Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  February 14, 2017 11:35pm-12:37am EST

11:35 pm
>> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, denzel washington, the "sports illustrated" swimsuit cover model revealed, and music from lukas graham. and now, right on schedule -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. wow. what a -- i hope this isn't too forward, but three or four of you be my valentine tonight? [ cheers and applause ] tonight is valentine's day, or
11:36 pm
as ice properly pronounced, valentimes day. if you're watching at home you're either single or fini finished. or maybe i interrupted something in which case keep going, don't mind us, carry on. it's the only holiday that celebrates an emotion, love. but you could experience a wide range of emotions as a result of valentine's day, including sadness. i read somewhere that 15% of american women gave themselves flowers today. and 85% of american men gave themselves sex. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i don't understand that. i cannot imagine giving yourself flowers. roses aren't cheap this time of year. i bought three dozen roses this morning, $42,000. that's high, right? they jacked the prices up, which that should be illegal. if there's a hurricane or earthquake or natural disaster, grocery stores aren't allowed to charge $20 for a gallon of
11:37 pm
water, why should 94iflorists b allowed to do that on valentine's day? [ cheers and applause ] even roses, strange that the symbol of love is something that dies after like four days. [ laughter ] you know what we should be given women on valentine's day? cactus. they're strong, they're sturdy, they can be prickly but they don't require a lot of maintenance, and they can survive for like 50 years, like a good marriage. next year, get her a contact does. next year get her a cactus and run! i know a man's goal, and my goal on valentine's day, is to get through it without trouble. i want to clear all the hurdles, i want to get the flowers, the candy, dinner reservation. i take care of that sort of thing early. i get a jump. this afternoon i made a valentine's day dinner reservation for next year. so i'm set. people say valentine's day is like a fake corporate-created holiday designed to sell flowers and greeting cards. for the most part it is.
11:38 pm
but there's also history to it. it's named after st. valentine, a roman priest, who because he refused to announce his christianity was beaten to death and they chopped his head off. now we give out little candy hearts to honor his sacrifice. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] why, i don't know. those little hearts with the things, they're produced by a company, the new england confectionary company, they make 8 billion little hearts every year. about 114 of those get eaten but they make 8 billion of them. they're a little outdated. you know, they're starting to show their age. we did something to make them a little bit more contemporary. we made candy hearts, instead of the usual message, like be mine, hug me, we updated them with real tinder profiles. these are like slug lines you'll read about the people on tinder. we got these from tinder. first of all, looking for a cool girl to chill with. nice.
11:39 pm
this is 6'1", southern accent, thinks about death a lot. [ laughter ] pet groomer by day, photographer by night. here's a good one, let's drop acid and ride space mountain. [ cheers and applause ] just a guy in search of authenticity and meaning. i used to date a girl who owned a taser gun. i'm kind of silly but i'm also kind of amazing. this one caught my eye in particular. bisexual, friends and fun. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] do i eat these now? these have been hammed by like 27 prop guys. this is interesting. on valentine's day americans spend more than $700 million on their pets. which -- i don't know. you don't need to wine and dine your dog. either way he's going to hump
11:40 pm
your leg, okay? let's get leg-humping going on. it's valentine's day, we have a lot of couples in the audience. i thought we'd bust out our kiss cam, this is something we grab from time to time. let's just -- yeah, you know how the kiss cam works, you've been to the baseball games. this is the kiss cam. hello there. [ cheers and applause ] no? you're brother and sister? there we go, that's nice, all right. let's keep going. who else is on the kiss cam? oh, hello there, there we go. that's a good-looking couple. oh, cleto and his dad, come on, guys. that's very sweet. who's next? shake things up a little. anybody else? okay, yeah, all right. there you go. [ cheers and applause ] all dressed in red. i said kiss, not propose. [ laughter ]
11:41 pm
this was a bittersweet valentine's day at the white house. as national security adviser michael flynn became the first contestant eliminated on "the celebrity president." he had his job for only 23 days. meatloaf lasted longer than michael flynn. the president asked him to resign after he reportedly told the russians not to worry about sanctions put in place by president obama. he did this before trump was even in office supposedly, which is illegal. the white house said he didn't do anything illegal, they say the president just lost confidence in him, which is strange because yesterday kellyanne conway, the president's spokesperson, said trump had full confidence in him. it's like your girlfriend telling you she loves you while she's signing up for ok cupid. [ laughter ] flynn tried to resign last week, but vladimir putin wouldn't let him, refused to accept his letter of resignation. trump stepped in. on the campaign trail, mike
11:42 pm
flynn said, if i did a tenth of what hillary clinton did with her e-mails i'd be in jail. and now we have this. so great, let's crunch those numbers, let's figure out how long he'll be in there. [ cheers and applause ] all this drama meant white house stress secretary sean spicer was extra spicy during his daily briefing. this poor guy needs a vacation fast. >> the key point in this isn't that there were discussions. there was nothing wrong or inappropriate about those discussions. it purely came down to a matter of trust, that's it. thank you, see you tomorrow, happy valentine's day! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i feel like he didn't mean that. maybe he's in a rush to get to walgreens before they close. president trump had lunch with governor chris christie. it's interesting that they did this on valentine's day. maybe they're getting back together? i don't know. but there's governor christie and his wife and some associates walking -- he looks like he's in trouble, right? like he's being sent to the
11:43 pm
principal's office. a lot of news outlets were speculating because trump called governor christie all the way to washington, he must be offering him a job in his administration. turns out not the case. real story is this has been a stressful few weeks and the president just likes to watch chris christie eat lunch, it cheers him up. you know how pleasurable it is to watch somebody do something they love. president trump has not seemed to be enjoying his time in washington. he's reportedly headed to florida for the third weekend in a row to mar-a-lago, which he calls his winter white house. as if that's a thing. but you know, it costs a lot of money every time he goes there. his very presence is raising ethical concerns. mar-a-lago, they doubled their membership fee from $100,000 to $200,000. it seems like they're getting their money's worth. a couple days ago members of the club got to watch trump deal with a national security crisis over dinner. but the club is very clear, however bad it might look, they are not selling access to the
11:44 pm
president. >> want to meet the president of the united states? come to mar-a-lago! the luxurious trump property where donald hangs out. at mar-a-lago enjoy world-class golf, a luxurious clubhouse, and fine dining with a great view of top secret national security meetings. get your picture taken with the guy who carries the nuclear codes. and plenty of quality time with the big guy. basic membership starts at $200,000. or for $500,000, you'll get sauna time, just you and the prez. mar-a-la mar-a-lago, your all-access pass to the president. may be unconstitutional, other restrictions apply. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: seems like a tremendous, tremendous deal. we have an oscar-caliber show for your consideration. the great denzel washington is here. [ cheers and applause ] nominated for his role in the movie "fences." it's up for best picture, one of
11:45 pm
the most critically acclaimed films of the year, but you don't get an academy award unless our own in-house movie critic says you do. with that said, here's yehya talking about the movie "fences." >> hi, action! now i'm talking about the movie behind me, is call ed fen -- fenta -- fenchen. the guy in the movie, danzel washington. and volla in the movie. the movie fence, like something around your house, like you bought the -- home depot, buy a special like two feet by two feet, you put that in the good sand, you put the wood, you bring somebody good, not anyone because you want to do it straight after somebody don't know, it look like snake, the wall not good, the fence around your house.
11:46 pm
some people you do steel, some people you do wood, some people you do brown wood, some people do white wood, you make door in the front too, you know? and the movie, good luck for advence around your house. go watch-a the movie and good luck! >> jimmy: good luck to you too. we have to take a break. when we come back, getting naked again. and what the westminster dog show looks like without dogs. stick around, we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ today's the day! oh look! creepy gloves for my feet. see when i was a kid there was a handle. and a face. this is nice. and does it come in a california king? getting roid rage. hemorrhoid. these are the worst, right? i'm gonna buy them. boom. i'll take them. impulse buy. ommmmmmmmmmm. with the blue cash everyday card from american express
11:47 pm
you get cash back on purchases. it's all happening. with no annual fee. here we go! it's more than cash back. it's backed by the service and security of american express. it's just right if you want to start smaller. big mac... the delicious mac jr, the big mac with a single patty and no middle bun. now available for a limited time only.
11:48 pm
only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. they release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. tylenol® ♪ ♪ ♪ [beeping] ♪ the 2017 rav4 with toyota safety sense, standard. toyota. let's go places.
11:49 pm
♪ when you filter out the bad... you're left with...the good. in life. and in water. choose the cleaner, better tasting world of brita. choose the filtered life.
11:50 pm
[ it'[ goat bleat ] by peggy lee playing ] [ crow caws, music continues ] this is gonna be awesome! when it comes to buying a house... trulia knows the house is only half of it. and with 34 map overlays like playgrounds, demographics, schools, and more... you can find the right house and the right neighborhood for you. trulia. the house is only half of it. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. welcome to the show. denzel washington and music from
11:51 pm
lucas graham is on the way. also on the way, tonight we have the honor of making a special announcement. last night we revealed the identity of the new bachelorette, which made almost everyone mad. tonight we introduced the cover model of this year's "sports illustrated" swimsuit issue which hopefully will not make anyone -- in fact, the next "sports illustrated" swimsuit model is -- can i get a drumroll? [ drumroll ] judge neil gorsuch! no, not really. we'll bring her out a little bit later on. you will not be disappointed. speaking of magazines, "playboy" magazine has decided to start publishing naked photographs again. it really is incredible how much donald trump has been able to accomplish. [ applause ] you may have heard about a year ago, "playboy" decided to switch from nude to sexy photos which meant if you wanted to see a naked woman you were limited to a billion websites. at one point i was so desperate i had to go to a museum to look at a painting of a naked woman.
11:52 pm
so they decided to bring the naked ladies back. which this is like kfc bringing back chicken. otherwise it's just kf, okay? meanwhile, from madison square garden in new york, today was the second and final day of the westminster kennel club dog show. once again the winner was a dog. which makes sense. because it is a dog show. although last night it wasn't because of the one of the animals, last night it was a human who stole the show. >> you said earlier that you wanted to judge a dog, basically proving it could do the job for which it was bred. why did duffy stand out to you? >> this bitch epitomizes type. >> jimmy: my goodness. [ laughter ] [ applause ] this has become an annual tradition, we take clips from the dog show and we remove the dogs. here's what it looks like without them.
11:53 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know why it's funny but it is. in human reality competition, last night was the season finale of "celebrity apprentice." probably the series finale. the show did not do will with arnold schwarzenegger as host. mattize man, host of "the american ninja" show, beat boy george at the end. to me boy george was the winner because he did this. >> kaitlin, how are you?
11:54 pm
give me five. good to see you. good to see you, yeah, absolutely. >> look at boy george. how happy he is. schwarzenegger doesn't know whether to shake hands or make out. the ratings for the show weren't as strong as nbc hoped they would be but i enjoyed it. i think what i am going to miss most about "celebrity apprentice" is the way arnold, a man when was governor of our country's largest state, managed to relate every business situation to his body building career. >> i remembered that in my days, in my body building days when i was competing, people always said, you train harder than anyone else. i remember when i lost body building competitions, i came over to america. the next year, i won two mr. universe contests. if i were just the body building campion, the powerlifting champion, all those kind things, i'd have been competing my whole life. competing in body building and
11:55 pm
powerlifting. it's like me going to the world championships in body building. when you go to the mr. olympia. it's understood everyone has huge deltas and big biceps and tricepses and abdominals and the you just look for who has maybe small cal calves. pow! >> jimmy: it always comes down to calf size. here's an interesting valentine's day promotion. this is from burger king in israel where they were offering a very special meal for lovers tonight. >> kids meal? that's for kids. [ sexy music playing ] burger king presents the adults meal with an adult toy inside, only on valentine's day, only from 6:00 p.m. from burger king. >> jimmy: there you go. i don't know. i mean, no offense, but if
11:56 pm
you're going to burger king for dinner on valentine's day, i don't think you're going to need a sex toy. maybe you need a gameboy but that's about it. let's fire up the kiss cam one more time, come on now. i didn't feel like we got enough enthusiasm -- oh, look at that. there we go, that's the way -- oh my goodness. oh, hi there, how are you? what, no? what? what's the problem? oh, okay, yeah. come on it's l.a., let's have a little fun. there you go, all right. isn't that nice. oh. well, thank you. that's the way to do it. don't be uptight, come on. the fist pump cam. i don't know if you know this. they say that the best time to have a kiss cam is at the height of cold and flu season. so thank you for participating. hey, tonight on the show we have a great program. we have music from lucas graham, the mystery "sports illustrated" swimsuit cover model, and we'll be right back with denzel
11:57 pm
washington so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ er 2007? smartphones? o m g ten years later, nothing's really changed. it's time to snap out of it. hello moto. snap on a jbl speaker. put a 70" screen on a wall. get a 10x optical zoom. get excited world. hello moto. moto is here. the moto z with moto mods. get a moto z play droid for only $5/mo. no trade-in required. ♪ you may be muddling through allergies.oned with... try zyrtec® for powerful allergy relief.
11:58 pm
and zyrtec® is different than claritin®. because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. try zyrtec®. muddle no more®. with the deduction findingombine superpower of ibm watson? ah! you get more money. that's what you could get. h&r block with watson. get your taxes won.
11:59 pm
12:00 am
with top prizes ofpounding than 50 thousand dollars?... how about winning... on the spot. we won! play cupid's cash, the new game from the pennsylvania lottery. and you could win... on the spot. keep on scratchin'!
12:01 am
>> jimmy: welcome back, friends and the lovers. tonight an american tradition
12:02 am
continues. the "sports illustrated" swimsuit issue comes out tomorrow. tonight we'll reveal who the cover model is. i hope it's me, i really do. i'm keeping my fingers crossed. she is here with us tonight. then they are, they, not he, this is their self-titled album fresh from the grammys, music from lukas graham tonight. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night on the show, david muir from abc news, pedro pascal will join us, music from mariah carey. on thursday, oscar nominee viola davis, jordan peel, music from fat joe and remy ma. our first guest is the ideal valentine's day companion. he's handsome, suave and he smells like skittles. he produced, directed and stars in "fences," which has four oscar nominations, including best actor and best picture. please say hello to denzel washington. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:03 am
>> jimmy: very good to see you. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, you probably hear that every day. >> every morning, all the time. >> jimmy: thanks for coming tonight. she start by asking, how does mrs. denzel washington feel about the fact that you're spending valentine's day here with us? >> she's right in the back. we should bring her out. >> jimmy: you can bring her out. >> you should come out! she's not going to be ready. paulette come on out! >> jimmy: guillermo, go tell her she's invited to come out. >> i'm ruining valentine's day already. [ laughter ] she should come out, go get her. >> jimmy: tell bus your first date with your wife, do you remember? >> she'll tell you. >> jimmy: she will tell me? >> now, i actually paid. watch what she says. >> jimmy: oh, really?
12:04 am
>> when she comes out. >> jimmy: you know already there's going to be a conflict of stories? >> she said she paid. >> jimmy: she did? paid for what? >> this is what happened. >> jimmy: tell us, it may take guillermo a minute, he'll probably stop by the far bar. >> i was going to splurge. we were going to take a cab. >> jimmy: oh, that was a splurge back then. >> that was a splurge back then. that or walking or the subway. and the meter's going. i'm going, oh-oh. how far away does she live? >> jimmy: oh. yeah. >> she paid. >> jimmy: so she paid the cab fare. on your first date. >> first date. >> jimmy: wow. then when you got engaged did you drop her off at a jewelry store and tell her to select the ring? >> no, i tell you what happened at our wedding. we were shaking so many hands, taking pictures, they ran out of food. >> jimmy: at the wedding? >> at the reception. >> jimmy: you didn't eat at all? >> we went to the -- she'll tell you whatever the diner was we ended up at. we had eggs or something.
12:05 am
>> jimmy: the food's never that good at a wedding anyway, i don't think you missed that much. what happened, guillermo? >> guillermo: she told me she paid for the first date. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> she told me that. >> see? >> jimmy: by the way, congratulations. >> she's not coming though? >> jimmy: congratulations on the movie and all the awards and nominations. [ cheers and applause ] not only do you star in the movie, you produce the movie, you directed the movie. >> i did the catering, i did everything. >> jimmy: nominated for best picture. you did all the stuff that needed to be done. is it hard to direct yourself in a film? >> you know what, because we did the play, viola and i, the core cast, there's no way i could have directed it having not done the play. >> jimmy: because you had it down? >> he doesn't stop talking for 40 minutes. >> there's a lot, yeah. if you win the oscar, which it
12:06 am
seems very possible that you will, i don't know if you're even aware of this, that will mean you have as many acting oscars as any male actor ever. [ cheers and applause ] in fact, only katherine hepburn -- >> somebody has four. >> jimmy: katherine hepburn. >> oh, katherine hepburn, okay. >> jimmy: she has four. you've still got plenty of years to beat her. she's not going to win any more, just put it that way. >> oh, oh! >> jimmy: who knows with cgi nowadays what they might do. is that something -- is that a meanful thing to you? >> i mean, it would be, of course. >> jimmy: of course, yeah. have there been years in the past where you either felt like you should have won or maybe you felt like, oh, someone else should have won when you won? >> i was there when i thought i was going to win, i didn't. i didn't think i was going to win, i did. i should have, and i didn't. i shouldn't have, and i did. >> jimmy: is it always the opposite what was you think might happen? >> well, you have to just have an even keel about it. you can't go -- you can't get
12:07 am
too high, can't get too low. >> jimmy: will you be prepared? as far as a speech goes? >> my children suggested i be prepared. not make a fool out of myself. >> jimmy: you have to be prepared, even though it seems weird -- >> you really do want to thank certain people. >> jimmy: people that deserve to be thanked, yeah. but the saddest thing in the world is pulling that piece of paper out of your tuxedo if you did not win once you get home, right? that's something that -- [ laughter ] >> yeah, that would be -- i don't know if i told the story. i stole a shrimp once. >> jimmy: you stole what? >> one time i didn't win, i was passing catering on the way out. >> jimmy: you stole a shrimp? >> i stole a shrimp platter. >> jimmy: you stole a whole platter of shrimp. [ cheers and applause ] i think you earned that. >> i'm in the limo. >> jimmy: in "fences" you play a garbage man. at one point you did have that job? >> i was a garbage man. >> jimmy: is that part of what attracted you to this particular role? >> no. [ laughter ]
12:08 am
>> jimmy: just coincidence. >> we had a man there, like when you go back to the yard, you dump the truck in the yard and there's a guy, just like a huge pile, 50-foot-high pile. a guy worked the edges with a broom. and he smelled like his job. it's hard to get that off you. >> jimmy: yeah, right, yeah. it's permanent. did you ever find anything good when you were a garbage man? >> they have garbage, then they have what they call haulage. when you get a call to go -- somebody calls for you to pick up old furniture, stuff like that. you might get certain -- there might be good stuff in there. plus like side jobs. you'd get an extra 10 bucks or something. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about that. this has nothing to do with acting or anything. how do you tip the garbage man on the holidays? because for me, i considered taping the envelope to the garbage. but i know it's 5:00 in the morning, they won't see that envelope. >> no, no. >> jimmy: i'm certainly not going to go stand out there in
12:09 am
the middle of the night with the envelope. >> good question. >> jimmy: what is the best way to tip the garbage man? >> i don't know. that's a good one. i don't know. >> jimmy: did you not get tipped much? >> no, probably for that reason. >> jimmy: really, yeah, it's difficult. there needs to be a system put in place. can you mention that during your speech? that would be a great thing. >> what should i say? that we need? >> jimmy: we need, and maybe you could ask the president to help with this, he's been on a lot of weird things -- >> forget thanking the studio and all of that. >> jimmy: this studio has been thanked enough. denzel washington is here, "fences" is the movie, we'll be right back! (vo) this is not a video game.
12:10 am
this is not a screensaver. this is the destruction of a cancer cell by the body's own immune system, thanks to medicine that didn't exist until now. and today can save your life. ♪ ♪
12:11 am
new pantene doesn't just wash i wiyour hair, it fuels it.gain. making every strand stronger. so tangles don't stand a chance. because strong is beautiful. a small town in the heart of tennessee. where families and neighbors work together to make every drop of our whiskey. if you can't get here, just look for one of our postcards. we send them all over. they look like this. we send them all over. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ something
12:12 am
and something... smaller. juicy. lettuce-y. onion-y. cheesy. iconic big mac®. now in three sizes, for a limited time only. ♪ ba da ba ba ba oh jane, you're getting a ticket modern life deserves a modern way to pay. i'm going to get you out of this chair. breton. you can use it online and on your phone. nope. it's been masterpassed. winning the little victories, priceless masterpass, the secure way to pay from your bank don't just buy it, masterpass it. when you hit 300,000 miles. or here, when you walked away without a scratch. maybe it was the day your baby came home. or maybe the day you realized your baby was not a baby anymore. every subaru is built to earn your trust.
12:13 am
because we know what you're trusting us with. subaru. kelley blue book's most trusted brand. and best overall brand. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. like paperless, multi-car, and safe driver, that help them save on their car insurance. any questions? -yeah. -how do you go to the bathroom? great. any insurance-related questions? -mm-hmm. -do you have a girlfriend? uh, i'm actually focusing on my career right now, saving people nearly $600 when they switch, so... where's your belly button? [ sighs ] i've got to start booking better gigs.
12:14 am
12:15 am
i'm going to tell you the truth. i latched on to her and told her, baby, i don't want to marry, i just want to be your man. rose told me -- tell him. >> if he wasn't a mankind, move out of the way so the mankind could find me. >> you're in the way, you're blocking the view, move out of the way so i can find me a husband. >> he was back the same night. >> come back, told her okay, baby, out going to buy me a
12:16 am
bandy rooster, put him in the yard, when he see a stranger, he'll flap his wings and crow. i wasn't watching the front door, it was the back door i was worried about. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: denzel washington and viola davis in "fences." the acting is unbelievable. i know you don't like to talk about yourself but viola davis is just terrific. >> kills it. >> jimmy: thanks to you, primarily, as her director. >> no. well -- no. no, we did the play on broadway. and we both won tony awards. she's a great actor. this is one of those cases where the actor meets the role. this is a great role for her. she delivers. >> speaking of great roles you've done a lot of films. any of your own films you haven't seen? >> no, i had to see them all. some of them i didn't want to see. [ laughter ] or i wish i hadn't seen. >> jimmy: we want to quiz you. we went to the farmers market and asked people to read a line from a movie, and your job is to guess whether it's a line that
12:17 am
you uttered in character in one of your films, or not. >> okay. >> jimmy: let's start "did i say that?" pretty straightforward. clip number one. >> from out of the ground, we were taken from the dust, we are and to the dust we shall return. >> no. >> jimmy: did you say that? >> i never said that. >> jimmy: let go to the film. >> we're out of the ground. [ cheers and applause ] to dust we shall return. >> jimmy: all right. we're off to a bad start. >> i'm off to a bad start. i was so sure, too. >> jimmy: you were. >> because i'm in character, i don't remember. >> jimmy: let's see if you remember this. >> the old man was right. only the farmers won, we lost. >> i didn't say that. >> jimmy: did denzel say that? >> the old man was right. only the farmers won, we lost.
12:18 am
>> but i did do "magnificent seven." >> jimmy: next question. >> before there was any such thing as a republican or a democrat, we were black. >> "malcolm x." i know that one. [ cheers and applause ] >> before there was such a thing as a republican or a democrat, we were black. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're back on the winning side. next clip. >> boys forget what their country means by just reading "the land of the free" in history books. when they get to be men they forget even more. >> i didn't say that. >> jimmy: did he? >> boys forget what their country means by just reading "the land of the free" in history. when they get to be men they forget even more. >> oh, that is me! >> jimmy: you're back on track. here we go, next clip. >> i'm drunk now. >> no, really, i said that. i assume it's from "flight." >> i'm drunk now. >> jimmy: you did say that, yes. [ cheers and applause ]
12:19 am
>> life finds a way. >> life -- no. >> jimmy: you sure? >> no. [ laughter ] life finds a way? i did not say that. >> life finds a way. >> thank you. >> jimmy: what was that from? "jurassic park." you were not in that film. next one. >> ain't going to [ bleep ] on me. >> i didn't say it like that. >> jimmy: let's see what you said it like. >> king kong ain't got [ bleep ] on me! [ cheers and applause ] >> didn't he say, is not going to? >> jimmy: he said it the wrong way. in fairness he's at the farmers market trying to eat lunch. [ laughter ] we have one more. >> hi, daddy. >> jimmy: "hi, daddy." >> carbon copy, my first movie.
12:20 am
>> jimmy: let's look. >> hi, daddy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: denzel washington, wg done. "fences" is in theaters now. we'll be back with the cover model of the "sports illustrated" swimsuit edition. is depression more than sadness? ♪ it's a tangle of multiple symptoms. ♪
12:21 am
♪ trintellix (vortioxetine) is a prescription medicine for depression. trintellix may start to untangle or help improve the multiple symptoms of depression. for me, trintellix made a difference. tell your healthcare professional right away if your depression worsens, or you have unusual changes in mood, behavior or thoughts of suicide. antidepressants can increase these in children, teens, and young adults. trintellix has not been studied in children. do not take with maois. tell your healthcare professional about your medications, including migraine, psychiatric and depression medications to avoid a potentially life-threatening condition. increased risk of bleeding or bruising may occur especially if taken with nsaid pain relievers, aspirin, or blood thinners. manic episodes or vision problems may occur in some people. may cause low sodium levels. the most common side effects are nausea, constipation and vomiting. trintellix did not have significant impact on weight. ask your healthcare professional if trintellix could make a difference for you.
12:22 am
crsugar is everywherets sugar shield and crest complete has a sugar shield to protect teeth from sugar found in everyday foods. crest complete. shield your teeth from sugar. so sugar may visit, but it's not sticking around. introducing new depend real fit briefs. now more breathable than ever. in situations like this, there's no time for distractions. it's not enough to think i'm ready. i need to know i'm ready. no matter what lies ahead. get a free sample at
12:23 am
how do you become america's best-selling brand? you make it detect what they don't. stop, stop, stop! sorry. you make it sense what's coming. watch, watch, watch! mom. relax! i'm relaxed. you make it for 16-year olds... whoa-whoa-whoa!!! and the parents who worry about them. you saw him, right? going further to help make drivers, better drivers. don't freak out on me. that's ford. and that's how you become america's best-selling brand. before you set out, you plan to capture every moment. ♪
12:24 am
but what you really can't plan for is when the moment captures you. marriott now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. so no matter where you go, you are here. join or link accounts.
12:25 am
>> jimmy: hi, there. still to come, music from lukas graham. our next guest has a face that will grace the cover of the "sports illustrated" swimsuit issue for a third time, which i think makes her the superest model of them all. please say hello to kate upton! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: this is like the biggest deal in all of modeling, right? is there anything bigger than the "sports illustrated" swimsuit issue? >> not for me. >> jimmy: not for anybody. three coughest, the all-time record is held by elle
12:26 am
mcpherson. >> oh, good, we figured that out. >> jimmy: we figured that out, who you've vowed to destroy, is that true? >> never, never. who i vowed to be like. >> jimmy: you vow to be like. and perhaps surpass one day. when did they tell you that you're going to be on the cover of the magazine? i know this is a secretive thing. >> yeah, they were very -- they're very difficult to read. they just completely ghost you. >> jimmy: okay. >> they just don't ever talk to you at all. you're texting, hey, what's going on? is there "si" launch, are we going to announce anything? they finally gave me a call yesterday. >> jimmy: yesterday they told you, wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: they don't give you any notice at all. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: so there are a bunch of women who pose for the magazine that have no idea whether -- there's a bunch of angry women right now. [ laughter ] >> i think there's angry women right now, but i don't think necessarily it's the "sports illustrated" swimsuit models. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] . >> jimmy: i see. angry because of valentine's day, probably. speaking of valentine's day,
12:27 am
your fiance justin verlander is a pitcher for the detroit tigers. >> yes. >> jimmy: he's starting spring training today? >> yes, today is the first day of spring training. so clearly the detroit tigers hate love. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they're anti-love, why would they do that to you? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: did he send you flowers? >> we celebrated early. >> jimmy: how early? christmas time? [ laughter ] because you knew this was coming. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: that's very good. did you tell anybody? you're not supposed to. did you violate the rules and tell any members of your family or anything? >> yes. >> jimmy: you did, i would say, don't tell me secrets. that's probably why they just called me yesterday. >> jimmy: right. now you have not seen the cover, you don't know which photograph they picked? >> no, i have no idea. >> jimmy: i am going to reveal to you and to the world now -- [ cheers and applause ] the cover of "sports illustrated." this is -- i've subscribed to
12:28 am
"sports illustrated" since i was like 10 years old or something. so this is a big deal. can we get a drumroll? [ drumroll ] here we go. the cover of the "sports illustrated" swimsuit issue for 2017. well, kate. what do you think? is that the one you figured they'd use? >> very sexy. >> jimmy: wait a minute. maybe that's not the right one. the cover of "sports illustrated" -- wait a minute, hold on. >> even sexier. >> jimmy: now this is the cover. [ cheers and applause ] no, let's go live to new york city. to the empire state building. where we are going to reveal -- the cover of the "sports illustrated" swimsuit issue. [ cheers and applause ] there are actually three official covers. there's cover number one. [ cheers and applause ] cover number two. [ cheers and applause ]
12:29 am
and collector's cover number three. [ cheers and applause ] are you happy? >> i'm very happy. >> jimmy: is that really a swimsuit that you're wearing? because it seems just like a hammock they got torn to bits. >> i'm pretty sure that's just a rope. it's a "sports illustrated" nude magazine. >> jimmy: this is more macrame than it is swimsuit. >> i think that the other one is just a necklace. >> jimmy: you're on the cover -- >> this hand was very important in this picture. >> jimmy: this hand was the difference between "si" and "playboy" is what it was. >> really. >> jimmy: congratulations to you on all that. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations to your fiance even more so. kate upton, everybody! the "sports illustrated" is available tomorrow. we'll be right back with lukas graham!
12:30 am
that has more ski mountains to choose from than any other in the country. ♪ and that's not the only thing you can only find in new york state. you can find it all, only in new york. new york. it's all here. it's only here. plan your winter getaway at
12:31 am
>> jimmy: i'd like to thank denzel washington, kate upton,
12:32 am
apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time with him. "nightline" is next but first, here with not one, but two songs, "you're not there" and "take the world by storm," lukas graham. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i only got you in my stories and you know i tell them right i remember you and i when i'm awake at night ♪ ♪ so give it up for fallen glory i never got to say goodbye i wish i could ask ♪ ♪ for just a bit more time ♪ ♪ every step i take you used to lead the way now i'm terrified to face it on my own ♪ ♪ you're not there to celebrate the man that you
12:33 am
made you're not there ♪ ♪ to share in my success and mistakes is it fair you'll never know the person i'll be you're not there with me ♪ ♪ time can heal your wounds if you're strong and standing tall i've been doing all of that it didn't help at all ♪ ♪ they say you'll grow older and it'll get better still yes i will but no it won't they don't get it 'cause ♪ ♪ you're not there to celebrate the man that you made you're not there to share in my success ♪ ♪ and mistakes is it fair you'll never know the person i'll be you're not there with me ♪
12:34 am
♪ okay, boys! ♪ i've always dreamt of travel why should we die where we were born born ♪ ♪ some roads are laid with gravel sometimes you gotta build your own own ♪ ♪ i wanna tear down boundaries i wanna greet my enemies ♪ ♪ i wanna see what i haven't seen 'cause i know there's more i take the world by ♪ ♪ storm storm storm storm
12:35 am
i take the world by ♪ ♪ storm storm storm storm ♪ ♪ there's got to be more than this gotta figure out how to jump the wall ♪ ♪ i wanna live and learn don't matter if i land or if i fall ♪ ♪ storm storm storm storm i take the world by ♪ ♪ storm storm storm storm ♪ ladies and gentlemen make a bit of noise for my boys! [ cheers and applause ] i take the world by ♪ storm ♪ do it come on!
12:36 am
♪ storm storm storm storm ♪ i take the world by ♪ ♪ storm storm storm storm ♪ ♪ i take the world by storm
12:37 am
this is a special edition of "nightline." "venezuela: descent into chaos." once a paradise, now in violent unhelpful, plagued by shortages. >> there's no quality of life here. >> families fighting to survive. black market tiers profiting off desperation. >> the government is not admitting that this is happening. >> we're on the streets of caracas. the stronghold of the repressive regime. facing the danger of reporting the crisis firsthand. >> as we're trying to leave, somebody pointed us out. they said, those guys are filming. >> we're with brave citizens -- >> it's a dictatorship, they need to go. >> risking it all. >> freedom, freedom! >> hoping to save their country's future. this special edition of


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on