tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC April 22, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am EDT
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. glad you are here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: before we -- before we go forward, i want to -- i had dinner with a group of guys last night. i heard an interesting story i want to share from my friend dan, who lives in new jersey. he flew in to l.a. on an american airlines flight from jfk. he sat next to a guy who he described as a slightly thinner version of michael moore. so they sit through the whole flight. in the end when they got up, the guy says, buddy, i have to tell you something, you really need to do something about your feet, very strong odor. dan is like i do, really? and he guy is like, yeah, you do. first thing dan wanted to do is smell his own feet. he says he's the type of person -- and i'm like this,
too. takes pride in the fact he never has any body lowe odor, clothing. that's why i don't exercise. if you were to put a blindfold on and smell me you would think you were in the presence of snuggle the fabric softener. you would. so dan is like that, too. the idea that his feet would smell up the cabin of the plane is his nightmare. he's mortified. the guy says in a smug way. he guy says i'm just telling you so the next time you fly you can be a good corporate citizen. he gets in to a town car with his boss, pete and he tells him the story and he asked him to smell his shoes. they are in the car in the back. dan takes off his shoe and hands it to him and pete says i don't smell anything. it smells like a shoe. dan feels vindicated but now angry because this guy under the
guise of being courteous while being a good corporate citizen made a false accusation against dan's feet, which i think is illegal, right? so they are driving along. they are in the car and dan is beside himself. he can't let it go. he's so mad. totally wound up. when they get to the hotel as they pull up the driver driving the town car, apparently tony overheard the conversation and said let me smell them. and dan says, what? he says, your shoe, let me shell smell your shoe. again, dan takes off the shoe and tony puts his nose right in the shoe and he agreed there was no smell at all. tony said you have to find this guy. [ laughter ] you have to track him down that's why i'm telling the story. i'm looking for your help to find this guy [ cheers and applause ]
>>. >> jimmy: if you were on flight number 1 from jfk sitting in 9-a or know who was, contact me via twitter who i can get in touch with dan who i don't know what he will do when he gets in touch with the guy. i guess he will make him smell his feet. so happy earth day, everybody. it is earth day. did you know it is earth day, guillermo? >> guillermo: yes, sir. yes, yes. >> jimmy: you know it is earth day. i bet the earth got so many messages. the first earth day took place in 1970. the rate we are going the last one should be soon. we rely on the earth for our lives and don't take dacare of .
i was trying to figure out why. i don't think the earth has a good slogan, like snack in to a slim jim. let me know what you thichlt let's run through them. it is earth, an awesome place to be. too generic? all right. try. this earth, this ain't your mama's plast planet. technically it is your mama's planet. so that's confusing. this one, earth rated number one in customer satisfaction. here's another one, earth we've got tacos. [ cheers and applause ] . >> guillermo: i like that one, yeah. >> jimmy: earth, i'm lovin' it is another one. i think that's taken. one more, i think this might be the one because it is a little edgy but not too edgy.
it is fresh and now but yet still feminine. ready? new slogan, earth, damn, lady, you fine. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm trying to think outside 0 the box. probably the most beautiful of all of the tributes to the earth today is this instagram post from our receptionist at the show. angela who has one of the great instagram accounts on instagram. you can see go outside and look around you and see the earth is breathing with you. i love our planet earth and experience its beauty every day. #earth day #mountains #ocean #we are all connected you can see there are a lot of hashtags. they say the more hashtags you post the more you love the earth. have any of you taken the kylie
jenner challenge? she is a member of house kardashian. you try to replicate her puffed up lips by sticking your mouth in to a glass or bottle and sucking hard and then posting it to instagram like this. >> what did i do? [ laughter ] >> oh, no! >> oh, no, indeed. >> even kylie jenner has been telling her friends not to do this. people are getting injured. it causes bruising and swelling. one girl's lips came off. they are at the bottom of a one liter bottle of mountain dew. if we don't have one new kardashian body part to fixate on we could collapse as a civil
vaigsization. it could be over. a fun show tonight. manny pacquiao is on the show tonight. on may 7th at the mgm grand in las vegas, nevada, manny will face floyd mayweather in one of the most anticipated bouts since ever. he is from the philippines and a national hero and so much more popular than any sports star we can compare it to. when manny fights the crime cite in the philippines goes down to zero. there's no crime because everybody is watching television. i wonder if anyone in the philippines is rooting for floyd mayweather. probably one jerk nobody likes. we have a doctor in the house, dr. phil. dr. phil,ly never forget, dr. phil said no matter how flat you make a pancake, it's still got two sides. not only does he understand the human condition he understands breakfast, too. dr. phil over the years has
turned so many lives around. i don't know if you saw his show today, he had a talk with somebody that i think hit home -- it was a complicated situation. take a look at this. >> look. you have developed this pattern of acting out physically against other people. the only way it's going to stop is if you choose to stop it. so, i'm asking you, manny, why do you feel compelled to fight floyd mayweather? >> because i'm being paid millions, millions, millions, millions of dollars. >> you know, in that case just go beat the [ bleep ] out of him. >> thank you, dr. phil. >> jimmy: good advice. we have to take a break. when we come back from that break, guillermo has all of the celebrity gossip. he has john seen that, zoe deshanl. we will be right back. don't go away. ♪
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>> welcome back. dr. phil, manny pacquiao and music from chet faker on the way. i don't know if you saw "people" magazine today named their most beautiful woman of 2015 and the most beautiful woman is sandra bullock. she is past most beautiful women like beyonce, julia roberts was the most beautiful woman four times she gets more beautiful and less beautiful again. not only is sandra bullock the most beautiful woman, also a
brave astronaut. congratulations. i was hoping this would be my year, but congratulations to her. we do our show -- we have been doing this show in the heart of hollywood, which is the entertainment and celebrity capital of the world, literally thousands of celebrities live and work within a ten-mile radius of our show. so many it can be hard to keep up. that's why we are fortunate to have one of the most adored and adorable reporters in all of the world. his name is guillermo and it is time again for "mucho." >> dicky: why is sean penn so thin? it is a new hollywood diet or a serious disease? either way it is one sick body. plus, rich bitch. is paris hilton's dog addicted to plastic surgery. check out these photos.
and guillermo goes deep with zooey deschanel. does she reveal her most shocking secrets? >> guillermo: i don't remember. all. >> dicky: all of this from the hollywood center. >> guillermo: hi, everybody. welcome to mucho. are you mucho excited to hear some stupid crap? [ applause ] how about you, jimmy, are you excited to hear some stupid crap. >> jimmy: yes, i'm very excited to hear it. >> guillermo: it is time to play "who am i wearing". >> dicky: who am i wearing? >> guillermo: i'm wearing tommy bahama and dockers. >> dicky: that's hot. >> guillermo: that's great. let's keep it going and find out
zoe's zodiac sign. hi, zooey deschanel. when is your birthday? >> january 17th. >> guillermo: hold this. you are -- capricorn. >> yeah, i know. >> guillermo: exclusiveo. thank you, you did good. she did good, huh, guys? now who wants to find out what miley cyrus is up to? [ applause ] it is time to get the es-scoop-o. hey, miley cyrus what are you up to? really that sounds fun. well, it was good talking to you i'm glad we are friends, miley cyrus. wow! miley's up to some real cool
stuff. >> wow! >> jimmy: what did she say, though? >> guillermo: what did who say? >> jimmy: what did miley cyrus say? >> guillermo: she said mind your own business. and now, let's check in on celebrity casting news. >> dicky: celebrity casting news. will wwe star john sneen wear a big bra on the screen in zina warrior princess. find out now. it is right now. >> guillermo: are you up for the role of xena warrior princess. >> who told you that. >> guillermo: nobody. we just made it up. >> that's not funny. i'm not up for the role of xena warrior princess. >> guillermo: exclusiveo. >> i just told you. >> guillermo: he's a great guy. that's all for now.
tune in next time for naked somebody. for now, i'm guillermo and that was "mucho." >> jimmy: grace i can't see, guillermo. tonight we have music from chet baker and manny pacquiao is here. we will be right back with dr. phil. ♪ degree gave women a motion activated wristband to understand how much they move. and created degree motionsense the world's first antiperspirant with unique micro capsules activated by movement that release bursts of freshness all day. keeping you fresher with every move. motionsense. protection to keep you moving.
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♪ >> jimmy: hi there. tonight a popular gentleman from the land down under. the album is called "built on glass." it looks just like this. chet faker from the at&t outdoor stage tonight. and then on may 2nd, he takes on floyd mayweather in the fight of the century so far. live on pay-per-view from las vegas. manny pacquiao is here with us. this is something i want to ask him about. for a lot of fights justin bieber comes out to the locker room with floyd mayweather and i want to be manny's justin bieber. dress like that. >> guillermo: i agree with you. >> jimmy: just walking out with him, looking tough, maybe a towel around my neck. sunglasses on for no reason. hopefully that will happen. i don't know. tomorrow on the show we have the
cast of "blablackish. anthony anderson, tracee ellis ross and laurence fishburne and -- from "scandal," guillermo diaz will join us and we'll have music from earth, wind and fire with chicago. >> since he was here last our first guest has continued to push the boundaries of psycho-tainment, tackling the big issues like "is my wife real or a nigerian love scam?" to learn the answer, watch "dr. phil" every weekday on syndicated television. please welcome dr. phil mcgraw. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i guess the big question i have to ask, was his wife real or a nigerian love scam? >> love scam. >> jimmy: boring the other way around.
>> at least they tell you what you want to hear. >> jimmy: i was thinking about you. i was wondering if it maik breaks your heart that bruce jenner is going to speak to diane sawyer on friday night instead of your show? >> it would be boring to talk to me about that. first off i would say if it is what you want to do, do it. what does it matter if anyone else thinks. >> jimmy: really? >> that's my first point. that's the first 30 seconds and then i guess we'd spend the next hour and 59 minutes saying, you are almost 80. what's the point? >> jimmy: is he really almost 80. >> this is a theoretical exercise. >> jimmy: wow. >> he's past for like -- right. >> jimmy: what he's an olympic gold medalist. i wouldn't put anything past him. he maybe a champion in the bed
as well. >> i will tell you he is a hell of a nice guy. >> jimmy: i met him. >> isn't he is nice guy. >> jimmy: dr. phil accepts no money for doing his show. he just does it to help people. >> thank you for acknowledging that. >> jimmy: i admire that so much. >> i do get my own parking spot. >> jimmy: you are a real doctor. sometimes people get confused with television doctors because of mcdreamy and what not. he's not a real doctor. >> he's not? >> jimmy: no. >> he's been treating me for three years. >> jimmy: what's your area of specialty specifically? >> clinical psychology is what i was trained in and behavioral medicine and forensic psychology actually. >> >> jimmy: this is a test you have given to people and we jammed it in the couch. i haven't seen any of this. i don't know what you are going
to do. >> you haven't. the first thing i wanted to give you and they tell me you really haven't seen any of this. we'll soon know. >> jimmy: okay. >> because one thing i can do is spot a liar. >> jimmy: i haven't, so -- what do you think? i'm now getting nervous. i feel like you are coming on to me in a way. should i be naked for this? >> oh, but you are. >> jimmy: dr. phil x-ray vision. give me the test. >> the first thing, you have heard of the inkblot test, this is something we show to people we want to evaluate that are call prod jektives. like looking at clouds. everybody sees something
different j. >> jimmy: all right. >> you can look at this. i want you to look at it. can people at home see this. >> jimmy: let me show it to them. oh, is that the way it goes? >> it is the way it goes at the jimmy kimmel show. >> jimmy: does it go like this. >> you can look at it any way you want. that's the point. it is not from the roar shock test. it would be inappropriate to show one of the items from the real test. so this is an inkblot test. tell me what you see. >> jimmy: i will tell you what i see. it looks to me like one of the "space invaders" villains, come to life. like he's attacking you in kind of a cute way. >> and where do you see that? >> jimmy: i see the eyes here. there are the eyes and there's his horns and his arm -- he is missing an arm and there's his tail, little tail and feet right there. >> so his tail is growing out of
the side of his body is what you are telling me. >> jimmy: he's turned. he's like this. >> all right. now, this is very important. >> jimmy: okay. >> are the eyes looking at you? >> jimmy: no. they are looking at you. >> are the eyes threatening or friendly. >> jimmy: they seem threatening. >> are they threatening me or you? >> jimmy: both of us probably. >> do you have any explanation for the holes below the eyes? >> i think of those as little paws in the front. you know? or maybe some kind of misshapen nipples. i'm trying to be totally honest. now i feel like i'm looking in to hitler's soul. >> nipples, misshapen nipples, you say. okay. so the eyes are looking at you in a threatening way and you see
misshapen nipples to the right of a side mounted tail. >> jimmy: yeah. that's it. >> would you say this is consistent with the way you see the world in general? >> jimmy: no, i would not. >> you would not. >> jimmy: no. >> i'm so glad to hear that. what i want to do now is give you what is called a moral dilemma. >> jimmy: okay. >> do you think you have a moral compass. >> jimmy: yes. >> do you think you are a moral guy. >> jimmy: yes. >> tell me how you would resolve this. don't hate me because i'm referring to a fat man here. this is a historical scenario written a couple hundred years before people were politically correct and didn't refer to fat guys. >> jimmy: i won't go haten 0iinn you. >> a fat man is leading a group of ten hikers out of a beach front cave on the ocean. >> jimmy: okay. >> and becomes hopelessly stuck in the mouth of the cave.
in a short time, high tide will soon be upon them and unless he is unstuck they will be drown except for the fat man whose head is out of the opening of the cave above the water line. >> jimmy: who will be drowned? >> the ten people behind the fat man stuck in the cave. >> jimmy: all right. >> fortunately or unfortunately, someone has with him some camping tools, including a hatchet. there seems no way to get the fat man loose without using the hatchet which will inevitably kill him. but if they do not use it everyone will drown. what should they do? >> jimmy: they should kill him. [ applause ] how fat is he? he probably doesn't have that long to go any way, right. >> so you would hack him up, pull him out of the hole and you are out of there. >> jimmy: i don't know if i
would. >> that's the question. what would you do? >> jimmy: oi, what would i do? >> i'd probably drown. i don't know what i would do. that's the only way -- who's with me in the group? is my child in the group with me or is it like you? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have to take a commercial break. >> be clear, you value people's lives differently. >> jimmy: yes. can we take a break and come back and i'll go to jail or whatever. dr. phil is here. we'll be right back. ♪ >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live convert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world.
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students come in and we do a isocial studies projectve and it was connected to language arts, and it was connected to math. we educated in such an interdisciplinary way that educated the whole child. the testing shouldn't be in the driver's seat. i should be in the driver's seat. i should be directing my students in a way that's helping them make connections, not just for an assessment, but for life.
>> jimmy: manny pacquiao and chet faker still to come. dr. phil is with us. go ahead and shoot again. >> jimmy: you are at your best friend's wedding. a few hours before the ceremony is to start. you have extra time. you are taking a walk in a wooded park behind the church. and you see your best friend's spouse to be bent over a picnic table with the best man riding her like a buckin' bronco. which you of course video. do you tell your friend and ruin the day and possibly your
friendship, or do you dummy up and put on a tux and a smile and enjoy the festivities. >> jimmy: this has happened to me a few times. i would absolutely -- >> were you bent over the table, riding or videotaping. >> jimmy: videotaping. >> okay. >> jimmy: i would absolutely tell him, yeah. absolutely. no question about it. [ applause ] >> tell me why. what would be your rationale. >> i'd rather have an uncomfortable day than him have an uncomfortable ten years of his life or however long this bad marriage lasted. >> are you prepared to lose the friendship? >> jimmy: with the friend? >> if he turns on you for it and blames you. >> jimmy: yes, but i can't imagine that would actual happen. >> typically does. >> jimmy: even if there is video it would happen like that? >> typically, yes. >> jimmy: well, i think so. i think i would have to do that.
yeah. >> okay. >> jimmy: that has to be the right answer, right? >> there is no right answer. >> jimmy: oh. >> there is no right answer. it is taken as a whole in to what you would do. the first guy you would hack to death with a hatchet and scramble over his body parts unless you were in the cave with me. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the second guy, you would video his bride to be and enjoy that later but you would tell him at the wedding. >> jimmy: yes, i would. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i'm not the one that said i would video. >> well, you owned it. >> jimmy: well, yeah. >> you could have objected when you heard it but you didn't. >> jimmy: i could object to the whole thing. >> but you did, didn't you? >> jimmy: no, dr. phil, i didn't. what grade do i get? >> actually, based on how you
responded to that and these, it sounds to me that you are a practical person. >> jimmy: okay. >> which is not a bad thing. >> jimmy: no. >> but your practicality also has a moral fiber to it, which is a good thing. >> jimmy: okay. >> which means you are someone that would be expected to be loyal. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> you are someone that would be dependable and reliable. someone could count on you to tell them an uncomfortable truth. >> jimmy: yes. [ cheers and applause ] . >> which is a good thing. >> jimmy: okay. all right. that's it? >> and you are a little neurotic. >> jimmy: well, yeah. i think i could have told you that before. >> you see the world in a little different way. >> jimmy: i hate to cut it short but i have to mention you have one of the real housewives who used to be the cute girl on escape to witch mountain and has turned in to this reality show,
i don't know what exactly goes on but you have her and i heard that the interview goes awry. yes? >> i did interview kim richards. as you know she was arrested at the polo lounge a few nights ago. she locked herself in the bathroom and wouldn't come out and eventually did and reportedly attacked a police officer when she did come out, not with a hatchet, but she did -- and so she has been taking a very strong position that she is stone cold sober and apparently that's not the case. she wanted to tell her side of the story. so we sat down and gave her an opportunity. >> jimmy: in the bathroom, did you interview her in the bathroom? >> i did not. i was afraid she wouldn't come out. and i would be stuck with her in the bathroom. i sat down and interviewed her and that will air this tuesday and i think people that follow that show will find this
extremely interested. >> jimmy: all right. dr. mcgraw, everybody. watch him every day. it is what you should do. thank you, dr. phil. be right back with manny pacquiao. ♪ here's one way. esurance. they were born online and built to save. they major in efficiency which means when they save, you save. they have smart online tools that help you find the right coverage. so you only pay for what's right for you. plus a personalized set of discounts you can take to the bank. cha-ching! that's insurance for the modern world. esurance, backed by allstate. click or call. your everyday dishes fwill only go so far.
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>> our next is one of the most popular fighters in the world who is about to take part in what could be boxing's all-time biggest fight on may 2nd in las vegas, he trades blows with floyd mayweather for the unified welterweight title. please say hello to the pride of the philippines, manny pacquiao. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> something for you. >> jimmy: oh, thank you very much. nice. you got me -- a nice warm
stocking cap. beautiful. thank you very much. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: so manny, you are finally -- do i look dumb? i look like a patient. you are going to finally fight floyd mayweather. it's not getting better. there we go. you are finally going to fight floyd mayweather. we have been talking about this since 2009 which was like five iphones ago. you and floyd ran in to each other at a basketball game, miami heat basketball game. is that really where you agreed to finally fight? is that where it happened? >> that meeting has helped a lot toward the negotiations. >> jimmy: you had a nice exchange with floyd there? you guys had a friendly talk? >> yeah, he gave me his phone number and i gave him my phone number. >> jimmy: one thing led to
another. [ laughter ] >> and then he came to my hotel. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause ] >> he came to the hotel and we have a conversation with -- >> jimmy: there's supposed to be no sex bafr fight. i guess it doesn't count if both fighters. it's even. >> we have a good conversation there and i think it helped a lot because we have meeting. we have confidence in ourselves. >> jimmy: do you call him now? have you spoken to him on the phone since that meeting? >> no. >> jimmy: now you are totally focused. are you training harder than you have ever trained before? >> i trained hard and did my best in training. so i'm ready, ready for the fight. >> jimmy: you are ready. right now. going in to this fight you are the under dog. he's undefeated. he's never lost a fight before.
does that make it -- is that worry you at all? is that something you think about? >> i'm not worried at all. it's good for me because it gives more motivation, encouragement and focus to win the fight because it's been a while that i'm the underdog in the fight. so last 2008. >> jimmy: you took the unusual step of recording your own entrance song. this is the song you enter the ring. i happen to love that song and i have been driving everyone crazy around the office because i plate over and over again. i sang it on the show. i know you saw when i sang it on the show. is it possible i would be asked to sing this song in the ring while you come in to the ring. i would be in the ring singing your song? >> in the ring you will sing the song? >> jimmy: i'd like to.
♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i think i could do this. i think i could become -- now, look at this. imagine this. now there's -- look at who's there with you guys. justin bieber. imagine me, imagine me right there. i got the hat on. i got the sunglasses on, just like justin bieber. [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: what do you think? i'd love to be a part of your entourage. i really would. will you consider this? >> i will. >> jimmy: would you like to have me in the ring with you? i'll sing, walk beside you, do whatever i have to do. i eat fight justin bieber. i don't care what has to happen. [ cheers and applause ] well, i really wish you the best. i'm going to come and see you. i'd love to be a part of it in any way. it is may weather versus pacquiao. it is live in las vegas on may 2nd and on pay-per-view. and we shall return with music from chet faker.
song "gold" -- chet faker! ♪ ♪ you gotta know i'm feeling love made gold ill never loved another one another you ♪ ♪ it's gotta be love i said it you gotta know i'm feelin love ♪ ♪ you gotta know i'm feelin love ♪ ♪ you gotta know i'm feeling love made of gold i'll never love ♪ ♪ another one another you it's gotta be love i said it ♪
♪ i might as well be in a garden i said a smell in the air is a dripping rose ♪ ♪ you can be the one for me another soul to be my warden ♪ ♪ of anything there that's made of gold the physical kiss is nothing without it ♪ ♪ and you close your eyes to see what it's done a body that lies is built up on looking ♪ ♪ is all that remains before it's begun you gotta know i'm feeling love ♪ ♪ made of gold i'll never love a another one
another you its gotta be love i said it ♪ ♪ you gotta know i'm feeling love made of gold ♪ ♪ i'll never love a another one another you it's gotta be love i said it ♪ ♪ a heart'll swell before it's hardened with a flick of the hair it can make you old ♪ ♪ another hole to dig my soul in i'll leave anything bare that keeps me sold ♪ ♪ a physical kiss is nothing without it listen baby and you close your eyes to see what it's done ♪
♪ the body that lies is built up on looking is all that remains before it's begun ♪ ♪ you gotta know i'm feeling love made of gold ♪ ♪ i'll never love a another one another you it's gotta be love i said it ♪ ♪ you gotta know i'm feeling love made of gold ♪ ♪ i'll never love a another one another you it's gotta be love i said it ♪ ♪ you gotta know i'm feelin love you gotta know i'm feelin love ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
. this is a special edition of "nightline." >> crisis on campus. these college athletes are known as the grizzlies. but what some former players are accused of is gruesome. >> he grabbed me by my jaw and after that i blacked out. >> tonight the accusations of rape coming to light. one woman confronting her rapist and secretly recording his confession. >> i'm so sorry. >> reporter: with so much alleged evidence why aren't more cases prosecuted? we go inside the investigation with jon krakauer as these alleged victim go through the criminal justice system. >> this special edition of "nightline," crisis on campus" will be right back.