tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC November 18, 2016 1:03am-2:03am EST
(soft squeak) (door chimes) come in. the scans of the sector ahead... shh. hear that? hear what? a squeak. something squeaking. but every time i get close to it, it stops. if i can't isolate it i'm going to have to tear the whole flooring up. that would be unfortunate. the scans of the sectors ahead indicates little chance of finding inhabited planets. well, how about the vulcan starcharts? starfleet assigned you. we have limited data there are thousands of star systems along this path. there must have been something
cies, a trinary star clusterer we don't select our destinations by what piques our interest. vulcans always need a logical and d agmatic reason. my people don't share your enth(squeaking)ploration. space is vast, captain. i'm sure you're aware that only one out of every 43,000 planets supports intellllent life. i took exobiology-- i know the statistics. but we're traveling at warp five. there's got to be someone out here. (dodo chimes) come in. i'm sorry. i'll leave you to your exploring. trip tells me that sluggo's not faring too well. no, sir, but the doctor's doing the best he can.
starboard section five. yes. the stars are going the wrong way, sir. wrong way? on both my training tours, i had port-side quarters. i'm having trouble sleeping. because you're on the wrong side... wrong side of the ship, yes, sir. i spoke with ensign porter. he said he'd be willing to swiwih with your permission. you got it. can't have my com officer... appreciate it,t,aptain. is there something else, hoshi? no, sir. thank you. (squeaking) ready? fore and aft target scanners are aligned.
target acquired. simulated launch. five seconds to impact, three, two, one... wonderful. we're only off by three meters. only three meters? three meters could mean the difference betwn hitting a weapons port and a warp core. it and probably ourselves in the process. we'll get it right. all this should have been dealt with before we left earth. have they detected any inhabited planets or vessels? not yet. good. i hope you don't expect everyone we run into out here to be hostile. in 23 years, i don't think my folks ran into problems more than a half dozen times. i don't believe you were ever out quite this far.
these targeting scanners working properly the farther we are from everyone else the better. seems like everybody else on board is itching for a first contact. how's it going? not well, sir. we've corrected the problem but we're still off by .02%. it's unacceptable. are you sure it's not the simulations that are off? there's only one way to find out. how long would it take to arm a few torpedoes? moments, sir. archer to t'pol. yes, sir. prepare to drop out of warp. it's time for a little target practice. acknowledged. thank you, captain. come on, travis.
make your modifications. we'll run another test first chance we get. anyone sitting here? no. please sit down. sit down. sluggo any better? i'm afraid not. try the e tatoes. they're delicious. resequenced protein. yes. the flavor's remarkable. on my homeworld ring a meal. consider it a waste of time. it's taken me a while, but i've grown quite attached to it. wasting time seems to be all we've been doing. starting to get a little antsy. antsy? restless. hmm. we've been on the momo for two weeks and haven't seen a damn thing. every moment's been an advdvture for me. humans are so unpredictable.
have you smelled ensign socorro after she exercises? uh... she gives off a fragrance not unlike the adrenal gland of a nausicaan. crewmen bennett and hayden over there-- do you see them? if i'm not mistaken they are preparing to mate. do you think they might let me watch? it's good to see you're enjoying yourself. mmm. mmm! bridge to captain archer. tucker: how big is it? approximately 92 meters in length. it's not moving at all. that's odd. where's the nearest star system? almost three light-years away. they could be running some kind of a deep space experiment. maybe we should go have a look.
we insist. range: 5,000 kilometers. the vessel's hull is comprised of tritanium and disilicon polymers. i'm not getting anything on their propulsion system. it may be off-line. it's something, isn't it? if they have any weapons they're not charged. any com activity? no, sir. run thisishrough the translation matrix. my name is jonathan archer. i'm captptn of the starshipenterprise. we're on a mission of peaceful exploration. oh, we come from the planet earth.
. did you rotate the frequencies? i'll try it again. no response, sir. tucker: captain, mind if i push in on the venting ports around that hatch? go ahead. are those the venting g rts or hull breaches? s. let's get a look at the other side. those look like scorch marks. the residue indicates oxidization and thererl shock effects. it could be the result of a high-yield particle impact. yoyomean weapons. possibly. are we close enough to scan for bio-signs?
might be seen as a violation of privacy. anything. if there is anyone home you can bet they know we're out here. then why haven't they responded? not everyone chooses to answer the door when they hear a knock. it would be best to resume our previous course. see if you can find anototr hatch. diameter? .9 meters. scan for bio-signs. there are a number of life-forms aboard. humanoid? their cellular activity i ibelow the threshold of your sensors. maybe they're in trouble; sick or something.
is there a problem, commander? i want to go with you. i'm bringing a translator and a security officer. why would i need an engineer? what makes you think you can open the hatch or turn the e ghts on, for that matter? we've got beacons, trip. well, that ship could have a lot of decks. you might nene somebody
okay, i've got a better reason why you need an engineer. 'cause your engineer signed onto this mission of exploration so he could do a little exploring. he didn't sign on so he could sit in engineering while you three get to break into that ship. we're not breaking in. we're just going to see if everything's okay. you're chomping at the bit to find out what's i ithere. why should i be any different? we just got out here, trip. there's s ing to be plenty of time to go exploring. right now, i need you onenterprise dodo with your engine. when i used to dream about this mission the last thing i envisioned was having a vulcan on board who continuously sucked the air out of the room. well... maybe she's right. whoever's on that shipipmig.
can use our help. computer, pause. you know... hey. you know that you and cheddar don't get along. ah... resume personal l g. before we left, admiral forrest said we'd be making history with every light-year but we're not going to do that sitting on our hands. (door chimes) computer, pause. come in. sorry to bother you, sir. it's not a problem. cheese? no, thank you. everything work out all right? sir? with the swapping quarters? yes, it's fine. thank you. i was thinking, captain i might be a lot more helpful to youu if i stay here and keep an open comlink. that way i'll have immediate access to the linguistic database. can't you tie your universal translator
the lag time is tripled. well, i'd rather wait a few seconds if it means having you on-site. fofoall we know, the ut won't work. you'll be our only backup. anyway, it should be exciting. half the crew would give their eyeteeth to be going over there. what's wrong? the environmental suits... they make me a little... claustrophobic. and you took a jobobon a ? you talked me into it, remember? i don't recall reading about any problems during your zero-g training. oh, i just... i bit my lip and got throuou it. well, you're going to have to bite your lip again. i need you over there. yes, sir.
is something else wrong? no, i'd better get back to launch bay. hang on, i'll come with you. (porthos barks) (whimpering) that's the last time, porthos. archer: going to war, , eutenant? can't be too careful, sir. you've seen too many science fiction movies. e phase pistols. put the rifles back. what are you rated for? bebe cleared on em side arms and class-three pulse rifles. never seen one of ththe. well, malcolm will check you out on them the first chance he gets. don't worry. it handles pretty much like an em-33. is this necessary?
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i have freedom to live now. - [narrator] join the thousands of people nationwide a aeady using mobilehelp, and remember, mobilehelp keeps you safe coast to coast. they're clean. ow. about a dozen. fifteen. they were being drained of something. whoever did d went to a lot of trouble. my guess is they're coming back. we should leave. there are 15 dead people over there. we can't leave. your reason for boarding that vessel was to provide assistance ifassistance was required. cleaeay, it no longer is.
phlox: not long after i became a physician there was an explosion in a cargo ship orbiting my homeworld. i was part of the first medical team to arrive. there were 17 bodies on the bridge alone. i'd never sese that many dead people in one place before. very disturbing. you have nothing to be ashamed of. i screamed like a 12-year-old. we're all frightened by unfamiliar things. doesn't include rooms full of corpses. nobody else screamed. has she been eating? not so far. she has been under a great deal of stress but t m hoping this protein concentrate whets her appetite. i'm a translator. i didn't come out here to see corpses hanging on hooks.
not corpses on hooks. have you ever considered that you might be happier back at the university teaching? i did it for years. it was quite rewarding. i'm an exo-linguist. i graduated second in my class. i spent three years in starfleet training. i was jonathan archer's first choice for this mission. every inhabited world we come to is going to be filled with language. some will have hundreds of them. me here. if she doesn't take these nutrients i'm afraid she won't survive. are you sure that's what she eats? it's close enough. i shouldn't have brought her on board. maybe i could ask the captain to try to find a planet with an argon- rich atmosphere. might be easier just to feed her to my bat. she needs to get back to an environment
what kind of pasta is this? it's great. chef told me. i don't remember. too spicy for you? it's fine. malcolm's anxious to run another weapons test especially after what happened. tea? no, thank you. captain? sure, thanks. i heard they were humanoid. is that right? humanoid. did they look anything likikus? they were in uniform. but you didn't recognize e e species? they were crewmen, murdered on their own ship.
i detected a stellar nursery along our present course. tucker: i saw one once through the big lens outside anchorage. a closer view might alleviate some of the crew's tension. what's the matter? the tension bothering you? not in the least. must be great not to let things bother you. se, , guilt. what if theyeyere vulcans? think you would've reacted the same way? they weren't vulcans. i said "what if" they were vulcans? would you have just left them there hanging like slaughtered animals? don't you thinkmaybe you would've t ten them down? tried to figure out who they were? made some effort to contact their families?
we didn't even try. whwh about you? what if they were humans? would you just stick your tail between your legs and run? leave them there to rot? am i the only one who's having a problem with this? you said it yourself, sir. whoever killed those people are probably coming back. so we should avoid confrontation at any cost. is that what you vulcans do? bury your heads in the sand and then just fly on by? "we vulcans" would have never gone on board that ship in the first place. oh... you've got an answer for everything, don't you? we have a code of behavior, and we try to obey it. you may not believe this
it took a few thousand years but i think we're starting to get it ririt. i can't believe i almost ignored it. we've reversed course, sir. we shoululbe back at the coordinates in five hours. you don't have a problem with the environmental suit? not at all. good. i'm going to need you to examine the bodies. try to identify their species and while you're at it it wouldn't hurt if you could figure out i can do, captain. what's being done to them. now's your chance. i can't think of a better way to find their people than through their own com system. you're going to need to get it up and running. aye, aye, sir. hoshi'll decipher their language and compose a message. hopefully it will make sense. captain... i'm sorry, ensign. i'll bring a security detail. there's no one over there who can hurt us. stay here and work on those targeting scanners. prepare to suit up at 1400 hours.
archer: how were they killll? phlox: different ways. this one was given a lethal dose of chloraxine. the first three back there were shot. particle weapons, i believe. this fellow hasn't suffered as much cellular decayay he's our best candidate for a postmortem. care to assist? panel powers up) yeah. (alien voice speaking) maybe it's a log. what do you think? beats me. could be a laundry list or instructions on how to conquer the universe. (alien voice continues) the grammar sounds bimodal.
let's hope the next time we make first contact it isn't with a room full of corpses. let's hope. ship. (buzzing) ship. (buzzing) phlox: just what i thought. archer: what? a zymuth gland. it releases triglobulin into the blood. whoever did this is trying to collect triglobulin. what for? oh, any number of reasons. to create medicines, vaccines. soso species have even been known to use it as an aphrodisiac. aphrodisiac? mm-hmm. it's quite a a mmon practice. i'm surprised you're not familiar with it. humans used to collect the bile of black bears and grind down rhino horns, things like that but not people.
to human lymphatic fluid. how long b bore the transceiver's on-line? a minute or two. i can't get enough of this. an alien spaceship... sending off a message to who knows where. the quicker we get this done the quicker we can get back to the ship. it's your second away mission in two days. yeah, great. i wish i had an ear for languages. the captain's going to need a translator with him neer. distress. (buzzing) two other teachers and i once took a hydro-skimmer life--sloths, pink dolphins out onto this small tributary in the amazon. all kinds of snakes. wow. gave me the creeps. if i didn't like being around anacondas yoyocan imagine how i feel about suliban
i'm going to ask the captain to take me home. you serious? i should have never left the university. i'm not suited for this. give it a try; you'll be fine. you weren't here yesterday. i saw those bodies and fell apart. captptn needs a translator he can count on someone who shows a little grace under pressure. that isn't me. you can't be sure of that. . distress. (beeping) computer: kunatsila. distress. kunatsila. i ink i've got it. ship in distress. dukta-mutoor kunatsila datii.
are you prepared to defend the ship? that depends. how long till it gets here? mayweather: ten minutes, maybe less. then the answer is most likely no. the scanners are still out of alignment. look, if you want me to hit a stationary dairy barn then i could accommodate you but not a moving vessel. do the best you can but i need you on the bridge in five minutes. archer to t'pol. deploy the docking arm. arm extended. how close are they? 8,000 kilometers. what kind of weapons? our sensors can't penetrate their shielding. haha you tried hailing them? yes. there's been no response. try again. the pod's on the arm. t'popoto archer.
report. we're dead in the water, sir. they seem to have stopped firing. they're closing on our position. malcolm? both forward tubes loaded and ready, sir. stand by starboard tube. reed: yes, sir. fire. stand by port tube. reed: ready. fire. trip. warp status. the nacelle's been completelylyepolarized. i'm afraid we're stuck here for a while. what was that?
een probed, ensign. we've all been probed. they have no doubt discovered that yououlymphatic systems contain some useful compounds. get to the armory. start distributing hand weapons. post security teams at... (alarm beeping) sir, another vessel just dropped out of warp. let's see it. they're hailing us. put it up. atad dvii oora. captain. he's from the same species as the murdered crew. they must've picked up your distress call. aureetuan! tell him the ship above us killed the crew of the cargo vessel.
y sense. what do you mean? this isn't exactly spanish we're dealalg with here. i'd be lucky if i'm getting half the vocabulary right. they've locked onto us with some kind of stabilizing beam. use the impulse engines. get us the hell out of here. i can't, sir. their beam's disrupting all our propulsions systems. tomii alo owaba! minas! ooran tuo calla! ling the cargo ship crew, but he believes we did it, sir. at least i thihi he does. tell him we sent the distress call. why would we kill his people and then do that? loor rah tee. ahtara noss rohnay. i think i understoododhis one. he says the distress call came from his ship, not ours. we needed their frequencies.
ee! something about dna scans. he wants to know why we w we there two years ago. two years ago? he probably means two days, sir. the phonetic processor is still having trouble locking on. atah hoss moor at! i'm not certain, but i don't think he's going to help us. they're fifty meters above us. fourty-nine.... the pumps. tell them to run scans on the bio-pumps that are hooked up to the corpses. they'll see they're not our technology. have them compare the power signatures to the ship that's about to land on our r rf. where are they, malcolm? they've stopped at about ten meters. i'm having trouble with the w wd "pumps," sir. i've got the processor searching for synonyms. loorah! atah hoss! the translator's not making a whole lot of sense to him, sir. he's getting frustrated. i think he's running out of patience.
do it yourself. do what myself? talk to him. that's impossible, sir. i... i-i haven't even learned their basic conjugations. talk to him, hoshi. it doesn't have to be perfect. you don't understand-- i don't even know how to sayaypump." i'll get it all wrong. it'll... it'll just mama things worse. things can't get much worse. sir. captain. they've started hoshi, hoshi... i need you to do this. we all do. that's why you're here.
ataa iis? minas alo... again. ataa loora iis da. oorehm miista voor. eetova vohmala? noss ohmeen. iis da. tuo-tuo ama tooras da. oorah, ootah, ootah doee oora. sciitaara. what'd he say? latoora de... emos owaba. aiista... de! ensign. they're targeting the vessel above us. we got impulse back. move us away.
iok's got half the department standing by. why do we need so much back up? because the last time they almost had him they chased him through six blocks of backyards. i'm a little tired of standing in these bushes. we know the house is empty. the whole e hool knows. empty houses are being robbed. we're staying in the bushes. wouldn't y y rather be working on a real case? this is a real case. twenty houses, three weeks-- $14,000.
i'm amazed. who is it? hanson: it's walker stevenson. walker? i like walker. he's in my bio class. i don't remember this being part of the m.o. isn't he suppose to be weariri a black outfit and slithering in through the window? this guy's the worst burglar i've ever seen. he's... drunk. hammered. pickled. to the gills. ( needle scratches across a record ) i don't think this is our man.
i don't think this man's a cat burglar. and i don't think the man we're waiting for is going to come by now. yeah. are we blown? we're blown. ioki, we've got an unexpected guest. he's yours. that's too bad. i kind of liked walker. yeah, me, too. he's in my bio class. leles go. ioki: take him in. let me go. you're going to ruin everything. settle down. you're under arrest.
all right, you have a party. not a grgrt party, a party of one. he doesn't invite his buddies. this hurts. flake off, isley. diana, your brother's being meme to me. leave him alone. he spent the night ininail. that's what prison does to a man-- just uses up all the good inside him. you cacaall drop dead. i still think we've been set up. are you kidding? we've been at this schoooo for three weeks staking out houses. this kid he just stumbles in and messes up the whole thing. walker's no cat burglar. tony: yo, higgins. hey, guys. hey, man. hi. hi, walker.