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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  November 14, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EST

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i wish the circumstances of this meeting were different. you killed a changeling, odo. he was trying to kill my friends. i had no choice. of course you had a choice and you chose to side with the solids. to protect them, you were willing to violate the most sacred law of our people. no changeling has ever harmed another. until you. that's why we forced you to return home...
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what does that mean, i'm going to be judged? you will join us in the great link open your thoughts, allow us to understand you. only then will we be able to decide whether your actions were justified. and if you decide that they weren't? you will be punished. punished how? you have to understand in the entire history of our people. we have never had to sit in judgment over one of our own. that's why we took so long to bring you home. there was disagreement in the link over what to do with you. i'm sorry i've caused you so much trouble. perhaps we are to blame. we sent you away.
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that remains to be seen. what if i refuse to cooperate? what if i... refuse to join the link? i stabilized your condition temporarily. only the link can heal you. if you refuse to join with us, you will die. you may go in now, doctor. thank you. try not to disturb him. he needs his rest. i'll bear that in mind. excuse me, madam. may i have a moment of your time? you are cardassian. that's right, and on behalf of my people i'd like to learn if there were any survivors
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yes. there were no cardassian survivors. you mean... they're all dead? they're dead. you're dead. cardassia is dead. your people were doomed the moment they attacked us. i believe that answers your question. it was a pleasure meeting you. o'brien: i don't suppose there's any way odo could hide a communicator on him when he links with the founders. i do not think he'll be able to hide anything from the founders. there must be some way to keep a transporter lock on him while he's in the link. what about injecting him with radio-nuclides?
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mething to lock onto, but there's no way to be sure the nuclides won't disperse throughout the link. if he's in there long, we could end up with a transporter pad full of shapeshifters. odo: i wouldn't worry about that. sisko: shouldn't you be in bed? he insisted on coming to see you himself. odo: i thought you might be trying to help me and i wanted to say don't bother. o'brien: odo, surely you don't expect us to just stand by while they do god knows what to you. captain, i want to be judged. i'm the only changeling who's ever harmed another. i've spent most of my life bringing people to justice. now that it's my turn, how can i run away? are you sure that's what you'll find in the great link-- justice? i've heard lots of stories about the dominion and the founders and justice seems to be
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nevertheless, they're my people and i intend to accept their judgment. report. everything's status quo. if you want more details than that you'll have to ask our navigator. how much longer? you'll be informed when we reach our destination. we will be within transporter range of my world in less than an hour. after we have achieved orbit dr. bashir and i will be joining you. if you wish but odo may be in the link for days.
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come, odo.
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how long has it been? i've lost track. so have i. doctor... oh. oh... right. ( sighs )
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garak. just as i thought. don't tell me. i overlooked one of the security monitors. you were trying to override the launch controls for the quantum torpedoes. i was hoping to gain control of the phasers as well. i just hadn't gotten around to it yet. we have an opportunity here-- a chance to end the dominion threat once and for all. we have enough firepower on this ship to turn that planet into a smoking cinder. personally, i think that would be a very good thing. and captain sisko and dr. bashir? they'll die. and once the jem'hadar ships realize what we're doing so will we. but what are our lives compared to saving the entire alpha quadrant? we are not here to wage war. i'm not talking about war. what i'm proposing is wiping out every founder on that planet-- obliterating the great link.
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in the name of self-defense. i am a warrior, not a murderer. what you are is a great disappointment. you fight well... for a tailor. doctor. ( groaning )
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odo, are you all right? captain, i'm getting some strange readings. what have you done to him? he has been judged. captain... i'm reading a heart... lungs... and a digestive system. it's as if he were... human. we gave him what he wanted. we made him a solid. he's one of you now. poor odo. perhaps we should have killed you.
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he's yours. take him and go. sisko to defiant. dax: go ahead, captain. three to beam up. staring at it isn't going to make it change shape. it's blood all right. not a trace of changeling protoplasm in your entire system. type o-negative, if you're wondering. i'll be sure to remember that.
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yes, i was wondering about that-- why they left it unchanged. they left it this way on purpose-- to make sure i'd never forget what i was... and...
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captain's log, stardate 49962.4. after leaving our jem'hadar escorts at the edge of dominion space the defiant has returned home but for constable odo i'm afraid the journey has just begun. how does it feel? you're comfortable?
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it's fine. though it does make me feel a bit... itchy? it's the inkarian wool. you'll get used to it. unless, of course, you're allergic to inkarian wool. no, it's not the uniform. i... i think i'm... hungry. you know, i envy you. well, think of all the wonderful foods you'll get to enjoy for the first time. hardly wait. well, you've done your job. now i have to do mine. yes, i suppose you do. six months in a holding cell, hmm? the thought is unattractive, to say the least. well, if you ask me captain sisko let you off lightly. sabotage, assaulting a federation officer attempting to incite war
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yes, but my heart was in the right place. hmph. aroya: there you are, odo. i've been looking all over for you. i heard about what happened. i'm so sorry. oh... thank you. i know it won't be easy but, eventually you'll see how being a humanoid has its advantages. if there's anything at all i can do just let me know. what a generous offer. let's go, garak. constable? you all right?
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a headache. every once in a while, i still get flashes of memory from the great link-- a jumble of images, or a word but i can't quite make sense of it. you know, there's no reason to rush things. you don't have to go back to work right away. yes, i do. when i joined with the other changelings at the great link i... felt something i've never felt before. in that moment... i knew i was home. for the first time i felt that i understood my people-- their distrust of the solids... their willingness to do anything to protect themselves. and then... in an instant it was all snatched away.
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in the great link. my job is the only thing i have left. besides, i'm still the best law enforcement officer on this station. you're the best law enforcement officer in this sector-- maybe the whole damn quadrant. maybe. gowron: this message is intended what's that all about? i have no idea. the klingon empire is tired of words of negotiation of the endless delaying tactics of the federation. therefore, as of today, a klingon task force has been dispatched to the archanis sector. starfleet has ten days to abandon their bases and withdraw their forces from the sector. it's coming in on all frequencies. starfleet vessels found in the sector after that time
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notify the bajoran militia. for nearly 70 years, we have tried to live in peace... captain... we have fought at your side... it's him. gowron? what about him? during the link i sensed that the other changelings were trying to hide things from me-- faces, names... one of them was him. what are you saying? i'm saying that he's one of them. gowron, the head of the klingon empire is a changeling. ...will regain the archanis sector is by taking it, and so we will. let there be no mistake, no misunderstanding of my words. archanis is ours and we will take it back. resist us in any way and there will be war.
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and paramount television
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welcome to earth. i am admiral bullock and i will be your commanding officer for the next six months. questions, comments, bring them to me. problems, talk to lieutenant kinis. larson... you're assigned to the federation counsel deputy liaison officer. young and reiskin, report to orbital flight control. you'll be monitoring incoming vessels from the bolian sector. report back to your commanding officers
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i can save you some time there, son. they're bamboo. i know that. unfortunately, my tricorder is reading them as maple trees. i think the isodyne relays must be malfunctioning. well, why don't you pay a visit to logistical support? maybe they'll issue you a new one. good idea.
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company? not at all. so, what's you're assignment here? i don't know. i haven't received my orders yet. i just arrived. from where? a three-year tour on the intrepid. is that a fact? i thought the intrepid was patrolling the neutral zone. it is. i caught a transport vessel at deep space seven. got tired of wrestling with the romulans? let's just say it's good to be back. what about yourself? how long have you been posted here, mister...? boothby. boothby is the name. boothby, i've heard of you. i should hope so. i've been tending these grounds for 54 years. give or take a few months. and beautiful grounds they are. mm-hmm. logistical support. straight through the main complex second door on your right. thank you. commander. logistics is a secure area, and they won't let you in with that holo-imaging device.
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omulan double agent are you, son? actually, i was just recording a few images for my friends back home. would you mind posing for a shot? you want a picture of me? the one and only boothby. my friends would be impressed. well, when you put it that way. cadet! take our picture, will you? don't cut off our heads.
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and you're reading my book. do you want my drink, too? depends. what is it? klingon martini: vermouth, gin, with a dash of bloodwine. bloodwine-- never touch the stuff. what do you like? excuse me, i was waiting for a friend. valerie archer. hayek. jason hayek. nice tattoo. i bet there's a story behind it. a long one. a cave beyond logic: vulcan perspectives on platonic thought. sounds fascinating. you can borrow it if you like. thanks anyway. i can only take small doses of vulcan philosophy. stationed here? temporarily. where do you call home? you first. where are you from? everywhere. my parents were starship officers.
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starfleet brat. bratty as they come. ( choking ) can i ask you a question? have you ever reverted? reverted? not yet. ensign o'halloran, this is his third time this week. if it happens again, they'll pull him out of training. what about you? any trouble? oh, i can keep my human form. it's the little things that bother me. little things? breathing oxygen bipedal locomotion, and sleeping-- the concept of being unconscious for eight hours a night it's so... alien. i know what you mean. that's why i started reading their books. for some reason it helps me relax. but we shouldn't be talking about this.
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so, had a chance to take a look around? not yet. headquarters has a lot more to offer than conference rooms and consoles... if you have the right guide. is that an invitation? i get off duty at 1900 hours. commander. speak of the devil. we were just discussing vulcan philosophy. join us. another time perhaps. we have work to do. oh, can't it wait? what about tonight? do we have a date? 1900 hours-- meet you right here. i'll do my best. live long and prosper. a "date"? relax, tuvok. i plan on standing her up. we agreed to limit our investigation to surveillance. it was worth the risk. she talked about training. these are some kind of aliens learning to pose as humans. for what purpose? i don't know. i didn't get that far.
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excuse me! gentlemen! you've entered a restricted area, captains and above. sorry, we didn't realize... i'm going to have to ask you to come with me. why? all unauthorized personnel are to be debriefed by starfleet intelligence. direct orders from admiral bullock. listen, ensign, we're late for a meeting with starfleet command. the debriefing will have to wait. very well. when he regains consciousness he will no doubt want to report this incident. chakotay to paris, three to beam up. paris: three? i'll explain later. who's that? one of starfleet's finest. take us to voyager. what did you find down there?
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welcome aboard. where am i? on a starship. what starship? why have you brought me here? i'll report this incident to the admiral. who are you? gentry, david rank: ensign starfleet service number 9-9-beta-3-2-7-8 planet of origin: earth. we're not interested in your knowledge of human culture. we're not part of your re-creation. i'm captain janeway of the federation starship voyager. i'm from earth. you're not. gentry, david
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9-9-beta-3-2-7-8. doctor... what are you doing? i need a sample of your dna. why? since you won't tell us who you are we have no choice but to find out for ourselves. you won't be harmed. gentry to headquarters. security alert! we've disabled your combadge. no! don't touch me. disease! humans! ( groaning ) it appears he's released a cellular toxin into his bloodstream. he's dead. captain's log, supplemental: until we know exactly what's going on i'm keeping voyager concealed behind a class-three moon. chakotay: federation council, astrophysics
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the quantum cafe. computer, return to time index 4228. that's boothby. captain? the head groundskeeper at starfleet academy. when i was a cadet he used to give me fresh roses for my quarters. it's safe to assume this individual is not boothby. whoever they are, they've gathered incredibly accurate information about starfleet headquarters. perhaps they had access to a federation database. or they've been to san francisco. of humans, vulcans, bolians, ferengi... all alpha quadrant species. what do we know about this artificial environment, seven? i've used the tricorder data holo-images and astrometric scans to extrapolate a cross-section of the interior. i believe they used a combination of holographic projections and particle synthesis. power source? there are 13 thermionic generators beneath the city. i can't identify the energy signatures. the habitat's heavily fortified.
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go ahead. i've completed my postmortem analysis. you'd better get down here. on my way. if this is a training ground it could mean they're planning an invasion of the federation. we should prepare for the worst. see if you can find a way to penetrate their defenses. doctor: he may look human, he may sound human he may even smell human but there's no question-- he's alien. on a highly sophisticated level. if it weren't for micro-cellular scans i wouldn't be able to distinguish him from the genuine article. i've managed to isolate the alien dna. fortunately, most of his cells are still chemically active. if i use a cytokinetic injection i should be able to trigger a genetic reversion.
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talk about a wolf in sheep's clothing. species 8472. ining to pose as human beings? back in the 20th century the soviets used to build american towns to train their agents to infiltrate the united states. species 8472 could be doing the same thing. they're going to infiltrate the alpha quadrant. maybe they already have. tom's right. how else could they have gathered their information about us? perhaps they acquired it from the borg. it doesn't matter how they got their data. we need to find out what they intend to do with it.
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they will try to destroy earth. a logical assumption. they did threaten to purge our galaxy of all life. tuvok, keep working on a way to target their habitat's power source. we're going to need nanoprobe warheads and plenty of them. seven, see to it. yes, captain. in the meantime, i've got a date to keep. i made contact with one of them-- commander valerie archer. maybe i can capitalize on the relationship get a better idea of what they're planning. ke him back in the delta flyer. keep a constant transporter lock on him. if species 8472 attacks earth... the federation won't have any defenses against them and i don't need to remind you that we have no way to warn starfleet command. voyager may be the last defense
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last minute preparations? just planning my big night out. i can recommend a nice japanese replimat on the embarcadero. i was never very good with chopsticks. starfleet headquarters. brings back memories even if it is just a re-creation. i remember my last visit there. i was given my general orders for voyager's first mission: proceed to the badlands, and find the maquis.
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bout you? when was the last time you were at headquarters? before today? march 3, 2368-- the day i resigned my commission. i can still remember the look on the admiral's face. which one? namimby. he taught at the academy, didn't he? that's right. interspecies ethics wasn't it? tactical analysis. of course. ( sighing ) kathryn, you think i might be one of them? you're testing me. you and tuvok were in the alien habitat for nearly three hours. anything could have happened down there. true. why don't you have tuvok meet us in sick bay? the doctor can perform a microcellular analysis. tuvok's already there. you could've just asked me to report to sick bay. given ensign gentry's reaction i thought i'd be a little more
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don't feel singled out. i've asked the doctor to examine the entire crew. there's no telling how 8472 got their information about starfleet-- from the borg, earth. for all we know there's been an impostor on board. cell morphology normal. all of your nucleotide sequences are accounted for. you're 100% human. that's a relief. and tuvok? green-blooded vulcan through and through. well, two down, 125 to go. right. i don't want to be late. just be home before midnight. yes, ma'am. i've enhanced this tricorder with a transoptic datalink. it should help you access some of their systems. type-one phaser, modified to fire borg nanoprobes. right. do you always arm yourself before a first date? you've never had a date with species 8472.
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, chakotay. is she cute? in her human form, anyway. i've always wondered what it would be like to date an alien. i'll take notes. we're making our approach. all stop. shields up. feisty little fellows. you've increased their cellular motility by over 200%. i thought it would be prudent to maximize their efficiency. seven, the last time we used nanoprobes we sent 8472 scurrying back to fluidic space. you can't get more efficient than that. the species is highly adaptive. it's been over a year since our first encounter. they may have developed a defense against our technology. there's one way to find out. we can test the nanoprobes on our corpse. you'll find the body in morgue chamber three. beam it to the surgical bay. the creature's only been dead for a few hours. there should still be plenty of cellular activity. initiate a bio-scan, full spectrum. don't worry. it's an autonomic reflex.
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in its nervous system. something's wrong. the nanoprobes should have taken effect by now. hmm. what is it? the creature's nucleotides are still intact. it looks like your concerns were warranted. we'll have to inform the captain. we may have to... doctor. false alarm. i will replicate more nanoprobes. i don't mind telling you, seven i'm still holding out for a diplomatic solution. improbable. species 8472 will not respond to diplomacy. g. my point is, anything's possible if you keep an open mind. optimism, seven. try to look on the bright side. it is difficult to be optimistic when we are preparing for battle. have you ever heard the phrase "the best defense is a good offense"? no. throughout human history weapons of mass destruction were often designed in the hopes that they'd never be used. and yet, in earth's third world war nuclear weapons accounted for 600 million casualties.
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an unfortunate exception. we were just talking about you. she didn't think you were going to show up. boothby! i've known archer since she was a first-year cadet. easily impressed. i didn't think you were her type. ( chuckling ) oh, uh, if you'll excuse me i've got some midnight orchids that need my attention. think about what i said, young lady and you'll be fine. thanks, boothby. problems? i was offered a field commission this morning. first officer of the starship hor-cha. congratulations.
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so, what did boothby say? du cha mee gagh roch. "smile when you eat the gagh." ( laughing ) wise words. yeah. do you always seek advice from the groundskeeper? half the captains in starfleet wouldn't be where they are today if it weren't for boothby. lopez, picard richardson... just to name a few. closing time. you offered to be my guide. where's our next stop? can you dance? at the vulcan nightclub. vulcan? it's just around the corner. ( chuckles ) take it easy, harry. we didn't build the delta flier to withstand such extensive pacing.
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four hours? it's a date. these things can't be rushed. they probably just finished dinner a couple of drinks and now, they are moving past the polite stage. "polite stage." the last 8472 i met tried to dissolve me from the inside out. it was only trying to get to know you better, harry. you can't fault a person for that. look, chakotay can take care of himself better than us to come to the rescue? turns out the transporter malfunctioned. my uniform ended up in the pattern buffer. you're kidding. you were naked? not entirely. i had my combadge. i hope it was well-placed. computer, lights. so this is where they're putting up officers nowadays.
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water's fine. i'm beginning to think you're a teetotaler. i like to stay in control. always at yellow alert, huh? something like that. find anythg interesting? beyond the galactic edge: humanity's quest for infinity. this is a 21st century edition of hesterman, isn't it? replicated. good book, though. never read it. human beings-- they're quite a paradox. oh? how so? at first glance... they're so primitive-- genetic impurities, no telepathy, violent-- and yet they've created so many beautiful ways to communicate their ideas-- literature, art, music.
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you must think i'm crazy. not at all. i wonder what they think about us? hard to say. i'll tell you what i think. they despise us. they'll attack any species that's not a part of their federation... hmm. speaking of being in human form i could use an isomorphic injection. you need one? i'm fine.
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commander. how do you like the view? lovely. looks like a full moon. you can see the entire bay on a night like this. i should have brought my holo-imager. oh, feel that. salinated oxygen molecules stimulating the epidermal neural receptors. non-fluidic space has its charms. no argument there. planet earth. the simulation will be real soon enough. how soon do you think? weeks, days. as soon as they think we're ready.
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please. ( sighs ) i'm starting to wonder if all this is worth the effort. what do you mean? this simulation, our mission-- are we certain the humans pose a threat? they were allies with the borg. they invaded our realm. that was one incident. doesn't mean the entire federation is planning a war against us. we can't trust them. we have to prepare for the worst. i'm not so sure. i think you've been human a little too long. before you know it i'll be sending my resume to the real starfleet. "alien from distant galaxy seeks employment. references available upon request." well, it's getting late. i'd better go. already? i have a tactical report
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aren't we forgetting something? i'm no expert at human dating rituals but i think it's customary to kiss good night. ( slight chuckle ) you've never done this before. actually... me, neither. just... think of it as part of our training. ( sighs )
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report. i analyzed his dna. your suspicions were correct. how much does he know? it's difficult to say. he'll have to be interrogated. by now, he should be in the main quad. i recommend we go to daylight. he'll be easier to track. chakotay to paris.
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you okay? i just wish we didn't have to sell mom's piano. i know how hard she and dad worked to save for it. i know she wanted to keep it in the family.
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