? ? three's company, too ? ? you'll see that life is a ball again ? ? laughter is callin' for you ? ? down at our rendezvous ? ? down at our rendezvous ?
ot to get to my dance class. janet, a little exercise will do you good. what do you mean a little exercise will do me good, jack? what do you think dancing is? well, come on you can't call "whoo" exercise. oh, really? what do you think, terri? you're right, janet. what? and you're right, too, jack. wait-- how could we both be right? i don't know. i'm new around here. let me tell you something, jack tripper. we don't go "ooh!" dancing can be one of the most strenuous things that you ever do. strenuous? what, dancing? oh, right. "oh!" ( laughter ) ooh. are you finished? i suppose you think you could make it through an hour of dance class? an hour?
right now? i would, but uh... cindy's coming to dinner. i'm making her something special. chicken. no, i thought maybe duck. ( laughter ) forget it, jack. just forget it. i knew that you'd never take me up on it. hold it-- was that a dare? you bet your sweet little tutu. you're on! boogie, mama. oh, hi, marlene. hi, janet. i think i'm going to like it here. come on, jack. it's important that you get loosened up right away. we'll start with your neck. ( groans ) okay, put your feet like this.
that's a problem. no, it isn't, jack. ( shouts ) we'll do a couple of sets of eight. ready, and one, two, three, four. two, two, three, four. three, two... ( laughter ) looking tremendously good, i must say. well, hi. well, h... ( screams ): hi! matter? no, no. i always warm up like this. ( whimpers in pain ) you're funny. yeah-- did you hear the one about...? ooh, ooh! ( laughter ) jack! jack... oh, jack! what have you done? i don't know but i think i'm still doing it, janet. janet, it doesn't go like that! bring this leg down!
e, jack. all right, places, everyone. come on, let's get started. janet! yes, right here. janet, janet, janet. yes, michael. i want you up front where the class can watch you. oh, sure. i expected to see you last night. you know i've got to spend some time with my husband. michael: do you want that part in the show or don't you? okay, i'll see you tonight. good girl. okay, let's go! we've got lots to do. we'll work on that combination we worked on last week. what do i do? just follow along, jack-- if you can. okay, we all know the beginning. we're going to take it from the boogie section right after the intro. you ready? and one, two, three, four. two, two, three, four. turn, two, three, four. good. now we'll do it to the music, everybody. you call this exercise? it's a snap.
in the beginner's class. possibly, as long as it's not in dancing. you've got to be in shape to be a dancer, son. ( coughs ) i was when i came in. you kids have a good time. you're doing great. janet. yes, michael. would you take over the class? i've got to make a phone call. oh, sure. janet's got it, everybody. take it from the top. thanks. ( music begins ) five, six, seven, eight. ( laughing ) oh, yeah?
he's so cute. all the girls are crazy about him. is he handsome? gorgeous. there's one thing about him i can't stand. what? his wife. i know what you mean. all the interesting ones are married. excuse me, i'm not married. and we're not interested. oh, i'm sorry. hi, jack. hi, terri. oh, jack, jack! you will never guess what happened! he asked me to be in his show. i'm so excited. michael, my dance instructor. this local production of annie, get your gun. one of the girls in the chorus line-- well, she dropped out so he asked me if i would step in. i have to learn all the dance steps and i have only one week. well? aren't you going to say anything? about what? janet: jack! no, i'm kidding. that's great! fabulous! that's so great. congratulations, janet. can you believe it? i will be up there, dancing
, can we all come? oh, i wasn't sure you'd be interested. what? what? what? just in case, though i reserved the entire front row. oh, i thought the audience loved it. i hope janet saw me applauding. how could she miss you? standing on your seat yelling "encore, encore!" i'll plug in the coffee. so, what do you think, mr. furley? oh, i love musicals... singing and dancing. well, i thought janet was sensational! so did i. considering that it was her very first time. well, i mean every dancer stumbles once or twice. three times. you saw that time, too? wasn't that embarrassing? hey, hey, hey! ix-nay on all this negative inking-thay. ( laughter )
but i don't think we should lie to her and tell her she was better than she was. i mean, we owe her more than that. we owe her the truth. hi, everybody! well, what'd you think? you were wonderful! well, what did the rest of you think? well, uh... i thought you were great. ah, you're just saying that. no, honest. i mean, i did stumble once or twice. ( laughter ) not that anyone noticed. ( laughter ) i was so nervous backstage before the curtain went up but then i looked over and i saw michael and he smiled at me. oh, michael... oh, michael, i'm so sorry. oh, i didn't even introduce you. you already know jack-- from our dance class? oh, yeah, the klutz. he remembers me. well, i have to tell you this is the most exciting night of my life.
as if you're hanging up your dancing shoes. what? you all saw janet out there-- she has a talent and it shouldn't be wasted working in a flower shop. well, that's my job. it doesn't have to be. what? with a lot of work and dedication your job could be dancing-- professionally. wait a minute, wait a minute. janet worked four years to be manager of that flower shop. well, listen-- i can't tell you what to do but the girl that just said to me ost exciting night in her life is good. but you want her to quit her job? if she wants to make it as a dancer. isn't all this happening just a little too fast? well, that's how i work. when i spot someone who's got talent i make my move. well, janet? janet? janet!
you've got to talk to her. it won't do any good. michael's the only one she's listening to. there's something about him i just don't like. you don't know the half of it-- last week he told one of his students that if she wanted to make it as a dancer she'd have to make it with him. oh, i knew it! you've got to go tell that to janet. well, uh, maybe i won't have to. i mean, last night she was higher than a kite but i bet this morning she'll be back to being the same sensible, level-headed janet. ( sing-songy ): good morning! he's throwing her life down the drain. and you're going to let her do it? no, no-- i'm going to talk some sense into her head right now.
let the chips fall where they may. ah! what do you think, jack? that was great, i really liked that... ah! janet, could i... excuse me. ( humming tune ) janet, do you think... uh, janet? could i talk to you for just... janet! yes? about your being a dancer... oh, isn't it wonderful, jack? it's the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me. most friends would tell me i'm making a big mistake. yes... but not the two of you. no. i got to go. uh, janet, janet... no, really, i do have to go. i want to speak to my boss first thing this morning about quitting. boy, you had those chips flying all over the place. ( laughter ) i'd like to see you do better. you just watch me. some of us aren't afraid to tell it like it is.
janet, i have something important to talk to you about and it just can't wait. oh, sure, terri, sure. what are best friends for? so you tell me when you're free and we'll make an appointment. wait a minute! wait, wait! i'll catch you when you're not so busy. terri! ( laughter ) terri! terri, come here. gosh! you tell me what's on your mind. go ahead, come on. well, uh... you see, uh... it's just that i... well, i mean that like jack and i... uh, we, uh... hey! what's this? oh, that's my family album. you don't want to look at that. oh, yes, i do. i love family albums. oh, is this your family? ( laughs ) well, of course it has to be, doesn't it? let me see... hey, what's this?
oh. oh, are you that cute little princess with the pigtails? no, i'm the frog. ( laughter ) you see that lady? that's mrs. murphy. she was my dancing teacher. i used to dream i would grow up someday and be a dancer, just like her. you know, some dreams don't come true. i know, but now... i've had dreams, too. really? about what? well, i dreamt that when i grew up i'd be a nurse. ( laughter ) you are a nurse. ( laughter ) so much for that. ( knock at door ) hi-- is everything okay? oh, sure, jack everything's just fine. oh, great... it's all for the best. all for the best? yeah, it's better for you to give up dancing now than fall on your face later. what?
terri? didn't you talk to janet about her dancing? mmm... yes but we didn't exactly get to the quitting part yet. quitting? you want me to give up my career? well, uh, see... jack tripper! i thought i could count on you for support. you can, janet, it's just that... well, never mind, jack. i don't need your support. no... janet, janet! just forget it, jack! did you lose your voice? ( knock at door ) i'm not going to quit. i'm not quitting! hi, janet. thought i'd put a new switch in your bathroom. i hate quitters. i just got here. who cares? i care! ralph furley is not a quitter! i've been fired a lot, but i never quit.
janet? janet? huh! janet? oh, my gosh, she's already left for the flower shop! we'll catch her at the bus stop. ( laughter ) okay, okay, i'll catch up with you later. you'd think people have never seen anybody in their underwear before. ( laughter ) not bad. it's a big improvement since class. you just missed janet. okay, well, i'll come back later. no, wait, wait... it's just as well. it'll give us a chance to be alone. here... why don't we get comfortable? ( laughter ) michael, do you really think janet has what it takes to make it as a professional dancer? michael: i wouldn't have taken her on
wait a minute. you seriously think i'm going to drop janet for you? ( laughter ) jack: i do. look, you and i both know that she's not good enough for you. i mean, she's got no experience. she's too short. and don't forget her age. that's right, she's not... janet! ( laughter ) i know this looks bad, but when i explain... furley: you don't need to explain. i heard everything. backstabber! i'm no backstabber! liar! you're just jealous, jack because i have a chance to go somewhere and you're not going anywhere. all i was doing was... we know what you were doing. you were trying to steal janet's boyfriend! ( laughter ) both: mr. furley! janet, i just dropped by to see
good, i'll see you downstairs. thank you. god, janet, i can't believe you're being taken in by that... that lech. lech! what are you talking about? come on... i overheard this guy talking to that girl marlene and telling her if she couldn't find the time to come to his apartment she'd never make it as a dancer. now, why would he say something like that if he wasn't hitting on her? because he's her brother. that's right, becau... what? huh? and he's just giving her extra help so she can get a part in his show. you're nothing but a big jerk, jack. i hope everything is perfectly clear. not to me-- i wish someone... ( groans ) janet, where are you going? huh! i see you talked to her. terri, i made such a big mistake. i got to get down there and make it up to her before she hates me for the rest of her life. jack, i...
i never pay any attention to what i hear when i listen. ( laughter ) ( slow piano music playing ) i'd like to apologize again for jack. there's no need to. during my career i've run into a lot of overprotective boyfriends. oh, jack's not my boyfriend. oh. unlucky him. ( laughter ) michael... janet. michael... janet. michael, don't! ( laughter ) janet, you've got a good thing going with me. don't blow it! what? ( screams in pain ) you're fighting it. michael... jack! jack's just a kid-- forget him.
sn't this better? wait, michael... bravo, bravo, fantastic! lovely, lovely, just great. just super. i loved that last part. brilliant, brilliant. you two looked so good together. jack, i'd like to say something. michael, i just want to thank you for all you're doing with janet. you're doing a great job. jack, would you please just butt out? i'm just apologizing. well, don't. i'd wish she'd make up her mind. ( laughter ) i trusted you. i believed in you. you made me believe in myself. i think what you did was very, very cruel. i'm sorry you feel that way. that's it? that's all that you have to say? no, janet. no. let me level with you. i don't think you've got what it takes
please don't say that you told me so, jack because i know that you tried to warn me. janet... and you don't have to say i ought to be grateful for my one big night in the spotlight because it is a lot more than i ever dreamed of having in my whole life. janet! and don't say you didn't come here to say those things because i know darn well you did. janet... what?
? la-la-la ? i've never seen you so happy. me, neither, which is a really sad commentary on hilda's life. hilda always gets this excited when she's going to see our cousin zsa zsa goowhiggie. she's my favorite relative. she's a great practical joker... tons of fun. er bees in someone's bonnet "fun." well, maybe you were too swollen to laugh. well, i'm going to say my hellos and then get back to work on my subatomic microphone. still trying to prove electrons can hear? don't laugh. because they might hear me? and you, instead of fooling around with zsa zsa you should be practicing your violin. you've got an audition in two days. which is two days away. ( screaming ) oh!