tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC March 7, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EST
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi! yeah, hi, welcome! hey, i love you. oh, looking good. looking good. welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it! [ cheers ] this is the show to be at. this is the one to watch. this is it. we the same person. we are "the tonight show," you guys. welcome, thank you for being here. here's what everyone's talking about. of course, today was the new hampshire primary. this is a big deal, yeah. all the candidates spent the day with their supporters, except for ben carson who's still waiting in the hallway. but we -- ben? ben? ben? ben? come on out, ben.
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ben, you can go now. ben? ben, are you -- >> steve: yeah. aw. >> jimmy: not only was today the new hampshire primary, it was also national pizza day. >> steve: ooh. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: so, one way or the other, chris christie will be giving a victory speech. [ laughter ] and it's gonna be -- it's a a great day. [ applause ] and in keeping with tradition, a town called dixville notch was the first town to cast their ballots in the new hampshire primary. yeah. even people in dixville notch are like -- dixville. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: notch! >> jimmy: well, it seems that as the campaign wears on, the candidates are really starting to go at it. in fact, jeb bush recently told supporters that he thinks donald trump, quote, "needs therapy." at first, trump was insulted, but then when he heard it would be an hour of talking about himself, he was like, "sign me up. [ laughter ]
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[ applause ] it all started --" people are still talking about the big halftime show from super bowl 50. well get this, i read that jay-z sent beyonce 10,000 roses before her performance at the super bowl. yeah, jay-z's the only man in america that can send his wife 10,000 roses and not hear her say, "what did you do? [ laughter and applause ] what did you do? 10,000 roses." speaking of roses, last night was another great episode of "the bachelor" with nine women -- [ cheers ] yeah. nine women competing for ben higgins. like always, it was full of drama. we love the show here. but if you missed last night's episode, don't worry, because here to re-enact a scene -- [ laughter ] -- with actual lines from the show is questlove and tariq from the roots. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> tariq: thanks, jimmy. tonight, i'll be playing caila, a 24-year-old software sales rep who wants to be understood. >> questlove: and i'll be playing the bachelor, ben. >> jimmy: great, great, great. whenever you're ready. >> questlove: do you not think i'm the right person? >> tariq: maybe my mind is thinking different than my heart. because i feel like you're the right person. i'm a confusing person. [ laughter ] >> questlove: i'm willing to sit here and be confused with you. are you ready to find somebody? >> tariq: i know that i'm falling in love because i feel like i'm being understood. i mean, i feel understood when i'm with you. [ light laughter ] and you hold my hand and you look at me. i feel like that's what i want in life. i want to feel understood, and
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a deeper way. i feel like you want other people to be loved and that's what i'm looking for in life. and i feel like i want you in my life. and i feel happy. [ laughter ] this is real, this is real. >> questlove: i get that. that makes sense. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. questlove. black thought. right there. questlove. please, they stopped clapping. they stopped clapping. they stopped clapping, guys, very good. thank you very much. the audience stopped clapping. that's very nice. the audience stopped clapping. [ cheers and applause ] i get that. that makes sense. there was actually another moment from "the bachelor" last night i thought was pretty funny. ben took the girls to the bahamas, and some unexpected guests wound up crashing the party. take a look at this.
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>> pigs were chasing me. they said if you did this, they'd stop. they didn't. [ screams ] >> oh, my god! [ screams ] >> this is like a bar in dallas. there's just pigs everywhere. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: be nice, ladies, one of those pigs could be the next bachelor. you never know. [ laughter and applause ] even weirder, after the shoot, the pigs were like, i feel like i need a shower after that. i mean -- >> steve: ah, that's not good. >> jimmy: did you guys see this? chipotle apologized to customers for closing down for a food safety meeting during lunch hour yesterday. and said that if you text the word "raincheck" to them, you'll get a coupon for a free burrito. [ applause ] and if you eat the burrito, you'll need to text the word "raincheck" to anyone you made plans with that afternoon. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] because there's no way -- you can't make that meeting, no. and finally, a woman in england recently broke a world record
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12 hours totaling 68 miles. while the previous record for running that much without getting anywhere was held by jeb bush. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, roots sounding good as always. fantastic. welcome, everybody. thank you, thank you so much. welcome to the show. you guys, we got some exciting stuff coming up. starting next monday, we're going to do a week of shows from los angeles, california. >> steve: whoa. >> jimmy: we're going out to l.a. and on sunday night, february 14th, valentine's day, we're doing a two-hour "tonight show" anniversary special. [ cheers and applause ] interviews, the games, the songs from the past two years
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that you don't want to miss. so set your tivos, set your dvrs for sunday, february 14th at 9:00 right here on nbc. it'll be fun. [ applause ] that's exciting. we've got a great week, so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, from "zoolander 2," the beautiful penelope cruz will be here. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and fresh off his super bowl victory, we'll be talking to denver broncos quarterback peyton manning. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: whoa! >> jimmy: that will be fun to talk with him. also, another sports legend, i'm a giant fan of this guy. magic johnson will be stopping by, as well. [ cheers and applause ] then on thursday, we have kristen wiig, bob odenkirk and elle king is performing a new song. [ cheers and applause ] that'll be good on thursday. but first, what a great show we have tonight. i love our guests. this guy is so talented. he's so funny and he's very easy on the eyes, apparently. [ cheers ] from the new movie "deadpool,"
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[ cheers and applause ] he's a good man. >> steve: he's a delight. >> jimmy: oh, he's a great guy. >> steve: he's the best. >> jimmy: later in the show, ryan and i are going to play a a game of musical beers. [ audience oohs ] with some surprise guests. it's gonna be fun. plus, she's a terrific actress. her new movie is called "touched with fire." the lovely katie holmes is dropping in. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love her, too. and we've got great, great music from my man -- thomas rhett is here, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: yeah! >> jimmy: i am a body double for thomas and ryan. >> steve: are you serious? >> jimmy: yeah, that's weird to have them both on the show. >> steve: that's so funny. that's a weird coincidence. >> jimmy: yeah, because the other -- here's what happened. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: i wore my shirt the other day, all right? >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: i worked out and then i put it up on the clothesline. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: because i like to air dry. >> steve: yeah, love it. you love it. you said there's nothing better than the sun. >> jimmy: yeah, the sun dries it out. nothing better than the sun. anyways.
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know, doing target practice. >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: because you know -- [ imitates gunshots ] you see that -- and now i'm like, "oh, i got to make my way back to the thomas rhett photo shoot." >> steve: right. >> jimmy: i don't know. so i just grabbed it off the line. anyways, i think it looks fine, no big deal. [ laughter ] i'm just a little -- fine, figure it out. good. >> steve: you got your bracelets on and everything. >> jimmy: i got it all figured out, man. i got it all done. yeah. his was good, but come on. dude is just jacked. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: how can you be -- >> steve: look at that. >> steve: that's a double dose. too. >> jimmy: that's my hand. >> steve: those are your hands? my wrists. >> jimmy: that's me there. that's me. the rest is all katie. >> steve: oh, it's beautiful. >> jimmy: yeah, it is beautiful. guys, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weight the good with it's time for pros and cons. here we go. and pros and cons and pros [ applause ] taking a look at the pros and cons of valentine's day. it's this sundayay
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it's a day of love. so, let's take a look at the pros and cons of valentine's day. here we go. pro, it's a day to spend with the one you love most of all. con, or as donald trump calls that, "me time." [ laughter ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: "i love you, me." pro, giving your crush a candy heart that says "i love you." con, getting one back from her that says "new heart, who dis?" [ laughter ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: i never saw that one. [ applause ] >> steve: that's modern. everything's modern now. >> jimmy: everything's modern now. pro, you and your girlfriend's love story got featured on a tv show. con, "dateline nbc." that's good show, though. >> steve: but found the courts -- >> jimmy: they thought they were going on a cruise. >> steve: what they didn't realize, it was a bag of human ears. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, all right. pro, writing a love poem to your boyfriend. >> steve: aw.
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a word that rhymes with [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: that's hard. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pro, the holiday honors st. valentine, who was killed in 269 a.d. con, because he gave his girlfriend a fitbit for valentine's day. you can't do that. >> steve: don't do it. >> jimmy: why are they making that -- >> steve: why would you do that to yourself? >> jimmy: happy valentine's day, here's a fitbit. no, no, no. >>te >>: , prvae s yo st mirer." othemoreroay osayifr urlkerug ]>> sve: au i'ou imenit. rc ill leadfi >>teve: ooh.: n, chitle dileado re bhrm.hter ] ef witth-- : ye. >>: yomake choi syeit yr ce
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, i t. t. m glnjoy it.i'thhi sae. 'r k know itou >>iminout . e w. i'y. s riw. ieewo keepinoush s c han[ uger ] myat's what ialt. >> that's new inn >> jiman di'tbig r by yrs a weupan ale th ly. but dt par thiseabut did u e s ? >> j: ye i incl wiy >>: . inoi kn.>>go o >> no.thmusend then iefthe halfmehow, lik--oc ] to my 'srt , i t me i n. becausi eyce aboue . [ ught ]>>immy: ah. s in ont her h ant. we're oh, d t. oh, my
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awho d he hpi anit this -- bor h t'ly i, because eyl ings sly they find, you ky --'rre beca e at undstdsm. d falln eaovstor j'sov stas well. omnd . jimmybaonreto >>, so our director. en whi h isd is li p ofe, crg. thout really ndt bl tse eienc tt were amazi a t inl suffengpaenheab to put it er. and he's really talented. >> jimmy: ll, see you do great wo ie film. it's amazing that you cado all is s i nt to show -- >> and i have to say, jimmy, you are the best because you go to everyho like when you'ren broadway, it's so nice when you're there and u aou say hi.
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>> jimmy: no. >> iiv : , cheend] soe. ye y alaus]>> j: i go oma myeay -- dn'tlly no rgo , nehilarious. : ar , i'm ju kding i me >>d. it>>imdowa tth abodygo ahe shows.i nd jt wanted to say -- >>so>> jimmyoh, zing. evody wagr -- am yoow. i wantryclip reies to wie. checitut. i'm just tryinggure t wh whom. you 'cau ion't lielf e, evewhen i theicatio dofeel lself >>y. u knt, hi th we nto get >> sorry. shouhave yelled. t yegain. se? oka're sido. havelly lan. re g to spenthe ni tonit. thenorrow mog, f the'll thepital get ile. can anythi, okay? l fill ts out. >>e ityou ok at ike th
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e i'm y. i'm looki ayou ke you're crazy >> no, y're ing at likeouon'tvereco no,. you. please -- please lea [ and ause ] >> jimmy: katie holmes. "touched with fire" opens in theaters in new york and l.a. this friday and in select cities february 19th. we'll be right back with a a performance from thomas rhett, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] turns out lemon juice doesn't cure pink eye. hi. how are you doing today? that's how i am. red head fred. ultra rare. i collect these too. nah, these are for my dog because he can never decide which one he wants until he gets home, so... american express presents the blue cash everyday card with no annual fee. cash back on purchases. my only concern is that this is where we put food. a dog's foot is cleaner than a human's mouth. that's what they say. is it? cleaner than my mouth.
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baby last night was hands down one of the best nights that i've had no doubt between the bottle of wine and the look in your eyes then we danced in the dark under september stars in the pouring rain and i know that i can't ever tell you enough that all i need is your crazy love if i never get to see the northern lights or if i never get to see the eiffel tower at night oh if all i got is your hand in my hand
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a happy man baby that red dress brings me to my knees oh but that black dress makes it hard to breathe you're a saint you're a goddess the cutest the hottest a masterpiece it's too good to be true nothing better than you in my wildest dreams and i know that i can't ever tell you enough that all i need in this life is your crazy love if i never get to see the northern lights or if i never get to see the eiffel tower at night oh if all i got is your hand in my hand baby i could die a happy man you know i
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i don't need no vacation no fancy destination baby you're my great escape we could stay at home listen to the radio or dance around the fireplace oh if i never get to build my mansion in georgia or drive a sports car up the coast of california oh if all i got is your hand in my hand baby i could die a happy man baby i could die a happy man oh i could die a happy man
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